Leah on the Line - 22: Prioritising yourself over your relationship & why he only lasts 20 seconds in bed!

Episode Date: June 13, 2022

Hey my honeys! Welcome back to a brand new episode. I absolutely loved this episode because the dilemmas really were all so different and we covered some brand new topics here on Leah on the Line! I am having so much fun with these episodes at the moment and cannot thank you enough for your support. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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It's getting closer to midnight. I try to get closer to you. Hello. Hey, everyone. Hey, everyone. How are you? How you doing, you sexy, sexy people? Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. What's new? I'll tell you what's new. The Confessions Diaries. How was it? How was it? If you didn't listen, fuck off. I'm joking. If you didn't listen, I would just like to know why just roughly just roughly like round up your reasons as as to why you didn't listen to me no i'm kidding um honestly i had so much fun it was so it was so raunchy i was really quite taken aback by some of you you're

some dirty dirty people but we're a little i say we're a little bit more pg on tuesdays we're still not PG. Like I don't think I can ever use that word to describe Lear on the line. But the confession diaries were really, really quite, what's the word? Explicit. Very, just like absolutely no boundaries. We didn't hold back at all, did we everyone? But I had so much fun.

How are you what's new let me think what's new in my life honestly not that much um I'm feeling really good I feel like maybe every Tuesday we should rate our mental health out of 10 or just like maybe not our mental health maybe just like roughly how we're feeling out of 10 so everybody have a little think about that out of, how are you feeling right now? Really? Okay. What was your reason for giving that number then?

What would make it a 10 for you? Right, got you. Yeah, makes sense. I would give myself right now probably like an eight. I'm not even going to beat around the bush. I think that's a pretty good number considering um so yeah let's make that thing I'll probably forget next week I'm gonna try not to but diving in by the way by the way this is going live at midnight like it always does the time is currently 11 p.m um so good luck to me

um but I'm near on the line and I don't let I don't let you guys down do I put it that way have I ever let you down on Tuesday no no I haven't would I ever absolutely not so let's dive in to this week's weekly debate oh wait the reason I was I actually just mentioned that is because I need to be reasonably quiet and I'm a bit scared because by the time I get to the end and I've got to go love you bye it's gonna be late and be late. And my brother's going to kill me. So maybe we'll whisper it this week. Just so you've got a heads up. But I don't know. Maybe I'll just feel really fucking brave.

And I'll just scream it. And deal with the wrath of Aaron. That's my brother's name. Do you guys know I have a twin? A lot of you don't know that. I have a twin brother. His name's Aaron. He lives.

He lives upstairs. But he's moving out soon. He just bought a house with his girlfriend, so I'll be able to shout, love you, bye, until my heart's content no matter what time, because my mum doesn't care. It's just him. But anyway, the weekly debate this week, babes, is do you prioritise your friends or your partner? partner yeah i actually do think this one is difficult and i feel like a lot of people it is actually easy but for me i find it difficult but let's have a look what you guys think because i really don't know what to expect from you your response here um my friends friendships last longer but this is scary to me because it is true like friendships do last longer like to be fair they are going to be there for you when your relationships

fall apart and go shit like my mum has had the same best friends since she was like tiny and you know they've been through their like teenage relationships they're like early 20s relationships they're having their first children they're like they're like marriages ending or whatever like they've been through everything together so it's like that is your soulmate you know what i mean you you have to prioritize your potentially soon to be husband surely but realistically my mom's been there for you since day one hun i'll have to ask her who she prioritized maybe she'll listen to this because sometimes i know she does listen or sometimes her daughter does. Hey, Becky. Hey, girl. Ask your mom who comes first, my mom or

Mark. All right. All right. Going back to what you guys are saying, let's have a look. Think it depends on your age. Now, I actually do agree with that like that that does make a lot of sense to me to be fair um 50 50 always okay yeah okay sure but I guess my question is who do you prioritize like if I'm making you choose who are you going to choose um somebody says I think it's circumstantial I'm engaged my fiance is my priority as he's my future see this is how I see it which is why it's difficult because it's like like I said my best friend she'll be there for me through thick and thin through my successful relationships my failed relationships through career highs career lows personal highs personal lows like your best friend has you yeah but I don't expect her to choose me over not put choose me

prioritize me over her like baby daddy do you know what I mean so it's very difficult because it's like even though realistically I am your soulmate not him like realistically I am gonna be there for you not him but do you know you know what I mean? Realistically, I am your soulmate and vice versa. So like, why, why are you choosing your boyfriend over me? I don't actually mean that. Okay. Um, but this is my point. Like, even though you have each other through thick and thin, you do sort, I do expect you to choose the father of your children, not choose, sorry, that's not the right word. Prioritize the father of your children over me.

