Leah on the Line - 138: Comparing where I am in life to everyone else & my boyfriend doesn't care about my feelings!!

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires played by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11pm Eastern. and supply seen full terms at canada.casino.fando.com please play responsibly Hey, it's me. Hey, only me. Hey guys, it's only me. Do you know what's so funny, right? You know like back in the day, all the Disney law, Justin Bieber, like all that whole crowd, right? They'd be like, what's up guys, it's Justin Bieber.

What's up guys, it's Ariana Grande. And it's like, I'm literally looking at you But they used to say that and I used to think I used to be so confused like we know who you are Like I can see you like what's up guys. It's Justin Bieber, but then now I'm older It makes sense like not everyone knew who they were earlier Well, most people did majority people are dead. Anyway, what a random point I've just started on. Okay guys, listen, I'm going up north again this weekend. Main reason is to get my Invisalign fitted. Fucking come on! Let's go! I cannot wait. I cannot wait! Oh wait, no, sorry, I've got other news before I get into that.

Remember in last episode I was like, awesome, it's an amazing wig. I'm getting my lips refilled Blah blah blah. They cancelled on me and basically my lips girl was ill so I was like, okay, like absolutely fine I hope she's okay. Like what can what can you do? What can you do? I'm happy to wait a bit longer We cannot seem to find a date to fit in the diary. We're now looking at the middle of March. Is Helen here? Like I... No it's actually not. I'm being dramatic. But I have so much coming up from the girl that never leaves the fucking house. My calendar is... it gives me pure anxiety. I can't wait till like... April, to be honest. I've got too much in my calendar for my own mental health, for my own good. too much in my calendar for my own mental health, for my own good. Like, I'm away this weekend, the day I get back I've got an event, then I've got a day off and then I'm going

to a show, and then the next day after that I've got a birthday party, and then two days after that I've got this other appointment, and then a week after that, what's this? Oh, I'm in Bristol, okay, what's that for? I can't remember. And then at the end of the month I've got the basement yard show. Anyway, I've got all these like events and things happening. And especially this weekend, I've got my teeth appointment. We're filming it, right? It's gonna be a close up of my mouth.

I really would have liked to have nice fresh lips for that, but I'm not gonna have any lip filler. And it's just, it is what it it's just it is what it is like it is what it is and I know to anyone that doesn't get lip filler it's like shut up literally shut up already and I get it but I also know that there are so many people out there that will understand my pain like they will understand that that that is like oh fuck imagine like imagine getting your lips dissolved and then you can't seem to find an appointment to refill them like imagine especially because I waited until

Feb because it was supposed to be a quiet time of year. I was literally like perfect. We'll get it in Feb No one goes out in Feb. No events in Feb. It's absolutely fine. I'll do it in Feb I've done it in Feb seems to be the busiest month of my life, and I'm stuck with no filler on my lips, but it's fine. Anyway, so I'm going up north this weekend. Main reasons for my Invisalign which I cannot wait for. I'm so excited. I'm literally... I'm so excited to do this, like to transform my smile, my teeth. I am so insecure about this one crooked tooth I've had since I was young. If you don't know, basically, I... I've always had this snaggle tooth, right? It's the one right next to my front two teeth, whatever that tooth's called.

And not only does it... is it crooked, like bent, but it sticks forward so much to the point where people have always said to me like, What happened to your tooth? Did you chip your tooth? Or like, and I'm like, what are you talking about? It's literally just a bit crooked babe, like it's so dramatic. What do you mean what happened? It's just a bit crooked, just a snaggle tooth. You've never seen a snaggle tooth in your life. And my mum always made me feel like it was really cute

and it's what makes me me and it's what, you know, it adds personality to your smile, it makes you look different from other people and she always made me feel like it was a cute part of my smile and then I sort of got to a teenager age and I was like, then you start thinking am I supposed to have perfectly straight teeth, blah blah blah and it was hard because all my other teeth, I think I'm very lucky that they're very straight, like my teeth in general are quite straight, but I just had this one and I think that's almost what makes it look a bit weirder. The fact that it's just one, like you know like Arianna, Arianna Grannis,

she's got two snaggle teeth on both sides, they mirror each other. Mine is just one and it's so drastic, right? That it makes my face look so like asymm, asymmetrical and I've just, like, fixated on it. I was never bullied for it. Nobody else ever said anything to me about it in my life. Nobody's ever, like, took the piss out of me. It was only when I got older, in my twenties and stuff, where people started to ask me, like, what happened to your tooth and, like, on social media people would be like, what happened to your tooth and like on social media people would be like what happened to your tooth. But yeah, when I was younger nobody ever bullied me for it. They had my nose for that but They yeah, I don't know where the insecurity came from. It was just always there and in every picture I was I was so mortified by this fucking snaggle tooth. It's pathetic, right?

