Leah on the Line - 20: Questioning your sexuality & how long should the honeymoon stage last?

Episode Date: May 30, 2022

Hey babes! This week we discussed how long should the "honeymoon stage" last? Super interesting debate! We also had some great dilemmas... Do you follow your head or your heart? As always send in your thoughts/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 It's getting closer to midnight, I try to get closer to you 🎵 Hello! Hi everyone! Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. How are you? How you feeling? How you feeling this gorgeous Tuesday? I bet it's raining right now when you listen to this it has been shitting it down all day today it's so fucking depressing i did a food shop today went to audi just say audi or aldi audi's fucking legendary mate it's so good i've got these really nice looking um veggie burgers and this like spicy red leicester cheese can't wait to try it i'll let you know how it is um what's new how's things babes thanks so much for the response to last week

episode last week's episode honestly your dms are just always so nice i just i don't know why i have to say thanks every week because you're never horrible to me like you're literally the nicest people i've ever met in my life so i do absolutely love that from you um speaking of um if you don't follow me on instagram you may not have seen but I'm thinking of not releasing merch because I'm not pathetic. No, I don't. I think merch is actually really fucking cool, but I just don't think people actually want merch from me. Like, grow up, Leah. But I love the thought of us all having like matching t-shirts. Like I have this massive baggy pink t-shirt that I live in and I love it. It's like my favorite top. I love being in a big giant pink t-shirt. It's my pajama top. It's my fake tan top. It's my cute baggy t-shirt and denim jeans top. Like I love it,

right? And I'm like, I was thinking like, I'm just going to make one for myself that says Lea on the line on it or just like something cute and just keep it and just be like, this is my little capeseek, keepsake. Wow. But then I thought, oh my God god what if I got some for you guys but not to like sell like not as like a buy my clothes make me money kind of thing I was literally just going to be like when I get some money next I'm gonna like bulk order a ton of them and just do like some giveaways on Instagram and just like send them out to you for just for like being my besties so we can all match well that's the thing I can't buy one for all of you because I'd have to re-mortgage my mum's house and I don't think she's I mean she supports the

podcast but that's a bit far so um I'm a bit stuck because I mentioned it on my stories and I was like you know like what should I write on it and you guys came up some really good quotes but a lot of you sent in messages with really good points saying like love the idea hun but i also want to buy one in case i don't win so it's kind of a good point because it's like i can probably only afford like 20 to buy it for like 20 of us or 25 maybe depending on how much these t-shirts are and then then what what happens to the the other i don't know how to do maths right now a few thousand of you that didn't get one then you're like left out and then I feel like the bitchy friendship group that leaves everyone out like you can't sit with us you don't have a t-shirt you can't sit with us

and then I'm like that's not very nice actually so then I was like oh maybe there's a way I can set it up so you can buy them but then I'm like but then I don't want this to be like a gross money grabbing thing so I'm like oh I'll just like sell them for as cheap as I can so then I put up a story saying like how much are you willing to pay for a t-shirt and I'm not gonna lie most of you are like eight pounds ten pounds twelve pounds and I'm thinking I'm not Primark hun like I don't actually have this sort of budget you know I mean I can't like I'm not a big warehouse making these clothes paying my workers 2p a day that can afford to sell my clothes for eight pound a top like i'm not okay i'm gonna be charged in small business prices and they're not eight

pound t-shirts and i'm panicking i'm gonna lose my job i don't have a job do you know what i mean so i'm like a bit stuck but i'm gonna figure it out um i have someone that's helping me try and figure it out so i can sell them as cheap as possible. And we can all match. And I will obviously still do the giveaway, don't worry. But yeah, do you like that idea? I feel like it's a pretty good idea. Also, breaking news, I'm on Cameo.

If you guys want a, I feel like I'm talking like fucking thousand miles an hour. Jesus. I am on Cameo. If you guys want to get like a video message for your bestie or i don't know can you buy them for yourself i guess so can you do that i'm not sure um yeah i put my price is like really fucking cheap like some people charge like hundreds of pounds for a video i think jesus but then you are a pretty big deal compared to me do you know i mean like who actually cares about leo on the line apart from you guys so basically like say you've got a friend that maybe you bond over the leo on the line pod or maybe you know someone that enjoys the pod or i don't know um you can go on cameo type in leo levain or leo on the line i don't actually

know which one it works oh i think it's cameo.com slash leo on the line. And then you can get one. I think it's like nine pounds or even less maybe. Or maybe more. I don't know. I should remember. And you can get a video from me. I can... Look, if you want me to break up with your boyfriend for you, I can do that. If you want me to tell your best friend that you slept with her boyfriend, I can do that.

