Leah on the Line - 111: not being where you wanted to be in life & outgrowing friendships

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hey hey hey hey hey hey hey what's up you guys hey everybody that was so aggressive so not me hey hey hey hi everyone how are you oh guess what? I'm fucking ill again. I'm always ill. My immune system is just letting me down when it comes to these little flus and viruses and colds and stuff. I just keep catching them. Honestly, if you even like, if you come within 70 miles of me with a cold, I'll get it. As soon as I'm around somebody and they're like, oh, I've got such bad bloody cold or like I'm really coming down something I think thanks a lot Rachel I've called it already thanks a lot I will get it there's no way I won't get it but um yeah so that's fun um I'm trying to

power through it but it's the burning eyeballs for me and the the inflamed sinuses it's so annoying but yeah how are you guys I hope you all had an amazing week I went to a spa this weekend it was bloody beautiful sorry guys one second I just had to burp them oh wait this is so weird because every time I podcast I do like a hiccup and then I yawn how strange I'm sure there's something there's some science behind that so yeah I went to a spa it was beautiful it where it was in Somerset so nice and local to me um windmill retreat it was called um elements boutique spa absolutely gorgeous highly recommend it to anybody who's looking for a nice Somerset getaway um the spa's just stunning it's just

stunning like i had a facial and a massage guys i've never had a facial or a massage before it did make me want to get like a proper facial you know where they like they do crazy shit to you like suck the blood out of your face i don't even know if that's what they do i don't think it is to be honest i think i think they actually inject your blood back into your face i'm not sure but i really it's like the vampire facial i just want to do like some crazy facials and look stunning it's so nice getting your getting a facial I was like oh I enjoyed that more than the back massage funnily enough and Jamie enjoyed the back massage more I was like oh yeah did you now I'm just kidding but um yeah it was so nice and we stayed there and We like cooked both nights.

It was really, really cozy and cute. What about England, hey? Oh no, I'm doing it again. Last week I was like, why the fuck are we talking about football on Lear and the Line? But bloody hell, it was so good. We watched the football there. It was so intense. My heart was literally pounding out my chest.

It was smashing against my rib cage. I was like, when they was taking the penalties i was like jesus this is tense i can't wrap my head around guys did you fucking hear that i'm actually i'm actually so scared right now my speaker just turned on i'm really really scared it's never done that before oh my god i'm so scared but anyway uh you can't i'm scared i was about to be like you can't scare me but like you literally can like i'm terrified anyway oh my god i'm so scared so yeah what i'm saying is i can't wrap my head around how no honestly everything's freaking me out how people go up for a penalty how do you do

that that next level nerves and and fear and anxiety and pressure is probably something that the average human will never experience and has never experienced like that's insane isn't it oh i'm so proud of saka though i love him so much ever since his moment in the euros last euros i was i was literally like come on baby you can do this Bakayo Saka I love him I just love I was like you can do this baby you got this and um he did he did it was it was Saka's game wasn't it I'm not talking about football anymore honestly talking about football on Lear on the line I'm giving myself the ick like I'm not like other girls like who do I actually think I am honestly you're not cool and you're not quirky and you're not different because you watched the euros like go over it okay Leah shut up I'm literally talking

to myself what am I doing okay so what else do I have to catch you up on um my cbt therapy it was my second session and I don't feel like I have that much to report she gave me a little bit of homework although she doesn't like calling it homework because she thinks it scares people but I was like no not me girl I'm a I'm a kiss ass if you tell me it's homework and I will do it I will do double because I want to impress people and I have a complex where I'm insecure and seek validation from other people okay so yeah I have like homework but I have to basically make a diary what is going on around me right now I have to make a diary of my brain basically um and it's it's in a chart of like

four different things I think it's like what was the scenario how did I physically respond how did I mentally respond what was the outcome like blah blah blah things like that um and I need to make a diary and we're going to feed back um she's away next week which actually works out really well because I'm away that that Friday so that works out really well um so I won't have an update next week but I will the following week which is is beautiful fantastic um I am feeling emotionally quite challenged so this time last week I had like a convo with my mum about like how I'm feeling and just how I feel so like things just feel really hard and things just feel really um like I feel really like I failed and like I I'm not not to be sad or anything but like I yeah I just have like such a heavy feeling of like