Innit? Do you know what I mean? Back to you guys. But does that make sense what I'm saying? I'd like to say both, but truthfully my partner more, mostly because we live together, it's a lifestyle thing. Yeah, that makes sense to me. I think you have to prioritize your friend and your partner and have that balance prioritize spending time which whatever makes you happiest but make time

for both oh yeah do you know what that's just a great way to think about it I haven't actually thought about like that like what what's best for you like not not like what is right and what is wrong and who's going to be there for you when this happens but just like what's best for you and what do you need um somebody says i've been with my fiance nine years and my best friends are my life i prioritize seeing him each weekend but will happily do day with him slash night with them or night with him slash day with them so you you have a great balance that is fantastic um i find this so hard definitely think it should be 50 50 I've always kept a balance between friends and my partner both mean a lot to me um it depends on the situation if you're in a healthy relationship you can prioritize both

in the ways that are needed somebody says your friends you're gonna need them if anything goes wrong but yeah 100% agree with you this is what I said as well so I do agree but let's think about it like this as well sometimes our boyfriends are fucking right about friends aren't they aren't they like boys always see through to fake friends they're like nah she's not a good friend like they always know before I do and I'm like really like do you not think I should trust her and then the guy's always like, nope, trust me. And then eventually I'll be like, you were right about her. She was a fucking snake. So, and also like, let's say that you're with your partner with the intention of spending your life with him, marrying him. He's going to be there for you through thick and thin

as well then, surely, if you're not going nowhere, ideally. Surely I can rely on you the same I can rely on my friends. Hmm. I don't know. It's a tricky one. Depends on the situation. It's good to get a good balance, but my girls mean the world to me. My relationship was very toxic. I'm now such an amazing guy that doesn't even make me think this way.

But I made the mistake. I lost two of my best friends yeah I get you I think it can be difficult like especially in a toxic situation um especially with like if you're dealing with a little narcissist they can they can seclude you and take you away from your friends which is a whole nother what's the game what's the game what's the game what's what's the phrase the ball game? What's the game? What's the phrase? The ball game? Whole nother ball game? I don't know. Both should be important, but if you have a long-term partner slash married to them slash have kids. Oh my God, I hate when it's in two because I can't find the other one now. I guess we'll never know what she was going to say. I think people end up prioritizing new relationships, but friends are everything. Yeah, I feel like

at the beginning you get all like wrapped up.'re like my boyfriend's my life I definitely am guilty of this like I get so swept off my feet I'm like this is everything like nothing makes me happier than being with you um and that doesn't mean I prioritize him it just means that and I don't neglect my friend but it just means I get so like momentarily wrapped up that I haven't quite got the right balance yet and then I will manage to figure out some sort of balance you know what I mean um I always try to have a healthy balance of both yeah a lot of you are saying that you try to have a healthy balance but if I'm asking you to pick, who do you prioritise? I'm trying to think of a scenario like, OK, I've got it.

You're away from home. You get a call from your fiancé. Babe, I really need you right now. I really, really need you right now. You're like, OK, that's fine, that's fine. Then you go, hold on a a minute Millie's calling me Millie's your best friend right Mills what's up Millie goes Leah or whatever your name is I really need you right now I really need you you go ah okay bit of a tricky one because

um Craig actually just called me and and he needs me as well so I'm in a difficult situation here um what do you do then guys I guess it depends on like if you think I suppose you'd have to deep it and be like well depends like here's my friend got a boyfriend considering her boyfriend what about her mum like can my boyfriend get his mates I mean depends what's who's in more trouble so yeah just kind of made the dilemma more complicated than it needed to be so just I'm just gonna shut the fuck up how about that um it should be an equal balance I think but I have a habit of prioritizing my partner yeah I can I can totally relate to that partner always that bitch is my soulmate forever okay and I know this girl and I know she's been with her partner for like I think we worked out to be like three quarters of my lifetime or something mad

like that um and look it makes total sense to me like if that's your soulmate that's your soulmate yeah again I suppose it's situational like if you've been with your partner for like stupid amount of years, like 15 years or so, they're not going nowhere. Ideally, I mean, hopefully that is your rock ride or die. You are my best friend. But if you're like, I've been best friends with this girl for 15 years and now I'm in a new relationship, we've only been together a couple of years. Then that becomes a tricky one. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, somebody said, can we go on a date please? Let me have a look, I'm going to pop on their profile, guys I may have found myself a future husband, oh I can't figure out how to get on their profile, never mind, it's not meant to be. Okay, back to the weekly debate, Okay, back to the, uh, back to the weekly debate. Um, I also, okay, okay, I think it depends.