But anyway, you know what it's like when you're young especially and you fixate on something and you cannot, no matter how much somebody convinces you, you cannot learn to love some things, can you? You just can't. So eventually at the ripe age of 18 years old, actually I was 17, I think I was about to turn 18, I decided, my mum also helped me make the wise decision that whilst it's free, let's get some braces. So I had braces from the age of 17, literally just turned 18, so I just, basically from the age of 18, from the age of 18 to 21 I had braces. Now, I got them off early because I didn't want them at my, I can't remember what it was but there was like a certain thing that I really didn't want them for. I was made to believe that

I was gonna have them off for... wait no I didn't get them at 18 that's a lie because I had them in college so I got them at... oh wait no yeah that does make sense I got them at 17 shut up Leah. Anyways I had braces from 17 to 21 and then I got them at- oh wait no yeah that does make sense, I got them at 17, shut up Leah. Anyways I had braces from 17 to 21 and then I got them off and they did say to me that realistically you should keep them on a bit longer and I was like, you told me I could get them off on this day, I can't bear it for another second, going for a uni with braces? No. It's not for me, right? And I so badly wanted them off for my final year show, I wanted them off for my graduation,

I was just like, enough's enough, like I don't want braces anymore! I don't want braces anymore! Um, especially because you're at that age where you're like, I'm a fucking adult, like I'm 21, I'm so grown up and mature now, and I was like, get these fucking train tracks out of my mouth. So they took them off because technically my teeth were straight but for some reason they needed longer, I'm not sure why, but they were like perfectly straight, like so perfect. Get my braces off, I was like, so confident. It felt so good that when somebody held a camera in my face, I would just smile and I knew no matter what angle you was catching me my teeth were gonna look up banging like my teeth were just gonna be on point and That's a Stetson experience. I've never felt in my life

I've always been like no not from not from that angle like my tooth looks really bad from below like my tooth looks really bad From the right like I've always been like that and I had these perfect teeth and it was life changing. I was like oh my god I'm stunning. I've actually fucking dropped their gourd. Obviously not but it was such a game changer for something that bothered me since I was really little. Anyway, my brother and both my sisters all had braces, okay, so it was a full house in my household. We'd all had braces. And granted, I needed them the least. Like, my brother and my sister, they had that thing where the fangs grow like, up in your fucking nose. Like, their teeth were like, pretty messed up.

So they had braces and they now have like, lush teeth. Amazing teeth. Same as my oldest sister. Really nice and really straight teeth. But my situation was just one really nice and really straight teeth, but my My situation was just one tooth. So I was like Like I don't really need them but like fuck it like let's just do it. Let's just do it cuz it's free I get my braces off perfect teeth and none of my siblings wore their retainer Right, not a single one of them not for a night. My sister did have that one where it's fitted on the back. Oh, sorry. I'm getting a video. That's so weird! That's my sister!

That is so weird. Let me silence my phone. She's doing a surprise for my niece tonight, her daughter, because she's having like a surprise birthday sleepover, and she had these people come round the house and decorate this really sweet, girly, teepee, sleepover thing. Anyway, I copied them and I didn't wear my liners, my retainers, sorry. Tell me why my snaggle tooth come flying back out within about two weeks. I am not exaggerating. It was about two weeks and I looked in the mirror and I thought, no, that's not happening to me. There's no way! I just went through three years of braces for two weeks of having a nice smile.

No way! That's not happening. I tried to fit my retainer. Didn't fit me anymore. I was just like, wow. And then I kept telling myself it's not gonna go back to as bad as it was. You know, like, it will stop here. It will stop here. No, it went back to as bad as it was. Mmm, I don't know actually. No, that will stop here. No, it went back to as bad as it was. I don't know actually, no that's not true. Looking at it in the mirror now, it was a lot worse when I was a kid because now that I don't have filler on my lips, it is exactly the same mouth as when I was a

kid and it was a lot worse. It was a lot worse. But yeah, so that was just such a nightmare for me. I was absolutely gutted that my teeth went back to normal and I think it actually instilled like more insecurity on me because I was devastated. I was like no, I thought I was free from that insecurity that had ruled me all my life. So then when I got to the age of 23, And when I got to the age of 23, I started Clear Aligners with a company that I don't really think is running anymore, but they were like one of the more affordable ones. And it was like an at home kit that you do. And I'd seen so many good reviews, so I was like, yes, let's go. Like I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

