LATE BLOOMERS - NEW YEAR, SAME BRAIN: The neurodivergent guide to New Year's Resolutions

Episode Date: December 31, 2025

New year energy hits different when you have a neurodivergent brain. In this first LATE BLOOMERS episode of 2026, Rich and Rox pull apart everything that makes traditional New Year’s resolutions confusing, overwhelming or downright impossible for ADHD and neurodivergent people. From sensory based habits to special interest powered routines to making goals that won’t burn you out by February, this is the alternative guide to building a life that actually works for your brain. Packed with honesty, humour and practical tools, this episode will help you understand why you have struggled in past years and give you realistic strategies to make this one feel different. If you want a gentler happier more sustainable approach to the new year, this one is for you.

Stop. Are you about to set your New Year's resolutions? Don't do it until you listen to this episode. New Year's resolutions do not work for neurodivergent brains. We are going to tell you why that is and help you set some goals that might actually make your life a little bit better. Welcome to late bloomers in our new studio where we are getting our lives together. Eventually. New Year's resolutions you're a you're a big one for New Year or you always used to be I used to be but now I have changed you know like an ex-smoker yeah that becomes annoying and preachy about smoking yeah that is me when it comes to New Year's resolutions I've got a big bone to pick yeah with New Year's pick that bone resolutions yeah you're Ready? I'm ready. They don't work for neurodivergent brains. Right. And I would like to tell you the four reasons why. I can't wait to hear it. Is that sarcasm? No. I don't know. I have a problem

with sincerity, that's all. Number one, unhealthy fantasy. Okay. Okay. It's like saying I'm going to go to the gym twice a day, seven days a week. I'm going to never ever be late again. I'm going to start that business and fall in love and be super organised. We very often bring a fantasy version of who we want to be and it's not healthy. It's too much. Right. So I'm going to, I'm going to come away from New Year's resolutions and just say that that must be hard for people with ADHD and I'm going to call you out a little bit in a loving way. Actually, I think you're loads better now, but historically, let's use a we're going to start eating a little bit healthier analogy. This has happened a few times in our relationship. And instead of just eating a little bit

healthier, which is fairly easy to do, it just means a few different choices, maybe whole food. what you will do is research meticulously the perfect nutritional smoothie that you're then like I'm going to do this every day. It take an hour to get every single nutrient vitamin and everything the human body needs every day and be in whole food, which isn't sustainable. Is that a good example? You do it for three days. The blend is a mess. You can't be bothered to wash it up, then you start, you go back to McDonald's. That is the perfect example of the unhealthy fantasy. It allows us to live in this dreamland of achieving perfection. And when you're dreaming it up and you're hyper-focusing on it, it feels really good. Yeah. But the execution feels terrible.

So rather than get our high from imagining the perfect plan to be organized or healthy, you'll start a business. We're actually going to imagine. smaller plans that we can actually stick to. So let's stop getting high on the unhealthy fantasy. Number two sets us up to fail. Okay. When you have this unhealthy fantasy of perfection and you set that as your resolution that I'm going to the gym every single day this year and I'm going to run a marathon. Yeah, maybe 1% of people do it. Most of us won't. We're going to feel rubbish. It's like we set into the resolution itself the fact that we're going to fail. at it. But how do you do that though, right? Because I know your brain. And if we start going to

the gym, for example, it'll be very difficult for you to not be like, I want to go every day. I want to six-pack within two weeks. We're going to get into that. We get into the 10 girls that actually work. This is why they don't work. Okay, fine. Fine. Bone, fine. Bone, fine. So set up to fail, basically because we're also like OTT and obsessional and high- focused living in a fantasy land, our resolutions reflect that and they just like aren't fit a human neurodivergent purpose. Yeah. Are we going to like highlight some of the ones that you have made in the past? Because I would imagine some of it's food, but I bet there's some of it that's like I'm going to be really organised. I'm going to train to be a weightlifter. I'm going to

train to swim the English channel for charity. I'm going to launch the underwear business. I'm going to launch the charity business. I'm going to never, ever be late. I'm just going to decide to always show up an hour early. I'm going to be organized. Like, every single area of my life, realistic and fantasy, I've used them to beat myself up, set myself up to fail, and I have had enough, all right? Number three, guess what? They are. are not designed for the neurodivergent brain. Neurotypical brain, lovely. I'm going to start home cooking a bit more. Go out, buy the ingredients, look at the recipe, do it. Lovely. Big clap for you. That doesn't work because our brains, strange monstrosities, needs novelty, dopamine,

fun, excitement. Setting a rule for yourself that you have to meet every day is like, the opposite of that? Well, yeah, I agree. But my challenge would be, like, a lot of this is linked to shame and beating yourself up as a neurodivergent person, because my challenge would be, say you set a New Year's resolution to eat healthier or be more organized or whatever, because it's like quite a good time, like that New Year energy. Even if it lasts a month and then you stop doing it, I would see that as a, like, that's a really good month then. But you would look at it like, oh, I've failed again. Like, so I think maybe changing how you look at things could help as well.

