Leah on the Line - 2: Could you forgive cheating if it was at the beginning & getting my mum on the line!

Episode Date: January 25, 2022

Welcome back to Leah on the Line!! I'm so overwhelmed with the love the last episode received, I can't believe we're in the Top UK Podcast Charts besties! Today we start with our weekly catch up before moving onto the weekly debate: could you forgive someone for cheating if it was at the beginning? The dilemmas are so juicy and quite tricky this week, we even got mum on the line to help us all out. Hope you love it and come back next week honeys! Be sure to be following @leahontheline on Instagram to get involved or send your dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic? Not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer.

Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over.

Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side. It's getting closer to midnight. I try to get closer to you. Hello. Hello, welcome back to the podcast. Welcome to episode two of Leah on the Line. What do you guys think about the name, by the way? I came up with it all by myself. So what happened

was I was journaling on the train and I was writing down name ideas and the first one that came to mind was Leah on the line and I was like oh it's got my ring to actually I quite like it and then I thought oh maybe don't have my name in it like do people have their name in their podcast and I was like they don't really do they so I was like oh is it a bit cringe if I have like Leah on the line like who do you think you are? But then I thought, okay, what about on the line with Leah Levine? And it's just on the line with Leah Levine. And I was like, no, it's cringe. And then I basically couldn't come up with a better name. So I literally went with my first option. So what do you guys think? Just want to say thanks so much for all the love in the last pod. You guys are my besties. Like

you actually are. I had the best day ever yesterday because it came out yesterday. Had the best day ever yesterday. Just like reading all your DMs. I was chatting to so many of you. I spent my whole day chatting to all of you. Like I literally feel like we're best friends. Do you get that vibe as well? Like I just have that vibe. So many of you like felt like I was on the phone to my bestie. I was like that is the vibe honey. Like that is why it's called Leah on the line. I wanted it to feel like you was having a phone call with a best mate or a sister. So I'm so, so happy that you guys got that vibe. I'm so happy that you loved it so much. What has been happening in your lives? So what have I been doing over the last week? Honestly, nothing. So I can't remember if I

actually told you, but I am unemployed at the moment it's you know it is what it is I was working in a bar I feel like did I say this in the last episode I can't even remember I was working in a bar um and they don't have the hours for me anymore so now I'm unemployed brilliant I literally have no income so that's great and I've been trying to find a job I had a call today with somebody at Kiehl's like the skincare brand there's a store um reasonably close to me that they had a position available um and it was it looked perfect and I'm really holding on to hope but it went really well she was really nice and she said that the um the position is six months cover for somebody that's on maternity

leave I was like oh I mean it's what it is I'll take the six months you know what I mean hun but it's not for another three weeks I was like oh what am I gonna do I can't make no money for three weeks at this month I've got my sister's birthday my nephew's birthday my Jake's birthday Valentine's day my niece's birthday honestly too many birthdays and I haven't got an income. I don't know what to do. I'm just going to have to figure it out. But apart from that, I also have an interview on Monday for one of the theatres in London, which would be sick. But it's like I have to do every show, like every show of the week.

I'll be working Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. It's just not going to work for me. Do you know what I mean? But I'll have to take it. And it's only £9.85 an hour. And to a lot of people, that's quite nice, but I live in London, and I will have to travel into central London daily for £9.85, like, oh, I just don't know if I want to do that for £9.85 an hour, do you know what I mean, honey, but I'm in a very difficult position where I sort of have to take anything I can get,

so I'm probably will take it. But look at me. They haven't even offered me the job yet. You know, I'll fucking take it if I have to. They're probably not going to offer me the job. To be fair, do you know, I've never been to a job interview in my life and not been offered the job. How big's your cock? But like, I genuinely haven't.

Oh, you can't see my earrings. I genuinely haven't. You can't see my earrings. Basically, you guys, if you follow me on TikTok and Instagram, you know that I'm doing cut downs of the podcast and putting clips on there. What am I talking about? And I bought these pink and purple tops to go with the aesthetic and like loads of pink and purple jewellery

and you can't even see my pretty earrings. I'm going to show you them. Do you like them? Oh, this is so annoying for those of you that are just listening right now which is everyone because it's not on YouTube um but head over to the TikTok or the Instagram to see the earrings oh earrings so special they literally cost me two pound from Shein don't come for me I know it's really bad fast fashion and everything but two pound earrings I mean can't say no so selfish and wrong me, but I can't help it. Like I said, I'm unemployed. I can't Photoshop anywhere else right now. Anyway, enough about me. Let's see what's going on in your lives. I actually was worried that you was all going to send me just dilemmas and not

respond to the like, what's going on in your week? Tell me the highlight of your week. But it was just so nice to check my emails. And there's so many of you just actually telling me what's going on in your week this is where I have to find the emails I try to be really organized and put them in folders um also guys next week I'm gonna have Jake and his best mate slash our flatmate Fabio on the podcast and Jake is obviously my boy I just hit the mic sorry Jake is obviously my boyfriend and Fab is our flatmate and he is single so it's going to be really helpful and really useful to have a guy in a relationship and a single guy's perspective with the dilemmas with the how does boys brains work you know and it's going to be really insightful so make sure you're emailing

