Last Podcast On The Left - The Gud Pud PUDcast: Episode 0 - This is Podcasting
Episode Date: July 14, 2024From the delicious minds who brought you Last Podcast on the Left, Side Stories, Page 7, and more... comes a brand new podcast unlike any other... The Gud Pud Pudcast. Join The Zebrowski siblings, Hen...ry and Jackie Zebrowski on their journey as they climb their way up the rankings in the world of celebrity power siblings with their brand new show The Gud Pud Pudcast (Available Now - Wherever you listen to your podcasts). Here's a complimentary episode on us!Episode 0 - This is podcasting. And it is deadly serious. Henry and Jackie Zebrowski launch their new media venture to very bravely address the uncomfortable topics affecting us all. And eat pudding.Subscribe today on Spotify, Apple, and anywhere you listen!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Music You don't think I'm too much?
That's what they've been telling me since the day I was born.
Let's begin.
That's a perfect way to start.
I'm glad we're starting and I am excited. Hey, I'm ready for some
PUD. I've got my Mariah Carey hat on and I am here for the emancipation of Mimi.
I feel like she has been kept in a cage for too long. You are already missing what
we got to do here, Jackie. This is... What's wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? This is podcasting. Yeah. Blech! Yeah.
No, I'm here for the PUD. I think it's PUDcasting. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha There is no chat. There is no emojis. There's no bitmojis. There's no upvotes. There's no subs.
This is podcasting and it is deadly serious.
Wait a second. Wait. So this, so we're doing this just with no fun?
Absolutely no fun. We're talking about important issues. My name is Henry Zaprowski.
I don't want issues
Too much fun you're having too much fun already I came in with all my food energy and I'm sitting here with my sister comedian
actress and
Large hat model. Thank you. Jackie's a brown. Thank you
Well, they said I had to put the headphones on and I said I hate you
Currently if you are not watching this on YouTube first of all, what's wrong with you? Yeah, they said I had to put the headphones on. And I said, I hate the headphones. Currently, if you are not watching this on YouTube,
first of all, what's wrong with you?
Yeah, what's wrong with you? We look so good.
We look fine.
But Jackie has a hat on.
I have a hat on!
She does?
I have a hat on!
Jackie has a hat on, and her hat makes her look
like a difficult woman at the airport.
Yeah, I did threaten to burn down this studio.
You did say several times I will not be detained. Yes. I will not be detained.
You forced me into this room and I hate this room and I don't know why you invited me
into this. I'm not supposed to be in this space. You should be so lucky to be in the
eye of the hurricane. I'm puking. This is the Mecca of LPN. We're inside the last podcast. I ain't getting out of no ground or nothing.
No, I don't want you to. No, because I don't want you to. Well you want me to kiss you? You want me to kiss you?
No, no. I kiss the microphone. I kiss the microphone. You're getting makeup on Ed's microphone.
I just did sorry, Ed. I guess you better get Maybelline'd, you fuck.
You are insulting a man, a pillar of a man, of this community. I'm sorry, maybe he was born with it.
Alright, I mean, it's not. He wasn't. No, it is makeup. But I don't want you to get on the ground because I don't want you to get your leg makeup all over the ground
I know I know you normally cover your gray
Elvintine like skin
No, but you cannot sully this this is a podcasting a real
Podcast am I gonna be a pirate? No, he was a plane. Yeah, that was a plane one. Yes. Yes, but you guys
Important fuse goes pirate one remember when he was on the plane. He's like I am Tom Hanks
And you will not take the boat. He's not on a plane. He's on a boat. It's Captain Phillips
I am the captain now dog
I'm the captain no you are bringing in that is another thing
You're bringing in the writer movie with Sean Connery
Sean yeah, that is what you when you say dog that is Sean Connery was my
Accento just so on point. They were like is he in the room get out of here. What do you want?
But I only know Sean Connery is in the room when I'm hearing a lady getting slapped over and over again.
Sometimes you're gonna hear a woman-
Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap.
Whoa, Sean, hey, whoa, hey, leave her alone, hey.
I mean, look at my hat. This hat is begging for a punchin'.
I didn't say it.
Henry's thinking it. Every time he looks me in the eyes, he goes,
Oh, if I could just-
But we're doing something different here.
I'm sorry, you want me to take it down?
We're doing something different here. It's subtle, you want me to take it down? We're doing something different here.
