Leah on the Line - 137: I cancelled my wedding because he cheated... should I go back?

Episode Date: February 18, 2025

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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that's a really great way of summing up how I visualise our episodes together. Do you know what I mean? Like I really just, that is the visual for me. I'm sat there and then you guys are just coming in the room one by one. And I'm like, just pull a chair over, pull a chair. And then once we're all in we shut the door and I lock it and then I turn around and I go, right, thank fuck for that, It's just us that is literally how these episodes visually feel to me. But anyway How are you guys? It is the love Island final tonight Wow, this series is actually kicking clean off in it. Like it's actually gone. It's actually gone off a little bit like Liv went in last night and dropped the bomb about Grayson in that text. Listen, I Do not believe for a second that Liv would make that up Liv went in last night and dropped the bomb about Gray sending that text. Listen, I do

not believe for a second that Liv would make that up, okay? I've met Liv and she's one of the nicest, friendliest people I've ever met and she, I believe somebody's shown her that message. However real that message is, let me tell you, okay, I've dipped my foot in the influencer, islander, TikToker world very briefly. Okay, I'm a tiny, tiny goldfish in an ocean. Okay? But let me tell you, they all know each other. They all talk about each other.

Not bitching, but like sometimes, sometimes it's gossip, you know. It's a very big small world okay and I know for a fact that all that would have happened is Liv needs to be at one event or in one bloody conversation with an ex-islander or a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of Grace and they're like oh well she sent this text and then they show it to Liv and Liv's like I know exactly what the producers want and that is good TV which which they do and as the audience do we want good TV yes or no yeah the answer's yeah so Liv's like I got this like let me deliver the goods, like, if that is true and the message is real, like fair play, like, Lucas surely would want to know that, I don't know, personally. But

then also, like, Loki, you're all in there to win. Like, do me a favour, do you know what I mean? Like, especially when it's like, oh, is Casey in here for clout? We're all in here for clout, let's be real. Do you know what I mean? Like we're not here to keep it low-key, are we? Do you know what I mean? It's love island, babes. So yeah, it's like one of them topics that's like people tip-turn around it and lie about like, oh, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to win. That doesn't mean that you're not genuine and you don't really have feelings for Luca. Do you know what I mean? Maybe you were just willing to do whatever it takes to win and I wouldn't blame you. Do you know what I mean? It's a game like it's a game show

so Yeah, it's been a really good series so far. I've actually really enjoyed it I think this is probably the hardest love Island series to choose the winner I feel like it's a really, it's the hardest one for me to call it. I would like to see Casey and Gabby win, however, only because I love Gabby so much and I think Casey is funny as fuck. I think he is so fucking funny. But I hate, I hate the way he talks to women. Oh my god, can't bear it. But you know I love Gabby so much so I'd like her to win and like I said I find Casey really funny so I'd like him to win as well.

Luca and Grace I would like to win yeah sure like I'm not passionate like I'm not yeah I'm happy if they win I'd be really happy for them I'd probably go awww isn't that nice isn't that lovely. And Eken and Curtis, I would love, Eken and Curtis, yeah why did I feel like I put the wrong names together? Eken and Curtis I would love to see win, especially because I feel like Eken has been bullied in there. Like oh my god it's actually been a hard watch. It's genuinely been a tough watch. Catherine and Omar, I think Catherine is probably one of the nicest people I've met in the industry. We have the same management so we were at

the same Christmas party. I can't remember if I said this recently but she was so lovely and just so complimentary and I'll be honest with you, you don't get that much in this industry like, you don't really get that very often. I mean you do, like people are very like oh you look beautiful, you look beautiful but I don't know there was just she has this lovely energy she's so kind and she's so like genuine so I'd love to see Katherine win. I don't know much about Omar at all I feel like he hasn't got enough air time which is a real shame. Um Elmer and Sami um I don't want them to win because Elmer, Elmer's, listen I don't like to talk negative about people but especially especially a girl But she's she's been a bit of a fucking bully in there. She has been

She's been a big bully and I haven't liked it. I haven't liked to watch it I haven't liked the way that she's isolated Ekin, but I Can't see them winning but if they did I'd also be happy for them because I do think Elma has a really lovely side to her as well and she she handles things really well like When Harriet got voted out and she was getting all the votes and she's literally having a meltdown I'm thinking pull yourself together girl. Like come on the head held high with grace and dignity. Come on And whereas Elma when she's getting the vote, she's like don't worry, babe

It's fine. don't worry. And I like that, and I really like that side of Elmer, but yeah, like I said, she has got this horrible side where I just think, you seem really cruel. And there's been a couple of episodes where I literally, I want to turn it off, it's a hard watch, it reminds me of my life in school. I'm like, oh my god, it's like being bullied by your best friend in school again, it's bring it, I've got PTSD here So that's my thoughts on love Island guys. That's the

That's my opinions. Obviously we will have our winners by the time this episode comes out Also big fucking news is East Enders 40th anniversary week get in there. I cannot wait I didn't realize that even like all of this week's episodes aren't gonna be on the on the um iPlayer early because I don't watch them at half seven, I watched them before um and I went to watch it today, why is it not on there? Why is it not on there? And then when I went to the, I was like don't tell me it's not on tonight or something. Went to the TV guide and it is on. I was like, oh fuck's sake, I bet they're doing that all week. Apparently, this full week is around, like the full week of episodes this week is based on one day.