or Instagram submitting whatever whatever you want to do i've also got a website you can use it's all in the link tree on on the gram but whatever whatever method you want to use get in touch if there's anything you want to know about the boy's brain if if a guy is behaving a certain way that you don't understand let me know i'll ask the boys they might be able to shed a bit of light do you know what I'm saying anyway um back to you what's going on in your lives um okay I love this one I just thought I'd let you know about my week it was my mum's 40th yesterday and I'm super busy also your mum's turning 40 my mum's 56 like like, I'm not saying she's old, I mean, love you, but, like, how old are you? 30, imagine having a, oh, wait, no, sorry, she's 40, imagine having a 40-year-old mum,

that must be so fun, might, that means, if my mum was 40 now, I'm 25 this year, now I'm 25 this year actually fuck that like fuck that I'm 25 this year like no I'm not no no no thank you well yeah like I would I would like to make it but what I'm saying is like it's just an age I'm not overwhelmed about I mean what's the word I'm not what's the word I'm looking for I'm not happy about I don't know I don't know I've got degree but you wouldn't know anyway so your mum's turning 40 happy birthday to the mum super busy getting the final parts of her party for Friday oh I wish I was going to party on Friday what day is it today it's Wednesday today you'll listen to this on a Tuesday well I don't know when you're listening to this but it's coming out on a Tuesday so happy Tuesday everyone if you're early love you love you early gang um I wish I was going to a party on Friday what are you gonna wear

I need some new clothes what I don't but I would like some I miss parties I haven't been to a party in ages because I don't really have many friends I I say, I'm going to try not to say that in every episode. It's quite depressing. I'm getting my hair done tomorrow and doing my tan on Thursday because I have no babies for the first time in ages. Oh my God, I love that. I have a little girl who's two in March. Don't you love it when they're two? Like two is such a fun age. My nephew's two and he's like okay I've got two no three nephews I'm I'm doing it in groups my sister sister number one has two boys and a girl sister number two has one boy so I've got three nephews and a niece and the two-year-old nephew you shouldn't say I don't have favorites but right now he's my favorite oh I didn't say that right now right now Frankie is my favorite

because he's so entertaining he's so funny but then like next week Miley might be my favorite isn't Miley such a pretty name my niece Miley she's Miley she's turning my nipples out oh god my nipples out my niece Miley she's turning six or five she's she's not she's not four she's turning six in a couple of weeks she's such a character she's so funny anyway Miley such a pretty name don't you think Miley Cyrus but just without the Cyrus I suppose is there any other Miley's like is that is that made up name interesting anyway oh and a little boy who's turning six months oh my god I just want to hold a baby me and my sister keep saying to each other like I just want to hold a baby and she can't have another one because she got free so she keeps putting the pressure on

me well she doesn't keep putting pressure on me but she's made a few comments being like yeah you need to have a baby and no it's gonna happen one day I pray but today is not that day do you know what I mean okay next one just came to say that my good news this week is that I had a job interview yesterday and I got the job. OMG. Congrats. I'm jealous. Very jealous. What's the new job in there? I'd love to know. I also went on a date and for the, oh, oh wait. I also went on a date and for the first time in three years, a guy actually wants to see me again. Oh my God. Stop. Don't put yourself down like that. It's not you. It's just that they went right for you okay this guy we're seeing more potential honey oh my god let me know next week or I don't know when your next date is scheduled but let me know how it goes what did you do on the first day did he take you out did you ask him out how exciting oh somebody says he went on a second date and it went

great look at us all dating this year I love that that. Oh my God, somebody says I got into uni. That's amazing. What are you going to study? I passed my car driving test. Oh my God, do you know I've never had a driving lesson in my life? I'm 25 this year and I've never had a driving lesson in my life. It's just embarrassing. Like I should be able to drive like at this big age. I've never even sat in a driving seat. Actually, I have once. I went to a beach in Breen, which is near-ish where I'm from, and my mum let me drive her car on the beach, and she was teaching me how to like, get the bite, whatever that means, like get the bite on the car, and I actually picked it up pretty easy to be fair, but then I, I didn't, I didn't realise how light you have to press a pedal on a car, like, I imagined it was like, you know, when you go to the arcade, and you play the games, and you have to slam it down,

so that's what I'd done, and it was fucking terrifying, so I've never done it again, but yeah, you only have to literally kiss the pedal, did not know that, very interesting, somebody says, what was your highlight, oh, I love that um thank you thank you for asking the highlight of my week probably was filming the podcast to be honest it probably was the highlight of my week just the whole podcast hype is really giving me some newfound motivation and encouragement for a positive year because like I said I'm unemployed I'm quite lonely at the moment so there's a lot of negativity in my life but I'm still managing to feel really great and really positive and I genuinely think that's because of you guys so love to you all somebody said

