Leah on the Line - 103: Is break up sex damaging & he THREATENED to cheat on me?!

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hey guys welcome back welcome back welcome back take a seat take a seat hey everybody how are you happy tuesday everyone how you feeling guys i don't know if you can hear it i've got a cold and listen I don't understand the amount of episodes I've done where I'm like oh I'm not well I've got a cold I'm bunged up I can't stop sneezing can't breathe through my nose I just constantly can't breathe I just constantly have a cold and like my eyes are burning you know that when you've got a cold and your eyes are burning you can't stop sneezing but to be fair I was in London yesterday so it was probably that to be fair every time I come home my god, every time I come home from London,

I end up really ill, but oh my god, guys, let me tell you about this trip, oh, that was really loud in my ears, I'm so sorry, so, first stop on the trip was to the Monday Loft, which is a content studio in London where I bulk filmed and took some pics of content for the gram for TikTok for the reels you know so um if you could go to my Instagram and show some love please that would be really helpful but see we did that that was really fun I really enjoyed that I feel really productive when I do that and then guys we went to see MJ the musical we first went for dinner at Amelia's pasta there is a vlog going on my tiktok if you wanted to see

it um I think it would well no it will definitely be uploaded by the time this is out because I'm a week ahead so yeah go and check that out guys I love it so much if you would show some love on the socials so yeah I went to Amelia's Pasta which is incredible if you live in or near London or if you'll visit London soon please go to Amelia's Pasta right I think there's three they're mainly in east I'm pretty sure but they make their pasta fresh on site are you all right they make it fresh babes all their ingredients like all their fresh ingredients are sourced from like Italy and they have like a board of showing you which part of Italy like each ingredients from like their burrata is from Puglia like they have like it's just like real authentic Italian pasta

and they do not serve chicken pasta and it says on the board like no we will not make chicken pasta and now I thought about it I thought to be fair there isn't like an authentic Italian dish that has pasta because carbonara is not that's like pancetta or there is actually like a traditional meat that they use in Italy that isn't pancetta and I can't I can never remember what it's called but it's not actually pancetta is it um and then there's like your beef ragu and like when I was thinking about it I was like yeah they don't really do a chicken pasta like not a traditional dish anyway so I was like oh we probably fucking made that up didn't we anyway it was incredible um the straws in your cocktail is pasta like just one long tube of pasta it's genius you can eat your straw I felt like you know in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory right Willy Wonka like he drinks out of the cup, and then bites the cup, I was like, sipping my cocktail, then I was like, on the straw, it was

really fun, so I had that, it was incredible, pistachio cheesecake for dessert, absolutely stunning, and then we went to MJ the Musical, guys, it is, hands down, like, by a long way, to be honest, the best thing I've ever seen in my life beats any concert I've been to any West End show I've ever seen before like it is 10 10 I cannot fault it actually I can spoiler alert he doesn't do the lean which I feel like is kind of iconic but I'm sure there's obviously a reason like they wouldn't have forgotten to do it like there was obviously it was a decision so whatever like I trust them they made the right decision whatever but oh my god miles frost who plays mj at the moment so fucking talented the kids in that show so talented the band oh my god if you like michael

jackson music you will be in your element i've never experienced such an amazing atmosphere in a west end audience like everyone was so happy we was just vibing like as soon as a song would start it was like like it wasn't like normally when i go to a western show like you're obviously very respectful so you don't really make any sound until the song's finished and then you clap you know if you know like i'm in waitress when she sings she used to be mine when that finishes the applause goes on forever and ever because it's a fucking show stop at that song that was like this in most of the songs in the show like the audience we just did not stop and

he was stood there bless him huffing and puffing doing that panting thing that they do at the end of the song and just like frozen dead in the eyes like at the end of a song, and we was just going crazy for ages, I was getting my, my wolf whistle out, not the wolf whistle, that's like, no, you know the whistle, like, where you put your fingers in your mouth, that I was whistling, mate, I was like, I'm like, it was just incredible, like, I don't know, it was just amazing, everyone was dancing, obviously, respectfully, like, people wasn't down the fucking aisles dancing, like, it was like, amazing everyone was dancing obviously respectfully like people wasn't down the fucking aisles dancing like it was like he was grooving in your seat he was like just loving alive at the end like it was just amazing so amazing um and you guys know I love waitress I've seen that six or seven

times and it's hard because I always try and rank my favorite musicals in order. And it was number one, Waitress, number two, Mean Girls. What would I consider number three? I loved Billie Elliot. I think that was absolutely incredible. So I probably would have put that at number three. But MJ's taken the spot at number one. I'm so sorry. Like I've seen Waitress six, seven times.

