Leah on the Line - 10: Never had an orgasm, shaving tips & learning to love your body

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Hey my honeys! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. I hope you loved this extra girly episode, I had such a good time chatting with you about these topics and hope it helped. Thank you so much for your continued love and support on my podcast, I can't tell you how much it means! As always send your thoughts/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic? Not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer.

Hey, hey everyone. Welcome back. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Take a seat, get comfortable, take your shoes off. I'll put the kettle on, let's have a cup of tea. How are you? It's Tuesday. I mean, I don't know when you listen to this. I've had a lot of new listeners, which I love, and they're like listening to them all sporadically. That's the absolute opposite of what I mean. They're binging them all in order. I don't know why I use the word sporadically, it's wrong.

God, my vocabulary, it's actually really come to my attention that my vocabulary has really just gone out the window as I've gotten older. I think I said this last time. But, oh, how are you? How you doing, girlies? How you doing, boys? I've had a bit of an anxious time the last few days. I don't actually know if I've ever mentioned on this podcast, but I've always suffered,

not always, since I was about 20, 19. It's now about 19. I've always suffered with crippling health anxiety. Had therapy, like it was, it really took over my life for a period of time. Felt like i had it fully under control now as i get older realizing that my anxiety actually just manifests itself into different aspects of my life um it doesn't it hasn't actually ever gone away i just because it wasn't about my health for so long i assumed i really conquered it really got it all under control no it just moves on to other areas of my life but right now it's straight back onto health I'm convinced I'm dying and as soon as my life starts coming together e.g podcast got um an

audition today which you know is positive for me even though I can't attend but it's still positive getting you know I'm working again so my finances should be sorted out. I start to tell myself that a successful version of Leah doesn't exist, so she must end up dead eventually. Like, oh my god, I just keep telling myself I'm just on the brink of death all the time. But I'm not going to talk about that. But if you are one of those people, trust me, you don't know how it feels unless you are one of those people. And if you don't know how it feels, I hope you never, ever, ever do. don't know how it feels unless you are one of those people and if you don't know how it feels I hope you never ever ever do I'm so happy for you it's a very very consuming dark place to be um but because I've been here before and I've come out of it and I've gotten through it and you know come through the other side I'm it sort of helps me get through it when it when it

spikes up again, because I think, we've got through this before, we know how this works, we know this shit ain't real, yeah, this is just all a story in my head, but, um, this episode is not going to be about anxiety, oh my god, so funny, right, I was on the train, it's not funny, I was on the train yesterday, right, on the tube, on Jubilee line, to be exact, and the door's about to close, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, on runs this guy, and rather than just like throwing his whole body on the train like most people do, he just like put his head first, like I don't know what he thought was gonna happen, like obviously on the tube, they're not automatic doors, hun, like they're not, they don't just sense

a body and just reopen, like they have to crash shut before they open again because it fell to close and he puts his fucking full-on head in between these doors cheeks get absolutely mushed in between the train right his glasses poor guy his glasses broke they cracked on his face listen i don't get it this is why this is why when you hear that and the doors are closing we do not run we just pretend i wasn't even gonna get on that train anyway i'm just checking out the platform like i'm i'm not getting on that train babe don't you mean i'm not running for that train because that is exactly why he is the example of why we do not rush to get on trains and you know why because there's one every two minutes there's another one in two minutes and you just risked your life for what where are you going that you

cannot possibly wait two more minutes you've just risked your whole entire face like it's not even like he just shoved his shoulder through like most people they go in sideways don't they they're all like whoa and then they play off really cool his fucking face has cracked his glasses came flying off his face hits have hit the floor oh i was devastated for him everyone was like you're right you're right and like he was just like yeah yeah just made it you know inside he was dying i was dying for him oh my god poor boy so yeah lesson learned here today girlies is if you're missing the fucking train do not run for it and do not put your face first jesus also another story i went to the doctor

today to pick up more more of my contraceptive pill struggled to get that out um which i do actually want to do an episode on because i've had some real complications around contraception and contraception contraception and um periods basically that i would love to chat about um so i'll i'll make a separate episode maybe a bonus episode a little one about that but I went to get my weight checked and my blood pressure checked so they could release more of my prescription and the woman you know I don't know what it is any of you doctors like gpu receptionist if so like what the fuck did i ever do to you do you know what i mean like why do you hate me why do they all hate me like gp receptionist you ring

up you're like can i make an appointment no why what's the matter with you like oh my god sharon like i'm just i just need to talk about my pill like they're just they terrify me anyway so I had to go in and the receptionist do your blood pressure and stuff because you know I suppose it's a waste of time for an actual GP or nurse and I I said oh do I need to take all my trainers for this girl they're quite chunky and she went oh no you don't weigh anything anyway so it won't make much of a difference thank you and it made me realize every single time not just at this gp surgery all of them in my life and i've been on contraception for a long fucking time every time i've gone to get my um weight taken they all every single one make a comment about my way every single one that I'm really light or how tiny I am.

