Lateral with Tom Scott - 182: The calendar goal scorer

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

James Smales, Jonny Robins and John Cantrell from 'Here's What You Do' face questions about forgotten figures, speedy systems and peculiar parliaments. LATERAL is a comedy panel game podcast about weird questions with wonderful answers, hosted by Tom Scott. For business enquiries, contestant appearances or question submissions, visit https://lateralcast.com. HOST: Tom Scott. QUESTION PRODUCER: David Bodycombe. EDITED BY: Julie Hassett at The Podcast Studios, Dublin. MUSIC: Karl-Ola Kjellholm ('Private Detective'/'Agrumes', courtesy of epidemicsound.com). ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS: James Smales, Jonny Robins, John Cantrell, Zilland, Jade Varley, Wouter Demyttenaere. FORMAT: Pad 26 Limited/Labyrinth Games Ltd. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: David Bodycombe and Tom Scott. © Pad 26 Limited (https://www.pad26.com) / Labyrinth Games Ltd. 2026. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's never too early to plan your summer story in Europe with WestJet, from rolling countryside to cobblestone streets. Begin your next chapter. Book your seat at westjet.com or call your travel agent. WestJet, where your story takes off. Which friend's character's bank card pin is 5-639? The answer to that at the end of the show. My name's Tom Scott, and this is lateral.

It's Friday. It's 5 o'clock, and you know what that means. it's time to play. Lateral, the game where the facts are bizarre, the guesses are wild, and the prizes are non-existent. So who's playing today? Jane Smiles, sit yourself down. Johnny Robbins, sit yourself down.

And John Cantrell, sit yourself down. You are tonight's contestants on Lateral. Hey! And now that our contestants are in place, breathless, bewildered and perspiring slightly under the spotlights. We welcome them to the show with some trite banter. Welcome back to the team from Here's What You Do. Welcome back to Lateral.

Thanks for having us. Thank you for having us. Welcome back to the show. I am, again, a little worried that we have you three because you have so much form developing quizzes, writing questions. James, plug the podcast. Yeah, the podcast is called Here's What You Do, and each week, us three set each other a brand new quiz,

based on things that have happened this week. So if we've been on lateral, we'll do three quizzes based on lateral. So in my experience, I've developed quiz shows for TV. Johnny has developed games for TV, and John is our friend. But it's very good at setting quizzes. We're good at setting, bad at playing. Which brings me on to Johnny Robbins. How did you feel last time you're on the show?

How did it go for you? I was trepidacious before we started thinking, you know, I've listened to the pod and I was like, I don't know, you know, who invented this chemical. I don't know where this is. And I was like, it's just going to blow my mind. But then a question came in about the Pope as a Pokemon. And I was like, okay, I can settle in. Well, good luck on the show. John Cantrell, all three of you have again. written the questions that you've brought along. How do you feel that went last time?

Oh, it was tricky writing the questions and coming up with a form of words that would work perfectly on the show. And I think it went okay. I think this one perhaps is even better. Oh, all right. Well, contestants, the bidding starts now, and the item up for grabs is priceless curiosity itself.

It's time to showcase question one. Thank you to Zealand for this question. Why is Colombian footballer Hassond Gonzalez nicknamed the calendar goal scorer? I'll say that again. Why is Colombian footballer Hassond Gonzalez nicknamed the calendar

goal scorer? Wow. Wow. A calendar goal scorer? So is it that he specialises on February the 29th? That's the day when he does his best work. Once every four years, he turns up. I'm looking to you guys first. being the sort of the sports people.

And here's what you do. I avoid writing sports questions, football questions, because there's no point unless there is the most obscure fact. So have you guys heard of Hassan Gonzalez? No. No, I have not. No, I've never heard of him. Columbian.

So maybe that has something to do with it. I wonder, there are some Colombian teams with names that sound a bit like calendar. I wonder if maybe the local Derby in Colombia is... Have you been to Columbia, Johnny? I have been to Colombia. Of course you have. It's a thing in our pod where Johnny writes questions

about countries he's been to. So what are the places in Colombia, maybe? That might help us. Oh, Bogota, Medellin. I'm trying to think where... Like, does Bogota mean calendar? I've taken this at a completely different direction in my brain. Is he a scorer who has, has he fulfilled the task of scoring on each and every day of a full calendar year?

