LATE BLOOMERS - TIME MACHINE: What would you say if you had five minutes with your younger self?

Episode Date: October 22, 2025

If you could travel back in time, what would you tell your 18, 25, and 35-year-old self? In this episode, Rich and Rox climb into the metaphorical time machine to revisit the versions of themselves who were lost, reckless, hopeful, and still figuring it all out. From first heartbreaks to career chaos, from finding purpose to learning how to love — they explore what they’d do differently, what they’d do exactly the same, and what every version of them most needed to hear. This is a conversation about perspective, forgiveness, and the surprising beauty of hindsight.

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This week, we are going back in time to when we were 18, 25 and 35 a long time ago. Yeah, longer for some. And we are going to be given five minutes to talk to ourselves at that age. And what we would say, this is the late bloomer's podcast. Well, we are getting our lives together eventually. We, Rocket Sit. We have got a special guest this week. I think it's a terrible idea

just for the record which is Rocket our little dog who's joining us Stop trying to get him on that seat He's not going to stay there We've had a dog bed Since we started the podcast

Almost a year ago And he's never once been in No I've got some treats here So I'm feeling confident He's one year old now Okay So let's see how it goes

Are you ready for the time machine episode Let's go Let's do it Do you understand The premise of it? No. Well, if you start, then I'll get it when I'll pick it out. No, so let me explain it to you because it's also for the listeners. So we've got a time machine and we're able to go back in time to when we were 18, 25 and 35. And you get a few minutes with

that version of you to chat to them, give them some advice. Not stock market advice, presumably, is that not what we're going? I love that's where your brain goes to. Is that not what you would say? No, I was more thinking like love and care and get to therapy. Maybe you could do stock market advice. Let's find out. So we're going to start with you.

Wow, okay. And we encourage all of our lovely late bloomers and listeners to do the same thing. Imagine when you were 18, if you could go back and have a. few minutes what would you want to hear and need to hear um so where were you at 18 let's set the scene first of all so i was working as a personal banker at a bank sat on the what's a personal banker just like a like a seller for the bank like a salesperson no face to face if people walked into a banker needed help with whatever their bank accounts or whatever um i was a new dad Oh my God

You just had say I did you I was married Right With a child Okay With no real money So yeah That's the scene setting bit

Okay So the first bit of advice Would be strap in Yeah Strap in Okay yeah You're going To go through a bit of a difficult period

of life, but keep going. Is that being a teenage dad, like? Yeah, and having no money. I don't know what else I would say. You're giving me five minutes for this. Well, a few minutes. You've gone back in time. 18 year old you is there.

You've got a few minutes to impart whatever wisdom you can on little teenage rich. Yeah. So my advice would be maybe to stay away from gambling. because it's the dark side and and drink you might drink too much all of it is because you're sort of on this treadmill trying to get through life there's some stuff that you probably need to see a therapist about so do that earlier because obviously I waited till 33 um but yeah just like probably give myself a bit of a pat on the back because you know, it's really difficult.

No money. Yeah, you got it. That's what I would say. So pat on the back, maybe a cuddle. Yeah. Don't start gambling. Watch the drink and get to therapy. That feels pretty succinct.

How do you think 18-year-old you would react to someone saying, like, strap in? Well, firstly, how would I react to me traveling back in time and speaking to me? I can't say for sure how exactly I would react. Right, yeah. I think, firstly, I think it was a dream. Yeah, you'd be freaked out, wouldn't you? But let's assume that it would be normal to speak to my 40-year-old self. Firstly, I would say, I'm going to grow my hair because I look better and I love the tattoos.

Do you think teenage you would see you and go, wow? Or do you think it'd be like, oh, mate, you've let yourself go? No, I don't think so. smart short back and sides no i i think i had a little puffy face you know you had little baby you had baby fat on each other i'd be like that's you're killing that like i i reckon i aged like a wine i got a bit better so that would be my first reaction okay um i don't know would i listen to me like does any 18 year old listen to an elder few I think.

And to be honest, like part of me, this is so deep, but part of me like is glad of the mistakes that I made because you learn from your mistakes.

Do you what I mean? Yeah, of course. I think that's a lovely way to see it. Okay. Thanks for sharing. What about you then? To me,

very different. So 18, I would have been in my first year of uni. I've just moved out and with Slaffer and all my mates. Yeah. at uni that you know

but also it was the year that my mum first got cancer so I don't know I don't know what would I say well you didn't think this episode very didn't me? No because I'm like

would I tell myself that she's going to die in three years and to move home? Probably what moved back with your mum I think so because I would only have had three years and I should have definitely moved back in my last year my parents were like no We don't want you here. Don't come back.

