Lateral with Tom Scott - 100: Painting the shark

Episode Date: September 6, 2024

Dan Schreiber, James Harkin, Anna Ptaszynski and Andrew Hunter Murray from 'No Such Thing As a Fish' face questions about farcical facials, rapid rides and steep smiles. LATERAL is a comedy panel game podcast about weird questions with wonderful answers, hosted by Tom Scott. For business enquiries, contestant appearances or question submissions, visit https://lateralcast.com. HOST: Tom Scott. QUESTION PRODUCER: David Bodycombe. EDITED BY: Julie Hassett at The Podcast Studios, Dublin. MUSIC: Karl-Ola Kjellholm ('Private Detective'/'Agrumes', courtesy of epidemicsound.com). ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS: Marc Lesan, Marcio Barcelos. FORMAT: Pad 26 Limited/Labyrinth Games Ltd. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: David Bodycombe and Tom Scott. © Pad 26 Limited (https://www.pad26.com) / Labyrinth Games Ltd. 2024. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who might have a Neptune's cocktail followed by a sand facial? The answer to that at the end of the show. My name's Tom Scott, and this is LATTRAL. Welcome to a landmark edition of LATTRAL, as this is our 100th episode! Woo! Hooray! Yes! Woop woop! Thank you! Thank you for your enthusiasm!

To mark the occasion, I am delighted to have some very special guests here. All the team from the hit podcast No Such Thing As A Fish, welcome to all of you. Hi Tom! Hello! Hello! Hey there. Unfortunately, in honour of our guests, our party caterers have taken things to heart, so please do help yourself to the No Such Thing As Fish buffet of empty chowder, vacuum

thermidor and nothing and chips. While that slowly congeals in the corner, let's enjoy the feast of quick wits that we have today. Welcome to the show. I know our question writers and editor are terrified because of just how many things you have talked about over the years. Does someone—and we've got four guests. I'm terrified. I've never dealt with four guests at the same time. So I'm going to throw it out. Can someone talk about Fish, the podcast? What

do you all do? Go on, Anna. Oh, come on. I don't know, I'm just along for the ride. We are a podcast dealing in interesting facts, which I realize is also what you do. So every week the four of us get around our microphones and we tell each other our four favourite facts we found that week. And then we have researched each other's facts and we try to out-fact each other. It's facty. It's fact from start to finish. I've just realised that at some point I should mention your names, so thank you, Al Jouzinski.

James Harkin, where can people find the podcast? I think you can find it on the internets. I know you're an expert on internets, Tom, so you already know, but people at home might not. Both those internets? Both of them. If you go to places where they put podcasts and you search for No Such Thing As A Fish, you will find us. And Dan Schreiber, what sort of facts have you been covering recently?

Ooh, well, God, there's so many interesting ones. We have one that I read in a comedy book by a man called Hung Lee, an Australian comedian who, while on a cruise ship, discovered that the snooker tables don't use round balls but flat balls. You play snooker with flat balls on a cruise. Not all cruises, but his particular one. It's that kind of stuff we talk about. And finally, the first time I've had to introduce a fourth guest, Andrew Hunter Murray, why are you all looking up facts all the time? What's the background to FISH? Well, we all met through working on QI, which is a British TV show. And so we were used to looking up facts, we were used to, you know, just being great pals in the office.

And we thought, let's professionalise these work friendships. And that was 10 years ago, we haven't looked back since. In many ways we're more professional than we are friends now. That's how well it's gone. Well, this is the very first time we've had five people on a call for a show like this. I am not sure if our infrastructure is going to cope. We may have to use the principle of like, and the little one said, roll over, roll over. But while we are all under the same remote-call duvet, let's snuggle up with question one.

In the UK, how can a smile cost you 20% extra? I'll give you that one more time. In the UK, how can a smile cost you 20% extra? Okay, well, British people don't like smiling, I think. If the London Underground has taught me anything. Yeah. So it could be something to do with that. The fact that, you know, we're so reserved in Britain.

Or is it to do with the fact that if you smile in a purchasing, bartering situation, then you seem like you're a soft touch. And so people are just going to sell you something more. You know, you look around a house, you're too smile yes that's true and the estate agent thinks well this person's a chump they're just grinning away I actually when I'm queuing if I'm bartering in a market which I haven't done for a couple years now admittedly but if you go to a market and you know or a secondhand a car boot sale whatever it's important that you make clear that the thing that you say you want to buy

you actually think is is is rubbish say you want to buy you actually think is rubbish. So you have to really, you have to say how much are these awful coasters? I say two quid. You say I'm not going to go a penny over 10p. So maybe yeah, like Anna says, if I was smiling, I'd end up paying the two quid. That's true. I was in Marrakesh quite recently and I bought a bracelet, one of the bracelets that I'm

wearing right now. And the guy said how much it was, I can't even remember how much it was, let's say it was five quid. And I was like, oh, I paid 20 quid for that in the UK. And so I just gave him 20 quid. Wow. You chump. You chump.