Hopefully none of you have done that. But listen, I've read these dilemmas and you are sometimes like bitches. And I'm willing to break the news for you if you would like maybe your friend's cat just died and I can make her a cameo about it I hate cats and I would probably mention that in the cameo which would maybe not be so helpful and you may ask for a refund but I just thought they've been emailing me at cameo like emailing me saying it's cameo on the line like do you want to join and i've just i've been um and an iron about it especially because i've been like moving and i've been so busy and then today i sat down and i thought about it and i was like fuck it it's not

gonna hurt is it if i just like make an account like probably maybe none of you will ever want one and you know it is what it is but i thought it's such a nice idea i would actually love to to do it if anybody did want one i'd actually really love it. I'd be like, hey babe, maybe you want some one-on-one advice. Maybe your friend is with a guy who's a prick and you want me to give her a talk into, give her a little see into. Do you know what I mean? Oh, that sounds a bit gross. But do you know what I mean? So yeah, I just wanted to let you guys know if you are interested. And this isn't an ad. I just thought it makes sense to tell you about it right anyway let's anyway let's get into it oh my god hello guys oh my god i think i just

died so weekly debate this week is how long should the honeymoon period last. Okay. We are split on this one today, girls and boys. Let's have a look. First one says forever. Oh, next one, forever. Obviously, there will be dips, but I think you can make it last as long as you want. Okay. Before I read any more, what is the honeymoon period? Like, what is classed as the honeymoon period? When you like don't argue and like you're like loving life. I don't know. What's the honeymoon period? I don't know. When you have loads of sex and you're like, you never, you don't piss each other off. You don't have the ick. You don't hate each other. I mean, you should never hate your partner. You should never hate your partner. But like, what is the honeymoon period? Do you know one thing I have realized is, you know, when you get like butterflies and they eventually go don't they I think that's a good thing like for me

butterflies yeah of course like it's excitement like you're excited but at the same time it's like anxiety and nervousness and yeah excitement as well but it's also a good thing when that goes because it means you're relaxed and you're calm. Like, yeah, you can get the odd bit of butterflies or maybe we'll just call it excitement. OK, you get like the odd bit of like, oh, I'm so excited to see him. But I think that feeling is different to butterflies. Butterflies in your stomach is like anxiety and nerves. Excitement is very like I feel like it's specific, like excitement's a bit like. is very like I feel like it's specific like excitement's a bit like and for me when I think of butterflies I think of that like oh fuck now I'm getting fucking

worked up and stressed now he's on his way do you know what I mean so when that goes for me that's a sign of like you feel safe you feel comfortable you're yourself you you're not worried like I don't know I think it's a good thing um but honeymoon period like what what is the honeymoon period i asked this question like how long should it last but to be honest i should have thought this through because i don't really get the honeymoon period like what is it um what have you guys said forever arguments will always happen but you should work for happiness always effort love and trust should be consistent. Hope that makes sense. Love the pod. Oh my God, thanks. Somebody says, as long as you can possibly stretch it, by far the best time in the relationship. I don't know because that's

like suggesting that as soon as the honeymoon period's over, it just goes downhill. But I like it when the honeymoon period's over and we're just happy. We're together. We're content. We know we're staying together through thick and thin. It's me and you all day every day not not necessarily but you know what i'm saying and i think it's a nice feeling when it's like we're just together and we will always be together and it's we just love each other do you know i mean i love that feeling um i've been with my boyfriend for three years and it still feels like the honeymoon period. That's how it should be. I mean, I, like I said, I can't think of, what do I fucking think the honeymoon period is? Because in my experience, I've either felt like I'm in the honeymoon period or I felt like the relationships shit and I can't really give you

an in between. So maybe that means I do think it should last forever um honeymoon period comes and goes throughout the whole relationship she says she's been with her partner for 11 years so I I do see that because somebody sent me a dm saying like do you have any advice for like a rough patch in a relationship and to be honest my only advice is like it'll pass like rough patches are totally normal so I guess I back what you're saying there um somebody says I feel like they last longer in a long distance relationship I can see that because it takes a lot longer to just be like to accept the relationship like to

be like yeah we're just together we love each other so much like that's my boyfriend that's my girlfriend that's my girlfriend that's my girlfriend that's my girlfriend that's my girlfriend i mean so i totally get that um a month somebody says what babes if your honeymoon period's over in a month seriously oh my god no no we're not accepting that we we need more okay um somebody says it just depends. I don't think there's a right answer. All right. I like it. I like that. How much, depends how much you see each other. Yeah, I definitely agree. Definitely agree. Somebody says, it lasts till you move in together. I disagree because with my first boyfriend, I lived with him the day I met him because we met

at uni. And I lived with him for our entire relationship. And I say the honeymoon period only sort of finished at the very end of the relationship. So yeah, I've actually realised, I think it should last the whole relationship. No. No, because I don't know what the honeymoon period is. I just don't get it. I don't know why I've asked this because I don't know what the honeymoon period is. I just don't get it. I don't know why I've asked this. I don't know why I've started this fucking debate. I don't even get the question. Somebody says a few months, probably until a month after you're officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I need more than a month of feeling like I'm on honeymoon period. Forever, I want to be treated like a princess the whole relationship please. Oh my god yeah we're not talking about how they're treating

you it's more about how you feel. But I feel like the honeymoon period is like oh it's new like we haven't had a big argument yet. Do you know what I mean? And like with my first boyfriend I say it lasted the whole time because we never I don't think we had an argument until like the end of the relationship and the only argument we had was like you're so drunk and loud and annoying coming from me so I feel like my idea of the honeymoon period is like it's so new and like amazing and I'm so excited to be with him I love being with him. And then the honeymoon period's over when it's like, the sound of you chewing in my ears makes me want to strangle you and not in a sexy way. I don't know. Is that just me or am I just slightly aggressive? Six months to a year.

