Leah on the Line - 117: Being in your 20s is HARD

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, well, well you girls. Hey, just coming at you as a mature 27 year old woman. Hi guys. How's everybody? My birthday is over. Leo season is over. My fellow Leos, it's a sad time for us all. But Sabrina Carpenter's new album is out so to those that celebrate happy Sabrina Carpenter month. Oh what do we think of the album? What's everyone's favorite song? Right now I'm loving... Um... Her, you're back together And if that's true You'll just have to taste My dog's barking one second, let me just shut her the fuck up Okay, we're back and we're rolling

So yeah, I'm loving taste at the moment It's a bit catty, mind I just think, like, imagine You was the one that got back with your ex and some girl was going like You'll just have to taste me when he's kissing you Literally fuck off. It's very catty for Sabrina and I kind of hate that but it's a it's a bop It's a tune. Have you seen her on chicken shop when she's like I love when British people say that's a tune mate. That's a tune. I get really excited for chicken shop episodes

Because she always has just the best people on it like when she had the Jones Brothers on it you best believe I was I had a countdown on my phone no it didn't but I was really excited and then all of a sudden the days come and it's live and you can watch it and then it's over within five minutes so you have all this excitement for five minutes but it is five minutes of just pure excellence do you know who else me and Jamie have been binging on YouTube? Does anyone know the comedian Morgan Jay? Right? He's like, what's your name girl? You too fucking tonight? What I gotta do to make you too fucked tonight? And when we first started watching him, right, we would watch like a 20, 30 minute video video like a full set of him and

Enjoy the whole thing like we would enjoy it right we was enjoying it It was having a great time and then by the end of the video you realize like he had me like I was watching Like he had to make something as they say we stand up when you've lost the audience you've lost him You can never get back right So he had us like we was in it like we was enjoying the whole video But then by the time we get to the end we realized like we was in it like we was enjoying the whole video but then by the time we get to the end we realize like we've had a straight face the whole time like I don't even think my lips have curved once like I'm literally like deadpan like yeah it's really good it's

really good but I am enjoying it and now we've watched a few I think you have to like get him a bit and now we just fucking find him so funny and he like he just is I think his whole act is just crowd work and then he does like songs as well like but they're comedy songs but he is actually pretty musically talented like he's actually really good on the guitar and I reckon he's got a good voice but yeah he just does like crowd work and he'll just go over to like a random person in the audience and be like is that your man girl? Is this your man? And sometimes he has auto tune on,

which for some reason makes it more entertaining. And I've realized, sometimes comedians, cause I went to a stand up show, right? And it can be really awkward. And sometimes when you watch stand up, it can be really awkward. But with his show, it can't be awkward. Cause even when it's dead silent,

he's strumming a couple of chords and he's just playing. So you guys need to watch him on YouTube if you haven't but yeah he'll just be like you fucking tonight and if they're like no we're not fucking tonight he's like a yoga Christians is that what's up and then they'll be like yeah and then he's like you can still do anal God doesn't see anal and I don't know why we just love him at the moment. Because I open YouTube and obviously it just shows you like recommended videos just based on your taste. So every time we open YouTube when we're in bed like it's just him and I can't not watch it.

Yeah we love him, we just think he's great. But yeah my birthday guys. I had a beautiful day. Me and Jamie went to Bristol for the day. Sorry to anyone that's from Bristol. I had a beautiful day. Me and Jamie went to Bristol for the day. Sorry to anyone that's from Bristol. I don't like Bristol. I just I hate it there. But to be honest we just wanted to be in the city. We just wanted to be in a city for the night. So we went to Bristol and we stayed in a really nice hotel. We did like a bit of shopping when we got there in the daytime, went to our hotel, got ready and then we were sat drinking at our hotel bar but guys we I tried to get birthday Insta pics okay go check him out actually while we're on the topic but so yeah Jamie's taking pictures of me on the Canon on the cam and then all of a

sudden like it just felt really awkward we were sat at the bar, there was chairs at the bar, so we sat there, there's only one other table in this bar, and Jamie's taking some pictures of me. And then the bar staff was being a bit, what's the word, just a little bit sus, I was like, whoa. And then I started feeling really embarrassing, really insecure, and bearing in mind

I've been doing this as my job for a long time like I definitely feel a lot more confident getting content in public these days I used to find it like Humiliating like I'd get a picture in private and that's it. Whereas now like especially with Jamie He's always like who gives a shit. Let me get a pic babe. You look beautiful. Let me take a pic-y. So I'm like trying to be comfortable even though I'm low key my bum cheeks are clenching and I'm so embarrassed, right? And then they're being just kind of sus. And then they like go downstairs and then they come back up with the manager

and we'd started like filming a TikTok together, you know the one that was like, I have a busy week to you, Thursday, no boo, Vegas Friday, you know that one. So me and Jamie are like halfway through this TikTok and then they're like whispering back at the bar back and then they come over to us and they're like do you guys want a table? I was like why? Can we not sit at the bar? Is it a problem? And then we felt so uncomfortable and I was like, um, no, like, thinking, well, if we're not allowed to sit at the bar, why is there chairs all along the bar? Like, and they're not just little stools while you wait to be