You've completely destabilised that market. Is it to do with private dental work? I'm thinking that if you have extreme dental problems and you need a tooth fix. Now, I need to go to the dentist. My teeth are terrible right now, but there's one specific one that I want fixed. I don't want them to touch the rest of them. If I go and they say, give us a smile, and my 20% wider smile exposes my hidden bad teeth, I'm now duped by my own face. I like that. Yeah. Because you can't say no to a dentist once they've suggested it.

It's awful. We're all going to lock that in, Tom as our answer. This is actually kind of a mean-spirited and very technical rule here. When I say 20%, it is exactly 20%. You know what I was thinking just then is, and I think this is probably wrong now, but do you remember there was a comedy show where they had cameras on you and the amount that you laughed depending on how much you had to pay? Do you remember that?

Right. Wow. I've never heard of that one. Yeah, I don't think it lasted very long. This is live audience comedy show, I guess. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Did you get a discount for laughing or did you get charged more for laughing? Because that feels like a perverse incentive when you want an audience that's engaged.

It does, doesn't it? Because you're basically going to sit there, tell your jokes and everyone's deliberately not going to laugh. I'm just thinking, what's 20%? VAT. VAT is 20%. So am I being charged VAT for being smiley? Is there a, you know how sort of bread is... Is this in the new Russia's New Year's Manifesto? But if it's, do you know what I mean? Like, you know how bread is not VAT'd, but luxury goods like cakes are. I'm just trying to think what is a good where the standard version doesn't have a smile, and the luxury one does have a smile.

That's nice. That's exactly right. Okay, so like... That's right. Oh, okay. Do we need to say... can we say what the product is? Oh, I feel like at this point I'm going to ask you to drill down and find what product might become a luxury good when it's got a smile on it.

Oh, is it when you go for old Victorian photos where you're not allowed to smile and the print costs? That's it. That's it. I think I might know it maybe. Anna, do you know it? Well, I've got a guess, which I think might be this... No. Is it passport photos? Oh, no, it's not. They're not eligible. But I can see why you'd go for that. Like, you're required not to smile in them. Exactly, because I was like, as soon as you smile in that photo, then it's no longer a necessity.

It's just a luxury. You're just getting it for fun, aren't you? Oh, they put a little bit of programming in the photo booth that detects a smile and charges you VAT for it. I hate that idea. I love that. It's not quite right. And Andy, you were a lot closer with breads and cakes and things like that.

So I've listened to this podcast quite a lot. And I think one of the most embarrassing things is when someone says they think they know it and they're absolutely nowhere near it. But I'm going to throw it out there. Is it to do with gingerbread men? It is absolutely to do with gingerbread men. That is the right answer. Yes, they do not attract VAT if they have just a couple of dots for eyes. It is absolutely to do with gingerbread men, that is the right answer. Yes, they do not attract VAT if they have just a couple of dots for eyes, but as soon as there's any decorative icing, as soon as there's a smile or anything like that, they

are a luxury product and that gets 20% VAT. Because like, a gingerbread man without a smile in, that's a necessity, isn't it? We all need those day to day. Specifically, by the way, it's chocolate decoration. That is the specific thing that trips it over to a chocolate biscuit that is a luxury good. Any gingerbread man with chocolate on as well as the gingerbread is, to me, an insanely decadent choice. I think there's a 50% tax on that. Who's putting chocolate on gingerbread men? Also, is it smile by necessity, or if they look angry, then do you get the 20% deducted again?

Or shocked? Any chocolate decoration, whatever it is, that tips it over. Each of our guests has brought a question along with them, and this time I have less work to do because we have the four guests. We will start today with James whenever you're ready. Okay, my question was sent in by Marc LeSan, or Leeson. Marc, anyway. And he asked, In 2013, a shop in downtown Malaga, Spain,

was converted into a tapas bar called Genaro. Why was the final letter of its name the only capital? And I'll read that again. In 2013 a shop in downtown Malaga, Spain was converted into a tapas bar called Genaro. Why was the final letter of its name the only capital? Riddle me this! Okay! Now, now, I've been to Malaga not so long after this tapas bar opened. Uh oh. And it's a very nice town. It's lovely. It's in the south.

