LATE BLOOMERS - PERIMENOPAUSE DIARIES: My first symptoms, HRT journey, and what I wish I knew sooner

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

In this episode of LATE BLOOMERS, Rox opens up about her perimenopause journey — from her very first symptoms at to recently starting HRT. She talks honestly about the brain fog that felt like being underwater, the exhaustion nothing could fix, and the moment she was convinced her life was over.They unpack why perimenopause hits ADHD women harder, why nobody warned us this was coming, and the year Rox left her HRT unopened in the cupboard out of fear. Plus the male doctor who tried to talk her out of taking it.Then comes the turnaround. Eight weeks into HRT, Rox describes getting her life back — her sleep, her energy, her confidence, her creativity. If you've been feeling weird in your body and wondering what's wrong with you, this one is for you.20% off Loop Earplugs: ⁠https://www.loopearplugs.com/pages/lp-adhdlove⁠

You're noticing more brain fog than usual. You're forgetting things. You're suddenly feeling a little bit hot when you didn't used to be. You're not enjoying the things that you used to love and you find yourself wondering why can I no longer cope. The truth is you might be in perimenopause. Like everything else, it's going to hit us ADHD ladies harder. So today I'm going to share with you my perimenopause journey from my very first symptoms, thinking my life was over. to recently starting HRT in the hopes it might bring some comfort and make you feel a little bit less alone. Welcome to late bloomers where we are getting our lives together. Eventually. Can I just say?

Bought you by loop here plugs. Yeah, you can. After you said that, I was sitting here. So this episode is going to work with me interviewing you about perimenopause, right? Now, I am, I think, the perfect person to interview about perimenopause. Do you know why? Why? Because I am going to ask you questions assuming I know nothing about it. But I think that's perfect. Honestly, I didn't know anything about it until it happened to me and I wish I'd known a little more. So ask me anything. No question too silly. And of course, guys, we aren't doctors. I'm just an old ADHD person who happens to be going through perimenopause and this is my story. Well, you know me, babe.

Autism is basically designed to ask questions. So I'm going to go, right. So I'm going to try and do this in a bit of a chronological way and ask you to take us back to sort of when it started. And when I say it, you noticing differences in you? Sure. So when I started noticing things changing, I didn't really know about perimenopause. And it's only now looking back in hindsight and with things that I've read and heard now that I think,

oh my God, it started a lot sooner. So for context, I'm 41 now. I think it probably began in my mid to late 30s. So when we were first together, the very first thing, two things actually that I noticed years ago that I now think was the very first signs. The first one was changes in like the length of my period and cycle length. Right. Yes. Okay.

You're already lost. So my cycle was pretty typically 28 days. Right. And that started to change. Some months it would be 26 days, 25 days. Or I'd be late on my period. And I'd always been very, very regular. So that was just something.

I was like, oh, that's strange. I put it down to just getting older. It is getting older, but it's actually something very particular about getting older that can affect length of cycle, heaviness of flow, all of that stuff. And then do you remember a few years ago when I was having issues with blood sugar? Yes.

So apparently that can be related. When you first start going into perimenopause, it can affect your blood sugar and that's what it can feel like because your hormones are suddenly fluctuating for the first time. Okay. So period changes, blood sugar changes. what else? Because I don't, I don't reckon those two things would have made you go and see your doctor or investigate. No. You know, and this will be different for every woman.

Not everybody might have period changes or blood sugar, but you'll start to notice just not feeling like yourself. I think a couple of years ago, I just started to feel, I remember feeling like so out of it, not myself, weird and wonky, quite anxious, like your sort of body knows something's going wrong. And I remember, I don't know, yeah, just feeling weird. You feel weird in yourself, but obviously like I'm a slightly weird character, so sometimes... Then I'm going to push you because there might be a few of our listeners that might feel weird. But like what can you can you pinpoint some symptoms, I suppose, like pre-HRT, which we'll come on to later.

But what are the main ones? Yeah. Okay. So hot flushes I've heard about. Menopausal women have hot flushes. And I understood that to mean that you get incredibly hot and you get a bright red face. and it would be very clear that you're having a hot flush.

That isn't what happened for me. I would get strangely warm in situations I wouldn't normally be warming and I'd sort of say to you, it'd often be in bed, I'd go, is it hot in here? Is it just me? And I actually run quite cool. I don't often say I'm hot.

