Leah on the Line - 116: He cheated on me and now won't post me on social media?!

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the upcoming season of Only Murders in the Building, Artrio's investigation leads them all the way to Los Angeles, where a Hollywood studio is readying a film about the Only Murders podcast. Amidst all the glitz and glamour, there is still an underlying mystery to be solved. It's who tried to kill Charles. Only Murders in the Building stars Steve Martin, Martin

Short, and Selena Gomez. Joining the star-studded ensemble this season are Eugene Levy, Zach Galifianakis, Evil and Goria, Jane Lynch, and Meryl Streep. Season 4 of Only Murders in the Building premieres August 27th only on Disney+. Sign up now. Hey you guys, hey you guys, grab a chair, pull up a chair, everybody get comfy, get comfy, welcome back to a brand new episode of Leer on the Line, happy Tuesday you guys, what is good?

No, because the American accent is so irritating, it's so irritating, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm really working on it, I'm not, I'm not working on it. I haven't made a single effort to stop doing it. It used to be Australian for me, didn't it? I don't really crack out the Aussie accent these days. I feel like that got quite annoying to people, at least to me, like doing this fake accent all the time. It's like annoying, and I'm not gonna lie, right?

When there's some people that I watch on socials and they break out in accents all the time and it annoys me and I'm like I have no right to find that annoying because I am her she is me, you know But anyway, how are you guys? How's your how's your week started? How was your Monday yesterday? I hope you all feel really good today. I'm here with you If you're not oh look straight away straight back in the American accent. Oh my god my anxiety It's speaking pretty high at the moment you guys so obviously you may or may not know I am in therapy At the moment I just had week six of my therapy if you're thinking like I swear this has gone on for longer than six

Weeks my therapist missed well shouldn't miss a session, but she like moved to session and so did I. So technically we've been seeing each other for eight weeks, but we've had six sessions, okay? And there is a certain something that has been riddling me with anxiety for about three years. Something that came up on my body that obviously my little pea brain was like catastrophic catastrophic like death death death and I was like and I've avoided it because you guys know I have such a big fear of the doctors so I've avoided it and just sat with this fear

for like three years. I think I've already explained all of this don't know why I'm repeating myself for like three years. I think I've already explained all of this. Don't know why I'm repeating myself. And yeah, you may remember that she has been challenging me to get this appointment and go to the doctor. And we had a two week break from my sessions because I had to move one. And I physically couldn't show up on week six saying nope I still haven't

done it because I felt like a failure and that's one thing I've realized is I have such a complex with like failing like I feel like such a failure in life if I don't if I like say I'm gonna do something and not do it or something little like if I say I'm gonna go to an event and I pussy out or chicken out I feel like a fucking failure and I'm absolutely ashamed of myself And yeah, I've learned about myself. It's like I hate to quit. I hate to fail and I hate to put my hand up and say I can't do it

So like with uni for example, like when I started university I absolutely hated it from day one But I stuck it out for the whole three years because I won't fucking quit, you will not see me quit. So yeah, and I've just, I've noticed that about myself that yeah, I won't walk away or quit things even if I fucking hate them, like you know, relationships. Like I can't do that, not in my current relationship. I love Jamie with my heart and soul and I do not want to leave. But yeah, that's just one thing I've realised. So going to this next session, I was like, I can't, I physically can't. Like every other

week I've had an excuse like, oh, well, you know, I had a big event this week and I had a premiere, film premiere, and I didn't want to, you know, get in the way of that. So I thought, well, I'm gonna have to do it. And I filled out like an e-consult form to get this appointment, because that was easier for me than phoning up. And the anxiety, it's riddled me with. They asked me for a picture of said thing

that I'm scared of. And that was very triggering for me, because when this first came up, I was constantly taking pictures of it, Googling it, you know, you know the drill. So, and I haven't done that for so long that it was quite triggering for me to do that again. I laugh about it.

I've genuinely had a very hard week with it and now I'm full of regret because it's my fucking birthday on Thursday and I'm like this is gonna be weighing on me on my freaking birthday. And yeah so I had to fill out this consultation form to get an appointment and I'm not, I haven't heard back yet for when I'm gonna get the appointment and if I just phoned up on the day I would have gone in that day because they do, is it called a triage system?

Where it's like same day appointments only situation unless you do e-consult. And now I'm just full of regret because now I've had this weighing on me for like a week rather than just going in on the day that I decided I was brave enough. I don't even know if I wanna put this in. I have this horrible feeling of like,

if I talk about something about my health, like I'm gonna have to explain one day that it wasn't, it wasn't anxiety and now I'm genuinely unwell. Oh, I don't even like saying that. Oh, wait, let me pause and think. Okay, I've decided that that is just another unhelpful way of thinking that if I talk about something, I'm gonna speak into existence or that's again me just predicting the future and catastrophizing and you know

all those things I've learned in therapy I'm still doing it so we're gonna leave that in because I know anyone with health anxiety can relate and I just hope it helps you're not alone. Changing the subject now, can we just talk about skin for a moment? I need all of my skin girlies to get up in my DMs and help me because my skin, since I've come off the pill, has been really bad and I've always suffered with it on my chest, back and shoulders and it's always been probably my biggest insecurity alongside my teeth and my nose.