I don't know I'm not where I thought I would be when I'm about to hit 27 and that's like quite a difficult thing to admit and it's a panicky feeling of like how do I do this what what do I need to change and get rid of and what's missing and you know and it's like a confronting uh place to be in my life and I find it so hard um and haven't really spoken about it with anyone like I've just sort of felt like well you know it's all your own fucking fault like um and I spoke to my mum about it and we had a good chat and she's helped me a lot change my perspective however I do feel like more pressure but then I don't necessarily think the pressure is a bad thing because the pressure is on you know it is and it's scary and I think a lot of us who are in this position who don't have our own houses and whatnot oh amazon guys here brb take a pause on the deep chat let me go and pretend everything's

all right in my life for two seconds okay we're back so yeah a lot of people don't have their own house and you know a lot of people aren't in a position that they they wanted to be or thought they would be and some people are some people are because they worked fucking hard some people have their own house because they they worked and they worked and they worked and they worked three jobs and they saved and they saved and they and they sacrificed going on holidays and they they put everything into getting this deposit together or getting this corporate job of of whatever and then they did it and they're there i'm really out of breath because i just ran upstairs and my respiratory is that how you say it systems kind of lacking right now anyway

um and then you know let's not let's not deny that there are some people out there that are where they are because it was given to them that's not a secret either and do you know what take it like i would do you know what I mean I do not think that anyone who was given money or given a house or whatever helped in any way I don't think that anyone should be criticizing them because take it I would be taking that and running all right um so I think I was stuck in such a like it's all out of my control mindset and that was the hardest bit like I want to be where where I want to be and it's out of my control and I just can't get there and like and then I I had this chat and I was like there are things I can do and I can work

harder and I can change my mindset and I can prioritize my mental health and I can there is there are things that are in my control yeah granted I can't get 20 grand together tomorrow and put a deposit down on a house I just can't but there are things I can do that I'm not doing now today and tomorrow so yeah I think I just needed that you know what like stop crying about it Leah stop thinking like oh woe me like there's so much that I'm grateful for and you know I can still acknowledge that even when I'm having my down moments of like oh like I really want this I really want that and you know I'm so jealous of these people and stuff even when I have those I'm still so I've always been good at acknowledging all the things I do have like I feel so so lucky to have a mum who will you know put a roof over my head every time I needed it whether

that's because I've left uni whether it's because I've quit my job whether it's because I've gone for a breakup whatever it is she is there to give me back my childhood bedroom and say, come home, you know, this will always be your home. And I'm always so grateful for that. And I don't even know where I would be without that or what I would be. So although I feel so lucky, like this, I'm so lucky, my health, like the people around me, like, I'm so rich in them ways. I still naturally, there are things that I'm like, Oh, but I just want this and I want that. And then, you know, I think we're always taught like, Oh, you know, be grateful and and you know like I don't know and I think sometimes you're allowed to just say like look I'm really lucky yeah I'm so lucky I've got my health and my family and and to have a home like this I am lucky but that doesn't mean that every now and then I can't be

like fucking hell you know and yeah that has been my mindset and I've had a bit of a change in the way I want to approach things um and and receive things as well so yeah I wanted to share that I think it's nice to be really open and honest I did upload a TikTok in the last week about like feeling like I failed in my life and wishing I could just like do it again and start over and like be 18 again and make better decisions and stuff like that but you can't you know you can't do that and that's the point that's actually the beauty in life is that you can't do it again so yeah I did really really want to talk to you guys about it on the pod because