I'm obsessed with that show. But they're very different. Like I feel so differently about them. Like Waitress for me, I love the characters. I love the music. I love the story. I love the set transitions. I love the role of all the ensemble, like how they are. They're such a huge part of the show from beginning to end. Like I just love Waitress in my heart and soul. I love Mean Girls because I love the songs, to be honest. waitress in my heart and soul I love Mean Girls because I love the songs to be honest um I love Damien he makes he makes the musical for me um but MJ was just like another level like it was so different so if you said to me like what would you go and see 10 times it would be

waitress but if you were gonna say to me what was the biggest showstopper it was MJ it was just like are you fucking for real like oh my god and Jamie is the biggest MJ fan he even has a tattoo of him and he was like this is just insane like this is just incredible and yeah we had the best time like it was just amazing I don't think I'll ever get over that show I've guys I've got this thing right where I get obsessed with things whether it be food like I could try something and be like oh that is bloody lovely that is so good I will eat it every day for a week like these bullduck ramen noodles I was fucking living off that shit it's so scary and dangerous how bad they are for you it's full of like additives and preservatives but yeah i was just addicted to them um a couple of years ago it was baked oats i was having it every single day like it's not normal and i'm the same with tv shows or books like after the after series oh by the way i've ordered a new book let me have a look

in a minute and i'll tell you guys what it's called you guys have to let me know if you've read it but anyway the after series I'm obsessed with it then I'm watching the films I'm obsessed I'm like googling all the characters I'm watching the interviews like I'm reading about the history of each actor what drama school they fucking went to like I'm so weird like I'll get obsessed with it so now I've seen MJ and it was amazing I'm obsessed like I've just been watching all clips I can fucking find on YouTube I need you guys to stop what you're doing pause this episode actually no because you might forget to come back just when you're in the mood to have a good cry to be honest watch a clip or listen to the recording from mj the musical of i'll be there it is michael and his mum singing that song together and then like halfway through the song young michael gets replaced with older michael

and it's just i was sobbing guys i was actually sobbing i wore my glasses because then i could see better why do i need to explain why i wore glasses like why else so I can hear better and I had to keep taking my glasses off because my eyes was just like they were steaming up from the tears and had to keep wiping them during that whole song I was sobbing it's beautiful I was literally just watching it just now I'd had a proper meltdown literally 10 minutes ago I'll scrawl my eyes out to that song okay I just had to pause and continue now because i had a whole crew of motorbikes outside then which was really nice and loud anyway so yeah like i get obsessed and now i'm obsessed and i'm looking into all each actor again what drama school they they went to they were incredible we did actually go to the stage door because i just really wanted to tell

everybody like you were amazing well done but we was waiting for quite a while and then oh my god the youngest kid who's genuinely he looks about seven he's so so adorable and so talented I was like what I was watching it thinking my nephew could never sorry Louis but I was watching it like oh my god you do not miss a step you do not miss a beat he is so talented and he came out and i wanted to go to him and be like you were amazing you are so gorgeous so talented but then i was like look there's a kid i feel really weird doing it so i just like stared at him for a bit and gave him like a really creepy smile and then yeah the this woman went over and was like talking to other people saying like oh he's he's my student or something like that I was like oh wow she must be so proud like oh it was just amazing and yeah just such good vibes

such an amazing experience so if you guys want to go and see it I highly recommend it is such an amazing show like you will not not enjoy it wait yeah that makes sense okay guys that is all I have to update you on really in the last week thank you so much for all the love thank you for the messages it honestly just means the world to me I love chatting with you guys in dm I love seeing your messages your comments I'm so grateful I feel so lucky it feels so good to be back I will stop saying that now because it's like three weeks in I can probably get over it now but yeah I'm just I'm just so happy I love you guys so much I just it's so good to be back you know all right today it's going to be back to

our usual Tuesdays obviously last week I wanted to do an episode dedicated to endo and I'm so happy to hear that so many of you found that useful so many of you could relate um so yeah I'm so happy to hear that so many of you found that useful. So many of you could relate. So yeah, I'm really happy that we did that. And now we've got a weekly debate and dilemmas episode. This is the first weekly debate since the rebrand. So that's exciting. I'm really excited for it. So thank you guys for being here. I love you. Let's get straight into it. Welcome to Leah on the Line. Join me every Tuesday as I dial your number for the ultimate unfiltered bestie catch up. Whatever it is, we will laugh together and guide each other along the way. Head to Leah on the Line dot com and follow Leah on the Line on Instagram to get

