Leah on the Line - 21: How to walk away from your relationship & do men ever change?

Episode Date: June 6, 2022

Hey gorg! Welcome back to a brand new episode of Leah on the Line. What an interesting weekly debate! We really are split in our opinions on this one. Do you believe in once a cheater always a cheater? As always send in your thoughts, dilemmas & confessions to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leo on the Line, babies. How you doing? Happy Tuesday. Did you like the little treat I left you on Sunday? Was expecting that, were you? Not gonna lie, I almost forgot this episode. I was all consumed and getting Sundays up. It's literally 20 to 11 on Monday night. This episode goes live in an hour and 20 minutes. I just finished watching Love Island. What the fuck, honeys? What did you think? Honestly, I, look, I love the girls, girls, I'm a girl's girl all day, through and through. But fuck me, can they cheer up? They are having the opportunity of their lifetime. Okay? Honestly, you'd think that they're all hangry or something or like they've been forced to to take 10 weeks off work and sit in the sun like honestly they was miserable tonight i was like cheer up girls you're living the summer of a lifetime out here like come on let's share a

bit of appreciation can we not honestly when they're seeing them dares and it was like um demonstrate three sex positions with three islanders of your, when they were doing them dares and it was like, demonstrate three sex positions with three islanders of your choice. And they were like, no, I'm not doing that, not me. I would have been like, get on that floor, boys. I'm riding all three of you. Like, I would have been like, get down. I was so like, cheer up. And then Gemma, Gemma, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life, like, fuck off. Do you know what I mean, you're that pretty, um, when she told Luca, love of my life, Luca, that she, when he was like, oh, my surname's, what did he say it is, Bish, yeah, my surname's Bish, and she was like, oh, that's such an unfortunate name, and he was like, Bish, what's wrong with Bish, and you're not a fan,

she was like, no, I was like, rude was like rude okay rude you and your 12 horses getting a bit lippy around her but yeah honestly i don't know if it's because i was a bit nervous maybe they're all a bit like oh my god there's cameras on me obviously this is completely new to them so hopefully give them a week they'll loosen up but i'm loving it i'm really just so happy it's back on my screen. I'm just so jealous. Like, what an incredible life that they're all about to live. 10 weeks in the sun. They're about to find the love of their life, perhaps. Isn't it so mad how many couples have actually lasted? Like, if you actually think about it, the odds are pretty high that you will actually meet someone amazing. Like, look at Olivia and Alex they're fucking soulmates Molly

and Tommy Molly and Tommy they're the loves of my lives lives I have one life oh let's not remind ourselves of that um there's just loads of couples that have lasted do you know one of my favorite couples that didn't last very long but I absolutely loved them and still they have such a special place in my heart Scott and Katie from season two I absolutely loved Scott and Katie I will always have a thing for Scott I will always have a thing for Scott. I will always have a thing for Scott Thomas. I slid into his DMs once and he didn't reply. But I'm just going to tell myself he doesn't read his DMs because I'm definitely your type.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, weekly debate. Actually, before we move on to the weekly debate, I do want to know your thoughts on Love Island. So while you're listening to this, send me a dm i would love to know what you guys think about love island this year um but yeah um weekly debate this week is i almost did one that i've already done like i did the um how do you feel about your partner liking instagram pics and

then i was like hold on a minute like i'm sure I've had this conversation with you girls before girls and guys sorry I need to get used to saying that now it's because I've always said girlies like sarcastically like do you know what I mean girl hey girl and then it just stuck where I called you girlies all the time and I get dms like please stop saying girlies because I'm a guy and I listen to this and I'm like I'm so sorry you're just one of the girls you know girls material girl um but yeah I almost did the like an Instagram pics and I've done that one I literally went back through my Instagram stories and there lo and behold there it was I was like well I'm not gonna waste everybody's time so I changed it to something we discussed at the very beginning but we never did it as a full weekly debate um and that is do you believe in once a

cheater always a cheater so we did i think my very first weekly debate was actually still one of my favorites um could you take somebody back if you found out they cheated on you in the beginning of your relationship so say you've been together two years and then it comes out i slept with sarah when we were together in week month one would you be like you know it's been two years i'm pregnant with your child i'm gonna let it go or are you like see you fucking later darling this whole relationship's been a lie and i loved that debate but a big part of that debate was do you believe in once a cheater always a cheater So let's have a look what you guys are saying because I hand on heart don't know where I stand. So hopefully you guys can help me come up with my own opinion. Somebody says, oh, this one gets me every time. I mean, if you can do it

once, you can do it again, right? I don't know. Fuck, I'm with you, hon. That's actually my thought process. My ex cheated on me three times, but I would still say people can change. He just didn't. Okay. You know what? I love that you're not using that one experience to define your opinion on men. My boyfriend has cheated, not in my relationship that I know of anyway. He has in all his others. So yeah, I can't find the other half of her message. But yeah. So yeah, I can't find the other half of her, of her message. But yeah, so yeah, pro, she said. Hard to say, but probably yes. It's not even if they do it again, I just wouldn't want to be with them. I cheated once when I was 18, but never have, but have never cheated on anyone since, and I'm now 26. Someone that would do it in the first place even if I know 100,000% they never do it again. What? Where's the other half of your message, honey? Oh, sorry. I missed