Finish uni. And I was just like, rabbit and headlights, okay. So I missed the last year of her life, even when I knew it was terminal, which is a big regret of mine. Yeah, okay. But say you were the mum, would you want your then-daughter to drop out of uni? Well, I don't know, because she obviously wouldn't want me to ruin my life. but I ruined my life by not spending that last year with her so like I think we all had our priorities a bit wrong

like nothing's worth more than family you don't use your degree either do you I don't use my degree politics and philosophy is it actually politics and philosophy wow wow I mean I'm a very deep philosophise about you you are yeah okay so move back with mum I would say that I'd say move back with mum I think that would have been lovely to have those three years with her, be there for her, support

her. So that would be a big one. I'd probably say, look, you are very much into like dating and sleeping around girls and boys. You've got some issues in that department. you've seen some things when you were younger that have distorted your view of relationships and if you don't sort that out you've got 20 years of just disasters or 15 years of disasters to come I've got another one

which is maybe obvious you might have said it but you might want to say you know you struggle with timekeeping and making the bed and your room being tidy you might want to explore ADHD. My God. How have I not gone back?

How have I gone back in a time machine to 18-year-old me? And the first thing I've said is not you have ADHD. So therefore, you probably shouldn't be moving out of home and living alone until you've got support. You aren't actually the worst person alive. All these struggles that you have, there's a reason. Here's how you can get support. But had I have said that, my mum would still be dying and my dad would still be. think ADHD isn't real, so I don't know whether.

But you would think more of yourself, I think. Well, my mum probably would have believed it and probably supported me, actually, even though she was ill. I probably would have had some good mumming in those three years. So, yeah, I should have said that first. Yeah. Oh, my God. So, yeah, don't go to uni, spend your next three years with your mum because you haven't got long, and you've got ADHD.

Okay, I like it. I thought I thought the time machine episode would be like really lighthearted like fun episodes Well listen you've picked 25 next I'm like is she doing this on purpose Because the next one is

I've just got divorced I'm moving out To Wait is that real I just picked it because it was like 18, 25, 35 mathematically they felt like the numbers Okay

Okay, so it could be a little bit more fun though. So can you set the scene for us at 25? Okay, so on 25, I have just got divorced. It's not funny. I am just about to move into my first flat by myself, two-bedroom flat in Old Basin, a little village outside Basin. So it was quite a nice flat actually. but I also

I didn't really know I didn't know how to cook a joint of meat I didn't know how to use I didn't know how to use Why is that I don't know how to cook a joint of meat now Why is that the like number one Because I don't know I just didn't know how to do it

Is that what you learnt first Like muscle to cook a joint of meat? Not the dishwasher washing machine I didn't know how to use a washing machine Oh no So like yeah But So it was my first

Probably first ever um because people can say i was independent at 18 but i wasn't like i was married and a lot of that housework she would do so i worked and you know i was responsible for bills and stuff but actual independence living alone looking after myself ironing shirts you'd never done that i'd never done it like yeah so had you did your mum do it when you were younger yeah so you literally from your mum doing it to my wife to your wife so you'd never done it that's mad because now you'll do everything amazing all that stuff yeah i don't iron you haven't got a wife that does that now i don't iron i just chose a job though i don't have to wear a shirt no um so what would i say

bloody hell see this is quite tough for me so okay so you're going into old bazing to your little flat you're learning how to cook a joint of meat um what don't don't don't make fun of me. I remember it. So it must be a core memory. So don't laugh. Sorry. Sorry. It's funny because it was the first thing that you went to. That's all. Right. So my challenge to that is like you laughing and going, well, I don't know how to go. Remember I was a dad also. So I couldn't do microwave meals and stuff. I needed to cook wholesome food. I shouldn't have laughed at you wanting to cook a join the meat. Cup of water in the bottom of the on the pan. the trick? Yeah, really helps. Okay. So you've got a few minutes with that version. Okay, so I'm just

going to assume that I have now learned how to cook a joint of meat. Or else you'll be doing a cooking lesson. Listen, mate, I've come back from the future. Something really important. You need to know. Cup of water. 200 degrees. It's your time machine. I think it's probably more important things to talk about, though. What are they? Like, you've got this. It's a really important time in your life. Make the most of it's going to feel really tough.

Like, money is tight. But I worked really close. I was going through my early midlife crisis at 25. I had a little two-seat of sports convertible sports car. You didn't. But you had a divorce at 25 in bought a sports car. Yeah. Oh, babe, no.

Yeah, big time. At least it's out your system, though, so I don't think I've got to worry. No, I'm motorbike next. You're not. I'm joking. I'm joking. I just don't have to wind you up. Right.

Anyway, so what would I say? Another different period, but you're just about to like learn yourself. Watch the drink. If you didn't listen to me at 18, listen to me now. Watch the drink and gambling. You reiterate that. Just in case I had ignored. 40-year-old me.

