Lateral with Tom Scott - 205: The secure ping pong ball

Episode Date: September 11, 2026

James Smales, Jonny Robins and John Cantrell from 'Here's What You Do' face questions about binary botany, Olympic overachievers and flipped flyers. LATERAL is a comedy panel game podcast about weird questions with wonderful answers, hosted by Tom Scott. For business enquiries, contestant appearances or question submissions, visit https://lateralcast.com. HOST: Tom Scott. QUESTION PRODUCER: David Bodycombe. EDITED BY: Julie Hassett at The Podcast Studios, Dublin. MUSIC: Karl-Ola Kjellholm ('Private Detective'/'Agrumes', courtesy of epidemicsound.com). ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS: James Smales, Jonny Robins, John Cantrell, Harry Sans, Richard Atkinson, Mike Salter. FORMAT: Pad 26 Limited/Labyrinth Games Ltd. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: David Bodycombe and Tom Scott. © Pad 26 Limited (https://www.pad26.com) / Labyrinth Games Ltd. 2026. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You gotta try breakfast at you gotta try... And what better way than with a delicious Pratt organic coffee? Starting with just $1 all day, every day now until December 31st. You gotta try breakfast at A&W. At participating A&W locations in Ontario. Which plant can count to two and why does it help? The answer to that at the end of the show. My name's Tom Scott and this is lateral.

Good evening and welcome to the lateral studio for today's big match. Let's take a look at today's lineup. Up front, we've got James Smales, always dangerous in the final third of a question. If there's a last-minute leap of logic to be made, he's ready for the tapping. James, how are you feeling about the match? Yeah, you know, it's going to be a game of two halves. I think there's going to be a lot of back and forth, but hoping we can pull this one together.

All the cliches taken out early, it's going to be difficult for the other two players in midfield. We have Johnny Robbins, distributor of bold ideas and occasional whimsy around the pitch. Very comfortable distributing theories across the panel. Johnny, not your first time on Lateral. How are you feeling? I am confident. I'm going to bring some banana kicks, some nutmegs and all that other good stuff to the world of Lateral. Which is all my football knowledge out the window. Holding the defensive line today is John Cantrell, who's men.

The main job is preventing wildly incorrect guesses from getting through the back line, although occasionally he does score one himself. Not entirely sure in which net. John, looking forward to the match today? I cannot wait to get out there, Tom. I'm excited. This is the big one, the one we've all been waiting for. Let's get stuck in.

Between them, they make the team, that is. I can't keep that voice up. Between the three of you, you make the team, that is. Well, tell us about the podcast. Firstly, one of you, name the podcast. Well, it's called Here's What You Do. It's a quiz podcast out every Wednesday, and each week we set each other a brand new quiz,

loosely inspired by what we've been doing that week. So it's not just kind of Q&A, it's like three brand new quiz formats. Now, I was going to ask Johnny and John, the rest of what you said there, but unfortunately, you took everything. So Johnny and John, you have... So farrah.

Like a mercurial striker, I've been hogging the ball there, Tom, and I say, I'll only apologize. I just have a hat trick. And I am told, that you have written your own questions for Lateral today. Johnny? We have written our own questions for Lateral. It's the burden we all like to bear. But I think it's fun. It's a new way of coming at writing quiz questions. It's something we all love

doing. So yeah, why not? Let's turn our hand to this. And the main point is, can we get one over on each other? I think that's what we try to do. And John, there is a background in quizzing and TV between, well, at least two of the three of you? Well, my background is a closely guarded secret, Tom, and we will not be talking about that. But both Jim and Johnny have both worked on various bits of TV. Jim came up with or helped develop lingo. Johnny's worked on 007 Road to a Million. There's a heritage in TV and gaming and quizzing there.

And then I'm also here. Well, the team is in position. The whistle has blown. Let's kick off question one. Thank you to Harry Sands for this question. In 1851, Thomas E. Warren demonstrated his centripetal spring model, which could tilt, swivel, and roll. Many people considered it immoral at the time, but today, $17 billion worth of them are sold annually. What are they?

I'll say that one more time. In 1851, Thomas E. Warren demonstrated his centripetal spring model, which could tilt, swivel, and roll. Many people considered it immoral at the time, but today $17 billion worth of them are sold annually. What are they? Oh my goodness, immoral? Immoral! For a spring! Yeah, what was the spring attached to that in 1851 would have been classed as immoral?

And what was he inventing it for? Yeah, I guess the name really interested me, centi... Centripetal. Centripetal, which does it mean spring of 100 movements, like a century, like it can move in all kind of directions? My brain immediately went to Slinkies, and I know Slinkies came a lot later. I was just the first thing, as soon as I heard spring, I was like, oh, Slinky, Bush, I've done it, easy. They're more moving one direction.