there were a lot of comments and I received a lot of messages saying that they can relate and understand and yeah I think it's important for somebody else to stand up and say do you know what I'm not where I wanted to be either and if you you're not, it's okay. And it's not too late. Just because we thought we'd be there at 26 or 27 doesn't mean we won't be there at 30. Like it's not too late, you know? And if you're not there at 35, doesn't mean you won't be there at 38, you know? It's not too late. We'll, we're all just trying our best at the end of the day. just trying our best at the end of the day um and I think what I can admit is I wasn't trying my best and I let my mental health get the better of me um and now I just want to really try my best so that's what I'm doing or at least trying to it's not easy you know I do think I've always probably

dealt with a bit of depression I'm not gonna lie but I don't know. I don't know if it's maybe just my personality trait. This is quite a depressing episode. I'm so sorry, you guys. Yeah, I don't know if it's just my personality that I'm, you know, because you guys know I'm hypersensitive. And I don't know if I'm really sensitive or if I've always sort of dealt with a bit of depression because when I think back to when I was a kid when I was a teenager like I've always really struggled with like sadness not not consistently in my life not every fucking day of my life that would just be pure hell but like it's been a prevalent issue in my life I think yeah I've I've often um I think, yeah, I've often found myself feeling sad and been like, oh, you know, things feel really hard. And I think my happiest moment in my life was when I did a show called In The Heights. It was the year of 2018. That's a long time ago. It was my happiest year um I was 21 I just turned 22 that summer

it was my best summer ever I was um I just ended my my first relationship actually um but that felt really right and I was doing my first show since uni I had an amazing role that was like my dream role, surrounded by people that uplifted me and made me feel really good. I had such a good routine. I'd wake up at 7am, head down to the rehearsal studio, sing and dance all day, and then go home, eat dinner and be crashed out of sleep by p.m and that was my happiest moment and I look at that and I think what was different what was so different obviously the massive thing was the show but it wasn't I don't think it's before it's performing because the following summer I did the exact same thing I did the exact same thing I lived with my auntie again I did the same I was in the same

theater production doing a different show um I did Ren uh played another character that I absolutely loved the life out of but I wasn't anywhere near as happy I was single again um so it wasn't that I was in a relationship that was making me sad compared to the last time. I don't, nothing was really different. I was exactly the same in terms of the aspects of my life, you know, didn't have a boyfriend both times, lived with my auntie both times, did a show with almost the same people both times. But one time I was so extremely happy and the second time I wasn't very happy so it's really weird because I look at like my surroundings and I always assume that that's what makes me happy or sad but I don't know what it is and I don't know if it's like a chemical imbalance in my brain but I'll be so happy one day and then the next day I can I can feel so low and I never let it win in terms of

like I'll always get out of bed early I'll always make my bed you know I'll always do these things I'll never rot in bed or hiccups all day I don't ever want it to make me feel like that I never want it to make me you know like unproductive to to that extent sometimes I'll get out of bed and and you know I might not even do anything but I still get out of bed I still made my bed I still made my morning coffee but yeah sometimes like no matter what I'm doing even if my routine's the same I've had like an overriding film of sadness and that's something I really want to conquer and I want to feel happier and I don't know what I need to add or take out of my life but I really aspire to just feel happier and yeah I will definitely be open and honest with you guys

forever as you guys know I always have been um but that is literally what I'm going to focus on from now on I want to prioritize myself my productivity my career my ambitions and my happiness my friendships relationships like these are all the things that are going to be my number one priority finances like I don't think it's something that should be taboo to talk about um I obviously went to uni like I got myself in some debt girl and I want to there's just a lot of things I I've realized like you know what enough's enough you know like let's fucking step into gear and find more happiness in my life because you know I experience a lot of happiness and there's a lot of things in my life that make me happy but it's not enough I'm not happy enough and I still spend too many days feeling sad and overwhelmed so yeah that's my

