Leah on the Line - 25: Can you reignite the spark in a relationship?

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

Hey darlings! Welcome back to another dilemmas episode. I loved the debate this week - such a tricky one for me personally! We also had some great dilemmas, from how to deal with your bestie dating a CHEATER to dealing with insecurities around body image. Thank you so much for all your love and support, you're amazing! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello oh my god my voice hi everyone i'm really fucking ill um how are you welcome back to another episode of leah on the line sorry if i don't sound or seem myself in this episode. I'm really ill. I've been vomiting for two days straight. My whole family, we've all been hit by this exact same bug. Like all of us are just bed bound. Like my mum came home from work today. Okay, basically it started. Let me just tell you the background. So my sister's little girl, Mileyiley she was sick like maybe a week ago now which is threw up out of nowhere but then she was just like absolutely fine the next day but obviously you have to have like two days off school um so then we wasn't really sure what that was all about and then like a couple days later her little brother Frankie was sick and

then he was literally fine like running around playing straight away so he was like hmm interesting maybe there's something going around who knows maybe they're just playing and then like being sick or their food isn't settled or something and then basically last night I threw up everywhere and so did my sister's other child she has three children and now all three of them were throwing up and then i was like messaging in my group chat like uh guys i've been sick like what the fuck is going on and then um my auntie messaged me she was down at the weekend she lives in london but she was down this weekend she was like yeah i was sick this morning i was like shit and then my mum walks

through the door from work early looking like she's just been caught up in a tornado and I was like oh Jesus hun not looking good and she felt really really ill so she was she's now been in bed all day and then my brother came home from work being sick everywhere and now he's in bed so we are all ill every single one of us and my sister's now texting me saying that she's really ill so yeah if anybody cares we are all a little bit down down in the dumps today sorry to any emetophobics that might have been a bit triggering for you sorry I probably should have said trigger warning um but yeah I'm really not feeling myself so please cut me some slack if I'm not on form today but I really I won't miss an episode I won't do it I'm just gonna try and if I if I throw up I will cut it out don't panic but I feel like

I'll be okay okay how are you happy Tuesday did you guys enjoy the last episode it was the he's a 10 but challenge absolutely loved it oh I've got a new review um somebody's not very happy with me they rated me three out of five which I'll take listen I'll take it but she said um she thought my latest ics episode was really unfair and really horrible like to like take the piss out of a boy being like lactose intolerant but I just want to say I'm joking like it's a joke if I was out of a guy and he was like oh I'm lactose intolerant I'll just be like okay like I'm not gonna be like ew bye can we get the check like and it just kind of made me laugh but I didn't make me laugh actually you guys know I'm I need everybody

to like me and if they don't then I just feel like I'm worthless but when I read it I was like no like I really didn't expect people to think that I was being dead serious but no apologies to that girl maybe she's actually some time no I'm kidding um but yeah thanks so much you guys have been so amazing recently I mean you always are but yeah you guys are just so supportive and so loving and you always just like send me really nice messages out the blue and I just love chatting to you I love replying to you they really lift my spirit like I feel like sometimes some of you know when I'm having a bad day like I was literally having a really shit evening the other night not really shit but I was just having a bit of a downer and I checked

my dms and some girl messaged me like one of you lot and she was like um you you're amazing and you deserve the world just that and I was like what oh my god I do not deserve you and I just replied being like oh my god I'm literally gonna cry I love you so much um but yeah so yeah shout out to you all love you so much to anyone that doesn't even message if you just listen to me you've never even sent in a dilemma you've never even you don't even follow the Instagram you don't even get involved with the poll if you're just a listener and you don't even get involved you still mean equally as much like love you we are all best friends okay god i'm not feeling good guys it's not looking good bro i can't lie okay the weekly debate this week is

can you reignite the spark in a relationship now i, I won't lie, I'm not sure about this one. So before I get into it, I'll start with my opinion, which I don't normally do. I normally start with yours, but fuck it. Right now, I don't know, to be honest. I feel like I've never successfully done it. So that's where my opinion starts. It's like, I've been in relationships where I'm like, the spark's gone. And we haven't managed to reignite it. But then when we had Maddie on the podcast, Maddie Grace Jepsen, shout out to her, queen of my life. She said that, you know, she's been with her boyfriend a few years now. And she's like, you have to work out a relationship. These are her words. You have to do what you can to work out a relationship these are her words you have to do

what you can to keep that spark alive so I think keeping it alive is one thing but then I'm not sure if I believe that once it's out you can reignite it so like I said I've never done this successfully I've been in relationships where I'm like we don't do anything anymore we don't enjoy each other's company like we used to we don't laugh the way we used to you know like I remember my last relationship when we first got together we'd like always go out and get bottles of wine and it was just me and him and like we'd have the best time and we was the best company with each other and then by the end of it it was like do you reckon maybe you could come starbucks with me and it was like can't and then by the end of it you're like ah sparks gone hun sparks gone so and i i just don't know if if it can be reignited reignited is that a word but let's see what you guys are saying um

