Leah on the Line - 109: My ex is HARASSING me and my new boyfriend!

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, everyone. Welcome back. It's a Tuesday. It's Aaliyah on the line new update. Thank you so much for clicking on to this episode. Oh, how exciting. Thank you so much for clicking onto this episode. Oh, how exciting. Thank you guys so much for being here with me today. I am feeling tired. I've just had like one of them days where, you know when time just fucking flies and I don't know if you guys get this right, but I've been alone all day, okay, which is fine. And I've been doing like content, laundry,

cleaning, tidying, like change my bedding like filming all day like it's just been intense and I'm like right shit got a podcast and I start to feel crazy I think where I haven't spoken all day and my brain has been like working so hard like just constant just constant thoughts flowing in and out my brain that I'm just like it makes me feel fucked like I can't even explain it it's like I get like like brain drunk it's the weirdest thing but if you guys can relate to that oh my god you've got to let me know it's like I haven't spoken all day but I have no energy to speak it's weird but I always find that whenever I start podcasting, like I can just fucking get straight into the flow because I love it. Do you know what you mean?

Do you know what you mean, my love? So how are you guys? What's going on? What do I have to update you on? Honestly, not all that much, I don't think. Let me let me scan my brain a second. Oh, you guys are loving the book talk.'s do a little book update did I tell you guys I finished Verity I didn't think so I finished Verity um I fucking hated it you guys I hated that book I gave it a three out of ten I really hated it it sounds so negative it was so boring and so predictable and the thing is is you guys recommended it to me in the sense that not you guys like all of you but some of you told me that there was romance in it like it's still it's still a rom book it's still a romance book but it's also a thriller and I thought interesting

romance thriller fine but like after reading it it's not really it's not really a romance thriller like it is just a thriller really really silly um and I think that's just what it was lacking for me I was so bored the whole way through and I it's so predictable one thing I will say though is I think it would make a great film I would like to watch it but reading it I was like nah like I like to read romance um this isn't what I like to read but it is what I like to watch um like I imagine it would be so creepy I feel like they could make a sick film out of Verity and I've heard that they are I've heard that it has been confirmed I haven't googled how legit that is but I'm sure it's legit so that's exciting I then finished

heart bones you some of you said that it would be a good one to follow verity with because I wanted something more light-hearted something a little more easygoing you know after the heaviness of verity and yeah so a few of you said heartbones. But the issue I have is heartbones. Like so many said, you know, it's summery, which it is. It's definitely summery. It's set on like a beach. So beautiful. But it's heavy.

Like she's been brought up terribly. Like she had the most heartbreaking upbringing. And she's fallen in love with this guy I'm not giving any spoilers by the way and yeah the plot twist I did predict I'm not gonna lie I predicted the plot twist um but did I enjoy that book I gave it a 6 out of 10 not great is it it's not too good and somebody commented on my TikTok because if you would like to check it out I am doing like in-depth book reviews on my TikTok but somebody commented saying like I fear you may have already read all the best ones and now they're all going to be disappointing so I was like shit I kind of read them in a bad order but so many people say that Reminders of Him is their favorite

so that's what I'm moving on to next I'm so excited and then I have confess which I haven't heard good things about to be honest but it's whatever and then I'm moving on to hopeless and then I'll move on to too late and then I'm done with Colleen Hoover I think and then I think I'm gonna do the twisted series so many of you guys think I'm gonna love that especially because I love a bit of book spice you know that book spice and apparently that just really pulls through with the spice so I'm looking forward to that let me know if you've read it and what you think but apart from the book talk um I did something so weird today so every now and then like I'll sing around the house right

like I'm sure we all do but when I was a kid not a kid when I was a teenager and a kid but still as a teenager I would pretend that I'm performing on the stage right just trying to manifest and I haven't done that for a long time obviously because I'm literally 27 in August and today I was filming some content for a brand in this gorgeous yellow dress and I felt like oh my god this is so Sabrina Carpenter coded like Sabrina Carpenter would eat this dress up like she would look so flamed in this dress and I was like let me listen to a bit of please please please and and spin around in this dress and before I knew it I was performing to Coachella in my fucking kitchen and listen I'm too old for

this I am too old to be pretending I'm performing to Coachella. But I loved every second of it. And I had the best time. It's not normal, is it? There's something missing in my brain. Nearly 30 and I'm still performing to nobody in my kitchen. Like, no, when I say I'm performing, I'm Coachella. Like, I am so fucking embarrassed. Like, if somebody ever saw me doing that