Yeah, they are. Rather than 100. They're the opposite of what we're talking about here. Yeah, my initial thought was those. those things that our kids go on in the park, they sit on it and it's like a duck or a horse. Oh, you go back and forth? Springs back and forth and side to side and round and round.

And all that. But I don't think they're going to be selling $17 billion worth of those every year. So I think we can rule those out. Yeah. I guess is it something that was invented for one purpose and then has been repurposed for something else? So I can't think of... Like, do you find it in mobile phones

or something that new technology is now... repurposed a spring that someone used it for some nefarious purposes back in the 1850s. Yeah. My brain has gone to more suspension, that kind of thing. And perhaps it's roller skates, something like that, or like a skateboard where you've got a little bit of suspension on there. Again, I'm not sure how that's immoral. I keep thinking vaguely in that direction.

It's not for that sort of locomotion. We're not talking velocopedes or anything like that. but certainly more an evolution of a design. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. I was going to go down a velocopede's route, so I'm glad you've ruled that out. You've ruled that one out.

Aren't they like tiny dinosaurs? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if it, is it something to do with shoes? I don't know if it's to get springs in shoes, but I guess. You've got cushions in shoes, haven't you?

That kind of thing. Cushions and, like, air bubbles and standing on it and, or, kind of like a device back in those days. Cushions and standing, I think, would be good words to go for there. Is it an original version of the Nike, little air bubble that you have in there? Well, you know, standing's kind of a red herring there. Like, it's a good word. It's not quite the right.

You'll see why I went for that later. Okay. But, yeah, this is a design evolution. Does it still have the same purpose today? Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Yes.

Wow. This was arguably the first modern version of this. When you said cushion, I was thinking like a pin cushion, but that wouldn't be a, you don't really update a pin cushion. It's been the same. Yeah, they've been the same. Tilt, swivel and roll. What has those actions?

A tilt? Trying to do it. A swivel. I guess like on a gaming controller, you can tilt swivel and roll. You've got the little D-pad thing there. Like a joystick. Yes. Little early, I think, for joysticks there.

Tilt, swivel and roll. Mm, yes. And these things still tilt, swivel and roll today. I like the idea that tilt, swivel and roll could just be the nicknames for the three of us. Is it, I've got in my head those little wheels that you get on the bottom of trolleys that can kind of move in lots of different directions. Now we're getting closer. Yes, absolutely. Because it doesn't matter which way you're pushing it, it kind of goes in lots of directions.

Yeah. But they've had shopping trolleys back in the 1850s. It's immoral to put stuff in a shopping trolley. You should carry it. What might the Victorians have thought about morality and thought about things it would be improper to be comfortable while doing? Oh, to go to the toilet.

I need it to be rough at all times. It's always going to the toilet. Oh, no. I have context as well. Absolutely not. I mean, I don't think we're going down like bedroom activities. That feels a little too scandalous as well. That's not natural.

That's not like that. Exactly. So you shouldn't be comfortable during, is it, oh, is it like on a coach, like you might put on a, like on a coach journey, you know, they used to go in like a horse-drawn carriage or something that they would have, the more rickety it was, the better?

Or something in the back of my mind saying? Not a coach, but you're right that this was the morality of it. This is an attitude towards work, I think, that perhaps you shouldn't be too comfortable and indulgent while doing something serious. Is it to do with the seats that lorry drivers have It's to do with seats. Is it the office chair?

It's the office chair. Oh wow. Yes. Nice. Yes. Yes, of course. They've got the exact little wheels I was thinking about

on the bottom of those trolleys, haven't they? Yeah. Thomas E. Warren's centripetal spring model was an armchair. It was actually sold as an armchair as opposed to a modern office chair. But it could swivel, it could tilt, it could roll about on wheels.

There were earlier chairs with wheels, but this is like the first time there was a chair with all these features, and Victorian attitudes meant it was sometimes criticized as morally suspect because it was too comfortable and indulgent and managers and clerks should maintain an upright and serious posture. What would they think of us now?

I would buy a lazy boy with the wheels of an office chair on. I don't know why such a thing doesn't exist. I just never get out. Yeah. Yeah, you don't need to, there's no need to. For those of you listening to audio, rather than watching the video episode, I was subtly moving and tilting and swiveling my chair all through that question. Unbelievable.

We did not spot that. Which means we go to a question from one of our guests, and we will start with James. Chad and his neighbours bought lots of orange lip balm, fresh frozen meals and clear soda. Despite their lavish spending, the marketing teams behind these products would prefer they bought less. Why?

Now, read that again. Chad and his neighbours bought lots of orange lip balm, fresh frozen meals and clear soda. Despite their lavish spending, the marketing teams behind these products would prefer they bought less. Why? What a fair play to Chad and his neighbours.

