Leah on the Line - 18: Should I go back to my ex if he says he's changed?

Episode Date: May 16, 2022

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line! Today's weekly debate is "how do you feel about lads holidays?" and it was such a fun topic to debate! We had some amazing dilemmas this week too. As always send in your thoughts/dilemmas to [e-mail]! Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic? Not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer.

Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over.

Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side. It's getting closer to midnight I want to know is where those photos came from, who found them, what's the go? If you guys don't know what I'm talking about, that is a quote from Married at First Sight. Oh, look, I'm what, 10 seconds in, I'm already doing the Australian accent.

I did actually get a DM saying my Australian accent was really good. I do think I can do better. I think I was a bit under pressure. I got a bit nervous. Do you know what I mean? Oh, I couldn't cope with the pressure. But let me just address the elephant in the room. There was no bonus episode last week and I made it sound like it was already recorded. It was that, you know, like I was that sure it was going to, there was going to be one and there wasn't. But to be honest with you, as I said, I'm going to explain some stuff that's happening in my personal life and I really just didn't feel up to it. I didn't feel capable of doing it at that time mentally emotionally was just a little bit too exhausted and a bit too anxious but um I've had lovely messages saying that it's fine a lot

of you have kind of assumed what's going on um and a lot of you are correct but um yeah I like I said we'll talk about in a bonus episode because the Tuesdays are about you, I'm not gonna lie, I don't know if I'll be able to get a bonus episode up next week, because I am so busy, I'm going back to London for a week, and I have, yeah, I'm just gonna be really busy, I think, but, you know, if I can get one up, obviously I will, you guys know that, um, but I know you guys don't actually feel too much pressure towards me to do it I know most of you are just like look if we get the Tuesday I'm happy um but thank you so much to oh all my new listeners hello I've had a lot of loon listeners new listeners I think they've come over from Talia or from Maddie um a lot of you said that you found me on TikTok and stuff. So hey, babe. Hey, Deanne.

Love you. Welcome to the friendship group. You're safe here. We don't bitch about each other. Well, does it count as bitching about you if I talk about you in front of everyone? No, I don't talk negatively about you, do I? I've always got your backs, even when you cheat on your boyfriends. Anyway, let's get into the weekly debate. Hope you all had an amazing weekend. Hope you didn't drink too much. I mean, if you did, that's fine, but I hope nobody ended up in a bad way. Hope none of you texted your exes. Exes. Hope none of you slept with your exes. You dirty bitches. You probably did. Who slept with with their ex this weekend raise your hand well done all right weekly debate this week is do you still go on girls slash lads holidays whilst you're in a relationship and how do you feel about your partner doing it

all right i am absolutely just like i love the response to this because so many of you are just on completely different pages and that's what's that's what makes a great debate you know sometimes we're all just on the same page which is you know it's reassuring and good to know but then makes no debate this we have a debate on our hands ladies and gents so let's have a look um first off absolutely in a relationship it's so important to have time to yourself and your friends totally agree um yes if you can't trust your partner you shouldn't be with them already so yeah i suppose it is a trust thing because obviously let's not beat around the bush here the reason we don't like lads holidays etc is because you're just scared they're gonna cheat realistically right um yes i think it's

completely healthy to still have time with your friends trust is important and then here we go we have we have the debate um omg i would hate my boy to go on a lads holiday trust him but it's the nature of them okay but you know just as a slight argument if you trust him does it matter you know does the nature of these holidays matter if you trust him that he's not going to be, you know? Somebody says, I don't really mind. It depends who he's going with. I would just prefer a holiday with him. Yeah, you're like, go on holiday with me, hun.

All right? My boyfriend's on one right now in Ayia Napa. We've been together three years. I don't mind. Okay, I'm not going to lie. I'm on the side of like, I don't give a fuck. Like, if you're going on a lad's holiday i don't mind but i'm not even joking if you went to ayia napa i'd be a bit like why all the places in the world you want to go to the fucking like the land of sex like how come everyone just shags in ayia napa don't they

um i've been there not trusting and now i'm with someone i trust holidays don't faze me equally i go away with the girls to spend time with the girls not interested in guys on holiday love it yeah um I'm 29 and yes but I think it's different because we're not as wild as we used to be yeah I suppose if you were like young like 21 years old like in your prime of of like having loads of sex anyway for for boys that's like the prime age of just shagging birds shagging fucking birds that's that's the age that they usually do it unless you're scotty tea and you just never grow out of it then i i suppose it's definitely different depending on age

um depends where and with who single friends to maga absolutely not yeah a lot of you have said that about depends on the friends um i went on a girl's holiday before i met my boyfriend and loved it because i was free and it was just me and my friends but now we all have boyfriends i think we'd rather go on a city break interesting um yes trust your partner stable and happy relationship then there should be no issue i feel like it depends on the group my partner were huh what oh oh sorry sorry i feel like it depends on the group. My partner were... Huh? What? Oh, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I feel like it depends on the group my partner was going with, but I don't see an issue. Let's see.