It's subtle.
It's a PUDcast, okay?
What PUDcasts do, right?
Well, you guys don't know, you don't know Jackie, all right?
Is that real podcasts talk about hardcore political issues?
So wait, you want to turn Good PUD into a political podcast?
I don't want to.
No, I don't want to.
The people are making us.
Oh, I forgot. Everyone's been screaming.
You know, every morning I wake up, I hear like,
We want your thoughts on Biden.
And I'm like, okay.
Everyone asks, what's your thoughts on Biden?
And honestly, I fasten my Mimi hat to my head
and I go, well, get me to the Supreme Court
because I've got a bill.
She has no idea. And I say got a bill. Yes, no idea.
And I say, pay me $8,000.
I'm just saying, podcasts are not about fun.
It's not about joking.
All right, it's about-
Is that why you brought me into the big, this is the last podcast room?
Yeah, so that you can experience what it's like.
We got plants up.
Rob did that.
We got plants set up so you can see how serious we are now.
That's how you make things more serious. You just add a plant. Yep and we do gotcha
journalism. The key is we're gonna get high end. Are you gonna grab me? No. Ew is this like
Halloween Horror Nights and you get a grab though? No I don't. I'm just saying we're
gonna get hardcore guests in here like Mitch McConnell. We're gonna put him to
the screws. Right? We're gonna get... Is that the one like he dresses like the clown for McDonald's.
Yes. And he does a good job.
I think he keeps kids up in that Hamburglar Palace.
I mean, honestly, that's where they should that's where they should be.
That's where they want to be. We're going to talk about really important things like
covid in cancel culture.
We're going to talk about Biden.
We're going to talk about everything.
Everybody's favorite. We're going to talk about Biden and we're going to talk about everything's everybody's favorite.
We're going to talk about the top 100 murderers of comedians in the world and
inside back baseball talk about how the sausage gets made.
Wow. And sometimes you just think like, I just think he's all mashed up into a
two. Yep. And, but not only we can hoops and lips and assholes.
And not only can talk about some of the hottest craziest
In-depth topics that you guys have been clamoring to hear us about talk about we're also gonna be obviously eating pudding
What's like your favorite politic like what's like my favorite?
Thing to politics if I were to politic I wish that every child could have a gun. Wow.
That's number one I think every child should be issued a gun.
How would they carry it or do you strap it to them?
Put it in their diaper.
Oh good.
And if the diapies fall down, duct tape them back up?
Honestly, it's no longer concealed, is it?
No.
So now Jackie, what's your favorite politic?
I guess if I were to have a politic, I think that it probably has to do something with
making big hats. Hats need to be bigger and I look at myself. You know if you make a big enough hat a
person isn't homeless anymore. Because then they can live inside of their hat.
It's a yurt. Henry write to the president of Los Angeles and say all these
houseless out here give them a hat. I'm writing the princess Karen Bass
Karen Bass can you please make a bucket hat to hold all of the children
yeah I think that maybe it's because I just thought about me having a big hat
and that's what I thought about and maybe I know that I know that that is why you did that why you said you have not had a single
Yep, you become a seal or I become a seal or I
Like I'll read a paper. You know, what's my favorite politic? Honestly?
Termina werewolf. Oh
Please that politics. I mean between that and like a vampiric council somewhere if you need a bitch on a vampiric council, I'm there
I don't know you're unfortunately Jackie
S'attem'o flem!
I-
S'attem'o flem!
Unfortunately, if you joined a vampire council, you'd just be like the snooki
Where's the beach? But they're like come back inside
You are a vampire. You must not look for the beach. You drunk bitch. This is too silly. I'm sorry
It's politics. I I you know again top one. I want to see Biden hula hoop
You want to see the jowls jiggle? Yeah
Yep, give him the jig. I want to see Jill Biden's
Just just the tits I want to see Jill Biden's tits.
Just just the tits. I saw Melania's.
Dr. Jill Biden.
I saw Melania's.
I saw Melania's.
I think it's only fair we get to see hers.
Yeah, honestly, I feel like they should do that on Inauguration Day rather than like
almost like the Simba, like where they lift up.
But then they just show the breasts of their first lady or the first gentleman.
That's what I was saying to Natalie the other day is that not only believe in her, she just show the breasts of their first lady or the first gentleman.
