Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Yandere Stabbing

Episode Date: June 6, 2019

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a woman's love for a man in her apartment complex turns murderous, a gator grubs down in Gainesville, and MORE. TRIPLE L.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last stop. On the left. Side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. It's very rarely in this show that I feel the need to like, reach out and say, hey guys, leave Sid Hague alone. He's not sick. Sid is doing great. I've been watching him. This is very inside baseball for both horror drama. It's both horror drama and just horror insider news in general. But Sid Hague is a classic character actor. He is in The Devil's Rejects.

He's our fucking wonderful Captain Spalding. Captain Spalding, the greatest clown, evil clown since Gacy. The only one. As far as I'm concerned, of all of them, it's the only goddamn one. Right. Sid Hague. Sid Hague. But the problem is that he's lost a lot of weight. Yes. Right? And I too. And I think even on this show, we've expressed concern for Sid Hague. I believe that we have.

I think we have. As I'm going to only say, I'm going to say an online tirade has been trying to convince people that he is not sick. As a matter of fact, he just lost too much weight because he's starting to fuck with his money. Because people are not booking him and people are making shit up about him saying that he's too sick to perform. Isn't that weird? Isn't that strange? At some point you get to an age where if you lose weight, people are like, oh, he must be unhealthy. But like if we lost weight now, they'd be like, that's peak health.

Look at him. At least they're taking care of themselves. But Sid, all he is doing is just taking care of himself because the doctor told him to drop a couple of LBs. I definitely had to cool it on the losing weight at some point. But that was just because I was fucking running out of control with myself because you get fucking addicted to looking in the mirror for something. It's all weird. I will confess, I had a slight eating disorder, like slight, slight. Like I didn't realize that that's what it was.

I explained to Natalie what I was doing and she's like, that's an eating disorder. And I was just like, oh well, you know, come on though, look at me. Men have a lot of eating disorders. We don't get to talk about it though, do we? You think those bodybuilders don't have eating disorders when they're biceps or the size of basketballs? I do love watching them. Do you do that? I get into deep hole holes watching big dudes eat.

Have you ever seen the world's strongest man eat their calories? No, there's actually a documentary. I think it's something Eddie, like powerful Eddie, strong Eddie. I think it's called strong Eddie. Strong Eddie. They show his meals and honestly, I'm not going to lie to you. I was extremely jealous with the amount of food they get to eat. But then they say he's not happy.

No, it's a curse. I know. It dogs you and you deflate if you don't eat. But again, this is from Sid Hague's account. I wanted to read it so you could hear from his mouth. Number one, I do not have cancer, AIDS, or any other deadly diseases. I have COPD because I had TB when I was a kid and it fucked up my lungs that I smoked for 40 years. But I've had to COPD for 25 plus years, so no change there.

Two, I'm not super medicated. I'm super tired. For most appearances slash cons, I'm running on little to no sleep. Three, once and for all, I am not sick or dying anything. Four, I'll be around longer than you think I got shit to do. I hope so. Welcome to Sidestories, everyone. I am Ben Gissel with Henry Zabrowski.

Well, Mr. Hague, I hope you are around for a long, long time to come. And if you ever want to come on and be interviewed for our Patreon series, if someone knows Sid out there, please have him contact us and we can clear this whole thing up because Sid Hagg is healthy. I also, before we get to some stories here and before we talk about the wonderful little tour we were just on, I want to throw congratulations out. We got an email from Ryan and I'm going to say the last name because I think this is really just a nice email. Ryan Hannigan, he says, a good friend of mine's mother Nancy was diagnosed a while ago with lung cancer.

She has always been fascinated with serial killers. So he told her about the podcast. She listened to you guys during her chemo and my friend told me she now really loves the show and we just found out yesterday that she is officially cancer free. So hail Nancy, congratulations. And that is what we love to hear is people going through the hardest times of their life and if we can spread just a little bit of joy with her. A little bit of joy.

We can just be a couple of horny Santas in your mom's house. It makes it all worth it. Just a couple of big slippery boys whispering in your mother's ear as she's sitting in the hospital and she's just wondering what it would be like and how much money would it take. Right. To get Ben Kissel's long lap wrapped up into hers. I do love the idea of Nancy in chemo just laughing hysterically and the nurses like, what's so funny?

And she's like, Richard Chase just drank the blood out of this woman's womb. And the nurses just like more chemo, ma'am. Yes. Oh yeah, baby. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening. Henry, I have a funny story for you from the airplane ride on the way home from where

we're from Portland. We had a great tour. Honestly, but then before again, we'll say we'll do a little bit more a fan service, guys. The tour couldn't have been better. We're having so much fun being out there. We can't come to, we can't fucking wait for Australia. We can't wait for Sydney. It really does in many ways in a moment of pure, genuineness, Kissel.

Remember I used to do a moment of vulnerability on the show? No, you made me do the moment of vulnerability. And I was very vulnerable admitting we're not too hard and I'm too responsible. And then I am too, I think too much and too deeply. I need to take some time for myself. Yes. You did that self in grand daisine. Like this is my, my biggest flaw is I'm too compassionate.

It's like, no, maybe sociopathy. Maybe, but I, but that's what keeps me, actually it's what keeps me healthy. My sociopathy is actually the shield that allows me to continue to be in show business. Well, we drove from Vancouver to Seattle and from Seattle to Portland. And I'm fairly certain your sociopathy is what's going to get us all into a car wreck. And one of us is going to die like that dude from Metallica. Cliff Burton didn't wear his sleep belt while he was sleeping. I don't know if that's true.

I don't know if you're supposed to. I don't know if that's true or not in a tour bus. But no, I love that idea though. A sleep belt. But he was asleep when the thing happened, when the, when the accident happened, but I had a Ford Explorer. I was completely invincible. So anybody wanted to try me or try us as a family, they would have to fucking come up against me.