If you haven't done it forever, you have failed. Oh my God, you've just dropped a late bloomer's truth bomb on me and I wasn't ready. And strangely enough, you didn't know where I was going with number four, but you have just slid us there very nicely. It's the shame spiral. Okay, yeah, lovely. We, because we are sensitive little creatures. and because we are primed to think of ourselves as useless losers, unfortunately,

when we do fail, when we don't live up to the perfect fantasy that we've set ourselves, we are liable to fall into a shame spiral. I've failed again, I've quit again, I'm useless, what's wrong with me? So New Year's resolutions become new ways to just feel terrible about oneself. And that prevents you, like, are you see it as a good example? But they wanted to learn Japanese. And they used the app Duolingo. And they got like a 179 day streak.

They forgot it for one day, broke their streak. And they've never looked at it again. I know. Like my thing is it doesn't, it doesn't matter. Like you've done 179 days. Just start again. That means you've done, say they missed 180 and went to 181. That still means that they've done 180 out of 181 days.

That's still. really good, but they don't think like that. The black and white thinking, I'm either winning, executing perfectly, living the fantasy where I've failed and I'm never going to do it again. So let's be real, guys. Unfortunately, it isn't New Year, New Year, it is New Year, same brain. Yeah. And we've got to find a way to work with that.

So I've picked my bone with New Year's resolutions. Can we get into some goals that us. neurodivergent folks could set that A we could stick to and B might actually make life a bit better. Fine. I'm going to take the lead for the ones that do work. Let's go. Little caveat.

They're quite simple, but they're not necessarily easy. Okay. So, number one, stop trying to be neurotypical. Oh, dear. And this isn't just about New Year's resolution. This is about stop trying to be neurotypical. It is not going to work. I think most people's New Year's resolutions

when they're undiagnosed is literally a list of trying to turn themselves to neurotypical. It's going to be more organised. My personal care is going to be better. Going to get better with money. Yeah. Never going to be late again. It's literally a shame list of all the reasons why you can't.

be neurodivergent. And it's not taking stock and highlighting the things that they are really good at. So that list will also be stuff that neurologically they're going to struggle with. So whatever their New Year's resolution, whatever goals they set, they're going to find really difficult and ultimately they'll probably fail to do it. So when you write your New Year's resolutions or you think about them, you put them in a notebook or you have a conversation at the pub, have this check. Is this a resolution for the neurotypical fantasy version of me that I wish existed but never will? Yeah. Or is it a resolution that realistically applies to neurodivergent me that I can accomplish?

Sorry to ruin the fantasy. I love it. Yeah. number two be kinder to yourself so a little a little bit like what I said say you do

do a new year's resolution to eat a bit healthier maybe you've had a quite a heavy December which a lot of people do I certainly do um did but so you you want to be healthier say you do that say you have a really good three weeks

of January and then you have a little bit of a McDonald's it's not the end of the world. You've got three weeks that your body has thanked you for. So be kind. Give yourself praise for what you have done rather than a shame spiral of the things that you haven't. I love it, but I do just have to say this one thing because I feel it is important. we know ADHD is in particular score highly in empathy for other people yeah

so I'm not saying be nasty to other people no no no that's not a good year's resolution but maybe rein it in a bit you know the like feeling sorry for an inanimate object that you might be throwing out or you walk past a shop and it has had as a sale because it's going out of business, all of that raging empathy and care and sadness, keep a little bit of that for you.

Yeah. Turn some of that kindness to yourself. And when you make a mistake, what a marvellous opportunity as little errors go to highlight the fact that you do the place cards, right? These cards that we use to write notes on. notice anything about mine, same with yours, they're upside down. You've got history for this. I've written them upside down. Yeah. So this is your opportunity to be kind of. One of my new year's resolutions is to be kind to myself. So yeah, it's upside down. Still works. It's created a talking

point, right? It's given us a good example of a real life subject. Right. Number three, tell people the truth. And I don't mean malicious lies. I mean, they'd be good to stop as well. But what I mean is if you are struggling, if you're late for something, just be honest. Don't tie yourself in knots trying to make excuses as to why you struggle with things. Just be honest. I struggle. Or if you struggle with loud noises and stuff like that, just share it. You're the perfect example of this in a social situation, after about an hour, you will say, I've had enough, too much for me now, see you later, off you go. Yeah.

