LATE BLOOMERS - THE BIG BURNOUT EPISODE: ADHD burnout and the cost of pushing through

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

In this episode of LATE BLOOMERS, Rox talks openly about going into burnout for the second time — and how this one crept up after things were finally going well. After launching the podcast, releasing her debut album, touring, writing a children’s book, running ADHD Love, and stacking her diary with self-imposed deadlines, she explains how momentum turned into pressure and rest slowly disappeared.Rox and Rich unpack the warning signs she ignored along the way: telling herself she was “just tired,” flooding the bathroom twice by leaving the tap on, and pushing through weeks with no gaps at all. When they finally stopped and went on holiday, the burnout fully hit. Rox describes crying every day, feeling overwhelming shame, and experiencing burnout as a deadening of the spirit — where the world no longer looks blue, just grey.Things intensify when Rox has to go on tour alone, terrified she won’t be able to do her job. She shares how she survived by switching into performance mode, crashing afterwards, and slowly realising that burnout didn’t come from failure — it came from pushing too hard for too long. This episode is an honest look at ADHD burnout, self-imposed pressure, and the real cost of always pushing through.

Welcome back to another burnout episode because she ignored all of the advice that she gave in the first one and went through another burnout. I'm going to ask her and try and get to the bottom of what happened, what went wrong and how we could have prevented it. Oh dear. Welcome to the late bloomer's podcast where we are getting our lives together for the second time. Sorry, babe. Was that a bit mean? No, I think laughing at the fact that I've literally ignored all of my own advice from our burnout episode. last year and have gone through another burn. It's just brilliant. It's on brands.

We aren't here to feel any shame about it. It's something that happened. In fact, I probably feel like our first burnout episode was quite serious. This one, I think we can have a lot. I'm happy to be laughed at. This is unscripted. I've made no notes. I'm just going to try and get to the bottom of it.

Okay? The bottom of my burnout. The bottom of your burnout. Okay. So I guess for the first, first question is a really open question, but what happened? Talk us through, I guess, when you first would say there were potentially signs up until burnout. So, I think it happened, it may have started around April. So we'd had a really awesome start to last year. We launched

the late bloomer's podcast. I'm not blaming the podcast, by the way, but. Dubby Lives. We'd launch the Dubby Live Body Dublin sessions. I had released my first album and gone on tour around the UK and we'd continued making videos. So there was a lot... ADME was in there as well, isn't it? Oh yeah, and we wrote Kids' book. Oh my God, no wonder.

So there was a lot going on. For the first few months of the year, I was riding high. I was like, whoa, we've worked so hard. Look at all this fun stuff. Look at all these fun creative projects. I couldn't believe my album had gone top 10 in the UK. I'd sold out a big UK tour.

Aidy and me became a bestseller. This pod, people didn't hate it. So we were really happy about that. The dubby live sessions went crazy. So like, I almost feel like, strangely, this burnout began after success, which is so weird, because you don't maybe think about it in that way. Why would it be weird? I don't think it's related to success or failure of burnout, is it?

It's about mental and physical load, right? Yeah, I guess I just always thought if I could do something successful, I'd like be happy and energized. Well, that's something to talk about in therapy. Oh, I do. Oh, I do. That is the crippling perfectionism of a former gifted child. Yeah, so I feel like it's much. All of that's happened.

It's all moving. I'd been working towards my debut album for like four or five years. obviously music's been in my life for like 20 years and there was quite a big come down afterwards. Yeah, okay. Well, so that's interesting. So you think the start of it was on the come down? Yeah.

And what do you mean? I'd given everything to music for 20 years. It's the only dream I've ever wanted. It's the only thing I've ever thought I'm good at. I thought I lost my chance in my 20s. I came back in my 30s. I make it happen in my 40s. I make it happen in my 40s.

And then the dream that I'd always had came true. They got a top 10 album. I sold out London, Kentish Town. Look, some people got bigger dreams than that. I didn't. That was like, oh, my God, my wildest dreams have just come true. And it was so awesome in the week that it was happening. And then when it was over, I was just hit with a scary, like, emptiness,

because is that all? I've given it every piece of me for 20 years. I've spent every bit of money I've ever earned. Not so much now because I'm with you, but what I did when I was young, the things that I've given up to pursue music, the obsessional nature that just needed to make it happen. It's never made sense to you.

