Leah on the Line - 100: He cheated on both of his exes, but will it be different with me?

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leo and the lion happy tuesday happy tuesday everybody how are you how was your weekend is it just me was january gone really quick like normally january is the month for me guys that it is just hell like it just feels like the longest month like i've always thought i would hate to have a birthday in january my sister's birthday's in january 31st of january she's an Aquarius that's coming up we're actually going to a comedy night for it it's gonna be such a laugh honestly well fucking hopefully if not we might be laughing at their expense no I have this like sympathy pain like if I was like watching somebody perform and I sense like loads of nerves or like if they just haven't captivated

the audience and you know they're not funny or like you know if you're watching someone and they mess up their choreography I feel that oh my god like I just want to hug you it's fine everything's gonna be fine so yeah to be honest I'm just hoping that they have all have great gigs and it's gonna be really funny but if not it's just nice to spend some time together in it guys you know what i mean it's all about memories so guys i've been to the cinema twice this month week sorry three times actually three times this week do you know what i've seen okay let's kick it off with with mean girls the movie all right listen listen listen up you guys may or may not know i am such a huge fan of the mean girls musical right i love it i breathe it i think it's just heaven right

and listen i think the musical is a work of art i saw it in in broadway and i saw it in Broadway and I saw it in Miami on tour. Okay. It is incredible. The musical is amazing. It's my favorite. And listen, Waitress, I've seen seven times, maybe eight. And it's above Waitress for me. It's that good. It's fucking amazing.

The songs are amazing. The casts are always amazing. Like it's fucking amazing the songs are amazing the casts are always amazing like it's coming to the west end so what i want to say is if you've seen the movie don't let it put you off okay because that movie i don't know who she was i don't know they're not related the the stage production in that movie they've never met like they are they are enemies to be honest. It is not a good sign for ticket sales, is all I'm gonna say. Like, just please take my word for it and trust me that the musical is incredible.

It's such a good night. It's so funny. The talent is incredible. Like, the songs are amazing. I did a TikTok today where they compared the film version to the musical version side by side and it was like i can't even watch when she touches his hair and i've watched a snake eat a cow and then on stage it's like i can't even watch when she touches his hair and i've watched a snake in a cow it's just totally different so yeah Mean Girls I gave it actually a 2 out of 10 which is

low okay no I give it a 3 out of 10 because of Renee Rapp okay she's amazing so I give it a 3 out of 10 because that I also loved what's the guy called Damien I loved the guy who played Damien I think he was great so Renee Regina and Damien were unreal janice was actually really good as well but yeah it was just the whole film i was just like this is just not vibe i don't know i they should have just filmed the stage production if that's if that's what they were doing i don't know but um yeah i still think it's worth a watch just to sort of just so that you know what people are talking about because i'm like one of them people where like to be honest everyone's talking about salt burn at the moment and I haven't put it on and you know what nothing's tempting me too I'm not doing it but Molly May likes it so it must be

good Molly May effect okay anyway so Mean Girls right but I also watched Anyone But You twice, twice in a week. I went on Tuesday and I went again on Saturday. It is so fucking good, guys. I am unwritten. If you know, you know, it is so good. Staring at the blank space before you open up the dirty window do you know what i've realized guys you might realize guys that song is one of them songs no one has ever i refuse apart from the guy in the film whose name i cannot tell you and I've seen the film twice but anyway no one has ever put that song on their own playlist like to be fair I'm sure they have I'm sure that is in lots of people's playlists it's a legendary song but what I'm gonna say is no one goes ah Alexa play Unwritten by Natasha Benenfield until now obviously sorry if i've set off anyone's

but what i'm saying is even though no one's really to be fair i'm literally talking about myself not many people just like listen to it on their playlist like it's like a go-to song everyone knows it everyone knows the words staring at the blank space before you open up the dirty window like i i i know i'm not on on it with the lyrics but i'm close enough and just you guys sing it i bet you can get further in that song than you think you're gonna find reaching for something in the distance so close you can't remember the last time you chose to listen to that song. Why do we just know it? Do you know what I mean?