I shouldn't even admit that I do it but I'm sure I'm sure there's people that do I actually can't even deal with myself I used to pretend that was on Ellen when I was a teenager when I was like 13 14 maybe even a little bit older I used to talk to nobody and pretend that I was being interviewed on Ellen and you know the walk out and they like wave to the audience like thank you hi and then you get asked about your love interest that you just it's not you're not ready to talk about and she's like you know she Ellen would probably ask you about it and then you have to be like what are you talking about we're we literally just friends. He is so sweet. You know, we are, he is so special.

We have a beautiful friendship. And then Ellen would probably be like, just a friendship. And then you're like, you guys, what is she? You know, Susie, how cringy is that? How cringe? But then I saw a TikTok saying, like, me sat in my bedroom pretending I'm being interviewed on Ellen, and I have never felt more seen in my life, I was like, okay, so I'm not, like, a total fucking freak, like, there are other freaks

like me, so weird, honestly, anyway, enough exposing myself, hope you guys are all feeling really good today. Happy Tuesday. Monday's out the way, thank fuck. Although I always say this, I like a Monday. I look forward to Mondays. Like to be honest, on a Sunday, I've had enough. I'm ready for the offices to open. I'm ready for the emails to be flowing again. I'm ready to get things moving. Yeah. Anyway, oh, let's do this episode, guys you thank you for being here welcome to leah on the line join me every tuesday as i dial your number for the ultimate unfiltered bestie catch-up whatever it is we will laugh together and guide each other along the way head to leahontheline.com

and follow leah on the line on instagram to get involved love you okay everybody so this weekly debate was actually sent in by one of you guys it isn't linked to a dilemma today but it was a request from one of you to have this conversation and i thought it's so interesting because i don't think we've ever discussed it before not this specifically anyway so the question is it's not so much a debate I mean there is a debate in there but you know it's more I think it's really interesting to ask this question so it says do you genuinely like your day job or do you think it's normal not to so I think this is such a great question because you know what? It really got me thinking how we work like typically,

like let's do traditional typical office hours nine to five. Like obviously I'm so aware not everybody works them hours, right? But let's just use that as an example. You work Monday to Friday, nine to five, okay? Two out of seven days are for your own freedom. And that's eight out of like 30-ish days a month, right? That's insane. Like if you think about it, that's insane. To rest or to have fun, to go out, to see people, to get shit done, you know, whether that's laundry,

tidy in your house, I don't know, whatever it is that, you know, you don't have time to do because you're at work, that's what you've got to do, and then you've got to find time to relax, like, if you actually think about it, it's insane, right, and if you actually deep it, the Sunday blues is a thing, like, it's not something that people go what's that sunday blues on it i don't i've never heard of that in fact we've all heard of it says that it's a popular common thing right sunday blues like that means no one wants to go back to work on monday oh sunday today back to work tomorrow and then when it's Friday happy Friday happy Friday like people even start their emails with hey hello happy Friday happy

Friday you know have a great weekend happy Friday so realistically as an I don't know if this is like I don't know I'm talking as a uk nation we talk about weekends like that's the good time and monday to friday is like oh back to work tomorrow fucking hell you know like that's the universal conversation that is had which suggests that nobody wants to be in their job nobody nobody's enjoying it to the point where we're like oh fucking hell that's what's more happy friday got two days off you know two days like i don't know i just thought when you think about it isn't that insane anyway okay um okay let's have a look i never knew what i wanted to do so now i'm stuck 11 years same job since i left school. That's the thing. Like we're pushed out into this world to like find what you want to do.