It's got a big church. It's got a big church. It's, it's churches. This is the only thing I know or remember is that this church is called La Manquita, right? And it's because it means she who lacks something like Monquet, we would say in English or rather in French. And it's because they've finished one of the towers of the cathedral, right? He's padding here guys. He's padding. No, no, here, guys. He's padding.

No, no, no. The capital at the end. So it's named like the One-Armed Lady, because it's only got one tower finished and one tower isn't finished. So is it that? Is that the answer? No, it's nothing to do with that. I have been to Malaga once with a friend, mostly to tour around the rest of that bit of southern Spain. We barely saw the town. But because of Malaga's reputation, just as we get to the end of the trip, we're on a viewpoint high above the city, and he just

pulls out these two bright orange t-shirts he's had made with Lads on Tour, just so we can get the Lads on Tour photo at the top of the mountain. Okay, these are all great anecdotes, guys, but we're not getting closer to the answer. Ooh, okay. I think I actually know the answer, so I'm gonna just play around for a bit. And it's obviously... I think I do, yeah.

Okay. I don't know how it will... It's more likely, with more guests, and with your background between you. We're expecting that. So it won't make sense what I'm thinking, but I want you to know I've got it. You're the only person here who's never been to Malaga. I've been to Malaga.

All right. What? Or Malaga, as I call it. Everything's capital at the end, I believe. I've never been, but I... So usually you get a capital at the end, I believe. I've never been but I so usually you get a capital at the start of word. I think that's right. And therefore is the end the beginning as in is it back is everything backwards there? Is it like, I was thinking it was a reversed word or something like that. Yeah, this is okay. This I'll lay out my my answer now as well. My mom and dad when they lived in Hong Kong, the very first street they lived on was called Redneck Cellar Road. And no one knew what that meant.

Wasn't a Chinese word, wasn't an English word, it was a nothing word. Redneck Cellar. What was going on there? And it turned out that it was meant to be called Alexander Road. But I just wrote that down. I can't quite think about the person who was painting the sign Onto the wall use the Chinese system of writing from right to left. And so it was Alexander But when you read it, it is rednecks seller. So that was going to be my suggestion as well a reversed word What was the what was the word again? So the word is?

general Can you spell it for us please? It's G-E-N-A-R-O. G-E-N-A-R-O. That's nearly orange backwards, but not quite. It's Oroneg. Oh, okay. Was it that this newly opened place was running on limited budget and the previous place's sign ended with a giant capital O, and they thought we can save on the money by just, you know, getting the first few letters printed and we'll just attach it to the old one. Did you see the place that took over the old Foyles Bookstore on Charing Cross Road in London? Uh-huh.

It was just a generic tat shop just selling tourist stuff. And what they did is they took out a couple letters and it just says, Oh, yes. They just used the Y-E-N-S from Foils. It's just called, Oh, yes, Nath. That's really interesting. There's a Thai restaurant in London, there's a few of them called Rose's Thai, and they began, I think, on Brick Lane, and they were just in... There was like a bistro called Rose's, and they started their new shop there,

and they were like, okay, what should we call it? They couldn't afford a new sign. And so they just kept the name. So you are all very close here, but I'm not going to give it to you because I want a little bit more. Yeah. Okay. Are we onto something with it being backwards? You're onto something with almost everything you've said apart from your bit about the church at the start. I feel like that'll come in somehow.

So it's nearly the word orange backwards. Or a neg. Or a neg. Or a neg. Or a neg. Is that negging? Negging is the thing that the kids do these days. It's negging you if you can't understand it.

It's the thing they were doing in 2006. Alright. Maybe it is like the foils thing, that it was a previous sign, it's not backwards, but it's an anagram. It's the only word they could make out of orange. Or a... There's an American chain called Orange Julius,

or something like that. It's not reversed, it's just that hennaro is a word in Spanish, I don't know if it is, and that was the word they could make out of it. He's got it. I didn't even know it. No, no, that's right. I mean, if you listen to this podcast, Tom always gets it in the end. That's the end of these shows. That's not true! That is true. So it's Orange Orange as in the mobile phone seller.

Oh! So there's a big sort of shop on the corner in this place in Malaga and they took over the place where the Orange store was and they couldn't afford their own sign and so they just called it Genalo. That's so good. Anna, it's over to you for the next question. Why does the Liberty Puzzles Company have photos of hundreds of dogs on their wall,

none of which they've ever met? There's a lot to work with. Why does the Liberty Puzzles Company have photos of hundreds of dogs on their wall, none of which they've ever met? Does anyone here know the liberties puzzle company no Thanks, so no, okay? I've heard of dogs as a good start and I have heard of puzzles. Yeah

Is it like a Liberty puzzles? It sounds like it might be one of those is it an American? like Sort of prepper puzzle company. It's like puzzles for after the end of the world. I think I have heard of these actually. They used to be called French puzzles, but during the war they changed them to Liberty puzzles. Yeah, yeah, it's political correctness.