I don't get when girls freak out and think their boyfriends will cheat on them on a lad's holiday. If they're going to cheat, they'll do it. Yeah, you're not wrong, to be fair. You're like, oh, somebody else says if they're going to cheat on you, they will regardless on holiday or in a club in my opinion yeah i get what you're saying you're like look being on holiday is not gonna make him cheat him being a dirty little cheater is what's gonna make him cheat babe it's not it's not the spanish sun do you know what i mean well we all have the same sun actually don't we that makes no sense um somebody just put haha no full stop um yes friends are as important so why would you not if you can't trust your partner to go red flag um couple holidays or bringing them

with you should be normalized more not clingy for sure but then i feel like your boyfriend should be able to have holidays with his friends so let me let me give my thoughts so my first relationship I have never felt trust like that like I could put him in a strip club with naked women and he'd still think I'm Beyonce compared to them all like I was that secure in the relationship like uh just cheating was like he would probably be more likely to murder somebody than cheat on me and that's very unlikely so he used to go on last holidays every single year and he's done it since he was a teenager and I'm talking like the Iron Appa the Shagaloof and then he ended up like traveling with them and then obviously they got a

bit older um and but they still went on their last holidays every year that we was together and I had absolutely no issue with it because I loved his friends so all of his friends were so kind like every time I'd see them and we'd hang out like they were so lovely to me um and had so much time for me and you know like and they were all really mature like they weren't like pricks and they weren't like oh fucking shagging birds mate like they weren't like that like they were just like lovely a lot of them had girlfriends but then still some of them didn't some of them were single but it didn't bother me at all because I felt like he he didn't have any bad influences around him but to be quite honest even if he did I was that secure in my relationship that I could imagine that a girl would literally put her fanny in his face and he'd be like oh get away from me so I I do think it comes down to trust but then I don't

think that necessarily boils down to the relationship you're in it can come from past experiences um self-esteem like all all kinds of things but yeah so my first relationship that's how I was feeling and then in my last relationship I found it harder to trust him just because of like things that happened in our relationship like no cheating but just like little things that would like hurt my self-esteem and make me feel insecure and stuff so I think I would have definitely trusted him to go on lads holidays and stuff and he did go on lads holidays and I didn't think he was going to cheat on me but I definitely felt a bit of anxiety and relief when he was home put it that way um so I do genuinely believe that your like self-esteem and and your security in your relationship is what

play a huge part plays a huge part in how you feel about your partner going on lads holidays to be honest um yeah let's go back to what you guys are saying um personally i think it depends on the location if it's chilled vibes i'll be fine with it yeah i do agree i do agree like like i said if my boyfriend was like i'm going to ayia napa i'd be a bit like we'll grow up go somewhere else go to mexico or something but if he was like oh yeah we're going like on a lovely holiday to Portugal I'd be like oh I love it boys maybe bring the girlfriends next time no I'm joking this is the thing like I think if they're having lads holidays I'm buzzing for you as you should you know make these memories you're young and this that's what life's about but it would be nice if you also booked holidays with all the girlfriends or just me, you know, I think that is, it is also about feeling like you're an equal priority in his life and he

enjoys your company equally as much, you know. Let's head over to the DMs because I like when you guys read some longer, sorry, leave some longer replies. Okay, let's read this one. If it was five years ago when i first met my boyfriend we'd have both been so insecure he was 19 and quite immature and i was 21 we both had loads of insecurities and trust issues at the time but if it was now he's 24 and i'm 26 we'd be absolutely fine with it if anyone is going to cheat they'll find a way to do it regardless of whether it's on a holiday with friends my boyfriend has been on freelance holidays and it's been absolutely fine and i've wanted him to go off and have fun and make memories

of his friends he would also be fine with me going on a girl's holiday but i have no girlfriends to go with oh babe same literally got two friends but i 100 can see what you're saying like when you're younger you think people are just going to cheat because you see it all the time and listen people do cheat on last holidays and girls do cheat on girls holidays like it is it is part of life but also at the same time people cheat at work people cheat in clubs um and like a lot of you are saying being on holiday it's it's not the sun do you know what i mean it's it's not the uh it's not the mexican tequila that's gonna make you cheat it's it's you being a fucking cheater that's what's gonna make you cheat so you know maybe that will make you guys feel better if i don't know does it make