served, like, they're like proper chairs, like lounge chairs. So we were so uncomfortable and we were just like, oh, no, like, we're quite happy here. But then I was like, oh we'll go after this, like don't worry we'll just go after this. So we literally finished our cocktail. I had a margarita but it was basically just fucking sea water, like he put so much fucking salt around the rim. And listen, I may have mentioned this before but I was bartender back in the day, okay. I used to make cocktails. I was a mixologist. That's not a fucking thing. I know that's what it's called on sims. Oh wait, I've got to stir the subject guys. So I, I finished the Chestnut Spring series. If you want like a full in-depth book review, it's coming on TikTok. I have a whole series on TikTok called Books

or something like that. And I still need to review the fourth and the fifth book of the series. All I'm gonna say is I don't have that good things to say. Sadly. To sum it up, the fourth book I liked but didn't buy it at all. Like I just didn't buy this chemistry and this connection

that we're supposed to be like in love with as a reader. And then in the fifth book, the story was so different to the rest. I was like, the reason I love this series so much is because it's on a ranch, you know, with the cowboys. And all of a sudden it's like, I wanna live in the city, blah, blah, blah. I was like, whoa, hold on a minute.

I wanted a nice wholesome finish to my cowboy romance series so I'm sad about that but anyway I'm in my cowboy romance series era and I just downloaded Sims again and I did not know that there is a new pack. I don't even know it's over a year old now but it's called like, what's it even called, like the ranch? Ranch? Something? Ranch? Or something? It's fucking Cowboys mate. It's literally, you can design a horse and I wanna make the whole of the Chestnut Springs family. Yeah, I do. Luke included, all the babies included, Harvey included. I did have a little peek on the Sims library and somebody has made the whole of Chestnut Springs which

is just stunning. You can literally download the ranch. So that's exciting. But does anyone else get this with the Sims, right? Yeah, I'm fucking 27 and I still play a Sims, alright? Fucking get off my dick! But does anyone else get this? With the sims, I get an idea, I'm like wow this is so exciting, I'm gonna make the whole of Chestnut Springs and I'll create all these characters design every outfit their pajamas

their party wear what they're gonna wear to the wedding that I will be hosting right? Not hosting weddings are so boring on sims um and then I will design their house, I will, and I will decorate it to the nines and then we hit play and I close the lid to my laptop and I never open the family again. Literally so boring. Sims is kind of boring, they need to do something with Sims to make it fun

and I think the only way that's gonna happen is Sims Online. I'm sorry, could you imagine Sims Online? It'd be like Habbo, but Sims, but better. Do you know what I mean? That needs to be a thing. Anyway, how long have I been talking? Because I don't think I've said anything important in this whole episode so far.

How is everybody? Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. How are you guys? How was your week? I hope you all had an amazing week. I... Do I feel different now that I'm older? Not sure. But, this episode I was inspired by my birthday.

Me, me, me, me, me. Basically, we speak about this a lot about how like being in your 20s is difficult and how we're all in the same boat but yet we feel so far apart from each other. We're in constant comparison to each other. Yet we all feel the fucking same. And I get so many DMs and dilemmas

about this sort of subject. And we have done something similar. I think it was literally, I don't remember what the episode was called, but I feel like it's a really, I don't remember what the episode was called but I feel like it's a really, I'm in a really good place now to talk about things that I've learned because you know I'm on the far end of my 20s. Not nice for me to admit but I am. Three years left of them. Fucking hell three years. That'll go by like that. I was 24 three years ago. That's insane. I literally was 24 yesterday. Swear. I'm sure of it. So yeah, I feel like this episode is going to be really hopefully

comforting for people and including myself, but I popped up a few stories. I want to hear what you guys have to say about all of this. I've got some some specific questions, I'm intrigued by some polls and I wrote a list of things that I learned in my 20s slash wish I knew before or you know when I was younger and things that might be helpful for you guys to hear or you know whether that's you guys might be early 20s or if you are late 20s even early 30s whatever I don't know how old you are But if my calculations are correct a lot of my listeners are of a similar age to me So yeah, I'm really looking forward to this episode. It's gonna be lovely

Thank you for being here with me today to see get comfortable strapping Although no need it's gonna be quite chill. Yeah, let's get into the episode guys Although, no need, it's gonna be quite chill. But yeah, let's get into the episode, guys. Welcome to Leer on the Line. Join me every Tuesday as I dial your number for the ultimate unfiltered bestie catch up. Whatever it is, we will laugh together and guide each other along the way.