realizing it was midway through the month so paydayday was only two weeks away. Oh my God, that's me. Do you know when I, when I was working, when I was working, that's so sad. Anyway, when I was working, I would spend my wages in a week. It's so bad. I'd spend hundreds of pounds in a week and I'd think on what, where have you gone? And I think it was probably on food because I didn't really do anything like I don't really go many places and I don't really like splash out and treat myself but I managed to spend hundreds a month and I think on what does anybody else have that problem I think where have you gone I worked all month worked my ass off all month for what yeah so annoying my brother's band got signed to a record label and he also landed his dream job happy for him oh my god that secondhand happiness is the best i'm so happy for you and for your brother that's amazing congratulations my baby boy tried food for the first time and my fiancee passed his theory test

that is amazing congrats guys getting out for a walk every day felt so much better for it I need to do that at the start of the year right because I spent I spent new years in Gran Canaria it was amazing 10 out of 10 would recommend being on holiday for new year it's such a nice experience um as soon as I came home I was either going to the gym or doing 10,000 steps a day at least and I kept up for a solid seven days that that sounds really underwhelming, but it was, I was so impressed with myself, I'm really, really proud, and I've fallen off, fallen off the, uh, what's the, what's the point me even trying to come up with sayings, because I can't fucking remember them, anyway, boy, do I have a good weekly debate for you girls? Wait until you hear this. Okay. Send me in your

ideas for weekly debates, by the way. I want to know what you want to be debated about. Okay. My debate for this week was, by the way, I put these on Insta stories. So if you do want to get your opinion sent in and involved, make sure you follow an Instagram because it's always on my story on at Lear on the line, not on my personal. All right. The weekly debate is would you leave your partner if you found out they cheated at the beginning of your relationship? I was quite shocked how one-sided the response was. Everybody was on one side. Everybody was like, no, I fucking, I mean, I mean I mean yes I fucking would leave him let's read some of the responses I've got so many again thank you so much so first one yes once a cheater always a cheater do you believe that I mean that's a debate for another day but I don't think I do I don't think I do. I don't think I do believe that because I don't think cheating is always a

case of who you are. I think it can be a case of what you go through. Doesn't make it acceptable, doesn't make it forgivable, but I don't think once a cheater, always a cheater. That's my opinion. What do you guys think on that one? should we have that as a weekly debate one time um no but I know there would be so many arguments about it probably forever so pointless being together I have to find that out I I do agree with that I do think it's like yeah you could forgive but you are never going to forget that and your relationship will never be the same I mean it might, it might be. It might be. Some people might be able to just go, oh, don't worry about it. It's fucking ages ago.

I don't care. Could never be me. I don't know. Right, let me picture. Jake's just said to me, babe, at the beginning of our relationship, I had sex with somebody else. Oh, my God. It makes me sick. Do you know why it makes me sick? Because I spent a month in in Miami when we first got together oh no no I'm actually getting really

paranoid that what if he did that what if that actually happened because I I was in America for a month like what if he just couldn't stand not having sex for a month and he just went out and got it because we was only early days he weren't in love with me then I mean he was saying he was but he probably weren't no if any one of you shagged my boyfriend when we've been together tell me now actually don't okay that's another one would you rather never find out because that's quite bad but I think I would I think I'd rather never know because I will read out some of your opinions um in second, but let me say this, I genuinely think if that was me, and Jake had said that to me, I don't think I'd leave him because I couldn't trust him again, I do feel like if it had been a couple of years, or a few years, it'd been a while,

couple of years or a few years it'd been a while I do feel like I could trust him again but I feel like I would leave because it would hurt me so much that I would never look at him the same so I don't think I would leave because I think you're a liar you're going to cheat on me again I think I'd leave because I would just see him as this boy that's, that's broke my heart. So that's the interesting thing because it's like, you could get over it and go, yeah, do you know what? It was, it was four years ago. I'm not going to throw everything we've got now away because of something you did four years ago. But could you how could you like how could you look at them the same like you just be like this whole relationship was built on lies and if we haven't got trust and honesty honey what have we got that's tricky anyway let's see what you guys

are saying um if they cheat once they can cheat again and they've lied to you for the whole relationship interesting somebody says probably not if we've been together a while and it was years ago my trust would drop a lot though for sure see that's the thing because it's like you would stay with him but you wouldn't trust him and that that that sounds miserable to me as well that is the difficult situation it's like he's absolutely fucking ruined everything and it's like I could stay with you and say I'm not going to throw this away I will forgive you and I'll stay with you hiccups sorry guys but I'm going to be miserable so I might as well leave you be miserable for a bit and then find happiness with somebody else or alone then stay with you and be miserable for however fucking long it would take oh right moving on to some of your opinions

again um I think it would have a big effect on the relationship because you would gain trust issues I would be questioning why it's only just come out now I think there would have to be a good sit down and talk about it before making any decisions. But me personally, I think I would leave. What makes you think it's okay to do it then and not now? Okay, let me say why I think it would be okay to do it then and not now. It would never be okay. Cheating is never okay.