And then it was like done. And I was left with this feeling of like, cool. So do I need to do it all again? Like, am I going to need to get a top five album and sell out Brixton? Like, what happens when your dreams come true? I was honestly like a little fish out of water. So I'm not going to challenge you because obviously I'm not in your head. It's really interesting.

So I can see why that would take a toll on your mental health, like achieving your dreams, have this feeling of emptiness. What I'm not seeing is the link to burnout. And I think it comes. It starts later than that. when maybe you take action of like what's next? Because I remember quite specifically, but I want to sort of...

So, yeah, okay. So maybe that was just like a post-success depression that I didn't see coming. Hello, like success at home matters more than external. I know that now. Learned it the hard way. But I think I felt so like empty and confused that I was like, right,

I just need to write another album and make it bigger and better. and throw myself into more creative projects. So I decided to write another album pretty soon after my first one was released. Yep. And I decided to write our third book. Oh, you're telling them that today. Don't tell anyone, guys. We haven't told anyone yet.

Last year. So that is a crazy decision. to write a book and an album at the same time. And I gave myself a few months deadline on each of those things. But bearing in mind I'm not feeling burnt out, all I'm feeling is, oh, the success curve is over. I must go again. And I was also like feeling okay.

Right, wait. Can I just, you know, you're not wrong. I just don't want to miss any level of detail. I'm using my brain, the power of myitism. Yeah. to get every single detail to just unearth. Right. So at the start of that,

it was a lot to take on a whole album to be written and a manuscript to be finished. You gave yourself a deadline. The problem with that, it was time. So I remember on a Monday morning, you go in, I need to book in every available day to the music studio to finish your album

at the same time as writing the book. So for a six to seven week period, there was not even a half an hour gap in your diary. And like think about previous episodes around your energy levels are like a roller coaster and you might need a day in bed, but then you can achieve three days working a day. You got rid of all of your rest time, all of it.

like every day. So like I just want to, I think that was important to bring up. Remembering that now, I do remember that conversation. And I remember feeling like invincible and just thinking like I can do it. I can power through.

It'll be a couple of months. I'll be fine. I can work hard. I think as someone with ADHD, you're always fighting the shadow of laziness. And in my 20s, like never getting anything off the ground, never achieving anything.

really, really struggling. So I'm like, I don't ever want to be thought of as lazy. I want to be seen as hardworking. And actually, I need some lazy days. I need days off. I do need days in bed. So all of my recharge time was taken away. It's like going to the gym seven days a week and never recovering.

So I was, and I was working on weekends as well. Yeah. There was also something else that you were doing, which was interesting. And it's not a criticism, but you were like gaslighting yourself. You were working this hard every single day. And you must have known because you were saying these words. You were like, I'm really tired. I'm working really hard.

Don't worry. I'm not like on the verge of burnout or anything. But I'll just get through it. It's just a busy period. You said that pretty much every day for six weeks. Sorry. First sign of a burnout is saying I'm really tired. Don't worry.

I'm not on the verge of a burnout. I'll just push through. really I should have known better but I didn't I just had this sense of like I can do it I'd like committed to these plans when I was feeling good and inspired and then the days came round and I was feeling empty and low and like sad and depleted but I'd already made those commitments so I then felt like I can't cancel studio days because I've got people that are working with me I can't cancel book writing days. I felt a lot of pressure. You didn't put pressure on me, but I didn't want to let you down because we had a deadline on the book. There was also late bloomer's going on and

Dubby going on and the ADHD love videos going on. Like there was so much going on. I'd taken on far too much. I thought I was invincible. I thought I could do it. And I almost felt like quitting would be giving up, would be falling behind, letting people down. down, letting myself down. So I just pushed through. And I sort of remember, like, knowing I left the bathtub on. Oh, there's a video on the internet about this. And I flooded the bathroom twice in two weeks. I did it once. We had a whole thing. I was like, oh my God. And then two weeks later, I did it again. Wait, it's not only, this isn't to make you feel bad. It's not just the bathroom that was flooded, we now need to repaint the ceiling of the room underneath the

bathroom, which is our lounge and kitchen. Sealing didn't fall through. So could have been worse. Winning. And I was looking at myself going, I'm falling apart. Like, I'm not a focused person anyway. I haven't got the best memory anyway, but I don't do that. I certainly don't do that twice in a row.