What a shopping list. A load of orange lip balm, some frozen meals and some clear sodas. We're talking like a tab clear from back in the day. What's specific items? Like clear sodas. The second you said orange lip balm, I was like, what's on earth is Chad up to? Why'd you need so much of that fella?

Okay, I'm going to take the QI claxon here. Is Chad the country of Chad? Yeah. No. Okay. Okay. I was going to do, I was going the same way. I was like, we've got to get it out of the way. Take one for the team. Now this, it reminds me of, you know, there was that story. I think Netflix did the documentary about it of Pepsi, where's my jet, where there was a thing where if you bought X amount of Pepsi, you could win a prize. And their top prize was a fighter jet because they just assumed no one would ever win it. It was just mentioned in a commercial. It wasn't.

It wasn't like in the actual catalogue. Oh, wow. They just put it as a joke at the end of the commercial. And then, yeah, and then, I mean, I've not seen the documentary all the way to the end, so I don't know if he actually ever got his jet or how Pepsi cleared it up. But is it something similar to that?

If you bought X number of lip balm, are they going to, you know, give you a new car? Well, there was also the Air Miles guy. I can't remember the product it was. That got, I think, turned into an Adam Sandler movie among other things. Yeah, punched drunk. love. Yeah. He's just collecting barcodes of late. It was chocolate, chocolate moose, I think.

Chocolate. It was it. Chocolate pudding. Yeah. That was it. Chocolate pudding. And he, you got air miles, and he realized that the air miles were significantly cheaper, and then he could also donate the chocolate pudding, and go, like, lifetime American Airlines state or something, something like that. And it was worth it for him. But I don't see why you would be clipping coupons from very specific things. So it's not coupon-based, but one of the companies that you've mentioned does feature. So I'm guessing Pepsi.

Do they make a clear soda? Do they make like a sprite or their equivalent of Sprite? Seven Up? Are they part of it? I think they do sprite, don't they? What's there something called like Pepsi Tab or something? It was Crystal Pepsi. That was the name of the brand.

Crystal Pepsi. I don't know where that came up from in my head. That was like a 1980s thing. That is the clear soda in question, Tom, yes. Crystal Pepsi. It sounds like a pop star that we're not yet heard. Okay, so Crystal Pepsi, the fresh frozen meals. If this is American, the only brands I know from there,

I think are going to be like hungry man or stuffers. I think those are both US ready meal brands, but I don't know. So you're focusing quite a lot on the brands here. They're just examples. They aren't... They could be replaced with lots of things for the answer. Okay. It's more about the marketing teams and the lavish spending.

Chad and his neighbours. Why is it Chad and his neighbours? Where did Chad and his neighbours live? Is that something we should be investigating? Where they live is pertinent to the answer, but it's not necessarily a specific place. This feels like a stupid internet prank. This feels like an influencer buying up huge amounts of things to, like, show off what they've got,

or even corner the market and then sell them on. But the problem isn't the spending power of Chad and his neighbours. It's not the amount that they're buying, but it's who is buying the products. I mean, you can't be underage to buy this sort of thing. So why would a marketing team not want to? to sell lots of their products to a particular person and their neighbours. Like, is it they're scared of Chad suddenly bringing, bringing a reputation damage? It's not reputation as such. What can you tell me about Crystal Pepsi? What do you know about it?

Can you buy it now? Wait a minute. Orange Lit balm isn't a common thing. Can that be bought anymore? Because Crystal Pepsi can't. No, it cannot be bought anymore, Tom. Were they all over eBay? Just suck getting all of the ones that were left out of, anything that they found left. But then why would people be that desperate for orange lip balm?

It seems like a bizarre thing to sort of focus on, to buy a lot of. So what data does the marketing team use to show them whether something is successful or not? Sales data, I guess. Yeah, which stores, how much has been sold? So the sales data, so why would they not want Chad to buy the product? Oh, my... Because there are certain consumers that you can track who have really bad taste.

Yes. Because you can identify on the, whatever the US, whatever the US equivalent of a club card statement is, you can track what certain people buy. Are there certain people who consistently buy, products that the rest of the public hate? Yes, there are so. Oh, wow. Wow.

They're called Harbinger customers. And these customers are really good predictors of failing products. So research is studying consumer behavior have identified these so-called Harbinger customers. And these are shoppers whose purchasing patterns tend to correlate with products that later fail in the wider market. Wow. Incredible.