Apparently, I'm not sure, but I'm on the edge of my seat, I can't wait. Honestly, that is an exciting life for me. Look at this. Love Island final. EastEnders live 40th anniversary. Get my lips refilled on Tuesday. Going up north to get my Invisalign fitted on the weekend. It's a fucking good week guys. It's a lovely week for me. I can't wait. But anyway I hope you all had a gorgeous Valentine's. Oh I should have done a Valentine's special I didn't even think. Completely slipped my mind. I want to be fair what could I have done like worst date stories worst valentines gift guides be fair I could have done one I'm

such a stupid idiot but yeah I hope you had a beautiful valentines me and Jamie we did um sip and paint we went to this little like cafe place that that's very artsy and they do sip and paint nights and for Valentine's they did a portrait one where you paint whoever you go with. It wasn't just couples, it was besties and whatever. There was a girl there with her mum, it was really sweet. I ate down for some reason. I am just so good at painting and I didn't even know it guys Just good like Do you know what I think it is I think it comes from Like doing makeup all my life since I was a little kid, you know

so I understand like color theory and Like the light situation like where the light is naturally hit in like the colours are gonna be lighter, where your shadows are, like the contours of your face are gonna be darker, blah blah blah. I think that having that knowledge really helped me because I'm so pleased with what I painted. I know so many people would see my painting and be like, that could have been a six-year-old, but in my opinion, I think I really did well and the guy that that was running the event was like You should do painting and I was like I know like I literally know like I don't know where this has come from I've never painted I've never painted or drawn a human being in my life and it's gone well

You know, I always find really difficult drawing people's noses. Like they're always so difficult to paint and draw why is that like one of the best parts of my painting? And Jamie's... tell me why he literally painted Elphaba from TikTok. Not um, Cynthia Revo. Oh whoa whoa whoa! Elphaba. No. TikTok Elphaba, he painted her. Which is nice, you know, I looked at the paint and I thought, okay, sure, yeah, get it, I guess. But if you are interested in seeing these pictures, I made a TikTok where I showed them, so head over and have a little look,

but also on that note, it reminds me, obviously you guys know I did that soulmate drawing thing and people went over to my insta to have a look and their drawer was on the floor. It was so funny, the people we were chatting to, the messages I was chatting to, what? The messages I was exchanging with people? Why is that such a difficult sentence in my DM? We were just absolutely creasing together like I hope some of you guys got some please send me a screenshot if you guys actually went and got any drawings but yeah so funny honestly. Oh and when I was talking about getting my lips dissolved

and I told you guys to go and have a look at my TikTok to see the swelling, you were like okay I thought you were being dramatic but fuck. I was like yeah I know. But when this episode comes out Tuesday I'm getting my lips topped up. Not topped up, I'm getting them filled. I got fresh lips. I'll tell you what, I'm actually enjoying it and part of me is like I could have no lips and probably

When I say no lips, by the way, I'm saying no lip filler, but in my brain I just say lips. I mean filler. I could have no filler and probably be quite content with it. I think now that I've like gotten used to it I'm like, you know what? You know, it's not not pretty. Do you know what I mean? So You know, it's not not pretty. Do you know what I mean? So Yeah, I I feel quite nice in myself that I'm at that point where I can look at myself without filler and be like You know what? You're not as as ugly as you thought you are To my filler girls like you know

Looking back at pictures of yourself like before you had any work done or whatever it is whether it's your lip filler, jaw filler, chin filler, whatever it is on your nose filler you think that getting that all removed was gonna is gonna make you shiver and you think you're gonna look at yourself and go but it was really quite refreshing to see myself and be like I look quite pretty obviously not obviously not like oh I'm absolutely stunning, but like, like, fill em up, do you know what I mean, let's go. But yeah, it's been a, it's been humbling in a good way, so yeah. Anyway, I'm gonna shut up now because we have a weekly debate that is inspired by a dilemma that I just needed some evidence, some experience and some opinions on because I wasn't sure so let's get into the episode.