the first half. Okay. Hard to say but probably yes. Not even if they do it again. I just wouldn't want to be with, continue on, someone that would do it in the first place even if even if i know 100 000 they never do it again okay um not necessarily if they can show they've changed then maybe it was just a silly mistake yes they did it once they'll do it again know your worth yes such a red flag especially if he's cheating on his current partner with you oh that's a whole nother debate isn't it 100 you cannot tell me otherwise right she's like yep once cheat always cheater can't change my mind in my experience with an ex he cheated on me and his ex i would always be cautious now sorry i feel a hiccup coming girls and boys fuck me one not

experienced it but it's like with other things if someone lies to you once they'll lie again i can't find two but oh two because they know they can get away with it if you catch them in the act it's different three but i think the mentality is if i can do it once i can do it again they think it's easy no having been a cheater once never again not convinced it's the same for men oh interesting you know they say men are on mars when women are on venus i really struggle to say that women are on venus i really struggle um if the person was a teen i kind of understand to an extent is they're not fully mature something like a kiss i think can be a mistake only Only once though. Anything more is too far. Difficult one. No, but can never trust a cheater. Yep. Can do it once and then they'll do it again. Anyone that says differently is in denial. Oh my goodness. Um, no, of course not. Cheating whilst you're young means nothing. Um,

this is what I mean. I agree with all of you. Like I agree with all of you like I agree with all of your points they're all valid I think my opinion is let's say I was on a date with a guy it's probably a question I would ask to be honest I'm that kind of bitch like I would literally be like have you ever cheated on a relationship and if the answer was yeah I'm probably out of town hun um unless he was covered in green flags left right and center in every other way I think I'm out of there I don't think I want to be with somebody that's cheated to be honest but I also agree that people make mistakes like I do I I am a firm believer in that people make mistakes and they learn from these mistakes full show so I don't think I believe in once a cheater always a cheater I don't I do believe you can cheat once in your life and go

that was a fucking awful thing to do um however I don't think I'd be able to be with somebody like that it's hard because I'm like well if you don't think he's a cheater for life then surely you can be with him because i really don't i i there are serial cheaters out there and what we like to call them here on leah on the line is scumbags um but i do also believe that you can just make one or maybe even two all right maybe even two mistakes but I agree with the girls and guys saying that it's different in terms of if you stay with that person so let's say I've got a boyfriend me nice but never mind let's say I've got a boyfriend okay in dreamland and he's cheated on me okay nightmare land we've

stepped over into nightmare land he's cheating on me right I think if I took him back it is likely that he will cheat again personally however I think if he was in a new relationship, he may not cheat on her. Lucky her is all I have to say. Because sometimes you can cheat, lose somebody and go, oh my fucking God, I'm never going to cheat on anybody again. That was hell. But if you've shown somebody what you're willing to put up with, do you know what I mean? It's kind of like, it's kind of like a green light to be like, I'm, you know, walk all over me, babe. I'm not willing to walk away from you. And I'm not willing to, to walk away from something that is lower than what I deserve. I think that's what you're telling them when you take them back. So I think that's my argument in terms of once a cheater always a cheater I think it's

easy to cheat again if it's so easy for them to cheat in the first place to be honest darling what do you guys think well you've I've just read out what you think um but yeah that's my personal opinion on that on that matter um but yeah such a shit one, isn't it? Cheating is the fucking shittest thing in the world. Like, fuck you to every cheater out there. All right. No, I don't know because I don't mean it because I do actually think people make mistakes. I really do. I really do. So yeah, it's a tough one. Look at me just wasting everyone's time sat here going, oh, it's a tough one. It's a tough one. All right, Leah, move on then. If you don't have an opinion, let's move on to the dilemma, shall we? Yes. Okay. I've got some brilliant dilemmas, but before I have an update.

Woo! Thank you to the girl who actually sent me an update. If you haven't sent me an update on your dilemma and there is an update, please let us besties know because we are dying to know. So I think it was last episode i read out a dilemma where a girl kissed a girl on a night out she was questioned her sexuality and then she found out this girl had a potential girlfriend well we have an update babes here we go it says update thanks so much for your advice it's definitely helped a lot i looked at when the pictures were posted and it was in January this year. Her girlfriend's Instagram account is full of posts of them two together. I feel bad for her as she seems happy

in their relationship. I asked the girl what she meant by it's complicated and she kept telling me not to worry about it. I've decided to remove her and move on. Good for you. I'm still confused about my sexuality but like you said I don't need to put a label on anything i'm just trying to see where life takes me i've actually come out to my best friend and she fully supports me which has taken a lot of stress away thank you again yay obviously bad bad news in terms of that girl had a girlfriend but amazing that you've been strong enough to be like yeah no i'm not getting involved like that's fucking bullshit hon and you've been strong enough to be like, yeah, no, I'm not getting involved. Like that's fucking bullshit, hon. And you've walked away from that mess. So proud of you for that. But even more proud for coming out to your friends. I love that. Yeah, like you said, you don't need to figure it