Certain friends aren't worth it. Oh, ouch, honey. Ouch, ouch, ouch. This girl says whoever prioritizes you. Okay, I can fucking feel this because I've been in a relationship where I prioritized my partner and he did not prioritize me and I think I was just one big fat fucking mug okay um so I totally agree with that one friends for sure partners come and go friends will be the ones to help you when they do yeah I love that but realistically I just don't want partners to come and go like I do just want one partner I just want it to be it so but if you're seeing it like that, for sure, prioritize your friends. That makes total sense to me. It really does. Because your friends really are amazing when you need them to be, aren't they? Like, your friends really are what gets you through this

kind of shit. What would we do about our friends? I do not know okay interesting debate I really don't know where I stand I feel like it's a very situational one but I did actually do a poll this week and I gave you four different weekly debates and I asked you guys to pick one that was probably my least favorite out of the four but it won not by much but it did win um so I was like okay I guess we'll do it but the reason it was probably not one of my favorites is because I feel like it is very situational like it isn't as straightforward as as some of them but the other ones that I put up and I'm gonna do let me have a look I think I'll probably do the one that came second next week which is going to be oh my god I'm so sorry I'm wasting everyone's time oh actually we had a draw first number one

and two were joint second and they are does someone's financial situation matter to you and what do red flags look like to you so let me know which one you reckon we should do next week I quite like the financial situation one I feel like that's quite a cute one um but number four which not many of you voted for it lost by quite a few votes but it was does someone's career choice matter to you and I feel like that's a really good one like for me it does it really does we'll get into that debate because I will save it but I feel like that's a really good um weekly debate because it's like do you want someone that's working nine to five do you want someone that doesn't work night shifts do you want someone that has a creative career choice do you want someone that's working nine to five do you want someone that doesn't work night shifts do you want someone that has a creative career choice do you want

someone that's like self-employed so he has free time like do you know what i mean i feel like it is quite a good debate but yeah let me know if you like it because apparently you all fucking hate it so um guess i'll just go fuck myself um i'm kidding let's get in to some dilemmas I feel like I'm all over the place especially in the last two episodes like I feel like I just really I'm going off on a tangent can't get my words out I mean that's pretty normal for me but even worse like I'm just chatting shit but honestly I can't explain it I'm in a weird I had a weird day today I woke up at 7am even though I've not been sleeping till like 3 4am though to be fair so that is why um maybe I'm in a weird, I had a weird day today. I woke up at 7am, even though I've not been sleeping until like 3, 4am though, to be fair. So that is why.

Maybe I'm a bit boggled in the brain. So yeah, let's actually get into the dilemmas. I was going to say confessions. Leah, just get your fucking shit together. Okay, this one, I feel like I've done this before like when I read the first half I was like I'm sure I've answered this dilemma before but then when I got to the second half I was like I don't think I've ever ever answered this dilemma so I'm sorry if it's a repeat but I either have or I mean I either haven't or I have severe memory loss and should

see a doctor so please let me know if I have done this before because I have no memory of giving any advice about this so I feel like it is literally brand new I don't think we've ever discussed this on the pod so if if I have then there's actually something wrong with my brain but I'm just going to get into it now and stop wasting your time shall I okay okay so I've been seeing this guy for a fair few weeks now. For context, I'm 20 and he's 22. Perfect, I feel like it's a great age gap. I've been in a relationship before but he hasn't. He's absolutely lovely and definitely boyfriend material. However, I have been really happy single since breaking up with my ex and I want to stay that way for now, at least during my

girl's holiday in a few weeks. He actually asked me tonight how I was feeling about us and I explained that I was happy single and would like to keep seeing him as long as he understands I'm not ready to commit yet. I might never change my mind on that. So I'd understand if he didn't want to see me anymore as he's made it clear he's looking for a relationship. Anyway, he was fine with that and happy to keep seeing me and take things slow. Okay, so you're like, look, I don't want a boyfriend i do really like you but i am i am trying to stay single right now i totally understand if that's not okay with you i know you're looking for a relationship i understand if like you feel like i'm wasting your time like feel free to walk away and he's like no i'm into it let's just keep going let's just see how it goes

now for the actual problem i really value good sex in any relationship i get into as i'm quite a sexual person especially in the early stages which we are in now the first time i slept with him all the build-up was really good but then the actual sex only lasted 20 seconds before he came i would never say anything bad to him about it as i wouldn't want him to feel embarrassed and i thought maybe it was just the nerves of it being our first time together but I have just slept with him for the second time tonight oh this is like fresh fresh new in dilemma okay um for the second time tonight and the same thing happened again I know this is probably pretty common in guys but it's not something I've ever experienced before and I feel bad for saying it but it's just not enjoyable for me

when it's over that quickly as I say as I say all the foreplay is really good so maybe I should just look past it but it feels like quite a big deal to me am i being selfish thinking that should i keep seeing someone if the sex isn't as good as i've had in the past perhaps i'm subconsciously using it as an excuse to justify not committing to him because there isn't much else i can fault him on so far just not sure what to do as i don't want to make him feel bad about it but equally feel i need to mention it so we can work on it together any advice please thanks very much absolutely loving the podcast and I really hope everything is okay with you love you so much okay I feel like this is a great dilemma I'm always convinced I haven't actually read this now that I've read the bottom half I'm