But I do think it's different if you cheat at the beginning of a relationship. And here's why. You're not in love at the beginning, right? When you're with someone at the start, you just fancy them, right? You just fancy each other. You're not in love. You're just friends that fancy each other and sleep together. That's a relationship at the beginning no surely you're not in love your heart isn't in it your head is and your dick's or fanny do you know what I mean is that is that weird to say that I think before you love someone you just fancy them no is that dumb I don't know so I feel like you could go on a night out and do something like sleep with somebody or whatever because you don't love that person yet and love surely is what makes someone committed to you and yeah no I don't know is that really dumb to say let me know what you think um back to you guys absolutely your relationship would just be a big fat lie and

make you question everything that is the truth like you would be like what the fuck else like this whole time also imagine how upset you'd be at that keep it in the mic sorry guys imagine how upset you'd be at that person that that like slept with your partner that knew the whole time and just like didn't tell you imagine that oh my god listen to this right this is a dm i got in response um blah blah i met my current boyfriend at 16 and it's been five years. Okay. We both cheated when we were 16, but we were children. So neither of us really consider it cheating now that we are 22 slash 23. If I met someone new at this age and found out they cheat at the beginning, then I'd leave. So they both cheated on each other, but they go, we were 16. Like, he fucking cares. What? I mean,

I kind of get that you're young and not so serious, but oh, as if you both done it. Naughty, naughty. Somebody said, me and my boyfriend had this exact discussion the other day. I think it would depend what they'd done and who with. If they had contact with a person, oh, if they still had contact with a person and knew them, it would be issue oh my god could you imagine if it was like their friend or like somebody they work with or like somebody they always told you not to worry about and then they'd go okay three years ago we did have a little kiss i'd be like you both of you are snakes. I'm not a hunter. It's a disrespect. Like it's muggy, isn't it?

Now, listen to this. Okay, this girl says, it was so hard finding out my partner had been messaging slash meeting a girl behind my back at the beginning of the relationship. But by the time I'd found out, don't get me wrong, I still went absolutely crazy. We had moved in together. We was trying for a baby and I felt like it was just too much to lose over something that felt like so long ago.

I wouldn't say it ruined our relationship at the time, but there was definitely some tension between us for a while. But I'm now days away from welcoming our son into the world and we're stronger than ever. So the answer to your question is no, lol. Oh my God, that is true. That is something we need to consider. Imagine you found out, but you bought a house, you had a baby and then he's like, oh yeah, I was meeting another girl. Like, are you going to throw away everything over messages? Like, I think that's forgivable oh my god Jake if you ever do that to me I swear to god I will fucking kill you and the girl trust me oh my god this is the thing you can't admit that you'd forgive it because then Jake's gonna go out and fucking do it the twat no he's not he knows better than that he knows better than that. He knows better than that. He knows

I'm crazy. I'm not crazy. I am a little crazy. Um, what else have we got? Oh, okay, guys. Somebody said, I would leave my partner. My boyfriend went to Cavos two weeks into our relationship and remained loyal. I asked him why, and he said he, oh remained loyal I asked him why and he said he oh no I asked him why he said oh fucking hell yeah I asked him why he wasn't tempted and he said he knew already how much he liked me and didn't want to mess it up I totally agree I think if you really see potential this is still her by the way I totally agree I feel like if you see potential with someone it's not worth losing that trust no matter how early on if he came back from that holiday and said he'd done something then I think I would have had to leave I know it would have turned me a bit crazy and untrusting down the

line that's true because I went to Miami in Feb and me and Jake got we met in December and we were official like three weeks later yeah and everyone was judging but look at us now baby it's been two years no one was judging literally no one cared um yeah and I went to Miami a month and a half after I met the boy well actually it was about two months after I actually met him but month and a half being serious and I would never have of of straight swayed swayed strayed gone astray what's the word oh my god what's happened to my fucking vocabulary today anyway I would never have done it and you know I was out in Miami surrounded by young people in their 20s all out there working and I couldn't even imagine it I used to go to bed every night cuddling my teddy that Jake got me.

That when you squeezed his hand, it would speak. And it was Jake going, hi baby, I love you so much. And yeah, that's because I didn't want to lose Jake. And I couldn't think of anything worse at the time. I mean, still now, but I still couldn't but you know what I mean so yeah you're right actually basically don't forgive them unless basically I don't know I literally don't know this is why the debates are so difficult for me because I don't fucking know where I stand ever um let's read a couple more oh somebody says once a cheater always a cheater don't agree

with you honey really don't oh another one once cheat always a cheat absolutely in my experience if they do it early on they know they can do it again that is the truth as well you're almost showing somebody what you allow for yourself like what your boundaries are you're like saying oh all right cheat on me then do you know what I mean now I'm not saying once cheat always a cheater but I am saying if you show somebody you allow it are they gonna do it again thinking she'll fucking get over it she got over it last time who knows um how could you trust them after that I'd be thinking about it 24 7 relationships always end the way they started oh do you reckon let me think about this trying to think about how my past relationships ended no actually I would disagree