That's what I was saying to Natalie the other day is that not only believe in her, she was having a bit of an issue. She was having some issues. And I said,
I believe in you so wholeheartedly that I know you're going to be the first lady
president. Wow. And I am going to be,
cause I told her every day every day I wake her up from a dead sleep and I say, don't worry. Wow. And I am going to be, cause I told her every day, every day
I wake her up from a dead sleep and I say, don't let him be president. Yes. I say, you're
going to be president. And then I say, don't let them dampen your shine. Wow. Because she's
wet to the touch. She is got more shine than she should, but I'm just still saying don't
let them dampen it. You know what I mean? I told her, don't let her dampen it because
again, I'm her coach in our home
Yeah, and that's a part of things we're gonna talk about here on good
But good put guess is gonna be it's gonna cover the lexicon of every important fucking subject that's ever been like Henry becoming
John Candy to Natalie's cool running. We're gonna talk about bird flu
Yep, because man when those birds come a beak beak beakingbeak-beaking around and I say, stay out of my holes, this
ain't your nest.
Nope.
And we're also going to be talking about inside baseball stuff about show business.
Jackie, tell us your biggest...
I want to know your...
And man, sometimes you can steal a base.
Now what I'd like for you to do is tell everybody first of all your most shameful hidden Hollywood secret.
Go.
Ooh, alright. Well sometimes...
Just to start, just to wet the palate, just to get them ready, just to know what's coming, just how many Barnburner,
Shannon Sharp-like things are gonna come out of this whole podcast. I want you to like name your food guy. Who's your enemy?
Oh.
Who's our enemy besides the Osmonds?
Obviously we do owe. Technically, if I see Donny Osmond, I am sort of fight. I am contractually
obligated to choke him out. Yeah. Are we anti squirrel? I think that we could be anti squirrel.
I love the squirrels. Except for the ones that hurt my couch in the backyard. Yeah. They really
go after you, Henry. Don't you feel like you're being hunted by the squirrels in your backyard? I learned from Marcus Aurelius that the strong can afford to take blows.
Is that Marcus's last name?
No, he's not a Greek.
He's not Greek.
It makes sense.
He's very pale.
Very pale.
Very pale.
Very thin flaxen hair.
I just think that, you know, you skin a squirrel once and it's like ah shame on me
and then if they keep showing up at my door. This is your Hollywood secret? Shame on them! So your Hollywood secret is that
you're saying your shameful Hollywood secret is that you have skinned a squirrel. It's just they look at you and they go
I would be better if I had less and I'm like less what less nuts less brains
I have no idea what she's talking about is less skin and I gave it to him and sometimes when a squirrel asks you
You give it. Yeah. All right. Okay, and that's what we're gonna learn here. What is your most shameful?
Hollywood secret Leonardo DiCaprio told me I work too hard
And that you were too gentle and kind I care too much. That's what he said. He said stop crushing me. Did he ask you your age as well to see if he could date you? Him and Jonah Hill begged me to slow my
rule because I was overshadowing them. Both of them. Wow. And that's honestly one
of my biggest regret is that I let that happen. And I didn't just take the fucking horse.
And I shouldn't have taken that whole fucking horse.
Called Wolf.
And I should have rode that horse called Wolf.
For forever.
And I should have been the one.
I don't think you belong on a horse.
No.
Although you look like you could don one right now.
Get up there saddle man.
No I don't want to. Oh wow. Give him
a rope. He's already fall that. That is my second biggest Hollywood secret is that I'm
violently allergic to horses. Allergic or you just hate them. I tell show business I'm
allergic. Whoa. That's how you got to do it. That's the only way lies. I mean you do definitely
have to lie. I did lie and said that I could ride a bike and then I got a job where I had to ride a bike. Yep. And
I say I same thing happened to me. Told them I could ride a scooter. Never tell the truth
ever to anyone. No, they had to change mine into a rickshaw instead. Interesting. Production
loved it. You know what it is honestly is that I don't mean this in a remotely negative way Oh, you're gonna be fun. You have the back of a rickshaw driver. Thank you
You mean rippling with muscles, you're right
My muscles every woman wants to hear how thick her back is
How well it is how good it is for a haul and weight.
I mean honestly if you looked at me and went
good hauler. Isn't that anything
I've always dreamed of?
What do you think Jeff did? He knew.