Head to leerontheline.com and follow Leer on the Line on Instagram to get involved. Love you! Okay, everyone. So, I'm gonna kick it off with with I feel like the most obvious question and that is what is the biggest thing you have learned in your 20s? So I wasn't sure how to word this because I was thinking originally I was gonna say what has your biggest lesson been in your 20s but then obviously there's people that are like 24, 23 and just

because you're early 20s I'm sure we've all learned a lot already compared to whatever age you are, do you know what I mean? So I just thought what's the biggest thing you've learned in your 20s you know so far from whether you're 22 or 29? Okay. To live in the moment, trust the process and that everything truly happens for a reason. See, I find this live in the moment situation quite hard. Like, I, one thing about me is I'm never in the moment. That's something I should work on

because I've said this before, like, I'm one of them people, and I don't like this about myself, that I'm constantly waiting. Like, I'm't like this about myself that I'm constantly Waiting like I'm like when this happens I'll be less stressed when this happens. I'll relax when this happens. I'll feel fulfilled when this happens I'll be happy when this happens I'll feel better and I'm always like when this when this when this and I saw this really amazing tick-tock. I Think I've mentioned this before, I'm sure I have,

but she was just basically like, you're living now, like life is now, like I'm waiting for life to start. Life's been life in for 27 years. And I'm like, oh, you know, like life begins when blank, you know, and I'm realizing now, this is the moment, this is the life. So yeah, the live in the moment situation, I'm like well what's the moment? Like oh and what do I do in the moment? You know,

because I feel like especially in our 20s it's constantly about our future, do you know what I mean? It's all it's about, like everything you do is about your fucking future, whether that's like you're saving for a house or you're working your way up in your career, you're studying or you're, you know, building a relationship to start a family one day. Like whatever it is, like it feels like your whole 20s is about the future. So it's hard to feel like it's ever about the now. Does that make sense? Um, but you are absolutely right.

You are absolutely right. Everyone is doing things in their own timelines, don't compare yourself to others. Yes, we will get into that as well actually, great point. People make mistakes and that's okay but if an action is repeated it's a choice. Yeah, I mean facts. I think learning about other people and how they treat you and vice versa, like your relationship with people and how you treat people is something we really have like an awakening to in our twenties. Like you realize so much about your impact in the world. That sounds so deep, but it's true.

Like how you treat people and how people make you feel I don't know like I feel like from 25 onwards I was so like hyper aware of relationships with people in your life do you know what I mean because I feel like when you're young you don't really deep your relationships like you've got like yeah they're my friend that's my boyfriend that's my sister that's my mom blah blah blah and they're just like they have roles and you have roles, and when you get older, I think you decide who do I wanna be as a sister, what type of friend do I wanna be,

what type of friends do I want to attract, what type of friends do I not want in my life, and stuff like that. So you become more aware of how someone's treating you, and sometimes it is a reflection of of yourself. Sometimes it's a reflection of what you allow for yourself, what you what you thought what you once thought was love and then you you learn as you get older what what is and isn't love. Do you know what I mean? Loyal friends are better than lots of friends. Yeah just a quantity over quantity. Oh that's wrong.

are better than lots of friends yeah just a quantity over quality oh that's wrong I mean quantity over quantity situation quantity over quality you guys don't do things to please others yeah I think this is actually a big one as well. Like you definitely get to a point where you realize I'm a fucking people pleaser Raise your hand if you've been a What's the word? I don't even know the word. I'm a wait wave Wave your hands up in the air guys. I Actually, don't know what's wrong with me tonight. Raise your hand if you have one day just been like, hold on a minute, I'm fucking people pleasing

and you realize because sometimes I don't think I realize how much of a people pleaser I was for a long time and I think that comes down to like, you know how I'm like, I've said this before, especially like at the beginning of my podcast, I used to always talk about how it mattered so much what people thought of me and I wanted, I needed people to like me like from school to like early adulthood. Why am I feeling so dumb tonight? Like I feel like my words just aren't correct. Anyway,

so yeah and then I sort of realized people's opinions matter so much to me because I'm a people pleaser. Like it took me a long time and I'm definitely not at the point where I'm like, if you don't like me, I don't care. Like no, no, no. If you don't like me. I was going to say I want to know why, but I also am too sensitive. So I'll just try and change it.

I'll just try and figure it out on my own and try and change it. And that's people pleasing. But now I think the difference is I'll ask myself if your opinion matters to me You know and if your opinion comes from you don't know me You're just guessing or you do know me and you still have a negative opinion because that's what I've got a problem with That's what I'm I'm like, I don't like that Do you mean but if it's just like a random person? They don't know you and they don't like you then That's not important because they don't know you, you know, they're just wrong Okay, everyone is figuring things out and you don't need to know everything right now. Just enjoy it. I agree