And look, you might think it's a compliment. And do you know what? Recently, I've been feeling a bit greedy, feeling a bit tubby. So I was pleased to hear the words, you know, it won't make much of a difference because you don't wear anything anyway. I was like, I'm like, so you think I'm scabby? Do you know what I mean? I was a bit like, thank you. But it just made me realize that every time they make a comment and like,

what if I was somebody that really struggled with body image and being underway? Or if I had an eating disorder, like luckily, God forbid, I don't. But if I did, what the fuck do you know what I mean how can you say that to a girl so uh can anyone else relate like has that ever happened to anybody else I just realized that that it's happened to me every time they always mention it and I'm always if they don't I'm I'm like am I getting a bit do you know what I mean so yeah just thought it really came to my attention today and I thought oh fucking how like that's not on is it it's really not on anyway how are you what's going on in your lives how was your weekend if you were now what did I do on the weekend oh I worked I worked a lot

and then I had a really anxious day but do you what? I had a day off work and I appreciate it. I'm going to be so busy now. This is like my last day off for like two weeks straight. It's going to be an intense two weeks. But once it's done, it's done. So there may or may not be a bonus episode on Friday. I'm going to be really, really, really, really, really busy. But I will try my best.

I do think I'm going to get Jake, my boyfriend, on the next Tuesday episode. So any ideas that you guys have for a girlfriend, boyfriend episode, any cool little features that you think might be fun, do let me know. So let's get straight into the weekly debate. This one was sent in by one of you guys this week, which I find really cool and really exciting. I really struggled. I just could not come up with one for the life of me. So let's have a look. It was, how do you feel about paying on the first date? So let's have a look. Some of your responses actually quite shocked me, to be honest, but let's just scroll down to the bottom and see what we've got. Okay. I like splitting the bill. I actually feel awkward when they pay,

when they pay it at all. Oh, do you know what? I feel awkward as well. I will say I've never been on a first date dinner date. Like I've never done dinner. I've only ever done like drinks, like a little pub day or like a little bar. I've never done a restaurant. Like for me, that is a date and that is really scary to me. So I've never done a restaurant, like, for me, that is a date, and that is really scary to me, so I've never done it, I also need just, I always need a bit of liquid courage, so I just want to get drunk on the first date, it's real, it's not healthy, it's actually quite toxic, to be honest, and shows my insecurities, but never mind, so I physically cannot relate to, like, how that would feel if you'd met them for the first time i just couldn't

imagine it do you know what it gives me the ick the thought of like sitting in a restaurant opposite someone you've just met for the first time and you like have been texting it just gives me the ick it's so awkward like what are you gonna get i might get the um steak all right billy big bollocks do you know what i mean then they start going oh you don't you don't have it uh well done do you that's fucking, that's just burnt. You know, oh, yeah, I like it blue. Oh, you're odd. Well done.

So, yeah, restaurant dinners, I mean, dinner, restaurant dates, whatever, they've always felt really awkward to me. Anybody else? I feel like that's a common feeling towards dinner dates. I mean, it's very romantic and quite mature, actually. I feel like it's quite a and quite mature, actually. I feel like it's quite a grown up thing to do. Maybe I would do that at this age, but I haven't been single at this age. Hopefully I'm never single again. God, that's a mad thought, isn't it? But yeah, I just

couldn't, I don't think I could enjoy it. But anyway, I'm going totally off topic. Let's read out some of your responses. Somebody says, it's a no from me with a queen emoji. So she's like, responses somebody says it's a no from me with a queen emoji so she's like i ain't paying hun i ain't paying i ain't staying here no i i get it i'm i'm not shocked at these people because at these people i don't mean it like that but i mean the people saying no i'm not paying i know people like that i've heard people talk like that before so that doesn't make me go like so um yeah somebody says to be honest i really don't mind i think heard people talk like that before so that doesn't make me go like so um yeah somebody says to be honest i really don't mind i think it's society standards that make us think men should pay definitely it's an old-fashioned gentleman thing isn't it like the lady should

never pay it's old-fashioned for sure um i would always offer to split the bill and would be happy to do so but if he pays that's cute and you can offer to pay for the next one now this is what i always think right if if i personally now i'll tell you my opinions what i think i would always do i would never go to a date that i i couldn't pay for like i would never order something on the menu that i didn't have the own money my own money to pay for i wouldn't i wouldn't turn up to the date without money in my bank account essentially like I'm going to that date with the intentions to pay um and when it comes to the bill I'd I'd get my card out one million percent and I'd be like

let's go half so you know like why should you pay and if he's if he's like no like I am paying for this I think if you actually like each other or if you don't it's a really good signal to decide if you do like each other because you or he could go or her depends if you're on a date with a woman or not but this is obviously we're talking about if it's you know the old school the gentleman pays so I suppose if you are on a date a woman and a woman who pays then because then you're then there's no one that's following the old school old school um stereotypes do you know what I mean so that's an interesting one I suppose that's probably a bit easier because no one's under that pressure to be like oh shit I'm the guy I should pay do you know what I mean so yeah anyway as I was saying I feel like it's a really good way to signal you know if if he pays