Now guys the one thing that we can't
unfortunately not do
during this process is that we must eat pudding.
Puds up! Now normally there is no chat here.
Put your puds up! There's no puds up in the chat.
There's nobody remotely encouraging us to do this.
So why do it if no one's even watching us do it?
Because it's the show and if we don't, we're absolutely hypocrites.
And they're gonna come for us.
They're gonna nail us to a wall.
They're gonna do what they did to us, what they did to Hunter Biden.
What are we supposed to do?
And honestly at the same time, Hunter Biden is awesome.
Isn't he just doing meth and like having fun?
Honestly, I'm jealous of him.
It sounds like he's having a great time.
Hunter Biden is my favorite person.
Whoa.
You know who I ship every day?
Chet Banks.
No, you know who I ship every day?
Hunter Biden, Lauren Boebert.
Wow.
They would go all the way to the top.
So this is the kind of thing we're
talking about on this putt-kust.
The good putt-kust.
Oh, OK.
But we're also going to be eating pudding like this pudding that we have to actually
be in and sucking cock, right?
Yeah.
I love her.
Hey, she's a meter.
Heavy meter.
I'll make her.
All right.
Wow.
All right.
So in this loose plastic bag, I want to stay on top of my can.
Yeah.
Well, hey, tell me.
Well, there's no one here. There's no audience. I don't want to be
I don't want you in here. This is the only time we're doing this everything is covered like what do you do in here?
It's called it's called effort all right. It's here. It's built everywhere all right. Don't touch anything
This is the last time I'll ever allow you in here. Kiss the microphone.
You're settling it.
You're already, your sister-like ovaries are ruining this room.
Yeah, can you feel my ovaries in here?
Yeah, you hear them going, whee, whee, whee.
Ugh, they're always crying like a baby.
And I say, there's no babies in here.
You better shut your ear up and there's no babies in it.
They're ghosts, babies that never were.
Ugh, and they love partying. So, we're forced to eat this pudding and we're gonna do it right now and we're gonna eat cheesesteak pudding.
Now according to Sam our producer
Oh no!
She said that she did not have the, what she said, moral courage to put the cheese whiz on top of this before we ate it because
just you didn't want to. Unfortunately I did order this whiz with so we're gonna
eat it with the whipped cream cheese topping. Hold the podcast. You, she told you she
wasn't gonna put cheese whiz in it. Yes, and so then you took the time to go out. Oh no, she brought she gave me
Okay, the easy squeeze. She gave me the easy squeeze knowing that I would put it on it
You know
So now I'm gonna open up this pudding inside of this very small room
And the reason why we're doing this is just as an example of what we're gonna be doing here in good Pudkist
There's so many different episodes. you're gonna see a lot of,
we're gonna be talking a lot about your favorite issues.
We're gonna be talking about genocide.
We're gonna be talking about human trafficking.
We're gonna be talking about weather control.
We're gonna be talking about,
is a hot dog a sandwich?
There's a lot of questions we're gonna ask.
And honestly, climate change, why are we holding it back?
Why can't we just let it change?
Let it change.
He, itself. All right, there's a lot of questions just let it change? Let it change. He, himself.
There's a lot of questions we're going to...
A lot of hot takes in the future.
Because everybody's been asking us what our big time opinions are on these subjects.
And that is what we're doing here.
We're doing it in an entertaining way, but also real, relatable, hardcore, with courage,
without holding back.
Yeah man, without holding back. Yeah, man, without holding back.
And by the end of this episode,
I'm gonna eat these plants.
I think I'm gonna end up eating the plants.
I'll go, I see you, I see you, what is that?
They're literally, it's pure cancer-crusing plastic.
All right, here we go.
How do I know what's inside of the pud?
Ooh, wow, that already, yep, I'm already inside of a,
oh, man, oh. Does it make you think of Eddie's armpits when he worked at the cheesesteak? This is really not good
This is gonna be not good for it to waft all the way over for those of you to see this is much thinner than
Normal it is the same
It is the same gray color that every base of every one of these meat ones have been
It's the same great color. It is the same gray color that every base of every one of these meat ones have been. It's the same gray color, it is the same exact color.
It is a different pudding though.
It's a very, utterly different pudding.
It is just, but it definitely has the same odor almost as every other one we've ever
had.
You know what it is about the Easy Squeeze?
I am, and I'm a lover of American cheese.