feeling you guys I just really really wanted to have this conversation because I know every time I speak about this stuff so many of you are like this is literally me and when I see other people talk about this like I've seen there's a YouTuber I'm sure literally all of you know her called Flossie she's spoken about like feeling depressed and feeling low and getting stuck in a rut and getting out of a rut and stuff and every time she speaks about it I think I feel seen and I feel like you know we don't need to because she's got everything I want. You know, that's what I see. I'm like, wow, she has her own place in London. Like, she is killing it. Right. And I'm like, wow, you have the things that I think are going to make me happy. And it suggests that they probably aren't the things that make you happy. You know, it comes

from within. So yeah, it does. It definitely does help when I think people in a similar situation, similar age or whatever, speak about the things that you're feeling. And I'm really sorry if this was too sad and deep for the episode. But I just, I think it's really important to keep it real. I never, ever want to be that bitch that's like, hey, what's up, you guys? Like, I'm so happy. And like, everything's just fucking rainbows because it's really important to keep it real i never ever want to be that bitch that's like hey what's up you guys like i'm so happy and like everything's just fucking rainbows because it's not and it doesn't have to be so all right you guys um enough of the deep chats let's get into the episode

welcome to leah on the line join me every tuesday as i dial your number for the ultimate unfiltered bestie catch-up whatever it is we will laugh together and guide each other along the way. Head to learontheline.com and follow Lear on the Line on Instagram to get involved. Love you. Okay, you guys. So I'm actually going to skip the weekly debate this week because the intro was like 20 minutes and I do want to make sure we have a lot of time for your dilemmas today so we will save that debate for next week but I'm gonna start off with an update so oh that was a bit snotty I'm not surprised to be honest fill up your shit right also I hate when someone's there and they're like oh I feel so ill I hate that that's literally have an update. Hey, girly. I sent in a dilemma a few

weeks ago about my friend at work that was sleeping with our manager behind her husband's back. This is not to be confused, guys, with the previous update we had where her two co-workers were sleeping together. This is a different one. This is where her co-worker co-worker was cheating on her husband with their manager okay um okay sleeping with our manager behind her husband's back and i don't and i didn't know if i should tell the husband because i didn't have solid evidence yeah i can't even remember what advice i gave to be honest well someone else told her husband through a fake Instagram I mean I'm not gonna lie that's kind of cruel like a fake account that's kind of cruel like it's so impersonal and it's so like inconsiderate but then at the same time it's

like look I don't want this to backfire on me, but you do deserve to know. So, you know, I'm not hating that. At least you told them, to be fair. Not you, like whoever it was. Okay. Turns out he already had his suspicions and he was just waiting for something to confirm it. You know, your gut always knows. It really does. He wants to leave her but was just waiting for the right time.

really does he wants to leave her but was just waiting for the right time also our hr found out about the two of them and they have both been fired for inappropriate work relationship yeah fair to be fair come yeah wait why is the other dilemma with the with the cheating couple not being fired for inappropriate work relationship come on imagine that why'd you get fired babe uh no reason and he can't even tell his girlfriend this is i'm talking about the other dilemma now by the way i'm sorry i'm confusing everybody right i'll just stick with this one shall i shut up here um which meant i then got promoted to her position of office supervisor big big slay big slay i love that the universe has universe and all calm has been restored in the

office thank you so much for your advice and for the podcast you keep me sane and i laugh out loud every week love you bye oh i love you well that could not have gone better really realistically everyone got well you know apart from the poor husband whose wife was cheating on him at least he knows the truth now at least he's not being cheated on anymore but yeah you got the fucking you you were the the new manager i love that for you thank you guys for fucking each other all right next one hey leah my dilemma is about a boy that i met to start i broke up with my boyfriend of five and a half years late January 2024. Five and a half years is a long time, you guys. Within the next month, I did a lot of