and he's like no trust me let me get it I really there's no way you're paying then if I want to see him again I can be like okay I'll get it next it next time. And then he'll be, or he'll be like, no, I'll pay, you get it next time. Do you know what I mean? And then you know, oh shit, he wants to see me again. Or he knows, oh shit, she wants to see me again. And if they don't say that, if it's just like, no, trust me, I'll get it, don't worry about it. Then it's like, oh, does he want to see me again? Sometimes you just, I feel like you just know, and you're probably on the same page. But then it's also awkward because I feel like if you went on a date with a guy and you really didn't get on or like it was like a shambles of a date or something I would feel bad him paying for it

because I think you work hard for your money yeah like you're a hard-working adult as am I this didn't go to plan we're not going to see each other again why should you buy me dinner do you know what i mean but then also it's like why should he only buy you dinner if it goes well but you know i mean it's a difficult one this is why we're debating it all right let's see some more responses as love as oh my god i'm literally having a stroke i fucking can't speak as lovely as it is if the guy pays unless i'm 100% sure there's a second date i'd prefer 50 50 yeah i suppose that really backs up what we were just saying i thought you should always offer to pay but on a first date i would like the man to pay

yeah so you're like i'm gonna offer for sure like i'll offer babe do you know what I mean but you low-key if he accepts your half you're a bit like whoa bit rude okay on the first date of my boyfriend I tried to pay but the waitress refused to take my card what the fuck okay as a previous waitress and I do a bit now I would never oh my god that's rude I actually think that's really rude, especially to the boy because it puts on so much pressure to him. Um, oh yeah, that's rude. I would never do that. Um, I don't mind at all, but always love an offer to split. Whoever asked the person out on the date should pay. Okay. I like that. I do like that. It's like saying, if I ask you out, let me buy you dinner. Do you know what? I think that's quite empowering

as well, don't you? It's quite like sexy. I feel like a man would find that quite attractive, being like, let me take you out. Let me treat you to dinner. I feel like that's quite sweet. Split the bill always. I don't mind paying paying but would be nice for the man to offer depends who asks if the girl asks to go out she should be fine with paying 50 yeah but then also if if he asks i think you should be fine with paying 50 do you know what i mean but if you actually think about it why should he buy you dinner like Like, let's throw out the stereotypes, the expectations of men and what makes somebody a gentleman and what doesn't. Why should this man spend his money on you? No? Does that make any sense to anybody? Like, just like he is never going to expect you to

spend money on him. You know, spend it on yourself, buy your own dinner if you want, babes. But let's say you go into a nice fancy restaurant, that bill's going to be 200 quid. Maybe even a bit more. And if you go to some fancy places in London, getting a few cocktails and bottles of wine in that, that's going to be an expensive bill. And you want him to just pull out his pocket for what if you have to think about it why should he i know it's like it's nice and it is a compliment and it's a lovely kind gesture but i don't think it's expected or i don't think it should be expected i know a lot of people think it is because they believe in you know like old school romance and they believe they believe in being a gentleman and holding the door open but you know like old school romance and they believe they believe in being a gentleman

and holding the door open but you know what's funny like a feminist will preach feminism feminism feminism and then they're like um i'm not paying my bill i'm kidding i actually feel like a lot of feminists are offended by men who say uh-uh put away. I'm the guy I'll pay. I think that is offensive to some women, especially a strong feminist. It'll be like, um, and do you not think I earned my own money? Do you not think I work just as hard as you? Do you not think my, my yearly rate is as high as yours? No business man over here. Do you want to know how much I earn? No, that's a bit far. man over here do you know how much i earn no that's a bit far but um yeah interesting um i like to go 50 50 but if the other person insists then cool i'll pay next time love that um happy to pay my way but makes me feel like they like me more or are more invested if they pay i

would agree i would agree that it feels like they are more into you if they pay but then I also feel like you can tell when someone is just doing it because they either feel like they have to or they're like trying to impress do you know what I mean um I get this one you get the next one if not see you later so she's like I'll buy the first date and you can buy the next. All right. Um, I feel like it's nice to offer. However, if he declines and pays, it shows true gentlemen. Okay. But then who, what is a gentleman in our generation? It is different. Do you know what I mean? Um, I was offered to pay, but secretly want them to, but who doesn't want to be spoiled yeah that's fair I think it's it's like you feel treated you feel like oh what a treat spoiling me such a treat

and that's the nice feeling um whoever asked the other other out should expect to pay but it's always nice to offer to split somebody says it gives me the ick you paying gives you the ick I mean the bill the bill moment gives me the ick because it's like oh here we fucking go but I also feel like do you know what is quite sexy I know this contradicts what I'm saying but when they just like go to the toilet and then they just pay and then they like sit back down and they're like and you say like oh should we get the bill and he's like oh no I've done the bill that is quite sexy because it's like I didn't do it to impress you I didn't want to cause a scene I didn't want to make you feel like you had to offer I just wanted to get it done sort of the bill don't worry babe that is really attractive

and really sexy but imagine if a girl did that I feel like that would be really sexy if a girl was like I'm gonna go get up go to the toilet and you go to the to the waitress and you're like can I settle our bill please and you pay the bill and then he's like oh can we get the bill please and she's like oh it's already done and you're just like yeah don't worry about it babe don't worry about it you can treat me next time that is really sexy and I feel like really quite empowering but only if you feel like you're gonna see each other again otherwise save your money sis I'm not too bothered I'd like the boy to offer but i'm happy to pay half intended to pay if i'm the one asking them out offer to split the bill in any other scenario