I really want my straight teeth It didn't work. It didn't work at all. Like it really didn't so I stopped using them and That was that Left I kept my tray that I was using from them and I just used to sleep in it because I used to think like Well, they're only gonna get worse. Like if I don't to sleep in it because I used to think like well they're only going to get worse like if I don't just sleep with it in every night it's just going to go back really really bad again because I did I do think it improved it I think maybe it did tuck it in a little bit but yeah and then I used a new aligner company who again like I saw incredible reviews for and it worked it

worked so well and when I look back at videos I think oh my god like it fully fucking worked and I remember I used to measure it by like where I bite my teeth together and if they can touch and they would like just be closed and touch and that makes no sense to some people but it makes sense to me and now like when I close my teeth together it doesn't touch that tooth anymore that's how I know that it's gone back but anyway that aligning company like I think they went bust or or something because their comments just began to be filled with I've been scammed like what's happened blah blah blah and they stopped responding

to my emails and stuff so I never got my next set of aligners, which meant that all the work and all the progress we'd made just ended up going back to square one because my aligners, I could only sleep with my final tray. I needed like a new eight weeks worth of trays or whatever it was, um, but I wasn't getting a response so I couldn't get my next fit in and get my next aligners. So what happened was I had whatever the tray I last used for the foreseeable and it broke, it cracked and then eventually my teeth just moved back and I was just like oh my god. I I cannot do this again I cannot like this is the fourth time my fourth attempt of straightening my teeth

so I thought to myself like I Have never been able to let this go I've slept with a cracked broken alina in my mouth for about six years now because I'm still just so paranoid and scared of like my teeth moving back and it's like it's so unimportant but it's this like deep rooted insecurity that I made. Nobody picked on me for it. I made that up and yeah I think where it's something something where I experienced really straight teeth briefly after my braces and

How incredible I felt I think that is the reason why I've never been able to let this go And I think how come I can't just fix it Well, I just fix it everyone else can do. Do you know what I mean? Like, why can't- why is this not working? So, I'm actually now, I'm working with Ringway Dental. Not on- not on the pod, but yeah, and they are- they are actually insanely good, especially Dr. Steven Dodd. He did Molly Smith, I think, is her last name, from Love Violin. Do you know the one who's now with Tom that used to be with Callum? He did her smile makeover, which is where I first saw them and I was eyeing them up for ages because I was just obsessed I was just like every smile makeover that they post I'm like

Yeah, give it to me. Give it to me Rachel, right because I Follow so many teeth pages so many dentistry pages But the second they post a smile that I think oh god, I wouldn't want them teeth I'm I've lost interest it I'm like, you know, I'm I would never trust them because I'm so scared of Fucking it up. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm so scared of having my teeth done and being like no I look like a fucking horse or like this This is not the vibe. This is not the vision Like this is not what I had in mind and then looking back and thinking I looked younger before

I looked pretty like why did I care so much? It wasn't even that bad So I've always been really scared of going to the wrong people. So go into ring way. I'm going to Manchester for these appointments. It's a trek. It takes us about five six hours we end up going for a whole weekend just to make it worth it and That is how much like it means to me that I go to somebody that I love. So I'm so excited. This like Invisalign fit in. This is such a long-winded story about my teeth. Oh well, maybe it's interesting. Who knows? But anyway, it is so like like it just means so much like the fact that I'm actually and I'm using the official Invisalign brand this time no more

knockoffs no more bankrupt brands okay and I'm just so excited and I I honestly don't think you guys understand how much it means to me like I think that's why I love this pod right because on every other social platform I'm like you know like yeah you know, like yeah This is amazing like and it doesn't really get much deeper than that because I don't have enough time to To talk about things and videos and tik toks because they're normally like a minute long there's on my pod like I can dive so deep into things and like