somebody says i actually think only if there's a break involved because then the initial excitement returns okay that makes a lot of sense to be fair but that is another question i would love to ask do you guys think a break can be beneficial because i mean look at ross and rachel he shagged someone else we were on a break do you know what i mean um somebody says i definitely did i think time apart makes a big difference okay so we're talking spark's gone out let's come away from each other and it's gonna work again and we're gonna go for those bottles of wine again and really enjoy this company again so i need to hear some success stories on this one um somebody says depends why the spark went in the first place i'd say for sure like if it was a case of like oh we're

both just like really busy or I don't know I work nights and he works days and you know we don't get to spend time together but or if it was like he's cheated on me or I cheated on him and we decided to stay together and build on the relationship it's really hard to get that spark back if there's been like a huge um level of pain involved which yeah great point from you honey um if if life's been hectic for both parties and you just need to make more effort again yeah yeah but you know what i have an issue with i think this is why when in my experience when the spark's gone out it's it's never really been successful in reigniting it I hate the thought of somebody trying to make an effort to want to be around me like I know this sounds stupid and I know relationships do take

work etc but I hate the thought of being in a relationship where he has to force himself like oh yeah I should really make some time for Leah this week you know I think it's sweet but at the same time I want you to spend time with me because you want to spend time with me not because you you feel like you should so I have a real issue with that personally um somebody says I think it depends how long the spark has been lost most relationships go for a dip oh yeah I actually really agree with this so I've been in relationships where the spark's gone out temporarily and it just comes back on its own naturally nothing Nothing really needed to be changed. It was just like, I don't know, one of us was a little bit depressed for a while or like, I don't know, working extra hours or just

like we were just bickering a lot. Life was getting too much. And then it's like, well, you're good again. I think that's totally cool. Yeah. Like that's normal. But like you said, if it's been gone for like, sometimes you can be in a relationship where you're like, we've not had a real spark for like a year. And personally, in my opinion and experiences, like there's no getting that back after a long period. Yeah, that is a really good point. Sometimes you grow apart though. So no matter how much you try, it won't happen. Yeah, this is the thing. This is the thing as well. It's like sometimes you grow apart though so no matter how much you try it won't happen yeah this is the thing this is the thing as well it's like sometimes you can really hold on to a relationship you can do everything you can work less hours you can spend more time together you can go on more dates you can get into a new tv series and try to have more sex and stuff but

then sometimes no matter what you do it doesn't feel the same it doesn't feel right do you know what i mean and that is the most devastating feeling because it's like this is out of my control i want to change this and i can't i actually totally totally get that um what else are you guys saying very wise today peoples um oh okay this girl says yes but it will die away eventually you can't keep igniting it forever yeah i feel you i do um yes if you really want to but if you've convinced yourself it's done then it's done see this is the thing like sometimes you'll be in a relationship where one of you's like the spark's gone we need to do this we need to do that we need to make more effort and the other person's like the spark's gone babe and that there's no salvaging that surely um somebody says i really hope so i'm

dating a guy and already feel like the spark's gone i want to hear your advice if you're just dating like you're not even in a relationship because obviously some people say i'm dating a guy and it means you're in a relationship some people say dating and it literally means that you're seeing each other but if you're actually just seeing this guy and the spark's gone, girl, you deserve the spark to be there all the way fucking through, especially in the dating phase. Like for me personally, if the spark's gone in the dating phase, I'm not pursuing it. What about you lot? Is that me just being really pathetic? Um, somebody says it depends why or how the spark was lost in the first place if you're willing to work for it then yes i would say so as long as effort is involved from

both sides yep great point um somebody says no i tried so hard but i had to break up in the end yeah i've been there girl um i think yes if the spark has gone because you're not making enough time for each other but again back to my point i have this real struggle with like why do you not want to hang around me like why why do you not want to be around me i used to i used to hate that thought um yes sometimes there's a reason it's lost easy not happy in your job etc asked to be dated again this is a great point go on dates she says have fun change jobs sparks can definitely be reignited okay I actually really like your outlook on this because I do agree that sometimes it is completely separate from the relationship why the spark can be gone sometimes it can just be completely outside noise um and yeah if if that is the case I do have hope I think maybe

switch up shit that you're doing in your personal life and see if that helps the relationship because I can imagine it would um let's have a look if it's after childbirth then I believe it can be. Advice on how to do this with sex would be great. Okay, so the sparks gone sexually for you, hey? I mean, again, I feel like this is very similar because it could be a case of like, you know, mental health or exhaustion, tired, stressed, feeling insecure, like not feeling confident in your body sometimes it's nothing to do with the relationship and the partner so it really does depend um yeah that's a difficult one i'd love to know what you guys think about that that part um somebody says yes i'm going through it now and it feels so much better already okay good

