Leah on the Line - 128: The weirdest fetishes you've heard & dealing with depression

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As a Fizz member, you can look forward to free data, big savings on plans, and having your unused data roll over to the following month, every month. At Fizz, you always get more for your money. Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply. Details at fizz.ca. We get it. Life gets busy. Luckily, with Peloton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave. Only have 10 minutes? Take a quick Peloton workout. Wanna go all out? Chase down your goals with 20 to 45 minute tread workouts. No matter your goals or time,

Peloton has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push, find your power. Peloton. Visit OnePeloton.ca. hiya hi hello guys hello hello hello the countdown is on for the new wicked movie'm so excited. I've just got to kick off with that. Listen, I'm a musical theatre fan and a massive Ariana fan. I fucking love Cynthia Erivo. My life has changed the day that I saw her sing I'm Here. Not in person, I wish. Not that lucky.

But I'm so excited. I've already booked my tickets. I'm gonna go watch it at the IMAX, because I'm gonna be in London, how sick is that? Me and my mum are gonna go to London, hang out with my auntie for a bit. And on the day of release, I'm gonna be in London, so that means I can go to an actual good cinema, because my local cinema is dogshit, like it genuinely hasn't been refurbed since the day I was born. And the one, I think we're gonna go to Greenwich I'm gonna go to the IMAX It's gonna be fucking heaven. I'm so excited popular. You're gonna be popular I'm fucking buzzing. Although I do feel like I've kind of already seen the film because they've let out enough teasers You know what I mean, but oh, I can't wait to discuss it. You guys know me, you know, I love a little review

How fun if you guys are gonna go watch it you need to me you know I love a little review how fun if you guys are gonna go watch it you need to go watch it on release day with me so we're on the same page you know I don't want I don't want to be spoiling it well I try not to anyway but I hope you're all doing really well happy Tuesday it's a beautiful day no it's not it's literally not it's winter and it's fucking cold but it's fine we're not gonna talk about the weather because I feel like you only talk about the weather because I feel like you only talk about the weather when there's nothing else to talk about.

Anyway, how are you guys? I do need some advice. So you guys know I've been struggling on and off of my skin and I'm like, I find products that really help and I feel like I've got the products that are helping. However, I can now knuckle it down to it is my PCOS because I was really worried that I damaged my skin barrier, that I was using way too many products, I was clogging my pores with makeup, blah blah blah. It has to be my PCOS because basically I've tried everything. Things are helping, like I'm using like a nice routine I've tried everything things are helping like I'm using like a nice routine and it is helping

but I Have spoken about before how I have it on my chest and my back and my shoulders and it's like my biggest insecurity And it's so fucking stupid because I there are worse problems to have than fucking spots You know I mean, but if you know, you know, like if you're someone that struggles It's so I think it's just the exhaustion of like just trying to understand it, trying to get rid of it, and then I look back through photos when I wasn't struggling and the thing is right, I went to a doctor recently because I was like, I just want to go see a dermatologist, maybe they can refer me, and I knew what he was going to say. He was like, let me get you on the pill, let me get you on the pill. And basically, I can't take the combination pill because I have a history of headaches and

migraines and that puts you at risk of stroke or something. So I can't have that. Which is so annoying because that is known to treat that quite well because it's something to do with like high testosterone, causes acne in PCOS women. So he was like, it's a real shame that you can't take the combination pill because that would genuinely help. And I was like, I think when I was on the mini pill, it's a real shame that you can't take the combination pill because that would genuinely help and I was like I think when I was on the mini pill It was a million times better because I genuinely had pretty fucking good skin and like I'm looking back at pictures And I'm like my skin was clear most of the time Apart from around my period like that week and I didn't mind that because I was like it's just my period like I don't

mind spots every now and then knowing that they were gonna go. And then about four months, four months after I came off the pill, and I came off the pill last April, about four months after that I really started to struggle and it's just been like this constant battle ever since. And like I said, I'm finding the products that help my skin texture, with dryness, over like too much oil production, like I'm finding all those products that are really helping my skin, but it's the fucking hormonal acne that no product is permanently helping. So now I'm just really stuck, I'm really struggling.

So I'm at the doctor's and he's trying to put me on this pill and I said like, is it possible that the mini pill helped because I'm pretty sure it was better and then he said no it's not possible and then I'm looking at I've done a lot of research and Google says it's it's not possible either like there's no there's nothing in the progestin only pill that would help acne if in fact one of the common side effects is that it actually causes acne so I'm like what how come it was better then? Like, it definitely was better. I used to always film skincare videos, I used to always film without makeup on and like, now that's such a difficult thing for me to do. Do you know what I mean? I feel so insecure filming without makeup now. So, I'm like, is that just a coincidence? Was it helping?

And I said like, I asked him, maybe because like the mini pill stopped my periods, it balanced my hormones where you know I'm not getting that high spike around my period, blah blah blah. Maybe that's what helped and he was just like, I don't know I was like, that's really helpful things. And then he said Oh, let me prescribe you antibiotics. And I was like, listen, I've done enough research. Okay, I know what I want and it's Roac-Ketane I know you can't prescribe it to me I know I need to see a dermatologist for that and he's like let's try this antibiotic and I said surely that's not gonna help with hormonal acne like an antibiotic it's not gonna help my hormones and he was like yeah no it does anyway I said okay whatever fine he said he'll still put me on the waiting list

for a dermatologist. On the NHS, that waiting list is actually a year long at the moment. And I was like, that's okay, I would really appreciate just a spot on the waiting list right now. And then he told me to go and take this antibiotic and the mini pill in the meantime.