Companies sometimes find that certain zip codes or communities can unusually high numbers of these customers. So when people in those locations, like Chad and his friends, enthusiastically buy a new product, it statistically signals that the product will perform poorly elsewhere. Because they test market. And this isn't just supermarkets. Like, a fast food place will have a thing available

in just like 10 locations around the US, and they'll test whether it was... Oh! Exactly. So because of this pattern, marketers sometimes jokingly call such places Harbinger zip codes, and strong sales there can be interpreted as a warning sign that a product may not succeed nationally, even though these customers are enthusiastic buyers. So to go back to the

question, the orange lip balm was Cheeto's lip balm. Oh, my God. It was cheese-flavored. Oh, my word. That's a lot. The fresh frozen meals were Colgate Kitchen Entrays, which was frozen food by Colgate the toothpaste brand. And clear soda was Crystal Pepsi, all of which failed. Trade ice skating at Nathan Phillips Square for ice cubes in your umbrella drink. Let Porter Airlines fly you from Toronto Pearson nonstop to 10 top sun destinations in Mexico, the Caribbean, and Costa Rica. Enjoy award-winning Porter service Toronto has loved for 20 years and start your vacation as soon as you're on the plane. Book your sunny getaway today at flyporter.com. and actually enjoy economy.

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AI Cloud ERP for any size business. Thank you to Richard Atkinson for this question. Since 1969, there has been a ping-pong ball on permanent public display in one of the most secure vaults in the world. Why? And one more time, since 1969 there has been a ping-pong ball on permanent public display in one of the most secure vaults in the world. Why? Oh gosh, well, 69 was the moon landing is the only thing I can think of for that date. I'm fascinated by public display in a secure vault.

Those two things seem like the opposite ends of a spectrum to me. Yeah. Can you see the ping pong? You know, a vault suggests that it's locked and it's shut. But on public display, how are we seeing the ping pong ball? I was thinking of the vaults that you get in Las Vegas, and they are, there's a lot of activity earthquakes and stuff around there. Because it's such a small and light little thing,

is a ping pong ball, particularly subject to the movement that may happen when these plates rub off one another, something like that. Well, the crown jewels are on display, but in a vault, aren't they? Yes. Yeah, I guess.

So it could be a Tower of London. I guess if someone used the crown jewels for something, replaced it with a ping pong ball because it looks a little bit like a diamond or something, and then that would be on public display. You think it's the ping pong ball, but, and then the jewel can be used? Something like that?

James, you have identified the vault, and it is the Tower of London. That was the public display and the vaults. Absolutely right. It is on display there. You have not quite identified why there might be a ping-pong ball on display in the Tower of London, in the Crown Jewel's vault. I mean, did the Queen enjoy a little bit of table tennis? She loves her table tennis.

Yeah. This is the Royal Ping-Pong ball. It kind of is. Yeah. I'd call it the Royal Ping-Pong ball. Does it form part of a coronation process in some way? They have the Coronation spoon is a famous thing, I remember. Investiture, not coronation, but yes, this was the 1969 investiture of Charles as Prince of Wales.

Okay. Did something break, and they had to replace it quickly with something spherical that they could then paint in a gold... Gold paint colour. And you are right that it has been painted gold. Well, it has been painted, I believe, with gold leaf. Actual gold. But you're right, it's a ping pong ball coated in gold. Incredible.

Wow. So why? It must be to substitute something else out, mustn't it? Surely. Yeah, what would it be? Like on a sceptre? Pretend scepter. Not a scepter.

Wouldn't really need to be... Wouldn't really have a problem with a... The ball on a sceptre. Well, some other part of that ceremony, then, or... They don't have a whole ball. It's like an incense ball, that kind of thing. Some other big, sparkly thing. He wouldn't have a crown for being the Prince of Wales.

He wouldn't, but it's close enough. It's a coronet. Right. I've said right, like I know what a coronet is. Oh, yeah, it's a coronet. It's basically a crown. It's the fancy term for a crown that is not for the monarch. So for the 1969 investiture of Charles as Prince of Wales, designer Louis Osmond created a modern coronet.

And yes, there is a ping pong ball coated in gold there. You have not quite identified why. Oh, is it too heavy? It's too heavy. It's too heavy at the top and in the middle. And if he tilted his head even slightly, the centre of gravity would go and the coronet would fall off his head. I love that. I love that they've, I reckon they've gone through that several times.

What should we pop on? Tennis ball, no, too big, that's too much. Let's go to ping pong ball. So if you go to the jewel house at the Tower of London, and if you look at the coronet of Charles when he was Prince of Wales, that little ball at the top is actually a ping pong ball coated in gold leaf. Wow. And do they tell you that there, or are they trying to, is this a big conspiracy?

Hush it up. Yeah. So our question writer says that this is a personal anecdote. He knows someone who was told the story by the chief curator of the tower. And if that isn't a reliable source, I don't know what is. What is? Wow. There's also a reference here mentioning it in The Guardian, so take your fake.