because one of my relationships started where I was interested in him and he wasn't really interested in me and the relationship ended where he was interested in me and I wasn't interested in him so does that prove the point or argue it because the roles are reversed but it's still the same shit foundations you start the relationship based on lies true yeah my best friend is still dating her boyfriend who cheated on her red flag do you know you know why it is? Do you know why? Because it's easier to stay than it is to leave. Leaving someone is so difficult, especially if they've hurt you because they haven't broken up with you. They've broken your heart and shattered you in the relationship without breaking up with you and you've got to be the one to leave and it's fucking hard it's so hard to I've never oh my god touch wood no one's ever cheated on me I fucking swear

to god I couldn't I could not cope with that shit I could not cope with that but I just really feel like leaving someone is so much harder than than them leaving you like I'd rather you left me than cheated on me and asked me to stay because it's like I can't leave you I'm in love with you I haven't I haven't fallen out of love I want this relationship you fucking ruined it and now you're asking me to stay do you know what I mean anyway what a topic for debate, girls. Do you know what I mean? Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic, not the ideal weekend plan.

Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love.

Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido.

At your side. That was stressful. I feel like Jake's cheating on me. Now, when I get into bed tonight, Fido. At your side. That was stressful. I feel like Jake's cheating on me. When I get into bed tonight, I'm going to have one of those crazy girlfriend moments where I'm like, when I was in Miami, did you have sex with someone else?

And he'll be like, where did you get this from? And I'll be like, I've just been fucking thinking about it all day. But I won't do that to him because I've literally made that up out of nowhere. And I do that sometimes. Anyone else do that? I should make things up. But I do that to him, because I've literally made that out of nowhere, and I do that sometimes, anyone else do that, I should make things up, but I just say to myself, like, I bet he fucking cheated on me when I was in Miami, and he'll be like, what, like, on what grounds, on what facts,

what evidence have you, have you got here to be giving me this shit, and I'm like, just shut up, you got here to be giving me this shit I'm like just shut up you little cheater you fucking little cheater shut up anyway let's get into some dilemmas oh my god when I tell you my inbox is rammed I had to make folders I already said that but I had to make folders to organize it because I was just getting so lost in all the dilemmas but um I'm grateful don't get me wrong I'm so happy not happy that you guys are having problems but happy that you want me to talk about them because otherwise this podcast wouldn't exist okay let's get into this my dilemma is I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now we've had such a great relationship so far have only argued about very minor silly things which is great he really does spoil me and treat me so well and i never have anything to worry about oh my god

amazing however i am such a words of affirmation gal love language and i feel he always shows me he loves me but i really want him to say cute things to me and give me those words of reassurance how do i tell him this about sounding weird and needy he is not really the soppy type and I know his love language is not words of affirmation so he probably doesn't even realize we know this because we did the love language quiz online together would recommend all couples do this I know it sounds silly because he is perfect in every way but this is how I'm feeling love you love you too love you more oh my god this is why love languages are actually really important so for anyone that doesn't know

there's five love languages let me try and remember them off the top of my head so words of affirmation quality time um what else is there? Worst affirmation, quality time, um, oh, acts of service, physical touch, and gifts, right, that's the five, my number one, because like this girl did, there's a quiz online, everyone, I recommend you all do it, especially with your partners,'s really really interesting my number one is quality time and so is jake's thank god but for example right this could this is almost like what's happening with you it's like my number one being gifts and jake's number five being gifts and i'll be like you don't ever buy me little gifts like you don't ever just like go to a shop and get me some flowers and gift them to me or like order me some something offline and give it to me like why don't you ever do that and he'll be like because that's not you know it's not important to me and

i'm like but it's important to me and if you don't get me these gifts i don't feel loved and he'll be like but i don't need gifts from you to feel loved and we're not we don't understand each other we're not speaking the same language yeah so that's what's going on here but this is the thing you could say to your boyfriend babe I love you okay I know you love me you're an amazing boyfriend I love you so much but if you could just like tell me every now and then that I'm like you know just tell me that I look nice tell me I'm pretty tell me that you find me really funny tell me that you want to marry me like just I want to hear it he'll be like but babe you know that like you know that I don't need to say that and you'll be like you don't need to say it but I would I'd appreciate it I'd appreciate it I it would mean a lot for me

to hear it and he'll be like but I don't need to hear that from you because like babe like I know you love me and you're like you're not understanding me so this is the thing you know he loves you you said that you said that he spoils you so maybe his love languages gifts or acts of service like he spoils you and to you that doesn't mean anything you're like spoil me as much as you want babe but at the end of the day I just want you to lay in bed with me and tell you that doesn't mean anything you're like spoil me as much as you want babe but at the end of the day I just want you to lay in bed with me and tell me that I'm pretty or tell me that you love my eyes or tell me that you love my laugh or tell me that you love my kind heart like that is what's important to you and that is the difficult thing about having different love languages but luckily you said you know he loves you he treats you so well and you never have anything