Except for when you got into a fight with the city bus that was quadruple our size and you wouldn't let the bus get into our lane. And we started a fight that we were just turning without even giving me warning. I was in its blind spot. I was in its blind spot. It didn't see me. So it was coming while I was in the middle of the bus. This is, this is private talk.

Okay. That's what this is. All right. Well, that's what side stories is for. A little private talk. It is true. You're right. You're right.

And I'll kill anybody that tries to make us late for tour. I'll fucking kill you. But I wanted to say genuinely, it is so nice to meet all of you. Oh yeah, it's awesome. On the road. And that's when I started this. It was supposed to be us to start screaming at each other. It was that, I was trying to say how much fun it is to be on tour and meet everybody.

And all y'all are insane in the funnest ways possible. Absolutely. And the, I am, I am a garbage person now. Oh yes. This is, both of us were like, should we even, can we even do the show today? We're a little raspier. But that's okay. It actually makes for a smooth jazz.

Side stories. Smooth jazz. Take off, take off your panties. I'm going to give you an extra system. We're going to talk about that in a second. Interesting. So anyway, this is speaking of kind of like crazy in the best way. We're on our Delta flight.

The flight attendant's name was Jewel. Now unbeknownst to me, she was actually a listener. She was probably 65 to 70 years old, thin build, really pretty, but also one of those people that was like, she has an aura about her. So she was telling me about her. She's crazy. She's fucking insane. She's telling me that she has seen multiple UFOs and she has also personally confronted

humanoids on the plane. She said that there was a dude in 11F who shut his eyes and she said she could still see his eyeballs through his eyelids. Awesome. And then she's just telling me all of this. Turns out she also told Marcus all of this and she says that she can see it because she has the light of Jesus inside of her. And she also said the heavens gates is now open so everyone's coming through and she

sees herself on the front. She sees herself on the front lines of the war against humanoids. So can I get you a ginger ale big boy? Yeah, it was. Can I get you something? Do you want some bisco big boy? This is this is who's in our skies. Exactly.

It was great. It would be a great conversation at a bar or a park bench and it was a fun conversation in the, in the sky. But at some point I did realize this is the last line of defense in case of a water landing. Like this woman has to be there, but maybe she'd do a great job. I don't know. I will straight up say how brave are her to confront these humanoids because that's got to be very scary to do.

Especially if you can see their, their eyelids are translucent. You're probably from Scotland. Oh, could be. But you could be a hybrid. But I imagine you're just so light. You're just so, you're so pale. I've seen some in our travels because I feel like in our world we see all the stripes of the rainbow flag of goth.

You see all the types like the one woman in the dress and the meet and greet that I'm still kind of focused on. She was dressed sort of like little bow peep. She was really nice, but she said to me, you should go to a physical therapist because you're not need. Yes. And then I've been thinking about that and unfortunately almost obsessed with it. Really?

Yeah. Well, it's cause like, am I not need? Maybe it was. I feel like my knees are closer than they should be, but I don't know how you fix them without breaking them. And then you put them back into place the other way. And then won't that just make me. I feel like the knock need is what allows me to not be knocked over ever by anybody.

Yeah, could be. I mean, I don't even know if knock these is a real thing. It sounds like it's up there with the mumps or the measles are like, I know there's a real thing. I'm saying like now real. Well, I guess the measles are making a comeback. It's not like crumps. Yeah.

The weird things that people would get like the rigors. Yes. In the UK in the 1800s, people get, oh, he's got poor lung. Oh, he's got a bit of it. He's got a bit of the cramp foot where it just, it just means not having feet because he got bit off by a bunch of rats while you were sleeping. Well, remember when they talk about the relaxing strings that people would have where you just sit, they just sit on a rope all day and then maybe their fucking taint would get rope burns

and they call it like, oh, he's got the kiss of the grimmer. They hit right on his passage because they turned it back in today. They called the taint the passage. The passage, really? Well, I guess you're wiping wrong if that's the case. All right. I've learned this the hard way, not from my own experience. Are you wiping?

You're not supposed to wipe from front to back to front. No, we can do whatever we want. We got the guardrail. But I still have a lot of shit on my balls. I know that I'm just saying it's not going to cause a massive hepatitis outbreak or something. No, not yet. I don't know what happens in there. Unless someone's gargling your balls, right?

If you got shit in your balls and someone's licking your balls, honestly, they're going to end up getting kind of sick. Yeah, buddy. I don't know. Well, thankfully, I don't need to worry about that. So it's all good. Yes. Awesome.

I want to start with the story. Okay. Let's start with the tail. I thought that this was interesting because my inner weeb did scream for this, but then they're immediately mad because people are comparing it to anime, but it shouldn't be. If it was normal, it wouldn't be. But we'll talk about it right now. Okay.

So a woman stabs male acquaintance at Shinjuku residence. Tokyo this week, May 24th, 2019 is when it happened. Okay. Tokyo Metropolitan Police on Thursday arrested a 21-year-old woman for allegedly stabbing a male acquaintance at her residence in Shinjuku Ward, reports Nikon Sports. At around 3.50 p.m., Yuka Takawaka of no-none occupation. So she's just, she's free-wheeling. She is, she's in the free space.

Absolutely. Allegedly used a kitchen knife to stab a man aged in his 20s or 30s in the abdomen inside the fifth floor residence. The man was transported to a hospital where he remains in serious condition, which they showed pictures of on Twitter. If you look up, which is the term that they're using, which is the Tokyo Yandere stabbing. Okay. Y-A-N-D-E-R-E stabbing.

They, uh, they showed pictures of her covered in blood on her phone next to a dude that looked pretty much dead, absolutely covered in blood with a bloody knife at her feet. So she was just going off, she stabbed this guy covered in blood and she's like, I better check Twitter, I better check Instagram. What's she doing on her phone? Her job was she wanted to kill him and then commit suicide. Tokiako, who's been accused of attempted murder, admits to the allegations, I too wanted to die.