You don't like Easy Squeeze?
I'm not an Easy Squeeze because of the I mean I'm gonna eat it
But it's because of the texture of it see I like if it's like mixed in if it's with other things
I just really worry all right texture of it mixed with the thin
Cheese steak pudding that I'm about to put into my mouth
That's so much!
That's fucking- It's a cheese stick!
It's mostly cheese!
Right? So we're gonna have to eat some of this.
Just, guys, remember why we're doing this.
We're doing this because we're trying to relate to you.
This is for, like, I literally had our 60 plus year old agent ask us,
why aren't we trying to approach the 12 to 15 year old markets?
Yeah, that's why we're getting into putt-casting.
We're getting into putt-casting because we know the kids love putt-casting because I don't know why.
To be honest, I don't know why. Because it's an old person's behavior.
I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry, millennials. But you know it.
What, listening to podcasts?
Yes.
I mean, that's why we don't know anything about it.
But that's why. Yes, because we're so young.
We're young. I'm so vibrant.
I, to be honest, they were so surprised that I was not pre-diabetic.
They were so surprised that I was insulted.
I'm impressed by you.
I'm not pre-diabetic.
Good for you.
Not yet.
Not yet.
You wait until this.
For this special edition of The Good Podcast, this is episode
zero, we're just getting you in there. I would like for you to, we're going to try it at
the same time. So I'm getting a big, yes it is, it is similar, more similar to a soup.
It is definitely sort of falling, falling. No, I don't want this anywhere on this table.
Do not let this go on this, our brand new table.
Oh, don't let it get on the table. It's our brand new table.
If you don't, don't do it.
It smells.
Don't you?
It's not good.
Oh, it smells.
But Adam said it's going to be the same as bad as the rest of them.
So belly up.
I want everyone to know that there is cheese was and I took a big chunk of cheese.
Yes.
A big chunk of cheese was on this.
This is cheesesteak pudding with the onions and the peppers.
Let's get up in it.
That's not good.
Oh, Ashberry's bad.
Oh, one day we're going to make one of these.
It's really going to go.
Man, oh, there's a...
I need to puke.
Honestly?
I like the peppers. I like the peppers. I like the peppers.
I like the peppers.
The peppers saves it.
I like the onions.
I like the onions and the peppers.
For me, unfortunately, it was the big old glob of squeezy cheese.
You don't like squeezy cheese?
I know that squeezy cheese helps it.
I told you.
It's the texture.
So I could feel it go up and down.
It's the same as any other cheese.
It's the same as any other liquid cheese. It's like a yeah
It's a liquid cheese
Actually, I want more no, I'm supposed to go to the doctor after this
Yeah, you are supposed to get your supposed to go get my blood checked after this
Because I went the last week to get the one... alright this is really where the good
podcast is because last week I went to get my blood pressure checked and she
said it was horrifying. Oh. And so I had to come back. Oh this is the check?
Oh yeah no this is the final exam. Henry you should be meditating right now. I am watch.
Henry! Henry think about all of your responsibilities. Oh I am.
No, you're supposed to be able to like push them away.
Yeah, that's what everybody says.
That's what meditation does.
Everyone says, then you can see it and you push it away.
And I, I do tell you, like you let the floats go by.
You gotta let the floaters go.
You gotta let them floaters go.
No, I see them and I go, get back here, get back here.
And I wrestle them down the floor and I go, grr, grr, grr, grr.
I can see why you have the hat.
Because the hat really points you towards a more, I go, GRRR! GRRR! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR See we've had other puddings and you'll see they have way more of an intense reaction from us because
This is really it really is saved by the peppers and the onions
I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be smaller. This is a subtle podcast Jackie. All right now tell me being subtle. Yes. Oh, yeah
Now tell me What do you think about COVID?
No fun.
Yep.
And I...
I am more like, no, Vid.
No, thank you, Vid.
Yeah, no, thank you, Vid.
I would say that.
I would definitely say that.
I have...
Is it a hoax?
I don't...
I have had it, I think, six or seven times.
Yeah. So if all of them were hoaxes, good on ya. Yeah, good on ya. I don't, I have had it, I think six or seven times.
So if all of them were hoaxes, good on ya.
Yeah, good on ya.
Like you're really good at pretending
to be like a sick. That's a good ass hoax.
And you were really good at making me feel bad.