It sounds healthy. I think a year, nine to 12 months until you move in together then you realize their habits and learn to love them or leave them oh um about a year it shouldn't ever end if it's the right person I think I feel that in terms of like your sex life of a partner like I feel like if you're in a relationship and you're you're no longer interested in, in sex and stuff like, we talk about this a lot in the podcast, but if it's not down to like personal reasons and for like a long period of time, you're like, I don't even want to fucking have sex with my partner. I don't think, I, that's not like, I don't want that. Like I want to still be ripping my partner's clothes off years into the relationship. Just what do you guys think on that? But like I want to still be ripping my partner's clothes off years into the relationship just what do you guys think on that but like I always say I literally always say this you could

be going through a lot you could your mental health could be low you could your stress levels could be high you could be having a shit time at work your hormones could be all over the place I'm just talking about if it's just that you're not actually that attracted to them sexually that's not a good sign um I think it can last for however long you make it see I think I don't think it's something you can force I think you can't make it I understand you probably like just make sure you keep dating and like stuff like that but I think that's that's just standard in relationship anyway like if you stop dating me what the fuck I deserve better um no set time every relationship is different definitely um I don't think there is a time it

should last but usually like six months um I don't think it should ever end personally I'm still in in it two and a half years later love that um with the right one a lifetime I hope but with the wrong one, three months, I probably agree, I do agree that it should last to a certain extent, I don't think you should still be like, oh my god, I fancy him, like, when you're looking at him, you're like, oh god, he's so good looking, like, that's not gonna happen all the time, like, eventually, you're gonna look at them and be like, oh, have a fucking shave, will you, hun, so I get that, but then I do think it should last to an extent, like, I do think, I don't think you

should ever be bored of your partner. I don't think you should ever be bored in your relationship ever. And I think it's a, it's a red flag when you're like, oh, I'm bored. I don't want to have sex with him. He's fucking boring. The sound of his breathing makes me fucking want to throw up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not good. So yeah, let me know what you guys think on that one. Quite a difficult one because I didn't, I don't really know why i asked that question because i don't really get the question myself kind of stupid really but i have some incredible weekly debates this week oh leah shut up just shut up leah i meant dilemmas i have some amazing dilemmas this week i'm really really excited about them um let's just click straight. Oh my Jesus. This is a big one.

Okay. Buckle up. Buckle up, babies. Okay. Please help me. I'm so confused. Head or heart situation. Okay. Hey, Leah, I'm the biggest fan and love your podcast and I listen to it on my way to work, which is a nice change as I'm a nurse. So it helps me to wind down. Oh, thank you so much. Okay, I am in the biggest dilemma, which I have been trying to handle myself, but it's not working very well. I've been with my boyfriend for over five years, and we've just moved into our first ever house. For reference, we met when we was young. I was 16, and he was 18, and now 21 and 23. Everything in a relationship is okay well i thought it was okay oh god here we go babe right so i met this guy at work a couple of months ago we got on so well like the vibes were just so good whenever we talked i didn't see him for a month but i still thought

about him which is like super strange because we only spent the day working together. What, one day? What? Wow, okay. So I worked with him again the other day. He said he wanted to go to lunch with me, so we went out on our lunch break. Oh, fuck. He said that the second he saw me, he knew that there was something special. He said that he felt butterflies when he saw me and thinks about me constantly.

For reference, he is older, 32, and says he knows what he wants. Wait, you're 21. I mean, I mean, whatever, it's 11 years, but what 32 year old wants a 21 year old though? It's not very common, is it? Like, what do you want from a 21 year old? You're 32, honey. Anyway, there's definitely bigger age gaps it's not even that big compared to some anyway um I told him that I was happy with my boyfriend okay nice and he said he respected my decision but wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't tell me the truth he said that he's happy with us just being friends okay I respect that I do actually respect that this is like the debate we did with Talia it's like do you confess your feelings to someone that's in a relationship? And yeah, I respect that he was like, look, I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't tell you.

I understand. I'm happy to be your friend. I just had to sort of get off my chest. I really respect that from him. Okay. But the issue is that I can't deny that I feel them butterflies too. Shit. Fucking hell, everyone.

I've never felt this way before and I don't know what to do. I feel guilty that I'm feeling this way towards another guy and don't want to be disrespectful to my boyfriend at all. I don't know how to stop feeling like this. I can't help missing him all the time and thinking about him. The butterflies makes me excited. They make me so happy but I just started this wonderful life with my boyfriend. I feel so confused. I don't know if it's because me and my boyfriend have been together so long and we were so young when we got together. My heart says this thing with the guy at work is a good thing but my head says I'm supposed to stay with my boyfriend and build this wonderful life together. Any advice would be much appreciated. Oh fucking hell. I would not want to be you right now. Oh my God. Okay. One thing I want to say is if you're chasing

the butterflies, the excited, I can't stop thinking about him. Like if you're chasing that, you could end up with this guy, this 32 year old, and it will go as well. The butterflies will go with him too because the butterflies always go. I'm sorry. This is very relevant to the things we were saying at the beginning, which I'm kind of contradicting myself now, but now I think about it, yeah, they do. They go, don't they? Yeah? So if you're chasing that honeymoon period, let's call it the honeymoon period. No, because like I said, the actual honeymoon period should stay to an extent if you're chasing that newness that excitement that like oh my god i really like this guy that will go with whoever you're with it will always go and if you're chasing that you'll you'll get you'll leave