involved. Love you. Okay, everyone. I am so intrigued to see what you guys are going to have to say about this weekly debate. From first glance, to be honest, looking at it, I think I have an unpopular opinion. Let's get into it. Okay, my weekly debate and question for you this week is, does breakup sex help you let go or is it just damaging? All right, what do you guys think the majority are gonna say so from looking at this i'm gonna say 90 of responses are saying it's damaging let's have a little look damaging it's more painful emotionally okay never done this but i feel like it wouldn't be healthy

especially for the person that's been dumped oh my god so true like imagine someone breaking up with you and being like fancy a shag you'll be like yes does that mean you want to get back together with me part of you do you know what i mean if you really wanted to be with them um damaging it's reinforcing a connection that was just broken get with someone else yeah you know what you're not wrong it's definitely damaging you should always listen to your head because the heart fools you um neither for me it was just a thing at the time okay interesting interesting damaging because i only did it to try and get him to stay yeah this is the thing i totally get that you've got to stick

to the stay with them until you hate them rule it have it works every time do you know what facts it's a fact yeah it's a fact you save someone until you hate them I see it all the time on TikTok that that's what gets people through like breakups and breakdowns of relationships it's like you don't walk away until you're like, I've already left you mentally. Now I'm just checking out physically, you know. And then you wouldn't want to have that breakup sex anyway, because you're like, I hate you. But again, as some of you are saying, if you've been broken up with, that's a different story. Somebody says it's majorly damaging.

Trust me. Well, it depends on the situation. If the the breakup is mutual then it can actually be good otherwise no love you love you oh it reels you back in and makes it a hundred times harder to let go i get the reeling you back in situation if you finally find the strength to leave someone and then they can convince you like let's just like no strings attached you know like one last time one last hurrah and then you're like fine and then all of a sudden they're looking into your eyes telling you that they love you and it's like oh my god maybe things could change um damaging i lived with my ex for a year we had sex so many times and it made it so much harder nothing compares to makeup sex but I'd never do breakup sex it messes with your head um a bit of both breakup sex wasn't

good with my ex it was too sad I couldn't relax into it no because this is the thing like your mentality during it's just so fucked it's like oh my god like I feel like how can you not just constantly be thinking about the fact that this is definitely the last time because I find that when you just break up with someone it almost feels like you know when it when it sort of was a breakdown of a relationship and it happens slowly and then all of a sudden you have this conversation or you know someone's cheated on you and then all of a sudden you have this conversation of like the relationship's over and you you get them thoughts of like i didn't know our last kiss would be our last kiss and i didn't know our last cuddle would be our last cuddle and

i'd wish i'd known and stuff and like okay so this time you do know like you're having sex and you do know this is the last time like how can you all all get them? Like, how is it like, yeah, like it feels so good. Like see never, like, oh, crazy. It helps because you keep going back until you're disgusted in him. You know what? This going back to that stay with them until you hate them theory. Do you know, do you know my perspective is it i think it comes down to control i think sometimes we do it because then we gain a bit of control back over the situation and especially if they've left us you sort of know that you're like your sexual powers are still kind of there if you need them. You know what I mean? Like,

you know, you know them, you know their body, you know how to have a good time together, you know, you've been together a while, whatever. And if they've left you, it does almost feel like a, I can, you know, my whole world's falling apart, like you've broken up with me, you know, it's all out of my control I can get a bit of the control of the situation by having sex you know it's like I feel wanted for a second and it's like you know when you're in a relationship that's like emotionally damaging and they're not very nice to you and stuff and we've all been there then you look back and you think you would be so horrible to me all day and I'd get in bed with you and have fucking sex with you and then you look back and you think I did that because then I felt fucking wanted and

I got a bit of your attention right so I feel like it can come down to that sometimes not all the time sometimes it is just about that like one feeling wanted after somebody's just basically said that they don't want to be with you anymore it's like well maybe if I can have sex with you you actually do low-key want me a little bit you know I don't know it's worth considering um girl I don't know but I need the answers because he asked me to go around to clear the air. Not clear the air. Fucking hell. Normally it's like, oh, like grabbing your last bits or like giving them their stuff back. Or maybe you had something booked that you're still going to do. Like whatever these like complicated breakup things are where you end up seeing each other again, but come around and clear the air. Like we're not together anymore. There's no air that needs to be cleared. You know what I mean? You just want to have sex with me. Um, so many of you are just