out yet. But it's taking the stress away. So let's take that as one massive positive from this whole situation. Do you know what I mean? We are all so happy for you over here at Leo on the Line. Can't wait. Can't wait to hear the next story from you. Can't wait. Keep you posted on this journey that you're on. How exciting. Okay, next dilemma. Which one do I want to do first? Okay, I want to do this one. Boyfriend repeatedly liking girls instagram photos let's hear hey girl love you and love the podcast hope you're all good i love you and i love you as well love you and i love you as well what anyway so i need some advice okay i'm gonna give it my best shot we're all gonna give it our best shot aren't we okay my boyfriend throughout our whole relationship two and a half years has always liked girls instagram photos if he is genuinely friends

with them or knows them i don't have a problem like a pretty selfie etc i get but the thing i do have a problem with is that he likes half naked photos or photos of his ex-girlfriend. Can we just have a moment of silence for that? That's fucking bullshit, mate. Okay, continuing on. As well as liking the usual selfie, etc. Which obviously does get to me because what is he actually liking about that photo? I brought it up a few times in our relationship and it gets better for a little bit. As in, I notice him not liking the same girl's Instagram photos that he usually would. But then it slips again and I find him liking bikini photos, etc. I also now have the problem that I'm constantly checking his following and seeing if he's liked the post of a girl that I'm concerned about him, not her.

And it makes my heart sink when I see the like. However, I don't mention it and a few days later the like has gone so i feel like he's thinking about after thinking after about my feelings but not in the present moment of the like or maybe he feels like he's going to get caught i just have that weird feeling in my gut about it and it's horrible please could you offer any advice i feel so stuck in what to do slash where to go from here because like i've said i've've mentioned it before and he says he won't do it again, but then it does happen again. Love you loads and thank you in advance for the advice. Love you more. Okay, so you've concerned him. What? Oh my God, I literally can't fucking talk. You've expressed to him,

I just read the word concern as I spoke. Sorry about that. You've expressed to him, I just read the word concern as I spoke. Sorry about that. You've expressed to him, I don't like this. This isn't okay. You are crossing the boundaries that I'm trying to put into place here. And he's gone, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up, basically. Right? But the ex-girlfriend is way too fucking far. And I'm telling you that because not only is that insulting to you and does that affect your self-esteem but it's fucking muggy and it's rude because she's sat there grin on her fucking face your her ex has a new girlfriend you so you're not even new you've been together two and a half years and he's still liking photos of his ex piss off I'm not being funny it's absolutely wrong like it is wrong I don't know if there's girls listening to this that disagree with me but in my in my experience and the boundaries that I

set in place in my relationships well I've never actually had to set this in place because I've never been in a situation where my boyfriend's like in other girls photos. I think I genuinely think that is a form of being unfaithful. Like it's fucking bullshit. And I know a lot of you girls disagree with me. We've done the weekly debate. I know a lot of you are like, yeah, like him. I don't give a fuck. It's only Instagram. I personally, I think it's being unfaithful. I think you're literally expressing your attraction to another female. And there's absolutely no need for that um and you've expressed that you don't like it and he's continued to do it so with the unliking i'm confused about that i wonder if he's trying to get their attention and they're not getting it

so like unliking the picture because it didn't work and isn't really worth the risk in the argument in that case have you like been through this guy's phone? Like, does he message any of these girls? Because that's what I'd be concerned about, you know. To be honest, you guys, I know, I know a lot of you are going to think that what I'm about to say is outrageous and I know so many of you are going to disagree but I'm ending the relationship on those grounds I actually am I'm not being funny I've told you I don't like it I've told you it's not going to sit well with me and you've continued to do it where's the respect hun I'm not being funny it's not gonna it's not gonna ride with me I'm no no I'm just not doing that I'm not I'm not trying to explain to you how I deserve to be

treated like I'm not I'm not gonna explain to you why you crossing my personal boundaries that I've put in place is is a problem with me I'm not going to sit here and tell you that um the fact that rather than him saying when you've gone to him with this issue and you've said look I don't like it it makes me feel shit makes me feel insecure I find it embarrassing rather than him saying to you babe it's just Instagram like you honestly I'm gonna like Instagram pictures and it's just Instagram rather than saying that he's gone yeah okay that's fine I won't do it anymore and then he's done it so he knows it's an issue and continued to do it which is a big issue for me because it's not like he just doesn't really see the issue with it doesn't really see the

problem I don't actually fancy them I'm just liking the pictures but I don't fancy these girls rather than giving you that he's gone okay yeah fair enough I won't do it anymore and then he's just done it so that's another issue for me um so I think obviously it's up to you what you want to do and how seriously you want to take that um and how much of an issue it is for you in your relationship but if I'm if I'm in that position I'm sitting him down and I'm saying, babe, this is not going to ride with me. I'm literally not going to be in a relationship with you if you cannot respect the boundaries that I'm putting in place. Like, I don't do this to you. I've told you I don't like it.