Um but yeah it's it's quite bad at the moment and it goes up and down and one day my skin is like fucking unbelievable it's so clear mate. I'm like wow I'm actually perfect and then another day I'm like ugly bitch ugly bitch ugly bitch and yeah my skin is just becoming like such an issue for me And I'm getting to the point where I still feel pretty even even with my skin like having a freak out And I I'm like you know what that doesn't make you somebody not pretty like when I look at somebody else if their skins like mine I think they're still beautiful, so why would I not feel beautiful about myself? But um yeah, so when I come off the pill My skin's just freaking out a little bit, and I'm like oh, it's obviously hormonal because it's ever since I've come off the pill blah blah

But then I can't spot a pattern with it. I can't be like oh, I'm due on my skin's worse when I'm due on because for a Long time it hasn't really been clear So I'm like when I used to experience hormonal breakouts and stuff I noticed that you know is before my period a little bit what I'm on and then it clears up and then you know whatever I noticed the the pattern in my cycle whereas With this for like the last I don't know that four or five months. There hasn't been a pattern It's just been pretty constant. So I'm like, maybe it isn't hormonal. And then I'm breaking out in places

I've never broken out, like my forehead. And there's just loads and loads of bumps. Like it's like loads of bumps, right? So I was like, oh, maybe it's fungal acne. I know that sounds like really gross, but so I've been learning about fungal acne, which typically can be like on your forehead and like your temple areas,

which is where I have like these loads of tiny little bumps I was like, oh this kind of seems right So then I got that Anti-dandruff shampoo that everybody says like is really good for that. I think it's called like nizoral or something and It's done nothing. It's done nothing and so I'm like fuck what is going on you guys? What's going on in the House of Commons? Because I have no clue how to help my skin. And they're weird because sometimes I'll get

like those huge ones, you know, the ones that are just fucking killers, they really hurt. Sometimes I'll get like loads of them and I'm like, great. Like they make me feel like I can't cover these with makeup. Do you know what I mean? Like they they make me feel like, I can't cover these with makeup. Do you know what I mean? Like they just make me feel really shit. And then I'll get ones, like mostly, I've just got like, when I say thousands,

I reckon it's thousands, of tiny, tiny spots all over my face, like all over my cheek, my jaw, around my mouth, and all over my forehead and temples. Like the only place I'm not breaking out is my fucking nose to be honest I've tried so many products and the skincare routine that I was using when my skin was so so clear I just got all of those products again like they were from the ordinary because

I used to like just only use the ordinary so I was like let me go back to the ordinary and see if my skin clears up. And I'm putting niacinamide on my skin because that's the product that I was, I've used niacinamide for years and it was always what I thought kept my skin clear. And now like as I'm putting niacinamide on my skin, it stings and it burns.

So I'm like, what is going on with my face? I've tried so many different face washes. I've tried not washing my face. I've tried so many different face washes, I've tried not washing my face, I've tried using zero products, I've tried the products that my skin used to love, I've tried new products, I've tried ultra sensitive products. I know the- I know the rules, like I know, you know, no fragrance, no harsh chemicals, like I've tried to be really careful with the products that I'm using, the ingredients I'm mixing together, I know certain products you know like don't

mix this with vitamin C, don't mix that with benzoyl peroxide, niacinamide, blah blah blah and I know the ones you're not supposed to use together, I every time I put products on my skin I'm double checking can I use this with that, I'm double checking how often can I use it and no matter how simple or how extreme my skincare routine is I cannot sort my fucking skin out and I don't know where I'm going wrong. I think the fact that it's going all over my forehead is like what is going on that that's what's like really confusing me because this is like a type of breakout I've never had and I thought is it like a foundation I'm using so I'm switching up my

skincare my found my fucking earlier I'm switching up my makeup nothing's changed I've washed all my makeup brushes nothing's changed so I have no clue what to do and if you guys know the stress of like when you your skin's freaking out and you cannot figure it out It's fuck. It's so stressful I don't know why but I find it so stressful and If anyone has any advice if what I've just said gives you an idea of what it may be Please send me a message. I would appreciate any advice because right now I just Swamp my clear skin back fill up your shit. Do I mean miss our miss us so much

And yeah, I'm literally fine with the whole Hormones and you know, your skin goes through cycles one week. You're gonna have breakouts the next week It's gonna clear up I can live with that. I'm okay with that It's the it's gonna clear up. I can live with that, I'm okay with that. It's the constant breakouts and not knowing where I'm going wrong because I feel like I'm doing something, it's me, like I'm putting something on my face every fucking day that is giving me these breakouts and I can't figure it out for the life of me. I've started to drink peppermint tea first thing in the morning. Because I have PCOS as well and I'm wondering, should I go back on the pill? And to be honest, I'm not sure why I'm not on the pill

because I'm not ready to start trying for a baby. I also, you know, I've got my endo diagnosis, I've had the surgery, so I'm like, I could just go back on the pill but then also I'm so scared of all the health risks of being on the pill because I was on it for such a long period of time that my health anxiety started to freak out so bad because obviously there are risks if you're on the pill for such a long period of time. For me I was on it for 10 years. So I'm like, do I want to put my body through that, like,

abnormal, hormonal, do you know what I mean? Like there's something about it that just feels so like it's just not natural and it's not right, but at the same time like clear skin though and like I don't have to worry about like accidentally falling pregnant, do you know what I mean? So yeah, let me know if you guys have any ideas. It's so stressful, I can't even deal. Well yeah, that's what I was saying. I literally went off track. So because I have PCOS,