Yeah, okay. And I'd say, firstly, it's been a while, I haven't seen you in seven years. I'm back because you've ignored everything that I've told you so far. Yeah. Yeah, probably the same thing. Would you get a cuddle and a... And like, a hug. Come on, give him some emotion availability.

What's the point of all the therapy if you can't go back and give a thing? Well, again, that would be probably the exact same conversation. it'd be like if you haven't done it yet get yourself into therapy let's have a cuddle let's have a cry I know it's really hard um and try to to direct myself onto onto that path of being a little bit more of emotionally vulnerable and healthy and cooking joints of meat what about you 25 I bet you didn't know how to bloody cook a joint of meat. No, that could be the first thing you say.

I still didn't. So I was somewhere in London. I think I was living in Soho. I was working in music. I think I'd left my job in the bank. I probably had a girlfriend. I was drinking a lot and taking a lot of suburb. and like trying to make it in music.

Okay. So what would you say? So I'd say I would be very serious about substances and just be like you guys I've taken this way too far. This isn't good for mental health. You have got no money. So rain that in. There's reasons you've lost your mum only a couple of years ago.

You're struggling. You're very alone. in London. You're desperately trying to make it music, but you need to look after yourself and your mental health. We need to look at the finance situation because you're going to get yourself in a lot of trouble and keep getting evicted.

Would 25-year-old you listen to all of that? I think if I was like firm and kind, she's probably quite bold over that I'm like back from the future. Do you like the blue hair? You didn't have blue hair. at 25 did you? No, I had brown hair. You know, like, what you had, I think she'd be like, I'm going to dye my hair half blue and get some more tattoos. I think that was maybe when I got my first tattoo. What, 25? I was in my 20s, yeah, my first let it be tattoo. So I think she'd be

happy how we ended up looking a lot more weird. But, you know. That's actually a really good point. I think 18 and 25 year old me would have a lot of questions because they would be like, you seem happy, you seem chill, how did you get there? I think it would be the other way around. Or would they be like, you're well boring. We always promise we'd never have a normal life. What are you doing? Maybe.

I think I'd also say, look, you're giving everything to music. Actually, eventually one day this is going to work out, but it's a really long road. and I just want you to know all the ups and downs it's not tied to yourself worth you get to look after yourself and be safe and I'd want to say

like go to therapy and go meet a nice person and settle down but like I wasn't read like it's all come at the right time hasn't it? So I think I'd just have to encourage her to maybe yeah

less substances and okay what's the next stage? Hopefully it's not a 35 So only five years ago? Yeah. All right.

Had I left the bank then? No. So I was working in the bank. We were together though. That wouldn't happen for another year though. So you were working in the bank. We were quite new. I don't know what I would say to five years ago, me.

Because that feels like me, me. Well, no. You'd like probably hadn't even been to GA yet. You would add a couple of months of not drinking. You'd done a tiny bit of therapy and then left. It would be like you're on the right path. Like keep going. You're making some really good decisions.

I'm proud of you, probably. It would be more like, it wouldn't be loads of advice to change direction. It would be loads of encouragement and support and pride. Like you're doing really hard things. Wow. Yeah. So that's the first time. So at 35, you'd be like,

You're on the right chat now, mate. Yeah. It's tough. You've had a bit of a mad one. Let's keep going. See you still, like, because I've had lots of tattoos in the last five years. My hair would have been on that awkward stage of starting to grow. Yeah, I don't know if you'd started to grow it yet.

We'd only been together. When was COVID? Was that five years ago? No. Yeah, it was COVID. The end. It was the end of 20, 5 years ago. So, like, my hair would have been starting to grow.

I'd be like, look, I know it's awkward, but keep at it. It suits you. Keep going for the tattoos. Keep going for the hair growth. Yeah. Keep off the drink. Your skin's starting to look better. Like, you're doing it.

And I wouldn't say, by the way, if you get drawn to make social media content, grab old of it. Because 35-year-old me would be like, shut up, mate. I've got, I don't even know how to use Instagram. I always remember you had six Instagram pictures. all blurry when we met didn't use TikTok at all you were real dad you were such a like middle age dad I think I was young at 35 but

you're not middle age at 35 are you? No but you were older than your years Yeah old bones Old bones Rocket, come Sit stay Good boy

He's working he's done really well 20 minutes he's been sat here. Yeah, that's good. I've got two treats left, so I'm... This might be a shorter episode, guys, but... What about you at 35, then? Me at 35. Because I'm older than you.