to worry about so I think maybe don't worry about it like you could say to him babe I'd really just like you to say it a bit more because that that's what's important to me and then he he'll turn around the next day and be like I love you so so much. You are the apple of my eye. I cannot wait to see you walk down that aisle. I can't wait for you to have a big baby bump and know that we're building an amazing, beautiful family together. I can't wait to be the father to your children. But deep down, you might be going, well, do you even fucking mean that? Are you just fucking saying it because I just told you to say that do you mean it or you're just saying that because I've asked

for words of affirmation so like can he win because if I said to Jake I just need you to do this more if you'd done it I'd be like well you're only doing it because I told you to so like he wouldn't actually be able to win with me but then I'm also like not normal so it depends how it would help like if he did go right okay I'm gonna make a I going to make a solid effort to really tell her how much I love her. Because that's what she needs from me and that's what I'm going to do. I mean, relationships are about compromise, yeah? So this is what I need from you. This is what you need from me.

Let's do it. Let's do what we can to make each other happy, make each other feel loved. When he does it, are you going to feel good? Or are you just going to be like, do you even fucking mean that? And like, how long can he keep it up? Because it's not natural to him. It doesn't come natural. So what if after a month he falls off of it and he's like, you know, we're in a great place. I don't need to tell her that anymore. And you'll be like, he was showering me with love last week and now he's giving me nothing. he was showering me with love last week and now he's giving me nothing do you know what I mean like what if I don't know I'm not very guys I think I should stop this podcast every dilemma

again oh I don't know don't know don't know what to tell you so yeah I'm not gonna stop this podcast but yeah I do think you could ask him if you think that would work for you you could definitely ask him to make an effort to to say more and also in that conversation make sure you ask him what he needs from you because that's also important um and yeah see if that helps you but if you feel like you might be like do you even fucking mean a word you're saying maybe just remind yourself that that's not his love language and like you said he absolutely loves and adores you no matter what comes out of his mouth like he's not saying that he loves you but he's showing it and maybe just try and make that enough if you can you know um all right i love you okay this is a good one right she said um i've never been jealous jealous I've never been jealous in any of my previous

relationships probably because they lasted years but I'm with my current boyfriend of five months I'm suspicious about everything all he does is work and sleep but I know girls have messaged him before and I'm often worrying that they're still trying to talk to him and he's hiding it. Is it off put in when a girl is jealous and asks lots of questions? He offers to show me conversations and even delete apps. Oh, and even delete apps if it will help. But I don't want to be that girlfriend who demands things like that. I'm hoping as we stay together and our relationship develops, I learn to trust him more. He doing anything that makes me worry it's not him personally it's just my brain I think I'm just feeling vulnerable and I've fallen in love and it scares me that I'll get hurt I don't

want to ruin my relationship by worrying so much and being so jealous but he says it's a lot to cope with any advice um she did say that this one was for the boys next week i just know what they bloody say to be honest um they just be like well you ain't doing nothing wrong like you said if he's not doing nothing wrong why why do you trust him so like we'll just pretend that the boys don't exist for today um look i think like you said you know, all he does is work and sleep and you know, it's probably you being paranoid. So I think it's okay to have the odd conversation with him and be like, oh, is it just me? Like, I'm definitely overthinking things, but I just wanted to talk to you, get it off my chest. And once he's given you that reassurance, like you said,

he's offering to delete apps, letting you go for for his phone he can't really do more to earn your trust and I think now that he's said these things and done what he can and you've had these conversations now it's up to you to be like okay the more I say all this shit I'm probably just gonna push him away and piss him off like it's just imagine hearing that all the time as a girl imagine your boyfriend was constantly like are you fucking messing with other boys you'd be like oh my god babe I've told you I'm not but she told you I'm not so I think now it's up to you and it's a bit of a you situation that you need to work on and say I'm not going to push this onto my relationship anymore I'm not going to cause this friction I'm not going to do it to myself you deserve more peace and and to be more relaxed in your

relationship like you said he's not giving you any reason to think this so just do you owe it to yourself to say stop in your mind and go do you any reason to think this so just do you owe it to yourself to say stop in your mind you go do you know what stop doing this to yourself just enjoy your relationship he's a great boyfriend I've got nothing to worry about and until I see any red flags I'm not gonna I'm not gonna feed into it anymore just allow yourself to be happy and and be happy in a relationship with somebody that you can trust because I think for him to say those things is really nice the fact that he's still being really patient with you is really nice so yeah definitely appreciate appreciate his response and be grateful for that but um yeah do everything you can in yourself because you deserve to just be happy with your boyfriend you know you've got absolutely nothing to worry about I don't think

so just be happy and enjoy it and until you somebody somebody gives you any reason to be worried don't worry like we said last week girls worrying is the most useless emotion all right love you oh okay i love this one i have a problem i've been with my boyfriend for just over two years but i think i'm unhappy he's such an angel and would do anything and everything for me but something just isn't right i think maybe i'm missing out on the single life i never had as i've been in a relationship since i was 15 or is this just a honeymoon phase fading out we're starting to bicker more and more and I find myself not enjoying or seeking sex with him I just feel like something isn't right but I don't know what any advice I'm

scared to throw it all away and then realize I've made a huge mistake oh hun it's a horrible it's a horrible way to feel because it's like you just want feel, because it's like, you just want to turn it off, don't you, you just want to go, why can't I just fucking be happy with this boy, why can't I just get rid of these horrible thoughts, because he's lovely, he's great, now, I've been in this situation, it was actually probably around the same time you're having this problem, so, like, like you said, you've been together just over two years. I'd also been in relationships since I was 15. And I was like, do I want to meet someone at 18 and that be it?

