Leah on the Line - 12: Is your gut always right & faking orgasms with your bf for 5 years...

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

Hey huns. Omg what a nightmare I had with this episode. So sorry it was so short! I hope you loved it regardless. What an interesting debate today though right?! There was only one dilemma sadly but I really think it's an amazing one and one that a lot of you might be able to relate to. Let me know your thoughts on this weeks ep! Thank you so much for your continued love and support, you're so amazing. As always send in your thoughts/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic? Not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer.

Hello. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to Leah on the Line. It's another episode. It's Tuesday. Sorry I missed another bonus episode, but hey, listen, they're called bonus for a reason, okay? Bonus, it's extra content, as in, I do not have the fucking time right now. I've started a new job. I'm still working at the first pub that we all went on the journey together of me getting, but I've started a second job so I'm doing two jobs well two in-person jobs plus this plus TikTok do you count TikTok as a job a bit embarrassing to say that let's not say that plus acting also embarrassing to call that a job right now because I can't get a fucking job a role in a single show had an audition on Saturday wasn't too bad actually

but definitely not confident that I'm gonna get the job it I heard a girl before me and she was fucking sensational I was like brilliant can't wait to follow that up um that was that was fun it was it wasn't a major shit show but it wasn't my best audition but hey they're not gonna be are they you learn the most from your worst auditions that's what I say do you know after every audition I write down in my notes what I learned I didn't do that from last week what did I learn I learned to do extra material if you think that they might ask for both scripts learn both because they asked for both and I only learned one whoops so that's what I learned that was a lesson of the week um new job it's going it's going better now when I first started I was like I fucking hate this I don't want to do it I literally had to have a chat with my manager and I was like this job is making me miserable like it's been four

days and I have cried at least 17 times like I'm not cut out for this shit and then she was like look it's not going to be like this we've just opened like it's brand new give it a chance if you're completely unhappy with it sack it off and our friendship will not be harmed and I was like okay so yeah I feel I'm better about that now how are you what's been going on I feel like I can't speak to you in ages I've missed you so much honestly after such a shit week all I want to do is just sit and talk to you how's it been how have you been have you felt do you think about me when when we don't speak before we have our weekly catch-ups do you think about me I feel like you do because I get messages throughout the week and they honestly just make my day I don't reply to everyone and I'm actually

really sorry if you've ever messaged me and I haven't replied like I'm I'm not a major oh god I was gonna say the see you next Tuesday word which I'm not gonna lie in everyday life I say quite frequently it's okay it's it's a word in my vocabulary I'm not gonna lie I was brought up by cockney parents what can I say um but I won't say it on here that's an agreement I've made with myself that a lot of people find that word very offensive it's just like whoa such an aggressive swear word but, it's just, it's part of my everyday vocabulary. I'm not going to lie. But anyway, yeah, I've just wanted to talk to you guys.

And sorry if I don't reply. Like I said, I'm not a massive see you next Tuesday. But when I tell you I've had the busiest week, I've worked Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. It's Monday. This is going live tomorrow. Again, filming last minute. Ugh, I hate myself. No, I don't.

I love myself do you know what i've had an awakening recently remember like in the last few episodes or just every episode i'm always like i hated being a teenager like my childhood was so shit like my friendships were shit life was just shit when i was a teenager well i've had a realization that it actually wasn't like i am so lucky to have had the life that I've had do you know what I mean like I've always been such a whinger I was like I hated being a teenager and I had this realization I was like oh my god like I am so lucky and fortunate for the life that I've had you know like I don't know I think I've always been such a negative Nelly about my teenage years and

some people didn't even make it through the teenage years some people weren't even lucky enough to have life at my age and sorry to get really deep and sad but oh my god I've just had an awakening like Leah show a bit of fucking gratitude will you like your life's been amazing I'm so lucky and grateful. And I'm really glad I've had this realisation. So I take back all the negative things I said about my life in the past. Like, I hated being a teenager. I hated school.