The suspect was quoted by police. Apparently she was infatuated by this man in her apartment building and felt that he, it was an unrequited love and somewhere deep within her, they don't really know. I've seen conflicting reports. One said they did not know each other. The other said that I've read in various comment sections was that they did know each other and they may be dated for a period of time. But she's being compared to what is now a trope in anime, I think called a Yandere.

Okay. Because if you look at the reaction to it, a Yandere is a character within a anime that is a young Asian girl who freaks out about somebody that they love, an unrequited love and a lot of times what might become, I may be wrong about this but it might become homicidal but it's become a meme factory. Her picture of her with the cigarette and her fingers on the phone has become a meme throughout all on Twitter of this Yandere fetish. There are a lot of people that say that it's inappropriate to do that but it is very interesting.

Are they fetishizing? Fetishizing! Fetishizing! This woman, the same way that Roland Stone did with Sharnov, putting him on the cover, he's lifting his shirt up ever so so you can see his bloody little navel and all the girls were like, he's so hot for a terrorist. Are they fetishizing this woman? Is she becoming a sexual icon for this movement?

A little bit. Interesting. A little bit. It is very, very interesting because it is a, people are saying, it's very, to see how popular culture can end up in a weird way, because I don't think it influenced her stabbing him. Oh, you don't think so? No, I think it definitely mirrors it in a way that, it seems to happen a lot in Japanese

culture. I mean, it happens here as well where people like James Holmes, being obsessed with the Joker, people doing these things where they identify with these things they read about and then sort of like with Slenderman, like with Black Eyed Kids, an idea that began on the internet that then became real and then now we are sort of dealing with the actual physical repercussions of Slenderman, that Slenderman is now, in many ways, real. It does the same thing. I'm fascinated by this because it's very close to, I mean, you know, again, my little

weeb inside me goes, yeah, it's so excited about the fact that anime is becoming real. I mean, I'm not necessarily sure about that. Most of the anime I've seen involves mass destruction, murder, serious sexual assaults. I'm not necessarily certain we need that future to be our future. As a matter of fact, Henry, we were talking about this on the car ride. We had a nice talk about this, which I completely believe in. So this is actually interesting because obviously Henry and Marcus are more in the sci-fi world than I am and right now we're sort of living in the version of sci-fi that is not necessarily

utopian. It seems as if we're sliding closer into that dystopian realm. Evidently, sci-fi authors are taking this upon themselves to alter the future in some ways. Certain people, like William Gibson, is a part of a group of sci-fi writers that are trying to write more positive sci-fi. Interesting. Because a part of what they believe, and I think is highly interesting, say what you will

about the present state of our country. Sure. But on paper, we're essentially in a social dystopia. We're heading towards transmit world if we can make it, right? Absolutely. But we have a cartoonish-like president with the fucking fake hair and all of his whatever bullshit. I hate even, I'm not even making fun of them because it's so hacky.

It's so hacky, yeah. But looking at it, like the idea of we created a picture of what we used to see in the 80s and 90s in sci-fi, right? We are now making it real. And a lot of sci-fi authors are starting to realize they need to take responsibility. And I think that that's a thing that we should talk about. In the 50s and 60s, a lot of sci-fi was skyward, right? It was about what technology will allow humans to do all sort of fun, imaginarium things about

all like space flight and living in all these like, like living in multi-generational things, but specifically as a mob's foundation series, which is very interesting to read. And there's a little bit more and more of that now. They're trying to come out. They created a book Semiosis recently by Sue Burke that was a positive sci-fi. So the 50s and 60s are a little bit more positive. We're going to the moon. Look at all the possibilities.

And then in the 70s and 80s and 90s, is that when it sort of turned into more like, I think we're going to stay here and make sure to ruin it for everyone. Well, especially the 80s and 90s, because they started really thinking that, because it was true, right? And I still believe it. I still think, unfortunately, utopian sci-fi is really fucking boring. Oh, sure. Now, I remember the glass bead game on Herman Hess, all those things of just like people

and white frocks, like playing with colored balls, being like, wisdom is in a quiet taste, like playing their weird chess games. Like it's all Star Trek. Well, you know, it's interesting. I was way more of a Star Wars person than a Star Trek person. Yeah, I like Star Trek, but it is interesting because I actually talked about this on Abelink and Stoppat this week. Go check out that episode.

The Lockport School District here in upstate New York. I think we discussed this. They're introducing facial recognition into their schools. It was a $4.2 million project. So now students, anyone that enters their school is going to be monitored and checked as if they're in the Chinese social credit system. So that is just a further indicator that we are going down the path of that dystopian hellscape that the future could be unless we change it now.

We're just allowing it to be because it's subconsciously, we are working on the marching orders of the pop culture that our generation specifically was, because a lot of us were raised by televisions. Because we were raised by televisions, those images are planted in our subconscious and we're sort of making them real. Where a lot of sci-fi authors, it's not a lot, it was just this one group, specifically William Gibson was talking about it in a talk I was listening to him do, about how like they need to create aspirational sci-fi so that the next generation

has something to look forward to. And it's not just like retconning backman, which I understand why we did because again, utopian sci-fi sucks. Well, of course, but utopian sci-fi. I like the fucking deadly robots. I like all the fucking aliens that we don't understand that are here to manipulate us. I love all that shit because that's what I like, but I don't necessarily need it to be my present life.

Real. Well, exactly. It's the same way I think about, you know, like a good Broadway play. Let's just say Cats. I'd like it to be on the stage, but can you imagine if everyone in real life, if it was in real life, those cats, I would, there would be a war against those annoying, disgusting singing felines. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Like while you're trying to work, trying to sleep, I'm here trying to record the podcast.

I'd go out there with a fucking shovel. You would have to. You would have to. So some things are best on the screen and the stage and not in reality. Have you read anything about the new Cats movie where they're just taking their faces? I'm so fucking excited. They're making them the size of Cats. They're doing the whole movie where it's just Idris Alba. Idris Alba, Oscar-nominated actor, is going to have his face trunc onto a cat.