365 goals, 365 days. Oh, no, but maybe it's days of the week because football is rarely played on certain days. Yeah. And there is a couple of players in England, I know, that have scored on every day of the week. It's quite rare to get games on Thursdays, I think it is. So maybe, yeah, maybe he's scored on each day of the week. It's not to do with the sporting achievements, I'm afraid. Oh.

Oh. Has he released a calendar? Has he got his own? Like Cliff Richard. Yeah. He is the Colombian Cliff Richard. And every year... I'm sorry, Cliff Richard...

What's the connection there? Cliff Richard... The Cliff Richard... He releases a calendar every year that sells out still. Of what? Of himself? Of himself? Yeah.

He's... No. It's the best-selling calendar every year. Cliff Richard, who I have to explain to a lot of our audience, the British pop star who's had a hit in every decade since the 60s, apart from this one, I think. Yeah. Yeah, he's still up time.

Yeah. All the way, he's still up time. Still releases a... Okay, I did not know that. It's also, unfortunately. not to do with that. I was going to say, get ready because we know what you're going to be getting sent in the post now for the next year.

And every year it's going to be adorning your wall is a new cliff. No, it is not to do with sport. It is certainly not to do with physical calendars. This is Hassond Gonzalez. Hasson Gonzalez. So why would he be called a calendar goal scorer if it's not to do with sport? There was the TV channel in Yorkshire called Calendar, which was like the local news.

I wonder, is it anything to do with him being based up near Yorkshire at some point, that calendar? I think I know it. I think it's to do with his name. I think it's J for July, A for August, S for September. Oh, yes. October, N for November and D for December, spelling Hassond. Wow. Yes, you correctly picked up.

This is Columbian. So Hasson starts with a J. That four name has actually been shortened. What do you think his full first name might actually be? Oh, it's not like J.F. J.F.M. M. Jafam. Hesond.

It's F. M. F. M. Mons. Yep. The months are, Nero, February, Mazzo, Abrile. I'm mispronouncing those apologies, but yes, it is. F. Mam Hassond is his first name. He was named after the first letter of every month. And he is known as a footballer as the calendar goal scorer.

Wow. What a great fact. Well, with that solve out of nowhere, well done. John, we will go to you for your question, please. Okay, here we go. In 1978, Norway became the only country in the world to ban trucks from going up ramps, a ban that lasted at all 1989. What was the safety concern? I'll read it again for you. In 1978, Norway became the only country in the world to ban trucks from going up ramps, a ban. a band that lasted until 1989. What was the safety concern? Oh, well, there's an obvious one of trucks being heavy on ramps,

but surely it's more than that. And snow and cold, but then there's many, many countries with cold weather and snow and ice. So it can't just be it to do with that. Ramps is a weird one, isn't it? Like, truck ramp is... What kind of ramp? The ramp that gets access to something? A ramp on a road?

My instant thought is like the trucks in Diehard that come out the back of other trucks. That kind of ramp, do you know what I mean, that gets you down somewhere? I think... I think I may have solved it. Oh. What?

If it's that early, Johnny, I'm going to ask you to take a back seat if you think you've got that and we'll... It's on me and James. Oh, I hope he's wrong, and he looks really silly. always happens. Anytime someone makes that claim, always happens. Yeah, yeah.

It's just something. We'll, yeah. I mean, if something's revealed and I go, oh yeah, I'm dead wrong, I will, I will, uh, jump back in. Jump back in. So Tom, Norway, between 78 and 89, my knowledge of that era and that country isn't great.

How is yours? Not existent for me. Christmas trees, right? They give us a Christmas tree each year. The whole country is not always frozen. Like Norway and summer is pretty nice place to be. Are we focusing on, we've automatically assumed that this is large trucks, but are they like toy trucks?

You know, like micro machines or something going up a ramp, and they banned it because of parts of a toy? Are they full-sized trucks, John? Oh, yeah, I was thinking, like, big trucks. This could be, like, the trolleys that get pushed up. Like, you, the sack trolleys, things like that. They're called trucks. There are, I...