I think that's why my relationship with my pod listeners is so different to like The people who don't listen to the pod and just follow me on social which honestly mean the whole world to me and more as well as you guys but our relationship is another level of deep because of these sorts of conversations like you understand when I get my teeth done to someone else that's like oh of course she had her teeth done but to you guys it's like that means so much to her so yeah I'm really excited and I'm just like I can't wait to keep chatting to you guys about it and like Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. But whilst we're also up there you guys remember we went to a psychic Mick I've spoke about Mick since the day we met him like two years ago Me and Jamie had only been together a matter of months when we went to see this psychic and he was like, you're gonna have twins. He asked Jamie like,

why aren't you in the police anymore? Like he knew everything. He asked me who Missy is. Missy is my dog. He was like, you know, to Jamie, your granddad's come through. He said to me that my nan come through and like he was just insanely accurate. It was scary. And I'm low-key a skeptic which I think would surprise a lot of people because you know, you know what I'm like, I believe in the power of the universe, I believe in the timing is always right and I believe what's meant for you will always find you, blah blah. But there's something about the whole mediumship situation that I think like, you know when they say like,

who's Neil? And you're like, well surely you can tell me that. You're the psychic honey, you know? You tell me who Neil is, I don't even fucking know. And I think that's the bits that make me go, what are you talking about? Like when they're like, I've got a father figure here. And then you're like, no my dad's, my dad's still here. And then they're like, it could be a granddad. And you're like, no I haven't lost a here. And then they're like, it could be a granddad. And you're like, no I haven't lost a granddad.

And they're like, could be a great granddad. Could be a great, great granddad. And it's like them situations, I'm like, yeah. And then like, I've got a granddad John. And it's like, most people have a granddad John. Like, I don't even know. Or they're like, who's Steve? And it's like, most people know a Steve. Who's Ben? Most people know Ben. Like,

my nan is called Hazel. Very unique, beautiful name. Has anybody ever said to me, I've got the name Hazel here? No! But if you were that psychic, surely you would? Like surely, surely you would go, I've got Hazel here. Do you know what I'm saying? I hope Mick's not listening to this pod because he's gonna have all the goss and all the juice. He's gonna be like, I've got your nan Hazel. I'm like, wow that's crazy! But yeah, and I love it because I- this situation, when I went to see him last time with Jamie, the second Jamie sat in the room, bearing in mind Jamie had left, he used to be a policeman right, Jamie had left the police about two months before we met and no it was about a month before we met and then we've sat down in this psychic

reading and the first thing he said is why aren't you a copper anymore? My jaw hit the floor, I said what do you mean Like, how do you know that? And it's crazy. And he said to me about, there's three sets of twins. Told me I was gonna have one, but why is there three? And I was like, well I'm a twin and my mum's twin. He was like, okay perfect, that makes sense. But he didn't have to say there's three sets. Like, he brought up twins and I was like, yeah I'm a twin. And he was like, no, like, it's not that. You're gonna have twins. But surely if he was a fraud he would have gone oh yeah yeah that's what I'm talking about yeah yeah me yeah like yeah

but I cannot wait to let you guys know because you guys love it you guys love it when I have a psychic reading and I give you all the tea I am actually gonna ring up beforehand and ask if we can record it because then if there is anything major I can play it on the pod. I'm so excited! But if not we're having separate reading so I'm gonna get Jamie to make notes about mine because you can hear each other's through the door and then I'll make notes about his because that's what we did last time but then he ended up calling me in the room because he was like I'm getting mixed messages like I'm getting messages come through for you so you need to come and sit in and have a joint read-in which Loki is kind of annoying because we paid for separate but

whatever babe like whatever he did tell me and Jamie we were gonna get married in the next year and we'd only been together like six months at the time and we are not married so I was like I'm not sure about that babe I'm not sure you got that right baby because that doesn't really sound like something I would do. And he did say we're married in spirit. So I was like, oh look at you changing your tune. But yeah, I'm low-key a skeptic, but low-key a big big believer. Especially because it makes me feel closer to my nan. So I will

definitely let you guys know what he has to say. I'm so excited. If I get there, because I've held on to the fact that Mick told me I'm going to have twins and obviously the second psychic told me that, I mentioned that on the pod recently, a second psychic told me that I'm going to have twins. If I get there on fucking Saturday and he's like, I can see you having one kid, I'll be like, wait because that's actually not true Mick. I don't know if you're the sidekick here on me because that's actually false I'm having twins, honey. It's actually got to the point where imagine when I go to my baby scan and and there's one Huh, what do you mean my second baby's gone? Yep, baby's looking healthy and happy

baby or babies. Because if not, I need to go have a word with someone. Oh no. The thing is, I would love twins. I would. But do I want my body to go through that? Am I capable of having newborn twins? No. My mum would help me though, she'd be the best. She would literally, because she's had twins. She's a twin. She's had twins. That would be crazy. Like, imagine my mum's a twin, then she has twins, and then she has twin grandchildren. That's nuts, isn't it? But yeah, I'm gonna stop chatting rubbish now. And let's get into some dilemmas! Welcome to Leer on the Line. Join me every Tuesday as I dial your number for the ultimate

unfiltered bestie catch up. Whatever it is, we will laugh together and guide each other along the way. Head to leerontheline.com and follow Leer on the Line on Instagram to get involved. Love you! Okay, I am so excited. These dilemmas this week are difficult. I say that every week, but maybe I'm just getting worse because I find it harder and harder to not be like, break up with them. Okay.