Because I met him at 18. I was like, do I want this to be it? But then I'd go to myself, but he's lovely. Like, he's so sweet. He'll never cheat on me. He'll never hurt me. My family love him. Like, he's so sweet he'll never cheat on me he'll never hurt me my family love him like he's lovely and then I'd be like but I don't want to look back when I'm 70 and be like you didn't even

live you didn't even experience like who is Leah and I I didn't know who Leah was without a boyfriend and it was really important for me to figure out who I who I was so I actually ended the relationship on those grounds of I just want to be single and by that I don't mean I want to go out and get those dick like that wasn't what I did at all but it just meant I just wanted to go out and just figure out who Leah was um and I did and I have no regrets um you said that you're scared to throw it all away and this is the thing like in my case I was petrified to throw it away because he was he was lovely but I had to prioritize me and there's there were definitely moments where I thought I've fucking blown it like I'm so miserable on my own I just want a fucking boyfriend and I had a great one but now that I'm where I am now in my life I really am proud of what I did at that time because

that's what was right for me at that time so I think sit on those feelings for a bit um my gut instinct is that they don't really go away like when you have that feeling like I'm sorry to tell you this and if somebody had told me this when I was going for it I would have been devastated to hear it but those doubts they might go away but they come back they do um and I just really wanted to to be really happy with him and then I would be again but the feelings will come back and the thoughts will come back so I think sit on it for a bit don't make any rash decisions um it's difficult because I never want to tell somebody what to do in this situation especially something as serious as this like you said you never want to look back and and say you've made a mistake so I would never want to

be part of the mistake um what would I do if I was in your position? I would talk to my mum, to be honest. Shall we call my mum and see what my mum thinks? Let's call my mum. Hello? Hi, did you ring? Yeah, I just hung up, but I do actually need to speak to you. Go on.

I'm recording the podcast. Yeah. I need your advice. Go on okay she said um she's in a relationship and she's been in it for two years yeah but she thinks she's unhappy she said he's an angel and would do anything for her something isn isn't right. She thinks she's missing out on the single life. She's never been single. Is the honeymoon phase fading out? Or does she want something more? And she doesn't want to sleep with him or have sex with him.

But she doesn't want to make a mistake and throw it all away. That's a lot of take in there, isn't there? There's loads to cover in that one. Yeah, well, she basically is just feeling like oh am i bored or do i throw it away and be single will i regret it what would you say if it was me the way i look at it right is if that person's not in your life yeah what's going to be different what are you going to be doing that's different? That's true. Why all of a sudden, that person's not there, are you going to go, I'm not bored anymore?

Yeah, that's true. Maybe she just wants to have sex with people and stuff. Yeah, so, you know, what is that about? You know, could you not spice up the sex life with the person you're with? Yeah. Or do you not fancy them no more? Because it does get boring after a while

because you get to know what's expected, what you're going to do next and things like that, don you so you have to book like weekends away add special nights in you know do start introducing different things in the sexual relationship to spice up a bit don't you because otherwise yeah it's gonna get boring isn't it yeah you know unless someone makes the effort and does that sort of thing sex does get boring no matter who's what you know in a long-term relationship doesn't it well i don't know does it yeah yeah all right if they both sat down and said what is it that you feel that you'd get from someone else you're not getting from me and see if that person can feel that in the relationship first yeah yeah yeah like i said

she was going to that thing when someone says they're bored in the relationship first yeah yeah yeah like i said she was going to that thing when someone says they're bored in a relationship are they actually bored in a relationship or actually bored in themselves or bored in their life yeah because sometimes you're with don't you sometimes yeah because sometimes you crave that that like butterflies feeling again and like texting and dates but then you could do that with somebody else but then that will go with them as well but don't you feel like with this feeling like it might go away but it always comes back what the feeling what the board's feeding yes in my experience like you'd go oh i just wish i wish i didn't feel like this because he's so nice and then that feeling would go away and then you'd

feel like oh actually i'll stay with him forever and then it comes back yeah but i think like i said i don't is it because you can grow apart from each other can't you some people meet each other when they're still developing themselves and they just end up going different paths in life and they don't end up suit for each other yeah that's the sort of conversations that you need especially when you meet young what am i not giving you to find out if you're suitable anymore you know what i said to you before it's like say write down the top things that you want in relationship and number one could be fun yeah and on their list it could be number five so it's like well yeah and then in in three years time in three years time your fun might be number four yeah when when they first met they would have met their needs but now when someone

get us old and they get more content they say well my number one is just to feel settled and confident in the relationship and the other person won't even have that on their list yeah they might want good sex and you know the other person's sex might be right down the bottom yeah true so it's like how do you balance that and get those meet each other's And yeah, they might not be compatible no more. And so that's why relationships become what they think. Use the word boring, but you've got to say, what do you mean bored? What are you bored with? Yeah.