I know that one of the things with PCOS is testosterone. Like you can have higher testosterone levels. So I'm wondering, because people say that peppermint can bring down your testosterone levels and spearmint tea, spearmint, is that how you say it? I don't know, spearmint? And peppermint tea can bring down your testosterone levels

which is supposed to really help with hormonal acne. But I'm like, is the forehead situation gonna be hormonal? Like is that possible? Because I always thought that the hormonal acne was like your lower face, like your jaw and cheeks and around your mouth. I thought that was hormonal? Like is that possible? Because I always thought that the hormonal acne was like your lower face, like your jaw and cheeks and around your mouth. Like I thought that was hormonal acne. Surely the breakouts on my forehead isn't to do with hormones. Maybe it is. You guys will know better than me. But it's just like so, it's so much texture and it's just like a billion bumps and it's so weird. It's really strange and like I, it's becoming really consuming for me. I think it's the frustration around it and like just not getting it and

every day I'm I wake up and the first thing on my mind is like how's my skin today and I know so many people can relate. I think where I used to struggle a lot with in school and college and you need to be honest like my friends had the most beautiful clearest amazing skin and I was the one that just suffered with breakouts and stuff and I think it's quite triggering like it having this problem with my skin again. Bearing in mind I'm 27 like when my when do I get to have the clear skin situation do you know what I mean? Like I'm gonna have spots on my youth and then wrinkles when I'm older. And I'll probably still have spots. But yeah like I said it's just the confusion and like what am I doing? Where am I going wrong? So yeah hopefully one of you might be able to help me. But yeah I hope you're all feeling really good this week.

I'm excited to be chatting with you today and doing a normal episode with our weekly debate and dilemmas. So get comfy or get busy, whatever it is that you're doing while you're listening to me today. Thank you so much for tuning in. Oh, I also wanted to say,

if anybody remembers, anybody followed me from when I used to do YouTube and you may miss the YouTube vibes I've started making longer tick-tock vlogs and when I say long, I mean like four minutes and In YouTube in the YouTube world, that's atrociously short, but in the tick-tock world, that's that's long Like four-minute videos on tick-tock is very long So I've started to make four minute vlogs on TikTok and they're very YouTube cozy girl vibes

and I'm really enjoying it. So if you guys feel like you might enjoy that, make sure you go over to my TikTok at Leelavane to give them a watch. I've actually added them into a playlist called Long Vlogs. All right guys, let's get into the episode. Welcome to Leel on the Line. Join me every Tuesday as I dial your number for the ultimate unfiltered bestie catch-up.

Whatever it is, we will laugh together and guide each other along the way. Head to learontheline.com and follow Lear on the Line on Instagram to get involved. Love you! I've just realized this is my last podcast episode as a 26 year old. Guys next time we speak I'm gonna be 27 years of age. It's the wrong side of 25 to me. It's not my favourite age. It's definitely the age that I've had the hardest time accepting I'm reaching. I'll tell you why, because when COVID started, I swear I was 22. That's insane.

And I'm about to hit 27. And I think 22, you're young, you're dumb. You know where I'm going with this? No. And life is just fun, fun, fun. Like no stress. Like got no savings? Who gives a shit? You're 22. In debt? Who gives a shit? You're 22. Do you know what I mean? Living with your auntie in London with no idea where you're going to be in next year? Who gives a shit? You're 22. I'm 27. That is an age I feel I'm required to know what the fuck I'm doing

and I can confirm I do not. Oh magpie salute. And that's just terrifying it's just terrifying it is. It's just like if somebody said to me if I said to someone how old are you and I was 22 and I said how old are you? And I was 22 and I said, how old are you? They said 27, I think, whoa, what you got, like seven kids? Like, I just think you're just older, like, I don't know, 22 to 27 is just like, it feels so, so much older. And it, I've had a hard time with this birthday I think but just

because of like where I thought I might be and that's not to say that I'm not absolutely buzzing with where I am and like all the things I have achieved and I'm grateful for so much it's just it's very different to where I thought I'd be and that's I don't think it's a bad thing because where I thought I'd be, I don't actually want to be there and I'm not, I'm happy I'm not there. You know, I thought, I imagined I'd have kids and stuff and I'm like, I know, I'm not ready to give that up right now. I'm really not ready for that. I feel like I'm not far off, like ready to say like, let's fucking do this. But yeah, I just, there's just a couple of things

I wanna do before I step into my mom era. See, that's how you know I'm not ready because I would call it a mom era. And that's childish, okay? No, I just, you know what what's so crazy like you guys know my twin brother has a baby now And and then there's just little me. It's like well, yeah, you guys ate that but like not me not yet and Yeah, like I said, I don't think it's far away like when I feel like I'm gonna get to that moment where I'm like I Yeah, like I said, I don't think it's far away, like when I feel like I'm gonna get to that moment

where I'm like, I can see it, because I can see it, but if that happened to today, Leah, I would freak out. But then, do you ever not freak out? No, to be honest, I love watching the TikToks where it's just like everything they hope and dream for. And I think I just wanna be in that mindset when that happens, you know?