saying no, lol, like damaging, lol, damaging, damaging, damaging, like loads of you are just like straight up, absolutely fucking positively not. Um, it's a short term dopamine hit. Then afterwards you feel confused again. Yeah. Facts. It it's always helped me but i've always thought i'm weird for that no i get it i do get it don't go there one person thinks it will save the relationship and the other does it out of pity it definitely doesn't help and it just gets you back in the feels it's a bad idea i think it's confusing emotionally worth it though that's hilarious damaging but then you get to the point of not wanting to go back okay yeah this is the thing like sometimes it's that string you're attached on that piece of string and then one day the string

just snaps and it's like no I didn't want to and my listen my personal opinion is do what you fucking want I I believe that in some cases it is damaging I believe in some cases it does help and I believe in some cases it makes no difference that is my honest opinion um I think it's unusual not to is it not like when you've ended it with someone how this may be a good weekly debate but how often do relationships end and that's just it like you just go bang you never communicate again you never see each other again you never have sex again like you don't have them doubts you don't have that like oh do I want to be with them like how often does that happen because I feel like most breakups are a little bit complicated and

sometimes going back and having sex or going back and just meeting up and having like conversations even just having a snog like I feel like it's just part of breakups and it's really normal um so I don't know if it's damaging I kind of just consider it like part of breakups sometimes like like I'm saying like I don't think they are straightforward a lot of the time I think they do involve complications and sometimes sex is one of them things because there often is some sort of attachment or lack of control that you want to gain back or it can stem from like I said feeling rejected or feeling unwanted um not wanting them to go with somebody else you know so yeah I feel like it fucking happens all the time and I don't think it's that deep I don't think it changes the outcome

of the breakup that's my personal opinion like if somebody said to me is it damaging I probably would have just said no because I don't know I would say it's confusing and can complicate it but I don't think it can be that damaging unless you have been broken up with all you want is to be together again like to the point where you're like I just want to be with him I just want to be with him and then they have sex with you then it's damaging then that's not fair and that's fucking cruel if it's a case of like you both know it's over um and you it's a mutual situation and you're both confused and you know you love each other but the relationship's not there anymore whatever like do you know what i mean it fucking happens babes do you know what i mean don't feel bad about it so yeah that's my personal opinion all right guys well very fun i love these debates

send in any weekly debate that you want to discuss that you want to hear people's opinions on you want to hear my opinion on you want to give your opinion on whatever it is send it send it to me over dm at leah on the line or at leah levain whichever one um and yeah that was so fun guys i've missed having debates i've really missed it and let's do some dilemmas now all right you guys i genuinely feel like these dilemmas are some of the best ones i've had in a while i'm really looking forward to doing this so this one says hi Leah I need your advice on this as I don't know if I'm thinking too much into it me and my boyfriend have been together coming up to a year however a couple of months into our relationship my best friend

discovered that he had tried to message her on Instagram before starting to see me yeah ouch babe how did you discover that? Do you know what I mean? Why look in? Look at me, babe. Blaming the girl. I hate myself for that. I get we weren't together at the time, but I can't help but feel like a second choice. There is always other girls' names popping up on his Snapchat and he just clears the notifications and never opens them when he's around me. I love him so much and I couldn't ever see him cheating or doing that to me but it just makes me panic as if it wasn't anything bad. Surely he would open them around me. I love you lots. I've missed the podcast so much. Oh I love you so much. I've missed you so much. Okay

babes you've been together coming up a year. You've been together too long for these, for this Snapchat shit. You guys know how I feel about Snapchat. Fuck off. It's the fucking devil. Do you know what else is the devil? This hidden chat shit on WhatsApp. Are you all right? No, there's literally no need. I cannot think of a situation where that's necessary I just hate it anyway um yeah I don't understand the snapchat situation girls popping up and you're not opening them next to me I get it maybe if it's a case of like girls are just sending like things to everyone and he doesn't want to open them in front of you because he doesn't want to make you feel awkward or it maybe it just is awkward opening in front of you but also why the fuck are girls snapchatting you I'm

sorry I'm not possessive I'm really not but I find it so unnecessary I'm fucking cringy maybe it's because listen I'm 27 soon guys I'm literally creeping up to 30. So the thought of my boyfriend getting Snapchats of girls makes me ill. But I don't know, I just feel like it's pathetic. Like I just hate Snapchat. Like I just think, oh, I don't know. It's just the whole platform. There's nothing nice about it. It's such a sneaky platform that I'm not a fan of, as you guys know. And to be honest, I just, not a fan of as you guys know and to be honest I just I can't understand why he wouldn't and I'm curious if you've asked him like why not open that like I can see that Lily has just sent you a snapchat like open it like is there a reason like open it what can't I see open it that's that would be me well she got to say open it do you know what i mean what is it is

