Leah on the Line - 26: Do long distance relationships work & I can't forgive my sister's cheating boyfriend!

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

Hey honeys! I absolutely loved this episode, I enjoyed recording it so much! What are your thoughts on the weekly debate this week? It was an interesting one for sure! Thank you so much for all of your love and support, I really feel like we've built the most amazing LOTL family. You are everything!! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side.

It's getting closer to midnight. I tried to get closer to you. Hello. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode. to you. gossy, I haven't got any goss, tell me, tell me the goss, no, don't, email it to me, email me the goss, how are you, guys, I'm honestly so funny, my DMs, I, did I just say I'm honestly so funny, that's not what I meant to say, I meant to say I'm honestly, like, dying of laughter, I don't know why I just said I'm really funny, guys, I'm honestly so funny, no, what I meant was, you guys are funny, my DMs are just the funniest fucking thing in the world. So one of you, one of my best friends sent me a DM and I am crying, right? This just came through

this evening. I'm still laughing about it. It came through like over an hour ago now. She sent me a picture of her boyfriend, right? I put it on my story, but I'm going to describe it to you in case you missed it. She said I can put it on my story, by the way don't worry she sends me a picture of um a man's legs crossed which is fine like I'm not against the cross legging um in some comfy shorts looks really cozy nice nice looking living room looks really cozy and cute in there but to his right is a cushion resting on that cushion is his hand in that hand is a big pint glass of milk she said it to me she said it to me and goes leah help i'm just crying at the leah help and i replied just screaming and I was like, Leah, help. And I replied just screaming. And I was like, can I please put this on my story?

And she said I can. But honestly, she made my night. Shout out to you. You made my night. Glass of lactose. He's all right, though. You don't mind. She said he's the brunt of the joke and he's all right with it.

He's seen my story. Shout out to you, honey. But honestly, I am crying at you guys sending me like your boyfriend doing like all of our ics if your boyfriend does any of the things that you guys find an ick or what i read out as ics and stuff please send me fucking photos of it because it makes me scream it makes me cry oh, I need to put myself together. Is the resting it on the cushion next to him? Everyone just picture a pint of milk resting on a cushion. Like, ugh! Honestly, it's not that funny, but it's so funny, it's making me cry, like

actual tears out of my eyes. So, how are you? I hope you're all right i hope you've had a good weekend i hope you're feeling the good new week vibes fresh week how was your monday was it good did we kick this kick the week off to a good start amazing weekly debate who's ready for it should we just dive in yeah let's do it let's do it leah okay i will doing it now so the weekly debate this week is do you think long distance relationships can work now what do you think i actually thought loads of you'd be like no no no no no no no no no no but a lot of you are all for it okay not all for it but a lot of you have some success stories a lot of you are saying like yeah it can work like and it takes this it takes that so i have a lot of you are saying like yeah it can work like and it takes this it takes that so I have a lot of responses to this one so let's read them out okay first one says I've been in one 120 miles

apart for nine years hard work though 120 miles what's 120 miles from me because I'm not very, I don't drive. So miles honestly means nothing to me. 120 miles from me. Just Google him. Um, that's not giving me anything. Honestly, guys, 120 miles. Okay. Let's just type in somewhere far. I don't know. York. York. Um, how many miles away is this? Let me put my location. Yes, yes, yes. All right. All right. Sorry. This is so boring for everyone to listen to. Um, okay. That's 288 miles. So 120 is about halfway so let's go to birmingham how far is birmingham from me i'm guessing probably about 120 miles if i'm right that's fucking crazy 160 so it's even closer okay that is actually not that far 120 miles that's like what two hour drive that's actually that's no dramas i feel like that's not the long distance i'm thinking i mean it's long distance in terms of to be fair nine years nine years babe wow i mean kudos to you girl um somebody says currently in one now and yes they just take extra communication

and lots of trust for real yeah i can i can definitely imagine if you didn't trust somebody and you was in a long distance relationship that would be fucking hell wouldn't it um it depends how long for but no but no why because oh why cause each other the pain of missing each other yeah sure um yes but that could be because I love being on my own okay this is the thing right so in my experience I have a very bad habit of getting obsessed with people and I will literally move in with them within a week and I will drop everything and give up my whole life for the relationship right so I feel like a reasonable amount of distance would be healthy for some people, especially me, who I'm trying to force myself to still exist away from a fucking relationship because I'm,