We'll get that. Johnny, we will head to you for your question. Alex Diggleman was the first to lift the UEFA Cup trophy in 1915. Previously, he won Olympic medals due to his displays in cycling and ice hockey. How did he do this without breaking a sweat? Alex Diggleman was the first to lift the UEFA Cup trophy in 1955. Previously, he won Olympic medals due to his displays in cycling and ice hockey. How did he do this without breaking a sweat?

Oh, I think I've got something that I might just sit out for. Oh, that's bold if you only think you've got something, because I think I've got something. Oh, well, let's see if what, let's see if John can do it on his own then. Go on, John. Good luck, mate. Oh, no, no, I'm not going to sit out. I just think we all go in with a theory and see if any one of them are right.

We'll start with John. Oh, well, I'm the one without any theories, current. That's why we're starting with you. So, Alex Diggumman has managed to, lift the UEFA Cup? Is he the guy who creates these medals? Is he a medal maker? He's made the Olympic medals. He's created the first UEFA Cup trophy. He's the first person to lift it as he hands it over. I was going with the designer of the trophy. That, like, without even breaking a sweat, this is just what he does. And James? Oh, it's almost exactly the same thing. Yeah. I presumed

Marn, Diggle Marn, might have been German. And I wondered if, yeah, the first to lift it, because he's created it. So he's made it and he's won Olympic medals for his displays in these, as in he designed the medals for it. And I guess it might have been in 36 when Germany hosted the Olympics. Is that right? The trouble with writing your own questions, Johnny, is that there is now a big moment for you. Either this question has fallen immediately or you have just got to tell all the three of us, no. Which one is it? You are halfway there, I would say. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Maybe he designed, was he a designer and a sportsman? Maybe he did win it. I was thinking

florist, because he won his displays and wrestling and ice hockey. Did a lovely floral bouquet, and then he happened to design the first you-over trophy. Oh, no, he worked on scoreboards, on the displays for the scoreboard. Oh, that's. Yes, that makes much more sense than being a florist. So he did design the UEFA Cup trophy. So that's how he got his hands on that. However, I want to know how he previously won Olympic medals. Also, if you had been the person designing,

I'm assuming like crafting that trophy, making the thing, you had that beautiful trophy in front of you, and you were presumably a football fan. You would, having finished a thing, go, and lift it yourself. You would absolutely do that. Absolutely, repeatedly. I'm not sure I'll be able to keep that, keep myself away.

So he won Olympic medals, Johnny. He did. He won Olympic medals. Okay, cycling and ice hockey are two very different sports. Like, one is summer, one is winter? Oh, yes, Tom. I hadn't even thought of that. They're wildly different disciplines, aren't they? Totally different.

Do you use different skills, your kind of legs? Oh, I guess it's all legs. It's all like the Summer Olympics. It's all legs. Soul sport has been summed up by you there, Jim. It's just all legs, isn't it? Easy. What's the fuss about?

Was he in a situation where he was the only competitor standing? He won them, but I have to break a sweat, because opponents just didn't show up. Didn't the Olympics used to have other non-sporting stuff? Way back when, the first Olympics, the first modern Olympics, had some things that were more about, like, art? And I'm wondering if he painted the Olympics

or did something like that? You're very much on the right lines there, Tom. That is pretty much spot on. Oh, well, bad. So, Alex Diggleman was a Swiss graphic artist, and this is back in the time when Olympic medals were given out, not just to athletics,

but also in the Olympic art competitions between 1912 and 1948. Interestingly, he got a silver medal in 1948 for a cycling world championship poster and a bronze medal that same year in the same event for an ice hockey world championship poster. And he also won in 1936 for a tourism poster. And as you all landed on pretty quickly, he was the guy that designed the original UEFA Cup trophy,

meaning he was the first person to handle it and lift it. Thank you to Mike Salter for this next question. What is the US Air Force's upside down Air Force and what is it used for? One more time, what is the US Air Force's upside down Air Force and what is it used for? Going to Australia. Hey! Hey! Invading Stranger Things.

Yeah. We're getting all the QI, claxons going off. Yeah, get them all sorted. Yeah. An upside-down Air Force. Yeah, you see planes flying in Top Gun, because the only place I see them,

but where they fly kind of on top of each other, and one is the right way around, and the other one is upside down to have, and they have a little chat with each. other. I wonder if it's something to do with going upside down to have a chat. I don't know if you'd a whole Air Force for that, would you? Well, like the, I was thinking more like the Red Arrows and doing that, exactly that same thing, but as a display rather than just have a chinwag. I was going to space. My first thoughts

was space. Yeah, you're kind of always upside down in space. Always. I mean, you could be upside and you could be right way up. Who knows? I was thinking more it being the words and whether the words are read, so they're written, so they're upside down and therefore, but you somehow view them the right way up. Oh, yeah. Like when you see an ambulance in your rearview mirror. Yeah, yeah, exactly like that, but upside down. Why would, I mean, and also, are we assuming it's US Air Force as in the Army, but are the Air Force used for other things? I know, kind of like airmail? Yeah, because technically the Red Arrows are part of our Air Force, aren't they? They're still a military.