it something you are hiding from me surely she's not sending you anything i can't see you know if if the fact that you are off the market and in a relationship is public knowledge surely there's nothing in that message that i can't see so open the fucking message that would be me but the best friend situation now I get it and let me tell you a story I was in a relationship with someone and when I was seeing him one of my closest friends said to me oh we matched on tinder once and I was like oh like to fair, we were just seeing each other. So at that point, I had no like feelings for this guy. I just had been on a date with him. It was actually whilst I was waiting for him on the date. And yeah, that's what she said to me.

She was like, oh, like we matched on Tinder once. I was like, gorgeous like gorgeous like and then we ended up boyfriend and girlfriend and our relationship i was like you fancy my friend do you know what i mean and it gets in your head because you're like i know nothing's going on there but like you you literally do fancier and why wouldn't you just fucking gorgeous do you know what i mean and that's fine i'm i'm not one of them people that don't believe that you can appreciate other people's people are gonna look at in relationships whoa okay traffic outside it is just a case of like you literally fancy my best friend like is there a reason you guys didn't go on a date like was that just that she never met you would you guys have been together

like I don't know it took me like a couple of months of getting my head around it especially hanging out with them together because I was like do you guys want to fuck but yeah you get over it eventually so I don't know I think because you recently found out it's it's sore it's a sore tough oh my god it's a sore topic oh wait no you said a couple of months into our relationship and it's been nearly a year okay so you feel like a second choice you're not a second choice this is what i want to say to you which is very true they nothing happened with them so it doesn't matter because you guys are together and it is literally a case of like you was chatting to boys before him does that make him a second choice no

it just meant that it worked out with with you and your boyfriend and and nobody else and that's not because they he was your second choice or because no one replied to you in the past so he was your only option like it just worked out between you two because you guys are meant to be together at least for now i'm not sure now i'm understanding the snapchat shit i'd like to have a word with him myself but that's what i think you should tell yourself and remind yourself because it's true is that nothing happened with them and that's for a reason and she didn't message him back and that's because she's not into him and look we our friends are beautiful girls you know so yeah of course our friends are gonna think yeah she's gorgeous gorgeous girl but it should go no further than that and I'm sure it hasn't gone any further than that because they've never even spoke before you guys so yeah i think

just remind yourself that everything happens the way it's supposed to happen if they were supposed to be a thing they would have been a thing not you guys um and maybe it was the universe trying to bring him into your life who knows what i will say is this snapchat shit will not fucking do all right i think next time a girl's popping up in front of you be like babe is there a reason you're not opening that because i i don't care like whatever she's saying like you you make it awkward by doing that like you make me feel uncomfortable about it by doing that i'd feel a lot more comfortable if you just opened it do you know what i mean i'm I'm fine with it, I'm fine with it, I'm fine with the fucking Snapchat shit, I'm fine with it, couldn't give a shit that you've got Snapchat, couldn't give a shit, couldn't give a shit,

like your voice goes all high-pitched like Ross, I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, because really, I'm fine, that's you right now, so yeah, that's my advice for you babe um but yeah do not let any of this affect your self-esteem and how you view yourself because you are incredible regardless of what this guy's up to what he was up to before you what he thinks of your friend like you're absolutely 10 out of 10 and incredible and irreplaceable and that's that's just always the truth like it doesn't matter what's going on that is just the truth so yeah love you so much okay guys we're gonna hop back into the dilemmas in two seconds but first we're gonna cut to an ad break i'll see you in a minute go back to school with rogers and get canada's fastest and most reliable internet perfect for

streaming lectures all day or binging tv shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. Okay, we are back. And this next dilemma is genuinely so duty. Wait till you hear this. Okay.