And I've done so much research since the appointment and there isn't much evidence at all to say that an antibiotic acne treatment is effective with hormonal acne and more, that's more like inflammation and stuff. So now I'm like what I don't want to fucking bother with it, like I don't want to take it, like I just don't because I know that it can make it worse at the beginning and like I just, when you struggle with your skin you know that like having a bad moment with your skin can really affect you and I'm like I'm just trying to avoid everything I can that is going to make it worse, even if it's temporarily worse, I'm just trying to avoid it for something that isn't guaranteed to work.

Like if he said to me like this is very effective for hormonal acne, like it seems to be really good with patients like yourself, policies that go through, I would take it and accept that it's gonna spike up at the beginning and then get better. But because it's like everywhere's telling me that it doesn't really help hormonal acne, I'm like, why am I gonna put myself through this?

I felt like the mini pill made it better, but everywhere's pointing me to say that it doesn't make it better. So I'm oh do I want to go back on the pill? So I know I need to see a dermatologist so my question for you guys is has anybody been to see a private dermatologist? If so how much are you paying? Like how much are we looking at here? How much does a course of raracutane cost? How much do the appointments cost? How straightforward is it? Is it still really really difficult? Because I know for some reason raracutane is so hard to get your hands on, but I am determined to try it because like I said, I'm fixing all my other skin problems. Like

these products, I've really done some fucking research. I've tried a lot of products, I won't use fragrance unless it's like a wash off treatment or like really really gentle because I don't think fragrance actually makes my skin that much worse unless it's like high fragrance. Um, but yeah, like my texture's so much better, my like redness is better, stuff like that, but the hormonal spots just keep coming back. And I feel like Raracutane is genuinely my last try, you know? So I'm really looking for your advice to anybody that has been there because I know so many of you guys have and you guys come to me for advice all the time you know I'm always coming to you guys for advice, and I need you

I need your advice if you've been there if you are dermatologist if you've been to a dermatologist Please give me some advice. How do I do this? How much is it gonna set me back? Because I'm willing to pay I'm willing to pay a lot of fucking money at this point. It's really stressing me out, but Yeah, that is what's new. Um, not much else. I've been getting really bad headaches recently. Like, just constantly suffering with headaches again. Do you know, when I was at uni, I used to get headaches every single day to the point

where, if you made plans with me, like, oh, there's this really cool event on Saturday, like, do you wanna go you only go my response was always like I have to see if I've got a headache It was that frequent. I remember I had the worst migraine I've ever had in my life I was working a double shift at a place called walk and go I used to work in a noodle bar Loved the food hated the job, right? And I was halfway through and I got an hour break in between and I lived over the road so I used to go home on my hour break I was really struggling with this headache all morning and I was really really

struggling and my managed couldn't give a fuck right and the thing is I get it if you've never had a migraine you genuinely genuinely and I'm being serious you genuinely don't know how bad is you. You think you do, no you don't. You know if you've had a migraine because you feel like you would, there's no way you'll survive and you could possibly just pass away. That is how bad a migraine is. And do you know what annoys me? When someone's walking around like, oh I've got the worst migraine today. No you haven't, because you wouldn't even be able to tell me that. You wouldn't even be able to tell me that you wouldn't even be able to open your eyes If you had a migraine, I've got the worst migraine. No, you literally don't you literally don't

so anyway, I left from my shift and Went home for this hour break went straight to my room Shut my eyes in the pitch black shut the blinds put an eye mask over to get rid of the light and I didn't go Back in and then it hit me so bad. Like I had the worst migraine, I was being sick, I was crying so bad yeah, but the tension from crying was unbearable so I was just like trying so hard to relax my muscles and tears was just streaming down my face and I had the straightest face you've ever seen. It was so strange. But yeah honestly to any migraine sufferers, I feel that.

And I get headaches in my neck all the time. I need a good pillow. Do you know, I used to get a bad back all the time. This is no joke. The worst back ever. Like, every morning I'd wake up with a bad back. I got a new mattress. I got a mattress from Emma Sleep.

The best thing ever. I never ever ever get bad back anymore. I've just jinxed it. Watch me get the worst back pain for the next six months straight. No, but seriously, it's such a game changer and obviously it makes sense, doesn't it? Like get a new fucking mattress mate. If you wake up with a bad back, it's probably a fucking mattress mate. So yeah, I did that like two years ago, a year or two ago. Game changer. But it's my pillow. I've never found a good pillow and it's difficult, right, because I'm not a back sleeper, I'm not a front sleeper, and I'm not a side sleeper.

I'm like an on an angle sleeper, like I'm on my front, but my legs are, and my face, obviously my face is on my cheek, I'm not sleeping head first into a pillow. But I wake up on my back at the moment, and do you know what's weirder? I wake up on my back with both arms above my head and I have the worst pins and needles ever like I wake up and I'm numb as fuck. Why am I doing that in my sleep? Also guys I'm having the most vivid dreams, no I'm not pregnant. I've been having vivid dreams for months okay.