but if the one asking me out wants to pay then i would be grateful and accept of course always always show gratitude always never be that girl that sits there doesn't even get her purse out doesn't even offer like doesn't even flinch when the bill gets put on the table she just stares at him with her arms folded blinking at him like pay up hun be like oh my god are you sure that is so lovely honestly i appreciate that so much didn't have to do that that's really really nice i know like just because you're the guy you feel like you have to pay but you really don't that's really lovely just really overdo it like that um call me old-fashioned but i'd be put off by this maybe go halves on second date but not first so you're

not ever willing to pay the full bill you're like i might pay my way on the second half i mean second date okay fair you know everyone each to their own the girl shouldn't pay on the first it should be the guy or at least 50 50 i feel good if they pay i feel like i owe them something i'd rather it be 50 50 okay true i feel like if you in your head decided you don't want to see him again but you were getting the vibe that he wants to see you again and then he pays the full bill like how are you about to message him and be like I don't want to see you again after he's paid for you like that feels a bit muggy I feel like if you've definitely decided you don't want to see this boy again and you feel like he wants to see you again pay your half do not take this boy's time money and get his hopes up do you know what I mean all together like you

know let the boy down gently don't don't let him down and rob his money do you know what I mean all together like you know let the boy down gently and don't don't let him down and rob his money do you know what I mean but you know this is all just my opinion if you want to rob his money you rob it hon um I'd prefer not I think it would give me bad vibes however I wouldn't mind 50 50 so you're like if he wants me to pay it's a red flag. I wouldn't mind going 50-50, but I'd rather not. Okay. It would depend on whose idea it was or who booked the table. I'd happily pay or go halves. Green flag if the boy pays or happy to go half and half.

I would not be paying it all. Yeah, I don't think I'd ever pay it all. It would be quite attractive and sexy to like just treat him for once because I bet you'd probably be the first girl that's ever done it but then if he wasn't into you and you were into him that would probably give him the right ick probably be like oh my fucking god she's in love with me um I pay my way or pay the bill guys deserve deserve to be treated too yeah 100 um I think it depends if you ask them then you pay but if they ask you then they pay yep lots of people saying that I think for the first date split it

it shouldn't be just expected for the man to pay I'd go half unless they offer okay we've got I wouldn't expect it nor would I reject it I think that's a really good way of saying it like I would not expect it I would never be it. I think that's a really good way of saying it. Like I would not expect it. I would never be like, get your card out, darling. But if he was like, let me pay, trust me, you're not paying. I'm not going to be like, no, let me pay, please. I'll be like, no, no. Okay, fine. No, no, honestly. Okay, fine. Either half or pay for what I got. Just getting, no, you can't do that, just getting to know them, they don't owe me anything, okay, 100%, but, okay, let's never do the whole, like, okay, well, you got the steak, which was 25 pound, and I only got the Caesar salad, which was 18,

and you actually got four beers, and I actually got two glasses of wine so you if i pay um what's 18 add nine i don't know no don't do that just go let's go bang down the middle darling let's not do that fucking i'll take my advice never do that just for the sake of a couple of quid um unless he's splashing the cash going on all the fucking like getting all the whiskey in and everything then you maybe halfway through the day go what i don't know who thinks paying for this whiskey but it ain't me don't do that um i would always offer to pay or go halves but in my experience the guy usually insists on paying um if i come out i'm fine with paying but otherwise i appreciate the gesture a lot old-fashioned but i'd want the guy to pay and spoil me obviously if I'm in a relationship I'm happy to split oh my god yeah of course

so my first date with Jake we went out for drinks and we just did rounds like he went to the bar twice he got the first two rounds and then I went to the bar but he he was never like no no no like I said I'll go get us another drink do you want like what do you want do you want the same again he was like um I'll go and then I was like no no it's fine what do you want the same again he's just like yeah yeah and I just like went to the bar I actually got given them for free um and I did tell him that so he still did pay more than me but you know the thought was there okay um and I think that's a really nice way to do it like if you're going for drinks get rounds do you know what I mean be like I'll go to the bar next oh your turn to the bar I'll go to the bar um and then you could like when it's your round just get a couple of shots in do you know what I mean like

I think it's a really nice way to do it so yeah I love that debate um most of us are happy to split but would rather not I think is the gist of it um so yeah the next bit on this um episode is I came up with a little idea that I thought was quite fun so I posted on my story on the Lear on the Line Instagram page about um questions that you have that you don't really have anyone to ask whether they be about periods shaving contraception sex like masturbating like anything that is a private or secretive or taboo topic that you feel like you don't really have someone that you can talk to about it or you don't want to go to someone that knows you because it might cross certain boundaries or you feel judged I am that girl okay so I'm gonna read out some of these questions um obviously I don't have a fucking idea what I'm talking about I'm answering these as I would if I was your sister or your best friend

which I am your best friend but whatever so don't think that I'm coming from any sort of expertise like I'm not a fucking doctor okay we all know that um I'm just coming to you with what I would say if if you called me up and you're like babe is this normal do you know what I mean okay so let's go with the first one somebody says smear test question mark have you had one and should I be scared so I am going for a smear test soon. I need to book it actually. I haven't done that yet because of the complications I've had with my period. So they've called me in for a smear. Look, I'm not overly comfortable with the idea, but I also really find power and strength in doing things like that. Like I just think, let me

look after my body and give it the love and attention it needs and deserves and do things like this because I deserve it. Um, and I see it actually as a form of self care. So, you know, it's uncomfortable and it's awkward and it's cringy but we have to do it um so yeah once I've put that in and I've gone for that I will talk to you guys about how how it was for me and you know so yeah I can't fully answer that because I haven't had one yet I'm 24 and you you start them from 25 but I'm getting one just because of the complications that I'm having so yeah I will talk about that properly once I have it. But yeah, like I said, I think it's a form of self-care and self-love.