Yeah. So is it like that, like you were mentioning, John, do the US have their sort of version of the red arrows that are for display purposes or, you know, flying over football stadiums and inaugurations? They do. It's, I think, the thunderbirds for the US Air Force. Oh, I think the Army have the blue angels.

I might have those two or the Navy. They have two of them in the US for two branches. Okay. And this is nothing to do with those. It's nothing to do with that, but it is not an actual combat unit. You're right there. Okay. I was wondering if it's more G.I. Joe, that kind of thing. So they've got their own special army of upside-down chaps. And they, I don't know, take on whatever the fella's name is.

I can't remember the bad guy in G-I-Joe. Snake-Eyes. Cobra Commander, I believe. Cobra Commander, that's the fella. Why would you need an upside-down Air Force? Good question, James. Good question. And it doesn't necessarily have to be the planes. Could it be more to do with kind of hanging from something? And so when planes are in like a hanger, they hang upside down from the top of it to fix the top of the planes or something.

You can't see it from the ground. So you're like, you're like repelling down. Now, that's very close. I wouldn't include the repelling in there, James, but the picture you've got in your head is pretty close. It's nothing to do with where they store planes in the desert to stop them rusting. Do you store them upside down? No, you would store them right way up here.

I think I'm going to give you the first half of this question that you have identified that these planes are static and upside down. That much you've got. That is the upside down Air Force. Question of course is why. And are they full-sized planes? We haven't dug into whether they're... Oh, they are.

They are full-sized planes. Is it... They're not in active use. I wonder of whether these are... Are they collectors? They never leave the ground. In fact, they are bolted to a tower upside down. Is it so that people can get...

or pilots can get used to, either being upside down, but in the formation perhaps that they're supposed to be in, so they're used to that? No. No, you can do that in the air. This is something you cannot do in the air.

You can't repair a plane in the air. So are they teaching people to repair planes? Is it like a school for aviation mechanics? We're very close now. I wouldn't go with school, but you're right. There are technicians crawling about. I think there's probably a technical term for that. There's technicians on the underside of these planes, as in facing the sky. Right. Okay. And are they U.S. planes? Are they planes from other countries? They are US planes that would be in service, but they're probably not the top gun ones you're thinking of. They can be, but not always. So they're walking around on the bottom of the plane, essentially, or inspecting the bottom of the plane.

Yep. Perhaps testing things on the bottom of the plane. Is it when planes used to come back from war and they had all those maps with the red dots on of where they got hit? And they thought, they're the bits we need to improve. But then they went, actually, they're the bits. are fine because you've been hit and returned. It's the other... When you said hit and return, that's actually kind of the right words to use here.

Is it the best way of testing ejector seats? Because you use gravity to have them flight. No, absolutely not. 100% not. Yeah. Oh yeah, but no, you would have someone in there. You would just let us see if it were. Can guarantee this seat will eject?

Yeah. And that's something on the top of the plane. We're looking for something on the underside, and you can't test it properly when that's pointing at the ground. So the wheels are underneath the plane. There's the wheels, and that's all I know about under a plane. Missiles, those sorts of things. Guns, wheels.

Cargo space? Cargo hold? Take me through a fight scene in Top Gun. What are they always like yelling? What's the panic moment when they're... Oh, someone's on your six? Careful. They've got missile lock. They've got what? Missile lock. They have flares underneath.

What is missile lock? Isn't it when a missiles, are they attracted to heat? Is that how they work? Because it's a way of calling a plane so the missiles don't... I think you all have like a very 1960s-70s view of fighter jets here. What might a more recent plane have? We go top gun. That's where it begins and ends with us. for our, with our aircraft.

Because I guess, yeah, like you said, like nowadays, they look like sort of supersonic. Let's think about what other things could be there. You could have cameras. You could have GPS tracking stuff. Yes, you could. You could have cameras.

You can have GPS tracking. You can have all sorts of electronic warfare and radar. Yes. Why can't you test that when the plane's the right way up? Because it just look at the ground. Because it just looks at the ground. Goddeme. Oh, goodness me!

It's as simple as that. If you need to test all the stuff on the bottom of the plane that takes long-distance photos that pings off distant objects, everything like that, and you want a technician to be standing next to it at the same time, the only way to do that is to turn the plane upside down

and have it point at the sky. Of course it is. It's basically, how can we make this plane look like it's flying, still be on the ground. Yes. Just turn it upside down. And you can't perform those measurements in flight.