It's such an easy thing for you to sacrifice for me. Like, it's not like I'm asking you to quit your job or stop hanging out with your friends. asking you to quit your job or stop hanging out with your friends like I'm literally asking you to stop double tapping pictures of girls and in their underwear and set pretty selfies of girls like I'm literally asking you not to do that if they're your friends I don't care obviously if they're your friends I couldn't give a fuck but if it's your ex-girlfriend and if it's people that I you just clearly fancy it's unnecessary I'm asking you to stop it and you're not so I'm not being funny I'm ending the relationship on those grounds sorry I know I know loads of you are going to disagree with me but it's obviously easy for me to say that now if I was in that position I'd probably just like

cry on the floor and be like my self-worth is zero I'm worth nothing but yeah that's that's honestly my opinion babe I don't want to give you advice because I feel like you're not actually going to take it do you know what I mean like when you're in that position you're going to do what you want to do because your heart's involved but I can tell you what I would want myself to do if I was in that position whether I would actually be able to go through that or not it's a different story because I'm weak and I'm unable to walk away from things it's something that I've learned so yeah I'm really sorry that you're going through that but I think it's definitely a conversation you need to have again because it's not gonna if you

don't like it don't put up with it simple as that hum all right next dilemma this one is called how to walk away oh god my goodness right okay okay hi Leah i just want to say how much i love you and your podcast oh i love you so much so i'm in a bit of a situation that i'd love your advice on me and my boyfriend have been together for two years we were together for about three or four months when he randomly split up with me in the first lockdown 2020 i was really hurt by this and it came as quite a shock as he didn't seem to care at all. We went a few months not speaking and then got back into contact a few months later and ended up getting back together. Okay fast forward to summer the following year

we moved in together and we were so happy until one day he comes home and says to me I need to tell you something. Oh my god my stomach just fucking flipped oh look to which my heart stops as i had a oh god oh my goodness as i had a gut feeling something was wrong he confesses oh god i'm gonna throw up i'm not to any emetophobias emetophobias emetophobics emetophobes emetophobics listening i'm not actually gonna throw up sorry if that was triggering okay continuing on oh god he confesses he had slept with a girl who I really don't like might I add when we were broken up I then asked why he was telling me this a year after we had got back together to which he said she's pregnant and she's told me i need to do a dna as she believes it's mine i went into full shock mode he then does the dna oh fuck to find out it's his child

this has all been hidden from me for an entire year but i swear you're only pregnant for nine months okay sorry it's not funny I felt so lost and alone and I didn't know what to do I have a difficult relationship with my family so I thought I couldn't just go home no this is killing me as I didn't know how to address it with them I stupidly made the mistake of forgiving him and we're still living together a year later i want to walk away from this relationship as i don't trust him at all and my heart is still so broken from the lies and the whole situation my question to you is how do i leave this person i feel so lost and hurt i just don't know how to walk away love you so much oh my fucking god please fucking lord protect this girl at all costs that is a shit show of a fucking situation

my heart is absolutely breaking for you there right simple simple answer walk away you've said you've made them you stupidly made the mistake oh that was her words not mine i'm not i'm not calling her stupid she says i stupidly made the mistake of forgiving him and we're still living together. I want to walk away from the, from the relationship. Walk away, walk away. I sound like Belle again. Walk away then. Walk away, walk away. No, honestly, walk away. I want to walk away from the relationship because I don't trust him at all. And my heart's still so broken. Walk away, walk away, walk away. Um, how do I leave? You sit him him down you tell him i cannot move on from everything that's happened this is killing me i have to prioritize my mental health my self-worth and

my happiness and i have to walk away from this relationship and you walk away from the relationship honestly it is so much more simple than you think you're going to pack your ship you're going to go home i know you said your relationship with your family is difficult but you don't have to explain yourself to anyone hopefully you're always welcome at home if not okay let's let's say that you can't go home we're going to get a bit of money together and we're going to move out and we're going to live independently all right you're going to be absolutely fine if you've got a friend maybe you can kip on on her sofa or in a spare room of a friend for a little while but you're going to land on your feet again and you're going to rebuild for yourself and this is all going to be in your past and you're going to have

an amazing future and an amazing future husband and gorgeous babies if you want them and an amazing career and amazing friends and this will all be in the past and nobody will ever be able to make you feel like this again obviously he didn't do anything major wrong because you you were separated and it is unfortunate that this has happened because it's not his fault i mean he could have worn a condom but whatever and you know he hasn't cheated on you so it's's not his fault. But at the end of the day, this is not good for you. You've said it yourself. You don't want to be with him. You didn't want to forgive him. And, oh wait, he did cheat on you, didn't he?