Oh my God. That they are going to then, I just can't wait. Okay, so what is that? So where does this fly? And where does this lie within the dystopian or utopian future world? This is dystopian as it comes. This strong man who could have been 007 is now having his face projected onto a cat. It's money.

He's rolling in the money. I mean, he's pooping in the kitty litter rolling in the cat. She's doing just fine. Yeah. But so what happened? So let's actually just talk about this for a second. For those that don't know, because how did this, this is why Hollywood, the fact that Hollywood has any say in what artists actually do is pathetic.

Because you know this, this concept was created in a boardroom by a bunch of jackasses. So they are taking cats, they are going to be real cats with the faces of these celebrities. But they were excited about it because they thought that this is a way to pitch it. And they also think that kids like small things. Right? Kids are going to have nightmares. It's going to be horrendous. It's going to be the scariest children's show ever.

Kids are not going to watch it. You know who's going to watch it? Weird old people. Cats is not good. I know. I don't know why it's been around for so long, but then again. Because it's got a couple of good songs. Yes.

And we're not necessarily a culture that always celebrates the best of the best because sometimes to hit the sweet spot. You got to be kind of average. The best part, what I like about the cat's musical was that I like the makeup. Of course. I like the costumes. When I watched, I saw cats on Broadway. I know you did. I went and we saw, I saw it on Broadway with my mother and she was like, oh, the spectacle.

Can you believe the spectacle? Look at that. It's like, oh, look at the show. I know. And I know who that is. That's what's fun about the show. Well, your mother's reaction to it. But also, she's correct.

It's the costumes. It is. So you just CGI'd them onto a bunch of cats. It's like, what is this? A fucking Purina commercial? I don't know. It's definitely going to be disturbing. By the way, you know, we don't, we don't have a lot of requests here for things we necessarily want to accomplish in the future.

We have a little thing. We have a little list in the back of our minds. But one thing we want to do with last podcast on the left is... I'm so glad you remembered the name of the thing that we do fucking live. Am I still in the sky talking to that woman who believes in humanoids? Man, I feel safe. Last podcast on the left, we want to go to Broadway. So if you know anyone in the Broadway game, reach out.

We're going to create something really awesome. Because you know what they'll do on Broadway? They'll take us because we'll sell the seats. We'll sell the seats. That's the only thing that matters. I want to do last podcast on the left, live on Broadway. Yep. I want to be there.

I want to be next to them. I want them to have to see that we are also there. Oh, absolutely. And mark my words. If Donnie, they're living in the Oval office, when he's all done, if he wants to do a Broadway play... They'd fucking roll over on their backs. They would, yes. They would love it.

So anyway, I want to talk about this one thing here. And we didn't talk about this before this show, but I was reading this last night. River Phoenix, of course. He was an icon, Henry. Sure. Did you know that he was in the... I thought he was a good actor. Oh, he was great.

But did you know that he was in the Children of God cult? Yes. I did not know that. I think we talked about it in the episodes. Did we really? Maybe? Lightly? It all blursed.

This is like so many years. When was Children of God? When did we do that? Three years ago? 2016, yeah. Oh my God. We've been doing this. Yeah, buddy.

We've been doing this for nine years, man. But anyway, so this is just according to a recent article. They say years before he became the acclaimed child actor, River Phoenix spent several years in the religious cult. And those close to him say that he carried the trauma for the rest of his life. Phoenix's parents, John and Arlene, joined the Children of God cult when he was just three. So does this mean Joaquin is also a member of the Children of God cult? That's a good question. I don't know.

Because Phoenix's friend, Joshua Greenbaum says they wanted to make a good life for their kids. That wasn't the typical white picket fence kind of life. Yeah, so you let them be trained how to fuck by their mommies. That was the whole thing. Because they were supposed to, your mommy and your mommy's friends are supposed to suck your dick as a little boy to teach you how to be hard for the future. If you don't want the typical white picket fence, I don't know, move to Brooklyn. Go to Brooklyn or go to Kansas City. Go to any place, anywhere.

Yes, go without a farm. I mean, the white picket fence life is just one possible option in a series of other options when it comes to housing. So to raise money for the cult, the Phoenix family traveled and often busked on the street for money. They moved around constantly until landing in California where the family launched the entertainment careers of River, Joaquin, Rain, Summer, and Liberty. And I do have to say those names are a little controversial. I think the parents were kind of running out of options towards the end. He started in 24 movies and he is obviously a forever star. But as his star rose, he rarely spoke about the time and the children of God.

In 1991, he told Details magazine that he lost his virginity. This is disgusting. He said he lost his virginity, a.k.a. was raped at the age of four, but he did not elaborate. He said he blocked it all out. He goes on to say on October 31, 19. That's why he ended up dying the way he did. Well, that's what that's what his buddy green. This is all coming out because his buddy green bomb is talking a little bit.

So he says it was not a healthy situation. He says you can't go through that trauma at such a young age and not have it be affected for the rest of your life. So I just hadn't realized the extent that River Phoenix was was in the Children of God cult. And yeah, I mean, it seems as if that probably played a large role in his drug addiction. And it does make your heart break a little bit, doesn't it? Well, because obviously you get you get any sense of agency taken from you. Yeah. As a kid, you don't know what love is either because that's also been switched for you.

And it is. Yeah, it's fucking brutal. And then you become and then you become a mega superstar and everybody loves you. That must have been such a mind fuck for that poor boy. Of course, because then you just enter into straight up the fucking. It's just the fakest world in the world. Absolutely. Like coming into show business.

The love you get from show business is so fake. The love you baby stuff is this stuff that comes out because you're making the money. Exactly. At first, at some point, you're like, oh, it's love. It's love. Right. I'm here. They're doing it.

