Leah on the Line - 140: I cheated on my boyfriend... he forgave me but still punishes me for it!

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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and paying for ad-free streaming. But when they're listening to a podcast, they're hearing Acast ads, which are 4.4 times more engaging than with display ads. So if you want real attention, start advertising on podcasts with Acast. Start today at go.acast.com slash ads. Hello my gorgeous, gorgeous listeners, my gorgeous best friends. Happy Tuesday, grab a seat, welcome back. It's a brand new episode of Lear on the Line, it's a beautiful day. Happy Tuesday, how is everybody? How you feeling? Hands up if you went to see Sabrina Carpenter last week.

That silence is my hand not going up because I did not get tickets and I did not get picked by a brand to go as one of the influencers who by the way I'm infuriated by because they're making videos at the Sabrina Carpenter concert Singing along to the lyrics that they don't even know they're not even getting the lyrics right and you're there with the brand For free in a box watching Sabrina Carpenter who by the way, I love and adore and Have listened to nothing else Then her freaking album for the last, sorry albums for the last however long and I would have given up anything to be at that fucking show okay and it's gonna take me a little while to recover from all the Sabrina Carpenter concert content that I've seen

and listen while I'm so happy for these people I am so bitter and so jealous and I'm not afraid to say it but it looked incredible she is and was incredible and I you know there's always next time okay we just keep going we just keep moving There are worse problems to have than not being invited to a Sabrina Carpenter concert, you know? Things are weird for me at the moment. Like, you know when you just feel like you're... I feel like I'm really disassociated. You know when you just feel really separate from the world? It's really weird. Like it's such a horrible morbid feeling when you just feel like the world is spinning and you're just like watching it and you just feel like...

I don't even feel like really depressed or like really anxious. Like I'm just really disassociated and I'm really struggling to re-associate. But like even though I've got so much to, like, look forward to and so many exciting fun things coming up, I just feel like, I can't even find the word to describe what I feel. It's so bizarre to me what I'm feeling. It's re- like, it's not emptiness because I'm feeling heavy emotions, but it's not anxiety and it's not emptiness because I'm feeling heavy emotions But it's not anxiety and it's not depression like I said, it's just like I don't even know

But anyway, I've decided to get a lash lift I don't know why I've never thought to do this before because I'm not a false lashes kind of girl I find them uncomfortable. I get it's like sensory overload I also don't like because I've had them done a couple of times, right, and the problem I have with that is I've got them done really light and natural because I didn't want to look like I had false lashes on with no makeup, it's just not really my vibe. So I was like, right, I want them nice and natural so that when I have no makeup on, like I just look like I've got beautiful lashes. And I loved them, but then when I'd put makeup on

My I needed more lash Like it wasn't enough with makeup So then I got them a bit a bit heavier and a bit more And then I found that without makeup They looked crazy. So that's when I realized this isn't for me. Okay, it's just not for me. It's not my thing So I stopped getting lashes. I think I've only had them done twice in my life. It was like a fun time and I did lowkey love having them but like not, it's just not for me. And obviously you guys know that I grew my natural lashes with a lash serum and I was using it for years and years and years but then what I'm stuck

with now is everybody on TikTok keeps throwing these prostaglandin side effects in my face and I'm like, ugh, I don't know, like, my lash serum is so good and it works and I'm nothing without my lash serum. But when I look in the mirror, like the skin around my eyes is like really dark. It's really dark and I saw like somebody say that it can cause orbital fat loss and it's really weird because I keep looking at old photos of myself and old videos of myself and I'm like I look so much healthier and happier around my eyes and I know that's such a weird thing to say but I keep saying that I'm like my eyes look younger and healthier but that was like before Botox so it's not even that there's

more lines now because I'm older. This will be like three years ago before I started getting Botox so I had a lot of creasing around my eyes because naturally I've always had so many smile lines and so much creasing around my eyes. I've had it since I was really young. So it wasn't that. It wasn't the lines and stuff that was making me look older now around my eyes and I couldn't put my finger on what about my old photos and videos from like two, three years ago

makes me look so young and youthful. And I was just like my eyes just look bigger and I can't even explain it. And then I saw this about the fat loss thing and I thought, oh my god, maybe it's that? Maybe it's that I don't have as much fat around my eyes so they look more sunken and droopier and heavier and like not as thick. That makes no sense but it makes sense to me. So then I thought maybe it's my fucking lash serum and I made the executive decision to put down the lash serum and stop using the prostaglandins however you say it because I don't know how true it is, but when you