It's definitely not normal road using trucks. Think elsewhere. Okay, okay. That's good. Is this what you thought, Johnny? I'm more confident by the sacket. So trucks. Then it's a Norwegian word,

T-R-O-the-slash-X, that translates to something else. It is normal English. No use of Norwegian. So trucks going up ramps. So we know that the truck isn't a normal truck. What kind of ramp is it? It's not the sort of ramp you might find on a road or a road

or a motorway. They call a ramp, a ski jump. I know skiing is big in Norway. Ooh, yes. Is that ramp, trucks going up a ramp? Is it something to do with skiing, John? It's not to do with skiing, but keep thinking along those lines.

So trucks, why do I have a vague memory that it's something to do with, not skiing, but rollerblading or roller skating, or roller skating, or skateboarding. There's some kind of physical sport. Oh, yes. Skateboarding's trucks. Yes. Yes, it does. Yes, it is. And skateboarding ramps. That's it. Yeah, that's it. Did they ban skateboarding tricks? More than that, they wholesale ban skateboarding.

Whoa. In the whole of Norway? The whole of Norway, in 1978, they banned it because of data coming out of America about the number of people getting injured. so they wholesale banned skateboarding in Norway until 1989 when they eased up on it. Johnny, was that what you had? That's what I had. He's just going to say yes no matter what, Tom. Oh, yeah, that's what I thought, sure.

Yeah, so the trucks are what holds the wheels onto the skateboard, essentially. That's sort of the metal thing with the bearings on, and they are called trucks. Right. Because it's no max, because it doesn't move that way. Exactly, yeah. So they have a bit of sort of movement in them, but yeah, they're sort of fixed in place on the deck. And yeah, off you go, up the ramps or not in Norway. Or not for 11 years. I wonder if there was an underground illegal skateboarding scene because that normally has different connotations, you know?

Yeah, there had to be. There was. There was an illegal skateboarding scheme for a little while. And there was one place, I think it was in Oslo where there was a legal skate park, but that was the only one for a long time. And then as the rules began to get more and more lax, there were one or two more,

and then the band was lifted finally in 1989. That is a film I would watch. Thank you to Jade Varley for this question. In the 1790s, Scottish engineer William Murdoch invented his shoot system to speed up laboratory work. It later appeared in casinos, Japanese love hotels, and even NASA's Apollo Mission Control Centre. How does it work? Say that again. In the 1790s, Scottish engineer William Murdoch invented his shoot system to speed up laboratory work.

It later appeared in casinos, Japanese love hotels, and... and even NASA's Apollo Mission Control Centre. How does it work? First thing I think of is those little tubes you get in the postrooms from Elf. It's like a shoot that goes up like that, but I don't think I'd want one of those in a Love Hotel. Well, here's the thing, James. You're right. Absolutely correct.

Yes, this was the... How do you think shoot is being spelled here? Oh, like an S-H-O-O-T as opposed to... With CHU-T-E kind of connotations, but... Yes, just a very quick solve there, James. This is Scottish engineer William Murdoch, who discovered that cylinders could travel swiftly in a tube with partial vacuum,

and he invented the pneumatic tube system. So I'm going to change this question slightly. Why would you find pneumatic tube systems in each of those locations? Well, that's kind of why I said it, because I didn't think it would be exactly that right. So I can only apologise. I know the format is to...

talk about the answer rather than just get it correct. But I was the same as you, James. I'm thinking why are they in love hotels and... Yeah. Or casinos to transport money. I can get, surely to transport money around. Yes. Yeah, it's a secure way to send money and chips between the casino floor and the

accounting rooms. Is it used in NASA for, in a pre-email and sort of text pager world to get messages very quickly from one place to another. Would they put them through a shoot? Do they have sort of a system? They do. And certainly pre-email. It was pre-some other technology as well.