It's gone mad. Is it a wall of fame in that somehow these dogs solved these puzzles? That's so extraordinary. They've made it onto the wall. I can tell you it's almost the opposite of that. So the dogs are stupid, they haven't solved the puzzles. It's puzzles for cats and these are the idiot dogs that couldn't even... I've only just... So in my head, these were jigsaw puzzles. And that's purely because I know someone who runs a YouTube channel

entirely about jigsaw puzzles, and so a puzzle in my head is, like, connected to that. But I've just realized that puzzle is actually a lot wider than that. This could be any... This could be, like, the sort of puzzle you get in a newspaper. This could be an escape room puzzle. I think Andy was close though, because I think what it is is somehow they have developed a puzzle,

which is very attractive to cats. And they always come in and if you leave them alone, they're messing around with it. So with HQ, they've put hundreds of dogs on the wall so that any cat thinking of coming into the room looks up and go, I'm not going in there, that's insane. It's like a conference of dogs. Okay, well, I should let you know that in fact, just so you stop distinguishing between cats and dogs too much,

there are a few pictures of cats also on the wall. Okay. Okay, that completely throws out my theory that they are puzzles for dogs. Because you might give a puzzle to a dog, and it might have a go at solving it if it's very simple. You give a puzzle to a cat, it is just going to walk away indifferent and then claw your furniture. Yeah. I was wondering if it was like the jigsaw puzzle thing and all dogs tessellate.

So it was just like the shape of the wallpaper or something. It just so happens that all dogs tessellate. But actually they don't exactly. You have to put a few cats in there to make it perfect. Yeah. That's like the footballs where you have to put a few cats in there to make it perfect. Yeah, yeah. That's like the footballs where you have to have a few pentacons. We've all seen the Matt Parker video.

I really thought you were going to get it there, James, with your first clause and then you went in the wrong direction. Good clause, Joe. Hey. They've not met any of the dogs, right? So it's all, these are audience dogs, right? Customers take a photo of their dog after something has happened and they send it into the company.

Andy, that's, you've made some amazing leaps there in a good direction. Okay, okay. Oh, so is this like where you get your face on a cake? Is this like, get your dog on a puzzle, send your dog in? That's good. No, it's like one of those competitive eating restaurants where there's this wall of fame of people who've actually managed to do it. This is the wall of dogs that can actually complete a jigsaw puzzle. Not dogs that have been eaten in the course of this.

No! No! Absolutely not! Okay, but it's obviously people have sent in these pictures because they want their dogs in some way connected to the puzzle. Well, it's actually they get a reward from the company for sending in the picture. Send us a photo of your dog, and we will send you... Your dog is photogenic enough that we will make a puzzle out of it. But that doesn't make sense. There are many stock photos of dogs available that are going to be better than someone's at home.

Yeah. Andy, do you remember you found out that artist, was it you who found her, who shaved her own hair and turned it into dog clothes and shaved a dog's hair and turned it into human clothes? Yes. So could it be that the dogs are being used to make the puzzle? No, that's not true. We haven't actually established even what type of puzzle this is yet. Oh, yeah.

In my head it's still jigsaws. I still use jigsaw's. Yeah, I'm gonna stick with Jigsaw. Guys, before James makes a fool of himself and says that he thinks it's Sudoku, it's Jigsaw's. Well done. Okay, okay. You got that bit right. How did you know I was trying to think of the funniest puzzle I could think of?

It's almost like you've done ten years of shows together and know how each other work. So it's not that if you send a photo of your dog we will make a personal... we'll turn it into a jigsaw of your dog? No. No. This is all sort of giving the dog or cat or in fact other household pet credit and it's really, rather than a wall of fame, it's kind of like a wall of shame. Oh. Oh my god. You know when I was talking about competitive eating, was that slightly closer than it might otherwise have been?

It was closer than you might have thought at the time, yes. So they've eaten the puzzles, they've eaten a piece. The dogs eat in their homework, and so they've sent in proof of dog to show why they haven't complete the puzzle. Because there are lots of jigsaw companies who you can write to and send like a self-addressed envelope or something and they will send you back the one missing piece of your puzzle. Can I just say Dan, I don't think since sending a photo of your dog is evidence that that dog has eaten a puzzle. I think you need other evidence for that.

It's tough. What comes out on the other side? They couldn't have a wall with hundreds of bags of dog poo pinned to it. DNA test results, Don. They're not going to want the piece back, are they? I'm afraid, yeah, their burden of proof required is as high as Dan's. What I was thinking is that maybe people had accidentally been thinking I was this puzzle company, and that's why they're sending me dog poo in the post. Yes, they you're entirely correct. Well done, everybody. I feel like that was a joint effort.