So there was like alarm bells. I was losing more stuff. I was getting more stuff wrong. I was falling behind. And then I just remember, like, my body one day just looked at all the work that I had to do and just sort of went, no, you can do one thing. So, sure, you can go in the studio and write a song, but you can't engage with ADHD love videos. You can't write the book. You can't be any use in Dubby.

So it was like my body just forced me to focus on one thing. And those one or two things was the book and the album. Everything else suffered. Everything else took a backseat. I was behind on email, on work, on ideas for the podcast, on ideas for Dubby. Where I'm normally like so engaged, I just, I checked out of life. I just want to reverse a moment because, about the bathtub.

Sorry, I will get to the present. But I don't think we should just pass over that because it's really important, like, it's really interesting because you don't leave the bathtub on and you did it twice in a week. Like, what was happening there? So my experience, and then I tell you the therapy conversation I had about it.

So my experience was, I wasn't even really in the bath. I was thinking about the next thing. I was drained. I've got to get out. I've got to get ready. I've got to get a studio. I've got to get out.

I've got to get ready. We're doing a filming day. I wasn't noticing that my eyes were half closed. I wasn't taking anything in. So, so, so distracted to the point of causing big problems in my own house. In therapy, I'm in psychodynamic therapy. so it's for anyone that doesn't know. It's very much about we interpret things.

We look for deeper meanings. We look for connections. One interpretation, so they interpret your behaviour and then you see if it fits. One interpretation was that subconsciously I was trying to communicate to you that I was drowning and things were really bad and I didn't know how to turn the tap off. so if I'm not able to say like, babe, I've, I need to stop. I need to quit making videos. I need to quit the podcast.

Not that I would have said that, but it could have come out. Yeah. But I'd never let you see that. I'd never, ever let you see me saying, I need to quit. That I found a way to tell you I need to quit because I'm drowning. And who knows, there was something interesting. and that for me. And by the way, this behaviour, if it's real at all, it would be subconscious. So it's not, you would not be aware of it. It is your subconscious.

And not particularly helpful because after you flooded it, you just felt worse about yourself. You didn't feel like, oh, that got the message across that I was struggling. You were like, oh my God, I'm useless. I can't even do the bath. I mean, yeah, subconscious drivers. And then so fast forward to your body one day going, no, I can't do all of this, I'm doing one thing at a time. For me, that's a really good, that's your body trying to protect you, right? Yeah. But it's so difficult because I suddenly became not very good at work.

And I take so much pride on being highly involved and quite obsessionally passionate about Dubby and the pod and the, and the, and the, videos that we make and the work that we do. And to have that just taken away, like, just turned off. It was like my energy source was just turned off. You can't care about those things anymore. And I think you did manage to communicate it with me because I know that we then went on holiday, but I can't remember how and why that happened. No.

Do you remember? Yeah. We went on holiday as a celebration of, of the months of hard work. It was like, we're going to get through it. I was about to go off on tour, touring the UK and Germany. So you were like, let's go on holiday.

We'll have 10 days away. Like you've been working so hard and before the tour we get quality time together. So it was a big celebration holiday. Oh, they're not going to know why I'm laughing. How did the holiday? Because obviously, right, you were burnt out. you need rest. What a perfect time to go on holiday to rest and sit on the balcony and sit on the

beach. And it was a lovely place we went to. So obviously that worked, right? Yeah. That is where I realised how bad it was because we got there. I actually felt really good. I had some sort of excitement. Our room was beautiful. We had a beautiful view of the sea. Probably day two. Just started feeling a little bit weird. Anxiety was in me.

Just this sense of like something's not right. And then came, I think, what I had been holding back, which was the tears. I hadn't let myself cry over how tired. I was because you don't cry, you work harder, don't be lazy. It was the narrative I was telling. That all stopped the moment the work stopped and I just fell apart and I started crying. On the beach in a beautiful hotel and I don't think I stopped. Did I cry every day?