like no I've never given advice on this before so I really respect your honesty with him about the like relationship situation really respect it so the actual dilemma he lost 20 seconds in bed that's the dilemma um you said it's never happened to you it's also oh it has happened to me it has happened to me once um but it didn't happen again but for you it happened twice now what i will say is in my previous relationship i both of us have said this publicly so please don't think that i'm like publicly embarrassing him like we used to joke about it on youtube all the time he will not care that i'm saying this we've said it loads of times publicly our first few times having sex were not great. Like they weren't bad, but like we had like similar issues. Okay. Not that, but something. And I was like the first two times I was like, he's not fucking attracted to me. Like

everything is perfect. I fancy the pants off of him. We get on like a house on fire, but the sex is, it's just not there. And then it ended up amazing. Like this ex became incredible. So I would say don't give up hope because it could just be that he's like, oh my God, you're the best looking guy I've ever seen in my life. I can't even last longer than 20 seconds. You make me crazy. Or it could be a case of selfishness like he could be thinking he's pleasuring you like doing all the good good in the foreplay making you finish hopefully you didn't mention that but i'm assuming because you said the build-up's good but the only sex the the sex only lasted 20 seconds so perhaps maybe he's thinking she's done like i finished her little situation now is my time to shine not shine my time to orgasm and he's like

pump pump done pump that word makes me sick pump Pump. Ugh, gross. But, you know, that could be a possibility. So, I think it could just get better on its own. Like, it could just be fine. But, like, is he embarrassed about it? Like, I feel like most guys would be like, sorry, that was quick. Do you know what I mean like he's surely he's aware you know i'm sure the boys watched porn porn before they don't ask 20 seconds so i'm sure the guy's aware at 22 years old i'm sure he's aware that like 20 seconds is pretty quick and is he not like mentioning it is he not like oh sorry that was fucking quick wasn't it is he just like oh king i'm fucking amazing and you're just like uh-huh yeah so that is the one

thing that's confusing me like is he genuinely not like um is he just genuinely not addressing it like I feel like any guy would be like oh sorry or at least just like Christ couldn't couldn't stop myself or anything but he's just like not mentioned it as far as I'm aware so yeah you said you want to address it and I think you should I would if it was me I'd be like so are you always that quick in bed like I'm not beating around the bush I'm just genuinely asking you a question is that is, is that just, like, how long you last, is there, like, got any more steam, do you know what I mean, is, is that all you got, no, I don't care, but I would, I would just be, like, so, like, you know, last couple times I had sex, it's been pretty quick, like, is that normal for you, like, is that just how long it takes, and if he's, like, yeah, why why you could just be like well you know it

feels great so maybe is there a way we can long it out maybe like when you feel like you're about to maybe just take a little breather you know maybe we'll pause for a moment how about that how about we play a fun game well when you think you're about to don't okay stop stop what you're doing think about something horrible I don't know I feel like guys are so aware of like not last not lasting long in bed and like how that's like a thing so yeah I would just say it like I wouldn't even beat around the bush to be honest but that's just me um yeah I don't think you know it could just be the first few times like I said it happened to me and then after that sex was fantastic so yeah maybe that's maybe I don't know I don't know I quit my podcast I don't even know no I'm kidding I will never quit

you guys will never get rid of me okay next dilemma love you hey Leah love you and love the pod and can't wait for the more frequent episodes thank you I love you so much hope you're having the best week anyway I have a dilemma for you and would love some advice so I've never had a best friend I've had close friends in the past but since coming to uni I've made some really amazing friends and now I finally know what real friends are I come out of spending time with them feeling positive and have a smile on my face whenever we talk. Whilst at uni I've realised that some of my friends back home just aren't for me. They never make an effort and it sounds so bad to say but I always leave them feeling negative. They're quite negative people and quite toxic to

be around. It's all about the drama with them. I'm going home for summer and will be home for quite a few months. I need your advice on how to distance myself. I feel so bad and selfish, but at the end of the day, they're not bringing me love and positivity. I have to put myself first, right? This is where I'm stuck as I don't like arguments and confrontation. I don't want to make them feel like shit, but they're not bringing anything to my life and I feel I need to take a step back and surround myself with positive people who make me feel happy. It's been getting me down as I just don't know how to go about this and I'm nervous about going back home for this reason as all my uni friends live on opposite ends of the country thank you in advance for the advice love you bye I love it I love it when you guys sign off your

emails with that or your like dms and stuff okay so I feel like there's a few ways you can go about this you can either just go look they're just going to be my company for the summer you know like not all my friends are going to be like my favorite people like some of them they are going to do your head in every now and then but if they're your friends do you know what I mean oh fucking hell they're chatting shit being all dramatic again slagging each other off but I just don't get involved in that and I just enjoy their company over the summer and then I go back to uni where I've got some friends that I feel a bit closer to and I get on better with and enjoy their time a bit more these are just my summer friends and you know we're not as connected as my uni friends but that's absolutely fine like our friendships are