your boyfriend go to the 32 year old feel excited and in love and then you'll meet somebody else where you get the butterflies and the newness and the excitement and and the this is so wrong oh my god what do i do and then you'll go with him and then you it will go with him too so that is not a reason to go with someone just because of those feelings at the beginning because you obviously had those feelings with your boyfriend at the beginning so let's keep that in mind but it is also important to keep in mind that you are very young like you were 16 and now you're 21 and to meet someone at 16 and that be your person for life is a big commitment to be like I have given my basically my whole entire adulthood and adolescent hood what's an adolescent what the fuck is an adolescent

why is that word just come out my mouth I'm gonna google what is an adolescent what is an adolescent okay because I need to understand what I'm talking about here oh yeah it's the ages from 10 to 19 oh I absolutely fucking smashed that one up park hit the nail on the head really there didn't I so yeah you've given your whole adolescent hood is that a thing and adulthood to this man like that is basically the commitment you're making I mean you're not marrying the boy but you know I mean let's say you are gonna start this life with him like you say him which is a lot it's a big like I'm giving my whole life to you um and it's a lot and you know we should definitely give some credit to that being a factor here um I'd also consider the age gap um it's not a big deal a lot of people their relationships

work perfectly like my best friend her boyfriend's like way older I don't know how many years not I don't think it's 10 years but I think it's about eight or something and they're like a perfect match because maybe he is really childish and she's really mature and they meet in the middle I'm not sure she'd probably agree with that but you know age gaps sometimes can be like the most perfect thing but I think when you're 21 you're starting your life in terms of like what the fuck am I doing where am I going do I want to have children do I want to live here do I want to get married and at 32 most of the time you've like made those decisions and you're like, I want to have

children soon if he does want to have children. And you're like, I want to get married soon. And you might not be in that kind of place at 21 years old because it's very young. So that's just another thing to consider. You know, like I said, it could just be an irrelevant factor here, but it's definitely, I don't know. I don't know either of you. So it's important to mention all factors from the outside here. And I would also say, just because you have... Did you say you've bought a house with your boyfriend? Just moved into our first ever house. Can we all just have a round of applause for the fact that this girl's just bought a house at 21 years old?

Like, I'm 24, I've just moved back in with my mum. I just moved back into my fucking childhood bedroom like I literally can't be fucked no there's so many of you listening that are in the same boat and I refuse to believe otherwise I'm not alone in this I'm not alone out here but I'm really happy for you I'm so so amazed and proud um but just because you've done that does not mean that you you have to stay there like that does not mean that you're stuck and you have to stick with this decision because if it doesn't feel right it's not right at the end of the day um i would just say can you talk to your mum because i feel like mums are so good at stuff like this because they've done it like they were 21 and they were with somebody that they thought was going to be like the man of their fucking

dreams and like the man they were going to marry and have kids with. And now he's got about eight kids with somebody else that probably down the road and they're probably friends. Do you know what I mean? So mums, mums have been there. That's why mums are the best. Um, I would say take the pressure off the fact that you bought a house and everything and look at it. If you had no commitment to this boyfriend that you're with now um and then how does it make you feel like then what do you want if your boyfriend lived down the road and you lived at your house would you break up with him would you be like actually I want to pursue it with this guy who really excites me because another thing is when you're 16 and when you're 21 you're very different

so you and your boyfriend have gone through massive life changes in terms of your personality and your interests what you want from a partner what you can offer a partner like this all changes especially over the course of five years and especially at that age so it would totally be what's the word like um quite acceptable because everything's fucking acceptable what you want to do but what I mean is like it's totally okay and fine and like it makes sense that you met a boy at 16 then at 21 he wasn't the person you wanted anymore like that's totally fine do you know what I mean um so yeah I think I think you're definitely hanging on to your situation and it would be helpful to separate your feelings from your situation because you can

cope like if you have to pack up your shit and move out your house and go back to your mum's for a bit or like whatever like you can you can cope with that like I'm a live and breathe an example like I was so scared to leave my relationship and change my whole living situation but I've done it and like look at me now look at me now don't you want to be just like me thriving in my mum's house but what I'm saying is there's it's not a reason to stay with somebody because you're afraid of of your life changing and it being difficult and having to rebuild like that's not a reason to stay with somebody because you're afraid of of your life changing and it being difficult and having to rebuild like that's not a reason to stay with somebody because you're absolutely strong enough to rebuild and also you're 21 you've got plenty of time like you could do you can make this decision at 30 and it's still fine you can make a decision at 40 50 60 you should never stay

with somebody because of your living situation or because you feel like you've built it and you feel like you have to like it's never it's never a good enough reason it's never a valid excuse um and also your boyfriend wouldn't want you to stay with him for that reason either so yeah I'm not I'm not going to give you advice because I feel like I'd need to know more to have more of an opinion and also I don't want to give you advice on something quite drastic so I think think, think about it like this. If you listen to this and I said, I think you should break up with your boyfriend and go and pursue things with this new guy. How does that make you feel?