Okay, how often is normal to have sex with your partner? So I actually hate the word normal, especially in these sorts of conversations. Because normal is subjective. And do you know what I mean? So I've been in relationships where we have sex every day where we have sex once a week where we don't have sex for ages um and there is no normal because so many different things can affect your sex drive and that's something I'm going to get on to in a minute um and it depends on your mental health, your work schedule, your, um, hormones. Like there's

so many things that come into it. And all I have to say is you have sex when you want to, not when you feel like, oh, I haven't had sex with him for two weeks. I probably should. Do you know what I mean? Like never, never have sex because you feel like it's been too long and you should only have sex because you want to orgasm and you're horny and you want to make love with your partner or you want to go out and have safe very safe um protected sex because you want your body to feel that so um please ignore any idea of normal and just have sex when you want to whether that be once in a month because you're fucking exhausted and drained from work or because you've been going to the gym and it's messing with your hormones or you just changed your contraceptive pill and your sex drive's really low so don't worry about it just

just have sex whenever you want to so this is going to bring me on to one of the dilemmas, not dilemmas, sorry, responses to that that I got via DM. Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic, not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. Which is really linked, so I'm going to read hers

out. She says, I'm actually nervous and feel guilty even typing this lol but basically i've been with my boyfriend three years he's an absolute angel genuinely and he's also i think obviously very attractive prob's best looking boy i've been with but i really don't enjoy sex with him anymore i haven't had this issue in the past with anyone else and i came off my contraception to see if if that fixed the issue but it hasn't he consents I'm never into it and he's struggling to not take offense which I understand as he's paranoid it's something he's doing which it isn't as I used to be in quotes normal and enjoyed it or that I'm going off him which I'm also not it caused a fair few serious talks and awkward moments I'm stressing myself

so much all the time now over it and have no idea what to do or why it's happening love you thank you in advance lol don't have any girls in my family besides my mom so you'll be the big sister for me in this oh my god love you so god i didn't mean to shout them so basically you're saying i've been with this boy three years he's fucking fit as anything nothing has changed but for some reason i'm really not enjoying sex recently or for however long let me tell you I can guarantee and we put money lots of money not that I have it on the fact that so many girls listening to this will be thinking oh my fucking god that is me so your sex drive can be affected by so many things. It can be you're mentally exhausted, you're physically

exhausted, you're anxious, you're depressed, your mind is just occupied with other things or your self-esteem is low, your hormones are all over the place. It can be so many things and it's not that deep in terms of your relationship. I think a lot of people think oh my god there's something wrong in my relationship or I need to fix this or it's my boyfriend or I'm the problem um and that's just not the case I think the more you think about it as well the harder it's going to be to enjoy sex every time you have sex you're going to be telling yourself right enjoy it enjoy it enjoy it I've had this issue myself and I used to think to myself right get wet please get wet please get wet and that pressure is just no fucking good like you're going to tighten up more you're going to tense up more

your mind's preoccupied how are you supposed to get horny under all these under all this pressure like in not only that because you're already, you start, for some reason, it came from somewhere that you just, your sex drive was low, and you weren't enjoying it as much, um, and then you've really focused on that, and it's bothering you so much that now, every time you have sex, it's not going to feel natural, natural, and just let, let the hormones flow, and let, let the sex hormones hormones you know what I mean like you're just going to be like please enjoy it please enjoy it please get horny oh please feel good like and it doesn't you're not going to be able to like you're not going to be able to enjoy

it when you're when you're thinking about am I enjoying this does this feel good or oh I can tell in my boyfriend's face that he knows I'm not really into this I feel really bad I hope it doesn't affect his self-esteem I hope it doesn't think it's him like I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself so maybe even just take a break from sex just say do you know what let's just take a break from having sex for a bit the pressure's getting a bit too much it doesn't feel as natural anymore just take a little break maybe this just this is just an option like you don't have to do this and then when you feel like genuinelyny, maybe try a bit of self-discovery on your body, like do it yourself, like in your alone time to see if that makes you feel good and just see,

you know, whatever you can do to sort of feel more relaxed about it all. It's good that you feel like you're able to have these conversations as well like you said you've had a lot of serious talks it is good in a way that you're able to say like you know i'm not enjoying sex it's not you i'm so attracted to you you're the best looking boy i've ever been with in my life and he's able to voice how he feels but don't let that take make such a strain on your relationship i really don't think so I think focus on other parts of your relationship like sex is is important but it's not the be-all end-all like you can go through phases where you're just not horny and that's nothing to do with you or your partner it can