And it is proof enough if you send a picture of the guilty party. And there's actually even a fish in one of the pictures. I'm not sure how the fish managed to destroy the puzzle piece. Yeah. Wow. That's great. Yes, you are absolutely right. So the dog photos or cat photos or pet photos generally are sent in as payment for if that pet has chewed or somehow destroyed a piece of the jigsaw.

And if you send in that photo, they can send a replacement piece. or somehow destroyed a piece of the jigsaw. And if you send in that photo, they can send a replacement piece. Thank you to Marcelo Barcellos for this next question. Near Lake 7 in Armenia, you will find young men by the road standing in a crucifixion type pose. What are they doing?

And why is it essentially pointless? I'll say that again. Near Lake 7 in Armenia, you will find young men by the road standing in a crucifixion-type pose. What are they doing, and why is it essentially pointless? Well, my first thought is cricket on pyres. Because they stand with their arms at Kimbo

when there's a wide ball. And the pointlessness is because cricket is inherently pointless. Did you set that whole thing up just to do a slam on the concept of cricket? I haven't been to Armenia. No, me neither. Haven't you? That's a rare country. In this hemisphere that you haven't been to. Is it in this hemisphere? Yeah? Yes, it is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, great. In this hemisphere that you haven't been to? Is it in this hemisphere? Yeah? Yes it is. Probably? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, great. So, I'm on a call and suddenly I'm not the one getting flack for going to a load of places. This is cruel. Well, because I don't make a big deal of it, Tom. That's the thing. Oh my god. No, I haven't been to Armenia and I really don't know very much about it. I know there is a war with Azerbaijan.

Is it that? Is it that? Is it a war with Azerbaijan, answer? Oh, are they? How many lakes is it? Did you say seven lakes? Oh no, this is just the name, which it's Armenian. I'm probably mispronouncing it. It's S-E-V-A-N. Lake Sevan. Oh, Lake Sevan. Oh, okay. Because I was thinking if it was seven lakes, but this theory still works. They are standing in the crucifix position because attached to them are boards with directions. They are human posts to show take a left here to go to the first lake or the second lake. I realize my seven lake theory has gone out now, but north of lake or whatever, they can't afford wood. They have hired humans instead to be the signposts.

It's a lake, right? What do you get in lakes? You get fish. What do fishermen do when they're comparing anecdotes of how big the fish they've caught are? They stand in a group of victim posts. Yes, lovely. Yeah. Yeah, that's really good, Andy. I was thinking also, perhaps it could be scarecrows. Scarecrows, yes. Oh yeah.

Obviously. It's a classic scarecrow pose. Andy, you are absolutely right. Ooh. No. What? Andy, you are on fire. The first half of the answer is to show how big the fish is. The second half of the question is, why is it essentially pointless?

And actually, I'm just going to ask why they're standing there like that. I know why it's pointless, because every single fish in that lake is the exact same size. That's good. Could it be one of those former Soviet lakes where they've basically effectively have no life in there anymore, and this is what the fish used to look like. So it's just like, you can't see the fish anymore, but imagine this, but I'm a fish. So are these guys a kind of cultural memory repository of they used to be fisher that were this size?

That's what I'm thinking. It's quite moving sort of artistic display. I quite like that. But that wouldn't be pointless though. That would actually be, well as you say, very meaningful. Is it because actually not only are the men all standing there, but next to them are the actual fish mounted, so you can see how big they are, you don't need the person there? You've kind of missed a motivation here. Why might they be by the side of the road showing how big the fish are?

Oh, because someone might want to buy them. There we go. Yes, they are selling the fish that they've caught. Okay. But why is it pointless? Why is it pointless? Because... Everyone's allergic to fish? Yeah, because cars are banned in the area. This is a postal anecdote from Marcio who sent the question in. His tour guide explained this to him.

Everyone in Armenia is vegan. That's it. That's it. You're not allowed to buy the fish. The fish are all radioactive. Yes. That's why they're so massive. The fish are on display, just there. You can stop, you can buy the fish.

Well, that's why it's pointless, because you can see how big they are. Why do they need to stand there with their arms out? Is that it? Is it an actual literal religious connection, in that it's like buy from a Christian fisherman? You know, it's a... Jesus was a fisher of men. Yeah. that it's like buy from a Christian fisherman, you know, it's a... Jesus was a fisher of men. Yeah. There's a guy down the road with five loaves.