look it up, there is so much evidence to suggest that it does. And to be honest, when you look on TikTok, so many people have used any lash serum that includes this particular ingredient or types of that ingredient and have had the same experience. I'm like, it clearly does. Like, it clearly does have an impact on like the discoloration of your skin or the fat around your eyes, whatever it is, it must have an impact, which is so frustrating because when I tell you this product changed my life, like using a lash serum was such a game changer. I've used a few and they there's so many amazing ones out there like they've all worked. Every last serum I've ever used has worked. So I was gutted that I've I sort of realized oh is the side effects worth the long beautiful lashes and to be honest it wasn't an easy answer

because with the darkening around my eyes I've I noticed that straight away when I first started using it. I noticed that from day one and I didn't care. I was like, I don't care, like it's just a bit dark and it's like I can cover it with concealer. Like who fucking cares? I've got long lashes, like try and try and take it away from me, you know? And then when I saw about the fat loss around your eyes, I then recently, like in this last two two months I started getting like pus filled spots on my lash like my waterline and when I fucking tell you they're so painful and I thought this it feels like my eyes are telling me like enough with the lash serum like enough just embrace what you've got. Anyway and then I kept getting ads for lash serums that don't have that ingredient or those prostaglandins or whatever it is.

And I know like there's one by this Babes by Babes brand, the Lash CEO, I think it's like Heather, I don't know what her last name is, but if you know, you know, like she has a lash serum, it's called like Lash CEO or something. And then I was torn between trying that and glow for it so I really wasn't sure but I went with the lash CEO and Loki kind of regretting it because my lashes are getting smaller and smaller every day.

And I miss my lash serum. I miss it. I just want a bottle full of shit. Full of pure shit. I just want a bag. So, I don't know if it's like gonna, if like the effects of my previous lash serum is now wearing off, where I'm not using that anymore, and then the new one is gonna take like a couple of months to show growth, because maybe it's a totally different way that it grows your lashes.

But for right now, I've only been using it for like two weeks, but right now, I should maybe even a week to be fair, I'm like kind of going, I'm shooting ahead but I'm only noticing a decline in my lashes and that's not to say the product is making them bad, my lashes are going back to their normal state and the lash serum I'm now using is not helping them but maybe in a couple of months because it did take me like two months to see an Improvement on every other lash serum I've ever used so maybe it's that but I hadn't noticed that they would decline So we'll see they're not like I said, they're not declining as in the lash serums making my lash worse

It's just that my me stopping using the one that actually keeps them long has, is clearly having an effect because yeah, when you stop using your lash serum you lose your beautiful length. And that's the thing, I can't use it for life can I? Oh you can, I could have and I would have. I used it every day for like three to four years. I'm, you never know, I might end up just going fucking back to it because I miss it too much. I Don't know But anyway, what boring story I just wanted to fill you in on my My lashes like what the fuck but um, nothing else is really new

Um, obviously you guys know that I had my lash, no my lip appointment cancelled and it is now five weeks with no filler. I have an appointment tomorrow. I did have one today but it got moved to tomorrow. Thank god it only got moved to tomorrow because obviously we know that the last one got moved like three weeks down the line Which is noble no one's fault. It just meant that my schedule and and Jess's schedule We were not aligning she was fully booked because she's booked and busy because she's incredible and I was just fucking busy on all the days that she was in my local Salon whatever it's called salon. No, was it called? Salon, whatever it's called. Salon? No, what was it called? Salon? Whatever.

So, finally we have a day that we're both free and it's tomorrow. So, fingers crossed, all goes ahead and I will have my lips back. I'm so excited. I'm gonna obviously vlog it. I always swell like crazy just from lip filler. Like you guys saw how much I swelled from the Dissolver I also swell like crazy just from lip filler But the more filler I got the less I started to swell like I didn't really swell that much later down the line like once I started getting top up after top up after top up, but this time it's like fresh lips So I am a bit concerned like am I gonna swell like like I used to because when I first started getting lip filler