I think so, yeah. It was more than that though. So this is really strange and forgive me if this is insulting or lands difficult or anything like that, but it's just from a, from an intriguing point of view, you were really sad and you were crying. But I also got this sense that you weren't grounded in reality. Like it was, it was quite chaotic the things that you were saying, didn't always make sense, wasn't, wasn't catastrophizing. It was like, you're not in the real world here. What's going on? I think I'd finally stopped. My body had just fallen apart.

part on holiday. And I was like, I can't do this. I'm on holiday. I'm letting you down again. I'm ruining the holiday. But I can't stop crying. And I was just looking at my life and just being like, I've ruined my life. I hate my life. I'm letting everyone down. I'm failing at work. I'm failing at music. I'm failing at the pocket. Like all I could see was failure being behind, being on the wrong path, messing up. Now, that is the burnout talking. Burnout feels when it's happening almost exactly the same as depression. Yeah. It's a total lack of interest or joy in things you used to like a deadening of the spirit.

I would describe it as the sky doesn't look blue anymore. The sky's gone grey. It was horrible when you're on holiday because the sky is bright blue. Yeah. You're still seeing it as grey. I just fell apart and I hated that I was falling apart. I couldn't like my body couldn't. hold on any longer.

And that's, yeah, and that's what I really remember. Obviously, the sadness, but also you like communicating that everything was ruined, where in reality, they were self-imposed deadlines that were maybe a week behind. Like, everything was fine. Can we just spend a second on that? Because this is important. My album deadline, which I self-release on my own label, is set by me.

Our third book that we're writing, we are self-releasing. The book deadline is set by us. I was beating myself up with deadlines that I had self-imposed. There was this strange, almost self-punishment going on. Like I was beating myself up.

I was forcing myself to suffer. It wasn't even beating yourself up. It was like, my life is over as a result of not meeting these deadlines that are made up. Like that's how, like that's what it sounded like to listen to though. I was like, what, it's all right, babe,

but it's just a week late. That's not a problem. Yeah, it's like I couldn't, I couldn't accept it. The minute I make an accommodation for myself, I'm falling behind, I'm failing,

I'm giving over to the burnout. Anyway, you can't beat burnout. No. You can't. Well, okay, so anyway, that didn't help. No.

What happened? Let's start getting to... So, yeah, cried all the way through the holiday. We had a tough time. We had to have... You were pretty much a sort of care. You were just like caring. I'm sorry.

I will take you on holiday somewhere lovely. I'm in no rush to go on holiday again. I know, you're scared now that I'm going to burn out on holiday. Yeah, it's hard. So I just felt so ashamed. And like, we've spent all this money. I've wasted all this time. Just awful,

felt awful. And I was coming back home to go off on tour. Touring is probably the most physically and emotionally taxing thing a person can do. Historically, it's been really hard for me even when I'm in an incredible mental state. So being in the depth of this

and facing coming back home and packing my bags and leaving for... And I didn't go with you this tour either. No, you weren't coming with me. Rocket wasn't coming with me. First time ever, two and a half weeks away.

It doesn't sound like a long time, but it really is. And it's not just going on tour. It's I need to go on stage and be a rock star. And I don't think I can do it. It was the first time ever since coming back to music, I was like, I don't think I can do my job. But obviously,

never going to cancel. I would never cancel a gig unless, I don't know, even when I broke my leg, you'd wheel me on stage. And I'd, sorry, I'm late, I broke my leg. So I knew I had to go and I was scared. So I was so scared. And the first few days of that tour, I couldn't sleep.

I was on a bus, sleeping in the back of a bumpy bus and I couldn't sleep. So I'm burnt out. I haven't got you and I'm not sleeping. And my mental health went like off. Further than I've sort of been in quite a few years. Yeah. And there's nothing you can do because you have a show tonight.

Yeah. In Southampton, in my hometown. Like, like, and I just had to turn on, thank God, I've got an alter ego. I had to turn on Rory because Rory doesn't get burnt out. Yeah. She's like endless energy and she's like yeah. And so I had to get rid of rocks. I had to fully embody the alter ego. It works for an hour and a half. And then crash out and cry. And I was pretty much crying the rest of the time. The band saw me crying. Went out for coffee with Pete. He's in the band for like a catch up. I just burst out crying. I was like, not very happy. I'm really struggling. And then the weirdest thing, like the weirdest thing. happened as the days went on, got through the first week. I started taking melatonin, so I started sleeping. The rest of the world, like when you're on tour, the world doesn't exist. There is no book. There's no album to finish. There's no podcast. There's no ADHD love. There's no dog.

There is only tour. It's a really strange, incredibly selfish, all-consuming place to be. But that helped me. Yep. I bet. Everything else was turned off. It had to be. And all I focused on was waking up, going for a wee in the venue, finding a coffee, sorting out my outfit, doing a sound check, doing security, playing a gig. Like, there was no choices to be made.