it now and it feels so much better already okay good um change bits of the relationship date again sexy outfits etc somebody says absolutely no need oh sorry absolutely need to have commitment from both sides though yeah for sure because this is my thing right i don't believe and i've said this loads of times you know when you first meet someone and you get butterflies and you fancy the fuck out of them and you're obsessed with them and they make you giggle and they make you all giddy right that shit does not last it doesn't like it fully doesn't what lasts is your friendship the way you can rely on each other the way you can talk to each other the way that you can communicate the way that they take stress off your shoulders the way that you show each other love like that is the shit that makes a relationship last so you know in our dilemmas when they come up sometimes when she's like oh

i've been with my boyfriend five years and i met a guy at work and i can't stop thinking about him i always have to say this i have to say like just remember that the way you feel now you felt with your boyfriend when you met him and that will go now if you leave your boyfriend and you go with this new guy it'll go with him as well so I think I agree in terms of like the spark can just go sometimes but as long as you still have all of these important foundations to a long-lasting healthy relationship then it can be worked on because it depends on what you class as the spark is it the sexual chemistry is it the one-on-one quality time you're spending together is it the the laughing together like what is it for you that means the spark's gone we don't laugh together we don't go on dates anymore we don't watch tv

together anymore or we just sit on our phones and we're together if you still feel like that is your best friend that is your soulmate you go to him for everything, he's your ride or die, you open up to him, he opens up to you, like, these are what, that is what is the foundations for a long, last and healthy relationship, in my opinion. Let's do a couple more, somebody, a lot of you say that it will go again, like, a lot of you say that you can fix it temporarily and it will just go again, let's read a couple more somebody says you shouldn't have to but this is the thing I I do believe you shouldn't have to be like oh shit I should really want to spend more time with I don't know Jack do you know what I mean I really don't really enjoy Ben's company at the moment maybe I should force force myself. Like, I don't think that,

I don't think you should have to do that. But if you're like, hold on a minute, it's been like two months since we've actually spent some proper quality time together, especially when you live together. Because I think, I always say this, there is a huge difference

between spending time with somebody and just being around somebody. And I think in my experience with guys especially, I'll be the one that's like we don't spend time together and they're like we live together because I've lived with both my boyfriends and that's they think that because you live together you're spending time together but that's not the case so I think it's really important that you don't neglect each other even when you live together um because it can be so easy to. You're like, I see you every fucking day.

What more do you want, love? But at the same time, it's like, I don't just want to see you. Like, I don't just want to walk through the door and ask you how your day's gone and cook dinner and then go to bed and have sex. Like, I want to spend time with you. Let's play a game.

Do you know what I mean? Let's play fucking Scrabble. Like, let's spend quality one-on-one time together off of our phones, me and you. Look into my eyes and pay attention to each other, learn about each other, talk to each other. I think that is really important. And we'll finish off with this one. I'll come back to you on this one because I'm currently in the process of trying.

Okay, well, you do the social experiment for all of us. you do the social experiment for all of us and we will we will um rely on you for for the outcome of this of this debate thank you darling love you loads all right let's get into some dilemmas so i'm going to kick off with this one um oh actually i'm going to save that one to the end because i've just popped a story up so basically let me just fill you in what's going to happen i popped oh no sorry i received an email from a lovely listener called Rachel shout out to you babe who said she loves the thought of you lot being able to give your advice to dilemmas as well so I thought for one dilemma every Tuesday I'll pop up a story on my Instagram of any random dilemma and you guys can give advice as well and we can all sort of

chirp in because sometimes I say it all the time and Rachel said this sometimes I'm like I really don't know what to fucking say I really don't know what advice to give and this is when I need you lot and I on the podcast I always go oh yeah what do you guys think but I didn't I don't know how I didn't even think of this idea so shout out to you Rachel you're very smart and I love you so much um so I'm going to save that to the end because I literally just popped the story up as I started recording so I want to make sure enough of you get to get involved as you can so we'll come back to that one so let's start with this one hi Leah I need your advice with this dilemma this guy I met online was pursuing me for 18 months Jesus before I finally agreed to date him at the beginning of this year he knew that I didn't want anything serious but was adamant that I was going to be his girlfriend

someday oh classic I've done that with guys though like when I'm talking to a guy then I don't want a girlfriend I'm like this sounds like heartbreak hotel but I'm checking in do you know what I mean because you just think you can change it don't you anyway yeah he was adamant he was very keen on me and was always and always wanted to spend time with me it was going really well and i started to get oh i finally started to get attached to him his parents live in a different country but you saw them a few weeks ago for the first time since before the pandemic and was telling them all about me telling the parents hey so it's clear he still liked me and wanted to continue dating me for sure last week we finally