Oh my god, I looked insane and like Chris Jenner when she had that allergic reaction in her top lip. I'm not joking But we'll see hopefully It's fine. But either way, I'm gonna take an antihistamine beforehand and some painkillers And hopefully everything will be fine. So stay tuned for that when I say tomorrow It'll actually be it already happened by now. So go over to my tick tock the vlog may be live. Who knows? But yeah, I hope you are all feeling really well Whatever is it would be that you've been up to if you manage to get to the Sabrina Carpenter concert. I'm thrilled for you You've won Jane enjoy the money. I hope it makes you very happy in life and

you use it on some lessons in grace and decorum. Do you know what? How old was that episode of Couldn't Dime With Me and the fact that it has never gone away? Like that poor man. That poor man. Well, no not not really you shouldn't have acted that fucking crazy really, do you know what I mean, that was kind of crazy. But yeah that's it, that's all I have to fill you in on to be fair at this current moment in time. It is two and a half weeks until the Basement Yard live show, I'm absolutely fucking buzzing for it. I hope to see some of you guys there, I would absolutely love to meet some of you. I already know a couple of you are gonna be there so hopefully we can bump into each other but yeah, let's just get into the episode.

Welcome to Leer on the Line. Join me every Tuesday as I dial your number for the ultimate unfiltered bestie catch up. Whatever it is, we will laugh together and guide each other along the way. Head to leerontheline.com and follow Leer on the Line on Instagram to get involved. Love you! Guys, there has actually been so much, such a beautiful response to this weekly debate, like so much excitement around it because the last couple of times I've been live on TikTok, I was gonna say Twitter then, live on TikTok, people have been saying to me like I can't wait for this weekly debate So I don't know what's so special about it, but I'm absolutely here for it. Okay, it is inspired by weekly debate

I mean by a dilemma. So let's let's go babe Somebody says I've been waiting for this one Okay, beautiful. My question is how do you cope with a mother-in-law from hell? How many of us, by a show of hands, how many of us have been in this boat before? Because I don't, I don't really think I have. I don't really think I've had a mother-in-law from hell. No, like looking back I haven't. The worst case I had was like, when I was a teenager and I had like my first boyfriend, like I don't even really count him as my life relationships now. We were like 15 and only going out for like six months, but his mum, she just didn't like

me at all. And I was like 15. I was so shy. Actually, I was 16. I was so shy. And was 16 I was so shy and every time she was around because he didn't live with his mum he lived with his grandparents so then every time she came round she was so standoffish and cold towards me and I remember once I was so insecure like I was

the most insecure 16 year old not ever but I think we were all really insecure. But yeah, like I wouldn't be seen dead without makeup on. Like you better fucking believe I'm doing a full face of Dream Mat Moose just to go up to the corner shop. And I remember it was like such a big deal for me, but I was around my boyfriend for the first time without makeup. for me but I was around my boyfriend for the first time without makeup and I was sat on the sofa in his house and she come in and she goes to me you look really ill, you look really pale, you ill. I was like no I just don't have any makeup on. She's like god don't you look ill without makeup on? It's like, you jealous old hag.

I am joking, I am joking, but as a 27 year old woman now, are you actually okay? Like, who would ever say that to a 16 year old? Imagine going to a 16 year old. God, don't you know ill about makeup? What's my god, you're really ill you look really ill. I think even to say that to someone you look really ill Is so cruel and I remember I went bright red. I was like well, I'm not pale anymore I was a red as a fucking tomato sweetheart. Thanks for that But yeah, I find that so bizarre but apart from that I haven't really had an experience with mother-in-law from hell but I imagine it's so common like I imagine there are a lot of you listening

to this like yeah can relate and I'm so intrigued to know like did it have a massive impact on your relationship because I feel like naturally it just would. Do you guys know what I mean? Like like just naturally but let's have a little look. Somebody says I don't know let me know sis so I'm getting the feeling that she is in this position right now. Stand your ground and don't let them change your thoughts and beliefs even though they try. Yeah, this is the thing. I think you need to have like a big, strong, like you need a fucking backbone. Do you know what I mean? You need some spine. You need to know like, you know what, my thoughts on this aren't wrong.

Because if, because to be honest, I'm one of these girls and if like me, you doubt yourself a lot, like you can, you can brainwash me in the click of your fucking fingers. I'm one of these girls and if like me you doubt yourself a lot like you can you could brainwash me in the click of your fucking fingers I'm not even joking not so much as I'm getting older but definitely when I was a couple of years younger I Would feel hurt by someone or whatever and I'd have feelings towards a certain situation And then if you if you sat there and spelled out reasons to me why my feelings are wrong I'd believe you and And I'd be like, oh yeah, fair enough. So with a, like a monster in law. Do you guys remember that film with J.Lo? I loved that film, Monster in Law.