Oh no, you broke up. You broke up in lockdown. Yeah, you broke up. Okay. I was actually worried then. Yeah, you were broken were broken up sorry I just had to double check that yeah otherwise that would have been a whole different story yeah it's not his fault unfortunately it's really not his fault like I said could have won a condom but whatever and you know you are where you are I think you know deep down you've said you can't trust him the lies everything the deceit you you don't want to be with him so it is honestly that's that simple you don't want to be with him don't be with him and you're going to be so proud of yourself when you finally walk away from this situation

where you all are um yeah you got this oh i'm so sorry this is honestly heartbreaking it's just such a horrible feeling in it like it's just awful but yeah okay I love you so much and you're honestly gonna be fine you're gonna be you are still so much without this relationship um you're more so yeah I love you next dilemma all right this one is called can you hold on to someone for who they once were no next dilemma no i'm just i'm joking i will actually read out okay hi leah love the podcast i listen to it on the way to work every day it's like my therapy oh my god yay please never never see me as a therapist i am not licensed okay next next no sorry moving on I mean continuing on fucking hell hoping you can give your opinion on my situation I feel I know deep down what the answer is but I almost

need someone else's opinion okay okay so maybe we're after a bit of clarification let's delve in I've been with my boyfriend three years and we have a child together the first six months were amazing I felt all my dreams had come true. If I'm honest, the rest of the time I've been miserable and he doesn't treat me how I want to be treated. He shows no interest in me. Wanting him to ask how my day was is me being needy. I can't remember the last time we went on a date. He acts like he hates me. Oh, we feel like roommates and I hate it. Oh oh my god i'm actually crying now she started to cry that one that one really got me in the heart that did

that is awful just reading that he acts like he hates me oh darling that's really uh she made me cry i'm actually gonna take a break for a sec okay i've returned sorry mother i just had a little bit of a breakdown um continuing on with the dilemma i know deep down i'm unhappy and want more but i keep holding on to how perfect it was at the start when i think of him that's the person i think of even though i know in reality that's not him anymore the hard part is i still love him and would try to make it work but it's evident he has passed this point he's oh my god everyone listen to this listen to this he has even admitted he doesn't love me anymore what okay carrying on my question is can you hold on to someone because of who they once were even though they're no longer that person thank you from a very sad and heartbroken listener oh my god okay the answer's no no and i'm telling you why because if you're holding on

to who somebody was for six months out of the three years you've been together he was never that person I hate to break it to you I know you have a child there is a child involved which makes things difficult but he was never that person that person does not exist he never existed honestly I don't know what to say, I literally don't know what to say besides, you're gonna be all right, like, he was never that person, he, they, they, they, they're, men are fucking cocks, mate, like, they just literally bullshit you, he bullshitted you for six months, sold you the dream life, and then, after six months months he showed you who he really was and look how he actually makes you feel like that is the real him like you crying in bed at night feeling rejected

you haven't been on a date he doesn't ask you how your day was he calls you needy he makes you feel like he hates you you feel like a roommate that is who he is and if you think about that what the hell is there about that man that you actually want like think about him for who he is. And if you think about that, what the hell is there about that man that you actually want? Like think about him for who he actually is. Not this like dream man that he sold you at the beginning because it's bullshit. Think about him and take what he's given you at face value. What do you actually want from somebody like that? What does he actually bring in for you as a boyfriend? What does he actually do to make you feel good about yourself and feel loved I'm sorry that's what we need to think about here babes like that is who you're with and if there's

anyone listening right now where you've been because honestly the love bomb is real he love bombed you for six months and if there's anyone listening that can relate to this they love bomb you for six months they sell you the dream and then they show you who they really are and for some reason we we refuse we're like no no no that's not who you are that's not who you are who you were for six months at the beginning that's who you are that's the guy i met the guy who you met ain't real he doesn't even exist he was made up okay it was? It was a fake little show. And this is the real him. And they do it with all of them. They do it to every girl.

The next girl he meets, he'll do the six-month bullshit. And then she'll be feeling how you're feeling. So don't think that when he's with somebody else, it looks all amazing. And he's giving her this life that you dreamt. And he loves her like he never loved you. He'll do the six-month bollocks. And then he'll treat her how he never loved you he'll do the six months bollocks and then he'll treat her how he's treating you honestly the love bomb is real and that's not this isn't who who you deserve to be with you deserve to be with somebody that makes you feel

safe at the very bare minimum like can we all just agree now, everyone listening, we are never going to be in a relationship again, any of you, not her, not any of you, where we don't even feel at the fucking bottom of the barrel, we don't even feel safe in the relationship, I don't even feel like I can express my feelings to you, no, no and no, if I can't even feel secure, safe, content with the person I'm with, I don't want it, okay? And neither do any of you. That, it breaks me. It actually breaks me thinking about it. But honestly, just walk away. I never say this. Well, I do, but I rarely say it. I rarely tell somebody, away but walk away like take it take it from an outsider like you said you want someone else's opinion you will you will be so

happy again and I promise I promise and the breakup I guarantee it won't even hurt you as much as you think it will because this relationship is causing you way more pain than a breakup possibly could trust me all right I'm absolutely gutted for you like it's horrendous like I can't get my words out but yeah I I am gutted for you um but I want you to know that you are worthy and deserve so much. Like you deserve, you just deserve so much. Honestly, it's, it's, I can't get my words out, but you really do just deserve the world. And to feel like, to feel hated by your boyfriend, To feel hated by your boyfriend, to feel hated by your boyfriend is fucking madness, okay? Like, at the bare minimum, I want to feel like you're a fan of who I am as a human being.