I definitely agree that I've Definitely got to a point where I'm almost I just surrender to the universe. I'm like, I don't know what the fuck is going on I don't know what I'm doing I think because so much has happened in my life in the last like I guess seven years since throughout my 20s Where I did not see them come in and they've been good and they've been good things and things that might have felt bad At the time turned out to be really really good for me. So I Think going through those things makes you, it makes it so much easier to get to a point where you're like, you know what, this will all make sense

eventually and I can't make sense of it right now but I'm sure I will. To not worry over things you can't control, it's a waste of energy and you just feel negative. It's so true. I was actually discussing this in therapy recently, we did. It was like a, what's it called? Those diagrams where you like it's a box and then you follow the line if it's like yes or no, then you go down to the next box. You're gonna know what I mean. And the question was like, what am I worrying about? Can I change it right now? Is there something I can do to change it? Can I do anything right now? If the answer is no, we'll come back to it later. Yes. Okay, what can I do? Let's do it. Do you know what I mean? And learning to worry, to not worry about things that you can't control is hard and it's a skill,

but I do think it's something we could all work on. What a free state of mind if you're like, well, out of my control. Fuck it, do you know what I mean? Like my sister, this is a good example, my sister is supposed to be starting university next month, right, but she was left hanging by her uni until this week, by the way, bearing in mind the course starts in like three weeks, less than that actually.

And they wasn't even sure if the course was gonna go ahead and she's so stressed stressed out and she's like what am I going to do like if this doesn't go ahead I don't know what I'm going to do with my life like because she studied she's got three kids right so she's studying later in life and she's like I've waited for this moment like I'm finally at my kids are finally at an age where they're going to all be in school full time I can dive into education and work up to a career that I've really dreamed of etc. She's done the first level of education and now she's ready to start her degree yeah and she's like if this doesn't go ahead everything was a waste of time, I don't know where I'm gonna go with my life, I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life

and then I said to her if this course doesn't go ahead It wasn't meant for you and it's and then she's like yeah, you're right Do I mean it's out of my hands if the course doesn't go ahead? It's not right for me and if it goes ahead brilliant I'm on the right path, you know And I think sometimes you just sort of have to remind yourself like if it if it doesn't happen It's not right if I can't control it. I'm just gonna sit back and let it do its thing. You know what I mean? Everything happens for a reason. Yeah, perfect timing.

Stress doesn't help anything, it just slows you down. This is the thing. My auntie always told me. Worry is the most useless emotion. It's different to fear. Fear has a purpose in your life. It protects you, it keeps you safe, you know, like most emotions you can take something good from it. Worry is like the only emotion that does nothing for you, it doesn't change the outcome and it doesn't make you feel better before we get there, it just makes you feel shit. You know that like really cringey cliche but true saying where it's like, it doesn't change change the future it just takes away the piece of

today like it's so cringe but it's actually true you know so i agree girl if they wanted to they would yeah you know what i agree with this i do agree with that um that most people only post the good stuff online stop comparing yourself absolutely, absolutely, yeah, I agree. Be more patient and understand that actually I'm still young and it's not bad. Yeah, so true, so true. Having close friends isn't everything in life. This is the thing, there are so many of us

that don't have close friends. Like, I don't. I would do anything, yeah. I would love to have besties and just be like, my girls, like the girls chat, group chat, girls holidays, like girls weekend, wine nights, sleepovers, you know, like, I would love that.

And I do, this kind of contradicts what you're saying because I do feel the opposite. I do feel like I miss out in so many ways where I don't have that. But a lot of it is my fault, like I don't put myself out there to make friends. Like I'm such a, I've always been like this as a kid. Like I wouldn't go on school trips, I wouldn't go to the school discos, like I've always been like a stay at home, homebody, shy girl, like introverted. Even though I'm like a Leo and like I've done musical theatre all my life and I'm like I want the

lead role, like and I have a fucking podcast that's like Leo on the line, like me me me me me. I'm still very introverted and I find it really hard. I did a whole episode about like struggling to be in people's company and I feel really overstimulated. I'm hypersensitive and it's very emotional for me. Like having connections with people feels so emotional for me that it's easier for me not to. But I wish I didn't feel like that.

I wish I could have these friendships with people. But I don't know if it's just because growing up I didn't have that either because I was bullied by my best friend in school. Like, friendships was always a toxic, difficult thing for me. So I wonder if that's probably why I'm hypersensitive and find friendships, like not friendships, but like, I don't know how to describe it, but I find certain things really over-simulating and maybe that does come from being bullied by your best friend in school. I don't know. But yeah, and I would love to have friends that feel like your best friends. I would love that. And I don't know, I just feel like, I've spoken about this before, like how I just really struggled to find people that feel similar to me and that I really connect with. And I find it really easy to like be around girls, especially

like going to events more recently, it's been massive for me, because I've made friends and I really enjoy their company and like I've met so many girls that I think, oh my god, we actually would so get on like and we and we do get on and we get on really, really well. But we're not best friends, do you know what I mean? And I wish I had that and I really miss that in my life because I have had that but I don't really know how to navigate that and how to do that because it's one of them things where it's like you don't want to force friendships but they don't just fucking happen like someone doesn't just wake up like let's be best friends you know? So yeah that is something I do want to navigate