And then once you find out what their definition of bored is, because your definition of bored could be completely different to my definition of bored. Yeah, she said they're bickering more. I go to work and I'll come home and I have my dinner and I watch TV and I'm bored. And I'll be like, oh, that's all right to me. Yeah, that's true. But she said they're bickering more. Yeah, and what are they bickering for?

Because what, she's fed up and bored? Yeah. And she's getting frustrated. And the thing is, sometimes... When someone's bickering, there's frustration a lot of it, isn't there? Because then obviously you just need to communicate a lot more by some bit. Sometimes when you get to that feeling of like, oh, they're just fucking annoying me. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Like when you don't fancy them anymore, they just annoy you. Yeah, and that's more about how you feel about yourself though, isn't it? All right. Thanks, mum. All right. Thanks for your wise words. Oh, are you?

I'm pointing my other finger in my ear a lot of time trying to hear what you're saying oh thanks for your help all right good luck yeah love you bye love you bye there you go everyone that is the wise words from diane my mum's name is and she has a twin sister called leanne diane and leanne do you know my mum's a twin and i'm a twin as well anyway yeah i think my mum's name is, and she has a twin sister called Leanne, Deanne and Leanne, do you know my mum's a twin, and I'm a twin as well, anyway, yeah, I think my mum gave some really great advice there, honey, I hope she helped, um, I take back everything I said, I was wrong, my mum should start a podcast, shouldn't she, I shouldn't have, like, go on, hun, oh, fucking hell, my nipple's out again, one sec, all right, how long have I been chatting chatting for oh my jesus I've been going on okay I'll do one more dilemma hiccup sorry somebody did say that they wish the last episode was longer I

thought blimey really but okay I'll do a bit more for you then whatever okay difficult one ready everyone ready for this get comfortable comfortable. A few months ago, my best friend, let's call her Molly, and another friend, let's call her Jess, hooked up. Right, so Molly and Jess hooked up. It was the day after Molly had broken up with her boyfriend and Jess was in a relationship at the time. Ooh. So Jess had cheated on her boyfriend. None of us knew her boyfriend, so to be honest, no one questioned her or thought anything of what had happened i mean that's a bit weird i would question it even if i didn't know the boyfriend wouldn't you um recently i saw a picture of her and her boyfriend on instagram and suddenly felt really bad for him that he had no idea about what

had happened also one of my friends had been cheated on recently and I saw how much it hurt him. So I feel like Jess's boyfriend deserves to know. I know it may not be my place to say anything or get involved, but what do you think someone should do if they know that someone's girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating on them? Right. My straight up thoughts were, if that's my friend, if my friend's cheated on her boyfriend I'll go babe I know you love your boyfriend well she might not I mean no I don't know you cheated on your boyfriend I don't really know how you feel about him to be honest I'd be like look I would never want to cause you any drama but you've done something and it your actions are gonna have consequences and your actions are gonna have consequences and your partner deserves to know and me as your best

friend I will be here for you to pick up the pieces you've you've done a shit thing yeah but as your best friend I will be there for you I think what you've done is wrong and if somebody treated you that way I'd be fucking disgusted. But as your best friend, my responsibility is just to be there for you to pick up the pieces, right? But you need to tell your partner. Yeah, I would have to say something to her. I don't think I would ever go to the boyfriend and be like, just cheat on you. No, I don't think I've got that in me I don't think I could do that that's that's tricky you're in a tricky situation I hope you can figure that

one out and I hope Jess's boyfriend's okay because poor Jess's boyfriend you know what I mean and also Molly not nice of you to sleep with somebody that had a boyfriend so lots of villains in this story that I don't like and I do love you all all right guys I think I better wrap up the uh the app I've been talking for ages this is a longer episode than last week I hope you guys loved it let me know what's your ideal length of a podcast. I'd say mine's about an hour because I like to come and go from the episodes, you know, like I'll put it on when I'm getting ready and then I'll come back to it later when I'm cooking dinner, do you know what I mean? I like to come back to it. So yeah, let me know what you guys thought of this episode.

Send me in your thoughts as always, dilemmas, weekly debate topics topics tell me the highlight of your week this week have an amazing week smash your goals um have a positive week it's Tuesday it's still the start there's still time if you had a shit day yesterday there's still time to turn the week around doesn't mean that the whole week is going to be shit okay Mondays we're allowed to have shit Mondays Tuesday we're gonna have a great day all right guys love you all so much remember social media follow atlea on the line on all platforms i love you guys so much bye We'll see you next time. more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait.

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