There was something being sent around in the Mission Control Centre. Oh, pre-like fax machine? Does they have telephones? They could talk to other on a telephone. The benefit of it is the physical thing gets to you, doesn't it? Because in fact, it's a copy. Is it things like launch codes, that kind of?

of thing? Like the... Yeah, I'm gonna give you that. Yeah, it was printouts of flight controllers' console displays. So everyone did not have a printer on their desk when you needed a print. It would arrive by pneumatic tube. I'm sure it was used for messaging and other things as well, but Mission Control used it to deliver printouts,

which leaves us with Japanese love hotels, which I'm going to ask, you know what, I'm just a pick on John to explain what those are. Well, oh, God, good old me. of me. Well, I imagine the Japanese... Well, John, you're the only one out of us who's used one, John, so you should probably... Well, to be fair, I have spent the night in a Japanese love hotel.

Oh. Have you? Oh, well, there we go. Then I'm going to immediately ask you to explain the concept, because they are not as as sleazy as the initial idea makes them seem. No, so I think they are sort of a respect thing that when young couples are first together, they might want to go and be intimate, but not in their parents' houses. They go to these hotels, which are very discreet. You don't actually see the person behind the desk.

You don't see anyone. A lot of them, in my experience, they're sort of like a selection of rooms you can choose on like a board. And I think they used to be... Yeah, it does sound a little bit sleazy on first listen, but it is, as I say, young couples in Japan And often do not have anywhere else to go because small houses with parents around.

Exactly. Yeah. But we sort of ticked off on our, you know, strange, you know, places to stay in Japan. Wow. And so is the tube then a way of getting something or discarding something? Will it not be anonymous communication? If the idea is that you're hidden from the people who are looking after you the hotel, surely that's about getting messages to reception or wherever without them knowing who you are or you were knowing who they are. Not necessarily from the rooms, because you can do that by telephone. Is it because you're not having a connection to the person at reception? You don't see them. Is it the way you talk to them? Or the way you choose the room?

It's very close to that. There's one other element of that transaction. The invoice, the payment and the cash. Yes, because Japan is still a cash-first society, even now. So some Japanese love hotels, even now, will have a pneumatic system to take payment. Wow. Love it. Incredible solve there. James will go to you for the next question please. Developers needed to excavate a large basement in Jiangyuan China

without demolishing a cluster of historical buildings on the site. How did a missing number 16 help them? And I'll say that again. Developers needed to excavate a large basement in Zhang Yuan China without demolishing a cluster of historical buildings on the site. How did a miss a miscarvate a large basement in Zhanguan China? missing number 16 help them. And I can only apologise for my pronunciation of that place.

Wow. So developers excavating a basement and there were some historical buildings nearby. They didn't want to disturb. And what was the missing number 16? Give me that a little bit again. That was it. Yeah. How did a missing number 16 help them?

All right. I have a bit of knowledge here. which is I remember when Crossrail was being put through London. There were a load of historic buildings that had automated laser theodolites put on them. So a theodolite is a device that tracks how far away something is checks distances. And basically every five minutes or so, a device with a laser in would sweep round reflective targets

that they put on all the historic buildings, all the old buildings, and check if that building had moved. and if it had, they'd stop whatever they were doing below. Like, they would make plans they'd track. So if you are excavating and you have historic buildings, you either have to get a person or a robot. And the reason I remember this is the little robot to just check, are these buildings sinking regularly?

And that's the canary in the coal mine. Yeah. So was that when they also, was that, when was the car park, the king in the car park? They were excavating and they found him. Yeah, that was a few years ago. Richard the third, right? And it had found under a car park.

But then is a missing... It was a missing number 16. Maybe it's like a 16th. Like maybe it was their king in the car park. Was it an emperor or someone that was found... Oh, the 16th emperor. The 16th, exactly. Perhaps, you know, the 16th.

Would that help, though? It sounds like any developer would be like, Oh no, we found major archaeological things here. That's fair enough. That's going to put the timeline back a bit. Can we move him next door? Tom, when you were talking about theodalites, you said lots of words that are correct.

Okay, good. They weren't used in any of the correct way. Okay. So Tom, you said robots, movements, that kind of thing. And lasers, yeah, all of those sorts of things. And also measuring distances. So how would a missing 16, how would any of those? I wonder if the buildings were as historical as they were led to believe.