Welcome to Leer on the Line. Join me every Tuesday as I dial your number for the ultimate unfiltered bestie catch up. Whatever it is, we will laugh together and guide each other along the way. Head to leerontheline.com and follow Lear on the Line on Instagram to get involved. Love you! Okay guys, so this weekly debate is gonna make some of you go, what?! I just know it. Like you f- it feels like the answer's obvious, but you know, maybe, just maybe there is a success story out there. So

there is a success story out there. So, let's go. It says, do you think you can ever forgive someone for cheating and have a happy relationship moving forwards? Do you have an example of when this has happened for you? Okay, so we've spoken about whether we can forgive people for cheating and a lot of us are like, absolutely positively not babe, but then some of us are like, you know what, I don't believe in once a cheat rule is a Cheater I don't believe in a leopard never changes his spots. Actually shouldn't that be a cheat never changes his spots Anyway, you know, so we've said that you know what people can make mistakes people can and it doesn't make them a serial cheater It doesn't make them a bad guy or all go but make them a serial cheater, it doesn't make them a bad guy or girl. But, you know, have we ever really discussed whether when you do forgive somebody, you can have a happy,

successful, healthy relationship from there on? You know, because I've done a lot of dilemmas where we've forgiven, okay? But what we have figured since the beginning of Lear on the Line is it cannot be forgotten. We can forgive, but we cannot forget when it comes to this stuff. And how many of you guys have forgiven someone for cheating and it's been a success? You know what, he cheated on me at the beginning but I don't think about it anymore. He's the best boyfriend ever, like he's an incredible boyfriend. You know, let's have a look. So, no chance.

Lots of just straight no answers. Just no. Just no. Leah, no. I couldn't but for some people it has worked. Okay but babes I'm gonna need the proof you know like we hear this but hopefully someone in this response is gonna give the the proof you know of like yes this happened this is. No, if you care so little about me that you're willing to cheat, I don't want to be with you. Yeah, facts.

Like it's really, it really is that simple. Sorry, you're gonna cheat on me? I don't want to be with you anymore. Do you know what I mean? Yes, forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting, it means processing the hurt, setting boundaries and deciding if the relationship is worth saving. But it will take a lot of work to rebuild the trust.

I understand what you're saying, you know, is deciding if the relationship is worth saving. But he decided the relationship was worth damaging when he cheated. You know what I'm saying? That's the decision he made when he decided to put his penis in another woman. I actually think you can with a certain level of cheating. Full on affairs, no. Mistakes, yes. Particularly if you got together at a young age.

We're all human, we all make mistakes. I think choosing to spend your life with someone is choosing to actively grow and better yourself with them. I don't know. Yeah, you're right, to be honest. Like, I do agree in terms of, you know, especially if you get with somebody young because I did things when I was 21 that I wouldn't dare do now. Um, obviously whoever I was in relationships with at those times and at those younger years of my life I'm obviously not with now. But, um, if I was, I'm not that person anymore so I, that would be a great example. By the way, it sounds like I've like cheated, I've never cheated in my life. Um, and it sounds like I've treated somebody

really bad but I'm saying saying like even the little things that I would have done at 21, I wouldn't do now. Like I would be easier to, it would be easier for me to dismiss somebody's feelings at 21. You know, like if somebody was like, oh, it's hurting me that you're doing this or you've said this and I will be like,

oh, well, whatever. Whereas like 27 year old me wouldn't react like that. So that's a really good example of like long term relationship is about growth and change and you grow and change together. But I think the reason that doesn't stand when it comes to cheating is because your opinion has changed on them in a way that I think is hard to come back from. So if somebody, say I've been with someone since I was 19 right and I'm now, I'm now 27 and he used to be more selfish, he used to prioritize the boys above me every weekend and he was stupid with money so we could never go on a date and he never even bothered to take me on dates. If that sort of behaviour was happening, but now I'm

more of a priority and he'd rather spend his weekends with me than going out on the pierce because he's 27 now or however old this imaginary man is. he's better with money now because he's saving to buy a house, maybe he's got a house at this point. That is a really good example of like, you put up with behaviours that are hurtful and shit when you're young but they're growing to an amazing person and you have a long term, strong, healthy relationship. If this guy was talking to other girls, sleeping with other girls, I'm angry and I don't like you and I feel insecure now, so those seven years of a relationship

have been very different because you cheated, do you know what I mean? Like the difference between maybe they just didn't treat you as good as they do now, now that we're older and wiser, it's very different to he cheated on me, do you know what I mean? Like, because cheating is the next level betrayal. Like, I'm angry now, I hate you now, I hate myself, like I'm insecure, I'm comparing myself, I feel insignificant, I feel rejected, I feel like I'm lonely, I can't

trust you, do you know what I mean? And those feelings, for all those feelings to come from someone, it's hard to ever love them the same, I think. No matter what they do, even if they never ever did it again, I think it's so hard to love them the same. Like, imagine what our relationship could have been if you didn't do that. It will never be that Whatever our relationship could have been it will now never be that's what I think in my opinion Like if somebody cheated on you You will never have the relationship you could have had does that make sense? God, I waffle right? Okay back to you

The kind of person I am I could just never let it go personal experience I could never Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's the thing you want me to let it go You want me to forget you want me to not picture that you want you want to put your penis inside me now And I don't think about the fact that it was in someone else Know I mean even if it's sex, even if it was just texting, are you mad? Like if somebody, if my boyfriend's texting another girl, you can get fucked mate. You know what I'm saying? Like it is, it is about betrayal isn't it? It's about, it's about the doubt I think that they, they give you from it. Like wait a minute. Because I think we like to be delusional in relationships

and we like to believe that, like, they physically could not think of anything worse than to set their eyes on another fucking person. Like, you are their whole world and no one and nothing can ever compare to you. But realistically, humans are humans, okay? But you're going to actually text somebody else and flirt? Nah mate, not to me. No, do you know what I mean? My boyfriend? You want my whole boyfriend?