I was so lucky to even go to school. Anyway, pick me, pick me. That's not what I'm trying to do. I wanted to share that gratitude with you. Hopefully it rubs off if you're feeling how I've been feeling recently of just like negative let's be positive do you mean how lucky are we how lucky are we like if you if you're listening to this right now we have hearing that is a luxury like we're so lucky do you know I mean I'm so lucky and I don't want to jinx it like I'm I'm touching wood, but it's not wood, it's the wall,

what can I touch, is plant close enough, do you know what I mean, the plant, um, I don't know what to call that, like a stem, what's that called, like the bark of a plant, what the fuck is that called, oh my god, I'm stupid, but anyway, touching wood that I remain grateful I mean sorry I remain lucky and fortunate because wow I'm one lucky girl anyway god what a boring introduction to the week how are you happy Tuesday actually I actually want to know how you are send me a message right now let me know how your weekend was um also speaking of send me a message send me a message if you don't mind taking the time out of your day to pop me a message send me a message and let me know what you like about this podcast what you want more of um look I was gonna say what you don't like about it but as we all know I'm very sensitive and if one person tells me you don't like a single one single section of the podcast

I just will delete all the episodes like I just will delete my account on on a cast and give up my podcasting career so um sensitive soul can't take criticism not great coming from an actress but fuck it do you know what I mean can't help it I am who I am so yeah send me what you do like just you know like just suck me off for a minute everyone just tell me how much you love me. That's not what I mean. I just want to know like what parts of the podcast are really helpful to you? What puts you in a good mood?

What do you actually find helpful or comforting? Because I've had so many lovely girls message me saying how much the taboo section, taboo topic section from, was it last week or the week before? I think it was the week before. Was it last week? I think it was the week before was it last week I think it was a week before I can't remember shut up um how much it helped you and how much you would appreciate it so I love that so we'll definitely do more taboo um sections probably not every week because we'll run out of things to talk about you know what I mean but um yeah just let me know what's working don't let me know what isn't working. Such a narcissist. I'm not a narcissist. I'm just really sensitive and can't take criticism. Is that a narcissist? No,

that's obviously not a narcissist. That's just very fucking emotionally fragile. But I am. And I'm proud. I like being a sensitive person. I'm an empathetic, god, hello. I'm an empathetic, empathetic cod hello i'm an empathetic sensitive soul and i'm okay with it so let's stop talking about boring things let's get into the weekly debate girlies and boys so weekly debate this week is is your gut feeling always right in friendships slash relationships. Now, you are probably all, mostly all on the same page with this response. Let's go ahead and just read out what you girlies have been saying. First one is yes, yes, yes. So she's like, yes, my gut tells me this. I'm listening to her. She's correct. She's giving me correct information. Okay. okay yes don't convince yourself you're just overthinking so oh my god I've got a really bad habit I have to keep cutting

it out where I keep saying your names I actually said it in an episode once and I didn't even realize and edit and I listened to it back so I always edit my podcast but I never really listened to it like I was just I know where I I left a gap so I go back and cut that gap out but I never really listened to it, like, I was just, I know where I, I left a gap, so I go back and cut that gap out, but I don't really listen to it, and then I listen to it once it's live, just to double check I didn't leave anything major in there that shouldn't be in there, but I left somebody to name it, luckily it wasn't, like, a big secret dilemma, like, it actually didn't really matter, but fucking idiotly, I'm so sorry to the girl if she noticed i bet she was like this bitch she's definitely one of my one-star ratings anyway anyway stop crying about the ratings leah okay like i said can't take sick

i think i'm just rubbing my mouth can't take criticism can't take it it's not for me it's just not for me all right um yeah so you're saying listen you're not overthinking it's not for me all right um yeah so you're saying listen you're not overthinking it's not it's not your brain playing tricks on you this is your gut going yeah babe this girl ain't right or this boy he's lying to you you're saying don't don't convince yourself you're thinking it's true hon um no not always i found my overthinking and anxiety overtopped my gut feeling overtopped is that a thing i don't know it doesn't make sense to me but i'm quite dumb when it comes to words as we figure out since podcasting um yeah agree with you to be honest okay some more um i found out it is i tried to ignore it in the past but it always turned out