I was so convinced I was pregnant because everybody kept telling me like when I'd say I'll keep having really vivid dreams I was like you I was pregnant because everybody kept telling me like when I'd say I'll keep having really vivid dreams I was like, you're not pregnant are you because my sister's like biggest thing biggest symptom of her pregnancy every time was Really vivid dreams like she had it every single time and I was like fuck fuck fuck. It just came out of nowhere Listen to these dreams. Okay, I write them down because remember I went to see that psychic not too long ago He told me to start writing my dreams down because they're trying to tell me something or there's synchronicities or something like that. Anyway, these are my dreams. Me and Jamie were on the train to the airport, then realised we forgot our passports and then

realised Jamie left the suitcase on the platform. We cried for hours about missing our holiday and losing all the money and the suitcase and went home. And then my mum saved the day, she walked in with our suitcase and then in brackets I've had multiple dreams about being late for flights. I keep dreaming about being late for flights and let me tell you they're so stressful, I wake up with such a headache. My eyebrows, I'm going to be so wrinkly in the next two years because my eyebrows are scrunched together so tight where I'm frowning so bad I'm clenenching my jaw like squeezing grinding my teeth where I'm so stressed in my dream. Missing a flight is so stressful,

I've never missed a flight in real life touch word, but honestly I feel like I've basically experienced it because it's really fucking scary. And then my next dream. I kept taking pregnancy tests and I wasn't pregnant there was huge riots up the street No one was worried or bothered apart from me a small plane almost crashed into our window But he swerved and fell out the sky his friends put his body in a box and stabbed him in the neck I wasn't there. I don't know how this was in my dream. I've only ever dreamed from my point of view before weird Yeah, so you only dream from your point of view, right? This dream, I was in the box, it was like a coffin, right? I was in this box with this body, but underneath it, and I wasn't

physically in there, but my point of view, and was like a camera view, but it felt like a human view, was like underneath his body, and they were stabbing him in the neck and I was just there, but I wasn't there. What the fuck? Do you know what I mean? Okay, next dream. This is another night, I had two dreams. First dream, I was in, wait,

first dream was in two caravans in the middle of nowhere, just constantly stressed out about being lost and stuck in the middle of nowhere. The next dream, I was at a concert and went down on stage with Lydia Baylor's solo, Chincey's sister, right? Don't tell me why, to dance. We were like doing this dancing thing on the stage at a concert. And then the singer called me back at the end and he told me, not in a flirty way, just told me I want to take you to the

High School Musical 2 golf course and cook you a stir-fry. Right. So I'm writing these dreams down because the psychic told me to and what's the message? Because it's bizarre guys. It's so strange, so fucking weird. But yeah, I'm not like mentally having a good time. Like I'm so stressed. I get, I'm actually gonna develop insomnia because every time at bedtime I think, oh here we go. Like last night I had the weirdest dreams. So weird.

I won't even get into it because it's so boring hearing about someone's dream isn't it? I've told you enough of boring dreams. But yeah, like every night before I shut my eyes I think, oh here we fucking go. Like what the hell are you gonna come up with this time? And I'm dreaming so easily. Like I'll be on the sofa watching telly and I'll start drifting like you know when your eyes just start going maybe I've laid down with my head on the pillow and I'm awake. Like I'm still hearing the TV, but I'm dreaming. Eh? And I'm awake like I'm still hearing the TV, but I'm dreaming Yeah Do you know what I mean? Like what I'm dreaming and I can't control my dream. I can't wake myself up It's just when I wake up when I come back around like oh, I was falling asleep then I realized I had a full dream Then and I was still aware. I could tell you everything that just got said on the TV

dream then and I was still awake I could tell you everything that just got said on the TV. It's like I've got two brains and they're both working simultaneously and it's fucking me up. I'm like can one of you just take a break? Can you just chill the fuck out for a second? So yeah like mentally it's just like it's not good up there at the moment you guys. Like I'm just stressed and everything's chaotic. I honestly don't know what it is but whatever. Also my vision, I'm getting really panicky about my vision because like I just feel like it's very cloudy. But anyway this is just me offloading right now. I'm gonna shut the fuck up. We've got a really funny weekly debate for you guys. It's not really a weekly debate. It's actually more a question, again.

But I really wanted to hear it, so it's really funny. You guys are gonna love it. And let's get into the episode. Welcome to Leer on the Line. Join me every Tuesday as I dial your number for the ultimate unfiltered bestie catch up. Whatever it is, we will laugh together and guide each other along the way.

Head to learontheline.com and follow Leer on the Line on Instagram to get involved. Love you. Okay, everybody. So my question is, I'm so excited to read these. What is the weirdest or most unusual fetish someone has shared with you. Mm-hmm.

We haven't discussed this, I'm sure of it. And how, I do not know, but I am thrilled to get into this. So, let's have a look what we have. I was actually expecting some to be common, like some fetishes that came in to come in a few times. But scrolling through, they're all very unique. So let's have a little look. Okay.

What? A guy edited himself to be super tiny under my foot so it looked like I'm stomping on him? No, because that's actually a thing like what is it called when it's like belittling like that belittle porn belittle and fetish like a lot of especially men love it like I remember my friend Zoe shout out Zoe who has vanished with the face of the earth do you know what remember remember guys I told you that me and Zoe have the friendship where we like

disappear and then we're like what's that best thing like love you because like she was at drama school, I'm living in Somerset again, so like we went from seeing each other a lot to like hardly ever but our friendship still like till we die and we spoke recently and she was like sorry like I've been so rubbish like I've had a lot going on and I was like oh my god you never have to explain yourself to me like do not worry like I know I know the drill like we're like twins do you know what I mean and she was like right I promise you I'll message you in the morning like I promise we'll talk we'll talk tomorrow like I promise and I was like okay like love you haven't heard from us since this was this was

actually a few weeks ago now and I messaged her the next day like I'm actually crying about the fact that you didn't fucking message me But anyway the point I'm talking about Zoe is because Some I hope she's okay with me saying this I mean yes she'll be fine with it It doesn't it doesn't it doesn't really matter somebody messaged her like somebody she's never heard of in her life Asking her to like send her voice notes and stuff belittling him. She didn't do it But yeah, like people want that like Like it's a thing. People message you like, can you just like tell me I'm a piece of fucking shit? Do you know what I mean? So I feel like this guy editing himself to be super tiny under your foot,

that's what that's about. But like kind of crazy, like you want to be a tiny like a little borrower. Oi, that film, I hated that film. You know certain films I knew as a kid that actually fucked you up. Do you guys remember A Simple Wish? No, I've spoken about this before, I have, because people messaged me like, oh my god I hated that film as well. Yeah, that was so weird. Anyway.