No. Um, okay, on that topic, somebody says, it depends what the cheating is. Sex? No. Texting? Maybe. Kiss? No. I totally understand how it's easy to forgive, not easy but it's less difficult to walk away from, no it's more difficult to walk away from somebody if it's a texting situation rather than physical cheating. If it's like, oh I found messages on their phone. I really do understand why it's harder to walk away because you know, the level of like

disgust is not the same. If somebody has slept with somebody else, you're disg- you're disgusting! Like, that is fucking disgusting! Get your dirty dick away from me! You're disgusting! How can you do that to me? You're disgusting! If somebody's kissed somebody else, you are disgusting! Get away from me! Disgusting, right? If somebody sent texts, I'm so betrayed. Like, I'm so betrayed. But, you're so relieved that it wasn't physical. You know, like part of you, let's be real,

part of you is so glad when they turn around, I've never even met her, I've never even met her. You're glad. You're part of you is so relieved. Part of you's like, oh fuck, fuck, fuck. And then because we don't want the relationship to be over, right, you've been cheated on. You don't want the relationship to be over.

Obviously not. If you wanted the relationship to be over, you would have ended the relationship before it got to cheating. You don't want to not be with this person. You're forced into a position where you feel like you can't and you shouldn't be. So you're like... It's not like you're fight or flight, whatever it's called that part of your brain is fighting with you about, I guess it's your head and heart. Your head is like, he's cheating on you, he's texted all these other girls or even just one girl, he's cheating on you, enough's enough. Betrayal lies, secrets, it's disgusting, he's fancying another girl, you're not enough,

not literally but for him, the pathetic piece of shit that he is girl, you're not enough, like, not literally but like, for him, the pathetic piece of shit that he is, oh I'm not enough for you, fuck yourself, right? But, then your heart is like, but he never kissed anyone, and he didn't sleep with anyone, and we're gonna throw away our whole future, like the father of my children, my husband, like, I'm gonna throw this all away over stupid texts, I'm not gonna throw it, I'm not gonna do that, I'm not gonna do that. And we feel like we're overreacting. Like it feels like we can so easily convince ourselves,

like, oh, but is it necessary to end a whole relationship over that? Like, I can, because like I said, you want to be with them and you can see a future where they earn your trust back. You can see a future where they never do it again and they would never physically cheat. He would never physically cheat on me and he's going to do everything he can to earn my trust back from these messages.

He's already blocked the girl. He's already blocked the girl. Like do you know what I mean? We're just, it's, yeah I'm hurt but we're gonna be okay. And it's so much harder to walk away from that situation. But do you think you will ever look at them the same? No. Do you think you will ever feel the same when you're having sex with them? No. Even if it was messaging, I don't give a fuck if she was on the other side of the world and you never even set your eyes on this girl. I will never look at you the same. Our relationship will never be the same now.

So it's so difficult because sure in that situation you might stay with them and consider yourself happy, right? But it will never be the same. And that's what I struggle with is like whenever somebody is in a situation or I get a dilemma where they're like do I walk away, do I walk away, all I can think of is there is a relationship out there for you where you love all the things you love about your current boyfriend. He gives you all the things that your current boyfriend gives you that you love but there is no history of betrayal. There is no secrets. There is no doubts. There is no wanting to see his phone or check in his location. And it's just trust and happiness.

And that there is that as well out there. But to get to that, you need to walk away from this person, but you don't want to walk away from this person. Do you know what I mean? I always find it really difficult when someone's in that situation because I get it that your heart and soul want, like, it's like, no, I don't want to walk away. I don't want it to be over, especially when they're on their fucking knees and they're like, I'm so sorry, I love you, you're everything to me, you're everything to me. And they tell you everything you need to hear that mends your broken, your little broken heart, you know? But who has done it where they've forgiven them and truly been like oh

Like that was so in the past. I was so happy Look, we're better. We're better than than ever. Do you know what I mean? Like oh it never crosses my I trust him with my life you know because I'm scrolling through these responses and I Because I'm scrolling through these responses and I can't see one response where somebody has said yeah I've gave my boyfriend he's an absolutely incredible boyfriend. I think it will always be in the back of your mind you'll never be fully relaxed. I feel like the thought would always be at the back of my mind. It's a no from me

Okay, he cheated while we were exclusive on a night out together are you fucking taking the piss on a night out with me We worked through it and are now in a happy relationship But I do struggle often the thought of how he could do something like that still hurts He's still sorry He has proved to me how sorry he is but still it continues to play in the back of my head see and and that was when they weren't even boyfriend a girlfriend yet and it still is in the back of your mind because like i'm saying it's that like how can you actually do that how can you actually do that to me disgusting do you know what i mean fandu casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit.m. with your chance at the number one feeling. Winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do.