So funny though. Honestly, it's such a good film. 10 out of 10. I give it 10 out of 10. And I'm a harsh critic when it comes to films i get really sleepy in the cinema do you know what that confuses me so much right because when i'm in bed at night i need pitch black and if there is the the tiniest bit of light coming through my door i can't bear it i can't bear it okay I can't bear it. Okay. If there is noise going on anywhere, it's all I can hear and it drives me fucking crazy. At the cinema,

I'm so uncomfortable because my local cinema hasn't been refurbed since 1990, to be honest. It's so uncomfortable. Yeah. It is so fucking loud. I don't know what it is, but recently, I feel like they've just turned up the volume, that, on my ears, I'm really sensitive, it's so fucking loud, you've got a bright screen in your eyes, why do I fall asleep, like, so relaxed,

all the time in the cinema, spend £10 on a ticket a ticket guys who remembers the days when you used to be able to go watch film on a saturday morning for a quid what a throwback do you remember that i used to milk that i used to eat that up every saturday morning i was like see you dad like every weekend at my dad's see you dad i'm off to the cinema like loved it in the morning dad can i have a pound please can i have a pound dad i've got cinema in the morning with my mates how funny i couldn't do that now could you couldn't get much for a pound these days also i don't know how much they charge for a freddo but have you seen the size of the freddos i feel like people don't talk about that we're looking at freddos for the price pick one up have a fucking feel it's about two chunks of a dairy milk bar if that

maybe chunk and a half it's insanity also you know what else i realized recently on the topic of chocolate and how it's changed remember celebrations yeah they used to be i think it was like 700 grams or 600 grams and now it's like not that i don't know nowhere near that and do you remember you get galaxy truffle in there and topic is it called topic yeah topic and galaxy truffle replaced that with hmm what is that eclair and milk milky way perhaps oh i'd love to know what ones you guys this is christmas talk and it feels criminal but nah it's fine it's just chocolate what do you guys go for and first pick i can guess your answer it's's a teaser, isn't it? It's a Malteser. I'm a Malteser girl. Yep, absolutely. And then once they're all gone,

in a box of celebrations, I'm going for a Twix, I think. Oh no, Twix replaced one of them. Twix was definitely a replacement of one of the old ones. So, yeah. That was lovely. Everyone do a nice big yawn isn't it funny how you can make a yawn come on but the the feeling beforehand waiting for it to hit and for it to be real is weird we'll do that now

ain't that nice what are you guys up to anyway what you're doing right now let me know oh that was so snotty of me let me know also I inquired about a couple of nose jobs this week I've been chatting to some doctors you know just like getting some info um not sure when that might be happening maybe if a miracle happens you never know um so I'd just like to know what we're working with and i had to send this doctor some pics of my nose from either side the center and the nostrils from below i said listen the reason i'm i'm talking to you is because i'm insecure about my nose and you want me to send you a picture from underneath of my nostrils, yeah, no, I get it, I understand, I understand why he would

ask me to show the nostrils, anyway, I thought, I don't know if I've got enough pixels on this camera to show you my nostrils, anyway, he said, whoa, yeah, we can definitely help, nostrils on anyway he said whoa yeah we can definitely help and he quoted me I think it was about 4 000 which isn't too bad and that is in Istanbul but it doesn't include flight or hotels or transfers or baggage or anything else so that's just for the surgery I was like oh okay I'll get back to you on that one thanks for your time but yeah sometimes you just gotta know what you're working with you know because I go through phases of my nose where some days I'm like you know what who needs perfection we we we you know we can't have it all you just gotta accept yourself for who you are life's too short let's focus on all the things that you do have, which is, you know,

I'm not gonna list them, because I don't like to jinx them, but you know, and then the next day, I'll be like, look at that absolute fucking honker on my face, get that chiseled, do you know what I mean, I can't cope, so today was one of them days, but that's all right, anyway, you're beautiful just the way you are, though. Just not me. Pick me, pick me. No, I'm just saying because I sound like such a hypocrite, don't I? We're all the same, aren't we, really? All right, guys. So the weekly debate this week, I'm really looking forward to getting into that. It was inspired by one of your dilemmas. from the response a lot of you are really excited to