One of my friend's boyfriends asked her to hoover his penis up with the Henry Hoover. Let me tell you, hoover fetishes are a thing. I've had somebody sending me this confession into the pod for weeks, months, maybe over a year straight. Obviously we don't do the confession diaries anymore so I haven't had a chance to read out but I've had I've had to read this same confession consistently for a long time and this girl sends in this confession about I can't remember if it's her or her partner that has a hoover fetish and they do it They love they love a bit of hoover sex So it is genuine thing. Is it specifically a Henry Hoover?

For your friend's boyfriend and if your boyfriend asked you to Hoover up his cock would you stay with him? We could debate next week Okay, oh here we go she followed up with another one they're still together now, ha ha ha ha you know what I guarantee She's Hoover in his cock. I Guarantee it. I'm so sure of it. She probably does biting their toenails What you bite in their probably does. Biting their toenails. What, you biting their toenails or them biting their toenails? Surely biting their own toenails isn't a fetish, like surely that's not turning you on biting your own toenails.

It's got to be you, not me saying it like I would understand. Surely it's you, because I would get that. I just can't understand how it's sexual if you're doing it to yourself. That's interesting. Okay, not here for that. Did you do it? Impregnation fetish. He said he wanted me to pretend I wanted his babies. No, I know about this I know this is a thing like yeah, I'm gonna fucking get you pregnant like that. That is a thing. I hear about that a lot. I Think it's because it's like it's a bit fucked like it's a bit like whoa do you know what I mean it's a bit like I think it comes down to you know people love the controlling like possession sex like

you're mine you're nothing but fucking doll you fucking bitch not me talking like I know it like yeah like you know that? I think it's like that. Like you're mine, I'm gonna fucking get you fucking pregnant mate. Why am I swearing so much today? But do you know what I mean? That is funny. Fur coats slash fur hoods. What the fuck?

So you're telling me when I'm out in a fur coat there's people looking at me like, fucking hell. Not me making it about me That's so crazy, I mean it's given like what's the fetish where you like attracted to animals That's so fucked up me Like that would be ringing alarm bells for me Do you know I mean is it because it reminds you of an animal if so? Like I felt I fear we may need to report you to the police, you know? His fave porn to watch is

glory holes. What's a glory hole? Is that a bumhole? If I google that am I gonna be in trouble? What is a glory hole? What is a glory hole? We get it. Life gets busy. Luckily, with Peloton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave. Only have 10 minutes? Take a quick Peloton workout. Want to go all out?

Chase down your goals with 20 to 45 minute Tread workouts. No matter your goals or time, Palaton has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push, find your power. Palaton. Visit OnePalaton.ca Is it a bumhole? My guess, my money's on bumhole. Oh, a hole in the wall. Oh, a hole in the wall? Oh! Oh, it's the thing where you have the hole in the wall and you put your cock through it. Why do I keep saying cock today?

Cock! It's a hole made in a wall where a man can insert their penis for sexual stimulation by anonymous by an anonymous person. Are you guys thinking of that thing that I'm thinking of? You know that that dad that yeah if you haven't seen it I'm gonna save you the horror of the story but if you know the story you you'll know exactly the story I'm talking about you can't forget it it's fucking howling. Wow okay oh is fave porn to watch? I didn't know that was a porn category. What on earth? Okay dress up as their ex-girlfriend we don't even have the same anatomy.

Being asked to dress up as someone's ex? Um... right! And you don't even have the same anatomy, like babe, I can't really do that. I can't really do that because I'm just lacking the vagina part. That's all. Also, I don't want'm just lacking the vagina part That's all Also, I don't want to do that like I'm sexy. Do you know what I mean? Am I am I not enough? That's insane. Is that a fetish or is that an obsession? scary

Hope you I hope you didn't entertain that feet. Yeah, okay classic I feel like feet is probably the most mild of all fetishes. We've all met someone with a foot fetish, do you know what I mean? What the fuck?! An ex wanted me to cut his pubes for him as it turned him on. Wow. I'm not cutting your fucking crusty pubes. Oh, I'm not cutting your fucking crusty pubes. Oh My god one of my old besties told me she watched grandma and granddad porn

She One of my old besties Wow old besties. Is that the reason you're no longer besties? Baby, I can't get on board with that. He wanted me to dress up as a schoolgirl and call him daddy. It was giving bye and blocked red flag. Yeah, it's sus. In it. When I'm crying, I'm starting to think you actually get turned on when I cry because you seem to continuously make me cry and you just love it That's so weird. I Asked my dad this. Wow. I love that relationship. I asked my dad this someone asked him to bite off their toenails and eat them. Oh

So toenail fetish is a thing Licking and pushing his tongue deep inside my ear hole How the hell did that come about? How did he figure that out? Just looking at your ears like, I want to stick my fucking tongue in there. And he did it and he was like, oh yes! Even better than I imagined. And were you okay with that? Like did he just, maybe it started with some neck kisses, you know sometimes you lick around the ear like and then all of a sudden it's like in the ear hole and you're like ahh! I have the ticklish neck like you know most people love some neck kisses, for me I start doing that thing where I'm like my neck disappears like my chin smacks into my shoulder and I'm

like nope it tickles me so much I wish it didn't because it's lovely I'm very sensual but just too sensual for me but anyway if if someone was kissing my neck and then they fucking went up to my ear and stuck their tongue in pushing his tongue deep inside so not just a little lick he's pushing his tongue deep inside that has got to be crusty listen I've heard that cleaning your ears with earbuds is not safe so I for one do not have ears you want to be licking. No. My ex wanted me wearing his glasses during the deed. I couldn't see probably for the best. You guys are so funny. I couldn't see

Why did he was it just because he wanted you to wear glasses like because I get that a lot of people find that sexy Like the librarian like sexy glasses like when I put my glass on Jamie's always like you look sexy But maybe because you didn't have glasses and maybe he did so he's like you can you wear my glasses and then he's like Oh sexy little librarian like like sexy nerd like But you can't see shit You think you're sucking him off and he's like that's my that's my balls Okay, let's do one more okay, this is a great one to finish on my ex had an obsession with my bumhole We both agreed he had a bumhole fetish. See it just couldn't, it just wouldn't be a thing for me like it's just a no-go zone guys.