to be right oh if you're really open with your friend or partner then probably not but if they're secretive then yes trust yes 100 if you feel like something's off nine times out of ten it's always right yes yes yes always in capitals um mostly yes but sometimes past experiences can make trust issues feel like bad gut feelings okay yeah i'm with you there um i would say no as long as you aren't basing it off of worry of a deja vu situation okay um yes but i think i subsequent subs i'm actually so annoyed like there's something wrong with my brain. It just, I can't function normally. To be fair, I've had a long week. What am I talking about? This happens every week. Shut up Leah. Just get on with it. I'm going to get on with it. She says, yes, but I think I subconch.

She's put subconch, which really threw me off. Obviously she means subconsciously, but it threw me off the abbreviation. Yes, but I think subconsciously I it threw me off the the abbreviation yes but i think subconsciously i ignore it in friendships as i don't like confrontation oh that's such a good point yeah you're like oh it's ain't no right about this girl but i'm not gonna fucking do anything about it because i don't want to row um i really struggle to tell with this i'm massively anxious and paranoid and overthink so trying to disguise gut feeling from anxiety is so hard really really with you on that not all of the time sometimes it's just your overthinking making up a story in your head always even if it doesn't

seem right at the end time huh oh at the time it will always end up right in the end oh um 100% i had a gut feeling about a girl who my ex ended up cheating on me with. I hate that. It's always the ones I tell you not to worry about. Do you know what I mean? It always is. Every single time. Always, always, always trust your gut feeling. My gut feeling has always been right. Sad, but best to follow your gut. Yes, 100%. Yes, 1000%. Definitely. Always. It's never been wrong for me. Yes, even if you try to put it off, it usually is right and you need to follow your gut. Yes, whether you try to ignore it or not, it always seems to be right months or years later. 110% if the vibes are off, then the vibes are off. It's as simple as that. Yes, 100,000%. Wow. In friendships, I would say yes, but with relationships,

you can overthink too much. Yes, I had a feeling my ex was talking with his ex for our whole relationship and I ended up finding out from his ex after we had split up that they had been texting. Oh, that little fucker. I used to think so, but I've been off a bit recently. Do you know what? I'm with you on that. Almost said your name again. I'm with you on that. I actually always thought I had this like psychic power when it came to like other human beings. I was like, I just know everything about you just from looking into your eyes. I just know exactly what kind of fucking person you are. No, I don't. Like I actually don't. And recently I've really, everything I thought about somebody has been the opposite of the truth. Like I'll meet someone and

I'll be like, Oh God, like she just don't like me like I have vibes like we're just not gonna get on like we're just not gonna get on and then we get on so well and that's been my thing recently I always just feel like oh we ain't gonna get on and then we get on really well so I don't know if that's your gut instinct or just like your judgment on a person I feel like that's obviously different um but gut instinct I think as a lot of you touched on I'm really glad you did as I have actually mentioned this briefly previously um about how if you've been through like past relationship traumas whether it be like cheating or you know if you have separation anxiety relationship anxiety anything along those lines you can convince yourself something is happening

that is completely made up so obviously anxiety you're literally just making up stories in your head like you're just you're literally making it up so like your boyfriend could go on a night out and he untexts you back for two hours right and you're going well he's obviously in the fucking corner snogging a girl like he obviously is he's obviously like got her against all of her legs wrapped around him do you know what I mean like that's it's obviously what's going on right now and my texts are buzzing in his back pocket and he's just he's just looking at it and ignoring me and then getting back to that girl's mouth snogging her face off and then he'll text you like oh hey babe just been uh chatting with the boys

getting in a cab now. And then somebody puts up a Snapchat story and they're genuinely just like sat in a pub. Do you know what I mean? Oh, I just fully made that whole thing up in my head. And that is not your gut feeling. Like that is genuinely anxiety. That is relationship anxiety, separation anxiety. Like whatever it is that we're going through.