We started to become more aligned with the things. temperature that we wanted the bedroom, didn't we? Because I kept, and it wouldn't last for ages, I don't know, maybe a few minutes. I'm suddenly feeling warm. You know the sensation of if you've been out in the sun all day and you've maybe got a bit sunburned? Yeah. That's what it felt like.

Okay. So in my mind, a hot flush was this like, huge thing. It just felt like I had a bit of sunburn. It would come on randomly every couple of weeks. Now, obviously, the. longer you go on without treatment, the more intense that is going to be. Yep. But those were the first signs for me.

So the hot flushes, hold on, let me just get my card because I wrote down some of the things that I've gone through just because I knew I'd forget. Oh yeah. Okay. So a worsening of forgetfulness. And it wasn't brilliant already. Perimenopause is often the moment where people realise their ADHD. Wow.

Because if you've been high masking or you've made it through your whole life, what happens in perimenopause is obviously your hormones are disrupted and estrogen is needed in the production of dopamine. So you will have less dopamine than you did before. you're already struggling so it will push you through the floor if you've been able to just about keep it together you are going to be hit hard in perimenopause

and I would imagine even if they people did know they were ADHD it might feel like their ADHD's getting worse oh without a shadow of a doubt so just things like forgetfulness it brings me back and I put this down to depression or burnout last year but

when I left the tap on twice, I'm sort of thinking, my God, was I, was that part of this like hormonal situation as well? Brain fog? That's a big one. You've mentioned that a lot. I don't think I knew how bad it was until experiencing it getting better. We're going to come to that. Like last year, how many times did I explain to you? the way I was feeling in the morning. Yeah.

Like, how would I explain it to you? I just want to see. You would be like, I just feel like there's nothing, like the creativity has gone. I've got nothing to give. That's how you would describe it. Yeah, like my brain,

my brain was like offline. Yeah. Underwater. Pretty much the whole time. You said that a lot actually, feeling underwater. That's how you would describe your brain. feeling. I think if I said it's like someone's taking a cheese grater to the edges and it's all just

been blunted as well. Yeah. It's really difficult to put words to it and explain. And obviously I'm someone that is in regular therapy and I think a lot about symptoms and where they might come from, particularly in relation to emotional well-being. But then you can miss physical stuff. Yeah. So I think I was thinking I was depressed or, I didn't want to do certain things anymore. And actually looking back now, I was like really struggling with perimenopause. I think looking back as well, you know, if we go back way to the beginning of our relationship, you know, if you'd sometimes feel a bit low or feel a bit lethargic or whatever,

we would both say to each other that diet and exercise and all that sort of stuff would really help. And I remember during this period, you were saying these things. and you were exercising regularly, you were taking your vitamins regularly, you were doing everything right and you still, like it didn't make sense. That's why it felt so upsetting and destabilising, because nothing are, like before it was like, get a good night's sleep, eat whole food, drink water, go for a walk, you'll feel great tomorrow. And I always did.

Yeah. And then suddenly those things aren't working anymore. And you're just left. not functioning as you used to wondering like what's going on. Yeah. So yeah, that brain fog, that underwater feeling that like you've lost your sharpness, you've lost your enjoyment. It's really common to start to hate what you once loved.

So obviously for me, I started finding music very, very, very, very, very difficult last year. Yeah. Because music comes from that super switch. on creative place, I just couldn't, I couldn't get there anymore. It's like really, really quite tough and quite horrible. There's also physical stuff and it's really interesting because, again, I'm looking back now things have got a bit better and I can really see it clearly, but at the time when you're going through it, it's not that obvious.

and so sleep being disrupted. I would have said I was a good sleeper, but what had started to happen to me was I was a light sleeper. So if I woke up in the middle of the night, my chances of getting back to sleep, like, weren't great. Yeah. And I'd often wake up at 5 or 6 a.m. to need a wee and then I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.

So I've just grown into a light sleeper. that is not the case. And yeah, we will get to the hormones later. But I'm now sleeping eight, nine hours, no wake-ups, no light sleep, no waking up to wee, just like fully rested. And obviously, when your sleep is impacted, that impacts like everything. Because you're tired, your brain fog. It's absolutely horrible.

And I didn't even realize my sleep was an issue. It happened so slowly. I just got used to it. Yeah. Anything else on that list? Fatigue. So your energy resources are really depleted. And you'll notice this now.