And I think I just want to be in that mindset when that happens, you know, and I think after my operation and it looks like It's part it's a possibility for me It makes me way more excited about it because I it's always been such a huge fear Like my biggest fear for me is that they were gonna tell me I'm fucking in fertile and like I can't have children and that Was always my biggest fear and something I convinced myself was gonna happen So them saying to me that like it is something that could happen for me, I was like, oh my god, like it's just, I was just so relieved. And yeah, I think now, I do believe it's probably gonna be quite difficult for me to conceive

because I have endo and PCOS and stuff but honestly I don't know why I'm talking about this. I really don't. I'm turning 27 all of a sudden I feel like I owe the world my motherhood. Like what? No one's expecting me to pop a baby out just because I'm turning 27. I need to calm down. To be honest, no one's asked me, because I hear people say all the time, people constantly ask me, when are you, do you want kids, when are you gonna have kids? No one's asked me that ever.

No one's ever asked me, do you want kids, when's the baby then? No one's asked me that. Kind of rude. Now I think about it. What, you think I'm too childish? You think I'm too immature? You don't see that for me.

No, but then at the same time if they asked me that I would have been like back off, back off, seriously. But yeah, oh 27. Hey, my plans for my birthday. Jamie actually told me that he planned to take me horse ride in because I said that that's something that I really want to do. I did it when I was a teenager. Not like as a hobby, like I've only done it twice in my life and I loved it so so much that I keep saying to him like I really want to do horse riding again, like I really just want to do it and he was like oh I've found a couple of places that we can go horse riding on your birthday and I was like love that, like you're so sweet for that but I don't want to do that and I tell you why because I'm scared to get

on a horseback I'm scared okay and it's mainly come back up because I'm reading the Chestnut Springs series where they ride horses on the daily that I was like get me on a fucking horse with my cowboy boots and a cowboy hat I'm terrified so I was like that's amazing and I really do want to do that with you but just not on my birthday because I Will have so much anxiety and that's I don't want to be feeling fear on my birthday, you know So how cute is he for that? But yeah, we we cancelled that plan. No, he didn't actually book it Which is lucky because I was like love that but no

Yeah, so we are just gonna go, because my birthday's on a Thursday, everyone else is working, Jamie got it off, thank the heavens. So we're gonna go out for a little brekkie. My sister's popping around to do like cards and prezzies, which I'm excited about. She thinks I'm gonna love what she's got me.

And I was like, I just fucking hope me, and I was like I should fucking hope so I mean ha ha just kidding you guys. I'm grateful And then we're gonna go to Bristol and just go for a nice meal stay in a hotel and just spend some quality time together Because I actually really like to do that on my birthday I like to just go somewhere not too far stay in a hotel go somewhere Like just out of town and just spend some quality time together because then on the Saturday obviously it's my twin brother's birthday as well so we're gonna do like a family meal which we normally do and all of us will get together and go out for a birthday

meal so that's my birthday plans this year I don't I'm not like a big do you know I will never understand people that throw themselves birthday parties? That is an anxiety level I hope to never experience because Nobody would come to my party. Main reason I would have no one to invite apart from all of you guys Which would actually kind of be so good. It's not actually a bad idea But actually kind of be so good. It's not actually a bad idea. But like people throw their own birthday parties and they like hire out a venue and they invite loads of people. It sounds so fun and I would love for everyone to revolve around me for the night. I would honestly love it. I'd love to be in an event and be the birthday girl. I would love it. Oh

You guys know me. I would eat that up I have a presence table. I'd have cards table. I'd have prosecco on arrival I'd wear the biggest sparkliest fucking dress you ever seen in your life But it's just not my real life. It's just not I don't have enough people that give a shit about me It's just not my real life. It's just not I don't have enough people that give a shit about me Sounds so like pick me pick me. Tell me you care. Tell me you care. No, it's absolutely true. I literally don't have friends 27 is a great time for me you guys But anyway, oh enough about me. I can just talk about me all day Let's get into the weekly debate. So my question this week is inspired by one of our dilemmas today and it is, your partner never posts you on social media but you have posted them. Is

it a big deal to you? What does it mean? Because this is the thing, last time I asked a question like this it was a lot of people coming back saying like well I don't use social media either so it's fine. I wanna know in a situation where you do use social media and you do post your girlfriend or boyfriend and they're not posting you, how are we feeling about that? Because that's different, do you know what I mean? So let's have a little look. As long as he doesn't post himself I don't care, mine is not active on social so I really don't care. Yeah, I get you. Yeah, like if you're literally a ghost to social media, you don't even post at all and you're not posting me? Sure. Okay, I can get on board with that.