Hey, Leah. Love, love, love you and the pod. i'm so glad you're back because i desperately need your advice i love you so much thank you so much for coming back my friend from work who is married by the way is sleeping with our manager should i tell her husband okay i don't have solid evidence that she's sleeping with him but everything is pointing towards that they are leaving and arriving at work together swapping shifts and days off so that they're only at work when the other one is we even saw her clothes on the back seat of his car i don't want to bring up with her because i know that she'll deny it and end up turning the whole thing against me she's just that type of person so do I just go straight to her husband and potentially ruin a marriage when I don't have solid proof her husband's been working away this week which is when when we've started to notice that things are a bit iffy help what do I do

love you bye love you love you okay this is difficult but straight off the bat i'm saying we do not go to the husband because it's not fair to go to somebody if you don't have solid proof i just don't think it's fair if somebody came to you and said i'm not 100 sure but i think your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you you would be like well what what what are you talking what makes you think now like what what's going on why what she said what has he said what are you seeing like and that's the emotional torment that i don't think her husband deserves i think even if you do find solid proof i'm not sure if it's right to go to their husband you you may not know like she could have an open relationship

with her husband her husband could be on board with this it could be a situation where you know they have agreed that they are happy to have sex with other people we don't know and it almost feels a little bit like it's your friend from work who doesn't sound like the nicest person because you said she's just that type of person. Like she'll turn it all around on me. It almost just feels a bit like let's just, you know, it's none of my fucking business what you do. If you want to fuck up your marriage and break a poor man's heart, you fucking do that. Like I just don't think it's worth the the complications especially because it's in the workplace like it's your manager as well like your manager is he holds some power all right so unfortunately

um you know these these people they cheat and they fucking lie and they are just sneaky little rats. And I just think, stay out of it, protect your own peace. Everything comes out in the end. Like it just does. I truly believe that. I don't know a situation where it hasn't come out in the end. I really don't. it hasn't come out in the end I really don't um and so I just think it's difficult to sit back and watch but don't support it if if you don't you know like you I think you can say like are you super the manager and if she maybe does turn around on you fuck her whatever end the conversation I was only asking I saw your clothes in his back seat you know it was kind of a given but if you don't want to admit it that's fine it's none of my business I was just asking all right and then we move on and we don't talk about it again probably don't even communicate

with her again but maybe she'll turn around and go I am how did you know or whatever and you can say look I saw your clothes in the back seat it's quite obvious a few of us around the office have noticed you know you're always working together you leave together you know you can say it and then if if it goes that way maybe you could then say look I think you your husband deserves to know it's not right and you know that's kind of all you can do um i would just protect yourself in this situation go to work for what you've got what you're there to do um and whatever anyone else is doing whoever's marriage she is fucking up you know like just focus on yourself um and that's that's difficult it is difficult to sit back and watch especially if you morally are feeling just like so conflicted but I I just think everything comes out in the end and and maybe if you get

solid proof maybe something will just come over you and you'll just want to tell him and if you do I wouldn't blame you either but I do just think it might be easier but if you are going to be sensitive you know this is somebody's life this is somebody's marriage um I'm just you you better hope you're right babe because you're in your workplace so yeah all right this next one we're all going to be throwing hands to be honest like it's pissing me off you ready I love you so much to the previous girl by the way and I'm so happy that morally you were just everything I want girls to be and I'm so proud of you and I love you all right sorry this next one hi girl my boyfriend and I

have had a few arguments the last few months over who he follows he had an image of me on his insta profile and recently removed it i thought this was weird as it gave me the impression he wanted to look single absolutely positively yes there is no good reason you are removing a picture of me on your instagram if you're not replacing it with a better one okay no i'm sorry there's no good reason you want to look single and yeah i agree i'm on your side with this one I thought this was weird yeah okay I also looked through his follow him and I saw that he's followed 20 plus half nude girls slash girls who post very sexy content funny that in it you you take me off your your profile and you're following all these sexy girls funny that this makes me feel really insecure and low babe you know exactly what i'm gonna say

no matter how sexy some other girl is you are a fucking catch you're a sexy sexy sexy girl okay don't you ever forget it i question why he did this and he said to be on his profile i'll actually fucking punch him myself to be on his profile i have to earn it are you all right i can hear all of you lot now listening to this going what the fuck literally what the fuck imagine somebody said that to you listen babe if you want to be in my profile you've got to earn it you listen to me babe if you want to have the boyfriend title in my life you've got to fucking earn that darling I think I've earned a spot on your profile when I said yes to being your girlfriend you absolute freak right this feels very controlling and almost narcissistic to me

yeah it's given manipulative I'm not gonna lie it's given nasty um I then went on my profile and removed my image of him as you you should. Because I thought if that's how he wants to play it, two can play that game. Absolutely she did. Good girl. I feel ashamed for feeling insecure, but it's hard not to when these beautiful girls have perfect bodies. Listen, you are perfect and beautiful and gorgeous. No matter who you're looking at, no matter who you're looking at no matter who you stood next to no matter who you're comparing yourself to you are 100 beautiful and perfect in your own unique way i recently went through his phone as i had an awful gut feeling i came across an image of a girl that he sent in the group chat to the lads literally are you 13 like what