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research and supply, see full terms at canada.casino.fando.com please play responsibly. Cheating you can never move on from they cross the biggest boundary in the relationship. Yes, that's it. Like you there is to be honest, there's nothing more you could do that would be worse,

unless it was my fucking best friend or a family member. Do you know what I mean? There is nothing more you could do to me that would hurt me more than cheating on me. And that's the one thing you did. I ask you to do one thing and it's be fucking faithful and you couldn't do it and for what reason am I gonna give you a chance to grow and be a better person. Get fucked I'd rather just meet a better

person you know that's the mentality. If he told me absolutely everything then maybe but if he continued to lie I wouldn't be able to move on from it. I do agree that if you have made the decision like right I'm gonna I'm gonna give this person another chance to you know make it right we need to lay everything on the table I need to know the ins and outs of what happened I I feel like. Or are you in ignorance as bliss? You know, because like we said, like we've discovered, it's low-key always in the back of your mind and you can never stop thinking about it. So if you knew the nitty and gritty and if you knew who she was and what she was wearing and

what he was wearing and where it was and where the bed was and what positions they did like that is that gonna help? Definitely not. Like definitely not. If it was just a case of look I met this girl on a night out I had sex with her and I hate myself I'm disgusting. Do I know the girl? No I swear you don't know the girl. Okay do you know what I mean? Do I want any more details? No. Hmm. But then also I think naturally it'd be like, who is she? Huh? Who? Who? What are you a fucking owl? Do you know what I mean? I think naturally that that would literally be me. Who is she? Come on. Oh what? Did you lick her out? Did you lick her out because that's too fucking far? Did she suck you off? That's too far.

Right. I'm done. I can't even joke. That makes my skin grow. But yeah. Okay. I think we all know where I stand on this and to be honest scrolling through the responses, sorry, only a handful of people and I mean one hand of people say like you

can work through it but it's hard. So no evidence of people working through it and being happy as of yet. And on that note, let's get into the dilemmas. Okay, cancelling my wedding with only four months to go. Oh fuck, okay, let's go. The wedding's off guys, the wedding's off. Let's see why. Leah, I need your help early. I'm a day one listener and I love the advice you give. Oh my god, thank you.

I love you so much. I'm so grateful. I appreciate you advice you give. Oh my god, thank you, I love you so much. I'm so grateful, appreciate you more than anything. I got engaged in 2024, and not even two weeks after, I found messages with his girlmate. I told you, listen, go back, you've been here since day one, so you know, episode one of Leah on the Line, I said, boys and girls cannot be friends. One of them wants to shag the other one, okay? Right, anyway, sorry.

Um, I found messages with his girlmate that were inappropriate and we split up. Nothing like this has happened before and I didn't feel done with the relationship. And we had already booked our wedding so I decided to stay. See? This is a classic example of what I was just talking about in the weekly debate about when it comes to messages, you're like, oh I don't want to throw this whole relationship away over messages and then we go back. I told you guys. Listen, I'm always fucking right. I'm just kidding. Okay. Seven months later I went away for two nights. I came home to find evidence that someone else had been round No, I just knew straight away

He admitted to them coming round straight away and he said he didn't tell me because he knew I wouldn't be happy, right? I'm gonna have to stop you there. What is that excuse? I've personally had that as well Okay. Oh, do you know what? This is my experience of hearing that sentence. Boyfriend's been DMing this girl. I said, what have you got to DM her about? He goes, oh, we was just talking about this, we was just talking about this and that.

I can show you if you want. I said, yeah, that would make me feel better, please do. He went, well, I delete them now because I knew you'd be livid with it. First of all, if you know I'm gonna be pissed off, the proof's in the pudding, okay? If I'm gonna be pissed off, you already know you're doing something that you should not do. This is gonna piss my girlfriend off. Instead of not doing it, I'm just gonna do it in secret. What the frick man? That's actually your fault process.