It's about a monster mother in law. Get it? With a monster in law. And if they're the ones that try and like convince you that you're wrong and like you was wrong in a situation and you're out of order Oh my god, I'd be like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're so right. I'm a fucking piece of shit. You're so right Like god, I could never but so that is really good advice. Don't let them change your thoughts and beliefs like stand your ground Know your worth find a boyfriend that will stick up for you avoid

the thing is like just saying you have a Like a mother-in-law from hell does not suggest that your boyfriend Isn't sticking up for you But if that is the case and you have a mother-in-law from hell and your boyfriend isn't sticking up for you Then yeah, absolutely like that. That's just another problem Do you mean like that's a whole nother ghetto of a shy? What do you mean your mom's a bitch and you you're literally taken aside and Keep your head held high push yourself to say how you feel and avoid her as much as possible.

Yeah, this is the thing, can you be avoided? If he lives with her, if we're a little bit younger and you're living with your mum and we're not financially in a position to move out or something, what the fuck am I meant to do there? Do you know what I mean? If that's your person then you have to deal with it, they are part of the package but god it's difficult. See that is such a good point because what if like a lot of people in these responses here are like yeah end the relationship like it's just not worth

it like end the relationship find somebody where you love their family and they love you. But what if that is your soulmate? Because what if you come across the most perfect person you've been looking for your whole life? They're funny, they're kind, they're sexy, they're incredible in bed, they make you feel confident, they make you feel good in your skin, they let you shine, and then you meet his mum and she's a massive bitch. Like that isn't gonna take away all the incredible things about this part about this partner. So then what? Do you know what I mean? They are like, like this girl says, sometimes they are just part of the package because there's, there's probably people in all of our family where we, we have to warn people

about when you meet them. Just a little heads up, this person's a little crazy or this person's a little bit out there or like you know take what this person says with a pinch of salt and don't take it personally blah blah blah like but when it's the mum, understand that you will never win that argument and she will always worm her way in. Because this is the thing as well, your mum is is on a pedestal, do you know what I mean? Like she's your mum and I will never, I will never change that or convince you otherwise, that is your mum and no matter what happens she will always be your mum. So yeah like this girl says, I will never win, she will always be your mum. So, yeah, like this girl says, I will never win. She will always win.

Oh, okay. Any tips? Mine keeps asking when I'm having babies. I'm 25 for fuck's sake. I get it, like, if she's excited, but then also, then also like respectfully you don't know my fucking situation, babe. Yeah Somebody says kill them with kindness. I do I do sometimes believe that this can just anger them more Like I do believe in killing with kindness never stoop to their level always be the better person always stay true to yourself You know like don't stoop to their level But at the same time like sometimes when somebody is just a massive prick and you were just hi

Lovely it makes them fucking mad and it actually makes sometimes it can make things worse because it's like You know, I don't like you. I'm treating you like shit. we all know, it's not a secret, and you're gonna come and hear it and be all fucking smiley, I don't give a shit. It can feel, sometimes that can feel passive aggressive because it's like, just so you know, I don't really give a shit what you think of me, and although you shouldn't, really, not too much of a shit anyway, it can feel like just as aggressive sometimes, as just being like, what's your fucking problem bitch? Do you know what I mean? Which I do not recommend either. So it is difficult and I think it does depend who you're dealing with. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling.

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like can I just brush it off and just take it with a pinch of salt and be like, oh god You're like, yeah, your mom's such a bitch, right? To hear what she said to me jealous bitch And just brush it off like if I have the sick enough skin to do that I do understand like that probably is the best way forward but only if I have thick skin to the point where it genuinely does not bother me because if it bothers me then I'm in a relationship with somebody whose mum is having a negative impact on my mental health and that's a problem, you know?

Low simply cannot be done. I hate this. One of the reasons me and my ex broke up Yeah, that's the thing. It just sometimes it just can't be done Like sometimes No matter how hard I try no matter how much I just brush it off no matter how much I just Deep breath, it's not personal. She's just jealous blah blah. I Don't want that negative energy around me in my life. I really don't Mmm find a new man and think of your future children

Do you know what the future children is a good point because I'm I wanting to bring them up with a toxic grandparent You know like am I wanting to bring children into a world where there's toxicity and hate and negative energy But then also sometimes like that just can't be helped and it shouldn't stop you from You know, don't let don't let a nasty mother-in-law stop you finding your husband, you know Killer with kindness again smile free gritted teeth and wave. Yeah, I get it. I do really get it You don't I think it'll end up ruining the relationship eventually. I totally understand that, and in a lot of cases, like you probably can't come out the other side.