um saying five foot two only 21 mrs would be mad eh what are you on about we actually on about this made my heart drop this was so inappropriate and disrespectful yeah i'm so sorry literally put his stuff in a bag and launch it out the window no i'm kidding reading on reading them i then scrolled through further messages about five months ago and we've been together eight months of him saying to the boys how sexy his estate agent is and how he only checked out her ass not the property get out of here get out you sleazebag slimy slimy rat i took myself by surprise and it just came out um don't get me wrong boys will be boys and i know boys group chats are brutal but the thing is at a certain age right i don't get me wrong boys will be boys and I know boys group chats are brutal but the thing is

at a certain age right I don't know how old you guys are but if he's saying like oh she's only 21 like I'm assuming he's a lot older than 21 grow up like I the boys group chats don't look like that when you get to a certain age like they they just don't. Boys tend to get older and tend to just have a bit more respect and care less about these like girl pics in the group chat and stuff. Like just, at least it should. We've been arguing for weeks over the messages

and he claims it was my own fault for finding the messages. And if I didn't look, I wouldn't have found it. I'm actually, send me your boyfriend's number now because i'm going to text him a long paragraph how much i hate him are you actually okay listen it's your own fucking fault if you didn't go from my phone you wouldn't have found it are you actually okay sorry let me make this make sense and so i'm gonna go out and have sex with somebody else right um i'm gonna keep the condom in my bag for some reason i've thrown the condom in my bag or at least the condom wrapper you're going through my bag because you're suspicious right you're going she's being a bit dodgy

recently i'm gonna go through her bag you find the condom wrapper and my response is well maybe if you weren't going through my shit you wouldn't have found it so it's your own fault really in it yeah makes no fucking sense does it babe makes no sense what are you talking about it's my fault because i found it are you actually okay just to add i found images of four different girls in recently deleted that he didn't give me an explanation for do you know what this guy's just giving like i don't give a fuck like he's not even trying he's not even going oh babe it's not what it looks like i promise like you're everything to me he's actually going i don't know how they got there are you actually all right sorry oh my god you're

taking me for an absolute prick but i know he said before that guys wank over girls instagram images so i can only assume that that's what it's for okay this guy is giving like young do you know what i mean this really hurt me so in spite i followed some guys on instagram in revenge he's had a go at me since of course he has and called me many names under the sun literally go away he's given me a warning wow first of all relax with the warnings okay um he's given me a warning i need to unfollow this guy's a teenager i'm so sorry or he will be on the pool with his mates over the weekend listen this is my formal warning to you sweetheart you've got 24 hours to get your shit and get the fuck out of my life and you can go on the pool this weekend

because you're fucking single mate i don't have a good feeling of following people and i just feel like this is toxic am I being dramatic or is what happened a sackable offense it's made me feel unloved and not sexy I know I shouldn't rely on a relationship for confidence but it's done nothing but knock it I'm questioning my future with him I'm ready to settle down and I don't know if I'll ever see a forever with him am I going crazy love you bye okay babe this is a classic situation where they take away like your sense of reality and what's normal let me shake you and wobble you a second right i i hate when people go leave them just leave them like piss off like obviously if it's that easy i would i get that i

get it but i promise you now you will look back at this relationship and you'll be like oh my god that absolute twat thought he could treat me like that like am I okay allowing that behavior that's how you're going to look back at this which is so fine we've all been there all right what I want to say to you is this you said it yourself this relationship has done nothing but knock your confidence your boyfriend and your girlfriend your relationship your partner they should make you feel like the sexiest baddest naughtiest most gorgeous most intelligent funniest person to exist your partner should make you feel like that and nothing less and if they don't like and you're gonna get pictures of other girls and then blame it on me and then

threaten me you're gonna threaten me that you're gonna go out on the pool please be my guest because i do not want to be your girlfriend it's not a fun role to play it's impossible to be happy you treat me like shit like i just think believe me now you will be so much happier without this person he has taken away your happiness taken away your self-esteem taken away your your everything like this guy is just taking all your spark away and you look back and be like oh my god like i'm so happy i'm not in that relationship anymore what is that like about this guy read back the message that you sent me listen to the message i just maybe me saying it out loud will help like maybe

me reading your dilemma out loud will help but either way i want you to to realize that this is not acceptable like no one should have the power to make you feel like that you are amazing you will look back and hate him you will look back and hate him and be like you absolute knob and listen he has no respect for you and the longer you put up with behavior like this the less respect he's going to have for you and this behavior only will get worse because you're showing him treat me how you want say to me whatever you want talk to as many girls as you want follow as many girls as you want hide whatever you want from me gaslight me as much as you like and i'll still be there the the treatment will just get worse