slept together for the first time i don't normally sleep with people that i'm not in a relationship with so it was kind of a big deal to me okay queen but since then he has started to ghost me wanker wanker wanker he can wait four to five hours before replying to my messages which is really unlike him no when they suddenly switch up their behavior like that get fucked i'm sorry we haven't made any plan to see each other again and when i ask him he says he's busy oh fuck off what do you fucking mean you're busy you haven't been busy for the last 18 months darling um am i just being paranoid or has he finally lost interest in me maybe he just enjoyed the chase now that that we finally slept together, it's not exciting for him anymore. Any advice would

be greatly appreciated. Love you. Bye. Oh my God. Okay. First of all, you're worth so much more than the way this boy's treat you. Let's just get this one thing straight. Um, yeah, I do. I like your point about maybe he, um, I don't like it, but you know, it's a great point that maybe it's the chase, you know, it's the chase you know it's the classic boys want what they can't have and then they fucking get it and they're like oh boring yeah grow up pathetic where are you gonna get in life behaving like that okay you idiot anyway sorry but i also think right if you guys don't listen to the girls bathroom you definitely should because if you like leo in the line you like the girls bathroom and call her daddy

and the receipts but anyway i was listening to the girl's bathroom a few weeks ago and they were talking about this this theory i can't remember what it's called but it was basically about the guy when you go on a date with a guy he already knows he's already decided what he wants from you before he goes on this date or before he's whatever i'm just gonna keep talking because i don't know what i'm fucking going on about basically the theory is jesus i'm gonna have a stroke what is going on with me oh god i'm really not well guys well i'm acting like this doesn't happen every week it literally happens every week so the theory is when you go on a date

with a guy and you say to yourself i'm not gonna have sex with him i'm literally gonna have sex with him right it doesn't matter because this is a theory by the way it doesn't matter because let's just say i i was gonna go on a date with i don't know bradley and then i said to myself i'm not gonna sleep with him i'm literally gonna see him but in bradley's head he was like i want to have sex with this girl so bad and that is all i want right we go on a first like, I want to have sex with this girl so bad. And that is all I want. Right. We go on a first date and I don't have sex with him. He's then not going to give up.

He's going to go on a second date with me and I'm still not going to sleep with him. And then he's going to go on a third date with me because I'm a catch and I'm good fucking company. Right. And then I might sleep with him. And then that's it. That's it for Leah and Bradley. Do I know a Bradley? I really don't. I'm talking about this and i'm getting a bit weird thinking do i know bradley no i don't so yeah that is essentially the theory or bradley may before the first date go that is wifey for me

like i want to be her husband like she is everything i ever wanted in a girlfriend that is my soulmate that is my twin flame ow I shit myself in the head that is my partner right and I could go on this first date and sleep with him straight away that is not going to change Bradley wanting to wife me up right Bradley still wants to wife me he's just got a touch of the purse now wants to wife me even fucking more all right yeah no but what i'm saying is this could be a classic case of we don't know we don't have a fake name for your guy but let's call him bradley bradley has pursued you for 18 months you've been like no bradley i'm literally not into it then you're like fine i'll fucking give it a go and he's he's buzzing because

he's finally got what he's been chasing he's buzzing he's fine you're finally showing him that reciprocated attention right and then you have sex with him and he's got it that's what he's wanted this whole time could be a case of that or it could be a case of something completely separate to you is going going on with him could be he could be really stressed could be struggling with mental health could be having some family issues let's not always associate um a boy's behavior to how they feel towards you because sometimes they are not related um but all i'm saying is it's not good enough like the four or five hour reply shit um i my personal feeling is like i used to do this thing

where you'd go right bradley well you're obviously not into me i'm not gonna fucking do this shit anymore you're taking four or five hours to reply you've had sex with me and now this your behavior is all switched up yeah go fuck yourself i used to do that and now i just remove remove myself just no thank you just completely shut down from the situation and remove myself from it. I'm not even going to give you the time of day to explain to you that you've, that I'm bothered because they love it. And also they don't feel bad. They don't care. They're not like, oh shit, I'm such a dick. Like they're just like, oh my God, this fucking girl's so into me. Shut up. like you were

obsessing me for 18 months bradley like you're lucky you got the fucking puss all right so i feel like you should hmm i don't know because it's a tricky one because it's like we're not actually guaranteed here that he he is being a dick but i'm actually you know taking four or five hours to reply after sleeping with me is being a dick have some respect okay have some consideration to the fact that i've just you know allowed your penis into my vagina and now all of a sudden your behavior switched up you're not stupid you're not an idiot you know that's a bit strange and you know let's not let's not beat around the bush here pardon the pun if you don't if you do have a bush that is each to their own um but yeah i feel like either send him a message if if you do actually

still want to pursue this depends on how into it you are because you did say you didn't want to relationship at the beginning and if that's the case just fuck it off and that's what i say but if you actually are into him then I think maybe just mention why why is your behavior switched up like just be honest with me like you know be a man and talk to me about it shall we shall we let's all be adults here um but yeah you deserve better than that so you know he he's been pursuing you for 18 months this is very embarrassing are you not embarrassed like you're literally sucking me off now. This is embarrassing. You're amazing and you deserve a king, baby girl. Love you. Okay, next dilemma. Hey babe, I've recently discovered your podcast and loving the episodes.