It's so important for the people in your life, whether that's family, friends, even colleagues, in a sort of appropriate way to share the truth about what's going on for you. That might look like you've shown up late somewhere. You're flustered, you're anxious, you're panicking. typically speaking, we'd drop the old sorry traffic was bad when train was late. Tell the truth, I went the wrong way. I struggle with directions because of neurodivergence. I'm really sorry.

It's not an excuse if it's the truth. And it's not your fault. And you allow people to get to know you and to help you. And you don't have to keep living under this mask. Everything's okay. You might have to also do it with people that you are. close to. So something that I practice often is when you want to change a plan or do something that's not in the plan, it hits me quite hard. And rather than just sort of go along with it

and just maybe sulk internally or whatever, I'll say, if you've just said this, it's hit me quite hard. It's not in the plan. Do you mind if I take a minute to reflect or can we have a chat about it? But that's something that I do practice. In fact, telling the truth to the people closest to you is probably the most important place to do this. If something's upset you, if you're struggling, if something's hit you, you're not starting an argument. You're not shaming them for what they've said exactly as you just said, that's just hit me quite hard. Give me a moment. Can we talk about it? Let's go. Number four, be more comfortable. So a good example, I am comfortable on the sofa with my dog watching telly. So I am going to

prioritize that rather than go out, socialise, do the things that are expected. Be more comfortable. Comfort is so tied to neurodivergence very often, especially with autism, it's going to come with sensory issues as well. And some of that spectrum can overlap with ADHD, different schools of thought, different educators, different doctors say different things for the sake of this episode, let's say it's also important for ADHDers who can be very, very sensitive to be comfortable. So rather than beating ourselves up with gym every single day, restrictive diet every single day, must never ever be late, be more comfortable because when you're comfortable in your body, your body is not going to be so anxious and so

stressed? Yeah. You're going to sleep better, feel better, think better. Because guess what? We get to be happy. We get to enjoy life. Yeah. So if you need those big lights off, cozy blanket, candle lit, maybe some lovely sensory smells, even at work if you need a pillow, because maybe you're like me, one of those bendy people. Hypermobile. Hypermobile people. Do you need a pillow? Do you need to sit cross-legged? Do you need a special chair? Like don't just sit rigid, feel in the pain. Be comfortable. It's such a good one, this.

It's such a simple one and easy to fix. But it has, I know with you, it has such a profound impact. Like your environment and your comfort levels matter a lot. If I can lie down or sit down, you are getting a better version of me. Going to a gig, have they got seat? Book the seat. Sit down. Yeah.

Take the weight off your legs. Whatever that is. I love it. Be comfortable. Sensory needs first. Here's a lovely one. Oh. Which we don't often. It's usually like on the internet as a bit of a joke, a bit of a talking point. But indulge in your special interests. So your hyper focus, your special interest, whatever it is, like give yourself more time to do that. Because that's where that's where some of the magic happens.

Like when you're creating, when you're doing something you love, your. happier, you're more content. And actually, you know, it's fair to say, from a business point of view, we're in partnership and you are the creative mind. And you are better when you give yourself more time doing the things that you love. I need to hear this. I know we've like written these and we're meant to sound like we know what we're talking about. But that's almost made me cry because special interest time can make you feel a bit embarrassed and make you feel a bit odd. And to be able to write on a new year's resolution, how many people write on a new year's resolution get into meditation? Yeah. No. More special interest time,

because for me, my meditation is doing my special interest. So if I am reading about psychoanalysis, I am relaxing, I'm present and I'm calm. Also, a long-term love of mine is writing songs. Music's been with me for 20 years. I use it to regulate. I know I'm in a good mental state when I nip off to write a song. I do it to relax. If you're a day off

and I'm feeling good it's what I do and I just think no shame around special interests if you love it you love watching Marvel movies

on repeat same film over and over and over again lovely why shouldn't that be a New Year's resolution more time

with me and Marvel relaxing on the sofa to regulate to feel goods oh joyful that's ding ding Ding.

Was that number five? That was number five. That was me done. If you don't mind, I'll take over for the last five. Go. I don't mind at all. Okay. Find the right support.