self-healing and took time to myself to process my emotions. A month later, I felt like I was ready to move on and see what was out there. So I went straight on Tinder. Okay, girl. I matched with this boy straight away. Let's call him Daniel. We I went straight on Tinder. Okay, girl. I matched with this boy straight away. Let's call him Daniel. We had so much in common. Our interests, hobbies, same career, likes and dislikes, when it came to finding the one. He was the complete opposite to my ex. He was big on the little things and that's what I was missing in the last relationship. We really hit it off immediately. So now it's July and we're still talking wait so this has been since february february february march april may june six months girl six months okay we were

exclusive the whole time i met his family and he met mine i even stayed in his after a night out our conversation just flows so naturally and nothing is ever off limits and we have discussed everything being around him is easy he has shown me more in the five months of knowing him than my ex did in the five and a half years damn he's moving away for work in august okay since we have the same profession yeah, you do the same fucking thing. Okay. I had planned on moving to the same city to work just in a year's time. Oh, brilliant. I really believe that we've got something good.

And I'm not being deluded as we have talked and expressed our feelings to each other about this. We plan to keep in touch and I will travel to see him in the October midterm if all's going well. And then I'll see him again at Christmas so we would see each other every eight weeks. Okay you know what every eight weeks is definitely doable. He talks about his future plans of me coming over to see him and staying in contact. I really feel like this could be it. Do you think I'm silly for waiting this out and seeing where it goes? I also just feel that deep down it could work and I just need to be patient. What advice would you offer your friend if she was in this position or if you were in this position? I've been listening since June 2022 and I'm a weekly listener of the pod.

Love you. Bye. Okay. So I actually, you guys know I'm a big believer in a little bit of love. believer in a little bit of love and if distance is there I always say you know distances is just I don't even I'm trying to act like there's a quote I don't even know distance is just a it's just a road to a lifelong future where there's no distance okay so what i'm just saying is i always say that i think long distance relationships can work have i ever been in a successful long distance relationship girl no um was i willing to once upon a time yeah the only reason we never went through with it is because i like the the thing that was creating distance never happened so we didn't have to but yeah i if i was in your

position yeah i'd probably go through with it i'm just like i'm that sort of bitch like i would say like yeah let's just see where it goes because i don't believe there's any point in calling something off and deciding that it won't work like why would we decide this isn't gonna work if I want it to and you want it to and in our gut we feel like it will like the only reason I feel like it won't work is if one of us doesn't want it to work or one of us has our reservations about it is that the right word I'm not sure um and yeah I feel like fuck it absolutely I think go ahead and it's only a year I think a year it sounds long but it's not like in the grand scheme of things a year isn't long in the day-to-day fucking long mate it's absolutely long three and six five days you're right but in the grand scheme of things it's only a year and if you genuinely feel like

hold on like this has been pretty perfect like we have disconnected just it's not like i said disconnected we have just connected is what i said and yeah I think if it's meant to work it's work and it will work and I feel like you know worst case scenario is it doesn't and you tried and you know he's long distance so you don't have to worry about seeing him if it doesn't work out it's going to be fine you just end it and you had a nice time while it lasted and if it does work out you're moving to that city in a year which is beautiful it's amazing so I really do I'm encouraging it and I think it's a beautiful love story keep us all updated with that one love you okay hi babe first I love you you're the best content creator ever thank you you guys never said that to me before I I love you so much. Okay, my dilemma is that I

want to be with my boyfriend all the time. I find it very hard to do things with friends while I could also be with my boyfriend. In the meantime, he's playing football and me and his friends like normal. I really want to learn how to do that too. Sounds so simple, but I'm very clingy, I guess. How does this work in your relationship love you kisses from Holland oh I love you okay you know what I think it's really common I do I think a lot of us um can go through phases or just aren't them type of people them types of people where we get really attached to our relationship. I don't think it's a good thing. I know there are people out there that think,