So fucking young. And it's like, I don't know. I don't know what I'm fucking gonna do. I don't have a clue. I'm a teacher and two years in and I'm leaving in August to pursue wedding and event hairstyling. I love that. I love that. You're two years into

being a teacher. You probably had to work really hard to get to get to that position to be an employed teacher. And two years and you go, do you know what? This ain't for me. I'm going to go pursue my dream, wedding and event hairstyling. I fucking love that for you. loved my opi opi oh fucking hell yeah I loved my occupation hated my workplace had to quit recently but mentally so much healthier see that's crazy isn't it my day job is draining sitting at a desk I can get my work done in three hours but have to sit there for seven fucking hell I don't know if I've been really complaining about that but then at the same time that is so boring um yes i love my job although i recognize i'm very lucky and most people don't okay so this person has the opinion

most people don't actually like their jobs i don't know when i think about people around me i can't think of anyone i know that loves their job i love my job i can't wait to go back to work on monday i love my job i love being there i can't think of anyone around me that loves their job I love my job I can't wait to go back to work on Monday I love my job I love being there I can't think of anyone around me that is like I can't wait to get in that office on Monday and get shit done you know so um I feel like sometimes we are just in our jobs to make money when we aren't actually happy I absolutely love my job I'm truly obsessed with an amazing boss and totally flexible hours I spend too many hours working to not enjoy it if you are unhappy make that change wow there you go yes I only started this role three months ago and first

time ever I actually enjoy my job I love that okay not particularly I think it's normal not to love it but it's but you shouldn't dread it okay great point like I totally get you know I don't love it like I'm not like oh like we were saying can't wait to get in the office on Monday and just fucking tear shit up in there can't wait to fill out all that admin on Monday like I'm sure it's so normal to not love it but I don't I don't think I've always said this I don't believe that anyone should be in a job where they can't sleep on a Sunday night because they're dreading it that much and they can't enjoy their Sunday because they know they've got to go to work tomorrow I don't think you should feel like that I hate it which is gutting as I've worked so hard to get this degree that's the thing we study so hard for a job we are just gonna guess that we like I'm just guessing I'm gonna

like that like I'm gonna study for six years in medicine just assuming that I'll like the job you know it's crazy um I love my job but now it's taking me to get to 27 before I found it. Oh, sorry. I love my job now, but it's taking me to get to 27 before I found it. I've worked tons of different jobs and really hated some. I work in a primary school and love my job, but I do think I'm lucky to enjoy it that much. I work from home and as much as I enjoy it, I worry long term it's impacting me badly mentally and socially same no because same I love so much about my job so much about it but I do have this huge fear that spending so much time alone is gonna have a negative impact I tried to say impact and effect on me at the same time long term like I my social skills are gonna get worse because I've gone from working in

hospitality where you have to have good people skills to working alone at home do you know what I mean and that can't be good for me but um either way like again there's so much I love but then I think that's so normal I think it's unusual that there's jobs where you can't you can't um criticize it you know like you know can't knock it love it can't knock it I think that's unusual unless you've like do you know what I was gonna say like unless you've like do you know what I was going to say like unless you've like built your own business and you know it's everything you've dreamed of I'm sure there are still parts of it that you hate whether that's when you've it comes to filing your tax returns or whether it comes to the fucking boring admin part or

you know whatever it is I'm sure no matter how passionate you are about your work I'm sure there's bits that everyone finds draining and and just they dread and it's like oh I gotta do that tomorrow fuck's sake but yeah I don't believe anybody should be working a job where it makes them depressed and it makes them feel sad I just don't I just think leave like nothing's worth that you have one life that whatever the company is it shouldn't be more important than your life it shouldn't so yeah I love that debate I'm so happy for all of you that absolutely love your job I think that's just the way we would all love to feel maybe this will be a sign for some people like hold on a minute why don't I just fucking do something else and you know what there is no shame in that like I would just read