Because I've definitely been there in my life. Oh my God, I've convinced myself of the most like mental things that make no sense. And you have no evidence to even believe this. And you bring it up to your partner and they're like, where did you get this information? Like, where did you manifest these thoughts from? Like, how did you get there? Do you know what I mean? And you're like, well, you didn't text me back for two hours. So it obviously meant that. Like, what else does it mean? We're just fucking lunatics sometimes. And when you're going through something like that, that is not your gut. Do you know what I mean? But sometimes when he hasn't texted you back for two hours sometimes you just know for some reason isn't that weird

um and you know like a few of you have said it's hard to differentiate between anxiety and gut feeling um and obviously I said last week that I have health anxiety right so my anxiety will be like oh I don't know there's there's like a weird lump in my body must be like fatal must mean that I'm going to die soon and then you think about and you're like what evidence do I have like what actual evidence do I have that this is true and you're making it up you're just making it up and I was listening to some health anxiety podcast just because I was going through a bit of a bad spiral and I needed the help and he said he said I was about to be like he said to me he said to his listeners learn to distrust your instinct so I think this is a really good point

when it comes to like anxiety in a relationship or friendships and feeling like your gut is telling you something's wrong it's really important that if you're somebody obviously if you're like if you don't have these issues and you do just you know function in a healthy way must be nice um obviously you know your gut is probably your gut whatever that's that's like a whole nother situation but I am I am talking about people with anxiety surrounding this idea it's really important I think this point that he made it really stuck with me of like learning to distrust your instinct of oh my god he's not texting me back or in my case like oh my god I've found something fishy around my body oh not fishy not fishy with my body my body's not fishy what i mean is like um a bit bit odd bit out of place something's up never gonna describe my body's fishy again

but my instinct is like oh danger panic this is really really bad um or if it's in a relationship it's like oh he's fucking somebody else right now his penis is inside another guy's mouth distrust these thoughts they're literally lies you're literally making up stories in your head um and that's the difficult thing that's why i really wanted to debate this because it's like is it always right my obviously i'm talking from my perspective it's not right for me trust me i can tell you a lot of times my gut has been wrong. But for a lot of you, it's been right. And I asked you to send me in some of your stories.

Now, I really hope if you're struggling with overthinking your relationship or friendships or whatever situation right now, and you're going, is it my gut, is it anxiety? I hope this doesn't, please, please know that this does not confirm that your gut feeling is right. Like, trust me, take what I just said a minute ago, distrust these thoughts. If you're having anxiety, if you have reoccurring thoughts like this, and you have a vicious cycle of tormenting yourself, this does not stand for you. Okay. We're different. Let me read out some of your responses. So I said, can you give me an example of when your gut feeling was right or when it was wrong because I want to hear both um let's have a look um oh guys had a

gut feeling about my boyfriend having only fans did your little tip and was right also guys we made it into the um was it the daily star I think fabulous magazine with the with the only fans hack because I put it on TikTok and it and it reached the audience like obviously you guys are my best friends you understand me you know when I'm joking I don't actually want you all to go and sign your boyfriends up to only fans let's let's try to have an open and honest conversation with him first and then you're welcome to go go ahead and do some investigation whatever but obviously I put the clip on TikTok and you get all these boys like oh my god no wonder girls are such psychos with people like you influencing them to behave like this I'm like babe and this one guy was like well you've just ended my relationship thanks I was like I don't know

if I ended your relationship hun I think you might have ended it so that was fun anyway back to the back to the thing so she was like I really feel like he's got only fans she did the test and she was right that is a great example of your gut feeling being right that is a gut feeling like I reckon he's lying about this I think he really is on only fans oh I'm sorry but also it's not my fault, it's his. You know what I mean? We hate him. No, we don't. We don't hate him. We like him. I hope you managed to work that out. Maybe it was like an old account. Maybe, hopefully he doesn't use it. I felt really sick and on edge the morning my ex broke up with me, even though it was out the blue. Oh my God, that's horrible. It's like your body was just like saying ain't right here,