Fetish my bumhole. Was it like he like looking at it like you know like doggy like he like seeing the bumhole or is it like I want to lick their butthole lick their booty hole cuz no baby that's crazy I love that though you both agreed he's an ex now so I wonder whose bumhole he's licking these days great one I love this question of the week guys so fun. We need to do these fun ones more often. Send them in, send them any ideas that you have that you think would be a good laugh because it's always fun.

Do you know what, it's a good thing that we've had a funny question of the week because the dilemmas that I picked out today are a little bit, not heavy, like there's no heavy topics to it but they are, a couple of them are about like feeling low and stuff. So, if that is you, this might be a good episode for you, but yes, it's been good to start off with a good laugh and let's get into some dilemmas. Okay, everybody. Okay, you know what?

I don't do the Aussie accent anymore and I kind of miss it. I feel like I needed a good break from it. I'm a little rusty. I'm not gonna lie, lie, I'm a little rusty, but I can practice, it's gonna be fine. Shout out to all my Aussie listeners, how you going? I do love the Aussie accent.

Do you know what accent I really wanna nail? Irish. And word on the street is more as going into I'm a celeb. So hopefully I'll get it down by the end of this season. All right guys, so let's start with this dilemma. Hi Leah, I hope you're doing well. I've been a listener since day one and I've watched you flourish on this journey. Oh my God, that's the most amazing. I've been a listener since day one and have watched you flourish on this journey

I love you. Thank you for being here for so long Your energy is so magnetic and your personality is so bubbly. I just want to know how you do it Do you think I'm bubbly? I didn't know I had that energy about me. That's lovely. Thank you What did you have to do to get to this stage? How do you achieve real happiness? Recently, I've been struggling with being happy. My job is stressing me out and it's not where I wanna be and I feel like my relationship is falling apart. It's one of those where I'm not happy

but then I feel like I can't end it. How do I take care of myself to be happy? And what is a healthy relationship meant to look like? Like I'm always so confused on whether I'm actually seeing my boyfriend as we don't plan to see each other near as much as we used to. He said he doesn't see a problem but it makes me feel confused and when I try and talk to him I just feel disconnected. The thing is Leah, the relationship used to be perfect, everything I've ever dreamed of. I'm just really struggling and could use you as a friend

How do I feel comfortable in myself? How do I regain happiness? And how much should you actually rely on your partner? Thank you Love you. Oh, I love you so much Okay, so it could be a few things right? So obviously you're saying about your relationship, but you also mentioned about your job It's stressing you out and it's not where you want to be And you feel like your relationships falling apart mentioned about your job is stressing you out and it's not where you want to be and you feel like your relationship's falling apart. You're not happy but then you feel like you can't end it. I think you need to ask yourself why you feel like you can't end it. Did you say how long you've been together? No, I don't think so. So sometimes we just

hold on because have you ever seen that meme? It's not a meme, it's like a picture. And somebody is holding on to rope and the rope is so thin, like it's about to snap and their hand is like red raw, like they're bleeding, they're holding on to this rope so tight. And then they let go of the rope and their hand is like fresh and healed and good, right? And the message is like sometimes holding on does more damage than good.

So it could be a case of that. You also know, if you've been innocent since day one, babe, then you know, I'm a firm believer of, you know, the power of manifestation, the power of the universe, what's meant for you, blah, blah, blah. And I have seen in my own life as well, that sometimes when you let go of one thing, whether it's a relationship, somewhere you're living, a job, a friendship, whatever it is, when

you let go of something, the universe rewards you in so many ways. Like when I was in a position where I was like exactly like you My career like I was just coming to terms with the fact that I wasn't where I wanted to be in my musical theatre career I was falling out of love with it. I didn't feel as passionate about it I felt like other people deserved it more than me because I didn't I didn't care like I used to I Was really miserable. I didn't see a future. I didn't I didn't I couldn't even imagine where I was gonna end up I was like I'm fucking 24. I don't see a future, I didn't, I didn't, I couldn't even imagine where I was gonna end up. I was like, I'm fucking 24, I don't know what I'm doing, I've got no money, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm really miserable, my relationship's miserable, like I'm miserable. And then everything

changed in my life, the relationship ended, I left my job, I left where I was living, I moved back home and things started to work out for me and I feel like for me that was such a big wake up call of like I wasn't where I was supposed to be and there were so many signs that I needed to shift my energy, I needed to, basically there were so many signs that I wasn't aligned with where I'm supposed to be. And as soon as you make these choices, like for you, it might be ending your relationship, it might be quitting your job, things will just work out and things will just make sense and it's terrifying. So I'm just such a big believer in the fact that you need to let go of things for