I've spoken about this so many times and I'm probably so boring, but I'm a classic example of somebody that when they get into a relationship, it just becomes everything to me. So I feel like if I was in a long distance relationship, that would actually give me the opportunity and force me to make sure that I still exist away from that person. Do you know what I mean? So I feel like it can be good, but temporarily, like I'm not trying to, you know, like settle down long distance. No, like I want us to have a house and babies and get married. I mean, that is is that's my life plan. So it's not going to work if you're 120 miles away. I mean, yes, absolutely. If both sides are committed equal amounts. OK, I got this DM, right? Listen to this. I actually know this girl. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous girl. Listen to this. I didn't I did not know this about her either.

Right. So interesting. Actually, crazy interesting actually crazy she said yes we made it work for five years across different countries and still going strong since moving back to the same town although i did worry that maybe we only worked as a couple because of all the space and distance but happy to confirm we're more happy being under the same roof can't say it's fun or easy and i was always being told by my friends for text on my boyfriend too much but you gotta do what you gotta do i think if you both genuinely want it to work then it just will i think that's fucking amazing she said different countries you know she said different countries they lived in different countries for five years and now they live in the same town they've gone from different countries to the same town but i can totally get that anxiety that she

mentioned about like maybe we only work because we aren't actually fucking around each other like maybe we won't work but I'm absolutely over the moon for you that you have worked I think that is so sweet that's such an amazing success story if that doesn't give you guys hope to everybody in a long-distance relationship if that doesn't give you hope I don't know what will so let's take her success story and um everybody hold on to that hope okay um I think so as long as you're both serious about it and respectful um yes me and my boyfriend have done it I'm from Leeds he's from Cambridge together three years now love it 100% I met my partner he went traveling with his friends for a year whilst I stayed home oh she didn't see him for a Wow. I don't know if I could do that. I'd rather break up. I'd honestly,

if I was in a relationship and he's like, I'm going away for a year, I'd be like, okay, you just hit me up when you get back personally. I'd love to know your thoughts on that. Maybe we should make that a weekly debate. Would you stay with your partner if they would go and traveling for a year? Interesting. Is that a good debate or what um only if there's an end point if there's no plan on long distance ending it won't work yeah I feel like if I had to be in that situation I need to know that it's temporary like I'm not the kind of person that can just accept that this is it like I need to know but because it would be so difficult would be it would be full of pain at times it'll be full of upset heartache missing that person needing them at times and

them not being there vice versa so I feel like the only way that I'd get through those dark moments is to know that they're temporary and there's like the end of the tunnel if it was like I don't know how we're ever going to make this work I'm never leaving my hometown you're never leaving your hometown i personally don't think i have it in me to get through that so i'm with you on that one yes now eight years deep with our own house amazing um yes if there's communication slash effort and an end goal yeah i agree i agree um we now live together after doing alternate alternate i always read that as alternate but it's alternate isn't it as alternate weekends for a year yes 100 if you both make the effort and really want it to work um okay no my five-year relationship ended when distance was

introduced physically seeing someone is key i feel like if it starts with with long distance it's sustainable whereas if it starts it's just my opinion by the way if it starts where you live up the road from each other or live together and then they move or you move and then it becomes long distance that's when I feel like I don't know if I believe that it would work if it begins that way and that is how the relationship grows and blossoms I think it's more sustainable I swear there's like a really soppy old tumblr quote about like if you fall in love with somebody it's like falling in love with somebody before you meet them like obviously you'd meet them but like it's it's a long distance quote and it says basically that like

if you fall in love with them before you get to be around them all the time then that's more of a sustainable love because you fell in love with their soul their person you know what i mean which i can i can understand um let's see yes i believe long distance can work if there is a true connection nothing will stop you okay i do agree and this is what remember the girl with the five-year success story this is the point she made it's like if it's meant to be it will be and i genuinely believe that you guys know i'm a sucker for whatever's meant to be will be leave it in the hands of whatever whatever and i do believe i i get comfort in the thought of like, if it's meant to be, it will be, it will work. If it's