hear this and you think it's a great question so shout out to the girl although not really because you are going through it yourself at the moment but then also just appreciate that you wrote in because you know it sparked a great conversation hopefully the weekly debate responses might help you when we get to your dilemma so yeah I hope you guys are all feeling really good today thank you so much for choosing leah on the line to listen to out of your list of podcasts when you were choosing your episodes just now that means absolute world to me i appreciate you so so so much let's get into the episode thank you so much for listening to leah on the line head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas

and confessions remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates enjoy the episode love you okay everybody so the weekly debate this week I'm just going to go straight in and ask okay I'm really excited to hear the answers so my question is you're dating someone everything is going perfectly then you find out that they cheated on their last two partners what are you doing okay because we discussed do you believe in once a cheat always a cheat blah blah but i'm curious to know you you're with someone you've seen each other it's getting kind of serious and then you know you might come on to the conversation of like oh so tell me about your past relationships how did they

end and we're getting a bit of honesty here i did actually cheat on them oh no that's awful okay what about the one before cheated on them as well as well. Do you know what I mean? So how are you feeling? Let's have a look. Run is the first response I'm seeing. Another run. Another run. Running emojis. Okay. Just dating, I'd leave. You lied. Oh, I'd leave you lied oh oh we don't know if they lied wait what how did I word this okay but yeah I get you if you're just dating it's like okay I don't need to get into this realistically do I um leaving and glad that I found out we found out while we were only in the dating stage yep nothing but I am super vigilant and aware that if they do cheat no chances oh and if they do cheat no chances yeah but then I guess you are giving them a chance in the first place by saying okay you've cheated on all your exes but let's

just you know I'm giving you a chance not to cheat on me and then what if they did then it's like could have seen that one coming but then it's one of the things where it's like do you hold someone's past against them or do you is is this a case of you know he's he or she they're telling you who they are and i'm just choosing not to listen or maybe that's not who they are you know it's difficult let's carry on reading big ick I'm humble enough to know I won't be the last to be cheated on if I give them the opportunity great perspective it's true yeah you know um I would have a serious chat with them about why but it is a major red flag but then like can anyone ever give you a reason why they cheated and and you feel any better about

it like even if they turn around i was like oh well you know they were cheating on me so okay then leave like don't you know like i can't think of any reason somebody would give me why they cheated like even if i sat someone down and said why tell me why and they gave me a reason what i can't think of a reason that is going to make me go oh fair enough you know proceed with caution i'd be expecting the same to be done to myself right see so in that case are you not better off just being like okay you know do your thing just not with me you know um someone says oh fuck me i don't even know yeah mood i can't deal with the daily insecurity no matter how much he reassured me so boy bye yeah that's the thing. It's like, do I want to sign myself up to worry and fear from day one? Like,

do I not just want a guy who hasn't cheated? Do you know what I mean? Or at least if they did, it was a long time ago and it was once and it was your biggest mistake. Do you know what I mean? If it happened twice in a row, then I don't think they learned from it I'd end things great point um I'd want to know how long ago were these relationships and it depends if he told me or if I found out myself that is absolutely true if it was a case of your you know maybe you're getting messages from the exes saying just so you know I've seen you're involved with so and so they're a big fat cheater or if it's like like i said at the beginning where you you're having conversations about how your relationships ended and they're like you know i'll be honest i did cheat so that is such a good point i'm dumping them once a cheater always a cheater you cheat once you'll do it again

okay if it was any time within the last two years and two partners i'm running for the hills yeah we're talking last two partners um asking a ton of questions why did you feel the need to cheat did you know the people who they cheated with or were they randomers could i speak to your exes about it um really all depends how they found out about the previous two times if partner told them or someone else did etc yeah i feel it would create trust issues as i've been cheating before and i'm already wary yeah this is the thing like it's hard enough out here trying to trust people these days not only when you've given me a reason not to. So, I'm talking to them. I need the deets.

Once a cheat, always a cheat. Continue, but be wary. Start an argument, lol. Why didn't you mention it before? Did you get cheated on? The past doesn't reflect the future. Absolutely, yeah. Okay.