things to work out better even if you don't see how, even if you can't imagine how. Like is your job stressing you out because you said it's not where I want to be, my job stressing me out and it's not where I want to be. Is it stressing you out because you're not where you want to be? So for me, like I said, it was about, oh, I'm not where I want to be in my musical theatre journey. Like I'm 24, I thought I would have had like a better role by now, blah, blah, blah. And that was causing me stress. Is it that? Is it where you're like, oh, I wanted to be further along in my career right now and I'm not there? Because sometimes it's because you're not in the right place and the universe

will send you signs and signs and signs that you need to leave a relationship you need to move you need to leave a job and we keep ignoring them we keep ignoring them but the second we do it things just fall into place and things just make sense and you're like oh my god all I had to do was that and things just make sense and you're like oh my god all I had to do was that and things have worked out so I truly believe it's so normal to have these feelings and be in this position I know I know I've been there I know so many people have been there I still get those feelings by the way it is also just a part of being in this really confusing age. But I also feel like sometimes we just have to take life by the horns and make big decisions that sometimes

they don't feel right, but deep down, it feels like you have no other choice. That's what I felt like. I was like, right, well, I have no choice. I'm just gonna have to move home. I have no choice. I was like, I'm going backwards in my life. I'm leaving the city.

I'm going back to fucking Somerset. Like, this is awful. And then I met Jamie. I'm so much happier here. Like, things have just worked out in a time where I felt like nothing was working out. So, I truly believe for you, and also you're saying like,

my relationship used to be perfect. Of course, like, unfortunately, when a relationship breaks down, And also you're saying like my relationship used to be perfect, of course. Like unfortunately when a relationship breaks down like most of the time it is a case of like it used to be this, it used to be that. Because obviously because we were in love and we fell in love and we developed this beautiful relationship because it was so good. Do you know what I mean? We would never have fallen in love with each other if it wasn't this beautiful thing at

the beginning. But sometimes when relationships fall apart, which they do and it is just part of life, no matter how heartbreaking it is, no matter how bad you don't want it to happen, sometimes they're just not right for you anymore. The universe is sending you a sign, like this isn't a relationship for you,

and we don't listen, and then nothing else is working out and nothing else is working out, and sometimes you just have to listen and things will start to work out. That's not me saying that this is the relationship holding you back and your relationship's wrong. It may not be a relationship, it could be your job, it could be something different in your life, but right now it sounds to me like you're not aligned with where you're supposed to be. So my advice to you is to focus inwards.

I don't know if you are into the whole like power of manifestation and law of attraction. I don't know if you are, but I really recommend just giving it a chance because you find so much peace and so much comfort in it. And aligning with your higher self is the most powerful feeling. Like I got so into tarot, all into my crystals, I had a pendulum that I would ask questions

to, I was journaling all the time, and I truly, truly would highly encourage you to just try it and just journal. And with your relationship, with your job, whatever it is, write down the pros and cons of staying and leaving. What does this relationship, how your job, whatever it is, write down the pros and cons of staying and leaving. What does this relationship, how does it make me happy? How does it make me unhappy? What do I want in a forever partner? And how many of these boxes does my relationship tick?

And same with your job, same with your friendships, whatever it is, and fall in love with yourself. Create vision boards and create Pinterest boards and think of your best version of yourself. What time does she wake up every day? What does she have for breakfast? What does she get dressed into? How does she talk to strangers? How does she talk to herself? How does she look at herself in the mirror and channel that person like I truly believe sometimes we are just our own worst enemy and we can just sit and dwell and it doesn't help and listen I'm terrible for it, I'm terrible for it. And you asked me like how do I, how did I get to

this position and I feel like what I have said has answered some of that. But I also want to say that I'm not always like in a good mood. Like I can be really, really low, like so down. My family, my boyfriend, they'll tell you that. I can get so down and just cry. But I was in a place about a year ago where I would wake up in the morning and I would stay in bed for so long and I was so depressed and I was so lost and I had no fucking clue. I couldn't see my future. I couldn't see it. So I just felt like something really bad was going to happen to me.

I was in the worst space I've been in a long time. When I took that break from the podcast, like the longest break I took, that I was in a terrible position mentally. And what I decided was, let me look at all the things I'm doing and what these things are having a negative impact on me and my mental health. And laying in bed was one of them. Consuming too much social media was another one. Negative self-talk, being overly critical on myself, comparison to others, rushing into my future that I wanted so badly but wasn't there yet. All these things that I was doing, I was like, they're all, they are all having a negative impact on me and they're arguably all the reason I'm in this position. So ever since, and I've stuck to this every single day since then, I will not have a lie in. I will get up and I will be fucking productive, even if it's the last thing I want to do. And I think one of the

things that I really need in my life now is good friendship. So I feel like that's definitely on my resolutions list for 2025. So I feel like you could benefit from that as well. Anybody that's in a negative headspace right now, write down all the things that you feel like are having a negative impact on you, and how in your control are they to change? For example, my laying in bed in the mornings, so easy for me to change. Mentally not easy, physically easy, you know. Laying in bed, when my alarm would go off, I'd get my phone and roll

over and I'd scroll and scroll and scroll and then I'd be on Instagram and then I'd be on the fucking explore page and all you see is these perfect girls and then I feel so low and I feel worse and then I'd go downstairs and I'd be picking myself apart in the mirror and I decided no fucking more of that shit. No more. And I'd think of my younger self and what she deserves and she doesn't deserve that so I'd wake up, my alarm'd go off and I'd get up and I'd wash my face with ice cold water every single day, I've done that since I was about 16, my alarm'd go off and I'd get up and I'd wash my face with ice cold water every single day I've done that since I was about 16 and

have my coffee and sit on the sofa without my phone watch a bit of loose women watch a bit this morning or read my book and What so I'd like just wake up and come around slowly peacefully in my own safe space that felt calm and protected. So yeah, I feel like all these little things are so important and I really recommend you try them. I love you. Okay, very similar one, but slightly different so I do want to face this as well. Hi Leah, OG listener here. Recently, thank you, I love you by the way.