There's too many variables. You can't also have a technician next to it to test the thing. This is the upside down Air Force that tests electronic warfare equipment. Brilliant. From morning hockey with a cup of coffee to Timbits and Road trips. Tims and Canadian Tire have always gone together. Now it's official. You can now earn Canadian Tire money at Tim's.

Link your Triangle Rewards and Tim's Rewards accounts to earn twice with every Tim's run. Terms and conditions apply. Visit timhordens.ca. slash triangle for details. John, we will go to you, please. One morning, Betty writes down, life preserver and battery acid. Chuck takes the paper

and shouts out the same thing. A few hours later, foreign entanglements and hockey puck is announced. What does this all mean? I'll read that one more time. One morning, Betty writes down

life preserver and battery acid. Chuck takes the paper and shouts out the same thing. A few hours later, foreign entanglements and Hockey puck is announced. What does this all mean? Wow.

Hockey puck. Was Alex Diggleman there painting a picture of playing hockey? Yeah. See, foreign entanglement and hockey puck. They're all two word phrases. Spot on. Announced. They've announced a hockey puck.

What is that? What does that even mean? I can't make sense of it in my head to even talk about it. Do you know what I mean? Okay. I'm doing the mind palace thing here. Or like some neurons have pinged in my head. And the phrase that has lit up is CERN and the Large Hadron Collider. And I think that's because we have entanglements and like entangled particles, that the hockey puck could be some kind of thing. Like a thing on the graph. I just swear I've heard those words somewhere in that context before. is just big science.

You're writing as much as the hockey puck isn't a hockey puck, but other than that, you're not in the right bullpunk. Okay, okay. They're announced. So is it the... So let's say you took something in the shape of a life preserver, a circle, and you put some battery acid in it. That could create a puck-shaped thing, couldn't it?

Like the circle of the life preserver, a hockey puck's not a dissimilar shape. But what else is a hockey puck if it's not a hockey puck? if it's not a hockey puck. Is there anything else that's known as a hockey puck? It's anything that's been kind of crushed down into that shape, so like old coffee grounds or something like that? The football is the nuclear codes, isn't it?

They call that the football, not the hockey puck. But I wonder if the football is the nuclear codes, is the hockey puck something a little less serious? So they're like, they're little missiles. That's what the upside-down army deal with. I would say that Betty writes quite a lot of these messages at work. So are they spies? Do you think they're spies? Is Betty passing messages to Chuck?

And it's a code? Yeah. So is he shouting it? Is it like a war thing? Is he shouting it to troops? Does it sound different? Should we say it in different ways? Who's he shouting to? Life preserver and battery acid! I was like I'm on a marketplace. Get your life preserver, get your battery acid. So, Johnny, you mentioned who might he be announcing them to?

He does repeat it so other people can act on those words. Are these names of horses? Not names of horses. These are stupid racehorse names for a minute. That's foreign entanglements coming down the long straight. Foreign entanglements to hockey poke, foreign entanglements, honky poke, a battery acid, life preserver. He said, oh, it's battery acid by her nose.

Are we in a conflict situation during, the time of this question. No, no, no. It's more informal code than that. So are they, are these the names given to, like for instance, when doing something, I'm a celebrity, all the celebrities have a code name before going into the jungle. So you can talk about them and people don't know who you're talking about. They have that on the masked singer as well for obvious reasons. Exactly. Yes. Yes. So are we in this sort of Well, John, have you snuck a TV question in to the TV types? Oh, yes.

That'd be super stealthy. It's not a TV-related question, but the words do mean other things. Oh, are they people? Are they royals? Other things, not people. Other things, not people. So what environment might someone write down some words, hand it to someone else and have them shout it to other people?

I think it had a supermarket. If someone's lost, they shout it over the tannoy. You go, oh, read this out like an announcement. Oh, like a train station. But why would you write it down? You're not shouting it then, are you? You're not shouting. You're talking into a...

Why wouldn't you just shout it yourself? You'll come across quite a few of these on your average high street. What? Like a town crier? I mean, town criers aren't really around, are they? I'm back to race horses and a betting shop. Or a market? Like the fruit and...

Like James, you were the fruit and veg sellers. Yeah, that's all I hear. Johnny, you're a little nearer in the right kind of genre there of what this might be referring to. What fruit and veg sort of selling? Not fruit and veg selling, but it's all the right product. What? So the first sentence was in the morning. The second was at lunchtime.

Does that help you? No. Is it a cafe? Is it, you often, if you're like ordering some food, the waiter might write, down the food? Keep thinking that. They've ordered the food and then they need to restock and go and get something else?