be anything it can be stress it can be you're not sleeping properly it can be your brain is just preoccupied all the time it can be that you're depressed do you know what I mean so yeah I think be just don't be so hard on yourself and don't put so much pressure on yourself um you know like you said you know you're insanely attracted to your boyfriend so that is not the problem I think there's just something else going on where your just brain is just a bit busy I think do you have any shaving tips um so I was talking to my mum about this on the phone earlier like because I told her about this little segment that I'm gonna do and I saw that question and I thought where did I learn to shave and it was actually from my older sister so if I didn't have an older sister I would have had to ask my friends at

school like do you shave your fanny like and I don't think I would have asked I think I probably would have felt really awkward um and been quite secretive about it so you know I can't even imagine how you got how you girls um signaled your way through this like puberty changeover as as a teenage girl because god I don't know what I would have done without my older sister um so shaving tips not really I would say just like don't use cheap shitty razors they just do cut the fuck up out of your vagina I also recommend um to be honest you get what you pay for if you get ones, they're shit, if you pay a bit more for, like, the replaceable heads and stuff, they do tend to do a bit of a nicer job, um, and also, shave in all, all directions, so, like, down, up, and side to side, and also, um, don't, I, what I've learned is, if you want it to be really, really soft, don't shave when it's

really stubbly. Like if you've shaved yesterday or two days ago and it's already stubbly, don't, try not to shave again. Sometimes you've got to, do you know what I mean? If you're on holiday in bikini, whatever, or, you know, meeting up with a boy, whatever. But if you're, if you can, let it grow out past the stubble so it's a little bit hairy and then shave because it goes so much softer if you just let it grow a little bit more than stubble so yeah i suppose those those are my only tips and if you're not someone that wants to shave my tips are you do you darling don't shave um somebody says if i get the coil will my boyfriend feel it or move it out of place i hate the pill

okay so obviously this is something you need to talk to your doctor about not me because I've I've never been on the coil nor am I a doctor but just from people that I know I know somebody who said that their boyfriend used to be able to feel it during sex but then when they broke up and she was with another boy who was actually larger, said that he couldn't feel it. So do you know what I mean? I think it depends. Some people, they say they can feel it. Some people can't.

Some people say that they can feel it with their fingers, like if they go up and find it. And apparently you're supposed to do like regular checks to check that it's still in place. But yeah, I'm not sure. I think just talk to your doctor about that one babe because I would never want to give you any misinformation um okay I love this one never had an orgasm is that normal again let's get rid of the idea of normal I I will say I think it's uncommon if you're like around a similar age to me I think it's I don't think it's as common to have never experienced an orgasm but that doesn't mean you're abnormal okay they're very different so I think my

advice to you is masturbation I think if I was in your position I would want to discover my body and how to orgasm and stuff sometimes people are like scared to orgasm I you know like if it can be really overwhelming and it can be like oh my fucking god like what is happening to my body I'm scared I'm what what is about to happen to me especially if you're a squirter you know I can be like what the fuck so um yeah I think maybe do it on your own when you feel safe and comfortable and you're alone obviously um yeah if if you if that's not something you've experienced maybe just try and figure it out figure out on on your own what you like and what you don't like and see if that helps um but you know I wouldn't worry I think

so many women like I had years of sex that when I look back was shit sex because I didn't realize what I actually liked until I'd discovered it so do you know what I mean like I I look back was shit sex because I didn't realize what I actually liked until I'd discovered it so do you know what I mean like I I thought I was having great fucking sex when I was like 17 and now I'm like 23 and having an amazing sex it's just because I know my body better so you know from your picture you you look a bit younger than me maybe you're like a few years younger so I I literally wouldn't you know never worry never worry about anything like that so again if you're putting any pressure on yourself to orgasm please don't but I will say I've never had an orgasm from penetrative sex so that is

actually really common and I found out that like a small percentage of women can actually orgasm from like actual sex so yeah I thought that was really interesting um somebody says I love my boyfriend of three years to pieces but I can't help questioning if I'm bi or not it's not very important to know because I love my boyfriend I can't stop thinking about it any advice okay I think it is important to know do you know what I mean like just just sorry I just hiccuped i need to hiccup again oh my god i did the sprite challenge earlier were you not allowed to burp god i can't pick up in oh okay i think i'm done yeah just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean it's not important for you to understand yourself do you know what i mean like this has nothing to do with your relationship your sexuality is actually separate

um you said you love your boyfriend and you're questioning if you're bi not gay so you know what I mean like this has nothing to do with your relationship your sexuality is actually separate um you said you love your boyfriend and you're questioning if you're bi not gay so you know it's fine like it doesn't affect your relationship at all you fancy your boyfriend you're attracted to your boyfriend um but I don't think that should stop you from discovering how you identify and and you know what what you believe your sexuality to be so I don't think put it in a box and ignore it just because you're in a relationship like obviously I'm not saying go out shagging girls I mean like have a little think about it and if you think you are bisexual if you want if you want that to be anybody else's business you can come out to people or if you just want to keep that to yourself you can just go do you know what I'm bisexual but that's that's up to

me to know about and do you know what it's nothing to do with anyone else i'm in a relationship i'm happy with my boyfriend but i'm into women as well and i'm happy i've discovered that or if you want to tell people go hey everyone uh i'm still with bradley everything's fine with brad but i've have discovered that i like the puss and um if anyone's got a problem with that fuck you yeah so that's what i think i think don't ever ignore whatever journey you're going on and whatever you're figuring out just because you're of your relationships like prioritize yourself this shouldn't affect your relationship if you feel like oh shit am i bisexual why is that a problem do i mean if you I mean, if you're bi, it means you're still into your boyfriend, so your boyfriend can't complain, darling, do you know what I mean, do you ever get worried when the boyfriend goes out with the boys, I always feel anxious, I don't know,