You know what I mean? You know, when you go to a model village or a reconstruction of somewhere, perhaps somehow they'd slipped their mind that they weren't in fact these ancient buildings. They were part of a theme park or something that had been left behind. And the clue was that some element, was like number 16 was missing, and that was only a tradition that started in the 20th century, something like that. Exactly, yeah. It had 2016 or something, or, you know, the gate 16 to enter the theme park, I don't know, is, because it seems to be something around these historical buildings.

Are they actually what we think they are? The buildings were very fragile. Oh, that's not the same answer, is it? No, they could have made a fibreglass. they couldn't dig down without the risk of cracking the walls. But as I said, that is not the same as historical buildings. Fragile and historical are different things. To help a little bit, what Tom said was almost entirely the opposite of the correct answer. Oh, wow.

Excellent. Love it. Love it. Love everything about it. Okay, so they're not using laser robot theodolites to check if things are moving. Or are they hoping they move and they're checking that they are moving? Keep going round that, John, I think. Are they moving the building? You know, and you see those buildings on the back of a flatbed truck going down the motorway? Are they moving the buildings, but very, very slowly?

Yes, Johnny, but how did a missing number 16 help them? Is it that they were quite small and if there were 16 of these houses, it wouldn't have fitted on the back of whatever vehicle or construction they were using to move it. Fifteen did. Off they went. Happy days. Not quite. Think of something that is missing the number 16. Something that is missing the number 16. What other term is used for a cluster of buildings? A town, a hamlet, a village.

A block of flats. John, yes, just shorten what you said. Block of flats. Flats. No, the other part. Oh, a block. It's a block. So something that has the numbers 1 to 15, it's missing the number 16. It would help you move some buildings on robots.

If it's missing the top floor, that doesn't make any sense. If it was 16 stories told. Yeah, what would be missing that's the number 16? It's a game. What? It's a game. Traditionally, it has the numbers 1 to 16, but you may have seen versions that don't have have numbers on involving a block.

Is it a Rubik's Cube? No. That's what I was going to say, Johnny. It doesn't have something and that helps you solve it. Oh, is it one of those things that you slide the tiles across and then there's a little gap in the middle so you can move them around? Sliding block puzzles. Oh.

Yes, that's it. They move the buildings like a sliding block puzzle. Incredible. So, unable to dig out the basement without risk of serious damage to. the historic buildings, the engineering team simply moved them out the way. A large metal grid was used to support the block and over 400 crawler robots slid the building 10 metres, about 33 feet, per day. Censors, which is probably a theodalites, continually monitored the strain put on the buildings as they moved. And a member of the construction company compared this to

the famous sliding block puzzle, where the numbers 1 to 15 must be placed in order and the number 16 is absent. And so if you see it's a four by four square, you've got to move all the blocks around. There's no number 16. Get them in the right place. And the renovated project will contain an art museum, hotels and a performing art centre. Thank you to an anonymous listener and Wouter Demitonair for this next question. Belgium fell under Swedish rule in 2014. Similarly, Germany very nearly fell under the rule of Jamaica in 2017. How? And one more time, Belgium fell under Swedish rule in 2014. Similarly, Germany very nearly fell under the rule of Jamaica in 2017. How? Oh, I was instantly going to the dates going. Is it an Olympic question, but not in 14 and 17?

17's the one that rules that out, isn't it? For any kind of sporty, really, sporty related stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Belgium fell under Swedish rule. Was it part of an epic game of risk that was being played? It's a game of risk where the globe is the actual board and you have to send invading, no, that's just war. That's just a actual war. That's a good old war. Yeah.

Okay, so it nearly fell under Jamaican rule, but it didn't. It avoided it. That's the key. I wonder if this is rather, than the countries themselves, it's almost like the teams were being ruled by another nation in an event. So let's say it was robot wars and the German team were ruled by, they nearly got conquered by the Jamaican team, but they didn't.

Like a capture the flag or a thing like that. Oh, I see what you're going there. I'm not sure. I'm not sure it's that. My brain instantly goes sport, but you're right. It can't be sport. But then I was thinking, no, it can't be sport. Belgium under Swedish rule.