different or you're like I'm just not interested in these people anymore and I'm just gonna ghost and I'm gonna prioritize my own happiness and what's good for me and just distance myself and you know if they message me I'll just reply and if they bring it up you know maybe you don't have to do it in like a ghost and bitching way like it doesn't have to be like black unfollow like you can literally just be like just go quiet for the summer and if they do approach you and go um what the fuck happened to you we haven't seen you all summer you can be like look I'm not gonna lie I'm just I've just changed a bit and I'm just focusing on myself a bit, you know,

or if that's what you want to do, or you can talk to them and say you feel like hanging out with them can wear you down sometimes with all the drama and stuff and you just want to have like good times and good vibes and positive energy and stuff like that. And maybe, maybe they'll shift up. Maybe they'll be like yeah do you know what you're right sometimes we are just a little bit of fucking negative aren't we so yeah I don't know there's definitely other options but you've got a few ways you can go about it it sort of just depends on what you want to get out of the situation like do you want to um do you want to hang out with them or do you just have you made the decision in your head

already that you're like this is the end of our friendship like I'm not interested in any sort of friendship with you because you know you could just accept that you're different to them now um and people drift and that's that's just life because it's totally normal, especially when you go to uni, especially when you go to uni. Or you could accept that they're not really that similar to you, but you still can somewhat enjoy their company and it's better than just staying on your own for the summer and it is what it is. Do you know what I mean? So it really depends on what you want the outcome of the situation to be. And I don't think you should feel guilty about it because want the outcome of the situation to be and I don't think you should feel guilty about it because at the end of the day people change and like you've gone to uni

you're growing up you know you're drifting from then you're different to them you've met new friends that you feel more connected with and that happens like the friends that I had before uni I don't talk to anymore let's be honest I don't talk to the friends I had in uni anymore so I think it is just a part of life like people grow people change people drift people learn what they they want from friendships and what they don't want and like you said you didn't really realize how much these friendships were wearing you down until you stepped into a new a new one um and that's absolutely fine and I don't think you're be in a bad person if you do decide to go that way about it so yeah I'm not going to tell you what to do because I don't know what

you want out of the situation but if you've decided that you don't want to be friends with them I don't think that's very unusual to be honest I think it happens a lot at uni like when everyone in your hometown all drifts and goes to uni it's uncommon that you'll come back together at the summer and you're all the same people and have the same connections like it's so uncommon um and if that's not if that's not what happens for you guys then i i think that's totally fine i don't think you've got anything oh my gosh did you guys hear that on my phone i don't think you've got anything to be ashamed of at all. You guys, you guys, you have this in the bag or whatever you want out of the situation. Good luck and don't feel

bad about it. Love you. Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic, not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Let's go next dilemma hey leah i hope you're doing well absolutely obsessed with the podcast my number one choice for every train ride into work yay thank you okay so i've been single for just over two years now following ending things with my ex of of six years at the beginning of the first lockdown sorry my mic just cut off continuing on okay of the first lockdown this was a super difficult time in my life however we didn't want the same things in our future it was 100% for the best obviously becoming single and having to move home in a lockdown wasn't ideal but i did

actually quite enjoy spending a year or so working on myself and spending quality time with family me that is me right now fast but I'm not in lockdown so that must have been a lot harder actually to be fair okay next why am I out of breath I'm literally sat in my bed um fast forward two years I've made a real effort to put myself out there again in the hope of meeting someone yay it's been two years perfect time to just go okay i'm ready going on lots of dates and pushing myself massively out of my comfort zone unfortunately however i just seem to be having the worst luck and i don't know what i'm doing wrong last summer i dated a guy for three months and thought he could have been the one until i was completely blindsided when he ended things over text saying he didn't think we were

quite right for each other. I've been on several second date, oh second and sometimes third dates with other guys but the same thing always happens and they lose interest. The most recent guy I've been with, I've been dating, seemed great but in the past few days he has grown distant and has now taken two to four days to respond to my messages got a feeling he will probably try and go to it this way so may as well end it myself before it gets to that point which makes me so sad as really liked him but probably less painful i genuinely feel like i'm never going to meet anyone at this point and all my friends are in long-term happy relationships which just makes me feel even more lonely any advice advice would be much appreciated. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself.

I'm pretty clueless at this point, but I'm in my late 20s and feel like I'm running out of time. Love you lots, and thank you in advance. Love you so much. And first thing I'm going to say is, you are not running out of fucking time. You're in your late 20s. 20s, okay? you're literally not running out of time you have so much time so much time okay okay let's unpack so you were dating a guy for three months you thought he was the one and he just ended things over text and you're not right for each other see you later and you were like oh my fucking god and you know what sometimes the situationships they can hurt more than a fucking breakup. They're just shit. Because you feel so rejected. You're like, you never even wanted to be with me.