Like, I would like to feel like an acquaintance at least. I can't, no. I'm so sorry. You're gonna be all right I think that's the one thing we need to think about here you're gonna be okay um and I I can almost guarantee you that this breakup won't even hurt you as much as you think it will because being in the relationship is gonna be causing you way more pain than not being in that relationship when you're not in that relationship there's gonna be no one by your side that's gonna make you feel this low anymore and that sounds fucking amazing to me so walk away I've said it twice in this episode and I never really say that but okay let's move on to the next dilemma I love you so much okay this one's called need some help from my girls first adore you adore the podcast keep doing what you're doing

love you love you love you okay dilemma time i was with my boyfriend of four years we planned got a lot of breaking up at the moment is it me is it my fault okay sorry to make this the vibe of this episode it really wasn't planned but here we go so we planned our future together house wedding kids the lot of course we always do don't we then one day he asked if we could talk never a great sign then he told me that evening oh my god oh my god oh my god i feel sick i could throw up i can honestly throw up i won't sorry he told me that he'd fallen out of love with me it gets worse over the last year yeah did you guys hear that for the last year babe the last year of your life i've taken from

you didn't even love you like there's one thing going you know i feel like there isn't a spark anymore i didn't love you for the last year. Fuck off. You don't have to say that. You literally don't have to be that honest. Carrying on. And he didn't see us going anywhere. Throughout our time together, he was very poorly and he felt like he couldn't be his old self

after the illness he'd gotten stable. I too felt like we had drifted and we weren't the same people, but deep down, i still loved him and wanted to have a future we broke up and life moved on i now have a boyfriend i'm about a year and things are fantastic i adore him he adores me and treats me like a princess yay i have no dilemma here oh wait here we go moving on but i can't stop checking my ex-boyfriend's social media, even bloody Spotify. I did not know that was a thing. It doesn't help I have all his family on socials too. I have now removed

them all, but I just want some tips on how to stop caring about him. Every time I end up on his Insta, I think to myself, what the hell am I doing? Just pure frustration. Any help from you and the podcast will be so extremely helpful. Love you lots, bestie. Love you more, you more bestie bestie so I actually think this has a little bit to do with the rejection I also think it can be a habit I think we can get very addicted to certain behaviors um so it could be a habit that you're in and maybe it's the case of just breaking that habit um I'm not overly concerned like I think it's pretty common to still be a little bit interested in your ex's life maybe even a year down the line I really do um it's been years since I broke up with my ex but I'm still interested like I'd still like to know what you're doing so we got a tattoo

the other day I was like oh come on hun didn't really have a tattoo for a kind of guy but you know what I mean I think it's really normal to be interested in your ex's life um but to be checking his social media and Spotify I mean you didn't say daily are you doing it daily you said you can't stop um oh yeah like I said I think it could be the rejection thing as well it's like he fell out of love with you didn't want to be with you and it's like that's really fucking hard to accept sometimes like it's really hard to deal with rejection so I think if you'd broken up with him you probably wouldn't be you wouldn't be doing all this stalking I really don't but because he ended up with you I think that's probably part of it so I wouldn't be overly concerned about it I

would just more try and stop I think it might be a bit of a habit it can get really addictive like it can um yeah I wouldn't say like oh my god like I think you're in love with your ex like I really don't think it's that I I do just think it's like um one of those habits or at least just like at least just something to do with our ego like I do do you know what I mean um but yeah I really don't I really don't think it's too bad so yeah um let me know what you guys think over on Instagram also let's let's do a little little easter egg in mid-episode go over to the leah on the line instagram page and leave an emoji what emoji should we put leave the aubergine emoji on the most recent post on the leah on the line instagram page and i will stalk you all i did it last time i did with the purple hearts but so many of you are private most people most people on instagram are private, I feel like. Like 60% are private. Why is that?

Do you know what I mean? Just out of interest. But yeah, make sure you aren't on private, just at least for tomorrow or whenever you do it, because I will be constantly checking. But yeah, let's move on to a new dilemma. Okay, let's dive into this one. I think my guy flatmate fancies my boyfriend. Oh my god. Hi Leah, it's currently 1am and I need your advice alone. So I share a flat with my gay bestie of five years and this year I got my first boyfriend since I've known this friend. They've become really good friends. Friends? I just said friends with TH at the beginning. It's because I put on my reading voice when I read. Do you know what I mean by that like my phone voice anyway they've become really good friends through me

which is fair enough but i can't help but think my friend is getting too close to my boyfriend he constantly invites him out to like the cinema to watch cricket matches with him or on nights nights out why did i why did i go like ozzy oh no it. It's happened again. Oh, no, Bindi. Oh, my fucking God, guys. I made a fucking TikTok the other day talking about Michael and Sharni and how they had me in a fucking chokehold when I was a teenager. Actually, I wasn't even a teenager. That's quite embarrassing. I was actually in my 20s, but whatever.