Jamaica and Germany are so sort of starkly different with location, culture, everything about them. What puts those two even in the same sort of sentence? You know, Belgium and Sweden, you can sort of see. Yeah. And nearly neighbours aren't. almost came under the rule of Jamaica Jamaican rule in 2017

I can't think all I've got in my head is Usain Bolt from Jamaica I can't get it out I will I will settle the debate here this is not a sport question okay is it a food food or drink is there anything to do with food food or drinks and the main

sort of people that produce them I think the closest thing that anyone said so far was James saying teams. I'm not saying it's close or it's correct, but that's the closest day one's got so far, yeah. Is Swedish rule and Jamaican rule, are they rules, rather than being a country or, you know, a team, are they sets of rules? Is there a Jamaican version of these things and a Swedish version of these things? And they were applied to Belgium and Germany. Like an electoral rule, like the Swedish rule is, you know, first past the post and the Jamaican rule is something else.

Or like rules in a sport, like boxing or something. But it's not sport. But it's not sport. But it's not sport. Again, I'm going to pick up one word from James, which is electoral. Oh, we're doing it one word at a time. Electoral. How many words are in the answer, Tom?

We're going to nerdle our way to glory. Electoral and teams, actually really good clue together there. I don't know enough about the German, Belgian, Swedish or Jamaican electoral systems. Was there... So, Swedish rule, is there someone who was originally born in Sweden, who is now in charge of, was elected to Parliament in Belgium, as Prime Minister of Belgium, likewise the same with Jamaica,

who someone who was originally born in Jamaica is now in charge of Germany, of the Prime Minister of Germany? Yes. No, that's possibly a bit too literal. Okay, fair enough. But this is a phrase, used in those countries. Right.

This is not invented by the question writer. This is something that Belgium and Germany would refer to this as. So Belgium and Germany maybe have the same electoral systems, and Swedish and Jamaican rule are part of their events that can happen as an outcome. So like a hung parliament is the Jamaican rule and a, what's it called, when there's two of the set, two different parties together. Coalition. Coalition.

Or as you might otherwise call it, an electoral team. Coalition is definitely the right word that. You keep coming up with good words, James, I'm going to keep calling them out. One word at a time. One word at a time. We'll get that. Okay. Is there something specific about a Jamaican coalition,

or is that, you know, something to do with how they run their parliament? Is it the number of parties in, Is it that they're off, I don't know, seven parties in Sweden, six in Jamaica, and that's the coalition that was eventually formed in Belgium and Germany? Does Jamaica have its own system that isn't followed anywhere else in the world? Do they have their own unique system? No, I think John's closer. It's not the number of parties.

But you're right, you're getting very close there, John. Yeah, yeah. So what we're thinking is, Belgium and Germany have had an election and the results of the election are called the Swedish rule and the Jamaican rule. Yes. And... It was nearly the Jamaican rule. It was...

Oh, it was nearly the Jamaican rule. The Jamaican rule was an option. Oh, is it ways of sorting a tied election? And there's the Swedish rule and the Jamaican rule. And so if, for example, there are three parties tied, it would be a Swedish rule. And if there were four, it would be Jamaican. But they nearly got it because... There weren't actually four.

It's not the number. It's not the number. There's something else that political parties used to set themselves apart. Is it the colours they use? Johnny, keep going. So is it... Is it the Jamaican flag?

Has that got three colours? Keep going. Four colours? Yeah. Sweden is it to do with... But again, it's not about the number. It's partly to do with the number, I guess. It's a number of colours on that flag.

But what might Swedish rule be? Well, Sweden's blue and yellow with a cross in the middle. Yep. And Jamaica is... Jamaican's cross is diagonal across, but it's... Black and green and... It's three different colours. It's black, green and yellow. It's black, green and yellow.

So what might Jamaican rule be? Do the colours represent parties? Yes, they do. The colours represent the parties. Is it like a green party like we have a green party? And Lib Dems for the yellows. Oh, I see. So in the UK it would have been a Swedish flag as well

because it was Conservative and Liberal Democrats. It was, which was blue and yellow. That would have been Swedish rule. After Germany's 2017 federal elections, there was a proposed coalition that was a CDU who are black, the FDP who are yellow, and the Greens, who are green. And that is the colours of the Jamaican flag. And so the journalists nicknamed this Jamaican rule.