Like how much more I can do in a day, how much more present I am. Why notice you can, you know, a good measure of your energy? energy levels is how much you dance around like a, like a fool. Oh, I've danced around like a fool. And you're dancing in evenings, which you weren't doing for a long time. Like you still had energy at the end of the day. What would happen to me, we'd get halfway through a day's work. And then I'd be on the sofa with no energy.

Trying to like do a white monster or something. Like, I was just depleted. So then you feel like you're failing, you're falling behind. Like it all adds up to just feeling like your life is falling apart and you're no longer capable of living it. And it's already not great because of ADHD. And then this comes and kicks you in the bum as well. Yeah, I guess on that point, confidence. Like you start to lose confidence in yourself that you can work hard, achieve things, make it through the day.

And wondering kind of what's wrong. Yeah. If I think about last year, and look, if I say it started a few years ago, it peaked last year. Like, it got to the point of, like, I can't cope. My life is over. I hate everything that I used to love. Also, savages your libido. Yeah, I know.

Sorry about that. So, yeah, that's kind of the story of my first symptoms. and realizing that like perimenopause was happening quite aggressively inside my body. Before I ask you the next question, you know me, I like a list. So I want to repeat all of those, but in list form. Sure. So my first symptoms were changing in cycles to my periods, blood sugar, crippling brain fog, forgetting more than usual, falling out of love with things that you

once loved, not sleeping through the night, feeling chronically fatigued and hot flushes, and just this sense of what is wrong with me. Okay, so when you say it like that doesn't sound that fun, but I also know that you went through all of these and you didn't know, stroke, think it was perimenopause. So what, and one thing I would say, maybe I'm just on different parts of the internet, but you don't really hear much about this online.

I certainly haven't seen anything. So it's being spoken about a tiny bit more now. But not really. Like, I feel like it's 50% of the population. Yeah. We should probably be taught in school that you'll be, basically going to go through it's like a second puberty. Like it's that big hormonally on your body and nobody talks about it.

But that is, you know, the kind of the state of women's healthcare, healthcare when you're older. Yeah. What was a lifeline to me was Davina's book and program about the menopause. Menopauseing. Yeah. Yeah. Because it was like, oh my God, that's what's happening to me. It is, yeah, great, but still like, I haven't read the book, so you might correct me,

is that more focused on menopause rather than... It does talk about perimenopause as well. Oh, does it? Okay, cool. Yeah, so it was like a really good introduction to what was happening and what was, like, on the horizon for me. Okay, so you went for all of this, you didn't know what it was, so presumably you just went into, an existential dread that something's wrong that you're never going to be fixed. I jest, but what actually did you do? Like, what were the steps that you took?

Yeah, existential dread. I think just feeling really sad that maybe I'd grown out of my personality. I'd changed. I don't know. Numerous blood tests, I remember. Just trying to see, that's what I sort of mean. What did you do? You know what?

This is so interesting because in the last few years, I've had two or three blood tests because I'd be feeling so bad I'd be convinced something was wrong and then actually one time I did have low vitamin D one time had low iron but probably fine

wouldn't it? Yeah yeah and then in my most recent blood test there was a sort of strange marker of free androgens which is basically testosterone. I had very low testosterone.

So is that what made you explore that it could be paramountopause? You had a blood test? Yeah, because I was like, that's weird. You know when you get the blood test, but it comes back with a sort of red exclamation point. So that was the first time I was like, oh, this could be hormones. Yeah. And actually, you know, that was probably a year ago.

And what I did, because of the type of character I am, go on a deep dive. Oh my God, it's hormones. I'm found HRT. I'm going to start taking HRT. Wait, let me stop. I don't want to get to that yet. So disclaimer, we're not medical professionals. No.

But was there anything emotionally or decisions that you had to make as to whether to take them or not? Like is there risk? Yes. Like what? Yes. I want to talk more about that before, actually. So all I'd ever heard. is that HRT caused breast cancer.

I grew up hearing that, and I don't know, it's just this strange belief that you have. Obviously, DeVina's book and program spoke a lot about that and kind of spoke to those fears. There's a lot of new studies. It increases the risk by it by a very, very tiny percent. So it's like out of a thousand people

rather than, I can't remember the exact number so I don't want to say it, but it might be four more people out of a thousand. But it's not. It was not. I remember watching the documentary with you and she did it visually with like marbles or something and it was like, it was nothing.

So obviously that is still a big concern. It's really important. And for some people, that might be a reason not to do it. From sort of reading the divina stuff, reading Reddit. Sorry, but I get a lot of info. I decided that I wanted to try. But this was last year.