not meant to be, it will break us and we will go separate ways. And that is for the best. I think I genuinely do believe that. So I think it can work after reading your guys response. It clearly can. And some people it's actually better for you for a certain period of your life or a certain transition in your life or whatever it's actually proved to be like a better option for some people which i think is amazing and also another amazing point is according to my demographics we're all around a similar age like a majority of my audience are of a similar age right so if we are we are at a very important time in our life where we need self um understanding and to go on journeys of self-love self-growth um and to spend as much time with ourselves as we can because think about it right if you're

the kind of person where you want to get married, and if you want to have children one day, you're going to end up living with somebody, potentially. You're going to end up having children, which potentially, obviously, this is just if that was a goal of yours, potentially, which means your life becomes about them. So this is the time of your life that it is about you and you will never get this time back you'll never be alone like you are now ever again and i think it's a beautiful thing it's not a sad thing it's not oh my god i'm fucking alone i just want to be with somebody you've got your whole fucking life to do that this is the only time in our lives where we have to really figure out who we are what we want what we don't want so I think long distance actually has so many

positives to it because you will look back like think about this girl who was with somebody for five years long distance she got five years of a beautiful relationship but also she had five years of really being able to give herself time because she didn't she didn't get to see her boyfriend that much do you know what I mean so I think it's actually it can be a blessing it can be a blessing as well even though it's it comes with a lot of pain um um bad experience lots of lies but i think they can work wouldn't recommend though yeah i can imagine there's some horror stories with long distance i really can um depends on the person couldn't work for me I'm too needy yeah this is the thing I don't I'm very needy like I my love language is

physical touch this is the thing if your love language is physical touch surely a long distance relationship is not gonna work my two love languages they're equal actually it's quality it's quality time and then physical touch is three percent behind so they're basically equal so my two love languages are quality time and physical touch how am i gonna have somebody 100 150 000 miles okay not 150 000 150 miles away we're being really dramatic where are they australia how many miles away is australia hey google oh Oh wait, I'm meant to say hey Siri. Hey Siri. Sorry if I just set up any of your Googles. How far is Australia from the UK in miles? Let's see what this bitch has to say. Oh, she's ignoring me again. She always fucking mugs me off on

this podcast. Hey Siri. Don't embarrass me in front of all my friends. How far is Australia from the UK in miles? I'm not sure exactly how far it is from London to Canberra, Australia by car, but it's about 10,547 miles as the crow flies. As the crow flies? What are you talking about? What are you talking about, the crow? Anyway, 10,000 miles. 10,000. That wasn't very good. Anyway good anyway fucking hell what was i even talking about i actually can't remember what i was talking about i can't

remember what the point in that point was the point in that point um oh yeah my love language my love language being physical touch and quality time how am i going to do that if you're hundreds of miles away do you know what i mean so if your love language was like words of affirmation perfect do you mean i can just call you every day text you every day and i'm happy but that is not my love language my love language is touch me yeah um somebody just says i could never um i had one first year of uni and he'd always come to visit me if you want to make it work you can love it um I believe they can but communication and trust is key yeah a lot of you are on the same page with that one um I want to hear some some horror stories I can't die like I kind of

want to hear some where it hasn't worked out um somebody just says nope i like it um a lot of you are saying the trust and communication thing which i totally get i totally get it yeah to be honest you're pretty much all saying yeah okay somebody says no because it's just you meet up it's a shag and a text every day what do you mean i'm not sure what you mean there um somebody says no cheaters oh this is the thing like it would be so much easier to cheat wouldn't it in a long distance relationship like it would be so much harder to catch a cheater in a long distance situation than it would be if they were in your hometown where you had mutual friends or like worked in the same place or do you know what i mean that is what would cause me a lot of anxiety like imagine that imagine like you fully you fully um you haven't you the only

the only thing you have to rely on is his word or her word. And I don't know, I don't, ow, why is my phone electric shocking me? And I don't know if a word is enough for me. Trust is used, toxic. No, I'm joking. Okay. Interesting debate, guys. Let me know any long distance stories or dilemmas. send me some long distance dilemmas let's do that next time okay guys thanks so much for getting involved love your thoughts this week i love the positive energy this week on the on the weekly debate let's get into some dilemmas okay kicking it off with this one hey leah i broke up with my boyfriend as i felt it i jesus as i felt he cared less and less throughout the relationship