saying ain't right. And then he was like, yeah babe, I don't want to be with you anymore. You're like, I knew it. Oh, I'm so sorry. That is so sad. My gut feeling was so, oh wait, sorry. There's another part to this. My ex went on a night out and I had a gut feeling something happened. He fully denied it, but my gut feeling was so strong. Then it came out a few months after we broke up that he cheated top top top my ex was just acting weird and i had an odd gut gut feeling turns out he was seeing his ex see you said he was acting weird so that i understand why your gut would be like something's going on here but sometimes your gut can just tell you something's wrong for no reason with no evidence and like no behavior to suggest that something's wrong do you know what i mean that's what that's what's freaking freaky

um my gut told me to go on his phone and look on his messages i did and found out he leaked my news to his brother-in-law what the fuck why would you want your brother-in-law to have news of your girlfriend? I find that behavior really bizarre. What a weirdo. Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic? Not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's virtual care has got your back with 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. Um, I didn't give him attention for a whole day. i was busy and he met and slept with his ex

i'm sorry but how desperately do you need attention that is sad well good riddance you know what i mean girl i had a friend who became very selfish and i got to the point where she was constantly disrespectful and pushing my boundaries so it had to end we'd been friends for seven years had a feeling my boyfriend was texting another girl went on his phone found them and confronted him oh how did you just get that feeling hideous um i've had an intuition before about an ex cheating and was right but also felt my husband was off once turns out it was him planning our proposal and hated hiding it from me oh at least you got your happy ending that is so sweet i mean fuck your ex but yay to the husband so he was like acting all shady and you're like what the fuck is wrong with you

and he's like nothing he was getting all stressed trying to hide the proposal. Aw. See, that was when her gut was wrong. We love that. We love to know when it's wrong sometimes. Paid for a cosmetic procedure on the way. I didn't want it done slash had a bad feeling. Didn't go as planned and caused me mental health slash depression. I knew I shouldn't have done it. I should have listened to my gut. I feel like I've got a situation like that where I knew something was telling me not to go somewhere and I went and something bad happened something along those lines I can't think of a specific situation but I really feel like that's happened to me before but a lot of the times a lot of the time if if I have a feeling where I'm like I really shouldn't go or like something bad's gonna happen I don't go that's just because I'm introverted socially at the moment at the moment all the time

um best friend of 15 years was sleeping with my boyfriend and they were both lying to me my gut feeling was telling me something was going on and I caught them in the act oh my god who would you punch in the face first do you know what i would love to be one of those girls i always have this conversation with people right let me know what you would do girls okay we've walked in the room you you've caught your boyfriend having sex someone doesn't have to be your best friend he's just cheating on you you've walked in the room do you just wow and leave and that is it you never say a word to him again he's trash he doesn't even deserve the reaction disgusting good riddance goodbye or are you ripping off the duvet who the fuck is she like i'm not gonna lie i don't know what i'll do I think I'm a rip off the duvet kind of bitch like I am I think I am

I don't think I'm ever gonna be highly enough to just be like huh wow your loss I'm out of here I wish I was that girl I wish oh my god to be that girl I think I just I definitely act on emotion, like, I'm such an, I definitely, I don't ever blow up, like, I never scream and shout, ever, like, I never argue with friends, if me and Jake ever argue, like, it's just, like, a bicker, and then we're not talking, or I think we've had, like, a few big arguments where, well, I've never shouted, I've never shouted I've never shouted I don't think like Jake or my ex I might be like you're fucking winding me up you are but I wouldn't be like you are a disgrace I would never say anything nasty I don't I don't get nasty and personal in arguments ever I think there's no need to lose self-control like that but I definitely

blow up in terms of I cry and I'm like I show my emotions and I want to sort things instantly like if there's if something's going on I want to talk about it now I want to talk about it ASAP I can't sit on my feelings and I should I definitely should like it's definitely a healthy thing to do to be like I'm not going to talk about this with you right now I'm going to take myself away process how I'm feeling think about how I want to deal with this and I'll be back that would that would be healthy I just cannot I have so much anxiety I want I want things to be over I just want the argument to be finished like if I've got if I feel like I've got an issue with a friend I just want to talk about it