And I would be interested to know like what percentage of relationships in a situation similar to this like survive, you know? Talk with your partner so they understand your feelings and create healthy boundaries together. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I think that's what it comes down to as well. Can I communicate this with my partner, feel understood, feel heard, and feel like a priority?

And if not, if I'm talking to my partner saying, look, your mom really had my feelings, she's isolating me, she's singling me out, she's insulting me, whatever it is, yeah? And if you turn around and you're like, that's my mum you're talking about, you're out of order, that's my mum. What's the point?

What's the point? All right then, yeah, that is your mum. It does not have to be mine, so I'm out. But if it's like, babe, I know, I'm so sorry, she's always been like this, or even if it's, I's always been like this or even if I've never seen this side So I've never known this to my side to my mom I didn't know she was anything like this at all, but just so you know I'm with you. We're a team Yeah, if she wants you out. She's lost me as well because I'm gone. I'm with you. I love you

You know if that's the energy Maybe we can work through this you know but yeah Okay, I say we can leave that there. Okay. Beautiful. Thank you guys for all your responses. So appreciate every single input that you put in on the weekly debate. Send in any weekly debate ideas that you have. Let's get into some dilemmas. Okay, guys. I'm gonna kick it off with this dilemma today because I I feel like this is a little bit unique and and it's quite difficult.

Like I really I truly would not want to be in this position and I don't know how to find a way out but we're gonna try together. Okay. So it says for context, I've been with my boyfriend for a long time and we're in an amazing happy relationship We've been talking about the future by in house marriage kids, etc. So it's safe to say we're in this for the long run I like his friendship group Except for his best friends girlfriend

She's a few years older than me, but honestly, she's just hard work. I want to keep the peace and stay friendly, but as I've grown, I've realised I don't enjoy being around people who don't align with my energy. She's not a girl's girl at all. She says mean things about me, my boyfriend and other girls, often without thinking. She also has that one-up mentality, always needing to prove she knows more or is ahead in some way, which gives major pick-me energy. Over time, I've realised she projects her insecurities onto others and I just don't

have the patience for that anymore. I don't see how often, but when I do, I've started calling her out when she says something rude. Wow, good for you. At this point, I even turn down some plans with my boyfriend's friend group because being around her is just too draining. The reality is though, she's likely going to be around for the long run and so am I. If you were in my position, how would you handle this? Okay, that's tricky. That is tricky.

And I feel like it's similar to the mother-in-law situation because if you're pretty confident that she's gonna be around for a while it's like the mother-in-law situation like accepting somebody who's part of your boyfriend's life who You don't like and has such negative energy. The good thing is is you said you don't see her often But get into the point where you turn down plans with your boyfriend's friend group because you hate being around her. I think the only way forward is to develop more resilience towards it. Like you've called her out on it. So you've told her like you've made it clear like You're fucking bitch. Like you're being a bitch and you're being rude and it's not nice

And I don't like your negative energy and why can't we just love each other as women? Like you've made your point there and I feel like you can't keep doing that like that will have stuck with her Whether you think so or not like that will have stuck with her. So I feel like now all you can really do is just sort of Build up that resilience to a point where when you are around her, try, try, I don't know how, but try to find the strength to just separate yourself and your ability to have a good time from whatever vile shit comes out of her mouth and just try really hard to like be, if are gonna be around because I don't

think you should be turning down plans I think the only person that loses there is you and what would be amazing and I think best-case scenario is if you can be in a group of all your boyfriend's friends and her and just not be near her and not let her voice go right through you and not let the fucking annoying shit That's coming out of her mouth make you squeeze your toes because it's pissing you off that much I I know that feeling when you just around someone and the whole time you're just thinking shut up You're nasty. Yeah but if we can find a point where we