I had my schedule and I just did it. And that helped me feel better. I'm not kidding when I say, I came out of this burn. burnout on tour. And tour is horrendous. It's amazing, but it's horrendous. And that said to me, like, how bad it was.

If you are recovering in the back of the van on tour. Well, I think I don't know whether it's related to you, you being inattentive ADHD, and that's why it makes it slightly different. But for me, this whole process shows that for you to get to burnout, it's all mental load. It's all overwhelm and stimulus. Because like physically, we're going to the gym every day.

We've never been more active physically and you feel great. So it's all mental. So it doesn't actually, when you think about it through that lens, doesn't surprise me because I would say after tour, you were completely fine. Before tour, I was like, she's not going to make it through this. I didn't say that to you, obviously, but that's how I felt after living with you. You did say I'm really worried about you on tour. I'm really worried.

So was I. And then I came back from tour and I was like, babe, I feel better. Crazy. But yeah, you're right. So actually, the fact that I was tired jumping around on stage, there was no mental load. I wasn't doing any mental work at all other than remembering the lyrics. God, that's, because I've never understood why. How the hell of I come out of burnout on tour, which is the most burning out place ever?

There's no mental load. It makes perfect sense when you think about it like that. Like you have a lot, with your spice of ADHD, you have a lot going on in your head anyway. To double that or triple that load self, like it's going to be overwhelming. It was like a rock star retreat. Yeah.

All you were doing was pretending to be a rock star every day for two and a half weeks. And it was kind of a retreat. Everything else turned off. And like, thank God because, thank God, because I don't know how it would have been if I hadn't started to feel better. We were going all over the UK, went to Germany for the first time.

It is like taxing. You don't want to let the band down. You don't want to let the crew down. You don't want to let the fans down. So I'm very, very grateful that I kind of got through that. Came back home and was like, right, something has to change because this has been quite scary.

Something has to change. So we actually had like quite. a relaxing December. Yeah, we do. A lot more walks saying no to everything. I changed my own

album deadline. We changed the book dead. We were like, let's just give you more time. And everything's finished now, pretty much. The book is finished in the final edits.

My album, I'm like on the last song, but I'm enjoying it again. I'm like, my brains come back and my joys come back. And I'm so grateful because when you go through burnout,

you think you're going to lose it forever. And there's nothing scarier than like waking up and just thinking, oh no, I can't. That was my thought every morning, oh no, I can't do this. And I looked in my calendar, I can't do this every day. So the one thing that I will say, my final point. Yeah. I want you to remember this episode this time.

Because the risk that we've got is that when you, you are feeling your best and when you're your most relaxed, you're also your most creative and you'll want to be starting new businesses and new ideas. So it's going to be me saying no more as well. Permission to speak. Yeah. In December, true to form, I decided it was time to start a substack of writing because I love writing. Of course you did. So I started a substack And I was like, in my head, I was like, it's absolutely, isn't the time. I was like, I'm fine. I feel good.

And then I remembered, I was like, no, no more projects. Protect your energy. Remember what's happened. No substat this year. And if you want to start a substack, then are you stepping away from Dubby? Are we not doing the podcast anymore? Do you want to quit music? Something would have to give.

So I am looking into 2026 to complete the commitments that I have got, not take on anymore. And in fact, keep my weekends. Yep. Keep going for walks. Keep having Sunday roasts. And, you know, it does make me giggle. We've had a burnout episode last year. I probably went into it.

Like, I need to go and look at when that episode was. And the fact that I didn't listen and I did it again. And look, I guess the message is, yes, look for the signs. If it feels that depression, if the sky isn't blue, if you're super tied, can you slow down? can you not get there, make sure self-care, sleep, eating healthy vitamins, all the stuff I'm doing now, that must come first. Look after yourself first.

But if you're going through one or you've been through one, just know you're going to be okay. You do come out the other side. You do get yourself back. You do come back and you get another chance to take care of yourself and your life. So here we go. Beautifully put.

And on that note, thanks for, listening. Hope you have enjoyed the episode. Hope you are not burning out. If you have experienced it, we'd love to know in the comments. If you've liked it, like, like, subscribe, share, follow, all of those sorts of things. And we will see you next week.