Okay. Okay. So that might be finding a therapist. Psychoanalytic. I'm joking. I'm just kind of wedge in my special interest. We are not doctors. Surprise, surprise.

just in case anybody. It will be something else as well. Like psychoanalytic therapy is a big one at the moment, but you just love learning. Like it was marketing a couple of years ago. Yeah, it was. And I just love learning new things. Brilliant.

And find the right support. So is this the year that you make that step into finding the right therapy? Is it the year that you walk into your first recovery meeting? Is it the year that you speak to your boss about some accommodations at work? is it the year that you sit down with your partner and say, look, I know that I've been pissing you off,

leaving these clothes on the floor. I want to get better. I want to work together. But I really struggle. That's huge. I mean, because, yeah, I mean, it doesn't have to be going to therapy, does it? It can be really small things around the house

and just verbalising your needs. I think that's the big one in all of it, whether it's to a therapist, a boss, a partner, a parent. It's like verbalising, I'm struggling with this. I really need support. And it could be so small, like a pillow, or like the big light off or whatever, like just talking about that and seeking it.

Because it doesn't just come. No, you have to give the people in your life the opportunity to show up for you. So often when we're so used to masking, we hide our true selves and then feel really lonely that nobody knows who we really are sees how much we're struggling

I had to learn the hard way that people aren't mind readers Yeah They won't look at you smiling and saying Everything's fine and realise you're at the end of your tether We do need to use art words and say I need help and I'm the same though Like for a different reason

Like I need people to know that I'm not going to pick up a lot of what they're feeling, thinking, how I should act, just tell me. Like if I've annoyed you, I'm going to need you to tell me why specifically, so I can be there for you, with you, make accommodations, validate you, because I'm just not going to know. Like the unspoken word is nearly impossible. You're basically like you are training people. in your life to be able to love you properly.

You are that trainer. So I've trained you to be the most amazing partner. And you've trained me because nobody knows better what we need and how to get the best out of ourselves than we do. So open your mouth and find that support. And anyone that is walking into that first meeting, book in that first therapy session, having the first chat at work or sitting down with their partner. We wish you the best of luck. They're tough combos, but we know here at Late Blooms that they can change lives.

Number seven, I just love it. You excited about this one, are you? You would never hear it on a neurotypical New Year's Resolution list. Do things the easy way. Yeah, I like that. There are no points struggling. You don't need to punish yourself, force yourself into a way that doesn't work. the easy way for me i don't like pairing socks it's tough it takes up time i don't have easy way buy

20 pairs of the same socks immediately listen i know it's i know it's bad but i'm going to shamelessly plug dovy here as well there are loads of things that people struggle with um making the bed tidy in the kitchen loads and a lot of people have found that body doubling makes it loads easier Oh, the easy way. Yeah, sure. For those that don't know, we run a body doubling app called Dubby. It's a huge community of people that clean together, cook together, do admin together and even craft together. We're running eight live sessions a day. So yeah, come and download Dubby, 4.9 stars rated. Believe it or not. Sorry, I couldn't, I couldn't resist at that moment. It makes sense. Cleaning made easy. should be our new tagline. But whatever it is in your life that makes it easier, just do that thing. Like you don't have to do it the hard way.

So I'm always looking for little tips and tricks in my life. How do I save time? How do I make this easier? And by the way, that can land as, oh, is that just an excuse for being lazy? No. Do you remember that? I believe it was a Bill Gates quote. Yeah. People in the comments, correct me if I'm wrong. He said something like, I'll always hire the lazy person because they'll find the easiest way to do something.

I wonder whether he was talking about someone with ADHD or neurodivergence. They won't do what makes sense. They won't do what's always being done. They'll find easiest, newest way. I cut strawberries scissors. I know it's crazy to me. Yeah, but you can see why. Yeah, yeah.

I don't need to get a board to chop on. I don't need the knife. I literally chop with scissors, holding the tip, straight into my yoghoball. It is easy. I think, like, a little challenge. You could potentially throw the tops of the strawberries in the bin after occasionally.

On to number eight. Joyful environment, okay? Where you spend time, your environment is one of the most important things in life into being happy. We don't get a lot of time on this occasionally beautiful planet. So make it joyful. What do you love having around you? Let's get a bit more of the. that let's bring some vibes me i love mood lighting and candles you also like music when you're in that particular mood you love moving to music don't you put some music on have a dance light a candle lights down low or whatever it is in your environment that just makes you smile is it some artwork that you've got from a friend or from someone on Etsy have you printed a

a lovely photo that means something to you. Bring in joy. Don't live in a clinical environment. There's this thing called dopamine decor. Have you seen it? No. Probably around the house I have, yeah. Perfect time to mention our brand new studio

for those on YouTube and Spotify video. You'll be able to see it. For those on the audio, apologies, just give me 15 seconds. It's brand new. Flowers everywhere. Green walls, pink wallpaper, wooden panelling candles.

this is dopamine decor. It basically just makes you smile because it's full on and it's busy. So yeah, bring some dopamine into your daily life. I also love how we make fun of each other. Now that's earned because there's a lot of understanding and patience and stuff like that. But laughter is always verberating around this house, isn't it?