But as soon as you stop making the money, it's gone. So I mean, unfortunately, you didn't get to experience that. You didn't get to experience the down slide either once you're not hot anymore. And then you're abandoned because nobody cares because they don't have any emotions because agents are they are lizards. Yeah, absolutely. Well, you know, obviously this is going to be entirely up to him. I don't think he's going to be swayed persuaded by two chubby redheads over here on this podcast.

But I would love to hear Joaquin talk about that because I just didn't realize how close that family was to these disgusting people. And what a strange like to go from being molested at four, then to be like, and now you're on TV. How does your brain handle either of those, let alone those two things happening concurrently? You go crazy for a while. Look at Joaquin Phoenix when he went through his like long beard face. What was it called? This is me?

Or that was me? I believe it's called I'm Not Here with Bennett. I'm Not Here, right? Casey Affleck and Casey Affleck ended up going bankrupt and whatever. I'm still here. He was trying. I'm still here for something. He was trying for something.

But it was it just didn't it just didn't do. No, he went a little method acting with it. But nowadays it's weird method acting, I think, has sort of taken a hit by the fact that everyone views themselves as an actor in their own play. Well, now it's just every actor is also a brand, right? So you can't even just be an actor anymore. Now you are. You have your social media bullshit. You got to do fucking look at Jack Black.

He's got his YouTube series, which honestly, I really do enjoy when he plays video games. He's like, now everybody's got a diversified. It's so many freaking different ways. So you can't just be you can't be Abraham Lincoln for eight months. You can only do that if you're Daniel Day Lewis, right? Everybody else is that you got to be handling your other shit. Or as Jim Carrey was Andy Kaufman during the filming of Man on the Moon, which really annoyed Jerry Lawler because what Jim Carrey didn't realize was that Jerry and Andy were actually very close friends. They were actually friends and it was all game to them.

It was all kayfabe. The whole thing was kayfabe. But Jim, like he was like, he must have been mean to Jerry off the screen too. And he's like, no, they actually like got together and hopefully the thing is wouldn't it be fun? So Andy Kaufman, obviously, where we both love him because he was the first one. The people who do Andy Kaufman. Now I'm like, my eyes are bleeding. Of course.

He was the first one. But how much fun would it have been to truly party with Tony Clifton? Oh, my God, to be there with the be in your room with him. I would have given anything, even the two of them, because now Tony Clifton is around still. Of course. Bob Zamuda does it. And then Bob Zamuda then has somebody else do it too. So that Bob could be at his best places.

But then you find out Bob Zamuda is actually the troll personality that Andy Kaufman was way more of a, he really was a song and dance man, which is what he calls himself. Right. So he, the two of them would kind of play off each other. I think Bob Zamuda would kind of bring the worst out of Andy Kaufman. Oh, I think so. But they liked it. They liked it.

They liked that fucking part because it was like just two conniving little boys, essentially. But Tony Clifton, man, that would have been a fucking blast. Speaking of kayfabe, the Andy Kaufman book written by Bob Zamuda. I think it's full of it. But it is so fun to read. If you get a chance to check that out, you'll read it in two hours. All the lies are great. But I mean, I do think, but you don't think Andy was actually the one who was slamming,

because he was a vegan and all that stuff. And you don't think he was the one eating all the steaks and like slam because they said when he was Tony Clifton, he could literally drink a bottle of whiskey. Yeah, I'm certain he did. Okay. Oh, I'm certain he did. Or it then, or those are the times when it was Zamuda and he would do it on purpose. Or, but Andy Kaufman was just a fucking, he knew what the bit was.

So I'm certain he did it. I'm certain that he would do it. And then he would be like sick afterwards. Oh, I would think so. But yeah, I'm certain. That would be a man. But that's the best part is that the gray area is what's so beautiful. And he truly pulled it off.

And it's very difficult to do now because you see a little bit. I've seen some people try to go full Andy Kaufman and they try to play some character and just choose you up and spit you out because there's too many eyeballs now. You can't keep up the game. No, you can't. You can't. And if you do, you're just cruising for a reason. We've seen that a couple.

I've seen that. I've had friends do that. I want to show this show. All right. I want to show this story. It's disgusting. Okay. Long time Linden minister used oral sex and exorcism ritual men claim.

A Presbyterian minister said he was following the Bible, used Native American exorcism rituals and even oral sex to extract quote unquote evil spirits for men undergoing crises in their lives. The church and men claim the so-called healing acts which date to 1999 were allegedly performed by the Reverend Dr. William Weaver, a Reverend and a doctor. Okay. A prominent Presbyterian minister who served as pastor at Linden Presbyterian church for 39 years. They were supposed to. It was just supposed to be 69 years old.

Okay. It was just supposed to schedule. It was only supposed to be an internal church trial, right? Okay. Which is people came forward with these claims and they were just going to fire him if he ended up being, which is the charges were multiple acts of idolatry and sexual misconduct because he would give people gems and tell them they would help them with basically fight evil spirits. Okay.

So this was grown men that were being victims. You're not children? Oh, yeah. These are full-on grown men. Interesting. But doesn't that show the power of the cult-like mentality? Because obviously we just talked about the children of God. It was usually kids that were molested and raped.

But here, these grown men. You just get slowly pulled in. You see here this guy, AJ Meeker, one of the men claiming to have been sexually abused by Weaver. Again, all of this is a claimed sexual predator. We don't know yet if he is. He's not been proven guilty in a court of law. So Meeker, he's 37, when he was 20, he began seeing Weaver as a counselor, right? So he would say, basically, according to him, he said, I've dealt with abandonment issues, depression, and anxiety that this has caused, right?

And so he was dealing with all of this shit. And he had this favorite Bible verse that he used to say that was, Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stain against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground.

But after you've done everything, stand. This whole thing is happening in New Jersey? So what they would sort of do every Wednesday, this is in Jersey. Every meeting with Weaver began the same way, Meeker said. The minister told him to entrust completely and lie on the bed. Then he placed an angel coin, a coin with an angel or saint, printed on it for use for praying on Meeker's forehead. Then he wrapped a magnetic strip around his head to keep it in place.