there's a girl who's who's studied to be a teacher she's been a teacher for two years and she's gone actually fuck that I don't like that so you know and I'm buzzing for her so yeah oh love that you guys thank you so much for sending your responses let's get some dilemmas okay everybody I'm gonna kick it off with this dilemma because it's absolutely fucking sick it's just insane when I read this I thought there's no way okay listen hey girl I love the pod it brightens my day oh I love I love you. You brighten my day. So, I have a dilemma, or just a crazy story that I'd like your opinions on. For context, I'm 21. I was in a relationship from 16 to 19. I ended that relationship because I just felt nothing for that boy anymore. I was feeling it for a long time and I knew that I wasn't in love. My ex, we'll call him Steve was

heartbroken of course I felt bad but I couldn't lie to myself he got pretty obsessive sending gifts to my house and texting me non-stop I heard from a few people that he had called me a psycho etc and he was sending me so many gifts it also felt manipulative because he would message me saying things like no one else would ever love you like this after you broke their heart i'm so sorry first of all yes they fucking will look at me yes they will darling i can guarantee that second of all what you think that's gonna make me love you because you still love me after i've broken your heart sorry i don't get that i then got into a relationship five months after the breakup which I've been in

for a year now. I'm absolutely in love with my boyfriend. He treats me so well and we practically live together now. We're so content and happy in our relationship. Last November I got a message from an Instagram account saying that my boyfriend is on Tinder. This account was new, no profile picture or followers and claiming to be a girl. This account harassed me, claiming over and over again that my boyfriend was cheating and on Tinder. It turns out there was an account made of my boyfriend, but it was not him. I know this for sure because me and my boyfriend set up a fake Tinder profile as a girl and kept swiping until we found my so called boyfriend's account that's actually genius the tinder account was messaging us back my boyfriend was sitting right beside me and this account was pretending to be him caught red-handed

that's such a good idea okay if anybody ever comes to you and says oh your boyfriend or girlfriend's on tinder and you can go to your partner and say apparently there's a fake tinder page of you maybe we should try and find them and message them if they're like no no no no no no no no don't why not let's message them if they message back and you're next to me i know it's not you don't i genius you cracked the code there um okay i sent these messages to the instagram account and it was instantly deleted along with the tinder account yeah literally caught red-handed darling like we can do now we never received confirmation of who these accounts were fast forward to last week i get a message from an

instagram account this account had a name a profile picture of a boy playing sport and a college course in the bio it only had three followers and it was only made this month the message read i hope you know your boyfriend was in his car with another girl today you're doing too much you're doing too much it's it's giving desperate like this is sad now um to no surprise my boyfriend was cuddled up with me that evening that the account was speaking about. I blocked the account and tried to forget about it as I didn't need this childish behavior. Yeah, and your boyfriend must just be thinking like, Jesus Christ, can I live? Can I live? Like, everyone's trying to paint me as a cheater. A few days later, I get a message on TikTok.

It was my ex, Steve. this was a newly made account as i already had to block three of his accounts on tiktok because he wouldn't stop messaging me he's also blocked on every other platform okay steve steve has some serious problem here like i'm sorry this is his fourth tiktok account just to message you he's made a fake tinder he's made a fake instagram to get in between like i'm not like even if my boyfriend was cheating on me i'm not getting back with you like if my boyfriend cheated on me i'm not getting back together with you um the message was him admitting that the instagram account was him and that he swears

he saw my boyfriend with a girl so he made a fake account to tell me because I wouldn't believe it if if it came from him this does not explain why the Instagram account followed me and my boyfriend two weeks prior to the message oh piss off literally just it's not adding up babe it was a fully thought out planned out account and had clearly and he had clearly been plotting this exactly this led me to believe that it was without a doubt the whole tinder account 100 my ex steve i told him that this is harassment i was gonna say like can we go to the police at this point like fucking hell um and he must never contact me again i have blocked the account on tiktok i guess i would just like your opinion it's kind of crazy and it's getting a bit out of hand i've told my boyfriend that the account was my ex and he is