And I think listen to that. Listen to your intuition when I say something like that. And if it makes you go, no, fuck that. Like, oh God, I never want to leave him. Then maybe that's a good thing or if I sat here and I was like I think you should fuck off the new guy and I think you should stay with your boyfriend does that make you go oh for fuck's sake you know that the way that you respond to things is is also sometimes a really big um what's the word fucking here she

goes again what's that fucking saying oh yeah I didn't actually say what was going to get printed on the t-shirts I'm thinking of having don't text your ex on the t-shirt um and leer on the line on the on another just so if you can have a slogan if you want a slogan you can have a slogan if you want if you want the logo you can have the logo not the logo not my face literally just leo on the line um and also somebody made a good point that was like i'm in a relationship so i don't really want to walk around text with a with a t-shirt that says don't text your ex and i was like totally fair enough hon do you know what i mean so yes um sorry just a little side note there next dilemma okay this one is called please help i'm gonna try Okay. Hi, I'm obsessed with your

podcast. Thank you. I'm not going to lie. I'm really nervous to write about this dilemma as I haven't even spoken to anyone about this at all. Oh my God, thank you for trusting me. Do not be nervous. So basically, I'm 20 and I've always been attracted to just guys and I've never really questioned my sexuality until now. So I met this girl on a night out who I found really attractive and we ended up kissing. I just blamed the alcohol and thought nothing of it but the next morning she found my insta and sent me a dm. Since then we've been messaging back and forth and I think I'm starting to catch feelings. I'm so confused about how I feel. Anyway I was basically stalking her insta account one night as us girls do lol

and when i went through her tags photos i found out she has a girlfriend oh fuck what a bitch um i messaged her straight away asking about it okay good for you and all she replied with was it's complicated hun i don't know what to do as i really am starting to like this girl but i don't want to ruin a relationship and i'm still so confused about my sexuality. What should I do? Okay. Thank you so much for trusting me with your dilemma. Thank you. I feel very honoured to be the first person you've spoken to about this. All I would say is like, don't stress about your sexuality. Like, if you're enjoying experiencing and no experiencing experimenting with women enjoy experimenting with women like i'm absolutely over the moon for you um yeah i think you're

worried about it you're like oh shit like do i fancy girls like yeah babe you fucking do you love the puss and you should be proud all right so yeah I think just just breathe a bit just be like oh my god yeah well I didn't realize that about myself interesting okay so honestly I wouldn't I wouldn't overthink it like you know like oh my god like I thought it was just alcohol like am I into women like I totally get it's like this could be like a really huge wake-up call but I think there is no need to be stressed like if you are into women you're into women and that's amazing like if anything even if this girl does have a girlfriend and she's a cheating lying little bitch she's done you a

massive favor because you've realized something amazing about yourself and a very important thing to realize you know um but about the situation I would say I would honestly I would message her and say I feel really uncomfortable like pursuing things with you if I'm not 100% you're not single like I want to know what you mean when you say it's complicated how recent was the picture as well on Instagram was is a good is always a bit of a giver um and just say to her like look I I'm getting feelings for you and I don't want to get into something where I'm gonna end up hurt and gonna end up hurting somebody else so if you do have a girlfriend just be honest with me so I can move forward with my life do you know what I mean um just be like look I'm not I'm not like that i can't do that to another girl um and i won't do it to myself so i'm just gonna need some honesty

right now honey please okay um and yeah like this is an amazing thing for you i'm so happy for you you've like discovered something amazing amazing about yourself i'm like yeah okay it's kind of shit if she does have a girlfriend like it's fucking devastating but this like i said everything happens for a reason like the universe is always working in your favor like you are meant to be exactly where you are right now you're supposed to be having this self what's the word self something oh my fucking hell what's that word what's that saying somebody send me back to school okay seriously but this is what I'm saying like you you're exactly where you're meant to be right now okay you're you're finally understanding yourself a little bit more your sexuality or even if you just want to have a little bit of fun have

a little experiment that's absolutely fine as well do you know what I mean like I know so many girls that have done that so I'd absolutely just stop stressing about it like you said um where did you say it um I'm really confused about my sexuality like this is the thing you don't actually need to understand it yet you don't need to go okay I'm gay or like okay I'm bi like you don't actually need to you don't need to realize that yet like gay or like okay I'm bi like you don't actually need to you don't need to realize that yet like just enjoy every day like speak to whoever you're attracted to speak to whoever you want to talk to and figure out later do you know what I mean just have have a good time um be safe first foremost um and yeah just have a good time don't worry about it at all

you don't need to know yet you'll be absolutely fine and yeah give me an update with that one i'd love to know if she actually did have a girlfriend please give me an update if you don't mind okay next dilemma how to stop comparison oh there's a big fucking fly bouncing on my back. Oh my God. Oh my God, guys. Oh my God. Where the fuck is it? It literally started coming towards me.

Oh my God. I literally don't know where it's gone. I started smacking it with my phone. Oh my God, sorry about that. I don't know how embarrassing. I actually lost control there. This one is called, How to Stop Comparison Making Me Feel Insecure in My Relationship.