Weaver then would place a series of stones on both of Meeker's feet, his hands on the left side and right side of his chest. I was told that for him to get everything out of me, I needed to lay completely still to not move the stones on my feet, so he could keep them in position. He would then take out the feather and scan my body from my neck to my stomach. Weaver, who looks like the old man from the Six Flags cartoons, then open Six Flags commercials.

Weaver then opened Meeker's mouth, places own mouth on top of Meeker's and moved his tongue around to see if I have anything in my mouth. Then the interaction became sexual with Weaver engaging in oral sex. He would then ingest my ejaculate and would spit up multiple pieces of plastic or metal into a zip-back bag to see. Here, these are the hits. He called them spirit hits. Then he asked Weaver about the necessity of the oral part of the ritual. He said, do you do this on women?

Weaver said, well, everything would come out of the woman's navel. Every 30 days, their cycle would clear them out. Oh, I see. It makes all the sense in the world. That's actually very similar to what the doctors did to cure Andy Kaufman's cancer as well. They do the little trick, pull out a bunch of chicken guts, and they're like, we got it, but that's not the way it works. There's a much longer story attached to this, so you should probably check it out if you want to be disgusted,

but basically now they're trying to get him in jail. Okay, but now we have a situation here. This is going to be interesting, so everyone is over 18. You're being manipulated. Yeah, if you're a lawyer or just someone who knows about this, email us, side stories lpotl at gmail.com. It goes so far in the manipulation, and he has such a power position in the minds of these people that he has full control over this scenario,

even though these people are doing it willingly, but it's still unwillingly. It is always unwillingly, because it's coming from somebody who's got a lot more power over you, especially psychologically. These people have total control. You get to do whatever you want. He went in there basically saying, show me how I can feel better, and he said, this is how you feel better. The guy didn't walk in there and be like, I heard if you suck it. I heard you suck it, my dick will be great.

Yeah, that'd be a different story, because then the priest would be scared. Right, right, right, right. We also got to reach out to you by the director of that Uncle Eddie documentary. Yeah. It's got some interesting, we're going to do a talk with Mark on Patreon so we can get the full deals, but some of the stuff that he brings up is this, I mean, he said Google Pennsylvania pedophile mafia, which sounds like a great Saturday. Oh my, I don't know what's going on between Boys Town in Ohio

and what's happening in Pennsylvania with the priest scandal. There's something in those Midwest Eastern states that are... You know I don't like dipping a toe into it too much. I don't do it too much anymore, but I'm not talking about molesting. I'm talking about the theory of that this is the secret government that literally this is the secret keeping arm of the secret government and I really do believe that there is a massive pedophile problem deeply embedded within our political system and the church and the police and all this shit and they all watch each other's back

and these are the type of people that do this shit. It's been going on since fucking the first Illuminati meeting in the Bavarian Illuminati literally in 1776. This shit is just... It is just built into government. Yeah, well it's not really a conspiracy. That is absolutely true. There is a child sex pipeline. Without a doubt, the underground black economy is really disgusting when it comes to child sexual slavery.

You're right. Well let's talk about... This is actually a perfect segue to this little email. Speaking of the underground just sort of child sex trade, obviously oftentimes these kids come from broken homes. They go into these places seeking refuge and help and seeking parental type advice and guidance. Jerry Sandusky.

Look no further than Jerry Sandusky for the worst of the worst when it comes to exploiting these poor children. We got an email. So this is coming in from... I'll just call her E. She says she has a couple of friends who are corrections officers over at the Laurel Highlands State Prison. And of course she asked them about Sandusky.

That's where he's staying and so they watch over him. She says basically he's in an isolated area, no contact to other inmates, showers privately, and apparently looks like he's aged about 100 years since he's been incarcerated. Even the CO's don't really interact with him. So he's basically left in total isolation with even small conversations being a rare thing.

So he's not getting sexually assaulted. However, he is also lonely, miserable, and doing horribly. So there you go. A little update on what his life is like in prison, solitary confinement, it sounds like 24-7. I mean, honestly, he is buried alive. He's just gonna wait to die. But what he did, it's...

He's very lucky he gets to be isolated. He's very fucking lucky. Yeah. A couple other updates. Number one, I actually got an update from someone who owns a cleaning service that said last week when we said the last official side story. Yes.

We said that people break into your house and they can clean your home. The guy that cleaned the person's homes and left their toilet paper rose. Yes. Two updates on that. One, a lady who owns a cleaning service said they've had...

She's had her people, her cleaning people, accidentally clean the wrong house before. She said it has happened. Really? Yes, she says it has happened, which I think is very interesting. I mean, I got this other email from a J. They said, I was a public defender for several years

and want to let you know that toilet paper roses are a fine art of the California state prison system. I love it. I once did a trial of longtime felon enduring jury deliberations. He created an entire bouquet of TP roses for me, which is... That's very interesting,

because I was found inside of that home. Exactly, exactly. So maybe it was someone, perhaps a former prisoner who was just trying to do the best job possible they just got hired as a cleaning person, accidentally committed, accidentally broke into a home and cleaned it. And, you know, that would just be the worst

if this person really was trying to rehabilitate and they accidentally ended up breaking and entering and they'd just be like, I was just trying to clean. I am trying to bring beauty to the world. Who knows, but yes, very interesting. Okay, and I want to read this one letter from H. Okay.

I want to read this because... Let's get creepy for a second. Oh, this is the haunted one. Yeah, this is creepy. Honestly, these are the kind of letters we absolutely love and they're nice and short, keep it concise so we can just kind of blurb it out, but this is awesome.