you feel worse i'm not sure um i personally don't go i don't go on girls holidays in a relationship but mainly because i'd miss my boyfriend too much i also think i'm way past the age for them i'm 23 now i've only been on one girl's holiday when i was 17 but it's not my vibe at all now and i wouldn't be with someone if they were the kind of person to be out drinking all the time so i have a son and i'm more bothered about a family life now but i'm all for getting drunk together or going on holidays as a couple with our friends that would be the dream all right i like it um i feel like if you can't trust your other half to go on holiday with friends and vice versa then you should not be in that relationship a relationship with no trust is toxic and draining any healthy relationship with good communication trust and obvious boundaries wouldn't even think twice about it and that's when you know you're in

the right right partnership you can't change my mind i do actually think i agree with you i do think i agree not so drastically like oh if you can't trust your partner you shouldn't be in the relationship like you know i do actually think these kind of things can happen with time and work but um I do agree that you know if you trust someone and the relationship is I wouldn't I wouldn't use the word healthy but you know if it's in a good place then you should be like yeah babe go like like how I felt with my first boyfriend while I was just like I know that literally fucking JLo could try it on with you and you'd still go yeah she's fit but she's not Leah like that's how he made me feel and that's that's a bloody that's a good way to make your girlfriend

feel and we're accepting nothing less from now on girlines all right so yeah I love that debate I really like that a lot of you know what you expect from your relationship you have your boundaries you're like look babe if you want to go on your little shagging holidays count me out I'm not doing this and some of you are like yeah of course like you're my boyfriend I'm your girlfriend that's not going to change just because you're on holiday have a great time so yeah I do I do love the um the the self-respect we've got here galleys let's move on to some dilemmas okay this is a pretty long one but I like the sound of it so let's go okay this one's called help can I go back after this hey Leah love the podcast I found you a couple weeks ago and I'm fully caught up hope you're ready for this story so me and my ex had an amazing relationship, but had to split up because of a few issues he was having that were really affecting me.

Oh, in brackets, drugs. Okay. I've never done drugs, and it was really upsetting me. I had to chuck him out of my house, and we went no contact. A month later, I went out, and a bunch of his friends were there. Long story short, I ended up sleeping with one of them who he considers his best friend I feel like an awful person even though my friends have told me it's iconic lol I I respect it but I also have no respect for it they're still friends they still post each other on insta and I feel awful yeah you know it's we're not at the end of the dilemma but i'll just say there you know you've had sex with his best friend and that's i just always think if my ex did that to me i don't think it would my heart would never repair like that would break me um but moving on a couple of weeks ago i saw my ex out and he laid all of his cards on the table and said he wants

to try again i love him so much but the fact I've spent the night with his best friend is eating me alive. I promised I wouldn't say anything to his mate, but if I ever go back, I couldn't keep that from him. So my questions are, is an ex an ex for a reason? Has he really changed in six months and can I trust that he has? If I was to go back, do I come clean or do I continue like it never happened thank you for your help I'm sorry this is so long love you okay I'm gonna answer the let's answer them one at a time so first question is an ex an ex for a reason has he really changed in six months and can I trust that he has I I don't believe an ex is an ex for a reason I don't believe that a lot of people would disagree with me but when we did our right person wrong time debate a lot of people would disagree with me but when we did our right person wrong time debate a lot

of you said you were with somebody it wasn't working you separated for however long you got back together married had babies perfect relationship and that's why I don't believe an ex is an ex for a reason I do believe sometimes people need to separate to to you know like learn and grow and and whatever whatever it is that universe tells you that you need before you can be with that person. I do believe in that. Sorry, I'm, I sound so bummed up at the moment. It must be so annoying to hear. Um, so yeah, I don't believe in X as an X for a reason. Has he really changed in six months and can I trust that he has? I think if you could be separated from someone for six months and he still was fighting for the

relationship I think I think it's a good sign I think it's like you know if he didn't want to be with you six months is long enough to decide that like you know I don't think I've ever six months post breakup still wanted to be with that person like I don't know I think it's a good sign it's a green flag for me like it's like uh you know he what did you say he said um he said he wants to try again he's put all his cars on the table yeah and I think one that takes a lot um and two it suggests that he really does mean it and really does want you but I would want to know what was so bad about it like you said he had a problem with drugs and stuff and maybe it was this lesson that he needed of like look I can't be in this relationship if this is a problem that you're