fuck it, like, we're best friends, like, I spend all my time with my boyfriend, and we're happy. And if you are, that's fine, you know, but for you, you're saying it feels like an issue, and your boyfriend has friends, and your boyfriend has his own separate life and I do think it's really important that you do too and I think I'm going to paint you a picture when things go sour in a relationship which they can every now and then and it's normal it doesn't mean the end of your relationship doesn't mean your relationship's failing or wrong right relationships go through ups and downs as normal as life if you are being mistreated in a relationship and they are your everything they are your life your best friend your therapist your soulmate your partner your whatever when when they're just your everything they play every role in your life

you don't have friends you just have your partner and then they they mistreat you it's so easy to just uh forgive and accept behavior that you don't deserve when you have a life and you have friends and you have independence that comes with more self-worth I think and it comes with more confidence so if you were being mistreated you think are you fucking for real like I don't know I can't explain it I hope that makes sense but also it's so much harder to walk away from somebody I know this seems negative and I'll circle back but it's harder to walk away from somebody I know this seems negative and I'll circle back but it's it's harder to walk away from a relationship that isn't good for you when they're your everything and when you have your own life and your independence and your friends and stuff it's easier to walk away from things that that you know you deserve more than and

obviously your boyfriend's not doing anything wrong I'm just making a valid point here okay these are just two reasons why I think it's really important to have your own life because you you tend to um you know settle for less if if they if they are your everything they can you know I'm not gonna be so negative but yeah it's important it's also important because you know if if that relationship ends you your whole life doesn't end you've still got all these other amazing things that you spend your life doing like my saturday brunch with the girls that's a fortnightly um what's the word tradition or my weekday my my wednesday night coffee round mums that never that I don't miss and dinner with my sister um every payday weekend you know like these little traditions no matter what's going on in

your relationship it's important that you know no matter what's going on in your relationship you have these things to look forward to and that make you you and make you your keep you yourself um so yeah but being less negative I just think it's really um it's really hard especially if you have like an anxious attachment style or you like me are quite introverted and quite um quite a individualist um I don't have many friends at all um but I I wish I did and that's not me being like oh my boyfriend's like my life and stuff like that I wish I wish I had more friendships in my life and it's definitely something I am gonna to start to focus on more. But I have been in relationships where I don't go out and I don't do anything. And I think

they resent you for it. And they don't want you, they don't want to be your everything sometimes, unless they're controlling little freaks and they fucking do. That's exactly what they want. But yeah, a lot of time they don't want to be your everything and and i was in a relationship this is mean as fuck but i was in a relationship where he would say to me like what if you had friends like you wouldn't be so obsessed with me and what i was doing and that's so fucking mean and cruel and nasty and abusive but it's true as well that doesn't mean it was okay for him to say that, but you know, like he stood me up for a date one night. Okay. And my world crumbled. My self-esteem was on the

fucking floor. I was like, oh my God, like he doesn't love me. He's not treating me right. What's wrong with me? I'm ugly. I'm disgusting. But if I'd prioritized my personal life and I had my routine and my friends and my girls and stuff like that, the way that he treated me or stood me up wouldn't have had that impact on me because I would have been like, fuck you. And I would have gone around my friend's house. I would have been like, can you fucking believe this prick? And she would have been bigging me up saying, fuck him fuck him right and I do think it's important because they they do resent you sometimes not all the time mainly just pricks but yeah they do and I think it's just healthy like I don't want to be your everything I don't want to be Jamie's only friend I don't want to be Jamie's only friend. I don't want to be like all you've got because I don't

want that pressure, you know? And I think it's attractive to go out and have your hobbies. Like Jamie plays football and that's his thing. And, and I find that attractive that you go out and you go football training every week and you know, season's not started at the moment, but when season starts, you go out and you've got your football matches just like I'll go to London for events and that's my thing and no matter what's going on in our relationship we have that you know and I'll I'll go to the gym with my sister and I'll go on dog walks with my mom and go to B&M with my mom and like have these traditions that are my things that no one can take from me and i think that's why it's so important that you have your things that no one can take from you