In the upcoming season of Only Murders in the Building, Artrio's investigation leads them all the way to Los Angeles, where a Hollywood studio is readying a film about the Only Murders podcast. Amidst all the glitz and glamour, there is still an underlying mystery to be solved. It's who tried to kill Charles. Only Murders in the Building stars Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez. Joining the star-studded ensemble this season are Eugene Levy, Zach Galifianakis, Eva Longoria, Jane Lynch, and Meryl Streep. Season 4 of Only Murders in the Building premieres August 27th only on Disney Plus. Sign up now. To be honest, I couldn't.

But I can understand it more. I had this once we broke up, he admitted he was embarrassed of me. Is there something wrong with his brain? There was nobody need, nobody made you say that, nobody forced you to admit that out loud. I could have gone on my entire life without that truth. What a prick. If he isn't active on social then that's, then that's okay but we'd like it if he posted at least one pic of us. Yeah

I'm with you. If you don't use Instagram, and you've got one picture on your Instagram, one, I need to be in that. Oof. Hey. It's just nice for me to know that anybody that comes on your Insta is immediately, oh, here's a girlfriend.

Is, am I toxic for that? Let me know. Would be a massive red flag if they actually use their social media. Yeah, get you. If they are constantly using it and I'm nowhere to be seen, that's a major red flag, yes.

I'm all about private but not secret. A little post slash story now and then is nice. Yeah, I love those vibes. Even if you put me in a little post slash story now now and then is nice Yeah, I love those vibes even if you put me in a little photo dump or a little holding hands pic It doesn't even need to be my face. It's not about me. It's about your relationship status preferably do you know what I mean? But also show me off because I'm fucking stunning. Do you know what I mean girls? It's annoying but not relationship ending worthy. Yeah, I can agree. I can agree. It all depends on if they are posting in general.

My boyfriend doesn't post anything at all. Depends whether he's an active social media user. Massive deal for me. This is my love language. That's so interesting. Like, your love language is being posted on social media. Kind of love that. Like show me off, do you know what I mean?

I get it, that is definitely a love language. Show me off, flaunt me, because I'm the best one that's ever happened to you. Tell the world, like don't let me stop you, yeah? Yeah, I'd like to be posted. It's a way of showing that you're proud to be with me. Absolutely, the words ride out of my brain. Happens to me all the time, makes me. Absolutely. The words ride out my brain. Happens

to me all the time. Makes me feel like he's telling girls he's single. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll come back to that. I'm one to post our lives. We have a baby, et cetera, and he still won't post us. Okay. You... Okay. I was going to say to the last one, I said, we'll come back to that, but you've just literally got even more specific with the story I want to tell so I'm gonna touch on it now My brother has been with his girlfriend pretty much 10 years. I think it's 10 years this year Or next year. I don't know they have a whole baby They have a whole mortgage and a whole baby and a whole 10-year relationship. I don't think there's a picture of her on his Instagram. I Don't think he even posted the baby on there until very recently when I said to him

You know if you went on your Instagram, you wouldn't even know you had a family And he was like, oh don't use it and he doesn't use it. He does not use Instagram He doesn't post stories and I've never seen my brother post a story only he reshares my stories if we tag him And reshares his girlfriend stories if she tags him, but he doesn't post and if we're looking at the feed Yeah, like you say you wouldn't even know there was a baby or a girlfriend or relationship or a house or a family, right? Because he's not he's not like that too. We're actually opposites. We're twins and we're opposite I put my whole life on the internet Like to be honest, it's out of hand and my brother's the total opposite. He's very private

But it doesn't mean anything in this situation, do you know what I mean? It doesn't mean anything. He is with her like You know what I mean? It doesn't mean anything. He is with her, like, dedicated to her. She's, she's all he wants. They have a baby together. They've got everything that you'd want in your relationship. And he doesn't post it because it's not important, because it's real life and not about social media, Tim. And it doesn't mean anything. It's not, he's not embarrassed. He's not hiding anything. He just doesn't post her on social media. Doesn't post anything on social media. I think the only thing he fucking posts about is football, to be honest, like, Suzy Giddard.

So that's an example. If they don't really post anything, I'm fine, but otherwise I'm salty about it. Bothers me because they appear single to single girls if I'm not on there. Yeah, I get you. But this is where we have to realise, I'm gonna contradict everything I just said about like, oh, it's not about me, it's about your relationship status, like I want people to know you've got a girlfriend.

I'm gonna contradict myself. But realistically, your boyfriend could look totally single on social media and he could have girls sliding in the MDM's left, right and centre because for some reason he's God's gift, right? And as long as he does not reply, he is not interested, he's not even flattered, he just feels nothing about it. It doesn't matter Realistically like let's take away the show me off part Which we do want to be shown off every shown off every now and then if we're talking about Being faithful Appearing single online doesn't mean he's gonna act single online

You know That making sense only way I wouldn't be bothered is if they regularly upload stories of me or us yeah like if I can go on the story but this is the thing he can hide stories from people because let's let's come up with a scenario where it's bad and is a bad thing let's say that he's got a whole another woman or she's got a whole another secret relationship that she's not planning about whatever and you can just hide that person from your story

and just post post post post post all willy-nilly. No to be fair word would get around eventually wouldn't it? Just shut up Leah. I get it if they're trying to be private but it also feels like they're keeping me a secret. Yes. Yeah, I'm not a secret. If they don't post ever, then I'm not bothered. But if they post everything but you, then red flag. Okay, yeah, great point.