I don't get, listen, I'm not, I'm not fully relaxed, all right, put it that way, but I'm not like, oh my fucking god, like he's gonna be be cheating on me but I'm relieved when he's home put it that way but I think a lot of girls probably do get paranoid and anxious um but also I think a lot of us for us girls our comfort and our safe place is our boyfriend so when they're out like drunk and stuff it can feel really weird because we're like where's my safe person and like it's a really weird feeling but you know I quite like that Jake's my safe place but you know I'm I've in the last year I'm really learning to feel like he's still my safe person when he's away from me do you know what I mean because

after lockdown and stuff I really struggled and I think that probably makes it harder for us when our boys go out because we've had them locked down in our arms for the last two years and all of a sudden they're like I'm gone clubbing bib uh huh since when do you know what I mean so it's been a bit of a shock to the system but you know I'm okay with it um what else have we got talking about stis i'm scared of getting them slash speaking to partners about them so i think if you are gonna have a one-night stand with someone right and he does and he just tries to pop it in without wrapping him up that is a fucking red flag that is a red fucking flag and not only should you say do you have a condom i actually think i'll be out there if he didn't even bring up the

conversation of a condom that that means to me you've had sex with other girls and you've not brought up the conversation of a condom which means you're having unprotected unsafe sex and what the fuck is on your willy that you're about to put in my vagina um if you're gonna have a one-night stand or sex with somebody new for the first time or you're seeing somebody and you know you're about to sleep with them and if they don't even mention a condom and they try to have sex run for your fucking life because he does that to every girl and that's dirty mate I think it's really attractive if a guy's like oh like I don't have a condom like maybe we shouldn't yeah we shouldn't and we really fucking shouldn't you know I mean like how amazing is this sex gonna be that I'm gonna risk an STI for it not very

no no honey like I think okay do you know what we're not gonna have sex tonight rather than go even if you go well I got checked last month what what about you, I got checked last week, I don't even believe you, like, you're just, you're literally just trying to get your dick wet, I don't believe you, and it's not good enough, I'm not risking an STI for your dick, I'm not doing that, your dick is not that big, even if it was, all right, so, listen never have never have unprotected sex never do it i'm not talking about pregnancies that as well but stis all of it mate it's not worth it like that sex is not going to be that amazing i mean you can wait another day you can wait until you've got some condoms and and do it properly and do it safely, you can wait. It's not going to be that good that you cannot wait another day. I read. Okay, let's leave it there for that segment. I really

liked it though. Let me know if you want to see a bit more of that another time. So yeah, I am going to do some dilemmas today. Not that many because obviously we've been going for quite a while already, but I will do some of course. Let's have a look what we've got okay let's go with this one hey Leah I really need some advice and see you as such a big sister figure you're literally the perfect girl for me to ask but it's a long one I've been with my boyfriend for 11 months now and we're really happy but there's one problem about six months ago so okay five months in he made I'm just double checking those maths in my head those maths okay anyway he made about fucking earlier about six months ago he made a joke about the fact I have no boobs and in brackets which although he didn't

realize at the time is literally my biggest insecurity I've cried a silly amount of tears over it in my lifetime. I couldn't help myself and started crying on the spot in front of him and think it made him feel really bad because he was instantly like I'm only joking I don't care about your boobs etc. So he did reassure me but still to this day I cannot stop thinking about this comment. It obviously wasn't news to me I'm more than aware of my lack of boobs which makes me even more angry and upset that he mentioned it like why did he even need to point it out it's not my confidence massively ever since for example i can't bring myself to take my top off in front of him anymore even when getting changed when we have sex as i have in my head that it's all he'll be thinking about um that all he'll

be thinking about is my flat chest when looking at me i feel like he's off i feel like it's off putting for him that i refuse to get changed or take my top off in front of him, but it makes me want to cry when I think about doing it, because I just know that one comment that me having no boobs is something that has obviously sprung to his attention before. I just feel like shit about it all the time, don't want to bring the incident back up to him six months later after he already reassured me at the time, because it might annoy him, and to be honest, I don't know if anything he can say will make me feel any better it's literally my dream relationship i just wish he hadn't massively not my confidence and made me feel not good enough for