God, have a laugh. Yeah. You don't laugh, you'll cry. Okay, number nine, again, this wouldn't be on... A Neurodifical list, and I love it so much. Are you ready? Rest hard. Right.

You're good at this. Sometimes I am. Probably not a couple of months ago going through yet another burnout crying on holiday. Yeah, it's true. That's for another episode. Rest hard. Rest before you burn out. Loads of us use so much energy.

whether it is neurodivergence, whether you're chronically ill, we have got limited spoons. You may need to rest more than other people, and it's okay. Rest and sleep, it baffles me. I'm not a doctor or a scientist, but what I do know is that for both mental and physical health, so like my for you page is always about gym and working out because I've started CrossFit at the moment.

And even in the physical world, the gym space, they're saying that eight hours of sleep is so important for your body to, like, build and recover. And yeah, so both physical and mental, sleep is underrated. Like, you see some of these people that, like, I have four hours. Like, what are you talking about? You have four hours. Sleep and rest. And it might be going for a lie down on the sofa.

it might be saying no to someone. It might be telling someone you're busy because you're going to sit in the bath and scroll your phone. Rest is so needed. We know that we are more likely to burn out. We have ADHD and autistic burnout that come with their own symptoms.

Let's not burn out this year. Let's make 2026 the big year of rest to in order us to show up for families, friends and work. I love it. And all the fun stuff. Love it. So let's rest more. I'm so excited to just be cozy and rest.

The final one, number 10, obsessed, completely in love, dream effing big. Yeah. Well, I don't feel like you have a problem with this. Me? Yeah, you personally. No. Me maybe. Yeah.

Dream big. When you are comfortable, when you are comfortable, when you've got support from your loved ones, when you're resting, when you stop trying to be neurotypical, when you do all of these gorgeous neurodivergent resolutions, guess what? You have got time and capacity to dream effing big. I am talking the childhood goal. I'm talking turning the hyperfixation into a job, launching that business, writing that book, becoming a parent, whatever it is for you, that thing that's maybe felt impossible.

If you treat yourself in the right way, it becomes possible. Wouldn't it be amazing if 2026 was the year that those dreams inside you started to come to fruition? I love it. I really like what you said about, you know, being honest, being comfortable, getting the right rest, all the other things that we've talked about. Because what this isn't,

because you could say you wanting to swim the channel is dreaming big. But I like, I think it's important. to talk about let's do all of the other stuff well first and then and then you're going to have capacity do you really want to do it is it is it purposeful is it your lifelong mission and then go do it is it your dream so me wanting to swim the channel it was just me trying to impress my dad and like hyper fixate on something new I wasn't a swimmer I don't like cold water it was never going to happen it was a full fantasy mission yeah me going back to and starting a music career in late 30s, now early 40s.

That had been with me for 20 years. Yeah. A dream that I'd always carried, turned away from when I thought I'd failed at it, but it was always there. You always wanted to be a television presenter. Yeah. A bit of a Derma O'Leary. Now, we don't...

I'm not there. No, but you run your own podcast and you're on social media. It's more closer when you're at the bank. So to our listeners, whatever that dream is, maybe it's long forgotten. Maybe it's something from childhood. Maybe it has been a long-term hyper-focus. Like, you can do it. And the way to do it isn't, I'm going to cook three healthy home-cooked meals every single day and go to the gym twice a year and never be on time. If you're trying to beat yourself up into being neurotypical, no time for dreams. I agree. I want actually our listeners to help me. So I want to go on traitors. So I don't know whether the BBC's watching this. If they're not, send this over to them. I want to be on the traitors. You can't. You. use. The late famous. They're going to help me. They're going to help me, do it? New Year's resolution episode to plug yourself going on traders. That's what I want. That's your new year's being honest. We said that they wouldn't be fantasy. Anyway, guys, what an amazing episode. Happy

New Year. Thank you for being with us. We hope you've enjoyed it. We hope you have loved the new studio as much as we have. Go and write your neurodivergent friendly resolutions. Let us know what they are in the comments and as always give us a like, comment, review and also have fun tonight. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. See you next week.