Thank you. Recently I've been experiencing a deep feeling of sadness, emptiness, loneliness, loneliness, well that's a tongue twister, and numbness all at the same time. It kind of feels like heartbreak. For some context I've always been a shy anxious person but I've never had depression so I don't know what it feels like. However, the last four weeks I've been feeling really bad, to the point where it's seriously affecting my relationship. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly three years. Our relationship has always been so healthy, respectful, passionate and loving. I honestly couldn't have asked

for a more amazing partner. But ever since I've been feeling down, I haven't wanted to see him or be intimate with him. I even avoid kissing him. I've spoken to him about my feelings and naturally he feels that maybe I don't want to be with him anymore, or that I'm not attracted to him. But I know it's not that. I still love him so much and find him so attractive, but my libido has been really low ever since I've been feeling down. Anyway, long story short, I don't know what why this depression like feeling that I've had for four weeks is affecting my desire to be with or see my partner. Please help. I don't want my relationship to fall apart because of something like this. P.S. I absolutely love you in the podcast. You're the best friend

I never had. I hope I get to meet you someday. Oh, I love you. I would love to meet you. You're the bestest friend ever too Okay, so obviously this is it's kind of similar to the previous Salama. You're both feeling extremely lied, but your relationship You're in very different pages. Her one is she doesn't she feels like she wants to leave but she can't you you're like I love him. I and it's not him. I want to stay with him So that's why I felt like it was important to read both him. I want to stay with him. So that's why I felt like it was important to read both. I feel like you can take a lot of the same advice from the last one about like all these negative impacts, sorry all these negative habits and stuff that might be having an impact. Definitely have a look at those things. I would ask yourself are you, I'm interested

to know are you on the pill because like or any medication because depression can be a side effect to a lot of pills and stuff like that. Four weeks isn't a massively long time so I wouldn't be alarmed like this could just go away like it could just be your hormones have been a bit mental for the last four weeks because the thing is it sounds like it could also by the way I do want to preface this I'm not a doctor I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about so take everything I say with a pinch of salt. Hormones can affect you like you would never fucking believe. Your sex drive, your you know, like attraction, like all these things. Your mood, anxiety,

your motivation, your hormones can be crazy. your motivation, your your power. Peloton. Visit onepeloton.ca. So don't panic. Like it's been four weeks, which I know is a long time to feel consistently low. It's a very long time and that is really fucking hard. But I do want to say don't panic you know like it's not that long like don't don't worry it could just go away but also I would definitely go to a doctor about it because it might be worth looking into depression and some antidepressants because it could just be a hormonal imbalance that a doctor can help you with, you know,

and your happy hormones just need a little bit of a boost and boom you're you again and you're loving it and it's the best thing you ever did. Or I know a lot of people don't want to try that, which I also get, it could be worth talking to your doctor about and just getting on a waiting list for a bit of counselling and talking this through with somebody who actually knows what they're talking about and is a fucking expert because trust me we are not expected to Understand how to navigate our brains people have studied this in degrees and masters and they are the people that know how to help We don't we have never studied psychology You know, we don't I don't fucking understand my mental health and my brain

I don't know what's going on up there, but they do because they studied it You know they can help and I know a lot of people find that really taboo and stuff. That's crazy! How is that taboo? Like you would go to your doctor if you had a problem with your foot or if you had a problem with your blood pressure. You'd go to a doctor. It's no different. Your mental health is still your health. It's still a health problem that we need a health expert with because we do not understand. We are not trained. We do not understand that. You know, just like we aren't trained how to fix a broken arm, they are, you know, so yeah, don't be afraid to go to a doctor about it, that's my second piece of advice or third.

And also I feel like obviously you've expressed how you feel to your partner and like you said, naturally they're going to take it as like well Obviously it's a problem with us. Obviously it's a problem with me and you and you're saying no, no, it's not Listen, it might be it might be and maybe you don't want it to be and you're denying it It could be but also you could be right and it could be nothing to do with your partner So I would just try to not panic and not think what's going on with me. What's going on with me, what's wrong with me, what's wrong with me, what's wrong with me, what's wrong with me. Take one day at a time, do little things you can do, little things that are in your control that make you feel good. For me, that has been a game changing piece of advice for me.

One day at a time and what is in my control? What is making you feel worse? You know you said you're feeling sadness, emptiness, loneliness and numbness all at the same time and they're heavy heavy feelings. Is there someone in your life maybe because for me like I like being around my sister, I like being around the kids, my sister's kids. Sometimes it's too hard. Sometimes being around the kids actually makes me feel really lonely because like you're struggling mentally, but you have to put a front on. You have to put a face on for your kids and shout out to all the fucking parents out there because that is so hard.

But sometimes it's like everything I need and sometimes it really lifts me up. So maybe surround yourself with people that just make you feel really good. And even if it's just, oh, I had a really good couple of hours today, and then you went home and you felt low again, that's still okay. As long as you're taking these little steps, the bits are in your control for now, one day at a time. I think you will get there. You will come out the other side.

This is what you need to understand. You're not gonna feel like this for the rest of your life. More than likely, this is just a short little period of confusion, you're to understand. You're not going to feel like this for the rest of your life. Like more than likely this is just a short little period of confusion, you know, you're feeling low. We all know what you're feeling. We have all felt that. And maybe it's depression or maybe it's your hormones or maybe it's just a little fucking weird blip that you're going through and you're going to be alright. You might even be alright by the time you listen to this, you know. So yeah, I love you, I'm always here for you. Send me a message if you ever need a friend.