Hi, babe. By the way, love your podcast and love you. Love you. Okay. one is called how to stop comparison making me feel insecure in my relationship hi babe by the way love your podcast and love you love you okay so me and my boyfriend so i need to swallow so me and my boyfriend have been together about a year and a half we are so happy and i genuinely believe he's my soulmate oh i love that he's my absolute bestie and i can't wait for our future together however oh god i constantly find myself, okay, okay, it's fine, he hasn't done anything wrong. I constantly find myself comparing to all these stunning women I see online and I think men have a tendency to think the grass may be greener, especially as he's a real lad's lad. I'm confident in myself and what I deserve, don't get me wrong.

Pick up. But, sorry, don't get me wrong, but it gets in my head sometimes and I catch myself thinking he must see so many other girls that are prettier than me, which makes the thought of him going on his lad's holiday in July, hey? Oh, sorry, sorry, okay, which makes the thought of him going on his lad's holiday in July make me feel physically sick. Basically, my dilemma is I need some reassurance that men aka my boyfriend don't always think with their dicks and he's with me for more than the superficial stuff because sometimes I feel like I'm constantly comparing myself and thinking what if he finds her more attractive than me which is really eating away at me and

is holding me back in the sense that I don't feel as though I can put 100% into the relationship because I feel as though I'm simply replaceable. That is such a horrible word to give yourself. I am so disappointed in you for just calling yourself replaceable. Take that back right now. You are irreplaceable, okay? Leah, I love you basically. I feel as though I need a bad bitch talk. That is so funny. You just asked for a bad bitch talk. Go look in that mirror and tell yourself, I am irreplaceable. Okay. I need a bad bitch talk because life's taking its toll on me and I definitely don't feel like one at the minute. Thank you. Okay. First of all, I'm not being funny. The most gorgeous girl in the world looks at other women and thinks they're the most gorgeous girl in the world. Like, let's take

somebody that we all think is gorgeous, Cheryl Cole, okay? You can't disagree with me that you don't think she's absolutely 10 out of 10 stunning. She's so insecure inside. Of course she is, because she's a woman, and we are all fucking insecure, okay? Like, even Cheryl Cole probably looks at her boyfriend, has she got a boyfriend? I'm not sure, thinking, actually, this is a valid point, Cheryl Cole got cheated on by Ashley Cole, okay, fuck Ashley Cole, yeah, like, this is what I'm saying, oh, that's probably not, that's probably not filling you with confidence, is it, me saying that, but what I'm saying is, it is not about you, like, somebody that we think is perfect, Cheryl Cole, even she got cheated on, So let me explain. I'm not saying we're all going to get cheated on. What I'm saying is it's not about you. It's about them. Okay. So

it's not about, Oh my God, am I pretty enough? Like, am I, am I funny enough? Like, am I, am I bad bitch enough? Basically, is your boyfriend a decent fucking person or not? Like that is all it comes down to. It's not about you because Cheryl Cole's gorgeous she's absolutely beautiful she's funny she's kind she's lovely she's gorgeous and Ashley Cole made a terrible decision and cheated on her and no we we could not understand that could we we could just think how how can you cheat on Cheryl Cole yeah so honestly you need to stop comparing yourself to women for that reason. It's like, I could be your idea of perfect, Beyonce. I could be Beyonce. Beyonce got cheated on. He cheated on Beyonce. Do you know what I mean? I could be Beyonce. And it's not going to make a difference to how somebody treats me. Okay? What's going to make a difference is who they are

as a person. Somebody's behavior is a reflection of them and not you. So your boyfriend going on this last holiday, doesn't matter how gorgeous you are, babe. If he's a decent person, he's going to act like a decent person. And that's all it comes down to. And you know your boyfriend better than anyone. You love him. He's your soulmate. He makes you so happy. So you haven't got a cheater on your hands. No, no, no, no. Okay. You'd be sat here going, I just know he's going to cheat on on me i've just got this horrible feeling or there'd be some sort of history oh my god the fucking fly what is that i think i've like broke one of its wings what on earth is that jesus leave that dead on my bed for a minute and i'll get rid of it after the pod um but yeah what i'm saying i can't remember what I'm saying now, I got distracted by that bug,

um, oh yeah, no, that wasn't what I was gonna say, anyway, anyway, let me just get to the point, shall I stop wasting everyone's time, literally sat here in silence, I just think you need to work on how you view yourself, because that is the problem at the moment, like, you're absolutely amazing, you're a fucking ten out of ten, babe, do you know what I mean, imagine cheating on you, embarrassing, embarrassing, that's what I say, look in that mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and go, wow, 10, you know that TikTok talk, TikTok talk, TikTok sound, where she's like, where he goes, would you raise yourself out of 10, she's like, I'm a 10, he's like, no, no. Okay, let's do it again. What are you on a scale of one to 10? I'm a 10. That's like, that's like flawless though. Yeah, I am flawless. Yeah, that's what you're going to do in the mirror because you are flawless.