Oh my God, welcome. Love you so much. I wondered if you could help me with a dilemma that I have, please. Of course, I'm going to give it my best shot. It's a bit of a strange one. I started dating a guy a few months ago and it's been going really well. Things have moved into the bedroom where he revealed to me that he has a fetish. Oh, I love a weird fetish, guys. Let's get into that. I don't really have a problem with kinks or fetishes in general. However, this one I need some advice on. His fetish is belly buttons. But I have always had this weird thing about touching belly buttons. Me too. If somebody touches my belly button, my automatic reflex is just to gag. Like it's not for me. Anyway, he particularly likes deep innie belly buttons and wants to finger and lick them during foreplay slash sex.

What's that? He's fucking you and he's got his finger in your in your belly button i have a really deep belly button so i've met his criteria belly button dirty talk is also a thing what what do you mean he talks dirty to your belly button or dirty talks about your belly button he's like yeah let me lick that fucking belly button no really um the main problem i have is i feel weird about belly button touching i don't mind him looking slash pictures and i'm happy with the talk but i'm not sure how i should deal with this i want this to work out but there's just something ingrained in me with the feeling of belly button touching oh my god do you think i should try to get over my phobia type tendency or is it too far I would also love to know if you've ever heard of this fetish I did

not know belly button infatuation was a thing and everything that comes with it and am I the only one who feels weird when their belly button is touched I suspect it's doubtful but if you have any similar experience then it would be much appreciated otherwise any advice would be amazing let me know if you if you need to know any more I'm happy to help I'm sorry for the amount of times I said belly button lots of love oh my god okay so first of all I have heard of this not like I haven't heard the details that you're giving like the the fetish in terms of like the touching and the talking and wanting to lick it and finger it but my best friend had was seeing this guy and he had a thing with belly belly buttons like he would say it to me he'd be like I just fucking love belly buttons

I would like finger your belly button just like as a joke but then she told me that he actually genuinely does find them like horny and I was like oh but I didn't I didn't ask much more than that but now that you've said this I feel like I want to message her and be like how deep was this belly button thing that thing he had because I've I've met his match could be him to be fair imagine that that would be crazy um him to be fair imagine that that would be crazy um so first of all you said um should you try to get over your phobia listen you should never ever ever do anything that you're not comfortable doing especially in the bedroom okay just in general as a rule, don't do anything you're uncomfortable doing for a partner or for anyone. But definitely don't do anything that you're uncomfortable doing in the bedroom. If it's not for you, it's not for you. And if he's like, well, if you don't let me fucking

lick out your belly button, then it's over. Then it's over. Do you know what I mean? Like, you're not going to pressure me into doing something because it could have been any other phobia and I wouldn't do it just because it's my fucking belly button and it's on the middle of my bloody stomach. Doesn't mean I'm comfortable with it. Like if a guy was like, oh, my fetish is like, I have to, I have to have three fingers up the bum hole at all times. And you're like, I don't want to put three things three fingers up your bum hole you know that would be a normal response so don't feel like you have to do this just because you want to please him don't do anything just to please somebody um but if you feel like you can get on board with it and you're willing to get on board with it great you he may have met his dream woman um but yeah like you said it feels weird when he

touches it i think if you're willing to like don't do it because you feel pressured do it because you don't think it's it's a big deal okay don't do it out of pressure don't do it out of wanting to keep him happy don't do it out of fear of losing him like trust me you weird right we would rather lose somebody that makes us do things we don't want to do in the bedroom than do things we don't want to do in the bedroom okay that is just a general life rule um so i mean i'm with you on the hate of being touched i don't want my belly being belly button being touched if i was with a guy let me picture i was with a guy and i'm having sex and he's like can i finger your belly

burn i'm saying what the fuck did you just say and if he's like i said can i think your belly burn i'm saying no no absolutely positively not no i haven't cleaned that i've i forget about it in most showers all right and there that's the truth sometimes i have belly button fluff and i don't want that anywhere near you or your tongue or your willy does he want to put his willy in it god i'm getting so intrigued by this but yeah honestly don't do anything you're not comfortable doing and yeah love you thank you for sharing that very interesting I kind of want to hear more okay next dilemma help I hate my friend's cheating boyfriend I'm not surprised by the title okay let's get into it hello angel sorry this is a long one don't never apologize we love the long dilemmas so my friend has been with her boyfriend for three years oh you've given me a name and I