Ah, very good. Yes, a flag question! Right up your street, Jim. Right up your street. Oh, no. Yes, there's also been, in 2014, the Swedish coalition brought together at multiple parties. So it was blues and yellows and the Christian Democrats who use a cross.

So that was that the flag was more or less reached, so it was a Swedish country. coalition. Other Belgian coalitions, there's the Burgundian, which is red, blue, yellow, and the rocket, which is nicknamed after the ice lolly. Lovely. Delicious. Yeah. Johnny, whenever you're ready, it's your question, please. Prince Harvey went to work in an Apple store in Soho, New York City for four months.

The company didn't pay him a cent, but he didn't mind. Why? So I'll give it to you again. Prince Harvey went to work in an Apple store in Soho, New York City for four months. The company didn't pay him a cent, but he didn't mind. Why? If you're a prince, you don't need a lot of money. If on the other hand he'd recently had the prince title removed... Oh yeah. Oh dear.

So, hang on. Tom, I've learned from our last episode, is Prince Harvey a human? Prince Harvey, he is a human. Okay. Is the Apple store a greengrocers? Oh, that's good. Oh, well, we just go into alternate versions of all of this. Yes. Yes. Let's do that. Is it not New York, but...

That is a great question. But the Apple store is not a greengrocers. It is... Fair enough. an Apple store with a capital A. I like how we've got to the point now with all the question setters and one person who's just done so many of these.

Like, all right, let's go down the list, let's matter getting this. Exactly, exactly. Let's get this the most efficient way we can. They're missing a trick, though, in New York not to call it the big Apple store, I think. Oh, my word. Oh, they are.

They are. My first thought is that Prince is a valid American first name. This is just someone whose first name is Prince. His name is Prince Harvey. Yeah. Because his parents called him Prince. Yeah. I'm not sure if that would help at all with the question,

but it might remove the line of inquiry of which monarch is sending their son to work. Yes. So you don't think there's a royal that's being sent to go to work then. Harvey is also not much of a royal name. I feel like there's going to be a lot of Leoes and Georges before there are Harvys. But I guess the question then is, why did he not mind not being paid? Which is a lot of negatives in the sentence. But essentially, why would he be happy not to receive payment?

Because he's got a lot of money, sure, but that's not a lateral question. So is to say he was sent to work there, Johnny? No, no, he went to work. He went there on, you know, of his own accord. It's the payment in kind in some way. Like he was allowed to stay there. He was security for the Apple store and was allowed to live above it, that kind of thing. I feel like that's illegal.

Well, it is. But there was some sort of agreement, let's say, between the two parties. Well, who are the parties? Prince Harvey and Apple. An Apple. So what can Apple get? Did he have an app that they were buying or some software, and he wanted to kind of get in at the ground level

to do some kind of undercover boss style work? Was he some TikTok influencer trying to live in an Apple store for four months? Until Apple notice him. He was not living there. He was going home at the end of the day. When he had finished work, he was going home. Did he choose to get paid in some sort of in-game currency? rather than dollars.

Oh yes, wasn't paid a cent, but got free Apple things. Whatever, robox, shall we say. Roblox. Yeah, or got a laptop or got a camera or got a processor or got shares. Oh, was he like the graffiti artist who drew on the wall of Apple? And rather than being paid money, he got paid shares in the company. Is that who that was? No, he was not given anything by Apple.

Okay. Not given everything by Apple. No, hold on. This is carefully phrased. He went to work at the Apple store. He didn't work for Apple, did he? Not necessarily for Apple. Okay, you may have landed on something there, Tom.

See, the kind of guy that's a statue that stands outside or inside the Apple store and is paid by people donating money to him. He is not a human statue. You know, he was definitely inside the store where he was at work. Again, carefully phrased. For four months. Not for Apple. So who works in an Apple store that doesn't work for Apple?