Nothing. I've cheated before in bad, toxic toxic relationships but i would never cheat on my boyfriend we've been together almost a year and a half and he's my person i would never cheat on him i don't even notice other boys once a cheat always a treat cheat isn't true although i know it's many people's opinions it just isn't i was very immature and in a bad stage in my life and i've grown up so much and I'm so embarrassed of doing that to people um people change I love that I absolutely love that and I think a lot of people might have needed to hear that thank you I love that I'm ending it um once

you've cheated I could oh if you've cheated once I think once okay fucking hell Leah once cheated I could overlook as people can change but not twice yeah I do agree I can get that I'm proceeding with caution um nothing hello red flag this is my situation I've been going out with my boyfriend for a year and I can't stop thinking about how he was cheated in the past and how he won't do it to me. I'd be protective of myself and my feelings and get to know them properly as a person. But the thing is, as I know we all say like, oh, I'd proceed with caution and like I'd protect my feelings.

How? Like what is proceeding with caution? Like what does that look like? Either way, if someone cheats they're gonna it's gonna fucking hurt I guess it's a case of like oh you're being cautious in terms of what are we asking to check the phone are we asking for a location like are we being extra eyes on because if so like fuck fucking hell you know like exhausting and I always say this like I never want to go looking for someone cheating because it's like I don't I don't okay how do I word this without

just babbling for too long what it is right is I don't want to be the type of girlfriend that's like can I see your phone can I have your location can you text me when you get there can you text me here can you text me there can I call can I call you when you're out because if I feel like you're literally on tag in a relationship with me then it feels like the only reason you aren't cheating is because I'm making it impossible I'd rather give you all the freedom in the world and you not cheat on me do you know what i mean like that's the kind of girlfriend i want to be is i don't want you to not cheat on me because i've made it impossible for you because i'm on your dick every second where are you where

are you why are you do you know what i mean so yeah but then yeah i get you i do get you it's stressful i would break up with them unless there is a super valid reason but this is the thing what that i don't think that is a valid reason to cheat just end the relationship if you want to be with somebody else end the relationship i don't think i'd be able to just ignore that or trust fully 100 especially if it was recent i'm talking it out with them i'm talking about my concerns yeah i would end it unless the person is going to go into therapy or doing some serious self-reflecting that's such a great idea actually like if you want me to get involved with you

i need you to see you doing some self-development here you know um i'd get annoyed but carry on and proceed with caution i'm taking things slow red flag run run run leaving especially if it's been in the past if it's been the past two and not just a one-off props be extra insecure but ride it out um I would definitely reconsider for sure everyone makes mistakes but two exes no yeah I feel ya okay guys so I feel like we're all kind of not sure how to navigate that situation by the looks of that like it's almost a bit like I don't really to be fair there there are quite a few of you that was like I'm out of town like see you later babe I'm I'm immediately done but I feel like a lot of people you know we're all a bit like I don't really know what I would do with that because it's like I don't want to judge you I don't want to make assumptions about you but then also I don't want to get hurt so that that is a tricky one I do feel like it's

probably safer to just find another one because there's millions billions even do you know what i mean but when you really really really like someone especially if you've had this you know maybe you feel like you've got a twin flame connection soulmate connection it's like oh fuck what am i gonna do now you know all right guys anyway thank you so much for sending your responses to the weekly debate i love you and appreciate you more than you'll ever ever understand if you have any weekly debate ideas please send them in leahontheline.com let's get into some dilemmas okay everybody so i'm gonna kick it off with this one it says hey gorgeous please could you give some advice

of course thank you for calling me gorgeous I hope this makes sense I'm terrible at writing stuff I'll say no room me and my boyfriend are both 21 we recently agreed not to go on a summer holiday this year as we want to prioritize saving money to buy a house I was holding my boyfriend's phone when I saw a chat named lads holiday I asked what it was about and he said that they were just talking about one but nothing had been planned yet. Okay, so you've made an agreement. No holidays this year. Or at least you've said you're not going to go on holiday together. Because, you know, you're saving for a house.