don't know if it's her real name so i'm going to change it in case let's call her let's call her jemma just because i just watched love island okay my friend jemma has been with her boyfriend for three years we're 23 24 by the way she's just recently moved to england for him myself and jemma are from scotland i've always liked him he seemed sweet and always treated her well until recently one of our mutual friends was on Tinder and saw him. She screenshotted it and it sent it to me so I could tell Gemma. Let's call her boyfriend Luca. So Luca works away offshore. And when I told her she just dropped him off at the airport, she immediately called him and he said it wasn't him. Someone's made a fake account oh shit sorry for some reason

i just didn't process that so we found luca on tinder somebody's found luca on tinder shit shit okay why didn't i not process that okay shit luca's on tinder i'm almost certain this is not the case as no offense but no one would want to use his pictures. Oh, burn. Also, the bio on Tinder had said, I'm going to be in Glasgow on Tuesday night. Hit me up. And Gemma admits to me that the only people who knew he was going to be there was her and his family. I can't see his dad setting up a fake profile of him. Ew, why is that so great?

Also, my friend saw his profile when she was hours away from his location. So she can see him. So he kept denying it. It was him. Wait. Hold on a minute. Oh, sorry. Also, my friend's seen his profile when she was hours away from his location. So he paid for Tinder premium.

So other people in different locations can see him. Ew. So he kept denying it was him and she believes him. I have such bitter feelings towards them and their relationship now. Like I can't feel happy for her. This happened one or two months ago and now they have bought a dog and I can't help but not be happy for them and whatever milestones they achieve. How do I stop these feelings? Do I just need to accept them being together now? Oh my God, that's so shit. So I think it was in the first couple of weeks of the podcast. One of the first weekly debates was, do you stand by your friend who goes back to her toxic boyfriends? And a lot of you said no. And my advice was as a friend friend if they're in a toxic situation whether it be emotional abuse

cheating whatever you have to be there to pick up the pieces no matter what so as we all know we've all been there when you're with somebody or seeing somebody and people are telling you red flag run for your life not a nice guy he's cheated on this girl in his past and he did this in his past and he's going to hurt you. You just go, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Can't hear you. Can't hear you. Literally not listen to you. And the thing is, they don't listen.

And we don't. We're not going to listen to you. So the thing is, you could sit her down like the friend you are and go babe your boyfriend's a lying cheating scumbag who's on tinder you deserve better let's walk away and she's gonna go no he told me it was a fake profile like it wasn't him and deep deep down she knows it was him but she does not want to believe it and she won't believe it until it's too late so i think you can have these conversations with her and be like look babe you deserve better if you truly deep down believe that he was on that tinder profile you don't deserve that like you deserve this amazing

relationship and you can get that you can get that away from luca like do not settle for luca ever you're you're jemma you do not need luca but if she's not willing to hear you out then all you can do is be like look I understand I will be here for you I'm your best friend no matter what you decide to do I'll stand by you if all shit hits the fan I will be there to pick up the pieces to drag you through to the other side or if it goes really really, then I'll also be here to celebrate for you. So, yeah, it's really difficult being in your situation, like watching somebody you really love and care about choose something that you know is not good for them. But at the same time, like I said, she ain't gonna listen. She's gonna do it anyway. And it's just really fucking unfortunate that she is in this position.

But you sound like an amazing friend because you obviously care about her. And I don't think you should feel guilty for saying like, oh, I'm struggling to be happy for them with their milestones and stuff. Like I would 100% be the same. Like you'd be like, oh, you fucking little dick. Like you cheating little bastard. Getting a fucking little, getting a little French bulldog. Things are going to make up for it, do you? No. get a little french bulldog things gonna make up for it do you no honestly just to care and like

just be that invested in your in your friend's happiness is enough like you're that much of a good friend that you're actually you care about her happiness that makes you a good friend so you know you're not doing anything wrong support her love her be there for her support her and good decisions bad decisions and you know, hopefully if the roles were ever reversed and you were with somebody that she knew wasn't any good for you, she'd still be there for you every single time. Do you know what I mean? And yeah, I love you. You're amazing. Okay, babes, I hope you're all hanging on tight this episode. I'm really, really struggling to get through it, but I am giving it my best shot because I love you all

so much all right let's move on to one last dilemma this is the one that I've popped up on my Instagram story asked you guys for your advice um let's read it out you have all of the leo and the liners at your service today babe all of the best friends here for you okay so this isn't much of a dilemma just looking for some advice. It's maybe something other people have felt, but I've recently been feeling pretty insecure and I keep getting a bit down looking back at pics, even just from last year. Just constantly thinking I was in better shape and just generally look better and comparing to myself now. It's a strange one because I'm sure last year I probably didn't even feel comfortable with how I looked and now I wish I looked how I