because like you say it isn't everything in life and I do feel so fulfilled in my life in my relationships elsewhere like I have my sister who is my best friend my boyfriend is my best friend my mum's my best friend but you still want the girls you know so yeah you're right it's not everything but I just to anyone out there that feels the same as me because I know that when I spoke about this previously there are a lot of you that said that you can relate. I feel you girl. Um anger and resentment only poisons you not them let it go. This is so true I don't think I'm the type of person that really holds on to like anger like I'm really not a stubborn person and it's funny because that's meant to be like one of the biggest traits of a Leo but my, I had this conversation with my mum the other day and she does agree that I'm not stubborn and yeah so I've never really been

someone that holds onto anger like anyone that I've like lost touch with or like I don't even know because I say like falling out but I don't really have like, I've never really had like fall outs as an adult where you like never speak again like where you fell out, do you know what I mean? Like basically anyone that I've like lost touch with or whatever, I have no negative feelings towards anyone in my past like old friends whatever like I just don't have that because like you say I don't like how it makes me feel and I find it easier to just let things go and not hold onto it because I think,

it's just a case of like, I know, I'm only taking it personally if I hold onto like anger and stuff like that. That's just me taking it personally and I think when you can get to a point where you're like, it's not personal, it's easy just to like breathe it out and just be like, anyway, all the best. And like, yeah, I totally 100% agree with you.

Stay persistent, don't let people get in the way of what you want, absolutely. It's okay to outgrow people and to learn their true colors. You don't need to always forgive people. This is such a good point for somebody like, say you was friends with somebody for so long like 10 years, 15 years, 20 years and you one day realize like I don't really respect you like say like they was a massive cheater and they cheated on their partner all the time. It's okay to

get to a point where you're like I don't I find it hard to have respect for you when you behave in a way that is so like, I find it hard to have respect for you when you behave in a way that is so against what I believe to be right. Do you know what I mean? I think when you become older, you decide, hold on, yeah, we have a right laugh and yeah, we grew up together and I love your company,

but at the same time, sometimes it's hard to obtain friendships with people if they act in a way sometimes it's hard to obtain friendships with people if they act in a way that you find hard to respect and support. Do you know what I mean? Trust your gut. I saw something the other day that was like, you know that thing where it's like, what's the difference between your anxiety and your gut? And you know, like, it's a classic one of like, my boyfriend's cheating on me. Or like you have dreams about it. Or like something's telling you to like check their phone.

And like sometimes it's just anxiety. Sometimes you're just making it up and you're literally fucking completely making it up. Another time it is your gut and you just know. And I can't remember what it said, but it says something about like the difference between anxiety and intuition. Your intuition is quiet and it's just there and like I just feel this and I just know

it. And anxiety is loud. It's like, oh my god, what if he's cheating on you? What if he's messing that girl that he told you not to worry about? Maybe I should just check his phone, blah, blah, blah, and your intuition is just like, something's not right, and I just know it in my gut. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, thought that was interesting.

It's okay to stand up for yourself. Yeah, this is a hard thing to learn, I think. I wouldn't say that I'm very good at that. I don't think I've particularly been in a situation as an adult where I've had to like truly stand up for myself to somebody like compared to when I was a kid and you'd get like bullied, fuck no, I never stood up for myself ever.

But as an adult, I suppose it's like, say you're being treated unfairly in a work environment, you were being exploited or something like that. Like I remember I was working in a pub when I was 22 and this is at the time where I really felt like a child, remember I said this to you before about how like especially in work environments I felt like my manager was so much bigger than me and I was this tiny tiny insignificant little bean that just had to do what she was told and I found out that all the men were getting paid more than us, the girls, and it was by like 50p an hour and I was just pissed off about it. I was like are you fucking serious? The manager was a woman and I was like are you joking? Like this is not okay and I couldn't, I always try and talk

myself out of it like, no you know it's probably just because of this and it's probably just because of that because I don't want to have to confront anyone. I always try and talk myself of why I'm wrong and why I don't deserve to stand up for myself and so I asked one of the guys who was younger than me, he was 20 right, because I thought oh maybe it's because like I'm not 25 yet blah blah blah and he was earning more than me and I was like first of all I've been here longer than you. So I was like what? Like you're younger than me, you're earning more than me because I thought okay we're in different age brackets maybe it's that, no it's not. So I went to my

manager and I was like why are the guys being paid more than us? And she literally was like, I don't wanna get into this with you right now. And very soon after that I quit my job, but having the balls to literally say to them like, why is this happening? Actually was really hard for me and I would never have done that even a year before.

I would have just literally been like, oh, well, you know, maybe it's a mistake, blah, blah, blah. I'll just accept it. But yeah I think it's hard to get to a point where you're like, no, hold on a minute, that's not right. And I guess because I do think it comes from being bullied like you don't have a voice, especially if anyone can relate, when you get bullied by your best friend you have no voice and if you ever dare to use it, fuck all hell will break loose. So finding your voice as an adult feels hard, it feels really hard. Okay, let's move on.