furious yeah seriously imagine your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend doing that to you doing that to him like making all these fake fake accounts saying like Leah was in a car with a guy tonight I'm like what the hell what are you doing absolute freak so what we're gonna do I do believe like after a certain amount like this is a hundred percent harassment not to be dramatic but like do we go to the police at that point like I feel like you know let's maybe warn him a little bit. Like, look, this is becoming extremely uncomfortable for me. You are literally harassing me. This is your fourth TikTok account. You've made a fake Tinder, a fake Instagram. You've also lied about my boyfriend on multiple occasions. It's getting, no, it's not getting out of hand this is out of hand now i'm not getting back

together with you no matter what happens between me and my boyfriend now i'm not getting back together with you and even if i broke up with my boyfriend you still have no chance so i just need you to leave me alone because i'm gonna have to escalate this otherwise i'm just being dead serious it sounds dramatic but i do feel like this guy needs a warning of how serious this actually is to you it's fucked like it's gonna get to a point where it's genuinely gonna come between you two because imagine like your new boyfriend he could turn around not new you've been together a year but you know he could turn around and be like this is too much for me babe like I love you but your ex is insane I don't need this in my life I'm just gonna back up and and you know whatever like I don't need this and could you imagine could you imagine so we do

need to get rid of this ex it's it's not fucking it's not on like that's weird behavior leave me alone leave me alone um yeah I'm sending that And then I'm done. I'm washing my hands with him. And if there's more, I'm probably I'm probably going to go to the police and see what I can do. Because, you know, I've blocked you. I've done everything I can do on my end and you're still relentless with this so there's nothing else I can do besides take it somewhere else so yeah that's that's what I'm doing personally like if you're literally gonna try and ruin my life like this isn't even just a case of like oh he's trying to contact you saying that I miss you please please please he's trying to ruin your life no you're literally trying to ruin my relationship piss off so yeah that's what

i'm dealing with that keep me updated with that one i'm definitely intrigued like are you going to get bored it's been a year and five months since we broke up like are you not bored yet like are you not bored have you not met anyone else jesus and to be honest it kind of makes me want to go to the police because it's concerning for the next girl that he falls in love with then maybe love just makes you a little bit crazy maybe he's not insane maybe maybe it's just love i don't know no he's insane all right love you guys next dilemma okay hello gorgeous hello so for a bit of background we are three best friends and have been friends for about two years maybe more honestly these people are amazing so so beautiful and the nicest people ever recently i've been having some really bad

doubts about our friendships and have been overthinking so much. I've also been struggling so much of my personality and who I am as a person. I've been feeling so insecure and anxious and just overall feeling shit recently. I've just been thinking about our friendship and if they actually like me. I do overthink a lot but it still feels really scary. I have spoken to my mum but she reassures me that even though that's okay I just want to know what I can do to help myself not feel this way how can I go about making myself feel better and not feel insecure and stop myself from overthinking love you bye congrats on your endo diagnosis congrats on your endometriosis thank you um so I I honestly think so many people can relate i have a friend like this and she always says to me like literally you hate me like everyone hates me like everyone

you all hate me and she's just had this thing in her brain kind of like my brain would tell me about like illnesses and you know health her brain would tell her like everyone hates you like none of your friends actually like you and I guess I I experienced that too in a sense because I always say this like I said this in the other episode about my personality and stuff like I always just feel like I don't fit in no one likes me blah blah and I genuinely just distance myself and have no friends because of it you have beautiful friendships which I'm so pleased for you about what what I want to say to you is it is really actually quite common I think for people to overthink and just feel like oh nobody likes me nobody likes me I think what i would encourage is that you focus as much as you can on how people actually