And he's planning a Lad's Holiday. Brilliant. Nothing had been planned yet. I asked if he'd be going and he said yes okay he lives at home and doesn't have many bills so he can save more money than me as i'm currently renting he could tell i fell off after and tried to justify it by saying we talked about going on a city break so he'd still be going away with me which we said we do so that we can still get the chance to get away but not spend too much money it was only as it would only be three days max but why should he still get to go

on two holidays am i right to be upset as i feel like he's not prioritizing our future whilst i'm sacrificing a holiday and he's still planning on going on one i already have some insecurities as when he went on a lad's holiday last year he was pictured with another girl what do we mean pictured like you know who was this girl what were they doing in the pic i wish i wish we had attached photos babes i would love to see her he promised me he didn't do anything with her but it really upset me that he was even in that situation in the first place yeah to be fair if i even saw a picture of my boyfriend on a holiday and there was like an a centimeter of a high hill on the floor within within a meter i'm like who's that zooms in uh who's that i know them hills they're from public desire who is that they're a size four. Who's she?

All right, carry on. He promised me he didn't do anything with her, but it really upset me that he was even in that situation in the first place. And it was the first thing he told me when he got home. So I didn't feel like put at ease with the holiday, if that makes sense. I just wanted him to get back there. Sorry, get back and there have been no problems i also asked that he'd message me every night when he got home just so i knew he'd be back safe as i'd be up worrying which he didn't do for one of the nights oh fuck no that would actually send me spiraling seriously i'll be on a plane i'm on a plane i'm sorry if you if you're texting me just got in babe every night and one night i'm not getting it i'm on a plane i'm on the next flight

yeah um honestly i just want to say to him that if he goes on the holiday he can find himself a new girlfriend whilst he's there but it would be good to get your perspective love you bye okay so do you know what as i was reading this I was thinking you know what like he his outgoings are less than yours like unfortunately he just can't afford a holiday and probably still be able to save as much as you because like we said his outgoings are less um did I say more the last time his whatever anyway his outgoings are less so he can save more right but then you said about this trust issue thing so i was like right okay it's making more sense why it's it's unsettling i think the saving situation is one thing but i don't think it's the real issue why

you're pissed off about it i think it's because you don't like how it feels when he goes on a lads holiday because of your experience with it and because now like there is an issue of trust which seems to be his fault to be honest for the lack of um support and reassurance um so yeah i feel like there is a lack of trust there and and you not wanting him to go on holiday isn't really about isn't really about the saving situation i think it's probably because you don't want to spend five nights stressing feeling shit thinking i hope he isn't fucking cheating on me so for you to say like i feel like saying you know what if you want to go on this fucking holiday find yourself a new girlfriend mate there may be underlying issues like it may be a case of maybe you don't actually want to be with

him because to say like find yourself a new girlfriend it's crazy to go from like we're saving for a house together to if you go on this holiday it's over I feel like there does need to be some conversations here that need to be had and maybe you need to come to an agreement of like look if you're going to go on this holiday we'll need to set some boundaries in place of like don't not fucking text me when you're out all night i might need the odd face time because there is an issue of trust there and i am just asking you for a bit of support through that you know it it is it isn't a nice feeling when you're on holiday it's just not if you're there for five nights it's gonna be a shit five nights for me it just is you know but then also you have to remember that we get to decide how how we want to spend them

say he's going for five nights right we get to decide how we spend them five nights you can decide you know what i'm not going to stay in on my own doing my normal routine like sweating and stressing over my boyfriend i'm gonna book in plans with the girls my sister my mom whatever like my cousins my friends whoever it is we're gonna book in some plans i'm also gonna schedule in a night just for me to hang out with myself and read a book and get in the bath and have a lovely me night doing all the things that I love most eating my favorite food having some chocolate dip strawberries whatever it is and enjoying it and watching your favorite series or your favorite youtubers whatever it is and just decide I'm not going to sweat over you and also it's I think we need to pick up this

mentality of like sitting there and going oh my god like is he with a girl like oh my god like where is he where is he it changes nothing you I think we need to adopt this mentality of like you're just fucking incredible and if someone is going to fumble that and fuck it up that is literally so embarrassing for them and it's it's them that has to live with that like it's them that has to move on with their life knowing they fucked it up you you will be happy no matter what you know if somebody causes you pain that's only temporary you will move on to something better because anyone that hurts you is not good enough anyway full stop so i think let's adopt that mentality but also yeah have this conversation of like look i don't i don't like this but i'm not going to stop you i'm just asking for a bit more support through it