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let's go that reminded me of that song let's go let's go it's on tiktok oh welcome to club i don't know what that is but anyway Hey Leah, sorry if this is long. I really need some girly advice I struggle a lot with my current relationship and just have no clue what to do Me and my boyfriend have been together for around one year and three months now and I love him He's so fun to be around and we get along like a house on fire. I can be myself around him and I don't feel judged perfect Let's not put him on a pedestal for that though. Do you know what I mean? Good. You know, you can be yourself, that's good. We have had

some issues in the past with the way he's treated me. For instance, in arguments, whenever he has hurt my feelings, whether that be big or small, he can be quite heartless and he never cares about something if he doesn't understand the reason for me being upset in his own head It's just given like emotionally Stupid like the lack of emotional intelligence is so ugly Like I don't really get why you're upset. I just can't really get my head around why you're upset Honestly that's exhausting We've had some really heated arguments and one of them was when he went to play pool with some friends and my ex was

in the same room Okay, oh Okay, when you okay, so you were there as well. You were playing pool with him and some friends and his ex and your ex was there. Right, okay, not nice, but no one's fault. My boyfriend seemed fine and just got on with it. However, when we left he proceeded to tell me that he felt disgusted to be with me because he had seen who my ex was and didn't want to touch me or look at me and

dropped me off at home. It was hell for three days and I had to literally beg him to stay with me. Ugh, what an insecure, stupid rat. Sometimes I think about the fact that this, that someone's son I'm talking about. Like I need to actually calm down but I'm sorry, you guys are my priority. You guys are my friends and my sisters. That's emotional abuse. You're so insecure, you're actually gonna say to me, I don't even wanna touch you. After seeing who your ex is, I don't wanna touch you. After seeing who your ex is I don't want to touch you. That is so disgusting

that you want to make me feel like that about myself. Over what? You absolute freak, over what? Do you know what I mean? And you had to beg him to stay with you, that's so sad. All because my ex was in the same room. Make it make sense. There's been a few ever heated arguments where he has just been horrible and I move past them at the time and he thinks I'm over it but they're still in my mind and I can't shake them. Yeah see I know what you're doing, I've been there. When someone is just horrible and all you want is the pain to go, like someone is just horrible and all you want is the pain to go like that anxiety that they're causing you in that argument and the hurt and the pain you just want it to go and if it means brushing under the carpet and forgetting

about it and having a cuddle at the end of the day you'll do that because it gets rid of that pain it's like you know you won't win do you know what I mean that you're not gonna fight the battle you're not gonna fight the battle. You're not gonna fight Why and and sit there and tell them like do you realize what you're doing? like you're emotionally abusing me you're emotionally manipulating me and controlling me and you're insecure like you're not gonna waste your breath like that because They'll take what you're saying and they'll make you the problem. It sounds like a nasty piece of work. I'm not gonna lie It sounds like a nasty piece of work. I'm not gonna lie But the dilemma I have and have been struggling with for a few months is I just don't feel attracted to him at all

See, this is a thing. Why would you? Like I was saying like that It's so ugly like that abuse and nastiness is so ugly! Like, I don't even want to touch you after seeing your ex! Eugh! Literally, eugh! Eugh! And then, what, you want me to have sex and suck you off? Eugh!

Um, I don't know if that's because of past issues or if that's always been the case and I just haven't acknowledged it but I don't feel sexually attracted to him and I've been trying to ignore it for so long because I love him but I just have this constant pit in my stomach that I shouldn't be with him. I want to be attracted to him but I'm just not and I feel bad so I don't really know what to do but I'm 25 this year and I don't want to feel like I'm wasting my life, my time as I, yeah, wasting my life. I finished that sentence for you. As I know that being attracted to someone is really important as well and I just don't want to feel like a horrible

person. I hope you see this. I really need some advice anyways. Love you, you're amazing. Oh I love you so much and you are so amazing and this is a classic case of a stupid insecure little boy who doesn't understand other people's feelings and emotions, doesn't even attempt to understand boy who doesn't understand other people's feelings and emotions, doesn't even attempt to understand them, doesn't care to understand them, has taken away your self-worth and what you deserve to the point where you're being treated like a piece of shit, he's horrible to you, and you're like, oh like, should I be with him? No! Babe! Someone treat you like that! No!