did then. Just something I wish I didn't worry about or let get me down if you get me let me know what you think I might just sound silly lots of love no you don't sound silly listen every single girl on this planet can relate to you so before I read out what you guys say I just want to say um I can relate I've been there like I really go through phases and it can it can change in a matter of days like it's happened to me recently a couple of weeks ago I was actually feeling 10 10 I was like do you know what I am really happy with the the shape I'm in I'm really happy with the quality of my hair at the moment my skin's really amazing and I was feeling really lucky and just really beautiful right and then about three days later I was like I'm disgusting like I'm actually

disgusting I need to get down that gym I need to start eating healthy I need to drink more water my skin's disgusting it honestly can change like that for me it's so weird um but that just shows it's in your head like I haven't changed that much in three days do you know what I mean so much of it is in your mind and the way that you're feeling in yourself it's not actually what you're seeing in the mirror um but another thing that I always remind myself is how lucky I am to actually have these problems like to to be looking in the mirror going oh like I look a little bit chubby in this dress like that's such a nice problem to have like there are people that are starving people that would do anything to go on a night out people that would do anything to just like spend the night out in

the town but they're really really ill and they can't do like there's so many things that happen and i think do you know what i am so lucky and i sound so pathetic saying that and i hate saying shit like that because everyone's like oh fuck off oh when when where well done you like you're the bigger person and I don't mean it like that I just mean it in terms of like I just really practice that like gratitude and being like my life is so like special and especially my body like when I would get really down about my body I think I'd think of it as like something separate to me right and I'd be like my poor heart in there beating away pumping around my body all this blood like oh that makes me sick but like my body is working so hard to keep me alive and I'm there slating it like when when you actually deep that, it's actually so sad. And then I also

always think about like little nine-year-old Leah and I think, oh, you beautiful girl, like you, you sweet, beautiful girl. Why am I hating you so much? Do you know what I mean? Because that's who I am inside. That's who you are inside. And that makes me feel so sad. sad but I get you like it doesn't make you feel confident it just makes you it just makes you not want to have those thoughts but it doesn't make you love yourself anymore not not properly anyway so yeah it is difficult it's really difficult self-love is so difficult to practice but you it really you have to practice it I think self-love is such a fucking skill um let's see what you guys are saying um somebody look here somebody says i'm so bad for this right now hope us girls get some help i can guarantee you so many people listen to this i think more people listen to this than not

will be able to relate to that feeling um somebody says when you get tempted to look do something to distract yourself you're a bad bitch now we grow its life yeah this is another thing I used to like just fantasize this teenage body that I used to have and I was like I'm a 25 year old woman now I don't have the same body I had when I was 16 17 and that's normal like and I think this is the issue is like we, we look back at our teenage bodies and we think, oh, to be that tiny again. But we're adults now. We're not teenagers anymore. Do you know what I mean? When you're 80, you'll wish you wore that bikini on holiday and didn't cover up all those years so I think this recently right I'm 25 okay so I haven't got many years of my super slutty mini skirts left in me realistically like I can't be strutting around in an ultra mini 90s style skirt in my 30s realistically because

I'll probably be a mum at that point hopefully if I'm lucky enough so I thought I had this realization I was like I've only got a few years left to dress like a little slut bag for the rest of my life and I never get my legs out I'm always a baggy jeans baggy trousers baggy hoodie baggy jumper trainers I dress like like a boy I literally wear boys clothes everything I wear is boys and I was like I'm gonna look back and go i have i had these beautiful legs i had this lovely little figure and i covered it up in baggy shit so now when i go on a night out i'm like i'm getting my fucking legs out and get i'm getting out these legs 11 all right so maybe think about it like that that's like appreciate it while we've bloody got it do you know what i mean um this is another

very important look remember you are more than just your looks loving yourself starts with more than just your looks finding stuff that makes you feel good inside like activities so this is 100% true when i get down about my appearance or my body or my skin i think do you know what i'm a fucking good person i've got a nice heart i treat people well i'm honest do you know what? I'm a fucking good person. I've got a nice heart. I treat people well. I'm honest. Do you know what I mean? I have good intentions. I'm kind. And I always think that about myself. I think, do you know what? Is it that deep? Like, yeah, my skin's playing up like fuck or like, yeah, I've eaten absolute junk for two weeks straight and now my belly, it's in pain and The stretch I've put on that fucking thing.

And then I think, do you know what? I'm a nice person. And I treat people well. And I have a good heart and I have good intentions. So, you know, appreciate that about yourself as well. Because that is, you know, you could be an absolute 10 on the outside. But if you're not good looking on the inside, it means nothing. Like, beauty comes from within 101 million percent. Somebody says, do something every day that makes you fall back in love with yourself.