Like, what the fuck? Like, I fell for you and you never even wanted to make me your girlfriend. It's just that feeling of rejection and just being unwanted is just fucking shit. Okay. I've been on several second and sometimes third dates, but the same thing always happens and they lose interest okay but this does not mean that you are the problem like it could genuinely be the guys that you're taking out on dates don't have the best interest like or or or it could be the universe saying you need to go through dates you need to be going through these people like fizzling through what you do and don't want in people and it could be the universe being like I'm not just gonna give you your fucking husband like that babe we've got a couple of lessons to learn first yeah and I know you're probably

getting to the point where like I don't want another lesson I just want a nice boy but it is so important because we don't know what we don't want from a guy until we see it so for example like say for you communication in a relationship was a massive priority you might not have realized that unless you'd went out with a guy for a few months who did not communicate his feelings and it dragged you down and made you feel really low and made you feel in the dark and made you feel really confused and left out and you it fucked with your head you didn't know where you stood and that relationship goes nowhere because that's not a compatibility for you that doesn't make sense but you know i mean but if that did not happen you wouldn't know

that you that is a a feature feature what's the word i'm sick of hearing myself saying that what's the word that is not a trait that you wouldn't know that that is a trait that you need in your partner does that make sense have i made any sense here so try not to feel like everyone you date has to be the one like everyone that you date is going to teach you something whether it be painful or not you are gonna walk forward from that and you're always going forward let's always remember that you're never going backwards like don't see it's like oh i've been seeing this guy for three months it's going so well and back to fucking square one he doesn't want to be with me no we learned something massive we're better at dating now we're more um um aware that's the word jesus it's because it's late as well i'm so sorry everyone i must be so annoying to listen to we're more aware of what we want

what we expect what we don't want what we what we don't deserve um and you know you said you've got a feeling this guy this new guy's gonna go because he's taking two to four days to respond yeah i'm sorry that's not good enough like no no this guy i don't know whether he's like talking to somebody else or he doesn't want a relationship right now but it's not it's not looking good is it so i personally wouldn't do the whole texting him being like let's just end this here like this isn't working like i'm just gonna not text you anymore like i'm gonna carry on my life because my life's amazing and if you don't want to be a part of it then that's really fucking embarrassing for you that's really quite pathetic and I'm not going to chase you because listen to this we do not chase we attract okay so we are not texting this boy any emotional shit being like you know I really

liked you but I get the hint like I get the hint I've we've all done it I shit being like you know i really liked you but i get the hint like i get the hint i've we've all done it i've done it you know you're not texting me it's been a few days like i'm not stupid i know what you're doing i get the hint you don't want to fucking be with me and it's fine they just think oh my god go away like they just think oh jesus unless they actually give a fuck which the vibe i'm getting from two to four working days for fucking delivery of a message is just pathetic unless he has a great reason for it but by the sounds of what you said he doesn't um i'm just airing it i'm just not replying and you know if it is a misunderstanding and he does actually give a fuck he'll he'll send you another message won't he and be like hello you're not texting me so yeah i wouldn't even try the whole you're obviously not into me because we

do it for reassurance we do it hoping that they're going to turn around and say i am you're crazy i'm crazy about you you're so wrong i'm crazy about you they don't say that they just go they either ignore it and then you feel like fucking shit or they're like yeah sorry it's not you you're an amazing girl honestly like you're an absolute any guy be so lucky to have you just not shut the fuck up literally so never send that text never send that text because if he genuinely is interested and we just have got the wrong impression by these two to four day replies he'll let you know without you needing to ask 100 percent um i feel like i'm never going to meet anyone at this point okay your friends all in long-term happy relationships good for them

so happy for them does not mean that that's where you should be in your life right now remember the universe always has a plan leave it in the hands of the universe what's meant for you will find you we do not chase we attract like find peace in the fact that it's out of your hands how these situations go and find peace in the fact that there is no pressure on you as a human being to meet somebody like enjoy it if these things if you go on these dates and he airs you or ghosts you just learn something from it like it doesn't need to be oh my god it's me i'm not good enough like you're an absolute 10 out of 10 you're amazing you're sexy beautiful talented funny gorgeous kind sweet honest truthful loving like you're not there's an absolute nothing wrong

with you the way somebody treats you this is such a classic thing to say but the way somebody treats you is never a reflection of you always a reflection of them okay like if i meet somebody and i'm a i'm a lovely person but he's a prick i'm not just gonna start acting like a prick and just start being like you're fucking horrible i hate you because that's just not in me do you know what i mean but if i'm a dick and i meet somebody that's lovely i'm not going to start treating them lovely because i'm a dick so i'm going to treat them like a dick do you know what i mean it's not a reflection of you it's a reflection of them so just because somebody doesn't treat you how you deserve to be treated does not mean that it's because you aren't worthy of it or you aren't good looking enough or you aren't funny enough or they don't enjoy your company enough or you aren't good enough in bed.