not willing to fix and then he's had to lose you to be like oh my god I need to sort my fucking life out and he's done it maybe hopefully next question if I was to go back do I come clean absolutely yes you cannot bring a lie into the new relationship like if you do want to get back together with him one million percent that needs to come out um and his friend being like oh please don't tell him fuck off you literally shagged your best friend's ex-girlfriend like you're not a nice person doing that like I don't tell him fuck off you literally shagged your best friend's ex-girlfriend like you're not a nice person doing that like I don't think that you know he his friend doesn't sound like a very nice guy like I would never ever sleep with my my best friend's ex it's not nice behavior so I think you know you probably did it out of bitterness and anger and trying to get a stab at him. And he, what was

his friend's reason to sleep with you besides selfish reasons? Like just not nice. So I think I would 100% say you have to tell him, like you cannot bring a lie into your new relationship because you want to feel like this is brand new and it's fresh and it's healthy and it's honest and it's open first of all it will eat you alive and second of all it's gonna come back and bite you like it just will so i would definitely come clean about it and if he still wants to be with you after that then you know that you're moving forward in this brand new relationship completely honest he's put his cards on the table you put your cards on the table, you know, there's respect for one another, there's love, there's honesty, there's, I don't know if there will be trust, maybe it will take him a minute to trust you, but however he responds is going to be important, and I don't think it'd

be fair for you to bring somebody into a new relationship with you if they don't know the full extent of you, do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, I don't think it'd with you if they don't know the full extent of you do you know what I mean like yeah I don't think it'd be fair if you didn't but definitely apologize definitely tell him it's the biggest mistake you've ever made and you regret it and you would never do it to him now um and hopefully like hopefully he can find it in you to forgive him and you can move forward in a brand new relationship but best of luck babe all right next dilemma okay let's see oh okay I like this one hey Leah just wanted to say I love the podcast so much you're smashing it thank you I'm in a bit of a situation so about two months ago i started messaging this boy let's

call him joe and eventually he asked to take me out i'm two years younger than him and currently in my last year of college a level start in two weeks eek and he's in his second year at uni we met once and i was into it not wanting or expecting anything i didn't see him for a month later but still spoke a lot since then i've been seeing him multiple times a week he's paid for everything and treats me like an angel over the weekend I slept with him it was my second time sleeping with someone and he didn't use protection long so short I eventually got the emergency pill two days later and my dilemma is that yesterday I was obviously panicking and out of the blue he told me I need to go on the pill because he won't wear a condom this is a passing

comment made but it stuck with me. My best friend has a bad feeling about him from the get-go. However, everything but this one thing has been perfect. I don't know if it was an immature comment made, although he is two years older than me. Bit of background, I think it was his first time because I got that kind of vibe. Okay.

I don't know if I'm overthinking, but I just feel used and very overwhelmed by the whole thing. He also said the night of. Jokingly, you're going to have to get an abortion if you're pregnant. I quite honestly just feel like sacking it all off, especially with exams coming up. My dilemma is how do I address the situation to him? I don't even know if I like him, especially after that weekend. Okay. One thing I will say is he's two years older than you,

but did you say he's about to start uni um let me go back because I don't want to get this wrong oh he's in his second year at uni so what is he 19 like he's he's still a fucking child seriously look at me acting like I'm like 50 I'm literally 24 but yeah is he's at an immature age still to be making these immature comments so I wouldn't I wouldn't give him any credit in terms of when you're like oh you know he's older than me like you said it's an immature comment to make um to say you're going to have to get on the pill because I'm not wearing condoms is the most selfish ignorant inconsiderate just fucking wanker statement to make like there is no question there there is no like have you thought

about getting on the pill like how do you feel about the pill or like you know I don't really like condoms like do you reckon like have you ever thought about getting on the pill like it was just like well you're gonna have to get thought about getting on the pill like it was just like well you're gonna have to get on the fucking pill because i'm not putting anything around my penis because i'm a selfish twat like i'm not being funny do you understand like listen to this okay you want me to mess up my hormones mess up mess with my weight mess with my skin mess with my mental health mess with my menstrual cycle so that sex feels good for you. Yeah? Is that what you want? What a prick. Like, I'm sorry to anyone who says, oh, my boyfriend refuses to

wear condoms. I've been there and they're fucking out of order. I'm sorry. It's such a selfish thing to say. Like, you want me to have depression so that you can feel my vagina walls closer to your penis that is what you want that you think my mental health is worth that of course you think that imagine if there was a male contraceptive pill but you'd wear a condom then wouldn't you prick um sorry guys um next thing that you said um oh about the abortion fuck off okay first of all what insensitive thing to say you have no idea what anybody's been through you know to throw those comments around but we will take into consideration that he's only 19 and he's probably not thinking like that um to say something like that to someone is horrendous does he know how emotionally like painful and scarring an abortion can be for somebody like it's not just you know yeah let's