You're very close, Jim. Ordering something. I have to restock. So who might be writing it down and who might that person be giving that paper to? Oh, so is it like the service staff writing it down, giving it to the chef? Yeah. Keep going. And so you're right, life preserver and battery acid.

And Betty's written it down. because she's the waitress, and then the guy as red shouts it out to all the team in the kitchen. And then Foreign Entanglement and Hockey Puck are the dishes that are served to the people. You are on the precipice of this, Jim. Do you know what life preserver and battery acid might mean? They're a breakfast. And Foreign Entanglement's Hockey Puck more lunchtime? Oh, it sounds like a donut.

What's around? A donut and battery acid? Donut and. lemon, orange. I'm trying to think what, battery acid, something acidic. Battery acid could just be strong coffee? You're very close. It's not quite, it's not a hot drink, but you're very, very close.

It's something astringent, like you were suggesting, Johnny. Red Bull. Rocket fuel. What about foreign entanglements and hockey puck? A lunchtime dish that's foreign entanglement. It's spaghetti bolognese. Spaghetti bolognaise, Johnny, straight in there. Well done.

And a hockey puck? A chocolate donut? No. No, not something else you might have for lunch. Burger? Burger, Jim. Absolutely right. Oh, my, it's... This is a diner. This is diner slang.

That's exactly it. How did I not get that this is diner slang before now? I've even heard of diner slang. What, so they've got their own language? Yeah. So, yeah, in old-fashioned diners, there are lots of fun phrases that staff use to make orders. more memorable, so a life preserver is a donut due to its ring shape.

Battery acid is grapefruit juice, foreign entanglements, spaghetti as you've got Johnny, and a hockey puck is a well-done burger. The first order was breakfast and the second order was during lunch. Because it's cooked well-done-thru and it looks and acts like a hockey puck. Exactly that. Isn't it quicker just to write donut and not write life preserver? Oh, that's no fun, Jim. Come on. I'm just going to add another word on here.

Which means we just have the question from the start of the show, which plant can count to two, and why does it help? Anyone want to take a quick guess at that? If it was going to be a different kind of plant, is it like a power plant of sorts? Oh, after that episode, you're all thinking far too laterally now. Yeah. I'm trying to think of plants and why they would count two. Is it to do with, yeah, I don't know, like a stage of it sort of,

it does part one and then it does a part two of the flower comes up. But it feels like most plants sort of do that, don't they? But the counting part... What might a plant be able to count? I was not thinking. I was thinking about those plants that react to music, those fake old things that kind of jiggled around. Is it like a Venus fly trap?

Yes, it is, James. Yes. Oh. Where did that come from? I'm still going to ask you why. Well, I just, because they're a kind of plant that don't feel like, they're a plant and they either, do they count the amount of seconds after a flyers landed so that they're comfortable when they're there, or is it the amount of flies that have landed on it, maybe?

Footsteps. Is it the footsteps? I think that's close enough. I'm going to give you that. The Venus fly trap catches prey using modified leaves that snap shut when trigger hairs are stimulated. However, the trap only closes if two touches occur within roughly 20 seconds. or if one hair is touched twice quickly. Incredible. Wow. Well done.

After the trap closes, there are more movements from the trapped insect and that triggers additional signals. Studies show that the plant effectively counts multiple stimulations before producing digestive enzymes, ensuring that the captured object is living prey worth digesting. So if it's hit by rain or by debris or other triggers, it won't damage itself by closing too early.

Congratulations to our players. Very tricky questions written by you all in there. If people would like more questions like that, where do they go? We'll start with Johnny. They can come and join us on the Here's What You Do podcast every Wednesday, where you can expect a whole cavalcade of bizarre, strange and often whimsical questions. And James, what do people search for? They search for, here's what you do, quiz podcasts.

We're on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, anywhere you download your podcast from. We're on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, X. Just search for Here's What You Do, Pod. John, what have the other two not covered? Well, we have a bonus show that's called Here's What You Missed, and that is all the bonus questions that we don't get time for, plus tiebreakers, plus general silliness. And if you want to know more about this show,

you can do that at lateralcast.com. We can also join the Lateral Producers Club and send in your own ideas for questions. We are at Lateralcast, basically everywhere, and there are full video episodes every week on Spotify. Thank you very much to John Cantrell. Thank you. James Smales.

Thank you very much. Johnny Robbins. Cheers, bye. I've been Tom Scott, and that's been Lateral. I is on the brink of Civil War on September 18th. Mobland. The hit original series is back on Paramount Plus. We are the Harrogans.

Don't know than it? And Google us. From the underworld of Guy Ritchie. Do you want to step up the ladder? I won't comment dead. Starring Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan and Helen Mirren. Do I have to do everything myself? You want to want!

I'll give you! Mobland, new season hits September 18th on Paramount Plus.