Like it's nothing to do with you. Like honestly, what somebody thinks of you, this is what I always think. What someone thinks of me is literally none of my business. Like that is you. That's all you. What I think of me is my business and how I treat people and how I treat myself is my business. And that's what we're going to focus on. I think, I think when we have self-love, we attract, we attract love easier. So yeah, I think maybe work on a

bit of self-love. You said that you've like been through your healing process, you know, you've been single for like two years.'s an amazing time amount of time to spend on your spend by yourself and that I'm honestly so many girls wish they could have done that because I'm one of them people I'm single and I'm like I'm gonna heal like I'm just gonna be by myself like I love myself I don't need anyone and since you've been a couple of months I'm like I'll honestly take a boyfriend at this point but you you gave yourself two years like I'm so proud of you you've absolutely smashed out the park um but that doesn't mean your journey's over like you we're all on a self-love journey our whole lives and we always we should never

neglect that journey we should always always make sure we're working on ourselves so yeah you do you baby girl you're absolutely 10 remember gorgeous funny kind sexy talented like everything above and more and only one lucky guy is going to be the husband to you and he better be worth it that's what i'm saying only you're only going to be the husband to you and he better be worth it that's what I'm saying you're only going to pick one guy to marry so have fun picking not you not you not you not you maybe you actually not you not you maybe you actually not you you yeah it's fun so much fun isn't it picking a husband picking a future husband but you know maybe you'll find your twin flame soon and tell me all about it honestly if you if you have any update on any dilemmas please send them to me because I literally love reading them and I will read them out if I get them okay let's have a look

at a new dilemma okay oh I love you by the way moving on hey Leah absolutely love you and your podcast love you so much okay I'm having a tough time at the moment I feel quite low and anxious but I feel there's no way out of this okay first of all yes there is continuing on I moved in with my boyfriend of four years back in January our relationship is amazing He's my best friend and means the world to me. However, I have no friends in the town we live in and I'm despising my job. My boyfriend has a huge friendship group who are all lovely, but I still can't help feeling so lonely and isolated. I previously lived in Liverpool with a group of friends at uni. Since moving back home, I felt like I have nobody here and that's something I'm struggling with. To add to this, I'm finding my job really emotionally difficult as I work in mental health and I found myself struggling to

switch off meaning I come home most days crying and feeling like shit. To cut long story short I'm really struggling with my life living in this town and would love to move somewhere else and follow my career dreams and build a life I'm actually happy living in. However my boyfriend has just bought a house and recently had a promotion and has already told me he's happy here and couldn't see himself moving away I just know if I stay here my mental health will continue to deteriorate and I hate the idea of relying on my boyfriend for happiness however I could just never lose him from my life I'm so confused with the way that I'm feeling I really don't know what to do any advice would be so helpful right now I hope this makes sense lol okay I have been in your position and I was feeling like you maybe in January February March time

and I was crying every day I hated my life I hated every single day I was exactly the same as you crying daily I hated that my career was just nothing like I was just nowhere in life nothing made me happy I felt so lonely I lived with my boyfriend at the time and and our friend and I had my friend down the road and I was I was miserable like I was just like I hate everything I fucking hate everything and I was like this will never get better my life is gonna be shit like nothing is ever gonna change for me I'm gonna be miserable for life and honestly I was so scared of change that I got more comfortable with the idea of accepting being miserable than ever considering the thought of switching up my life to improve my mental health. And that's fucked up. Okay. So similar, similarly to you, you know, you're living with your boyfriend. I don't know, are you living with him? Or do you just live in the same town? But anyway, you're basically, you're in your situation now

for your boyfriend. Like realistically, you don't like your job, you don't have friends there, you're not happy there. The only thing holding you down in that hometown is your boyfriend. holding you down in that hometown is your boyfriend um and for me it's not enough um clearly clearly it's not enough because look how you feel and I just think I don't want you to feel like that for any longer and if somebody said to me in January February whenever it was come summer you're gonna be living at home, your relationship's going to have ended, and you're going to be in a whole different place. I've been going, no, no way, don't do that to me, like, this is hell, like, this, this is my worst nightmare, but then if somebody said to me, yeah, yeah, yeah,

but listen to this, you're going to be happy. I'd be like, no, there's no way. There's literally no way. So I'm not ever saying that your relationship is going to end because I think the way you're talking about it, I don't know how far your hometown is from. Was it Liverpool, you said? Yeah. how far your hometown is hometown is from was it Liverpool you said yeah but can't you just move and still have a relationship with your boyfriend like can't I okay really see your

situation has to change because you're so unhappy and you do not need to choose this for yourself anymore like your life is worthy of so much more happiness than this and something has got to give right so whether it be you quit your job and you get a new job and you make loads of friends there and you build a whole new life for yourself and it's so scary listen it's so scary yeah saying do you know what this isn't for me i'm having to start again i'm going to build a whole new life it's so scary but when I tell you it is so much scarier to imagine damaging your own mental health for the sake of a relationship than it is to make a lifestyle change to make a big change to admit that a career that you've probably worked really really hard for ain't for you that's's fucking scary, but what's

scarier is neglecting your own mental health, so I think, try a few things, like, I think you should leave your job, like, if you hate it this much, if it makes you cry, if it makes you miserable, it's not worth it, like, I think, do something that you love, and you're passionate about, that makes you want to get out of bed every day,'ll meet people there you can meet your best friends for life at this new job you've got your boyfriend around the corner you've got a new job that you absolutely love and you've got friends that you're hanging out with every day that is honestly how easy life can change like if you just go do you know what I'm going to be really brave and make a massive fucking choice right now it really is that simple like in six months time you can look back and go I never ever thought I'd be here like I never thought I'd do this I never thought