And like I said, if Beyonce can get cheated on, it doesn't matter how fucking gorgeous you are. It matters who you're with. All right. So first step is work on how you view yourself because that is very important we need to love ourselves because i do not like that you don't love yourself enough right now it's not good enough all right second thing that we're going to learn is it is not it's not down to me whether someone's going to treat me right or not it's down to them and i have nothing to do with that it is none of my fucking business whether somebody's going to treat me right and your boyfriend is because he sounds lovely all right love you was that rubbish advice I don't know I feel like it was I feel like it makes sense all right

next dilemma can you oh why won't it download from the server it said this message has not been downloaded from the server, okay, oh my god, oh sorry, that was so loud, wasn't it, fuck me, I think I just deafened myself, oh dear, my Wi-Fi isn't working, can everyone hear me, hello, oh my god, do you know how many DMs I got about my Australian accent, apparently it's quite good, apparently it's actually reasonably good, okay, guys, I have a really fucking cool dilemma for you. Not cool. It's not cool, but I'm excited to, to, to share it. Okay. Let's go. Hey honey, I can't actually believe I'm writing this email because I think I would feel super awkward even

saying this to my friends, but I saw your Instagram post asking that hiccup. We're just going to have to get used to those hiccups. Okay. But I saw your Instagram post asking for morecup we're just gonna have to get used to those hiccups okay but I saw your Instagram post asking for more dilemmas so I don't think you've considered oh sorry I don't think you have covered one like this before I'm 24 and don't think I've ever had an orgasm I mean surely I would be aware of it I want that mind-blowing leg-shaking screaming orgasm you see in films and hear people talk about. Background story and the dilemma I have at the minute is me and my boyfriend have been together for seven years. He's the only person I've ever slept with and the sex has always been good. He's quite big so sometimes it can be painful but other than that it has always been good. But if I heard him say

our sex life was good I would be offended. I would want it to be amazing. I think I need to experiment a bit more to figure out what I like. How am I supposed to want it to be amazing. I think I need to experiment a bit more to figure out what I like. How am I supposed to expect someone to pleasure me if I can't even pleasure myself, right? So I bought myself a toy. He came home and caught me using it and I felt like a naughty child. It was so awkward. I thought he would find it attractive and want to join me or watch me but he said he felt offended that I was doing something to myself that he could do. He honestly acted like he had just walked in and saw me having sex with someone else and it made me feel really embarrassed. I tried to explain the fact I've never had an orgasm and wanted to experiment what it was

like. Oh my god so you told him. Okay I didn't think he would be surprised by this because I've never once acted like I have or said I have. Okay, fair enough. So you haven't been faking it. I did a dilemma once where she's, she's like engaged, has children with this guy. I think she was in for like 10 years. Um, and she's been faking it. So you haven't even been faking it. So I respect that. Um, and then you said, um, but he told me I've near, I have, okay, listen, right. Listen listen to this i don't think he would be surprised by this because i've never once acted like i have or said i have but he told me i have near enough every time we have had sex as apparently he can feel it okay yeah everybody hear

that surely i would also feel this she says He now thinks I think sex with him is terrible and is acting really off with me over it. I walked in in some sexy underwear, tried kissing his neck to initiate sex and he told me he was tired. I have even suggested him trying out the sex toy on me as I cannot orgasm from just having sex but he didn't want to I didn't I don't want this to be an issue and regret doing anything now should I have just carried on having good sex or is he in the wrong I don't want to affect I don't want this to affect anything in our relationship because everything else is amazing I've always been a selfless in the fact that I've done everything he wants to do in the bedroom and happy if he is happy but now I've gotten older and I want mine too kind of thing any advice would be great p.s I love your podcast

I work 45 minutes away and look forward to driving to work on a Tuesday morning to listen to your podcast oh my god morning morning everybody driving to work right now um last time I said something about people driving I literally made people nearly crash so I'm gonna be careful this time watch out that was not funny that was very dangerous um you're doing amazing and love how open and honest you are i love that you don't pretend to have your shit together makes you so relatable i love that your life's a mess i love that for us okay all right all right right so i replied to her email which i've never done and i just said said, I just need to cover a couple of things. I said, have you ever had an orgasm from foreplay or masturbating or anything at all ever in your life?

And then she said, I think that was my only question actually. Yeah, it was. And she said, I've literally never had an orgasm from anything until a few days ago, which I did myself with the help of a clitoris, know it said clitoris clitoris stimulation toy but other than that i had literally never felt these sensations in my life i think i've been close once from foreplay but he took don't stop a stop off sorry my mic literally just cut out then yeah he took don't stop a stop what a fucking loser i'm kidding all right so the reason i'm so excited about this is because i just know people can relate. I just know there's people listen to this that have never orgasmed. I know there is. Of course there is. There has to be. How many of you? Put your hand up. Put your hand up

now. Right. I want to firstly tackle how he responded to you with the sex toy. I understand it's he probably felt embarrassed himself he probably felt a bit like oh this is embarrassing um my girlfriend is flicking one out and doing it in private and i'm literally downstairs um but then you explained it and you were like babe i'm just trying to figure out my body i'm sick of not figuring it out yeah. I want to figure it out. And he was like, no, I've made you orgasm every time I can feel it. What are you feeling, hun? Tell me exactly what you're feeling. Okay. I'm telling you now it's not true. They can't feel an orgasm. Yeah. All right. You might tense up and go tight, whatever. I'm sorry. You don't feel if I orgasm or not just shut up and stop lying okay just stop lying don't