So my next question is a poll, okay, and it says, did you feel different when your frontal lobe had fully developed? So basically, your frontal lobe had fully developed? So basically your frontal lobe is essentially developing all your life and then they say around the age of 25 is when it has fully developed and this helps you navigate relationships, emotional understanding, empathy and I guess, yeah I don't know, it's more detailed than that but you get the gist and I genuinely feel very different since like the last three years I feel so much more like I

just feel more emotionally intelligent not even in terms of like I I'm way fucking smarter, just more in terms of like, I'm so much more emotionally aware and I do feel so much more empathy, I feel so much less like, I don't know, when you're young I feel like your world revolves around you, doesn't it? You're just like young and freaking out and then when you, obviously we're still young, I'm saying, when I say when you're young I mean like when you're younger and then as you're young, I mean like when you're younger. And then as you're like, I don't know, getting to this 25 mark, things changed for me. Like I genuinely, genuinely did feel a difference. Obviously, I wasn't like, hold on a minute, my brain feels totally different.

I can just, I can actually say that I feel I understand things differently in probably the last year or two maybe in the last year more so I just feel like more mature like I don't know it sounds really pick me I'm really cringe but it is so true and I've really noticed it in myself. Like I just feel different in terms of, especially when it comes to like the idea of having kids. Like I was so like oh god maybe in 30 years, do I mean? Like it was, it felt miles away even when I was like 25, 24, yeah 25 to be fair and now I feel like, like I was saying last week, like I'm not ready yet. I'm really not ready yet but I can see it and before I couldn't even see it. I didn't feel capable, I didn't feel like I held

enough empathy, emotional understanding, emotional intelligence. I didn't feel ready to take care of anyone. So I was just like, no, no, no. And as I'm like ageing, I just feel myself becoming some someone different and a version of myself that I do like. But yeah, I just do feel myself becoming different. So I was really intrigued to see if you guys felt the same. And if you, if you genuinely was like, hmm, I do feel more mature and I do feel more emotionally aware and feel more empathetic towards people or whatever to yourself like whatever and the response is pretty interesting. It's almost 50-50 so it's 53% and 47%. 53% have said didn't notice, 47% have said yes!

said didn't notice, 47% have said yes! So yeah, I thought that was so interesting and I kind of would love to get into why and how with you guys. Maybe we could chat about that next week. I feel like that would be so interesting to me. But yeah, I just thought that was so interesting and definitely something I wanted to touch on in this episode. Okay so my next question is are you where you thought you would be at your current age? Now we spoke about this last week, I did not think I would be where I am. Doesn't mean I'm not happy with it okay, it does not mean that. I'm definitely now in the last few months like feeling more safe in where I'm at in life like in terms of calmness. I was so freaking out like I was so freaking out. I was freaking out and I was so panicky and I'll probably feel like that again in

a couple of months. Do you know what I mean? It's just life. It's normal. But recently, very recently I've taken more of a things are just happening the way they're gonna happen and I'm here, I'm alive, I'm living, I'm kicking. And I'm just grateful for that, do you know what I mean? So yeah, I was really intrigued to see what you guys had to say. So, are you where you thought you'd be at your current age? I put laughing face, no.

Exactly where I imagined or laugh and face, no. Exactly what I imagined. Or better, not gonna lie. And 71% have said no. Which should tell us a lot really, like I don't know whether this comes from society, from school, but for some reason we all thought we would be somewhere else at whatever age we're at now. For some reason we didn't we would be somewhere else at whatever age we're at now. For some reason we didn't think we'd be where we are. And why is that? That should be studied. Like, what is it that's making us imagine our life to be very different to where it just naturally has turned out at the age that we're at you know like I thought I'd be feeling like hmm I could be getting married any day soon I probably have a house probably a

couple of kids maybe like two three kids like are you actually okay like when I think of someone doing that I think 27 I'm young babe I'm young I'm kicking I'm young babe, I'm young. I'm kicking, I'm young. To be a whole wife to me, like when I see, there are people younger than me that are married yeah, and if I meet someone and they're like my husband, I'm like wow. You are like mature, you're a mature wife. She's a whole wife, you're a whole wife. And I don't know, I just, I don't know whether that's because I spent so many years of my life studying like theatre and stuff that maybe it held me back in terms of like settling down. In fact it probably most definitely did because if anyone studies musical theatre or has

studied or is studying it or in it in the industry, you know that like your life is just chaos while you're trying to make that happen. Like you're scraping it by, trying to live in London, going to auditions every fucking other day, like however often you can get in the bloody door and you dedicate your whole life to it, that you make so many sacrifices financially, so life, your whole life to it that you make so many sacrifices financially, your relationships, do you know what I mean? Like you can't, well most of the time, you can't afford to buy a house and invest in your first property and settle down and have children because you're spending your whole life every day trying to get this career right? So I do wonder if that's what not slowed me down because like I said, like I'm happy,

like and I'm definitely not mentally at an age where I'm ready for that. So yeah, it's like, why do I feel like I would have been there? I'm so okay with the fact that I'm not yet, but what made me decide that by this age I would be somewhere so different, you know? Strange.