I would ever leave my job in mental health but look at me now and it was the best thing I ever did so I think try that or if that's not an option I mean you'd have to you'd have to leave your job anyway but I was gonna say move back to Liverpool and just travel up and down to your boyfriend, build, build your life in Liverpool again. If maybe you still have friends there from uni. Um, I don't know, like whatever you feel like you're capable of doing, you have to make some sort of change for the better for yourself and prioritize yourself over your relationship your boyfriend cannot be more important to you than you you have to be more important to you than anything else trust me like you have to prioritize yourself um and yeah i promise you that you won't feel

like this forever like like i said not making it about me more in a way of like I understand I've been there and hopefully this gives you hope because I was out of it you know if somebody said to me in six months time you're going to be a whole different person I would have been like I do not believe you for one second so literally stop wasting my time but it happens that quickly and my life has completely switched, done a whole 180 and I would never have seen it come in. So don't stress too much. Like you'll absolutely be alright. Like you will 100% land on your feet again no matter what you do. But just be really brave and make changes and say, do you know what?

I fucking love myself way too much to settle for this shit like I I deserve to feel happy every day so yeah to anyone listening to this sorry I'm literally all over the place in my volume today to anyone listening to this that is in a job that makes you feel way down and shit it is not worth it like what is that saying about like you could die tomorrow and your workplace would literally replace you in a matter of days and you're literally ruining your own life for it it's not worth it it's literally not worth it you're worth so much more god can you hear me getting a sore throat to be fair it is literally 20 to midnight this has to be up in 20 minutes.

I better actually cut it short now. I am shattered, you know, babes. So, hey everyone, if you're listening at midnight, I'm only 20 minutes behind you. Isn't that weird? Hello. Oh my God, did you guys see on Love Island when Tasha was like, so if the world ended, would Australia know about it first

I was like no there's no way those words just came out of her mouth she literally thinks they're in another fucking dimension she thinks Australia live in the future I was like oh my god and it reminded me of when um I can't remember the girl but she was with Eyal and she was like so if i go to if i go to spain am i still in the united kingdom and then everyone was like no you're in europe if you go to spain and she's like right so i'm from liverpool so i'm from a country and then everyone was like no honestly and then when lucinda was like isn't it crazy that we're in another country it's everyone else some of the conversations that come out of love islanders mouths they fascinate me like jemma tonight was like does anyone know how to use an iron i was like yes everyone everyone in

that villa because everyone is an adult she's probably never had to iron in her life isn't that so mad my mum had me ironing my school uniform when i was like fucking four okay not four four year old and big fucking iron do you know my mum used to iron my hair before straighteners were like a thing or at least maybe we just couldn't afford them but she used to iron my hair before school because i was one of those little girls i had the messiest hair like i just constantly had bed hair to like every second of every day like my mum just could not get my hair to look nice for the life of me so she used to have to straighten it with the iron i'd lay my hair out on the ironing board and she'd straighten it she'd iron my hair the fucking heat damage she must have been doing to me as a teenager

why can't she just tie it up but literally what mum why did you actually do that to me like now i think about why did you actually do that to my hair i've used her blame for all the heat damage my hair's taken over the years oh so funny so funny because at the same time she was like don't you ever dye your hair your hair will fall out don't you ever bleach your hair you were literally ironing it what is it like 300 degrees on an iron okay my recording just cut off then i think that is a sign telling me to shut the fuck up so i will actually let you guys go now don't you hate when someone says that you're on the phone when you're on the phone and they're like oh anyway i'll let you go it's like you want to go then obviously what do you mean oh anyway i'll let you go. It's like, you want to go then, obviously. What do you mean, oh, anyway, I'll let you go then? I literally didn't even ask to go. You're literally telling

me you want to go? Be fucking rude. Anyway, I will actually let you guys go now. Not to be rude, but honestly, love you guys so much. I say it every week, but you guys are my besties. You're the most stable thing in my life. Honestly, love you guys so much. Send in your dirty, filthy, raunchy confessions. As you learned from last week, we have absolutely nothing off limits on Fridays. Can't wait. Can't wait to chat to you on Friday and spill all the beans of what you've all been up to. Let's do it. All right. Oh shit, what am I going to do? I can't shout. Okay, let's do it quietly this time shit what we're gonna do i can't shout okay let's do it quietly this time i was really ruining my streak though isn't it i've i've done this every week all right

i'll actually shut the fuck up okay guys thank you guys so much for listening to another episode of fear on the line and i will see you on friday for a confession stories i love you. Bye. Baby, I adore you. Baby, I adore you. Yeah, I adore you. Bye. Bye. I love you all night. Own each step with Peloton. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner.

Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.