And I used to walk around talking like this all the time. Bindi, what have you done? Come here now. And they both fucking commented on it. So don't talk to me ever again because I'm fucking best friends with Sharnia Michael. Anyway, back to the dilemma. Anyway, sorry guys. Where did I get to? On nights out with him, which I often can't join them on because the professional nature of my job. He also tells my boyfriend really personal things about his sex life with other guys which my boyfriend has fed back to me but he himself has never told me half of this stuff despite the fact we're supposed to be besties and he phones my boyfriend straight

away when anything slightly inconvenient happens to him i can't work out if it's all normal because they've just become really good friends and have things in common e.g their love of cricket or if it's just weird it's got to the point where my bF goes around to my flat when I'm not even in the city just to see him and part of me really doesn't like that. It's not that I don't trust my boyfriend because firstly he's straight and secondly he shows me every day that he loves me but I'm not sure I trust my friend as he has been a homewrecker in relationships before and I know my boyfriend is his typical type and part of me thinks that the really graphic sexual stories he tells my boyfriend is to make him jealous is a plot to try and make him jealous I have no clue oh my goodness um I might be going crazy

it's not something I want to speak about because I don't want to ruin the amazing long friendship we have on something that might be completely over thought because of my own insecurities also my friend has never had a really close male friend and he's only ever been friends with girls so maybe it's just innocent and he's really pleased to have a close male friend at last i don't know am i being naive oh what do you guys think it's a tricky one it is a tricky one because it's like going what just because he's gay doesn't mean he wants to fuck your boyfriend do you know what i mean but if it was a girl i'd be like whoa whoa but you guys know how i feel about male female platonic friendships that's a that's an argument for another day well we've already had the argument so too late um oh fuck i mean have you spoken to your friend about it

i feel like it's a valid thing to to bring up you can be like look I know I sound like a psycho crazy girlfriend right now I just I just want to get off my chest um you don't have to be like I don't want you to hang around my boyfriend anymore you can just be like am I being crazy or do you like please just tell me if you have feelings for him like I won't hold it against you I won't be upset just tell me you fancy him do you know what I mean like I think maybe that is a conversation you can have um you can be like look I'm so sorry if this comes across really nasty but I literally I don't want to I don't want to get this situation wrong and I don't want to like make this big thing in my head like I'd rather you be able to shut it down for me you know it's likely that he's gonna lie do you know what I mean like say he does fancy

your boyfriend he ain't gonna be like yeah I do i fucking fancy him i want to suck him off like he's not gonna admit it well he might you never know but you might be able to get a bit of a clearer answer from what he says because if do you know what i mean if it was me i think i'd just be i don't know maybe i would make a joke i mean i'm not gonna run away with my boyfriend are you hon do you know what i mean like i don't know i think I'd probably make a joke about it and see how he would react to that like if he'd be like or if he'd be like yeah yeah you fucking better watch out babe I'd be like shut the fuck up or if he'd be like oh no do you know what I mean that's fucking gross I think whether someone tells the truth or not is one thing but then also you can kind of get an idea from the way that they respond to something. So yeah, I do feel like you have

the right to say something. It's difficult, isn't it? Because he could turn around and go, look, babe, just because I like cock doesn't mean I want your boyfriend. Do you know what I mean? Like it could come across just really fucking offensive. But at the same time you have the right to feel jealous because they're very close and your best friend's into guys and your boyfriend's a guy do you know what i mean like i think you have the right to to say like i might be being a major bitch here and i could be making this up and i could have created this whole thing in my head but you are my best friend and i feel like i can tell you I feel like I can be honest with you please tell me to shut the fuck up if I am completely wrong like please do um but this is just genuinely something that's been in my head and I really don't want to I really don't

want to feel this way towards you if it's not true what do you guys think about that is that out of order to approach them and ask because if it was say it was my best friend like say it was Jess or Zoe and she was hanging out one-on-one with my boyfriend and spending all this time with them, I'd be like, what's that all about? Like, do you want to suck off my boyfriend? But then, yeah, I don't know. It's fucking hard, isn't it?