So, he said to you, I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't be happy. How about I didn't do it because I knew you wouldn't be happy? You fucking idiot mate. I hate these boys. I hate them all. Sorry, continuing on I Thought enough was enough and I deserve so much better than this. Yes girl you did Two days later. I cancelled the entire wedding

Fucking sleigh move from you at the start. I feel like had a lot of support and people around me But as time has gone on, three weeks. Okay three weeks is no time. In breakup world three weeks is a lifetime. Yeah. Like 21 night sleep, hell. You've done amazing. I'm really proud of you. The first three weeks especially, so hard. You're doing incredible. But to everybody everybody else three weeks is nothing like you click your fingers it's been three weeks it feels like everyone is just continuing their lives i'm not saying that everyone's life should stop for me in any way but it feels like people want to carry on with their children and partners while i'm just watching

the sidelines miserable i get this is so difficult because obviously the world keeps on going and like this is the classic situation of like when our World crumbles and falls apart whether that's in grief From death or breakups right because it is the same is grief The world keeps spinning and that is the hardest part like everyone else is just still getting up and going to work and having birthday parties and going for their Sunday roast every Sunday and you're in the depths of hell and you're literally, I know this feeling of like you're so disassociated with the world around you, it feels like the world's just spinning and spinning and you're in this bubble and no

one can really see you or hear you not properly and It's horrible. It's most isolating lonely sad heartbreaking feeling ever and The horrible thing is is to be honest. I feel like there's only so much someone can really do because Going through heartbreak is So lonely and when somebody's like I know how you feel you don't like yeah sure you've been heartbroken but your heartbreak was totally different to mine because whatever happened to you didn't happen to me and what happened to me

didn't happen to you and your boyfriend wasn't like my boyfriend and you don't have the memories that I have and and like whatever the things that are reminding you of your boyfriend aren't what's reminding me of mine like we're not experiencing the same thing, no one is. So going through a heartbreak is so difficult and no matter how much somebody says to you, I'm, yeah, I know what you're feeling. No, you don't! You really don't though, and like even if you do, it doesn't help me. Like, even if you do know what I'm feeling, it doesn't help! Doesn't help, so...

I know that feeling, it's so hard, it's so lonely, but I'm gonna carry on reading. So, I know that feeling, it's so hard, it's so lonely, but I'm gonna carry on reading. Me and my ex tried for a baby for a long time and unfortunately weren't successful, but a lot of people around me were around a similar time. I have these thoughts, like do I just go back so I don't feel lonely and will hopefully be able to start a family? It is very frustrating because I know how much he loves me and regrets it but I'm also late 20s and terrified to start again while everyone else is so stable around me. Please help me out here. I want to give you the biggest hug and you just cry it out and I just give you a good squeeze and just let it out babe.

Do you know what I mean? You fucking sob. Because I feel like that's what we need. When you say, Do I just go back so I don't feel lonely? You will feel lonely. Going back to a relationship where they've betrayed you and hurt you and you're only going back out of pain so that you know, Oh, we'll get back together, it'll take my pain away. That is the loneliest relationship to be in. You don't want to be in it, you just want to be out of your current

feeling because that is so much worse. And in your mind, the feeling of heartbreak is worse than being in a relationship with someone you don't trust. And I get it, that is true. But the feeling of being in a relationship with someone you don't trust last for as long as you're with them the feeling of heartbreak is temporary and it will go so Just remember that if you decide to go back with him the sadness you'll feel The rejection you'll feel the insecurity that you'll feel the rejection you'll feel, the insecurity that you'll feel, will be forever in that relationship. This heartbreak, this loneliness, this sadness, this grief will go. It will go if you stay strong.

Your age and where you're at in your life is absolutely normal and fine. I'm 27, I'm 28 this year, I live at my mum's, I have no children, my twin brother has his own house, he has a baby, he's been with his girlfriend 10 years and then there's me. Right? Everyone is on their completely different paths, that's my twin and our lives are literal opposites and it doesn't mean anything, that doesn't mean he's any happier than me and I'm no happier than him. Do you know what I mean? And I believe, you know I believe, if you've been here since day one you already know I believe that everything happens for a reason. Okay? You and your ex tried for a baby for so long and you weren't successful.

Trust in that just for now. Do you know what I mean? Like just trusting that for now and just take each day as it comes and just deep breaths. You are all you need. Like yeah sure the support of everybody else around you is incredible and whatever they can give you, let's be grateful for whatever support they can offer you, let's be grateful for. But understand that no one's going to take this heartbreak away from you. No one is gonna undo what your boyfriend has done. Ex-boyfriend. No one- sorry that was a bit sore. No one is gonna do that but you by just getting through every day.

And I really recommend journaling. So, just writing down what you're feeling. Any message that you wanna send him. Even if you write in your fucking journal I didn't want to get out of bed. All I want is to click my fingers and undo what's happened, be back in my engagement I love him. I want to be with him. We had our whole future ahead. Write it down and fucking shut that book and leave it there You know, take some deep breaths and then the next day you'll probably write down, you know what, I feel good today, I've realised I'm actually glowing recently and my ex is low-key a piece of fucking shit. And reflect on it, like you'll go through

that book and you'll be like, oh my god, like I've actually come a long way in a week. And that is enough motivation just to get you through and that is what you can control you know like to say right I'm never going to speak to him again is so daunting but to say I'm not going to speak to him today and then tomorrow I'm not going to speak to him today I'm not going to speak to him tomorrow and I'm not going to speak to him tomorrow and I'm not going to speak to him tomorrow and then before you know it you've got no contact it's been three months you you find that you don't think about him half as much, you're smiling again, you're laughing again, you're glowing, and before you know it, you're out of the depths of hell. That is heartbreak and a breakup.