I love that idea. So, when I fell out of love with myself, I started to journal a lot, which did help. Summer Fox actually helped me. she gave me that she gave me that tip um what else i don't know what i do that makes me love myself to be honest i can't lie i don't really have anything like that like i'm not really someone that likes to go for walks to be brutally honest it's not really my thing um get dressed up take pictures go on nights out get that attention girl okay yeah that is what helps me I can't lie I can't lie I'm a Leo what can I say I feel better about myself when I make an effort when people recognize it I mean listen I can't lie my

validation fucking comes from other people okay that's one thing I'm working on. So, yeah, I think that's great advice as well. If it works for you, which it definitely does for me, try it. Filter who you follow on Instagram. There are beautiful people on here in all shapes and sizes. So true. There is absolutely no shame in muting or in following somebody because they aren't good for your mental health. And remember, social media is fucking fake, fake all right social media is fake as shit i 100 feel this at times

um you're not alone but take this time to work on yourself yeah for sure um somebody says your body is the least interesting thing about you there's so so much more to you i love that i love that as women we're never truly happy with our bodies so just embrace life life is too short however it's easier said than done i'm guilty of this myself but no one actually cares this is so true um somebody says make yourself feel good skincare fitness whatever makes you happy somebody says do you feel it may stem from the breakup or is this separate okay i think she thinks this was my dilemma no honey i had to keep it anonymous girl um i feel the exact same interested to hear the advice

so many of you feel the same um babe fill your insular positivity accounts i promise it makes all the difference love it i try to remember we have one life and we live on a rock and like she said you can never win this is so true uh like that we live on a we literally live on a rock like like what the fuck like when you think about it it's actually so annoying that looks it's like a thing in our generation like when you think about it like i think how happy we could have been if that just wasn't a thing but then like we wouldn't have influencing we wouldn't have influencing we wouldn't have fashion we wouldn't have makeup we wouldn't have hair like as an industry not as a thing yeah that is true actually

listen i think the way we look is a beautiful thing everybody looks so different and how amazing is that you know like and our bodies forever change it's amazing our bodies are amazing this is our home like your body has been there since the beginning that is your one place that you will be forever that is your home look after it love it nurture it appreciate it be grateful for it you know like especially health wise I always think this you guys know of health anxiety and stuff but where I'm in such a like like positive thinking space now I always think to myself like my body is I don't want to say out loud because I don't want to fucking jinx it but it's so good to us do you know what I mean but it's so good to us. Do you know what I mean? Our bodies are so good to us. Like, if you

had to think about it, you don't fucking let me down, babe. Do you know what I mean? Like, 25 years, I'm so lucky. 25 years, you haven't let me down. I don't want to fucking jinx that. I keep touching wood. But honestly, that's why I think to myself when I get upset about my appearance. I think, look at me, I'm so fucking lucky to be living my life the way I do, anyway, god, that got very deep very quickly, didn't it, and I'm starting to feel very nauseous again, so I will wrap up the episode, but honestly, thank you so much for all of your advice, it was really good to get you guys involved on that one, I hope it helped, you're worth so much, and I love you, and you're amazing, and perfect,

and beautiful, and gorgeous, and stunning, and love you and you're amazing and perfect and beautiful and gorgeous and stunning and talented and funny and smart and everything everything that you look at and other girls you're that as well babe do you know what I mean girls look at you and think the same thing so this is the thing Beyonce is insecure right Ariana Grande is insecure Selena Gomez is insecure all these people that we look insecure. Selena Gomez is insecure. All these people that we look at and think they are absolutely beautiful. Hailey Bieber, Madison Baird, they are insecure. They look at other girls and think, oh my God, I wish I looked like you. That's crazy. I know. So honestly, it doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter.

But yeah, honestly, love you guys so much. Make sure you send in any dilemmas, send in your confessions ready for friday you got a couple of days to get them in so get them in girl um and yeah just love you appreciate you have the best week be be sensible well you don't have to be sensible actually if anything don't be sensible because i need the content for the confessions. And yeah, love you so much. You are the best friends ever. Thanks for always being here for me every week. You're literally my rock.

Sorry I haven't really sounded like myself this week. I've been a bit, well, a bit ill. I've been very ill. But I'm good. I promise I'm good. I'm just ill. I will be back. I'll be back on top form.

I'm loving life again in no time did anybody else catch my yawn then did I make anybody yawn sorry isn't that weird if you actually think about it why does watching somebody yawn or hearing somebody yawn or there's a picture in the tube station of a girl yawning every time I see that bitch she makes me yawn and I think she's fucking done it again isn't that so weird it makes no sense it doesn't make any sense I don't get it but yeah all right guys I can't shout because it's 20 to midnight and I'm sick so I'll do a quiet love you bye but hopefully you guys will say it with me and to pump up the volume you know all right I will speak to you on Friday for a new confessions episode you guys are amazing I love you so much thank you for everything you do you are the best friends I could ever ask for please never ever feel like I don't appreciate you because

I really hand on heart do more than anything I feel like I don't say enough I mean I try and say every week but I still feel like I can't really get it across how I actually feel um but yeah I love you guys you're the best ever and I will speak to you on Friday remember if you get drunk don't text your ex text me instead and I'll always be there I love you I love you bye Bye.