just not wear any protection and i'll just get an abortion like fuck off idiot like this boy's an idiot like the way he's talking about the female body and the female just females in general is just rude um your friend has a bad vibe so let's take that into account um to be honest you ended it with I quite honestly just feel like sacking it all off especially with exams coming up my dilemma is how do I address this situation to him and I don't even know if I like him especially after the weekend babe if you don't know if you like him there you go that's my answer to be honest you should know if you like someone like that is literally the the bare minimum we expect to feel when we're seeing somebody um I would just say you can be totally honest and say this isn't working for me I don't feel like we're compatible

um and you know you owe him no more than that to be honest um yeah i think you're worth way more than somebody just being like i'm not wearing a condom just get an abortion like shut up like i'm not i'm sorry to sound so aggressive um but yeah i'm not i'm not liking this guy at all i I think you deserve better. Okay. Love you loads. Um, and don't worry about it. Good luck with your exams.

You'll smash them. I'm sure. Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic, not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes.

Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love.

Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side. Okay, next dilemma. Hey Leah, I'm literally writing you this as soon as I got away from my boyfriend. I really need help and you're the only person I could think of who could help.

Oh, I love you. I'll try. I'll try my best. I was in the car with my boyfriend of three years when we were chilling and just having a good time and good babes we know it's toxic but we don't see each other often and occasionally we'll check each other's phone okay that's when i saw it a month of messages to his ex to be fair his ex is a lesbian and lives in australia he deleted every single message before I could read it. He deleted all evidence and I will never know what these messages between them said. He was very defensive but in

the past he's acted the same way when I think I found something bad which turned out to be nothing. He tends to act in this manner out of anxiety if that makes sense. He told me that the messages were friendly and about me and how he wants to propose. I don't think I could say yes maybe I'm saying this as just happened. But for reference I've asked him straight up in the past if he's messaging his ex because I had a gut instinct for months. So weird. That's crazy. And saw her deleted and then added back on Snap randomly. Why act so shady? Oh, by the way, she's in Austria, not Australia. I read that wrong, by the way, she came out after they dated, and they dated in year seven, oh my god, are you kidding me,

but it's odd, I don't know, my heart's broken, I feel like I don't know everything, I can honestly say I love this man with my entire heart, I just want us to be happy, but how has this, but now has this ruined it, he, okay, right, he's talking to a girl that he dated when he was 12 she has now come out as I don't like men um I'm I'm gonna go ahead and say I don't think you've got anything to worry about but I could be wrong but I personally am not going to be sweating about somebody that my boyfriend dated when he was 12 especially if she's just not actually into men sweating about somebody that my boyfriend dated when he was 12 especially if she's just not actually into men um yeah I don't know it's a bit odd that he's deleting the messages but if it was that he's going to propose to you then I kind of get why he would delete them but I've been in

this situation where um an ex deleted messages of girls several times and I'm gonna say it says guilty to me so I don't think you've got anything to worry about in terms of they were literally 12 and she's not actually into men so I think you're she's fine like she doesn't want your man but maybe he has a thing for her I don't know it's really weird to delete your messages like I said said, it does make sense that it's, if he's going to propose to you. Um, but she lives in Austria for one. So I think you're okay there. Um, but yeah, I know the feeling of why the fuck have you deleted messages? There's no evidence now to prove that you're innocent. Like you're an idiot. Why would you do that? Now you can never prove to me that you're innocent. And I'm always going to have for the rest of my life questions and I'm never going to know the truth. So yeah. What do you guys think about guys deleting messages? Like I think that's being unfaithful on its own. Like

I'm not saying it's cheating, but I think it's being unfaithful to you to have secrets and stuff and not this particular scenario because it is quite a unique situation but for me like when I found an ex deleting messages from girls um you know like exes and stuff it screamed guilty to me and he reacted in the same way your boyfriend reacted and I do get what you're saying where you think it's just like a panic like oh fuck this looks really fucking bad and I do get it but then I I just assume they're guilty because I would not react in that way like if I deleted messages to my ex and my boyfriend had found it I'd be like oh my god I am so sorry that looks fucking terrible um it literally looks like I've just cheated on you with my ex but let me tell you that's not true um yeah I would straight up be