And we're gonna hit all of,
what Jackie, when's the last time you saw someone
absolutely murder at the store?
Ooh, you mean without a mask on?
It's been months.
I mean comedy.
And I mean at the comedy store.
Oh, oh, man, I love going.
Who's your big ups? Who's your Mount Rushmore of standups?
I guess it's Mariah Carey.
Do you not look, did you not see who I'm repping right now?
You just call her a stand up because she does happen to stand up a right.
Literally, I think that she actually is always kept with her legs fully like out and prone
so that she can just be stood up.
Yes.
I think that she's like taped down so that she's a bit of like a mummification.
I want this.
Everyone says like, why would you like her?
Why would you like her?
Every single thing I hear, she won't walk to the stage.
She has to be wheeled on a wheelie chair.
Why?
Because she doesn't want to.
That's the best excuse I've ever heard.
She doesn't.
That's the best excuse I've ever heard.
Never look her in the eye.
You will get fired.
I tell you what, they get super mad when you hop on one of those wheelchairs outside of the plane.
Yeah, now they do, man. They get super mad. Back in the day, though, that you used to...
Oh, it was just a free-for-all back then. Yeah, but they get super clingy with that shit.
They're super possessive over these wheelchairs.
Because I went in, I hopped on one just because I wanted to go, whee!
I wanted to go, wah! But then they were like, were like I'm sorry mr. Aju Balanian needs it
I was like well, I'm sorry aju balanian is not fucking I'm not mr. Aju balanian now and they're like yeah
This is mr. Aju balanian and I saw a mess like this. Yeah, and then I yeah I came
I brought my skateboard in you know always do gots to just in the sea that I have one
Yeah, and then they then I met mr. Aju Balaji and and he was very old but I fuck him
Yeah, you just strap him to the plane like my daughter my daughter
My daughter and I was been like we all got fucking daughters, dude
I got two of them their names car me and Wendy and they are chihuahua mixes and I love them
Yeah, man, they sniff about the town. Yeah,. So guess what? Yeah, I am a girl dad
Wow, I always am like
Henry, I can't wait to see you at the tea sway with Wendy just so upset. Just fucking take her to that
Why? You're going to bikini kill. Oh man, you are a cool dad. Yeah
Wow, I'm not going into that. We're not gonna go worship that Aryan princess. Do I need to start reading the news? Yes
First thing I start with is the horoscopes
Then I go straight to the entertainment section. Oh, yeah, cuz well the entertainer
So this has been the intro episode of The Good Fit Gist. Expect this and so much more.
Expect this.
This level.
Yeah, don't actually.
Inspect this.
This is what you really should expect. Maybe we'll get better at being smaller.
Hasn't happened in 36 years!
Hey listen, I've gotten better at film acting as you can see. Look.
Momma no!
Oh god!
Momma no! I god! Mama no!
I am brought to tears!
Mama no!
And I say no milk in here!
See, I know how to act.
There's not a live audience.
And that's kind of, you know what I do?
I just imagine laughter.
Can we fill it with laughter? I can imagine imagine laughter. Can we fill it with laughter?
I can imagine the laughter.
I don't need to hear it.
Everywhere I go, all I do is hear it.
Everywhere I go, do you know the Jackie?
It actually works really well.
Everywhere I go, I just imagine they can't wait to see me.
Yeah.
Not only can they not wait to see me, but they-
They must love you at the bank.
No, they can't wait for me to bring it cuz guess who always closes
Me no matter where I am. I'm always the closer always the closer
Yeah, the lynchpin of every every deal Henry Zabrowski, man. You got to get him in there. Oh, he's wheeling
Oh, he's dealing and I am scared of whatever cards he's got in his hand. I'm a real Kevin Spacey from The Negotiator.
Ooh! Hopefully not from anything else!
He seems real sad and I feel like that should be enough.
Yeah, we should let him back, huh?
He seems really sad.
He does seem upset about what he's done to all those boys.
I feel like he sold his... I didn't know he had a mansion in Baltimore.
I didn't know there were mansions in Baltimore.
Yeah, I think he lived with the mayor.
Good for him.
Hopefully he was consensual.
No, he just lived in the walls.
Is this the cancelled culture you are talking about?
Oh my god, Spacey's in the vent.
Hello, it's Kevin Spacey here.
That is not...