I'm like let's talk about this I can't sleep at night it's stressing me out or like if there's something going on with me and Jake we have to talk about it then and there but then it's good because you the conflict resolution happens so quickly do you know what I mean you're like okay nip it in the bud love you so much it's never it's never big but because that's the thing you if you're one of those people that want to go away and think about it is it just brewing and brewing for a big blow-up or is it okay I've had some time to think and I was initially upset but I'm not upset anymore anyway I've gone so off topic how did I even get to this point oh we're talking about if you walked in on your partner cheating are you

like a blow-up you're a piece of shit or are you like a breakdown in tears how could you do this to me because I think that's what I'd be I think I'd like a breakdown in tears how could you do this to me because i think that's what i'd be i think i'll be a breakdown in tears how could you do this to me how could you do this to us or are you a you are disgusting you two deserve each other you make me sick i'm definitely a breakdown in tears how could you do this to me kind of girl let me know what you are anyway i think i'm going to wrap wrap up the weekly debate there because I've been chatting for a long time. Let's get in to some juicy dilemmas. Okay, this is an interesting one. It's called I am a liar. Do you know why? I actually have this thing. Oh, look at me making it all about me. I actually have this thing where I cannot lie. I'm incapable of lying. I cannot lie

to anyone. I can't even white lie. Like I cannot white lie. I'm incapable of lies. I don't know why they eat me up. Anyway, anyway, let me, let me go back to you. Okay. I'm a liar. Hey Leah, I'm finding myself too deep with lies to my partner who I love to death and I don't know how to ever get out of it. Please help. I first met my boyfriend who's actually my fiance now we hit it off straight away but he was always cooler than I'll ever be I always wanted to impress him I hadn't been with many people before him and if so was never that sexually active and had never orgasmed before during sex um oh only if I did it myself which i never did during sex okay so you've never had an orgasm with a partner i always felt too self-conscious and nervous to let loose and help

myself if you get me so when it came to having sex with him i just pretended like all the other times even though i enjoyed the sex um ever since five years later i still have never orgasmed during sex but i pretend i have i have two children with him i'm 28 years old and i've been lying to him about it for too long now to tell him i still don't touch myself or use toys during sex but he thinks he makes me come every time i feel so bad and worry that i will never properly orgasm or having sex and feel like a horrible person for pretending all this time love your podcast you should be so proud of yourself oh i love you so much thank you oh this is so sad because it's one of those things where it's you know like this is this is a minor example but you know like when you know somebody's told you their name like six times and you still can't remember

it but so you can't ask again it's like that it's like you've been with in five years you fake too many orgasms now to tell him it was all a lie do you know what i mean so have you ever orgasmed during oral sex and stuff like that or is it just sex that you're saying you have an orgasm with that's what i'm trying to figure out um let me have a reread i've still never orgasmed during sex but i pretend i have okay so if it is just during sex me neither hun I've never orgasmed during sex I always have my orgasms well really getting to know each other in the other stuff like oral sex or foreplay and stuff I've never had a orgasm during penetrative sex so if if it's just that you're not alone in that. Like it's actually a really small percentage of women that can orgasm from that alone. But if you're saying that you've never orgasmed with him at all in any area, yeah, that's really tricky.