And yeah, you got this, you're incredible. Don't stress, don't panic, you're gonna be fine. I love you. Okay, let's do this one. Hi Leah, I had a friendship breakup with my group of friends a little over a year ago. I know I'm not ready yet to get out there. I have trust issues because of this friendship breakup. How can I navigate feeling like an outsider all the time

and only having my boyfriend as a friend? Love the pod." Thank you, I love you. So, um, I get this. Oh, I've just fucking deleted the message by accident, that's brilliant. I do get this, this is literally a case of... sometimes you can get so burned by friends that it leaves you like extremely withdrawn and you have this guard up and I get that you're saying like I don't feel ready to put myself out there with friends again because like it's giving you some serious trust issues and I really understand that but what I what I do want to say is try not to let it hold you back from friendships for too long because you then might end up with someone who you might end up as someone who doesn't trust anyone and doesn't want any fucking friends because they've all been shit and they've all been bad experiences

all been shit and they've all been bad experiences and yeah speaking from experience we've all made that mistake you know but equally I think it's fair that you might need to like heal from a bad burn of a friendship and that friendship breakup because we've spoken about this before friendship breakups can hurt like a bitch like sometimes worse than relationship breakups because they're your fucking ride or dies, do you know what I mean? And you said you've got trust issues now so it sounds like something seriously went down in that friendship. I think it's okay to not have friends. I don't have friends. Not really. Like, and I would like them, I would really like some, but what I'm saying is it's okay to be quite a solo person, at least for a bit, at least for a period in your life.

Like, you have your relationship, which is amazing and is incredible, and I'm very happy that you have that. And there is no shame in saying my boyfriend's my only friend. I did a TikTok recently about struggling with friendships. I cannot tell you the amount of comments saying that their boyfriend is their only friend. It is so common and I know there are so, there are hundreds of people listening right now and their only friend is their boyfriend.

Because as girls, I do think we can struggle, especially if we've had toxic friendships. Like I struggle, I know I struggle because I've had so many toxic friendships, especially if we've had toxic friendships. Like I struggle, I know I struggle because I've had so many toxic friendships, especially in school. So my boyfriend is like my best friend and all the girls listening that can relate, they've probably had bad experiences with friends as well.

I doubt there's many people with no friends that have never had a bad experience with them. So you're not alone in that and there's no shame in it. And if you can have the best laugh with your boyfriend and you get to do all the things you love with your boyfriend and you don't feel like you're missing out on certain experiences in life because you've got your boyfriend, there's no shame, you know. But I do also feel like friendships are so important. So whenever you do feel ready, I would offer your friendship to people again

because I do feel like it's a really important part of life and being a human and it would be sad to miss out on that from protection mode, you know, if that makes sense. So yeah, I just think there's no shame in it and I totally get it and there are so many people that can relate to you as well. I love you so much. Okay guys, kind of heavy in the dilemmas but I do also, like you guys know this podcast for me is always going to be your safe space, it's always going to be the place that I want you guys to know there's no judgement.

You can tell me anything, whether it's about your mental health, physical health, your sex drive, your friendships, your work, your jobs, your self-esteem, whatever it is, we can talk about anything, you know? Fetches, the fucking lot. Glory holes, bum holes, like no limits baby, alright? So when I was looking through the dilemmas I was like, oh a lot of these, like has has there been, like, a fucking, something in the moon recently? Because clearly a lot of us have struggled recently. And I didn't just wanna be like, oh, let's keep it light. Like, let's find something funny.

Like, I just thought, no, this is real life as well. And I know that would be helpful to the people that sent in those dilemmas, that you have helped a lot of people because so many people listening to this are probably feeling exactly what you're feeling as well. So I felt like regardless of how the energy might not be so uplifting in this episode,

it's also very important to discuss, you know? But again, please see a doctor. Do not just fucking listen to me because I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. Love you. Let's wrap up the episode. Please stay for the outro. I love you.

Okay, guys. How many of you have decorated for Christmas? I am going to do it when I get back from London. I've decided it's time. It is time. It is officially time. Listen, I've already started listening to my Christmas tunes. I have... What's your favourite Christmas song? I actually like the modern ones. I like

Santa Can't You Hear Me. I love Winter Things. I like a bit of Mistletoe. But I also love the classics, you know what I mean? I love the classics. I wish it could be Christmas every day. What's the Gavin and Stacey one when it's like, come on dickhead and he's in the car. Oh My god Gavin and Stacey How many days basically it is 36 days until Gavin and Stacey day Christmas smish-mosh until Gavin and Stacey day. Christmas shmish mush. It's Gavin and Stacey day and Eastender's Christmas special day. I'm loving Eastender's guys. I'm just fucking loving it. I love Eastender's. You guys know I love Eastender's.

What the hell's going on with Reese and Bianca though? No, not on my watch. Let Bianca out. I hate Reese, that little toad. That little rat. Also what happened to Sonja? She's behind bars. Save our Sonja. She's actually innocent. She does annoy me though, Sonja. She's got a bit bitchy recently, didn't she? Like, relax. Know what I mean? Anyway, fucking hell, I'm talking about your standards, what am I, 50? Alright, I love you guys, I hope you all have an amazing week and I'll speak to you on Tuesday for a brand new episode. Alright, I love you guys, I hope you all have an amazing week and I'll speak to you on Tuesday for a brand new episode. Alright, I love you, bye! We get it. Life gets busy. Luckily with Peloton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave.

Only have 10 minutes? Take a quick Peloton workout. Want to go all out? Chase down your goals with 20 to 45 minute tread workouts. No matter your goals or time, Peloton has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit OnePeloton.ca