If they're posting everything apart from you, that is like, well, come on, I need I say more, you know? Depends if you post much in general, or if it seems like he's actively trying to hide me so basically What we've come to agreement on is it really just depends if he uses social media in general and if he doesn't Like at all Then whatever like it's not personal. How can I take that personally when it's it? Is in regard to every aspect of your life You don't post anything in your life

If you are posting when you're out with the lads if you're posting what you have for dinner if you're posting pics from work and You're active on that, but no one knows that I exist I'm pissed off and I'm gonna overthink that do you know what I mean? I I think I actually I'm in agreementthink that. Do you know what I mean? I think I actually am in agreement with all of you. To be honest I feel like we're all in agreement on this one today which is a lovely close to the weekly debate. Let's get into some dilemmas you guys. Okay guys let's go straight in with the one related to the weekly debate. Hey Pretty. I love debate. Hey pretty I

Love that. Hey pretty Wow, Jamie. Can you stop calling me that that's actually quite lovely Please have a go out some background my boyfriend and I have been together for just under two years From early on in the relationship. We've had multiple discussions about social media I openly post about him on my profiles, but he never does the same I openly post about him on my profiles, but he never does the same His argument is that he doesn't post much but when he does there's nothing that indicates he's in a relationship So he is posting we're getting some posts up on on the gram The only thing he shares are pictures of himself on holidays. We've been on

No, I'm sorry if you're getting on a couple's holiday and I'm not in a single pic, that's unusual. Do you know what I mean? Like even if you go on a friend's holiday, your friends make the gram. Okay. Um, and him with his friends, nothing that includes or acknowledges me as his partner. To add some context, early in our relationship I found out he was having flirty conversations with a girl from another country which made me feel even more uneasy about the whole social media thing. Well there you go, he planted the seed of insecurity in you. I'll say my piece at the end. Recently I decided to delete all the photos of him from my social media.

Okay, Petty, we love her. My thought process was that if he won't acknowledge our relationship online, then I won't either. Do you know what? It's Petty. But how can he argue it? Now he's angry and refusing to talk to me. Actually sulking. Get a life.

Claiming that people will think we've broken up. Well, people don't even know about us on your profile mate, so I won't worry. Told you. But fair point from him. Am I in the wrong for retaliating this way? I'm now wondering if this will ever work. I want a partner that is proud of me, wants to show me off and doesn't make me feel like I'm asking for too much. Sorry this is so long. Love ya. Love ya. Yeah.

Listen, I wouldn't say you're in the wrong for retaliating that way. I'd say it's petty and it's giving like, it's a little bit immature but listen, I can't say I wouldn't do the exact same thing because I can be petty and childish, alright? Just to make a point and I'm with you on it. And I don't think you're in the wrong for it, because you have every right to your feelings. And I think this whole situation at the beginning where there was another girl that he was messaging

has a big part to play. And I think when somebody breaks your trust, they actually need to do more to earn it back and to prove their commitment to you and I think posting you on social media would be an obvious big one because that's where the foul play took place you know and if I was you and I choose to forgive you like listen you've cheated on me with these messages And if I'm gonna choose to forgive you you've got to prove to me that you're committed to me And you don't want anyone else's attention and that for me involves being Visually and obviously in a relationship on your social media

So for me, I'd be having this conversation with him. Look. Yeah, okay fine I was petty deleting them pictures, whatever But you need to also understand where these feelings are coming from call my behavior what you want to call it I couldn't give a shit, but listen to my feelings here. I could put my hands up and say fine That was a retaliation and it was childish. Okay But I'm feeling real emotions and real feelings here that you're not willing to acknowledge you're just brushing me off and telling me I don't post on social media get over it and I that's something you'll just

expect to me and telling me to do and I'm telling you I can't because let's not pretend you didn't break my trust in the beginning on social media itself So if you want my trust and if you want this relationship You need to do more and if not posting your girlfriend on social media is just something you do But you want my trust back you're gonna have to change that you're gonna have to change what you're comfortable with and you're gonna have To start posting me on social media because you've actually got something to prove You're not just like in this new relationship with nothing to prove, you know, why wouldn't why would you not trust me? Why why does it matter? Why is it important to you that you're posting on social media?

This is real life. You actually can't say any of that to me because you I tell you why it's important Because you fucking cheated on me on social media. That's why it's important to me, and you've actually got a point to prove now. So, prove to me that you don't want anybody else messaging you in your DMs, you're not replying to anyone, you're not having flirty conversations anymore like you was in the beginning. Prove that to me by showing me and showing everyone

that you're proud to be with me. And I'm not asking for much. I'm really no like make a fucking one Instagram post of me and leave it there. Just one fucking post just to prove to me that you're loyal to me and if you think that's too much to ask I'm not with the right person. That's my mentality if I was you. Now if you think I'm asking for too much after what you did? We are not going to work babe. We're not like realistically. That's me We're not gonna work if you if you can't do this one simple thing because it's so simple I'm asking you to for me