you know does that make sense okay all right let's go with okay i think this is the one okay no no this isn't the one about the weekly debate but it is a very interesting one so we're gonna get into it okay hey girl I love the pod so much thank you so much I love you been listening for a year and a half maybe so I thought I'd share oh my god such a long time that's actually so long a year and a half oh how exciting I love you so much we're long-term besties at this point okay I think I'm overthinking my situation massively so me and my boyfriend of two years are in a long distance relationship as I'm at uni and we only see each other once every few months

and because of this we tend to have phone sex about once a week but the other night we were on a call and we were getting into it and he said that he'd rather go and do it by himself. Now, immediately, I just thought he's going to watch porn, which is, I'd already explained at the start of our relationship, isn't something I find respectful. OK, so you've had this conversation like, I don't like the whole porn thing in relationships, right, at the beginning. Okay, so you've had this conversation like, I don't like the whole porn thing and relationships, right, at the beginning. But even if that isn't why, I think I find it a bit insulting. I don't really know what to do about the situation. This is such a random dilemma.

Sorry, girl. Lots of love. Oh my God, why can't I help you? I think it's because I'm not taking enough gaps to breathe when I speak. Anyway, so this is a difficult one I'm I'm very offended if I were you like if if I'm on the phone with with my man and we're getting down and dirty yeah and then he's like you know what I think I'd rather just do this alone are you okay are you actually joking me right now no i'm you are so single to me at that point if you're gonna say that to me you're single if you're gonna turn around i think

i'll just do this on my own you're single sorry you don't need me clearly we this year nah you're single babes like i'm ending it over that I don't even think I'm joking guys if my boyfriend said to me I think I'd rather do this alone like I'm sorry imagine you were like having sex or like getting about to have sex and then they went I think I'd rather just do it myself are you actually no I'm sorry I that's weird babe i find that proper crazy like i don't think i don't think i could move past that i don't think you're overreacting am i overreacting wait listeners what do you think am i overreacting is this crazy am i being crazy right now but i don't think i think so guys just imagine it i'm not overreacting surely like guys

imagine imagine you're on the phone with your boyfriend you haven't seen him for ages and you get a bit horny together and then you're like oh yeah what would you do to me and he's like i think i'd rather see this on my own bearing in mind it's not out of shyness where you know oh this isn't really my thing they've done this they've been doing this and all of a sudden nah babe you're not doing it for me baby girl you're not doing it for me i'm off i'm off i'm gonna do this on my own i'm gutted i'm so i am mortified i'm leaving the country no i'm sorry you're leaving the country like i'm literally shipping you away out of my sight nowhere near me again like that i don't know how i would recover i think i would just combust okay how did you respond oh you poor thing like that would really hurt my self-esteem as well

how would you respond babe i think i'd rather what did you say that he's the words he used he'd rather go and do it by himself god i should write babe i think i'm gonna go and do this by myself and you're like oh okay yeah yeah that's fine oh yeah me too i can watch porn i can get with that yeah i Yeah. I can get on board with that. I can get involved. I can watch porn. Yeah, I'm into it. No, I'd be like, babe, I think I'm going to go and do this by myself. You are, are you? Okay. Well, do me a favour. When you hang up, delete my number. Yeah, that's what I'll be doing. Oh, babe, that's what i'll be doing oh babe that's that's tough i don't know what you should do i think you should talk about that and say like you know is there a reason you know to be fair

it's probably not it's probably not that deep i'm probably overreacting it's probably not deep maybe he just couldn't really be bothered maybe he's a bit tired and just fancied a quick one maybe he was feeling a bit shy too shy too shy you know i'm sure there's a valid explanation for this so don't listen to me who's made that very dramatic upon reflection there could definitely be a valid explanation for this so have just have a word and you know how come you fucking pied me off hard mate just out of curiosity how come you absolutely launched a triple whipped pie in my face that night just out of curiosity you know let me know love you babe also on the topic to the girl whose boyfriend watches porn after porn after porn after porn after porno please give us an update we're just screaming we want to know if any of you have any

updates please send them in honestly i love them so much please please please please all right let's do another one okay hey leah help, this is the weekly debate one, guys, I've been seeing a boy for about a year and a half now, oh, fuck, I didn't actually process that the first time I read this, a year and a half, we've been chatting on and off for the, for the time we've known each other, okay, Fez, and I've always, um, oh my god, sorry, why can't I get this in my brain, and always have really liked each other, but he is at uni two hours from my uni town, which is his and my hometown. Okay.