All the walls shake! That is not... I don't know if you know who Kevin Spacey is, but that is
not Kevin Spacey whatsoever.
Do you happen to have a young intern I can meet?
No, never leave your injury to him.
Let your kisses upon the intern for my Kevin, Reginald Spacey.
Especially when he's doing this.
Especially when he's hiding in the vents.
Sir Kenneth. You can't. hiding in the vents. Sir Kenneth.
You can't.
Reginald Kevin Spacey.
You just gotta roll him out into the kiddie pool and hope he can't find his way back in.
This is gonna be a really good show. So come and watch the rest of the episodes of Good Put Cast on YouTube, wherever your fucking podcast can be found.
Or you can just listen to it, but I think that's sad to just listen to it.
It's better to watch it. I mean, I'm just gonna come out and fucking say it
It's better to watch it because when it comes look at us
You don't want to miss this your people just hearing this can't know how much
Just how great visual aspect you can't holy fucking shit. Well, you have no idea
There are we have plans studio. There are plants in here. There are plants in here. And I can feel the oxygen like do you feel like
I'm so high
You know the plants are plastic it's a bit of it, but that's what nice is the placebo effect still works even with oxygen
Which I didn't know
I'm sucking it all up then
Don't you wish it were real now Yeah we, we're all gonna die. See you two fools in here.
Very subtle.
Jackie, say goodbye to the audience.
Bye audience.
Well, you're not live, but I can feel you inside of my brain.
Yes, and we will see you very, very soon.
That actually did make me a little lightheaded.
Yep.
Kind of fun.
Actually, yeah.
What a cheap way to get high, man.
That's fucking jeds.
All you got to do, man, is just fucking kind of fucking
choke yourself.
Give me that pepper pud.
All right, here we go.
Guys, thank you so much for being
a part of the Good Pudkist.
I could do one more bite.
So go make sure.
You know what?
I could do one more bite.
Yeah, I guess we can.
We will do one more bite before we go.
Make sure you could email us at the goodpudpod.gmail.com
Oh my god
Are you ready for your blood to get checked?
Alright, I'm gonna do one more bite.
Do you feel it getting thicker?
Cause Rob is right.
Just again all that's in me is coffee.
Oh god, I'm just so bad for this.
I'm just so bad for this.
I'm just so bad for this day.
Doctor, please don't cut out my heart.
Doctor, please don't tell me I'm dead.
I keep saying I'm fine with it, but you know what it is?
It's that, like, the hard part is about the beginning struggle.
To find the flavors.
It's the beginning struggle.
That is a bit difficult. See, I had Gert this morning. To find the flavors. It's the beginning struggle.
That is a bit difficult.
See, I had Gert this morning.
You know what it is? It like, it hits the back.
And then it's like, Niagara Falls, Frankie Angel.
It just scoops right down the back of your throat.
It does scoop.
And glides right down.
I'm really upset.
And guess what?
So's my doctor.
But hey, if you can't please everybody,
that's what Abraham Lincoln said.
You can't please everybody all the time
and don't go to that play.
Abraham Lincoln said, you know what?
Yeah, you know what else Abraham Lincoln said?
This play sucks.
Ah!
Oh!
Shoulda wore a bigger hat.
Where's my helmet?
If he had a Mimi hat.
Oh my God. He coulda lived inside of it instead of the White House. Shoulda wore a bigger hat! Where's my helmet? If he had a Mimi hat!
Oh my god! He could have lived inside of it instead of the White House.
They actually apparently said that if he had modern medical attention he probably would have lived.
Think about that!
But he would have been like...
Not hula hooping?
You know what I'm saying?
He would have been
Alright go check out good put pod it's good put kiss email us good put pod at gmail Yeah, this is a threat. We are coming back to you. We're coming back alright
See you now
Get out of my studio Jackie. You can't be in here anymore. I'm so happy to leave your ovaries
I hear your ovaries squeaking. Kiss him one more time.
Eww, eww. It's like you're kissing Ed. Tell Eddie. That's like you're kissing him. Is that what you want? Yeah. You do want to kiss- Tell my husband.
Yeah, you do want to kiss Eddie? You want to cheat on your husband with my fucking best friend and work partner?
You want to fucking destroy everything? You fucking person? Is that what you want to do?
You want to destroy our lives from the inside out by kissing fucking head we have to end it goodbye
banana pudding