him because it's a comment i don't think i will ever forget thanks leah love you love you too now i totally understand this listen i'm an a club a cup i was about to say a club i mean we could start an a club i'm an a cup if that I don't wear bras basically essentially there is no sag there is nothing to droop there is there is nothing to even cup I don't even have a handful okay but here's my thing I'm okay with that and all my life from boys I've been with they tell me I've got no tits pancakes like a boy when I lie down and it's never affected me and I think the reason it hasn't affected me is because I don't see it as a bad thing I don't see small boobs as as unattractive personally I've never thought that I think

the difference between us because obviously we both have small boobs, yeah. Jake says to me all the time that I've got no boobs. He cups my boobs and goes, I love your massive tits. He knows they're not massive. He does it to wind me up, but it don't wind me up. And I think your boyfriend made that comment about your boobs because he doesn't see it as a negative thing. Like you said, he just made a comment that they were small he wasn't he wasn't like insulting them i think he said it was like a joke or something and if he thought it was a bad thing he's not going to do that like he's not going to be like obviously some boys are like i love massive juicy bouncy boobs and they're not for you or me but a lot of boys love small boobs or a lot of boys couldn't give a fuck as long as you got a

nice juicy ass um or you know what some of them don't even like they are some of them just like your fucking toes but what i mean is i just genuinely don't think he sees small boobs especially yours because he loves your body and he loves your titties he doesn't see them as small being unattractive he's like yeah they're small it's a fact like i didn't think that that was like a secret or like an insecurity thing like i thought you know your boobs are small it's not like i insulted you they are small doesn't mean they ain't fucking sexy i mean don't mean they're not sexy and perky and sexy little pointy nipples you know they're just small hun and i genuinely think just because

the fact that he said it to you and like you said he instantly was like oh babe like honestly i don't care like i love your boobs i'd never i didn't mean it like that i i genuinely hand on heart think you took it like that because it's always been an insecurity for you and i don't know whether that came from you being like picked on at school you know like i've i've got picked on at school of having small tits but I also just thought you know what I'd rather have my tits than yours but because maybe it's come from somewhere that someone's told you in your life that having small boobs is a bad thing whether it be society or friends or past boyfriends or whatever um but your boyfriend now doesn't have a problem with it i only think um yeah i think you have

the problem with it and he doesn't so when he's mentioned it you're like what the fuck are you saying that for you little prick but actually he's like what baby your boobs are small i fucking love them i love your tiny little tits do you know what i mean i love you this is what jake's like he tries to motivateboat my boobs. I'm like, that's my rib cage, hun. You're literally shoving your nose into my actual bones. Like, that actually hurts. But he still does it.

He still goes, brrr, on my chest. And do you know what? I love them. I love my tiny boobs. I can wear really nice size four tops and make myself feel skinny. But actually, it's because because i got no tits don't worry itty bitty titty committee coming through baby like there's nothing wrong with it um i'm really sorry that that you're you're feeling like this because honestly i can't

stress enough how much you don't need to be embarrassed about it like small tits are sexy big boobs are sexy small boobs are sexy pointy boobs are sexy wonky boobs are sexy do you know i mean boobs they're just fucking they're just fat on your chest that feed our actual children like i'm not concerned and neither should you be i think you're fit as fuck hun do you know what i mean and your boyfriend fancies the hell out of you he would never make that joke if he was trying to insult you he would never do that your boyfriend would never do that to you said it's your dream relationship focus on that focus on the fact that your boyfriend doesn't see it as a bad thing and get them boobs out girl get them out that's

what i say get in the shower with your boyfriend and get your tits out and get them out proud get your tits out is the uh moral of the story today everyone okay girls i think i'm actually gonna wrap up this episode here i only did one one dilemma, but I wanted to, I've really wanted to do that segment today. I really just wanted, if anyone needed any advice or just had a question they wanted to get off their chest, I really just wanted to do it. I had the idea this morning. I was like, fuck it, I'm going to do it. More dilemmas next week. I really want to get Jake on the podcast again. Let me know if you think that's a good idea and what sort of fun features would be good to have like a boyfriend and a girlfriend doing on the pod um i hope you guys are all right i hope

you have an amazing week it's tuesday we've got the beautiful week ahead we've got miserable monday out the way it's tuesday well i don't know when you listen to this but if you're early i love you send me um tag me in your stories on instagram of you listen to the pod i love seeing where you are when you listen to it take a pic right now at this moment in the pod put on your story and tag me so i can see where you are um yeah i hope you guys love this episode i hope it brought you some comfort it's very girly one this week not so much about the boys which was nice and refreshing for once um and yeah always here for you always here when you need a friend or a big sis or a little sis if you're older than me um and always my dms always open and you'll always have me for life

darling wish me luck for the busiest week ever or two weeks oh hopefully i'm in control of my anxiety i've been freaking out this entire episode because I'm convinced that I'm dying, but I'm just trying to ignore it. I've got an elastic band on my wrist, which is an old technique that my mum taught me. For anyone that struggles with anxiety or intrusive thoughts, when they creep into your mind, just flick an elastic band or a really tight hair band on your wrist and it hurts. It shouldn't be like fucking painful like it shouldn't harm you but it should you know it sends signals to your brain and that should get you in out of the habit of allowing your intrusive thoughts to develop but anyway i love you guys so much you guys are the best friends ever um and i can't wait to see you on

friday if i actually manage to get one out we'll see if not see you tuesday i love you bye