treat you and what's genuinely in front of you you know like my friends aren't making time for me that that shows me that they love me they're making time for me they're checking in on me they're commenting on my instagram saying you know gorgeous even though they're the ones that took it you know and all this all this behavior shows me these people love me and they care about me and that's what I choose to listen to um I used to feel really what's the word like um inadequate I don't know what the word is just in day-to-day life so I would struggle with friendships and relationships with people and just in general connecting with people but mainly as well when I did perform in because I felt like that being on stage and singing I felt the same but about my talent so what I did was I wrote down every nice thing anyone ever said to me because they meant so much,

but it's easy to forget it and focus on all the negative things and all the criticism. So I would write down all the compliments people gave me or all the nice things people said to me. I wrote it in my notes so that whenever I had moments of like, I'm not good enough, no one wants me in this show I would just go and read that and it would be like oh the guy who was in the West End for In the Heights told me that I was one of the best Vanessa's he'd ever seen and like I'd read that and it would make me feel the same way it felt when he first said it because I'm reading it again you know so what I would do is make a list in your notes of all the

lovely things people say about you, all the beautiful ways that they show you that you're special to them. And anytime you have these moments of doubts, just go to that little notes page and remind yourself like, people love me, people really say nice, kind things about me, and they prioritize me. you know like oh you know Ellie cancelled her plans last Saturday because I was having a bad day and she she made sure she was there for me instead of hanging out with her boyfriend and to me that that's like the kindest thing a friend can do so I'm gonna write that in my notes you know and the next time you think oh I don't know if Ellie really likes me she cancelled her plans of her boyfriend to make sure that you

was okay a couple of weeks ago you know because I get it no matter how incredible a friend is to you it's just sometimes it's just us and it comes out of nowhere and it doesn't feel fair to put it on them because they're doing an amazing job as a friend it's me like it's not you it's me so you know don't try not to go to them too much about it like Like, obviously, I think it's okay if you can say like, I'm such an overthinker. Like, I always feel like, you know, like, whatever. But it can be exhausting. Like, if you're going to somebody repetitively, do you like me? Do you like me?

Do you like me? Are we okay? Are we okay? Are we okay? Like, it's like, oh my God, babe, we're fine. Like, babe, we're fine. Come on, babe. So, you know know try not to put

it on to people it doesn't sound like you have but try not to put it on to people too much because that can that can just be like oh my fucking god after a while you know just write down all the amazing things in your notes and just have that as your reassurance rather than going to other people for insurance maybe try that and see if it helps you it helped me personally i love you babe okay let's do this one hey girly i just wanted to you it helped me personally i love you babe okay let's do this one hey girly i just wanted to start this email by saying i love your podcast so so much i look forward to every single tuesday with you you have such a beautiful soul and your advice is always so helpful thank you so much i'd love to be your friend oh that is so lovely and so sweet

thank you so much i know how much you love the Newcastle accent so I firstly would like to say that I am from Newcastle are you joking me I'm gonna have to do this fucking whole dilemma in a Newcastle accent now it's it's gotta happen I don't know what else to do no I won't it will just drive everyone insane okay so my dilemma is it's not the same anymore one of my longest friends of 18 plus years moved away for uni nearly two years ago. She comes home every few months, which is great. However, every time she comes home, I feel like we're growing apart more and more.

She's such a lovely girl and I feel so guilty writing this email as she hasn't done anything wrong. We haven't had any arguments. There hasn't been anything in particular other than I feel like our conversations are very one-sided and it feels to me like I'm the one asking her questions all the time about how her life is and she doesn't reciprocate I appreciate that my life isn't as exciting as hers as I still live in our

hometown however I'm buying a house with my boyfriend and she failed to ask how it's going that's pretty crazy like you're buying a house with your boyfriend and she's not even like how's the house like at the very least and you're supposed to be best friends the thing is I know she wouldn't purposely not ask she just forgets but that upsets me just as much as it's thoughtless my dad also went through cancer treatment at the end of last year and luckily he's doing really well now oh my, I'm so happy for you and your family. But every time I see her, she never asks how he is. That's strange.