no matter what is going on in your relationship you have your shit you know that is yours and i think it makes you more confident it makes you it gives you way more self-respect it makes you, it gives you way more self-respect, it makes you feel stronger, it makes you feel like you are less fragile, less needy, because there's nothing, nothing worse than feeling like you need someone, I think it's a really dangerous place to, to be emotionally, so I do think it is quite deep, like, I know, like, on on the surface it might just seem like oh bloody hell like I just love spending all my time with him but I do think it can be quite deep and it can have quite a big impact on every aspect of your life your self-esteem you know all of this what you what you allow and I do think it's important so my advice

is make that a priority to start doing it make your routine bigger so every you know payday weekend pick a friend or your sister or your mum or your cousin or whoever it is that you genuinely enjoy their company let's do this every payday weekend might be a shopping day might be just a nice little coffee it might be a little toasty m&s cafe like whatever it is it's your thing that's like you get to look forward to that and don't put him above these things so if he's like oh do you fancy i don't know do you fancy, I don't know, do you fancy going, there's a new film out on Saturday, do you fancy going, make sure that you say, I can't, because that's the days that I meet up with, with Lily, you know, me, that's mine and Lily's day, I can't, make sure that he is not more

important than you, because although it might be like, oh, oh what Lily's more important than him or he's more important than Lily whatever it's about you I can't cancel these plans because it's my plans and they're about me and you are not more important than my plans every now and then you might be you know like if you've booked us a hot tub weekend fair enough I can fucking cancel do you know what I mean but no it's not going to be a regular thing where it's like oh but my boyfriend wants to see me so sorry Lily like no Lily's Lily's going to be at MLS cafe wait for me and I'm going to be there right and I think these things are important if there's a new film coming out maybe your mum would like it so maybe rather than your instinct saying like oh babe there's a new film out like can we go and see it like ask your mum if she wants to go and see it you know like things like that I think are really important so yeah

I love you so much next dilemma when is enough enough is she my real best friend or is it just because of convenience I met my best friend at the beginning of high school and we have been best friends ever since and are now 24 a year or two ago she became friends with a new group of girls which didn't bother me in the slightest as i had my own friends separately back in september she decided she was moving away to australia wow that's crazy so many people do that don't they i love that for you guys i feel like we're a different breed you know i'm such a comfort zone kind of bitch but then that's why I'm probably at where I'm at in my life and you guys are like well traveled and just just lucky all right um I was so happy for her but so gutted to be losing her after so long

two weeks before she left me um and another one of our mutual friends wait okay sorry it's there's a lack of grammar in this and I'm struggling, no offense, love you babe, two weeks before she left, me and another one of our mutual friends expected to catch up with her most days, but out of the two weeks, we saw her one day, every other day she had plans with her other friends and didn't seem to see anything wrong with that after all wait that at all after confronting her about this we've all been friends for a very long time and she just gave us one day to say goodbye since she's been gone she has facetimed me once in 10 months which is so hurtful as i tried to call her multiple times for a catch-up but i just get no reply every time I get my hair

done or I'm going out she makes sly comments of how I look and that the outfit doesn't suit me jealous one time even saying that I look like a rugby player and she never compliments me you literally want to be me like you're so fucking jealous that's that's what it's given she posts on her Instagram and TikTok a lot of how much she misses her other friends, but never me. She blames this on how we have no pictures together. She just returned home for five weeks. I went to see her the minute she landed and it was so nice and normal. The day after she messaged me asking if I was busy, which I replied that I wasn't and we planned to go for lunch. Lovely, she's making the effort with you. I got ready and waited

as she told me she was visiting her other friends. She got back in touch with me nearly four hours later to say that she had now got new plans and was going on a night out instead with her other friends. That is fucking rude. I had no offer to come or even an apology for dropping

me last minute. She didn't say sorry. No, that's so bizarre this really upset me as i was sat ready and waiting for hours and it felt like she just got a better offer and blew me off when voicing this to her she did not apologize at all and left me on read all of these little things keep building up and it makes me think does she actually still want to be friends with me i want to confront her but i don't know if it's even worth it it hurts me so much but it all just really seems that she doesn't care at all what should I do okay I genuinely I just think these situations is a classic example of like