It's so hard. Because you'd want your best friend and your boyfriend to have a really good relationship and be friends. isn't it it's so hard because you'd want your best friend and your boyfriend to have a really good relationship and be friends um but yeah if it's making you uncomfortable I feel like usually your gut's right you know I always say like sometimes your gut is wrong but I think in situations like this when you can feel that something isn't platonic you're usually right you're usually right do you know what i mean um but not always not always sometimes you can just be like like i've done this before like i've literally been convinced

that my best friend fancies my boyfriend once um and i got well paranoid about it and i was like i don't want them to be alone in the room together and it was literally just me being paranoid as fuck um i never actually approached the situation because i was able to understand that i was literally being a paranoid bitch but because it's been going on for a while and they're obviously very close like you said like he goes to see him when when you're not even around so they're very close which is amazing like if they're actually genuinely that close love that I love it but if it's concerning you I think you have every right to just at least ask the question do you know what I mean you can be like I'm not accusing you of anything i know you would never go behind my back and do that to me i know you're my best friend but you know if you do have feelings for him it's not your fault just you know

am i am i being crazy um what do you guys think is that bad advice for me to say that but then also what you're gonna do just be like yeah you know i mean he probably does fancy him like just crack on her and like what I think you have to really um tricky one yeah yeah I think so I think so anyway I'm gonna wrap up the episode I had a really nice time recording this episode she's actually really lifted my spirit I did have a little bit of a cry in the middle because I was so upset for that girl um but I love you guys so much honestly I'm really enjoying the podcast at the moment I literally love it it's it's like I know I say this all the time it's the most stable thing in my life but it is it genuinely is I'm not even taking the piss like I just love it I don't know what I would do about it I don't know how I would have gotten through my breakup without it I don't

know how I would get through moving home without it I it's just what gets me through every single day I have this to think about and that's it might be sad but it's like I'll take it you know what I mean like this is like probably the most important thing in my life right now no joke you guys matter to me so much more than you could ever imagine like you listen every week is such a stability thing for me like just having you listeners it's such a like I have a reason to get out of bed and like keep going i know it sounds a bit dramatic like i'm not suicidal like what's that sound i could be suicidal who is that is that trisha i could be suicidal yeah oh my god do i sound like trisha

what there yeah are you a gemini are you a gemini oh Are you a Gemini? Oh my God, I actually sound like Trish. Trisha Pate, however you say it. Are you a Gemini? Yum. Yum. Why are you doing that? Oh my God, I literally sound like Trish. That's crazy. I literally sound just like her. Anyway, I've been mastering my Kourtney Kardashian impression. Oh no, that doesn't sound like her. Hold on, let me get into it. Get into it, yeah. into it yeah okay ring ring this is how they all answer the phone hi yeah yeah okay bye does that sound like them a lot and then we have kim who is very croaky i can't do kim i cannot do her i will try and learn it i've never tried but i just i was watching the um keeping up it's not keeping up anymore is it's never tried, but I just, I was watching the Keeping Up. It's not Keeping Up anymore,

is it? It's just called The Kardashians. I was watching The Kardashians today, last Thursday's ep, and I was trying to think, what is it about Kim's voice that I just cannot, I cannot sound like her?

And I was like, she's very croaky. Like, she's like, yeah, you guys, you guys, or you guys are gonna die.

You guys are gonna die. I can't say that, die, how do you say die in Kardashian, in Kardashian, you guys are gonna die, you guys are gonna die, Bible, no, I, I'm going into Courtney now, and I'm really in it as well, and I've blown it, and I don't, I don't sound like any of the Kardashians at this point, but you guys, you guys are crazy, you guys are crazy, I don't sound like any of the Kardashians at this point but you guys you guys are crazy you guys are crazy I don't sound like any of them I sound like Billie Eilish then what about Kylie hi Stormi hey guys welcome back to my YouTube channel today we are going to be doing no I don't sound like Kylie at all I can do an Australian accent though. I've made that pretty clear.

That's irrelevant. What I want to know is where these photos came from, whose phone they're on, what's the go? Hello my chickens. Welcome back to my channel. In today's video, I'm going to be doing a makeup tutorial. I'm going to be showing you how I got this look right here. So if you want to see how I created it, just keep watching. I'm going to be showing you how I got this look right here. So if you want to see how I created it, just keep watching. Okay. I'm going to call it a day now. Oh, I'm going to call it a fucking day now. Oh, you're that fucking ugly. Hello, Bindi. Oh, fucking hell. I'm so annoying. If you haven't switched off right now, I love you. Remember to comment the aubergine emoji. Actually, if you're listening right at the end, comment an aubergine emoji with a little peach

emoji next to it how about that babe how about that honey actually actually just comment do one comment of the aubergine emoji and then do another comment of the peach emoji when you get to this part because you probably already did the aubergine by now do you know what i mean anyway i'm gonna stop trying to do terrible terrible impersonations and actually go to bed now. This episode is going live in 24 minutes. So if you're listening at midnight, I was here 24 minutes ago. I love you guys. To my midnight listeners, I honestly love you so much.

You're the best. Anyway, I will see you on Friday for the first confessions episode. Make sure you send them. I don't have any yet. Send them, send them, send them. Okay, guys, I will see you on Friday. I love you so much. You're the best things. You're the okay guys i will see you on friday i love you so much do the best things do the best things in my life best friends i love you bye