Okay, so then we have 14% saying exactly where I imagined, which is crazy to me. I cannot imagine picture in my life at 27 years old and just getting it bang on. Yeah, I thought I'd have like two kids, the house, maybe a little dog, and then I look around, I'm like, look like two kids, the house, maybe a little dog. And then I look around and I'm like, look at this. I did it.

I have everything I imagined. Like I can't imagine that, but I'm so happy for you that you have it. I just can't imagine what that would feel like. You must feel so fulfilled. That's really quite beautiful. And then I put better, not gonna lie, and we have 16% on that one which is truly just gorgeous and I think that's amazing. Like you imagined where you might be and you're at a point in your life where you're like I didn't even think it could be this good. Like how amazing

is that? Let's all aspire for that feeling which we will will all get. Okay. And I then asked, do you feel anxiety about your future? So obviously this episode is focusing on being in our 20s, which as I said at the beginning of this episode, I feel like our 20s is all about the future, the future, the future, the future. 94%, a whopping 94% have said yes. 6% have said no and I feel like that's so low and it makes me so sad but yeah I'm up there with the 94%. I can't imagine just like your future just being like, whatever, we'll just see what

happens. What a free way to live and I've actually met people like you I've met people where they are just so chill they don't feel anxiety at all they've never felt a second of anxiety in their life. I've met you guys it's fucking amazing it's insane your company is the best. Like you people that just don't feel anxiety about the future, like you're just so laid back, like you're just like yeah like life's just good, like let's just have a great time. Like what free way to feel and what did you get growing up that I missed because how come I get all the anxiety and you just get to chill.

Do you know what I mean? Well, 94% of us are in the same boat of like, I don't know what I'm doing. And that's okay, you know? Next question. Do you feel financial pressure? I had a DM and an email from a couple of you guys asking me to discuss finances at our

age and the pressures of it, the stresses of it, the debt, the mistakes, the regrets, do you know what I mean, the bad decisions, blah blah blah. So I thought, how can I word this question? And I feel like financial pressure is just a great way to summarize And I feel like financial pressure is just a great way to summarize all the different ways that money and finances can have an effect on us at this age because it just, I do think it all comes down to pressure. Like if you've made mistakes and you've got yourself in debt when you were younger or even now, it's like that's just because the reason that feels so stressful is because of pressure because you're like how the fuck am I gonna figure this out? How the hell am I gonna get out of this blah blah? So yeah

92% have said yes and 8% have said no I I Don't understand How we're supposed to get away from this, because at the end of the day, we do need to fucking figure our shit out, because we have to find a way to have that security in our life, do you know what I mean?

So it's like that constant stress of like, how am I gonna do this, how am I gonna do this, how am I gonna do this? And then especially when we're younger, like I went to uni, I walked into the bank and they said, do you want interest free overdraft? I said, yes. I said, he said, how much?

I said, max it out. Give me the most you can give me. And I just spent it on shopping, I spent it on clothes. Because as an 18 year old, someone just went free money, free money, and I was like, thank you. Thank you. Thank you and it's like You're not explained enough when you're young of like how this is gonna impact you later on and you're gonna have to try and undo that so Yeah, I feel like our 20s is like, I saw this amazing TikTok from the same woman talking

about the stress of your 20s. And she was like, you're just spending it recovering the fucking debt you got yourself into when you were young and didn't have a clue what you were doing. And nothing matters when you're young. So the thought of like getting yourself in debt or spending all your money at uni or like buying a car that you probably couldn't afford, like whatever it is that you've spent your money on. Now you're older and you're like oh great thanks a lot 18 year old me do you know what I mean now I've got to figure that out. So yeah and she was basically just saying like that's normal it's normal to be like figuring it out and undoing things and righting your wrongs and whatever, like paying off

your debt or paying off your student loan or whatever it is, it's normal. And there's so many people that are in the same position. And yeah, of course there are people that are like 21 with a mortgage. But then there are people like me who are 27 and don't have a mortgage and that's so fine and it's normal. So Yeah, I feel like that is a nice thing to acknowledge because it's definitely taboo. No one likes to talk about money No one likes to talk about I Don't even know just finances. No one likes to talk about it It's taboo, but it's something that we're all dealing with some we're all trying to figure out like we're also we all spend and Try and make money every single day. Do you know what I mean?

So why is it taboo? Who fucking knows, but it is bloody stressful. And that's okay, because we're in our twenties and who fucking cares, we're figuring it out, we're living. And I do think we should all just try, I don't know how, if you figure it out, let me know, just try and enjoy things more. I think that's something I'm setting as my goal from this new age is like I'm just gonna try and enjoy

my life. I don't mean financially, I'm not like I'm just gonna fucking spend all my money and go on holiday, I don't mean that, although it sounds nice. I mean, I'm just gonna try and stress less and worry less and enjoy more and be more present and be more in the today like one of you guys said because everything just fucking works out. Do you know what I mean? Everything will just work out and everything's just gonna be fine.