And when you leave This will be a situation where you look back and you'll go UGH! And you'll go, you know like when people laugh about their trauma? That will be what this is. Like you know when you go, yeah my ex dropped me off at home and I begged for him not to leave me

because he had to play pool in the same room as my ex. Like what? Make that make sense to a normal human being, like it just doesn't. And look, I will say this, like I would never tell you to leave, I would never tell you to leave, but I think something's holding you back from leaving him. Something makes you feel scared but how about we consider there is a relationship for you out there where he's so sexy and not only is he sexy and you actually want to have sex with him but when you're upset and he said something that's made you feel insecure or unheard or Whatever and you go that's really hurt my fucking feelings what you've just said his response is I'm sorry, baby I don't mean it like that Come here. I'm so sorry, baby

that exists and We can stay in a relationship like this Where when I talk to you about my feelings, it's, well I don't really get what you're upset about. I don't really get it. I don't really get why I'm upset. And then, I don't want to fucking touch you because I've seen your ex and I can't look at you the same. You can fucking stay at home tonight. Because I know where I'd rather be if I was you. And you're 25, you've got your whole life ahead of you. You're absolutely amazing. You're so sweet and lovely and kind and

I'm gonna give my life to you. I get one life. I'm gonna give it to you No No, not in my right mind You joking I Just think like If it helps perhaps write down the pros and cons of this person. Like, what is it you like about him and how much of that is irreplaceable because it needs to be worth it. Like, the pros need to be worth how bad those cons are. Like, if the cons are doesn't

validate my feelings, doesn't give a shit when I cry, doesn't care if he hurts my feelings, emotionally abuses me, makes me feel insecure, dismisses my emotions, but the pros are... oh sorry and the cons don't really think of any other pros, because I'm thinking oh maybe he's good looking, oh no you said he's not, oh maybe he's kind, oh no we know he's not kind. So whatever the pros are on this list, they need to be fucking strong to make them cons worth living with because Just look at yourself in the mirror and realize You're a beautiful amazing funny kind trustworthy strong woman and

Why why the fuck would I give my life the one life I've got to the likes of him? That is what it comes down to. Alright babe and I love you and I think I personally, as your friend, I think you deserve better but it's always up to you. I love you babe. Keep me updated. Alright. Hey Leah I need your advice. I'm having trouble with comparing myself to others and it's leading to a lot of self-hatred. I'm 25 and I moved back home with my family last year when I was struggling with my mental health and now I feel like such a failure. I have friends who have been married for years, have multiple kids and friends who at least live independently and have active dating lives. I feel like out of shame I've

isolated myself and I now can't see a way out. How do I deal with being at this stage in my life? I hate it but I know it's not as simple as just moving out because I feel like I would isolate myself even more and then my mental health would suffer. I don't know if this makes sense but I appreciate you and this podcast a lot as it gives me such a great sense of community and friendship. Thanks Leah, I love you lots. Oh I love love you. I'm so, so happy that this pod does that for you. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots, guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling. Winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute?

I do. Daily Jackpots, a chance to win with every spinner and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. Every day 19 plus and physically located in Ontario gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca select games only Guarantee void of platformer game outages occur guarantee requires played by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern research and supply seen full terms at Canada.casino.fando.com. Please play responsibly Okay, let me tell you something now. I hate this advice. It pisses me off. But there are millions of 25 year olds that feel exactly the same as you. When I was 25, which is almost three years ago now, I'll be sick, I was going through,

I think if my timeline is correct, or at least around 25, maybe 24, 25, I was living in London, working in a bar, and I was auditioning for musicals on the West End, and I was in a relationship that ended. Okay? Relationship end. Relationship ends. I quit my job, I moved out of London and I moved back to my hometown which was my idea of hell, right? I thought no I can't do this. I'm gonna have to move to Manchester because I can't afford to live in London on my own, maybe if I can find a friend on like spareroom.com I can move to Manchester and I was weighing up all my options because what I thought was happening to my life, I thought was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me. Let me tell you something, I was so stressed about having to quit the bar job, social media became my full-time job,

something I never would have dreamed I'd be lucky enough to say. I moved out of London, back to my hometown, I thought that's hell. I want to be in London, I want to be here, I don't want to be back in my hometown where where I just would fucking rot and fail. want to be back in my hometown where where I just would fucking rot and fail. I've learned I hate London now. I would not I would not want to live in London now. I love the countryside. I love the slow-paced life. It is for me. It just is for me. And if you told me that I'd say piss off. No way. No way. My relationship ended. I'm now in a relationship that makes me happier.