Yeah. So I found a online private doctor, female run, set up to kind of do a consultation. And they basically say they don't do blood tests because your hormones are so up and down throughout your cycle, it's very difficult to actually know. So they go off your symptoms. And because I was listing brain fog, forgetfulness, feeling out of myself,

this weird hot flushes, that was enough for them to prescribe me, HRT. Yeah. Because I still have a period, I'm on cyclical HRT. So what that means is it's a combination of estrogen and progesterate. So I take estrogen for half of the month and then estrogen and progesterone for the second half and that's what you do if you still have a period because it protects your uterus lining.

So yeah, I got prescribed it. I got sent three months of it and I didn't start taking it last year. Why not? Fear? Worry? Of what? Surely I'm not impairment.

I'm only 40. I feel so young. Well, like denial. It's something else. What if I take it early and it's wrong? No, I'm not going to take it. So I put it in the cupboard in our bedroom despite going through all of this. It is interesting, though, because, and you know, I don't want to speak badly about any medical professionals. They will do an amazing job. But you were exploring something via blood tests. I think it was something similar to this. or something else, I don't remember. But it was that year we went to see a specialist. The guy that told us that we had vitamin D deficiencies,

he almost like dismissed it. He was like, you're not, you're not on the merit. But he was an old guy. He said women are starting HRT too early when they don't need it. And essentially made out it was to get money and it was unnecessary and it's something to look at in your 50s. But that's easy for a guy to say, isn't it? Yeah, if you're not going through, going through it.

So yeah, maybe that put me off. I just, I don't think I was ready. I was like, I don't think it's bad enough for me to start taking. And I was scared of it. Taking hormones, it felt like such, such a huge deal to me to start taking hormones. And I just got to say, shout out trans people because most of what I've read about hormones comes from trans people, like online.

And actually the reason why I was probably okay to go back to it is because, and by the way, nothing to do with perimenopause but sort of other reasons, people taking hormones, and it being quite normalized. I feel like strangely that's done some good stuff. Right, before we get into the effects of taking the HART, quick word from our sponsors. If you are neurodivergent, it's very likely that you also have sound sensitivity.

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And it will take you straight to the website. We hope you enjoy. Okay. So I'm now going to shift onto when you start. started taking HRT. So I suppose the first thing, why did you make the decision to start taking it? I think I was desperate. Nothing was getting better despite my vitamin protocol, working out, drinking, like nothing was changing the weight of how I felt. And I think the worst thing for me was that brain fog because, look, it's a lot.

The HD comes with a lot of, like, negative things, and we talk about the struggles a lot, but I'm so used to having a very active, sharp, creative mind. Like, it's always jumping around, like, having fun and thinking of stuff. And that was blunted completely. Like, I lost it. And I missed it. I felt like I had lost something. It's almost like, I'll try anything.

Like, I just want that back. I was struggling so much with energy and fatigue. Yeah, I was like, I'll try anything. And I didn't think it was going to work. I honestly, it was three months ago. I'd had it in that, the package in the cupboard. I was like, I'm just going to start. I remember telling you on a walk.

If you ordered more, by the way. Oh, no, I need to. Right. Yeah, I need to. Got like two weeks left. Okay. Good. Reminder.

Oh, M.G. Yeah, so I had a pump, an estrogen pump gel and progesterone little circles. Tablets. Little tablets. Yeah, but the little balls. And I felt nervous. I felt scared. I didn't think it was going to make a difference.

But yeah, it got to the point of I need to try something because I feel really, really lost and unhappy with life. and I have such a, like, lovely life. Yeah. And what happened? I mean, you've lived with me the last couple of months. I know, so it's making me like a tear up because it's changed, like, loads for me in a short space of time. Would you say it's tackled all of the things that you talked about? Let's go back through the list.

Brain fog gone. Yeah. Look, forgetting, I'm back to forgetting a normal amount. An ADHD amount. Not like everything. I've got passion and energy for things I enjoy again. I'm sleeping through the night. I'm not having any fatigue.

I'm not having any hot flushes and my confidence is back. So every single one of the things that I was drowning under has gone away. Any negatives? For me, no. I'm very early on. Yeah. So obviously, this is the perimenopause diaries. I'll come back in six months in a year and kind of update people.