It's so simple and it's actually because of your actions at the beginning that you should actually just be offering to do this Without me pressuring you without me feeling like I've held you at fucking gunpoint to put a pic of me on your fucking Instagram feed you should just be doing this me and if you can't do it I deserve that art and I don't want that like you want me to trust you again earn it literally do do something then I'm not just gonna trust you am I why would I do that look where that got me? You know, that's my mentality. I don't think you're in the wrong at all That's my that's my personal opinion and you you do deserve to be shown off

Especially after what he did in the beginning, you know, I love you so much keep us updated with that one the next one Okay Appropriate hand placement. This is an interesting one and I feel like I kind of want to do this as a weekly debate next week. Let me know what you think. Hey babe, hi Gorge. I don't know if I'm overthinking but what is classed as appropriate hand placement? My boyfriend and I were at a party. He was drunk and I was sober. We were talking to a female and my boyfriend leaned

in her ear to repeat what he said, but he placed his hand on her waist. Would you class this as inappropriate? Just making me overthink because what does he do when I'm not there? As he bought, oh sorry, also he bought a couple, we met a drink. we literally exchanged pleasantries Why do I love that phrase we exchanged pleasantries and plan to leave straight after again?

I think wow he's really friendly, but I wonder what he's like when I'm not there Yeah, don't be far and tequila's out willy-nilly, babe. Do you mean? Have I got a really friendly boyfriend or do I need to set boundaries? Please refrain from touching other girls and buying everyone a drink. We're saving for a house Might sound psycho, but it's made me feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't pull a guy in closer by the waist. Love you. Bye Okay. No, do you know what again? I'm with you. I'm with you if I was out and I seen Jamie I'm with you. I'm with you if I was out and I seen Jamie pulling a girl in by the waist I just think it's inappropriate but hand on the shoulder is friendly a hand on the shoulder is

friendly hand on the waist Like if another guy Put it this way. Okay. I have an example. I was at an event right and everyone was chatting everyone's being friendly and this guy leaned into me to To say something to me and he put his hand on my lower back and I immediately was like nope You have the wrong impression and I might have you might think I'm overreacting But I immediately took that as flirting you're flirting with me, right? Because if you just put your hand on my shoulder and pulled me in to say what you were saying, I'd think you're just drunk and touchy feely and friendly, right? He's just drunk and friendly.

Hand on the lower waist while they lean into your ear, it felt like, okay babe, I have a boyfriend and I- I didn't say anything. Obviously I didn't say I have a boyfriend. That's so embarrassing. He touches me and I'm like, I have a boyfriend! I didn't say anything. Obviously I didn't say I have a boyfriend. That's so embarrassing. He touches me, I'm like, I have a boyfriend. That's so embarrassing. I was just like, okay, and then I made conversation with somebody else away from that. But I knew, like as a girlfriend,

who was very much in love with my boyfriend, I was like, okay, like you probably mean that innocently, but out of respect, like I immediately didn't want to engage in the conversation anymore because I was like okay like you you probably mean that innocently but out of respect like I immediately didn't want to engage in the conversation anymore because I was like that's it just felt like it was bit over the line of like flirting and being friendly and obviously I'm in a relationship I'm not flirting with people so I took that on the receiving end as very flirty so if I watch Jamie do that to another girl I know I think that's flirty because when I was on the receiving end It felt flirty

Okay. No, you might think Liat that's so over-the-top. Not everyone fucking fancies you babe I think when you know, you just you just know when it was like, okay, like you just know so yeah I I don't think i would feel any different to you i think i'd feel like what the hell like can we not grab girls by the waist like hand on the shoulder is fine but hand on the waist just feels a bit sexual is that just me i realize that in these podcast episodes I come across like a fucking psycho and you wouldn't believe me if I said me and Jamie never actually have conversations about like this. Like he's never had to tell me and I've never had to tell

him like about flirting and stuff and I come across like I sound like I'm really controlling and I'm really like jealous and crazy about Honestly, I don't think I am I do think that's quite normal and don't get me wrong I know for a fact there are so many girls and guys listening that think there's nothing wrong with that and it's totally innocent But I don't think it's a case of right and wrong I think it's a case of like you say. I think it's a case of, like you say, personal boundaries and something that you felt uncomfortable with. And he might be one of them people

that just didn't see it like that, and it wasn't flirting. It was just, didn't even cross his mind that that would feel flirtatious to her or look flirtatious to you, blah, blah, blah. And it could just be innocent, which is fine. But it doesn't mean that you don't have a right to set your boundaries. Just because his intentions were innocent doesn't mean you should be okay with it. So