And people start going, you're looking really happy recently. You're really fucking glowing. And then you'll go, I nearly went back to him. I nearly fucking went back to him. I'm so glad I just stayed strong and powered through the other side. And that- this goes to anyone who was going for a breakup because, listen, it's hell. It's hell in there, okay? It is the depths of hell. And it's not easy. It feels like it's never gonna end, but it does. I promise you now it does. It does. It does. You think, there's no way. There feels like it's never gonna end, but it does, I promise you now it does, it does, it does. You think, there's no way, there's no way I'm gonna be alright again, there's no way

I can come out the other side of a breakup with this person, I love them so much, I want no one else, I want no one else. Before you know it, you're smiling like you're fucking phone when you get texts off a whole new person you didn't even know existed last month. Yeah. So, just fucking go with it. And when you start torturing yourself thinking, oh my god but he's gonna meet somebody else, so are you. And that's gonna kill him as well. You know? Oh my god but what if he's messaging somebody

else? But so can you. Do you know what I mean? I think you're amazing and I think you have all the strength you need to come out the other side and I just want you to know that if you do decide to go back to him make sure that it is because You love him and he makes your life better not because you can't cope with the pain of heartbreak because that is such a temporary feeling I Love you. Keep me updated Deep breaths like you're an incredible strong woman I'm so proud of you for walking away from for something that was less than what you deserve. We all are.

We're all so proud of you. And yeah, next dilemma. Hey girl, love your pod. I enjoy listening to it all the time. Thank you. I love you. My dilemma. So, I want to go to university to study nursing, but I really can't decide if it's definitely the path for me.

It will be a lot of money and three or four years of my life, which will be a lot of stress and a high high workload. I already can't deal with college stress so I'm worried about uni. However, my boyfriend doesn't want me to go. Okay. When did I ask? Baby, I really don't want me to go? mmm okay when did I ask? babe I really don't want you to go when did I ask? sorry we have been dating always four years now and he's

the most supportive boyfriend ever well not really he's not really if he's like I don't want you to go not very supportive is it? he wants to support me with this but he's worried I won't have time for him and our relationship. Oh it's all about you innit! Sorry, why am I such a man hater today? I'm so sorry.

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19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca please play responsibly. He worries I may find someone new or we will naturally drift from all the work and mutually break up but I don't want that. I'm struggling with my decision on whether to go or not and having a boyfriend that doesn't really want me to go is really stopping me from making a decision. What do I say or do? I understand his viewpoint but I just can't decide. I'm gonna say this and

I'm gonna say it loud. Never make life-changing decisions over your partner. At this age especially. We're leaving college, we're going off to study uni right? Never ever turn down big big opportunities like this for a partner. If your mind is like look I don't even know if I want to, like I don't even know if it's for me, like I can't really be asked with like four years of studying, like can I be fucked with that? If that's your mentality, then 100% question and doubt if it's right for you. But if deep down you know if your boyfriend was all up, all on board, all up for it, babe go, it's gonna be amazing, I can't wait! I'm gonna come up and visit you, we're gonna have the best time, I can't wait to hear all about your studies.

And if the thought of him saying that makes you excited, and then you think, well, if he was like that, I would go, there's your answer. That means the reason you're put off the idea is because of what your boyfriend's saying, and that's not right, that's not fair. He's been very selfish. Because at the end of the day, he should keep that to himself, his opinion about I don't want you to go.

Those words should not come out of his mouth for a second. He has every right to be insecure and to say like, look, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried that, you know, our relationship might fizzle, but I'll do everything it takes from my end to make sure that we get through this. I think you have to do what's best for you babe and I'll support you every step of the way. I think it's amazing you know

like if that's the energy he's given yeah absolutely sure you're insecure and sure you're worried as we all would be but you are making a point of saying this is not about me this is about you and I'll support you every step of the way no matter how hard it is for me. Just know I've got your back and I love you, I'm here for you, I'm so proud of you, I think it's amazing. Like, nursing? Are you joking? I'm so proud of you, babe. Firstly, energy. Absolutely. I'll give you all the reassurance you need. I'll pay some of you as much as you need. Blah blah blah. If it's like I really don't want you to go, what if you meet somebody else? UGH. Shut up. Like literally shut the fuck up. I will if you carry on. But you need