Like, I'm sorry, I get it, the house. Like, if you're not in that stage of your life, you might not really deep that it's a massive deal for me, whatever. But you don't have to be in the same position as me to know that my dad going through cancer treatment is probably one of the hardest things me and my family have ever gone through. Do you know what I mean? Like what? Why are you? Why are you not asking? I find that fucking weird. Why are you not asking me how he is or how I am dealing with that as your friend? At the very

least asking how my dad is. Why are you not asking me um it just feels really weird to me i keep thinking what's the point in this friendship when she doesn't give anything back i feel awful saying that as it's not like she's nasty or rude she just doesn't make much conversation i don't want her out of my life i'm just not massively bothered about seeing her anymore as it's just not the same as it used to be another thing that upsets me is whenever we make plans she always suggests a night out and i'm just not into them anymore but she still asks every time i try and suggest other things and she never really takes the hint that i don't want to go on them anymore and sometimes i feel like she just uses me as someone to go out with as she doesn't really have any friends back home other than me i really don't know what to do i understand it's a natural

thing to grow out of friendships but i'd really appreciate some more advice thank you Leah I love you I love you okay I genuinely think that this just happens all the time you know people outgrow each other like you said you know it's normal but to be honest like if my friend wasn't supporting me in what you're going through and what you and your family have been through I'm angry like if if I've been through that with my family and my best friend hasn't checked in on me or my family I'm pissed I'm angry at you for that like I don't know how you're not angry and I don't want to make you angry because it's good that you're not it's not an emotion that's nice or pleasant to feel but yeah like you're saying like she's not nasty she's not done anything wrong I'm pissed I'm angry I'm hurt I'm hurt like you haven't checked in on me when I've been through that I'm hurt

I'm really fucking hurt by you um that doesn't mean I'm gonna be horrible that doesn't mean anything I'm just saying I'm hurt right I I wouldn't ignore that like I think it's this is one of them situations you know when people say like when people show you who they are believe them this is one of them situations to me like you're clearly you know not to be a bitch but you're clearly in your selfish era she's clearly in her self-centered era and i think it's so common and so normal for people especially friendships that have you know been friends for a long long time it's so normal for people to drift and go totally separate and then come back together again later in life i do think that's so normal if you have this like love that it's just like

you're bonded through your childhood i do think it's normal to just go you grow and you're different and like sometimes when you're at an age as well especially you don't know how to be around people that are different to you you don't know how to be yourself or you don't know what to spend your time doing around people that are so different to you and it feels awkward because we used to be similar and now we're not. And it's not a secret that things are now awkward. And I don't know what we do. I don't want to go on nights out. You don't go on nights out. I've got a mortgage with my boyfriend. You don't really get that. You're not happy for me. I'm going through something emotional with my family. You don't really get that. You're not

there for me. And, you know, she might have feelings towards you. She might be she might be thinking like oh well this was happening in my life she didn't give a shit and you have no idea you're oblivious you have no idea what she's feeling and that could be why that she's not showing up for you we have no clue but i do think it's really common that like friendships suffer this withdrawal and then sometimes we come back together um and to me I would just think you know what focus on all the other great people and things you have in your life um and don't keep filling her cup if she isn't filling yours um always be a nice person always treat people with kindness and I don't think you need to have an argument at all it doesn't even sound like a little bit like that's what you would even do you don't sound like that kind of person at all and I love that um yeah I'm I wouldn't even necessarily like oh like withdraw and pull back I would just maybe just like match

her energy like and not in a right okay you want to fucking play like that not even in that way just in a like okay I can do that like if we're just gonna catch up lightly every now and then I can do that and I'm happy with that and let's just see how the friendship changes and it's fine like friendships change and whatever your new friendship looks like it's fine it may not be anywhere near as as beautiful as it as it once was. But it's fine. You know, I love you. I care about you. You know, I'm learning what you are for in my life. Every friend, I feel like we add different things. There's friends where you just have a fucking party with. There's friends that you go to when it's three o'clock in the morning and you feel like your whole life's falling apart