like oh my god this looks really bad doesn't it like I would never I'd never be like oh for fuck's sake for god's sake you're just crazy do you know what I mean so you know it's interesting it is interesting um sorry I'm so blocked up ew sorry everyone I know that's disgusting um but yeah I advice wise i think maybe have another chat with him maybe maybe chat with him and just be like it's still on my mind i'm really sorry it's still really bothering me um and he's just gonna have to work a little bit harder to get your trust back after deleting messages like an idiot isn't he and let's get this clear you're not going to delete messages again are you bradley no no because look where we are all right yeah i don't think it's a sackable offense i think your relationship can come back from something like that but yeah a lot of you are probably listening thinking oh my god leah he's been messaging his ex and deleted the fucking messages

and you're telling her everything's fine obviously this is all about my opinion um sorry i hit the mic and like i said a lot of you are probably thinking uh in the bin what a cheating little scumbag but is she definitely gay like did she definitely come out as gay or is he just saying that so that you can't actually accuse him of cheating on you with her because that would be an interesting lie to be like oh she doesn't even like men like she's into women she's a girlfriend okay this is fine not not a bad excuse if it is a lie but if she's like publicly with women and stuff i i do think that's enough to be like she's not into him you could always talk to her it

depends you could say to him like do you mind if i chat to her just for a bit of reassurance um and hopefully girl to girl she'd be like oh i get i get it I chat to her just for a bit of reassurance um and hopefully girl to girl she'll be like oh I get I get it like I get that it looks a bit shady but trust me I do not like the peen and I do not want your boyfriend's peen and I'm in Austria so you've got nothing to worry about so yeah maybe there's just a few options but you'll be fine I'm sure um I hope you can figure it out love you loads next dilemma sorry dilemma. Sorry I'm so sniffly. Ew. Okay. My boyfriend and I have been together since July last year. We met through friends and have basically been inseparable since. At the start of our relationship he was very laid back which I

used to find quite hard because sometimes it felt like he didn't care. We never used to argue and the last two weeks all we've done is argue. I'm having a hard time at the moment. I've always struggled with my mental health. I take antidepressants which some days makes me feel better and other days i wish i never started taking them it's strange because they just dull out all my feelings and numb them but it just means i don't get to process or feel anything really on top of that my mum recently had cancer oh my god i'm so sorry and has been having her treatments i'm in a job i don't like I'm unmotivated angry stressed sad and just overwhelmed our first arguments a few weeks ago about the dishwasher

he'd been house sitting and I'd done all the housework all week and cooked the dinners tidied up and washed etc he was off work this whole week and I was still at work some of the days one morning I didn't have time to do the dishwasher before I went to work so I asked him if he could do it for me while I was at work. I got home and he hadn't done it which basically just tipped me over the edge. He doesn't understand why he should have had to do it. I tried explaining about different love languages but he says it's a load of shit. No it isn't okay. Grow up Steven you fucking idiot. He had been feeling really off of me for about two weeks and I kept bringing up the fact he was feeling like it and he told me i was being silly and that we were fine and then one night he randomly said i'm gonna tell you the truth i've been being off of you and really

miserable since we stayed at the house because i feel trapped and i don't want to spend as much time together he said he feels like he's an old married couple and i got upset when he said he wanted to try spending some time apart because we normally see each other every night and stay at each other's house oh my god sorry I literally cannot breathe through my nose so this is really difficult to talk um I was the one upset and he couldn't care less the next day I went to work and then he went out with my friends with your friends after work oh you went out with your friends after work because I wasn't seeing him but the whole time I was out he was messaging me asking me what we were doing tonight he ended up coming around to mine even though he was the one what in space but he came around and cried because

he doesn't want to break up and he hated the space we were okay for a few days and then he just started not wanting to spend time with me like i'll go around his house and he just sits on his xbox so i watch tv with his mom or he's around mine and he won't get out of bed and won't come and have breakfast with me he wants to be with me but not next to me or not actually spending time with me and i hate it i'm having a hard time at the moment anyway and i just don't always feel loved by him or like he cares or is interested in me he's not excited to see me he doesn't ask questions about me in my day he doesn't say i love you first and i have to be the one to do everything first in order for him to do it back i spoke to him about it and he just says he doesn't see why he should have to tell me he loves me or give me a hug or come and greet me as soon as i get to his

what the fuck say hello come over and give me a kiss you fucking weirdo um he doesn't want to try to understand or do anything slightly differently so i so that it makes me feel more loved or makes me feel okay when i would do it for him in a heartbeat i'm really torn because i think i'd rather not be with him but i'm so close and attached to his family and it's a shame because i could see myself with him long term like i think he would make a brilliant dad if we had kids we were older but i just don't know what to do and it's overwhelming please help okay oh my god i literally cannot breathe i'm so sorry everyone sounds like you're in my nose isn't it sorry guys okay babe I am so sorry you're really going through at the moment and what I want to

say to you is well done for being so strong and getting through every single day like we're all so proud of you for just getting through every day because that is, that is a lot at once. And you're so strong. Like, I don't even know how you find the strength to do this. And everyone is so proud of you. Like, all of us, all of us girls, we're so proud of you. And your mum, oh my god, sending your mum so much love. What a fucking strong woman.