Every time he comes back home, he makes effort to see me, but recently he's laid it on very thick and told me he thinks we should make it official. Stun. Okay. He's amazing, very smart, gets on so well with my parents who love him is chatty so funny and

still after all this time i smile at my phone when he texts oh this is lovely okay the only problem is he has a history of cheating he has cheated on both of his previous girlfriends he's 22 now and did this when he was 17 to 20 ish and of course he's giving me the talk that he's changed and i'm different oh not the you're different it's different with you it's different with you literally shut up like seriously um i just don't know how i will cope with him being so far away i'm scared i will drive myself mad worrying he also has a huge reputation for himself of sleeping around he slept with around 100 girls and i just don't know if i can trust the idea that he's matured enough to settle down at 22 we haven't slept together in over a year because he says

he wants to prove to me that the time he spends with me is for me and not to have sex that's interesting okay we always said if we were both single by the end of uni summer 2025 when he moves home we'd get together and give it a proper shot but it's getting to the point now where we can't stay away from each other and the thought of each other with other people annoys us too much can i trust him can a cheater ever change i feel like 22 isn't old enough for a man like him to want to settle down permanently and i'm dating to marry i'm 20 for reference love you been a listener since the first step i love you thank you so so nice okay this is tricky i don't know what this guy's on i don't know you he's got me there to be honest i think one thing that did stand out to me is you haven't had sex for a year

and you know is he having sex with other girls just out of curiosity or has he not had sex for a year because you said we haven't slept together in over a year because he says he wants to prove to me that the time he spends with me is for me but does that it doesn't necessarily go to say that he's not having sex with other girls especially if you say that like he's got a bit of a reputation he slept with around 100 girls like can a guy like that at 22 just go bang and not have sex for a year i'm not sure okay so also he is 22 now and did this when he was 17 to 20 ish now and did this when he was 17 to 20 ish so and he's giving me the talk that he's changed I want to point out that he was cheating for longer than he's not been cheating so he was

cheating from 17 to 20 that's three years he's 22 now so it's only two years of no cheating he's been with you a year and a half so well on and off so i'm only going to assume he has been single for those two years so he couldn't actually possibly have cheated anyway in that last two years so really he hasn't proved anything yet you will be the the test of time because you will be the next girlfriend and if he doesn't cheat on you yeah he has a valid case then that he has changed and he doesn't cheat anymore but at the moment he doesn't have a leg to stand on because he cheated from 17 to 20 on both of his previous girlfriends and he hasn't had a girlfriend since and it was only two years ago and he was seeing you a year and a half of that you know and he's not had sex with you which makes me for some reason like my brain just

tells me like he's fucking other girls like that's just my brain but find that out for sure um that out for sure um do you know what you say like he has all these green flags and like your parents love him he's smart he's amazing like he's really chatty and he's funny so so i would just say like i don't know i want you to sort of be very careful but then at the same time i don't know how how can you be careful how can you carefully you know not get cheated on we we do have evidence from the weekly debate that you know once a cheat always a cheat is not a thing we have a girl that sent in her experience saying you know she cheated on people before but she would never cheat on her boyfriend now so i don't believe once she always cheat I never have

but do I believe that you've cheated on your last two girlfriends I'm gonna be the next girlfriend and be different no only because anytime I've ever believed anything like that not about cheating but just in terms of like oh yeah all the girls I've been with before say the same thing about me but it'll be different with you like it never is do you know what I mean so unless you've been on a long journey of growth he's also 22 which is very young it's very young so I to be honest to put to put it brutally as your best friend who's given you tough love i don't think he he is trustworthy personally um again like you say like settling down at 22 is unusual but at the same time like maybe he's had his years of fucking around, and chatting to other girls,