and they'll open the door and make you a cup of tea there's friends like that there's friends where you need fashion advice and we're gonna go shopping together there's friends where we go for coffee like once every six months like we have friendships in our life and we have different relationships in these friendships and they're all different and they're all they're all just fine the way they are and they they don't all need to look the same and they don't all need to stay the same either so yeah I think you sound like such a lovely nice person I wouldn't feel guilty about it we've all we've all been there um and I'm so I'm so sorry what you and your family have been through with your dad but I'm so happy for you that he is on the up and and you know you said that he's doing really well now so I'm so relieved

and happy for you um but yeah and congratulations on the house of your boyfriend you are smashing it and just yeah enjoy it live in it and just soak it all up and don't don't let these sorts of situations take away from like these experiences in your life you know love you so much okay you guys let's wrap her up today shall we okay everybody thank you so much if you made it to the end of this episode shout out all of you that have and shout out everyone that stayed to the outro because I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I do just click straight off an episode as soon as I hear that it's about to end. I don't know why I do that. It makes no sense. It's like there'll be five minutes left of a TV program and you just

not bothering to watch the end. Like what? This could be the best bit. You guys don't even know. This could be the best bit of the whole episode. i could leave you on a serious cliffhanger here and you don't even know it's coming should i try and leave you on a cliffhanger i don't know if i've got anything exciting i don't really think i have a cliffhanger what's going on oh my god the euros we haven't spoke about the euros um well do i care about football on a day-to-day basis absolutely positively not do i pretend like my life depends on england matches during the euros uh-huh yeah yeah i do i just love it i live for these to be honest you're the Euros, some of the best times of my life, some of the best times of my life, especially me and my auntie went to one with,

oh, I was just, what the heck is out there? Me and my auntie went to one in London, in Lewisham, and it was like an outdoor place with the huge projector. And we had the best night well it was actually kind of it was the daytime it was so it was sunny it was a beautiful day in London I had my England top on and you better believe that every time England scored a goal I was launching them fucking pints mate I was launching these pints I didn't drink pints i just bought them so i could throw them out i was just loving yeah i love and live i turned into a pure animal and as soon as the game's over i'm like okay like no one talks to me about like football ever again like i don't even know what the upside rule is like literally it was so funny

and it was the it was the final against Italy right and this random guy like during the penalties this random guy picked me up and was throwing me around I'd never seen him in my life I said I don't know if our relationship is at this level yet I also had a boyfriend like I don't know if you should be launching me around darling but honestly we had the best time like it was so fun and I need I need to experience that but I don't have plans to go and watch any of the Euros games anywhere to be honest like box park seems like my idea of hell I'm not gonna lie I don't think I'd be into that but i might i might

make some last minute plans i'm in london next week to be fair but the days i'm there is the rest days i'm sorry why am i talking about football on lear on the line fucking football you'll never catch me doing that again i'm so sorry unless unless it gets really interesting for england um and spain obviously because i'm espanol soy espanol um hablo espanol uh vamos españa vamos vamos vamos no soy espanol soy ingles no me gusta um jamie thinks he's fucking 100 italian like oh we get it you're a little bit italian and he like supports italy over england seriously like yeah we get it mate you don't speak italian what you've been to italy once

oh he gets fuming when i wind up about that i like your english as well as Italian you live in England like you just support both he's like no I don't support England I support Italy just support both like who what are you trying to prove and then England will win I'll fucking love it as long as we beat Italy because to be fair they beat us last time didn't they won't be having that this time this is personal between me and Jamie at this point although I'm sporting Spain in my eyes guys all right guys I love you so much I hope you'll have an amazing week whatever's that you're getting up to thank you for being in my company today I've absolutely loved every second of it and I'll speak to you on Tuesday for a brand new episode all right I love you Bye.