tell me I've orgasmed yes you do you orgasm every time oh oh oh sorry about that my mistake no I don't okay um are you have you have got absolutely nothing to be ashamed of here let me get that out um and congratulations on your first orgasm where where were you how was it what's the toy like what's the deets you can send me the link but what i'm saying is he i think it is offended him a bit hasn't it like it's a bit of an ego sitch like he's a bit like what do you mean i'm not i'm not a monster in the bedroom like don't tell me that and i get it's a bit of a hard pill to swallow especially because you've been with him for seven years like i totally see his point of view but he he is gonna have to get his head around it he has to at the end of the day listen baby you've never made me orgasm get over it all right and listen this toy does it so you're gonna use it and we're gonna use it in sex because i want to feel this these feelings around you i think incorporate the toy into your sex life have another

chat with him be like look i understand you feel like you've made me orgasm every time but i'm quite literally telling you that you haven't you can't argue with with me telling you whether i've had an orgasm or not you don't really get say in that it's not really a matter of debate you know it's not it's not really up for debate darling if whether or not i've actually had an orgasm it's it is actually a quite literal fact that i haven't um yeah i know it's probably a hard pill to swallow i'm sorry it doesn't feel very nice but neither does sex with you steve okay to put it bluntly your penis is shit no i'm not no don't tell him his willy's crap but tell him that you want an orgasm and you finally figured out how to do it and you want to do it with him so he's gonna have to just like bite the bullet or hold the

bullet on the clitoris you know um and i'm sure so many people listen to this that haven't ever had an orgasm with their boyfriend and don't know how to tell them and i'm here to tell you you just have to be honest because you deserve to have good sex with your boyfriend and the only way you're going to get it is if you have this this difficult conversation um so yeah i'd say incorporate the the toy into your sex life and you should absolutely not be ashamed of that people people that can orgasm from a willy a finger a finger i feel like a fucking 18 year old when i talk about fingering fingering makes me feel fucking gross oh um but yeah people that just have been orgasming for years still use sex toys because it's fun and exciting and it's it's fun so it's not people don't just

use sex toys because their boyfriend's shit in bed like that's not that's not what sex toys is all about boys need to get that out of their head what's that thing it's like that sex toys aren't your enemy they're your friend something like that i actually just winked at myself with a mirror oh i didn't actually mean to do that i feel fucking sick i am actually disgusting so yeah um there's my advice hun honestly happy orgasming girls all right i'm actually gonna end the dilemmas there because i'm getting a bit sick of my own voice um oh my god it's well late jesus fuck um thank you so much for all the love recently let me know what you guys think about the t-shirts any ideas for slogans that you think we can include throw in my way they are more than welcome um and yeah as I said cameo is on the cards if you ever want it cameo.com slash leah on the line

um if you've got a bestie that likes the podcast I'll be happy to give her a message hun or any advice maybe maybe you you're like oh my best friend cheated on her boyfriend how how should she tell her and I'll go hi hi Amy your friend Sally just told me that you cheated on your boy listen i'm not upset i'm disappointed okay but this is what we're gonna do yeah so just let me know um just let me know if you guys if you guys ever need me like i'm on camio okay um but honestly thank you guys so much for the love recently my d My DMs have been fucking busy, but I've really enjoyed just like sitting and chatting with you all the time. Like it's, it's actually so nice having so many friends for quite literally the first time in my life. Um, I really enjoy it and

I really love, I really am loving our friendship. So hopefully my goal and aim in life is just to build this as big as we can, because I can't tell you how much joy it brings me like I just love this I love doing this with you every week um bonus episode coming this week I'm either gonna do um I think I might do an x episode because I've got I put a story up and asked for a load of x and I had a little look early on this so funny so I think I'm gonna do an x episode but you know how we did like the breakup episode which the idea of it is like if you when when or if you ever go for a breakup you've got that sat there ready waiting for you I also want to just do like other scenarios of that like I want to do

like a anxiety episode like the anxiety episode when I'm I'm hanging I've got really a bad anxiety and I'll just like sit in my bed hanging and record an episode and be like, look at us. So you can listen to it when you're, when you've got anxiety and you can be like, we can be like, look at us. We've got nothing to be ashamed about. We went out and we had a fucking good time and we got nothing to feel guilty about. We did nothing wrong. That reminded me of that TikTok sound. Everyone thinks you're wrong, but you, that's the truth. Belle, I love Belle, what a queen. So yeah, any other ideas? I've got the breakup, that's out there. I've got the anxiety episode. I'm just trying to think of other scenarios that would be good just to have up on Spotify and Apple, wherever you guys listen for when you're in that situation and you can go back and listen to it um so yeah any ideas really really really really appreciate it um you guys are the best and i literally love you with all my heart

all right i'll see you on friday bitches for a brand new bonus episode thank you so much for everything you do for me we're gonna be best friends till the day we die let's not talk about death because it will trigger my fear all right everyone have the best week um oh my god it's the jubilee weekend coming up i'll talk to you on friday anyway so i'll talk to you on friday but i don't mean all right if you're going out for a midweek drink maybe you're at uni you're going for a midweek mashup oh gross that's just what one of my clubs back in cambridge used to call to call the Wednesday night midweek mashup reps. Fucking gross. But yeah, don't text your ex, text me instead. And I will speak to you on Friday. I love you. Bye.