You know can be in her company and just think oh my god you're pathetic like it must be really sad like you must be really sad to be so horrible towards other people like that's just a you problem and I'm not gonna take that on as a me problem anymore if we can get to that point I think you win so maybe focus on that. I think stop cancelling plans that's not fair on you like the only person that loses there is you and your boyfriend as well actually like he wants his girlfriend in these group scenarios and you never know like well somebody as negative as that like

surely her relationship is gonna fail at some point and she'll be gone you never know but I think just focus on yourself, focus on your relationship and focus on the people in that group who you really enjoy their company. Okay next dilemma. Hey girl, it's a different dilemma for you. Lovely, I'm excited, let's go. Me and my boyfriend are so happy together and we communicate really well so no issues between us as a couple. My dilemma is I am so desperate to have a baby and he wants to wait another year. I feel like my life is on hold waiting to be a mum and I'm struggling with him pushing

it back because he wants to save but then keep spending his money and not save him. I don't want to be telling him what he can and can't spend his money on but my dreams are on hold waiting for him to say yes. Am I being selfish or is this something to bring up to him again? Thank you, love you." Okay so I do feel like this is such a difficult one and I can't imagine being in this position like if I was like right I'm ready I'm ready for a baby and I'm saying to Jamie like I'm really excited like when you, when do you think you want to start trying? And he's like, oh not, not yet, not yet, you know, let's start saving and then he's like spunking all this money.

I'll be like, well is it the money or is it me that's putting you off having this baby? Do you know what I mean? And I totally sympathise with how, how it's making you feel. And I totally sympathize with how it's making you feel. I think I totally get both sides, and I completely understand, sometimes you are just not there, and you're not ready. And the thing is, is if Jamie came to me and said, I'm desperate to have a baby, let's do it, let's do it, my response would be, let's wait another year.

And I am in the position, I am in your boyfriend's position. Jamie's not in your position, but we're both in this position, in your boyfriend's position where we're saying, let's save money, let's do it when, you know, financially things are better, let's not do this now, let's wait, there's no rush.

So I think I really understand your boyfriend's point of view. However, I completely get that you feel like the ball is just in his court and you're just sat there with this big big dream and he's like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah one day one day one day and then you're like okay well what is it and he says money. Okay money. Totally valid reason, fine.

Let's save, let's save, but then he's not saving. So the longer you go not saving, the longer you single-handedly are pushing back my dreams. So I completely get it. And I think you have a right to a conversation. He also has a right to say that he's not ready even if it's not money even if it's nothing to do with you like because me personally I am not ready and I get that and The thing is is if Jamie was really really ready

He'd probably take that quite personally now like if he was like I really really really want this I mean and I I genuinely I'm not ready If he was like, I really really really want this, I really- and I genuinely am not ready. So if I said that's him and he's like, why? I don't even have a reason. I don't have a reason. And I think you don't actually need to have a reason because I just, I don't think you should be forced to feel like you're ready. So I think you have the right to a conversation with your boyfriend because you want this so much and it's so important to you which I completely understand. So that alone gives you the right to a conversation

because it matters so much to you and you can't do it on your own, okay? And you want to be in this together with your boyfriend, you know, like I can't have this baby with my boyfriend without you being on board, you know, so it's a conversation, it's a two person thing here. So I think you can say to him like, is there a reason you don't feel ready? And you can say like, you told me it was money and you told me you want to save but I'm not

seeing you saving. And if he turns around and he's like, I, you know, I'm not trying to save but I'm not seeing you saving and if he turns around and he's like I You know, I'm not trying to save desperately. I'm just saving slowly and casually then I guess that's because he doesn't feel a sense of urgency to Have this baby which is also fine And I just think all it is is a question of whether your future paths are line in And just ask him to be completely honest and say this is a non, this is a judge-free zone you can say whatever you want even if you turn around to me right now and and told me that children is

something you never want, tell me the truth because that's the only way we're gonna we're gonna work through it is I need the truth right so if he turns around he's like yeah I definitely I definitely, definitely want them, I'm just not ready, then you just have to ask yourself if you want to wait for someone to be ready, because you don't have to, and you have every right to say, do you know what, you're not ready, this is something that is so important to me

to happen really soon and I want it now, maybe we're not right for each other, our paths aren't aligning, like I'm up here and you're back there and I'm pulling you with me and pulling you with me and maybe I just need to let you go and I'll go and find someone who's on the same path as me at the same time as me, you know? Or it's the case of like, babe, I want nothing more than to have this beautiful family with you and no one else and, I just need a bit more time