Like, oh, I can't even. But, okay, let's talk about the relationship so well done for telling him how you feel and telling him what you need from him um you know mentioned love languages and telling him you know you can just come and say hello to me when I get to your house and well done for communicating your needs and being like look this is what I need from my relationship and you're not delivering. So what we're going to do. Well done. Again, proud of you.

For him to say, I don't need to change. I don't need to do anything differently. It's stupid. This guy sounds very self-absorbed. The whole like, I'm not enjoying spending every day together. Okay, so let's spend less time together, oh, what are we doing tonight, I'm crying, and I don't want to, I don't want to have space, and I just want to be with you, and then you spend more time together, and he sits

on his exports, and you just hang out with his mum all day, like, I'm sorry, I'm a real person, and this is my life, as well as yours, like, we're not all just living in your world, darling, my life as well as yours like we're not all just living in your world darling all right so as a friend I actually think this relationship is not serving you like I just think you've tried to communicate your feelings and your needs and take it from me you do not need to do that over and over and over again and watch somebody not give you what you deserve so honestly if you can be strong enough to walk away i think do it it doesn't have to be long term you know if you're meant to be together you'll be together and maybe that will be what he needs to change to be the boyfriend that you deserve but right now that's not what he is he isn't the boyfriend that you deserve like he

literally isn't you've tried to communicate you've told him this is what i need from you and he's gone no no sorry babe no i don't need to do anything differently i'm telling you that you do like i'm telling you that as your girlfriend i feel like shit and you're like well it's nothing to do with me yes it is it's everything to do with you and also he knows what you're going through he knows what's going on in your life and a decent boyfriend is going to do with you and also he knows what you're going through he knows what's going on in your life and a decent boyfriend is going to do everything he can to make make that lighter for you oh sorry i just hiccuped whether it be oh my god hiccups make that lighter for you whether it be oh my god doing the dishwasher or you know anything, whatever it takes to make your day that little bit easier. Do you know what I mean? That is what you want from a boyfriend. And I hate it. I hate

that he's, he's not doing it. I don't think he realizes how lucky he is to have someone like you. Like, you know, and like you said, you said, I think i'd rather not be with him but i'm so close and attached to his family and it's a shame because you can see did you hear my dog bark then because you could see yourself with him long term you know we always see ourselves with our boyfriend long term well of course we do like that's why breakups were so painful because you're like but i've pictured this for the next 30 years and you're telling me it's not going to happen and that is the hardest thing but you need to find peace and comfort in the fact that it's in the hands of the universe if you're meant to be together and if he's meant to be the dad to your kids he will and right now he's not the boyfriend you deserve

so walk away like it's nothing I'm sorry you're not going to treat me how i deserve to be treated okay well bye then like i've got too much shit going on to be to be settling for below the barrel not even the bare minimum like you can't even give me the bare minimum sitting on your xbox like i'm sorry i'm having a hard time do the fucking dishes um I just think I know I say this to everyone you deserve better you deserve better but honestly nothing nothing justifies it nothing justifies it it really doesn't like you've communicated it because otherwise I'd say talk to him you know like communicate what you need and how you're feeling and you know emphasize that life is really fucking challenging you at the moment it's really testing you things are fucking hard right now and i just need my relationship to be the one strong thing in my

life right now and he should turn around and go you're absolutely right i can't believe that i completely took you for granted what do you need from me tell me what you need from me how can i make your life better you know but he didn't he was like nah nah don't don't agree babe really don't agree with you there okay then you better fucking get on your bike and jog on sweetheart um you know it's a lot easier for me to say than for you to do it because I'm not emotionally involved um but you know that's what this is I'm that's why this is I'm that's why this podcast is great that's why this podcast is so fucking great no but that's why going to other people

was great because you know I don't know you personally I don't know your boyfriend I don't know your family and his family and your relationship so I can give an opinion and that's what this is you know you never have to take my advice guys like you literally you can just literally write in and I'll tell you what I think you should do and you can just go yeah no I'm not doing that and that's absolutely fine I'd probably do the same thing whenever I ask people for advice I never take it like you never do you just go with your head and your heart and usually your heart always wins but usually the head's the one you should listen to so you know I'm really proud of you for being so strong