But at the moment, no. I've noticed your sleep. I mean, all of those I've noticed. I've noticed energy levels, brain fog, just mental health generally seems loads better. But your sleep, like you sleep hard now, don't you? So, yeah, my gosh, you don't even realize you're not sleeping until you get help with it. So my first two weeks was on the estrogen gel. I didn't really notice much in my first couple of weeks.

It was when I started progesterone, night one on progesterone. I slept the best I have in five years. And I'd read it on Reddit. That is a site where I just love, because you hear from actual women who are taking this and going through it. And a lot of people had said that day one of progesterone, they had the best sleep they'd ever had. And that happened to me. Do you want to know why? I know, whatever you say, I know why it works so transformationally for you.

You have not forgot to do it once since you started taking it. and like vitamins, exercise, drinking water, all of that sort of stuff, you forget all the time. Oh, yeah. I'm so hardcore with taking it because it's given me my life back. And it sounds dramatic, but that's literally... But it would need something that dramatic for you to do it regularly. I'm not, I know I'm trying and funny, but that is true.

When I have my consultation, they were like, do you want the everyday gel, or do you want to patch? I was like, I'll have the everyday gel. Like, why? Did I not have the patch? But I don't know. I felt like I had more control with the gel. So yeah, progesterone, immediately I started sleeping.

And that has not stopped. So even when I cycle off progesterone, I'm still sleeping through the night. I'm not a light sleeper anymore. I'm so happy about that. I feel like sleep is such a huge part of it. and progesterone helps with sleep with relaxation and anxiety. It's like I'm not, I haven't got that low level anxiety anymore.

It's just quietly eating away at you. And obviously estrogen, which is needed for dopamine, already I'm on a low baseline and I was through the floor. And that's obviously restored that in my body. And other random things as well, my hair's a little bit, thicker and shinier. Libido up. My libido's up.

Hey! That's my little sprinkling. Yeah, but that's a big one. Like, yeah, I felt like my body had just died and it didn't. It just needed some hormones. So I'm getting to the end of it now, but I'm just trying to imagine what the comments might say. and I wonder if we get a lot of people going, oh my God, that's me. What do I do?

Like that feels like an important question. Like what? Yeah. If you listen to this going, oh, my God, that's me. What the hell do I do? So find the Davina book. Davina McCall has a book called menopauseing and audio book. And she also has a series.

I can't remember what channel it's on, but it's going to be really easy to find. DeVina McCall. menopause series, it's such a heartwarming place to start because you just realise you're not alone. So if you haven't seen that, if you don't know much about it, what an incredible place to start. Then number two, I would say speak to a doctor. Now, you might be able to speak to your GP and you might have a pathway to HRT for your GP. I went straight away. I went straight away. private because I want like I wanted to speak to somebody tomorrow, book in, all women. I knew I'd be listened to.

Yeah. So there's obviously a financial burden there. For me, the change it's had in me, I'd pay 10 times what it cost. How much is it? I think my initial appointment was about £100. Yeah. And then within that, they do the appointment. you can get your prescription at the end of it.

So that was just sort of me Googling like a really good clinic. Okay. But obviously that's not going to be for, not everybody's going to want to do HRT. No, of course. So I know she doesn't have ADHD, but like my sister-in-law, Claire, she used,

she went to Holland and Barrett, and they've got apparently some good supplements that she said carried her through perimenopause and menopause. So there's lots of things out there to look at every individual journey is different. This is just my one. But I think obviously I have like a very keen interest in ADHD women. Yeah, yeah. And ADHD women who are getting hit harder, maybe who are even realizing for the first time that it is HRT because it's 10 times worse.

Like it's really, you're losing your personality, you're at the end of your tether, you've got no end. Like, your entire self has kind of disappeared. Yeah. And I'm just, I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for those gorgeous female doctors that set up that consulting and to be able to go and speak to them and that it's helped. You know, we're talking like within the first four weeks, huge differences. Within eight weeks, I'm like back to myself. That's kind of how quickly the changes can happen.

There we have it. The Diary of a Perimenopausal woman, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks for being my interview. I think you did really well. Thanks very much. I'm just inquisitive. I know. This has been the perimenopause diaries. I hope that it has helped someone who is maybe going through all of the things I was going through. Put the pieces together and realise that's what's happening to you. Let us know in the comments what you thought of the episode, where you are in your journey. if anything has helped you. Have you tried H-R-T? Have you not? Any worries? We'd love to get a conversation going. As always, if you've enjoyed it, like, comment, subscribe, do all the things that help us. We really appreciate it and see you next week.

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