I'm just not ready but I promise you it's gonna happen and don't panic, don't stress, don't worry that it's not gonna happen just because it's not happening now, you know? I know you want it and your life is not on hold. You said I feel like my life's on hold waiting to be a mum. I think if you want to stay with this person and do it with him, just enjoy every day because you don't get this time back like before you're a mum, you don't get this time back and that time will come for you but once you do have a baby with your boyfriend like it will never be just you and your boyfriend again so enjoy this like enjoy this moment where it's just you and him because you might miss this

every now and then in the future like you might miss the moments where it was simple and it was just you and him you know because I saw I saw a friend of mine who just had a baby and she was saying that one of the scariest parts about it was like, she was grieving her relationship because she was like, it's never gonna be me and him, like just me and him ever again and part of her felt so sad and I'd never seen anybody just say that online and I have so much respect for her for saying that because I think it's so true like It is that is a sad part about Becoming parents is like you never just gonna you never ever gonna go back to before you were parents So if you decide you know what we're gonna do this next year. The plan is the ball is rolling Maybe he agrees. You know what? All know what, alright, I'll save more. I'll save more, I'll spend less, if that helps you with your reassurance that this is gonna

happen for us, I'm happy to do that. And then maybe this time next year we might be trying for a baby, who knows. Enjoy this year because, like we're saying, you can't get it back. And it's a beautiful time and it's a beautiful time It's a beautiful time that you can tell your children about you know, because I love hearing about Before my parents were my parents, you know I love hearing about when they were like in their 20s and blah blah blah and they like and their first Boyfriends and like when where they used to go on dates together or not together. My parents aren't actually together but

They were they were at once upon a time. And just things like that, like these beautiful stories that you can make over the next year and just, you know, take a deep breath because things are gonna just happen for you the way they're supposed to happen and you know, you know I'm a big believer of that so, alright. I love you so much and keep us updated. Let me know how the conversation goes Okay, next dilemma. This is a bit of a heavy one So I feel like I'm gonna do a little bit of a trigger warning It's not really I'm gonna leave out like anything too crazy because I never want this podcast to be a trigger in space, but there is talk of like Verbal abuse and emotional abuse in this, okay? Let's get into it.

Hey Leah, first of all I absolutely adore you and the pod and I've been here from the start and it's my absolute safe space. Oh my god I love you, I'm so grateful. I know this name, I can see your name at the top of the email and I know your name, I've seen you a million times and I know you've been here since the beginning I love you so much. Okay I have a dilemma and I don't think you've ever answered one like this before so I hope you can help me. It may be a long one so I do apologize. I have been with my boyfriend for four years and we have a house together. We moved in together last June and following that I was in a really dark place and it just kept getting

worse. My boyfriend has always had quite a temper and I kind of got used to it over time. He's also very blunt and says whatever he is thinking which has often not been very kind. After we moved in we stopped sleeping together and we haven't slept together for about 12 or 13 weeks. I approached the topic with Pym. I actually don't know if I can read this. And he said that it was because, this is a direct quote by the way, in quotation marks, he preferred me with slightly less weight. Fandu casino daily jackpots guaranteed to p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do.

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But when they're listening to a podcast, they're hearing A-cast ads, which are 4.4 times more engaging than with display ads. So if you want real attention, start advertising on podcasts with Acast. Start today at go.acast.com slash ads. Can we just fucking take a moment? You've gone to your boyfriend and said we haven't had sex in 12 13 weeks What what's the reason and he's turned around and said because I prefer you with slightly less weight

Do you know the words going through my mind right now like this the swear words Going around in my i'm like fucking fucking fucking yeah going around in my which I'm not proud of and really did hate myself for. I made the decision not to tell my boyfriend, probably the wrong decision. Eventually as all things do it came out and I had to tell him. He decided he did not want to end the relationship with me, which initially I was grateful for. My best friends are saying I am now being emotionally abused by him.

And I guess my dilemma is, is this reaction valid as I am obviously the one that fucked up? I have attached some screenshots of texts he has sent me whilst I have been away for the weekend with my best friends. Sorry It's so long. Thank you in advance. Love you. Bye Okay, I'm gonna read some of these messages out but most of them I'm not because they should be reported to the police, right? It says I feel like kicking your fucking car in, stupid fucking cheat, leaving our house like this, you're a joke.

You used to look pretty even when you're ugly, now you just look ugly. Low life cheating scum, lazy, ugly scum. You think I can relax while the house is like this, work how it is at the minute. You literally are the worst girlfriend known to man. I feel so misunderstood. Baby, shut up man. I feel so misunderstood. I'm so bored of wasting my breath on scum. Thickos that can't even articulate a decent or relevant response.