And all of these things that that you're saying like you know, you're 25, you've moved back home because you were struggling with your mental health and you feel like a failure, or your friends are married, they have multiple children, or at least they're independent and they've got active dating lives. When you feel

like everything's just shit and let me tell you when I when I'm talking about what happened with me that didn't happen overnight I had months of being on the fucking floor feeling like there's no way I can turn this around like my life's over there's no way I can turn this around I'm fucked and my life just rocketed for the better and my life just rocketed for the better. And sometimes when you feel like these moments of failure, like you said the word failure, you know that really cringey thing where people say like, oh like when you get full of, you're going backwards, sometimes it's, you're like an arrow, like a bow and arrow that's being pulled and then you let go and you'll just go flying forwards I

Truly have experienced that that is true So when you feel like you're going backwards and you're failing and nothing's working out It's because wherever you were wasn't right you were on the wrong path. You've been pulled back Okay, you've had to move home. Your mental health was bad, so wherever you were before, you weren't in the right place. Your mental health was bad, so you've been pulled back. And now you feel like a failure, you feel like you're not where you wanted to be

in your life. You just need to trust in the process and everything will work out better than you imagined. And I promise, I promise that's the truth. I promise you won't feel like this for the rest of your life that you're just gonna, now this is my life now, I'm just gonna feel like a failure for life. You're gonna meet someone, you're gonna make new friends, you're gonna align with your

current friends, whatever it is, you will just, things will just work out better than you imagined and you just have to sit with it, trust in it and focus on what you can control which is how you spend your day to day life and is that good for my mental health? Because that's what we need to focus on right now is your happiness and and the parts of it that you can control Not stressing about the future is one of them Believe me don't stress about the future My mentality when I was 25 only only two and a half years ago when I was 25, only two and a half years ago, completely different to now. When I was 25 I was like, oh like I don't know if I'll ever have children, I don't know, I

just want to live in London, I don't know what I'm gonna do for work. Now I'm nearly 28, now I see children in my future without a doubt, it's all I want, I'm terrified that it won't happen. After two and a half years ago I was like I don't even know if I really am sure, like you know, and I don't want to live in London anymore or the city, I want to stay where my family are, where I feel safe and comfortable and the thing is is that might change but right now that's what that's why I'm happy. I can't remember what else I said, but yeah, like the way that your mentality changes and what you want from life changes is massive in this time in your life.

And I talk about this all the time, like just because somebody is 25 and they've got a husband and babies, that doesn't mean that you're any less because you don't have that. Because sometimes we need to ask ourselves Like would I even want that like if I could click my fingers right now and be a wife and a mum now Would I do that?

Would I do that and I know some people the answer is yeah But don't get wrapped up in where where everyone else is because sometimes it's not what it seems sometimes it's not as fulfilling as you imagine it's going to be or you aren't even ready for it when you think you are, you know? Trust in the way your life is panning out and yeah, focus on the things that you can control that make you happy. So is there habits that you're doing in your day-to-day life that low-key you probably could admit that they're not good for you,

whether that's drinking, vaping or laying in bed too long or not cleaning your space enough. Whatever it is, these little things that you can control. You know what, my house is a fucking tip and that's probably not good for me. My bedroom's a tip every day. I'm gonna start really looking after my space. That's gonna make a big difference. Little things like that that you can control, they make you feel like you've got the power back in your life, you know? And make friends online honestly. Honestly do it. I really wanna see if I can host an event where we can all meet up and it will be like a friend making event. I really want to do it. It's something that I'm going to look into this year

because trust me when I say you're not alone when I tell you that so many of us feel lonely and feel left out and feel like we are on a different path. I think our 20s are such lonely years and if you can really try and learn to love your own company as well, because it does help. And that doesn't mean like, you know, you don't need friends, be on your own. That's not the case at all. But being on our own doesn't have to feel lonely.