you're filling her cup and she's not filling yours and it's just it just makes sense to just leave it and it doesn't mean that you should be like I'm fucking this friendship off like fuck you like and you don't need to be angry you don't need to be like it doesn't even need to be a statement of like our friendship is over like I think you can just read the room a bit and be like yeah you know what you're clearly not enjoying my company or very um eager to be in it so message received um very shitty of you to treat me the way you have especially not apologize um and you know it's that classic thing of like when someone shows you who they are believe them and I think this is just one of them examples and I say this all the time especially with friendships they can go so up and down

and people can just treat you really shit for a while and then sometimes people just like they grow up and change and then they you'll probably get a message at some point it could be in five years time it could be in five days five weeks five months five decades hopefully not um and she'll probably acknowledge it and say like hey like i really miss our friendship um i don't know what happened blah blah blah uh or she might be like look i'm sorry i was a bit of a shit brand who knows or you may never speak again and this could be the end of your friendship but not to be negative but i do just think it is part of life like how people drift and change and i say this all the time it

happens so often um between girls and it is really sad and i think it's really hard to let go of a friendship and i know that like i dealt with i dealt with a friendship breakup a couple of years ago and it was really hard especially because she was literally my rock and I was so devastated that sorry guys that our friendship wasn't received the same on both ends and I thought oh maybe you know our friendship wasn't as important to you as it was to me. And I looked at myself internally so much. And I was like, Oh, was I not as good of a friend to you as I felt like you were to me? And did I let you down as a friend? And I think, actually, it's just that people really do drift

and change. And it you know, she might have a problem. Who knows, she might have a problem who knows she could have a problem with you but if you've approached it and she hasn't told you the problem or apologized because whether she's got a problem or not stitching you up and not even saying sorry and just going ghost for four hours is just mean and selfish so whether she's annoyed over anything or what is still not acceptable and an apology wouldn't fucking get a miss but you've given her an opportunity to get anything off her chest she's not got it off of off of her chest or told you how she's feeling so what else can you do besides like okay well i see what's going on here you don't give a shit you know and unfortunately that's like and i wouldn't take it personally at all, at all, like, I can see your

friendship coming back on track at some point, it could definitely happen, and you might not even want it to happen, like, who knows, but yeah, I love you, I wouldn't take it personally, I think, I think every single girl listening to this lost touch with the best friend at some point in their life you know um and it's sad and it's just part of growing up being part of being a woman part of life all right i love you so much okay guys i feel like we can end it there let's wrap up the episode stay for the outro please don't be a bitch okay you guys thank you so much for chatting with me today so it was a bit of a deep one um i guess like whenever i'm in my feels i try to just talk really openly and honestly

i say this all the time but if i'm ever like feeling heavy emotions like good or bad like it's not even bad at all like like I don't feel like, oh like things are really hard right now, I'm just feeling very intensely, whenever I'm feeling like that, I always want to share it, because I think it's so important to, you know, open up and stuff, and I hope it encourages any of you guys to open up about how you're feeling to the people around you, and in your circle, or your family um and yeah i love you guys so much i hope you all have an amazing week i am in london next this week for an event which i'm anxious about because i get i get the fear at events i feel so insignificant and

lame but i'm gonna go and i'm gonna make a ton of friends okay I love you guys I hope you all have an amazing week and I'll speak to you next Tuesday for a brand new episode oh my god I've just realized I'm missing a trick every week see you next Tuesday you fucking all right I love you Bye. Canada lets you do just that. Each ETF provides exposure to stocks, bonds, and crypto so you can potentially maximize your return. It's essentially like getting a complete portfolio in one trade. Visit fidelity.ca slash allinone and find the ETF that's right for you. Commissions, fees, and expenses may apply. Read the fund through ETFs' perspectives before investing.

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