Absolute bottom-of-the-barrel woman. Enjoy your weekend shagging low-lives slut. Grow the fuck up. Are you thick? Oh, that I'm not reading. Actually disgusting. Your standards are all fucked up compared to mine. I'm bored now. Literally sick of you. Totally 100% sick of you. Please don't come back back, genuinely, you had your chance. Done, see ya. Right, okay. So, as you can see, you can see why I wanted to issue a bit of a trigger warning at the beginning of this dilemma, because this is not normal behaviour.

That is absolutely not normal. It's actually scary. Like, there- it's everything okay with scary. Like, is everything okay with you? Like, what the actual, what the fuck? Um, I don't, I honestly don't know what else to say besides run for your fucking life. I don't, I can't stress enough how much more you deserve. I can't stress enough how much better you are than this man makes you feel.

When at the beginning and you're like, you know, we're not having sex for like 12, 13 weeks, he's got a temper, he says things that are not very nice, and then he said that he's preferred you with less weight. That enough is enough, leave, That enough. That is enough alone. Christ, what happened to me? That alone is enough to... for me to sit here and tell you to walk away.

Like, this relationship is not good for you, you know? You deserve so much more happiness in your life than this man is bringing you and and providing you and then you cheated which Listen, everybody makes mistakes. Okay You know, I don't always I don't say once cheat always a cheater like cheaters worse from river I've always said I believe people make mistakes not just not just saying that because you're you're one of the girls. Okay, and He chose to forgive you, that was his choice. I always say this, if you choose to take someone back for cheating or hurting

you, whatever it is that they've done and you choose to forgive them, there needs to be a conversation at the beginning of this forgiveness where you get out everything you need to get out, you ask all the questions you want to ask and then you decide to move forward and leave it in the past because you cannot continue to punish someone if you chose to forgive them because you could have walked away, you could have left me, I cheated on you, you could have left but instead you chose to stay with me and just punish me and make my life hell. That is not okay. And these messages, your friends are right. It is emotional abuse. It's verbal abuse, emotional abuse. It's so much. There's so much wrong with it. And all I want to say to you is please, please, please,

please, please leave this relationship. Please. I don't say that often like every now and then I'll be like break up and break up and break up them I am literally begging you to please leave this relationship because There is nothing good for you in it. It's not even like You had this beautiful relationship You made a mistake you cheated and then now he's turned nasty. He was already nasty, your relationship was already not good. Like, please just go and spend time with your friends, which by the way I'm so glad you have, and work on yourself and be- and build yourself back up after what the fuck this guy has done to you and your self-esteem because You're beautiful. You're funny. You're kind you have your friends that love you your family that love you There are so much more to you than this relationship. This relationship is not a part of you and

you are bigger and better than than this relationship in every way shape and form and You will be I promise you I shape and form and you will be, I promise you, I PROMISE YOU, you will be so happy in the future, in a future where he is not in it and it's just been strong enough to leave and stay away. The fact that he's sending you these messages like, you lost your chance, oh fucking crying, I'm crying myself to sleep. What? You lost your chance, mate. I cheated on you because of how our relationship was and how you made me feel. That's so fucked because when men say that to women I literally just say that they're vile. And I've just said it.

But it's fucking true. No, but you girls know what I mean, but Please, you're so much bigger and better than this and I love you. You deserve so much more. You're incredible Keep me updated with that and if there's any advice or support that you need send me a DM. I'm here for you And I got you I love you so much Breakout of him and listen to the breakup episode. I love you Alright. Oh god. That was that was a scary one. Let's wrap up the episode Or if you listen to the end of this pod every week and and every episode you stay for the love you bye And you and you have a little boogie to the outro song. You are my favorite.

I love you, I appreciate you so much. And I'd appreciate even more if you listen to the ad at the end because that helps too. But I love you, I think you are just incredible, amazing. I'm so lucky you're all the best friends that I could ever wish for and dream of. And whatever it is that you're getting up to this week, I hope you have an amazing week. I can't wait to get my lips done.

I'm gonna look like a gorgeous, stunning fish and I'm buzzing for it. Have an amazing week, whatever it is that you're getting up to and I will speak to you on Tuesday for a brand new episode. Here it is, here's the outro. Alright, I love you. Bye! Fandu casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily jackpots a chance to win with every spinner and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m.

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