And we're all just figuring this out together. We're all making mistakes. We're all learning. We're all meeting people this out together. We're all making mistakes. We're all learning. We're all meeting people and saying goodbye to people and starting new jobs and leaving old jobs and deciding one day, I wanna go down this route. Hey, I've just had an idea that I wanna pursue. I wanna start a business.

This is the age where we're just winging it. Most of us, we're just winging it. We're just figuring it out and no one knows what the fuck they're doing. And if they say they doinging it. Most of us. We're just winging it, we're just figuring it out and no one knows what the fuck they're doing and if they say they do they're full of shit. Like you're just lying, you're literally lying. So yeah I hope this episode brought some comfort to you guys. I definitely enjoyed it. I feel like it's really nice. You guys know me like I like to just have these real conversations like I'm just myself with you, I'm just me, and I know you guys don't judge me, I would never judge any of you, and if there's one thing I want this podcast to do is to make people feel understood

and make people feel seen and heard and important, because you are. And whatever it is that you're struggling with, whatever feels heavy for you right now, I love you, I think you are and whatever is that you're struggling with, whatever feels heavy for you right now, I love you. I think you are amazing. I think you're doing amazing. I think you should all be so proud of yourselves and life is just life in and we're just living and we're figuring it out and I don't think, because like you know how we're saying like I'm just waiting for life to start, I'm just waiting for life to start, like just waiting for life to start like I don't think this worry thing ever ends like I think we just learn to accept more I think that's the difference it's like it's a skill to just get to a point where you're like well oh well

that's one thing that I always learn from my auntie and my mum like they always say like oh well do you know what I mean like that's literally like the catchphrase of my family like never mind Oh well, do you know what I mean? Like that's literally like the catchphrase of my family like never mind. They always go, oh never mind, never mind. Like even if you, you could buy, my mum's just been gifted her dream vase. Yeah, she absolutely loves it. It means the world to her. I could knock off the table and smash it to bits and she go, nevermind, nevermind. Oh well. Whoops. Do you know what I mean? And that is, that is a great um, what's the word? I don't know. Fucking hell. What's the word? What's the word? I'm lacking brain cells clearly since I hit 27. Um, but it's a great summary of the way I was brought up, considering I worry a lot. You wouldn't think that, but it does definitely help, like, when I'm stressed and I'm such

a panicker, like I'm like freaking out, freaking out, freaking out, freaking out, I'll go to my mum and she's just like, oh well. Same as with my auntie. Never mind. Never mind. Like, I always stay at my auntie's when I go to events, right? And obviously I'm stressing, I'm worried, I'm freaking out, I'm like thinking of all the things that could go wrong and she's

just like you'll be alright. That is their mentality. You'll be alright. Oh well, you'll be alright. And the casualness of it is actually really helpful. To some people that might be like oh yeah great thanks that's really helpful. You'll be alright. Cheers Thanks. I genuinely find that so helpful because it's almost like shutting up all your thoughts that just like ping-ponging in your head back and forth. What could go wrong? What could go wrong? And For someone to just be like you'll be alright I think it's a really nice way to think and I do that all the time. I do try and remind myself like oh You'll be alright. Just shut up Leah, you'll be right. So there's one thing I want you guys to take

away from this is take my mum and my aunties advice say never mind when things go wrong never mind or oh well and if you're stressing oh my god oh my god what if this happens you'll be alright and one thing that always gets me through things is I go no matter what happens I'm gonna be in my bed at the end of the day and I'm gonna be safe in my safe space You know like because I used to find your first day at work really stressful Like you know when you start a new job when you go to a new job is like oh my god I'm freaking out the anxiety's like through the roof. I've got to be there for eight hours What if I have a panic attack blah blah blah. I was just go no matter how bad this is no matter how hard my day is

It's gonna be over and I'm gonna be in my bed You know like if you've got an interview whether it's an interview a new job your first day at your new degree You're you meeting someone for the first time no matter how this goes. It's gonna be over Don't mean it's gonna be over eventually just look forward to that So yeah, I love you guys so much. I hope you all have an amazing week I miss you already can't speak to you on Tuesday. I've really I've really struggled today I don't know what's wrong with me to be fair. I'm doing this podcast episode a little bit later than normal. No, oh My god, seriously, I need to shut up. I can't go this must have been hell to listen to

I'm doing it later than normal so maybe that's why I'm a little bit drowsy but yeah I hope you guys all have an amazing week. I love you guys so much. Thank you for being here with me today. Thank you for listening. If you listened to the end, comment on my latest Instagram post, the birthday post, with a little heart hands emoji. Love you guys so much. You're the best. Have an amazing week. And I'll speak to you on Tuesday for a brand new episode.

Alright, I love you. Bye!