Yeah. There's a common stereotype of fishermen here. Give a man a f... They're liars. Okay, so it's pointless because no one trusts them. Right. Everyone is just out stretching their arms as far as they possibly can. I remember this because I went, I did go to Armenia and I bought a fish off Mr Tickle and I was very disappointed in it. Yes, this is by Lake Saban, apologies to Armenia,

where the fishmongers by the side of the road who have caught their fish, hopefully that day, all advertise by spreading their arms wide to say, this is how big the fish I have are. And like a lot of fishermen, they are all lying. There's an Armenian film called Sevan, I believe, which is, um, and what's in the box, and it's just a small fish. Andy, it is over to you for the next question. This is another fishy one. Okay, here we go. The shortfin mako is the fastest shark in

the world. In 1961, why did some workers in Detroit paint a taxidermy specimen of a mako that was hanging in their boss's office? The shortfin mako is the fastest shark in the world. In 1961, why did some workers in Detroit paint a taxidermy specimen of a mako that was hanging in their boss's office? There's a lot of hooks into that question, and I don't know where to start. Yeah.

Oh, that wasn't even a deliberate pun. That was not intentional, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, a mako fish, I know they're like, they're quite, they're very streamlined, aren't they? And they have a super long nose that like, looks like almost like a sword kind of thing. Like a really, really pointy. And yeah, that's... And they can jump out of the water, I think. Maybe. Okay. Okay.

I think all I know is they when we used to go on holiday in Cornwall, we were kids, there was an incredibly exciting time when a Mako it's a shark, a kind of shark, right? Yeah. Mako shark was spotted. And I think they're one of the only sharks that actually attack humans. And so everyone was told to stay out of the water. It was like being in Australia for three days. Everyone was told to stay out of the water all over Cornwall because a Mako shark had arrived from some far-flung place.

And so, is it related to their deadliness? Like they painted over it, they painted its mouth shut. Like you paint a window shut in case it came to life and attacked them. We've also not established yet whether they are painting it physically or making a painting of it. Oh, yes. Great shout. I'll tell you, they painted the thing. They painted the thing. So there's an attack on the shark at their boss's office. They painted the surface.

Okay. Okay, so they're clearly making a point to their boss, you know, they're sending a message kind of like the horse's head in Godfather. They are, he's walked into his office and he's gone, whoa, and because of whatever's painted, has sent something, a message. Well, I'll tell you this much. Yeah. The boss didn't know that they'd done it. Oh, did they paint it the exact same colors that it was originally? Oh No, they did. No They didn't all right your what you that's good. Like think of the motivations of why?

workers in Detroit might paint oh This joke is it to do with anything else in Detroit like the automobiles? Yeah, cars. Yes. Pistons. It's automotive. It's automotive. Pistons are in a car.

That's true. But this is just a more general point. It's the sports team, the Detroit Pistons. Oh, sorry. I do appreciate this. I thought you were just shouting out vaguely car-related words now. Spoiler! Windscreen wipers.

Did you say spoiler because you were going to give away a car? Yeah. I thought you were just shouting out vaguely car-related words now. Spoiler! Windscreen wipers. Did you say spoiler because you were going to give away a car? Yeah. I thought you were just shouting out vaguely car-related words now. It's a come-of-the-spoiler! Windscreen wipers. Did you say spoiler because you were going to give away another piece of the car or because that's a piece of the car?

Detroit in the 60s was like almost at its peak then. That was full Motor City. That was where every American car was made. I know it's not every, but that was where the auto plants were. And these were car... This was an automotive place of work. Yeah. Is there anything to do with how streamlined they are, MakoFish? Ooh.

As in, did they paint it in the colours of a normal car to say, look, if a car was like this, look how awesome it would look. No, because he didn't notice, did he? He didn't notice. So I've got a theory, which is they realized at the peak of when they were doing all of this amazing piston work there, that they were using suddenly paints that were highly deadly.

They were very toxic. And this is a murder case. They were trying to poison the boss from within his office, but he would never know that there was poison in there because it matches the exact decor of his room. I'll be honest, I'm like James's first idea more. I'm going to throw my hat in with him though. Does that mean I have to go with that?

So what was your theory, James? So they painted the Mako shark to look like a car. And the idea is, look, this is how aerodynamic our new car could be because it could be as aerodynamic as a Mako shark. It's not quite that. I'll give you one more clue, which is that the boss had been inspired by the shape and color of the shark. Can I just ask a quick question, Andy? Is the streamliners of the shark relevant?

Is it relevant that the boss didn't notice that they changed it? Yes. Yes, it is relevant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. They were proving a point. They were saying that we have found a paint that is going to be fantastic on the body of a car. He said, this will never work. And they proved it by painting over a beloved fish. And he didn't notice. And then they walked in and said, ta-da. Oh, you're so close. And then they murdered him.