But you know what? I think the reason you're probably scared to tell him probably a few obviously you're quite embarrassed about it um and also you don't want to embarrass him but you deserve to have good sex so I think we've got a few options here we could definitely just lay the cards on the table and say I'm really embarrassed about this um I'm really ashamed that I've lied and pretended but yeah I've never had a real orgasm with you or with anyone not just you babe let's not throw in his face that we've had sex for the people no one likes to hear that but you know you could you could take that route of I just want to be honest with you I love you so

much I love our relationship I love the family that we've built but this is the truth um and then you can have open conversations about how how how we can make this happen do you know what I mean like let's explore together let's let's find what works because he will want that like he will want you to have a real orgasm of course he will but I understand that would be really really a really difficult conversation to have and I'd understand if you didn't want to do that so maybe another route would be let's like you said you've did you say you've never used toys or you've never wanted to um I just pretend like all the other times where did you say about toys oh I still don't touch myself or use toys during sex okay so I would actually suggest um

using toys like I would say babe let's spice things up in the bedroom a bit. Buy one of those couple boxes of Love Honey. And they have like, look at me, expert. So it comes with a bullet, comes with a rampant rabbit style dildo. Listen, I don't have one of these, but I know the box. All right. It comes with, I think it comes with handcuffs. There's a few of them. And it will be like a lighthearted way to explore orgasming for you during sex. Um, you can use toys and have sex with him at the same time. And he's not going to feel like, you know, he can't do it. He's just going to feel like it's a bit naughty and you're you're doing it together and it's something different and it's sexy um but also you said that you didn't want to do it yourself didn't you um which I never did during sex yeah only if I did it myself which

I never did during sex I was always felt too self-conscious and nervous to let loose and help myself if you get me I think you should you should because you deserve good sex you should say to yourself right next time I have sex with my partner I'm gonna do it he'll find it sexy trust me he will find it sexy I know you've been together a long time and he'll probably be like oh this is new but new is sexy new is fun and I think you should try even if you do it for like 10 seconds and you're like oh god I'm embarrassed you might it might feel like a fantastic 10 seconds it turns into 20 do you know what I mean I think if you don't want to have the honest conversation maybe just try and do it in a way of less spicing up a bit yeah oh my god guys I could cry I might cry actually I've I've got a tear brewing this has happened

to me maybe 50% of my episodes where the whole time it wasn't recording or I sit there chatting for an hour and then I come to the fucking computer and it just died halfway through and that is just what's happened um I've only got a 34 minute episode and I I spoke for over an hour remember at the beginning when I was like I love my life I'm so positive yeah fuck everything I said I'm joking I am still being positive but I'm really sorry girls I don't have it in me to repeat I never want to do dilemmas again because I feel like the first response is my natural response. And then it always just feels rehearsed if I do it twice and it's really late and this has to go live in less than an hour.

So I fully just don't have the time to redo the second half of this episode. So I'm really, really sorry. It's's short i hope you can forgive me it's honestly not my fault i fucking hate this place i hate it i can't do it anymore oh my god i don't know what the the universe has against me in this podcast it's like is it a sign do you know i mean like is that a sign to say stop podcasting it's not for you because every time i do it something goes wrong with the technology and I have to record episodes all over again or I record one and then I fucking lost it and I've got to do it again or I've been cut off halfway through um oh my god I could cry but I'm not gonna cry because how lucky am I to be alive right now yeah I'm so sorry this episode was so

short I promise I will make the next episode long and I will try three times as hard to get a bonus episode out this week just because of that wow oh my god okay I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I didn't even really get to finish the dilemma but in whole um switch it up get some sex toys get the couple's box from love honey or have a honest conversation with him and i love you so much and you deserve great sex all of the girls here want you to have great sex and that's just the truth all right i'm so sorry oh so mad okay deep breath and we love out with the hate we're gonna gonna let all that frustration go, I'm gonna go and eat some food, and this is gonna be live on time, whether the universe wants it or not,

anyway, I will see you, hopefully on Friday, if not next week, for a new episode, you are the best, sorry again, it's so short, I love you so much, I love you. Bye.