to dig deep and understand like where is my doubt coming from? Is it from the voice of my boyfriend or is it from my gut that isn't sure if it's if it's what I want to do for me um and once you figured that out then make your decision talk to your parents talk to whoever it is that you go to for advice and to then and stuff like that whether it's your mom your friends your siblings whoever it is just not your boyfriend because he's being selfish and that's not fair and to be honest you can say to him like look you telling me you don't want me to go is unhelpful, I need your support and I get that you're gonna be insecure about this, I would be too, but support me and I'll support you and your insecurities along the journey,

but you can't ask me not to go, that's not fair. I need to do what's best for me and I want you to want me to do that. Do you know what I mean? And look, I get it. A lot of money, three, four years of your life, a lot of stress, high workload but the, that is just the question that you need to ask yourself if that's, if that's the thing for you because it wouldn't be for me and that's the truth. It wouldn't be for me and it wouldn't be for me and that's the truth. It wouldn't be for me and it wouldn't be for a lot of people but that's why we're not nurses, right? And there are people out there who have studied for six years and have the most incredible jobs and it was six years of hell. It was hard work. It was depression. It was so lonely and isolating and in and constant stress and no sleep for six years

But then they've got their dream job and they've come out the other end and and if their relationship survived it survived You know, but they prioritized what they knew they wanted at the end of it But then there's people like me who would oh oh no way, I'm not studying for six years, are you joking? No. So it's just about if it's right for you or not. I went to uni because I felt like I had no choice and I didn't know what else to do. I hated every second of it but I'm so proud of myself for being resilient. I learnt so much resilience doing that and going to uni. And I'm amazed with myself for how hard it was and actually being able to do it. So I think uni is hard, you know, like a degree is hard.

I think a nursing degree, they're especially hard because they're so long and they're so difficult. Like what you're actually studying is so intense and so difficult but if the thought of you coming out the other end with a degree in your hand fills you with excitement and pride then I think listen to that as well. So yeah, make the best decision for you because I'm going to say this and I'm going to be brutal. This boyfriend could probably be out of your life by the end of your degree, whether you actually went to uni or not. In the next four years of your life, who knows if you'll be with this guy, but do you want

to push a future aside for somebody that might not even be there at the end of it? Let's be real. Listen, everybody else listening to this is thinking, oh my god Leah, why have you said that? Let's be real. You're all thinking it. You're all thinking it. She might not be of this guy and she's gonna turn down a degree that would give her an amazing qualification and she wants to study nursing. We're gonna turn that down for a guy that might not even fucking be there at the end of four years? I mean, what? Let's be real. Let's throw that out there into the mix, okay?

But I love you. I trust that you will just do what's best for you. And the thing is with these sorts of decisions, you can't regret them because as long as you can say, I did what was best for me in that moment, no regrets. Listen, if you say, do you know what it's not for me and you do it next year, you do it next year. If you do it in three years, you do it in three moment, no regrets. Listen, if you say, you know what, it's not for me, and you do it next year, you do it next year. If you do it in three years, you do it in three years, babe. Do you know what I mean? It's never too late, but if it doesn't feel

right right now, just make sure it's not for a boyfriend, you know? Because that can be followed by resentment, regret, you know? And yeah, I love you, I think you're amazing and I trust that you'll make whatever is the right decision for you in this moment and we will back you every step of the way. Okay, let's wrap up the episode. Okay guys, thank you so much for listening. If you made it all the way to the end, I'm so grateful. I'm so lucky. I'm so lucky to have you guys. I am so excited for the Eastenders week. If you're an Eastenders lover like me, get in my DMs because I need to share this.

I need to share my Eastenders excitement with somebody. I know that my mum's up with my auntie this week, so I don't even have my Eastenders buddy to watch the episode with. Leanne, you're gonna have a week of Eastenders. I'm sure you'll be loving it. Don't ask no questions. The thing is, right, when my auntie comes down, she knows how much me and mum love Eastenders, right? Especially me. So we have Eastenders on, and she'll be like, what, feels of cat now? I'll be like, shh. Oh, what? Oh, I thought feels of cats, cat back with Alfie now. Shhh! Shush! He's not back, is he? He was in it 20 years ago.

Shhh! I'm literally like that. Shut up! But she knows now. Zip it. As soon as you hear the doof doof, keep it down. You know. But yeah, we're really excited.

I will be watching the live episode special special episode alone Sadly like I said no one here to enjoy it with so I've I've already got my snacks. I've got some popcorn I got some chalk and I'm gonna be fucking living it up. It's the premiere. I'm gonna throw a premiere So excited, but please get my DMs if you're any senders ever like me because I'm eating it up already. Okay, I'm gonna shut up now. Thank you so much for making it to the end of this episode. You mean the whole world to me. I'm so, so grateful to everyone that sends in your dilemmas, your weekly debate responses.

I'm so lucky, I'm so grateful. This podcast is nothing without you. And yeah, I'm so grateful, I'm so lucky, I love you. I'll speak to you all on Tuesday for a brand new episode. All right, I love you! Bye! casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily jackpots a chance to win with every spinner and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. every day. 19 plus and physically

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