Is there a particular model of car from like 1961 that's really famous, that's famous for being streamlined. Was there something new that came in around? So it was to do with an innovation, but it was to do with a, it was something that could have happened, a car that could have happened. Flying car, swimming car surely. It's shape and color. Remember that the boss was inspired by the shape and color of this shark. He loved it. He thought it was like you can have your car in any color as

long as it's Mako shark colored. You so nearly there. That's, that's it. Go on. I feel like James, you know, I can't just pick up James's fag ends and was it just the point that the boss is wrong? The color is not relevant. He didn't even notice when the color changed. It's all about the Mako shark shape. No, I'll give you one more clue. The color is relevant. The boss wanted something to be just so, but the workers were struggling to achieve it. Oh, I see. So that he wanted a very special color of a Mako shark. And they said, well, we've got this gray paint,

so why don't we just do it gray? And he's like, no, no, no, it has to be this perfect color. And they painted the shark gray and he didn't notice and they murdered him. That's exactly right. Just lop off that last part. That's it. So it was, they painted it so that Corvette cars matched the grade that the boss liked. He was called Bill Mitchell. He was an executive at GM and he had, he had brought back this shark from a fishing trip and he had it stuffed and mounted and he was like, oh, it's that big. It's that big. And he said to his team, make me a version of the Corvette stingray, which was existing car, that matches this shape and colour.

And the paint shop just couldn't do it. And so they just took the shark off the wall without his knowledge and repainted it to match the process I've already made. Surely that didn't work. He said, I told you the shark, these are bright pink. And they said, turn around mate, look at what colour the shark is. I was thinking that it was like, it doesn't match, it doesn't match, it doesn't match. And so eventually they come in and paint the shark with the new paint so that they can

prove to me he hasn't noticed it. It must be a match. But were they actually just forcing a match? They were basically saying, well, if we can't make the paint look exactly like the shark, we'll make the shark look exactly like the paint that we have managed to make. So they couldn't match the silvery grey effect of the shark skin, so they literally just, without his knowledge, Bill Mitchell's knowledge, took the shark off the wall and repainted it to match the car. The car was never made, very sadly.

The Corvette Mako Shark just didn't happen. Well, because of that giant sword at the front that was probably stabbing everyone. That's a crumple zone, it's fine. Dan, over to you for the next question. Art exhibition Circle of Time featured the Relativity Special, an everyday, inexpensive vehicle that had 11 similar extra spare parts added to it. What was added and why could the vehicle possibly let you achieve something extraordinary? Art exhibition Circle of Time featured the Relativity Special,

an everyday inexpensive vehicle that had 11 similar extra spare parts added to it. What was added and why could the vehicle possibly let you achieve something extraordinary? Well, the thing about relativity is basically that stuff just gets a bit longer when it goes faster, right? So... Oh, damn it, it's shorter. It still works, the extra bits are for when it's slowing down. So you just add extra bits on or take them away to demonstrate how relativity works. You sit in the car, you feel it getting longer or shorter. Magic. Yeah, there's a lovely answer, but not right, but it's lovely. I'll take it. Thank you. Thanks. Gosh, is it something to do with the other parts of relativity? So like Hannah says,

things get changed size, they change in mass as well. And also time changes. Time is the one that I'm thinking we should go down the time route. I'm just thinking everyday inexpensive vehicle. Yeah. So is that like a smart car or is it like a bike or a scooter? Or one of those cosy kids cars. What would you get 11 of on a car? Like I would only think of cup holders. Pistons.

Pistons, yeah. But if it's cup holders... I was thinking bicycle because it's like you doing something extraordinary. Correct. It is a bicycle. Okay. Ah. But why would you need 11. It is a bicycle. Okay. But why would you need 11 cup holders on a bicycle, Dan? It doesn't make sense. Is it? Well as it grows longer, when you go faster, more people are joining on and...

Oh, 11 person tandem. I was trying to make like Hex-don, more words there, and then I realised I don't know the prefix for 11. Undecca something. That's the Italian. Do-de-ca? Do-de-ca is 12. 12, yeah. Undecca. There we go. Undecca-dom. 11 person bike. Nice.

So no. Okay, so we're on bicycles. We're on bicycles. So something to do with relativity and bicycles. This is pretty extraordinary. What's the thing that ET does? He goes to the moon. He goes past the moon. He's in the background. Well, here's another clue. To use this vehicle, you would need to put in significant effort. So pedaling to the moon would require significant effort if you didn't have ETs doing magic.