and cheating, and, you know, he's had plenty of sex, so, so maybe he's bored of it now, maybe he's like, you know what, I do just want a fucking good girlfriend, and give him my all, maybe he is there, and for your sake, I really, really hope he is, but, I don't know, I don't get a good feeling at 22, and for you to be the next girlfriend since the last who he cheated on I don't know I'm worried for you but absolutely there is a massive massive chance that he has changed so I think go with your gut and you know love is always a risk I always say this love is always a risk whether you've got history of cheating or not doesn't mean that just because they've never cheated before doesn't mean they won't cheat on you like realistically someone's history doesn't actually mean anything

you could be with someone who was with someone 10 years totally faithful never cheated and then they cheat on you you know if someone If someone's background, realistically, kind of irrelevant. Because whatever goes down in your relationship is going to happen. So, you know, if you really, really, really like this guy and you're serious about him, I'm here for it. And I do believe that people change. I'm only saying, there's just a feeling. I don't know what it is. I just have this feeling. But I don't know what it is I just have this

feeling but I don't know him obviously never met him so yeah I really hope that he has changed um but like I said love is always a risk and you just have to decide if the person that you are seeing is worth the risk because it either ends well or it doesn't and that's the case no matter who they are no matter how many times they've cheated no matter how many people they've had sex with no matter what their reputation you're either going to get hurt or you're not really it's literally it's this shit so yeah i you know i do believe people can change and i really hope he has for you babes because I think you're amazing. All right.

I love you guys so much. Thank you so much for listening to this. Please stay for the outro. Let's wrap up the episode. Okay, you guys. So after the book series, I continued to read it. So I finished all the films, right? And I enjoyed enjoyed like I said to you guys I really enjoyed them very toxic but films are definitely less toxic um but I picked up the second book again because like I said I only started it and

then I put it back down I just could not pick it back up I picked it back up and I've now finished that do you know what it was I was just you know when you get to the bottom of the page and you're like, I'm not even listening, not even listening to the voice in my head, I'm not listening. And it kept happening and kept happening. And then as I got about halfway through the book, I was a lot more into it. And I think now I know where the story's going and how it ends. I don't have this impatience so when the book feels like it's getting a bit slow or you know it's getting a bit repetitive or like oh fucking hell they're having another argument or or shocks are getting back together again like when it gets a bit like

that i don't mind as much now because i know the story what i will say to anyone that's read the book and watch the films they leave out the whole storyline with zed which is crazy in the film i had no idea this whole story storyline with zed happens until i read it i was like oh the fuck did you come from so if you have only seen the films please read the books there is a lot more that happens like a lot more and in a very different order as well also i forgot what i was gonna say then i was gonna say i feel like they 100 should have made that made it a series you know like each book should have been series one series two series three because then they could have included the whole zed storyline like every

single thing that happened they could have fit it in a series it would have been sick i would love to see it as a series it'd be amazing but yeah it's not a series it's a film so too too bad really all right guys well i hope you'll have an amazing week whatever is that you're getting up to if you're at the gym if you're falling asleep right now putting on my relaxing voice to be fair if you are putting this on to fall asleep hopefully you are already asleep at this point and if so can you hear me in your dreams right now it's kind of crazy do you guys set a timer when you put a podcast on to fall asleep because i do and it's the worst when it turns off and you're still awake and you think fuck i really thought i'd be asleep by now i I'm not anyway are you cleaning are you driving I feel like a lot of people listen to

a podcast when they drive I feel like they definitely make a drive go quicker if you have listened to this maybe you're driving to work if so that's a long journey maybe you maybe you started it on your drive home yesterday and you're finishing it on your drive to today or maybe you started this morning and you're finishing it on your drive home now how was work today guys how was it everything all right in the office and that yeah that's good i love you all right guys well i hope you'll have an amazing week whatever it is that you're getting up to send in any dilemmas any weekly debates any confessions clear on the line.com and i can't shout again sorry guys i feel like i always record my podcast late at night i just i find it so relaxing doing it late at night and i enjoy the long late night chats you know it's proper sleepover vibes all right guys i hope

you have an amazing week and i'll speak to to you on Friday for a brand new episode. Alright, I love you. Bye.