I feel like you have every right to say what you said to me of like, like can we not grab girls by the waist? And the buy and drink situation I think is fine. If you're buying them for couples, buy away. Do you know what I mean? If you're buying girls drinks, that's fucked. There's no need like somebody else can do that a single guy can do that. We know that that's a gesture for I fancy you, don't we? We all know that. I buy you a drink, buy you a drink. It means I fancy you. Unless we know each other personally or you really personally know a friend of mine or somebody that I'm with and it's just polite. But otherwise, yeah, it's's a move isn't it? So yeah I'm with you and I think you have

every right to set some boundaries there. Love ya. Hi lovely lady, hope you're enjoying the summer. Thank you! It's not very summery these days but I did enjoy the couple of days we had. My dilemma is something that's played in my mind for well over a year now. My boyfriend has a group of friends who are all idiots but I guess nice idiots if that's a thing. They're the type of people who are hilarious to be around but would always protect you sort of thing. That's sweet. Mine and my boyfriend's little boy is two now so my boyfriend doesn't really go out with them very often or join their lads holidays anymore thank god. Yeah thank god. We used to go out as the lads and lads girlfriends a few times

so I am friends with the girlfriends but not really good friends. One of the couples, lets call them Louise and Mike, are god parents to our little boy, more so because my boyfriend and Mike have always been best friends so we asked them both. However, my boyfriend has told me that on many occasions Mike has cheated on Louise with other girls. All random one night stands with strangers but I've known this to happen more than five times in the last year. This happens all the time doesn't it? When the boyfriend's mixed with the boyfriend's girlfriend's it always comes out like this. I've I've been in this situation I've been in this exact same situation

They have a house together and the way that Mike talks about Louise to my boyfriend is quite awful EG about how she is put on way and sexual things. He doesn't want to do Fuck off then let her be with someone she fucking deserves What a prick Louise is completely oblivious to this but when my boyfriend tells me these things I tell him how awful it is of Mike and something like that would really upset me. All the boys in their lads groups know what Mike does and they all laugh about it. I'm sorry, but it also says a lot about them as well. I personally think Louise needs to know but if I told her that would result in my boyfriend

no longer trusting me. They've also been on a recent lads holiday where another boy slept with a random girl whilst his pregnant girlfriend was at home. Do I just stay out of it? Love you. To be honest, I think it does bring us to that dilemma, that weekly debate we did where it was like,

does your boyfriend's, wait, about your boyfriend's friends are all cheaters, like, is that red flag blah blah, are your, are your, I fucking only are, are your friends a reflection of you? Are you who you surround yourself with, etc etc. And it brings me to that because if this was Jamie, I'd think, why do you want to be friends with these people they're all pricks all vile you know like I I would be looking at my boyfriend and being like why do you want to be friends with these people you know like is it time to grow up I don't know it's so hard because I think you should stay more loyal to your boyfriend Than to this girl However, we know I always say this fucking tell the girl like I always say this just oops Through my mic across the room. Just tell her like poor girl

like I'm always on the side of of like let the poor girl know that she deserves better god I sounded so Bristolian them But in this occasion I just think the truth will always come out. It does. In my experience I held on to a secret where one of my friends, best friends, was cheating on their girlfriend from like they were together like eight years and and he cheated on her on a lads holiday and I Was sworn to secrecy because obviously my boyfriend trusted me with that and not only would I

Be in deep shit with him if I'd told the poor girl like your boyfriend cheated on you by the way like blah blah blah told me, not only would my boyfriend never trust me again but his friends would never trust him again because you've told the girls, you've told your girlfriend and as bro code there's certain things you don't you're not supposed to tell your girlfriend right and he trusted me to hold on to that secret so I was like what do I do because if I tell this poor girl I feel like I've done the right thing for her but the wrong thing for everybody else mainly for my boyfriend at the time so I was like what do I do I did nothing and I don't think it ever came out but they did break up

so I was just a bit like relieved for her that she got out of that relationship and Other people didn't have to get dragged down with it. So I do believe sometimes it's easier to just stick to your Bubble and just you know what it will come out in the end and if it doesn't the relationship won't fucking last hopefully for her sake because These relationships they're not going to last like he's not gonna get away with it forever And if he doesn't if it doesn't come out, I'm sure he'll eventually leave or she'll leave and you know It will be okay. I just think keep telling yourself It's gonna be okay, and you don't need to get your boyfriend in shit, you don't need to get yourself in shit and just stick in your

little happy bubble. I'd also be having conversations with my boyfriend like do you actually like respect these guys because I have no respect for these guys you know so that's my opinion on that one love you babe I'm sorry you're in such a shit situation. It is hell But yeah, thank you guys for sending in all your dilemmas today If you have one to send in remember leontheline.com or if you want to send it in over email It's leontheline at gmail.com and you can send in pics there Screenshots whatever as you want send them over babe. Let's wrap up the episode If you stayed for the outro, I love you you're my favorite Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode today. I hope you all have an amazing week

Where is that you're getting up to? Remember, it's my birthday Don't you guys forget it? Okay, I can do this. All right guys. I love you so much I hope you have an amazing week and I'll speak to you on Tuesday for a brand new episode. Alright, I love you, bye! In the upcoming season of Only Murders in the Building, our trio's investigation leads

them all the way to Los Angeles, where a Hollywood studio is readying a film about the Only Murders podcast. Amidst all the glitz and glamour, there is still an underlying mystery to be solved. It's who tried to kill Charles. Only Murders in the Building stars Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez. Joining the star-studded ensemble this season are Eugene Levy, Zach Galifianakis, Eva Longoria, Jane Lynch, and Meryl Streep. Season 4 of Only Murders in the Building premieres August 27th only on Disney+. Sign up now.