You've just got your 11 extra parts. Is it really, really difficult gears, like, you know, where you can hardly even turn the wheel but you still go super fast? That's good. No, hold on, that's a really good idea. Because this is from playing with Lego Technic as a kid and making enormous gearing things, so it's like, oh, this will go so fast and then being unable to turn the thing in the first place. Mmm. Yeah.

Like, in theory, if you pedaled this bike in like the 50th gear, it would go faster than the speed of light, but you can't put enough effort in it. Oh, that must be it. That's good. That must be it. So you bang on. Yeah! Nice! That was entirely James.

In theory, you could travel at the speed of light by using these 11 gears. So 11 additional gears were added to a standard bicycle between the pedals and the rear wheel. It looks amazing. It looks like the inside of a clock when you see a photo of it. The cumulative gear ratio is so great that one turn of the pedals would in theory be enough to travel around the world six times. If you could pedal at a steady 90 revolutions per minute, the bike would travel faster than the speed of light.

That's amazing. I reckon Anna, having seen you cycle over the years, I think you're a high gear kind of gal, aren't you? You try and go the highest gear and fastest possible. I'm a fan of a high gear until I reach an incline of more than 2% and then I'm down into first gear. Yeah, yeah, I'd like to go on that. I reckon I could make it around the world a few times. Yeah, so this was at an exhibition that was on display at the California State University in Sacramento. One last question then. At the top of the show I asked who might have a Neptune's cocktail followed by a sand facial. Before I give the audience the answer, does anyone want to take a quick shot at that?

It sounds very Andy to me. Yeah it does. You like dune. I like dune. Yeah, it's like if you go to a spa on Arrakis, then that's what they'll offer. Like your pronunciation of Arrakis. Yeah. Is it a salty cocktail? Has a cocktail made of seawater? Because it's next to you.

This would be a very salty cocktail, yes. That sounds awful. An underwater... I currently... I have a cup which is the Little Mermaid that I'm drinking from at the moment. It feels like it's something they would have in the Little Mermaid, doesn't it? Is this a pleasant sounding euphemism for a very unpleasant experience by any chance? Yes, yes it is.

Oh, is it like, I know, if you're, what's that sport called where you're on the back of a boat and it's going really fast and you're holding on to something? Is that a euphemism for the water going up your face and up your other bits? Do you know what I mean? It's like, what's it called? Like water skiing? It's very close. Yeah, coming off the surfboard or something. Yeah, Anna, you're right, it's a surfer. So what might Neptune's cocktail be? It sounds like you're just drunk off the beach water, yeah. It's a spray you get while riding the waves, and a sand facial?

Just where your face plants into the beach? Yeah, well, it's when you're dragged along the ocean floor. Oh, nice! It's when you get pushed down underwater, dragged across. So Neptune's cocktail, followed by a sand facial, is a very bad day at the beach for a surfer. Thank you very much to all of our players today. This is going to be absolute chaos, but James Harkin, where are you all from? We're all from No Such Things As A Fish.

Go to the place where you get your podcasts and you can listen to our podcast, No Such Things As A Fish. Anna Chyszynski, what sort of things are there? In the what? In existence? If people go to listen to the podcast, what will they find? Ah, I see. Well, in the free version, which is released every week, you will find a cacophony of interesting, weird, mad facts,

the weirdest facts we found that week that we all discuss and make bad and sometimes less bad jokes about. And then you can become a subscriber, at which point you'll get lots of extremely private, thrilling new content. Andrew Hunter Murray, what sort of things have you been talking about lately? On the podcast, just to be clear, on the podcast, before someone pethers me. Oh, all sorts. I never remember anything. Doing the show for ten years has destroyed my short-term memory.

I can tell you what we did in our first show, which was The Size of the Solar System and President Garfield's bottom and Richard the third. What did we do last week? I think we're about to do your favorite subjects, Andy. Well, I sort of spin on your favorite topic. Famously, Andy's obsessed with moss. Yeah, we've got a moss fact this week. I'm really stoked. And Dan Schreiber, where can people find you? Well, you can head to our website, no such thing as a fish.com.

There's a lot of cool stuff up there. The biggest thing is you're going to find links to our live tour, which is happening later this year. We're going all over the UK, we're going to Ireland, and then in November, we're flying down to Australia and New Zealand. It's called Thunder Nerds. And yeah, it's our 10 year anniversary tour.

So we're incredibly excited. And if you want to know more about this show, you can do that at lateralcast.com. We are at Lateralcast, basically everywhere, and you can get regular video highlights at youtube.com slash lateralcast. With that, it is thank you to all the team from No Such Thing As A Fish. Thank you! Lateral, lateral! I've been Tom Scott, and that's been Lateral.