your life sounds very challenging at the moment and the last thing you need is your relationship to be causing you more problems like fuck that do you know what I mean and the fact that he turned around he was like nah I'm not changing like oh okay then what should I just accept being unhappy like that's what you're asking me to do you're asking me to just accept the fact that I feel unhappy with you right now, okay, so I've gone, I feel unfulfilled in this relationship, and he's gone, suck it up, and get over it, because I'm not changing, yeah, that's literally what he said to you, the audacity, like, bye, get fucked, that's not happening, no, not with me, I deserve better, so, yeah, yeah do with do with that as you will you know like I said you don't have to take my advice any of you you can make whatever decision

you want and I'll back you every step of the way but yeah I love you um and I hope everything works out for the best and it will of course it will the universe is always on your side so love you and I'm sending all of your family so much love and and good wishes and hugs lots of hugs I love hugs I wish I had someone to hug right now but I don't I'm sat on my bed with a stuffed nose and I can't breathe but I do have you guys which is better than anything like I could never ask for anything more I'm gonna end this episode here because I have a really sore throat I'm very ill as I keep mentioning um and the more I talk the more blocked up I'm getting and the sore on my throat's getting um and the more horrible I sound to listen to so apologies for that as I said babes I will try

my hardest to get one out on Friday but if I don't you know pop me a message on Instagram if you do fancy chatting with me and we'll have a little chat i've actually ended up like best friends almost with one of you she messaged me i can't remember what it was about and i literally ended up telling her like my deepest darkest secrets like we like we were voicemailing for like hours and like midnight and i was just telling her everything that's why i love that's why I love my listeners because we genuinely are friends like you think I say it taking the piss I've just told someone my deepest darkest secret I just said I was like please don't tell anyone this I just trust her like I just trusted you like it's so funny um oh my god she said something to me and I said oh my god I have to talk about that on the podcast I think I wrote it in my notes what was it it? Oh, yeah, it was so funny. So she's going for a

breakup at the moment. And we were talking about like, you know, like the manifestation methods, you know, like the pillow method and the 365 method. And, and we're like how to manifest your ex back and like shit like that. And it's so funny, because we were literally pissing ourselves again. Girls are fucking crazy. like we have sat on our bed i've got a journal i've written out i my ex will come running back like this is what this is what she's telling me she's been doing like not her ex but a guy that she she wants she's like trying the pillow method the whisper method where you like shut your eyes and you envision yourself like walking up to them and whispering their ear like you will text leah you will text leah tonight like it's so fucking weird and then we think that they think

like that like when realistically they just like like wank like that's all boys do when when they're not with us like all they do is wank and work they go to work and they wank and they play their fucking xbox and we're there like writing them down on our fucking notebook and like sleeping with it under our pillow that is so weird like we're actually weirdos if you actually think about it and they're just they're like sleeping with their willy in their hand and we're like shutting our eyes like he woke up back to me he woke up it's so funny i've not manifested anyone into my life don't worry but we've all done it we've all been there so funny though has it ever worked for anybody like she told me that her friend wrote down three names of three different

boys and she woke up that next morning they all texted her so try the pillow technique guys if you're trying to get attention from a guy. I'm doing the pillow technique, but with something completely different to relationships. It's career focused. So I'll let you know how that goes. But I'm going to wrap up this episode. Yeah, like I said, I may see you on Friday. If not, apologies in advance. And I'll always catch you on Tuesday.

I'll never let you down on Tuesdays. You know that. I've never let you down on Tuesdays. Come on. Anyway, I feel so fucking ill. So I'm going to go and make a cup of tea and chill out. But have the best week, everyone. Be productive if you feel like it. Be lazy if you feel like it. Do whatever you want. Do whatever you need to do. Go get pissed up midweek if you want to do that. I mean, I'm in London this week. Who wants to meet up? Send me a message. All right, guys,

I will see you on Tuesday for a brand new episode if I'm not there on Friday. Thank you again for all your love and support. As always, leeronthelineatgmail.com. Any thoughts or dilemmas, whatever you want to say. Or at leerontheline on most social medias. All right, guys. Thank you so much. You are the highlight of my life.

And I love you more than anything. You're brave you're strong you're beautiful you're kind you're funny you're smart and um the highlight of my life I really do mean that I say it a lot but you you genuinely are the only stable thing in my life at the moment but yeah all right guys I'll see you next week I love you Love you. Bye. Bye. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait.

Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side.