I grew up in Houston, Texas. In 2005, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, but before that, it was supposed to level the suburbs of Houston I lived in. For a year beforehand, I'd been dealing with what my parents referred to as flukes. I used to sleep in the dark until one night, I woke up with a seven-foot-tall black figure

in the corner of my room. It's Ben Kissel. No, it's not. It is not. I'm not there. I was paralyzed with fear and believed myself to be the victim of hypnagogic hallucination until I experienced several other paranormal experiences

in my childhood home, such as a light bulb and my lamp exploding, my radio playing itself at will, including changes in volume, and foul smells emanating from my room. I've seen all of this inside of Ben Kissel's hotel room. What is going on with you? When Hurricane Katrina was supposed to level our home,

I was grateful to go to my Aunt Billy's house in San Antonio. I was up late at night on the phone with a friend when I decided to get a drink from the fridge. On my way back, I walked through the dark hallway and walked smack dab into my Aunt Billy, or so I thought. When I walked into her, quote unquote, it felt like two positively charged batteries were meeting.

It felt like hitting a brick wall and then being repelled off of it. After I stepped back and realized what happened, the thing shrank back into a sphere. It bounced off the floor, hit the ceiling, and then disappeared. After this, I was mortified. I was sent home from school for exhaustion.

I suffered from hallucinations due to lack of sleep, and it continued even as an adult to sleep with the lights on. Even after performing a ceremony that dispelled the entity from entering my life again, I have no idea what entered my life for that year and a half. And the name of this email was It Follows Real Life. Whoa, thank you for that email, my God. Very creepy.

Those are the real life experiences we love to hear about here on Side Story. I love this shit. I also got a really good email about the dream I had about Marcus. Yes, this was a great synopsis of your dream. Might as well just close out email corner with that, because for those that don't recall, Henry had a dream about Marcus where Marcus started to seizure, and then all of a sudden, a little pinkish man came out of his mouth.

And so the dream synopsis actually came back from a listener, and I think they might be onto something. Yeah, this is pretty sweet. This comes from a dude. He runs a podcast called Knowing My Nightmares. There's a couple of these, also a still sleeping podcast, which is a lot of dream interpretation podcasts. I didn't know how many there would be.

I didn't know that either. Basically, my dream of being at work and seeing Marcus seizing a little pink man from his mouth is a sign from your subconscious that you're working too hard, and that you're also aware of how hard Marcus is working. His seizure shows that you've noticed he's under a lot of stress. The little pink man is just some fucked up manifestation of the information Marcus is producing.

Love it. So that's one, right? And he said, let's call little man Radamanthus. Rad, for sure. I know. Now, is there any reason to call him? No, I don't know. It's fun.

All right. This is very interesting. He said, the dream that makes sense is at work. He said, it makes sense because you accidentally had a day off as you had stated. And to dream that you're at work indicates that you're experiencing some anxiety about a current project or task. It's just called work.

We're just constantly under pressure. Your dream may also be telling you that you need to get back to work, which is true. Honestly. Next, you saw Marcus seizing, and then he spits up a little man. To dream about your best friend means that you need to foster or acknowledge some special quality that your best friend has, which I do.

Of course. He is very special. He is very special. You said that he feel like I noticed that he's having trouble with stress. I don't know. You know, maybe. Maybe.

He asked for the little pink man. It could be man a station of information coming from Marcus. And because it's small, he could be feeling self-conscious about the information he's providing. But I won't say that. I don't know what Marcus is thinking. No, I don't think so. But that is wonderful.

Thank you so much for that. And I know a lot of people say the pink man, according to still sleeping podcast, they say that the big man represents an ectoplasm or representation of the soul. This is true. They believe that it may be things of bits of truth that I am not willing to understand, which is why I'm also laughing at it, which I think is very, very interesting.

There is also another interpretation that was almost too spot on for me to read. All right. There it is. I cannot tell you how many times I have dreams that are just dream-like enough, but it feels like I am at work. Isn't that weird? I mean, we just do this.

This is our whole lives. So yes, it's hard for the brain to just be like, what aren't you doing right now? Exactly. What are you supposed to be doing? Well, let's do a hero of the week. It's a hero of the week. All right.

This week's hero. I don't think we've had a hero like this of the reptilian kind. It's about, we're going to Gainesville, Florida. By the way, what are we going to Florida, Henry? Don't we have to go to Florida at some point here in the near future? It's on the fucking docket. We are coming to Florida. Absolutely.

It must happen. We love you all out there. So in Gainesville, Florida, a hungry alligator crashed a picnic date by a Florida lake and gobbled down a bunch of their food. Taylor Forte had planned a picnic Thursday for her fiancé, Trevor Walters at Lake Alice before Walters was going to leave the Marines, which is very sad that this is kind of ruined by this alligator, but also it's a good story.

So what happened was this alligator strolls up just like a drunk Ben kiss. I'll just be like, y'all having a picnic, huh? That's a real interesting idea. Eating outside is that right? Yum, yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum.

Yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum. Jeez. Then it had some salami, then it had a half a watermelon, then it ate a pound of grapes, eating just like a real Roman king. Oh, yeah, dude. And then the worst part, according to Trevor Walters was

watching the gater consume a big bowl of guacamole. He said the reptile devoured the whole bowl and the man wanted to scare the gator away, so he made himself look bigger, spreading his arms and making noises, the gator crawled back into the water. So that is the hero of the week because I love the idea of a gator just being like, oh yes, avocado bread.

I hope these tariffs don't go through. I love avocado. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Honestly, yeah, I mean, the description of the picnic makes me very hungry. Yes, I mean, this was romantic. You got cheese, you got salami, you got grapes, you got watermelon, and you got guacamole.

Oh, they were gonna have sex after this. Yes, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Little pink, I just, I miss my little man. Your little pink little man, you wanna dream about him some more?

I miss my little man. Well, we can get you one. Remember when you used to go to the old, turn the dial, put a quarter in, turn a dial, and get a toy machines? Yeah, I remember those, man. Pending machines, I think they may be called. Yeah, I remember, I guess that's what it's called.