and you your self-esteem will just get lower and lower until it's really hard to build back up so just leave while you're ahead while you're ahead believe me you deserve so much better you deserve good love easy love happy love funny like kind silly love that's the love that you deserve this is not that and that's what you deserve and it's out there there is a guy out there that will give you all the things you like about this guy and more times a million take away all the shit all the fucking shit trust me i love you so much and i know it's hard but i truly believe you're strong enough that you know i think you know that you deserve better you know don't don't allow someone to treat you like that I love you

okay let's do this one how do I bring back the sex life in our relationship hey bestie omg I'm so fucking happy to have you back I'm glad you're doing well I'm obsessed with the podcast and I love you so much I love you so so much me and my boyfriend have been together for six years now i'm 20 he's 21 oh wow we've been together since like really young that's actually kind of beautiful i love that we are both very madly in love with each other and i honestly couldn't have asked for a better person that's actually really beautiful as you can imagine our sex life isn't what it used to be we have sex about once every three weeks sometimes less or sometimes more i know things like that tend to happen after a long relationship however i would like to have it more or even spice it up a

little i have tried talking to my boyfriend about it however it sometimes ends in a little argument he'll say stuff like you never put it on me or you don't initiate it but he doesn't either i guess my question is how do i spice up our love life how do i initiate it more p.s keep it in mind that we both live at his family home in which someone is always home we both book nights away but we can't be doing that just to have sex lol love you love you okay so we get this a lot on the pod you know how to spark up the sex life spice it up I mean how to bring that that sexy raunchy spark back listen we get it a lot I think it just happens sometimes so I would suggest maybe I know like you said you live in your family home which can make it a bit more

a little bit more difficult however i would say like just i think it starts outside of the bed that's what i think about sexual chemistry and the foreplay for me begins in the morning when you when you bring me a coffee i'm like whoa who fucking the night who fucking do you know what I mean like it starts how you treat each other and how you make each other feel outside of the bed so I would you know maybe just make him feel a little bit extra special sometimes and put some extra sexy underwear sets on and um maybe treat them to a little oily massage every now and then and watch some sexy films like watch 50 shades of gray together and like be like oh maybe we should do that like i think just don't put pressure on it um and yeah i think

once one of you starts doing these little things like rubbing his shoulders, how was your day, babe? Like giving him a little shoulder rub or, you know, like pinching his bum when he walks past, like all these little playful things. And or like when you drop something on the floor, like bend over and be like, like, oh, like stick your ass out. Like there's playful, silly stuff. I think it starts there you know and you know it's really easy especially when you're so comfortable with someone it's so easy to just like not bother with that because like they're like your best friend um and you just want to relax together and chill out together and they're your comfort and they're your safe space and they're your home and you

just want to like chill and cuddle and you know I just think it starts there so yeah but also maybe send him a couple of texts throughout the day um and just maybe just stick it on him every now and then and maybe he'll start sticking it on you more you know that's my advice I love you babe so enjoy and be safe out there. Okay, that's the end of the dilemmas of this episode. Loved it. These dilemmas were fucking great. If you have any dilemmas, be sure to send them in,

leahontheline.com. Let's wrap up the episode, babes. Okay, everybody, we've reached the end of the episode i love you so much thank you if you made it all the way to the end you are the true loves of my life i'm so grateful for you i hope you guys enjoyed this episode i really enjoyed it today it was so good just to like sit down and do like our normal tuesdays you know what i mean any weekly debate ideas that you have any dilemmas obviously send them in to learontheline.com I'm all ears I'm here for you to guide you through laugh with you whatever it is um and yeah god I'm I'm so ill

like I'm actually getting more and more ill I'm supposed to be going to the gym tonight guys I've fallen in love with the gym more than ever before like I've always been like in and out of the the gym vibes the fitness life like I've always been like in and out of the gym vibes the fitness life like I've always been in and out of it but recently like I'm I've just like I feel like I've been bit by the by the bug and I just love it and like I just feel so invested in it I don't know it feels different it feels really different like I'm just obsessed with it and just love it so much more than I ever have so yeah if you see a big badonkadonk on me that's why okay all right guys I love you so much I hope you all have an amazing week an amazing weekend and I'll speak to you on Tuesday for a brand new episode all right I adore you Yeah, I do

You're higher and higher My phone call night