And yeah, I just think, don't worry. Like, stop looking at the future. Don't worry. Just look at today. And what can I just think, don't worry, stop looking at the future, don't worry, just look at today, what can I do today, what can I control today? And yeah, I love you, I'm sending you the biggest hug, everything's gonna be okay, like everything's gonna be okay, just trust me when I tell you that. And I hope my examples are a helpful example of when you feel like you're in the wrong place. Sometimes it's that classic, the arrow's being pulled back, you're gonna go flying and you're gonna be in an even better place. Somewhere you don't even consider.

And yeah, I love you. I'm so proud of you. I Love you Okay, guys. I actually I'm gonna wrap up the episode a little bit early today Normally we would do to be fair. We didn't do a weekly debate this week because this is a very Rushed I don't want to leave till last minute episode I'm like I said, I have the most manic fucking schedule at the moment and I'm not I refuse I'm not missing a podcast. So I wanted to make sure that I literally recorded one as quick as I could, scheduled it so that it was up ready because I'm gonna be up north for a while like four days, five days, one two, wait four days, so yeah I wanted to make

sure that it was not being sacrificed but I did have to sacrifice the weekly debate because I didn't even realize it was fucking Thursday today and I was like, oh shit it's Thursday today, I thought it was Wednesday. So that's just brilliant. My schedule was chaos. I- you guys do tell me that I have ADHD and it does genuinely- I wonder if I do because just having things in my diary, like something as little as, I had a nail appointment yesterday, my whole Wednesday was a write off, I was like, no I can't, I can't, I'm busy, I'm busy. I had a nail appointment at one o'clock. But I'm like, I can't, I can't, I'm so busy, I've got manic day ahead, manic day.

Because in my head I'm like, yeah I've got a nail appointment, but I'm going to Manchester on Friday, I need to make sure I've got to strip the sofa and clean all the covers on the sofa and make sure that that's all done, and then I need to make sure that my washing basket is empty, then I need to fake tan before I go out, I need to plan my outfits for the weekend, I need to make sure that I filmed this brando, I need to make sure that I've got all my content scheduled for the weekend, I need to make sure my podcast is scheduled for the weekend and maybe sit on my knees for an hour. I'm exhausted and I've got East senders live that I will not be missing

That's tonight. I'm so excited. But yeah, I love you. Let's wrap up the episode. Please stay for the outro Okay, so I am honestly So excited to talk to you about Mick and about my psychic reading because you guys eat it up like me like you guys Just oh, I just love it. I'm buzzing me I'm absolutely buzzing so I will give you guys all the tea even if it's something that I probably shouldn't share I'm gonna make so many notes so I don't forget anything But one thing he said to us in our last reading was beware of somebody called Neil and still to this day I've never met a Neil. So maybe I should ask him, you

sure it's Neil? No one else. But yeah, I'm really excited. I get really anxious and nervous especially because it actually really triggers my fear of death like quite a lot. Like last time it really triggered my health anxiety to the point where I was screaming and crying over my wisdom tooth growing through thinking I had mouth cancer. Like what? Yeah and I was like in a bad way and then I realized it's because I had a psychic reading where I'm confronted with the idea of death and it's very triggering but I'm gonna try and separate that from my fear of death because Last time I had a read-in in my hometown, you know the second one I had not too long ago

That that was fine for me. I think it didn't trigger me. I don't remember so Yeah, hopefully I'll be fine. I'll be totally fine, you guys. And then we've got the weekend in Manchester and then, um, back home. Niece's birthday. And then I'm going to an event for the new Bridget Jones movie, which I absolutely wasn't for. And I've got Jordan's birthday party. And then, oh, and then I'm going to this Michael Jackson show, because me and Jamie love Michael Jackson that's before the party And then I can't even think I was so sorry I can't even think and then I got the basement yard next month I'm buzzing for that. Let's fucking go. I'm so excited. Anyone else going to the basement yard? Let me know

I had to surprise Jamie with tickets because I couldn't even tell you guys that I got tickets to the basement yard because Jamie would listen and well, he doesn't listen to all my episodes, but sometimes he'll just be like, oh I'm catching up on your pod today and That was a risk I wasn't willing to take I bought him some basement yard tickets for Valentine's Day And I wanted to scream it from the rooftops the day I bought it, but I couldn't tell you See I'm so excited. Let me know if you're going to the basement Yeah, we're going to the first show cuz I know they've extended it to three shows now Which big slay but yeah, alright guys

I hope you have an amazing week Whatever is that you're getting up to and I will speak to you on Tuesday for a brand new episode All right. Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast and the other podcasts you'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we've put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out. Complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way, we can say thanks for your opinion.

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