They had the little, remember the little pink guys, you could get the little fighters, they were blue and pink. They were stretchy guys. Yeah, sometimes they were stretchy. I used to put them on my penis. So, are we going bad? No, it's not bad, it's fine, you did that to your,

but then everyone else. You never did that, you remember the gooey hands? No, I'm not talking about gooey hands, but I guess I- But I used to put ones that stick to the wall. Yes, I never put those on my penis. No, because they got filthy, those became the street.

As soon as you swapped it on anything, it just took all of the dust and all of the grime. Those got so nasty so fast, and the fact that you would put that near- More all the time. Near your area of stens. I seem to remember specifically, I'd go for when it was new.

I would frickin' hope so, Henry, because unless you wanted to hump the pavement, like someone was doing an alive like video I watched last night for no frickin' reason. I mean, you know, you're just researching. Well, I was looking for side story, I was looking for last street by the left videos, and there was just one video of this man

with his pants down violently humping the sidewalk, and then the guy was like, what are you doing? And he pulled up his pants and he had a huge erection, but he was mentally just, he was not all there. So I- What? Yeah, it wasn't so much like that.

No way. It's funny, it was more like, man, that guy needs to go get on meds again. That guy needs a vacation from his vacation. I guess so, he was violently humping the concrete with just bare dick, and I don't even want to know the road rash, that must have occurred on that man's genitalia, but.

I've been a lonely man. Yeah, you ever hump the sidewalk? You ever do that? You're humping gravel now? I need it to be soft. Yeah, I should hope so. I need it to be soft. If you go anything harder than dirt,

you're really asking, you're cruisin' for a bruising on that one. Yeah, it's just, you know, it's like the people who have sex with railroad stations, which we talked about last week a little bit. We're just being like, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. We're only bringing you the most important information.

It's just the most important show on the internet. This is it. The most important news. We're keeping you up to date. Everybody loves it. I mean, we just, we're all crucial. It's us in Pod Save America, saving people, man. Those three brave white men on Pod Save America,

I'm certain that people love their perfect hair, and I thought I saw some of them wearing moccasins. I don't know, man. And they really needed not. They needed not. They need better shoes. I don't criticize anybody's show. It's good for them for doing the art,

but I'm going to say Abel against Top Hat is better. I'm just going to say it. I've listened to it because it's a little bit like, they're not, they kind of forgot how the people think there because they were like, we're in the White House and we know all these powerful people. And I'm like, I don't care because I know those same people. They don't, I've seen, I have seen.

They don't care about you. They really do. No, they don't care. But the senators, all the people, those rich people to hang out with, they do not care about you. They don't care. Once you hear Bill O'Reilly taking a dump next to you,

it really does change your perspective. It really does. You had a chance to get him, Kissel. I had a chance and you blew it. I should have tapped my toe under there. Because the key to really getting him, it's really not about hurting him. It's about reaching another and grabbing his ankles

and being like, this is to show you what can happen as anybody can do this to you. Just so you know, you're vulnerable. Oh God. All right, everyone. Well, thank you so much for listening. Also, obviously, Henry's got the triple L's. We got a couple of new shirts out there

on lastpodcastmerch.com. So check those out. Bones in the chocolate and a live laugh love shirt. And we have some cool news coming. Marcus is working on his rest. Marcus is working on his music podcast. I'm working on a wrestling podcast that should be out soon.

We're just figuring out. We gotta get, you know, it is funny because initially I was like, we can start tomorrow. And then it sets in. He was like, you need an intro. We have many things. We need contracts. We was like, oh, that's right.

We're not just, you know, just willy nilly here. So but that's about real soon. No, we are really, really excited. We have many, we have a couple of new shows coming out. We're really, really excited to start adding to the network. We want people to, you know, hopefully like our shit. Hopefully like our content. Yeah, I mean, it's just gonna be us.

So if you like, if you like us at our side stories, if you, I don't know what people say, whatever. I don't, if you don't like me at my side stories, then you won't deserve me at my rap. I don't know Henry. It's okay, man. It's okay. It's okay.

We did our best today. Thank you. We did our best. I'm still psyched out by the stewardess that I saw. He was telling me how she knows human noise and she sees UFOs everywhere. She's the first person I've heard make sense this week. I'll say that.

Jewel, she flies for Delta. She is incredible. I want her flights every time, give her a promotion. She truly, she was actually absolutely wonderful. Yeah, she had her eye in the ballroom. I was so exhausted, Henry. This is going to surprise you. So tired.

I just had two coffees on the flight and slept. Wow. Good for you. I always do my little drinks because sometimes they go a little nervous or flying. And I'm just like, you know what? My sleep, I'm so tired. I can't even be nervous.

Lord, take the wheel. That's what you gotta say. Lord, take the wheel. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Triple L, baby. Uh-oh. You got to.

Got to. Are you going to say it? That's the idea. I did triple L. But I think you have to say it. That's what I got for today. You're not going to say live. Do I have to do this?

Live? Live every day. Like it's like it's a one day to live. Like you got, you got, it is one day to live. You're right. See, sometimes it takes two people. And that's what love is. Love is two people getting through the rap out of a show.

Just desperately getting through the rap out of a show. And laughing, laughing is the, is the, ah. It's like barking for people. Absolutely. All right, everyone. Thank you for listening. We'll see you in Australia very soon. Hail yourselves.

Hail Saxon. I'm a ghost of lesions. See dirty fucking bitches. Well, no, no need to end like that. I love my dirty bitches. Of course. We love all of our pay, all of our fans and listeners. Hey, what's up, everyone?

I am Ben Kissel and I'm with Marcus Parks. Hi, Ben. We're going to talk to you a little bit about Abe Lincoln's Top At. It's the political show that Marcus and I are going to talk about. It's the political show that Marcus and I do. It's a lot of fun. If you want to get up to date on the weekly news of politics, check out the show.

You know, I think you'll like it. I think you'll like it. We're reasonable. We're reasonable people. We're fine people. We're fine people. So that's good. So check it out because there is a lot to unpack.

And hopefully it helps you get through your week. So hail yourselves, everyone. Thanks for listening. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.