We hadn't met. Stop it. We were just about to meet, in it? If we had just met when I was 35, that's obviously a shorter time ago than when you were 35. Just bring that up all the time. Well, it's like over a year. a year. Let's assume that we haven't met. We're just about to. Because that's a bit more fun,

isn't it? Well, actually, no, because if yours was 2020, mine would have been 2019. Oh my God, that year changed. Oh my God, sorry. So I would be like, you have to move out your friend's spare room and you're feeling really low and rubbish because you're 35 and you can't afford 300 pound rent and you're alone and you're single and you're in debt. How long you've been sober for? Like a year. Right. I'd be like, but you, everything is about, like, everything is about exchange.

Everything. Definitely when your cousin says, do you want to come and stay in my spare room, say, yes because the day you move in you're going to meet the love of your life and then you're going to be out of debt you're going to music's going to start working you're going to find out you've got ADHD that's going to make loads of sense you're going to start an ADHD TikTok somehow there's going to be millions of people

I've got a big problem with this go on so Doctor Strange in Infinity War yeah after the battle in Thanos's home planet looked into the future 14 million odd futures

and Tony Stark Iron Man says what happened he said if I tell you what's going to happen it won't happen Oh no So now I know I'm getting a bit deep now Okay But if you go and spill all of the beans

I mean look Jesus I know this wasn't the idea of the episode, but I think we've changed everything already. I don't think we should go back and talk to our younger selves, to be honest. I think it's a terrible idea. Because you'd be different. It's like the butterfly effect. What about if you didn't give anything away?

I guess you could because I'd see your hair colour. I mean, look, if I saw 40-year-old me standing in front of me at 18, that's going to change my life. Well, you're probably going to go religious or turn into a nut job. Oh, this whole episode. Listen, let's just, I've got a philosophy degree, remember, so let's just look at it through a philosophical episode. Okay, fine.

Let's assume that's not going to happen, so don't worry, guys. So I might have not given the game away, but I'd be like, please stay alive for another year because life is about to do a colossal 180, like the biggest 180 ever. You'll be out of debt. You're going to find love.

Come a step-mom. Yeah. become an ADHD mummy on the internet is all. Yeah, okay. It's all very strange. I love it. I'd give that little version of me a little hug, say I'm very, very proud because she was walking through some very tough days alone.

Okay, so I've got a fun one. All right, fine. And I don't think this breaks any of your laws. And this is the last thing that we're going to discuss. Okay. 60 year old you. 60. comes back to you now

what do you think they would say to you now being like older and wiser and firstly I'd say to them look I know you like growing your hair but it's time for a bit of a trim now it's a bit long what do you think six year old

maybe I've got longer hair maybe I'm clinging on to a youthful look a little bit too much at 60 do you reckon yeah so like I think I look alright now but I don't do I mean when I say like the 60 year olds

that try and look really young but they're quite clearly not I think I would want to embrace 60 but anyway it's not about that come back what would they say to me now how am I expected to answer that

well it's philosophical exercise I haven't got a philosophy degree because it's very easy in life to think that where we are now is the finished product. Even though we've got all this advice for us at 18, 25 and 35, that will be the same in 10 years' time. So we'll be doing things not wrong now,

but there'll be things to learn from. Okay, okay. Think what I would say is look, working hard is great, keep going, but make sure you make time to spend time in the garden and do the things you love because life is too short. because I feel like when you're 60, obviously you're still, you're not old, old,

but I reckon I'd be thinking more about how long have I got left. And I can't run around and do all of these things. So it would be like probably you've got the whole world in front of you, make the most of making memories. Do you like that one? That's good. I thought that was good. Imagine if we stuck out at CrossFit, though.

And 60-year-old you came back. Just head shredded. Just gritted. Yeah, maybe. It could happen. Wow, that was so good. I think 60-year-old me, I struggle with imagining myself at 60 because my mum passed at 52. I'm like, I've struggled to know what I might be like when I'm older.

But I imagine 60-year-old me would say that I could chill out a bit. And life isn't all about proving yourself. or working or catching up, I'm always like, I've got to make it music because I wasted all those years or we need to work so hard and do that, like live a little, take the holidays, buy the little treats, yeah, make memories, go out for dinners, go to bowling with the kids, cherish the kids, oh my God, because they're going to be so old, they're going be adults so like love them and have loads of fun with them yeah maybe just chillax and obviously work hard because i think 40 year old us has got to work hard so 60 year old us

can hopefully yeah not be working so hard yeah maybe they'd come back and be like cracking the whip like keep going maybe i want the mortgage paid off by the time of 60 maybe yeah um okay late bloomers our first episodes featuring beautiful Rocket the Dog who's done very, very well like a very good boy

let us know what advice would you give to yourself at 18, 25 and 35 thank you for hanging out with us as ever and we'll see you

next week or back when you were 18 so we can time travel wow, stop you know