Because even like, this is not only like a contractor who happens to be a security guard for another company. That's not a lateral question. There's some trick to this. There is, there is. There's something more to this. So, I mean, I can give you, you know, a little. If the answer was just, he was the security. God, I'd be furious.

I'm going to be honest. I love that. It didn't technically work for Apple. It was subcontracted. I'm at the end of the show. Thanks, guys. So you're right. So he didn't belong to a royal family

and he was there almost every day and he was in there for hours at a time. But he, you know, Apple store, they all wear the sort of the staff t-shirts. He wasn't wearing, you know, an Apple-branded t-shirt. He wasn't part of Apple, but he was in the store at work. All right, here is my pitch for, like, the New York Post article or something like that.

We sent a journalist into an Apple store to see how long before they kick him out. He gets there, at the start of each day, he sits down, he works, and he's just waiting to see how long you can spend an Apple store doing your job before someone comes along and taps you on the shoulder and goes, mate, it's a bit much. I love it. It's got to be it. That's got to be it. You're not right, I'm afraid, but. Oh, no. It was so good.

So persuasive, Tom. You just, you just dismissed it. Well, the, the staff there did acknowledge him, but they let him carry on with his job. Right. Was he taking selfies on, like, the display models or? No, so, James, you're closer. With what you're saying there, it's not right, but think about what you can do using Apple technology, in particular the laptops. What are the programs that you can use that may be beneficial?

Was he editing on it? He was editing in a way. Was he editing himself out of security footage or into security footage? Was he making his movie in the Apple store? for free, and Apple were like, yeah, all right, that seems like a good advert to have around. You are 80% there. He was not making a movie,

but he was making something. What was he making? An advert for the Apple store? Not an advert. It was all for him. He was making it just for himself. What was he making? Oh, his album?

He was making his album. Amazing. Lovely. Prince Harvey sounds like a, stage name, doesn't it? Exactly. So, the story was, so he's from New York, Prince Harvey, he's a rapper and producer.

His laptop had died. He faced eviction, couldn't afford replacement equipment. So instead of giving up, he went into the Apple store every day with a little USB stick and used the Macs and garage band to record his vocals,

the beats, the edits, saved it onto a little hard drive, and then each day would go in. The employees twigged to what he was doing, but it was such a good advert for other people coming into the store to see what could be done on the equipment that they were like, yeah, great. And the album that he released was called Fatass, P-H-A-T-A-S-S,

which is Prince Harvey at the Apple Store Soho. Oh, wow. That's lovely stuff. Yeah. So just the question from the start of the show left, which Friends' characters bank card pin is 5-639. I am going to ask the panel if they can figure this one out, but they're all taking notes, and I suspect...

I know it, I think. Yeah. You know it, Jim. Well played. I think it's Joey. I think it's predictive text on the keys, isn't it? Oh, that is right up your street. Absolutely right. This is Joey Tribiani. Joey calls Phoebe from Las Vegas, asking her to remind him of the pin that he's forgotten

because he's scratched it on the corner of the ATM round the corner. And Phoebe replies, oh, so you're 5-639, which is Joey on predictive text, which he has forgotten, and that joke is never even acknowledged in the show. It's the Easter egg. That's so lovely. Thank you very much to all of our players.

What's going on with the podcast? Where can people find you? We'll start today with Johnny. So our podcast is, Here's What You Do, and come along for three fun new quizzes each week set by us where we challenge each other.

John, what sort of questions, what kind of topics? Is it everything? Is it something? It is anything you can imagine. You'll have us making animal sounds. We'll ask you who's the drunkest James Bond. We'll ask you questions about different words,

different countries and different times. Everything under the side. We'll ask a question about it. And James, where can people find you? Everywhere you would normally find your podcasts in the podcast apps. And if you're there, why not rate it five stars as well?

Get it up the charts! We want to be next to Lateral. And if you want to know more about this show, you can do that at Lateralcast.com where you can also send in your own ideas for questions. We are at Lateralcast basically everywhere, and there are weekly video episodes in full on Spotify. Thank you very much to James Smiles.

Thank you. Bye. Johnny Robbins. Cheers, bye. John Cantrell. Thank you, goodbye. I've been Tom Scott, and that's been Lateral.