there was things he did that upset me he never cheated though as far as i'm aware now it's over he's not messaging me and i have a feeling he's already over it and messaging another girl as a snapchat points are going up fucking loads and yes i know i shouldn't be looking i know girl but we all do it do you know what i I mean? Also, last time we broke up, the next day he was on Tinder claiming he only wanted to speak to someone as he was lonely and needed a friend. So he's definitely talking to another girl already. Whereas the thought of me talking to a guy, it makes me violently sick. Anyways, I can't help but think I should have put more effort into the relationship and cherished it more when I had it. I truly

believed he was the one and was willing to do anything to make it work, yet it was not reciprocated and he just gave up saying I deserved better, etc. Wow, I can't wait to get into this. You guys already know what I'm going to say. I guess what I'm asking is how do I deal with the thoughts of wishing I did more? Wow, girl. Do I try again with him? No girl do I try again with him and no do I try again with him and message him and actually try so much more no no no or just go full-on no contact I hate blaming myself thinking I'm the cause of everything that's happened as after all I'm the one who ended it not him at the time it seemed like it was a good option as I was upset a lot of the time and oh my god the arguments but now it's genuinely over i feel i'm like shit what are your

thoughts i look forward to your podcast every week and have been here from the start you're killing it girl oh my god love you so much okay wow i feel like a lot of you already know what i'm gonna say and you lot are probably all thinking the same thing absolutely positively no are we gonna go back to that boy but let me tackle this a little sentence at a time so first first thing to tackle is the snapchat thing of course the snaps going up listen boys and girls or just two different types of people they deal with the breakups differently okay one side of the relationship okay this is this is just typical by the way this is theory it's just it's just typical scenario okay it's not it's not exact every time so nobody come for me but typically what I've seen in my experience is one

person hits rock bottom oh my god I can't believe it's over this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me I can't believe this has happened this is real I can't believe it. The other person is like, relief. They feel that, okay, it's over. The decision has been made. I'm no longer in that relationship. I no longer have the stress, the questions. I no longer have to ask myself, do I want to be in this relationship? I no longer have to try and be a better person to keep this person happy. I can just be myself now. I can just breathe. Yeah. And then they're going to go out. But what they're doing is they're filling the void that you left, right? Because they sometimes think the grass is greener. Yeah, but it's not. Okay. It's not greener. But listen, what we need to understand, okay,

this is bringing me on to the next point about the Tinder thing. Yeah, of course, because he cannot not have attention from other women clearly and that's quite sad isn't it you don't need attention from other people that's why you're just going through your grieving process as you should honey allow yourself to go through that and feel it because you're gonna thank yourself for it and you're gonna you're gonna be you're gonna be a better person for it and he is just going to keep ignoring the feelings keep filling the void keep just trying to talk to attractive women whatever yeah so next bit um you said you said the thought of um talking to a guy makes you violently sick

and you that is that is okay and that is a good thing as well at the same time because you're not you're not acting out of filling the void you're not acting out of heartbreak you're not acting out of um insecurity out of rejection what is the best thing to do is process your feelings accept the relationship for what it was not for what it could have been because it was not that for what it was, not for what it could have been, because it was not that, for what it was, and that that was not what you wanted, and that's why you walked away from it, and the thought of being with another guy makes you sick, that's okay, you don't have to be with another guy yet, but it's not going to make you sick soon, trust me, trust me girl, trust me, you're going to want that dick, okay, you said, what I'm asking, I don't know, sorry. You said, I can't help but think I should

have put more effort into the relationship and cherished it more when I had it. Okay. But if we scroll to the top of this message, you also said he did things that upset you and he made you feel like he cared less and less and he never cheated as far as you're aware, right? like he cared less and less and he never cheated as far as you're aware right I'm not being funny why would you feel like there's things you could have done more he wasn't good enough he was not treating you right he was not making you happy he was not making you feel loved and that's why he walked away from that relationship because it wasn't serving you anymore do you know what I'm saying right so you sit in there and saying, oh, you know, I wish I did more. I wish I did more. I wish I just tried a bit harder. No, it's not you. You

don't need to try to get somebody to treat you right. You shouldn't have to try harder. You know, maybe if I was a better girlfriend, he would just be a bit nicer to me. Absolutely fucking not, you know, maybe if I was a better girlfriend, he would just be a bit nicer to me. Absolutely fucking not, honey. All right. What we're not going to do is blame, blame ourselves for the fact that somebody didn't love you enough. That's not what we're going to do. Okay. Um, you said, I truly believed he was the one, but he, he, he isn't, he clearly isn't. He's not good enough for you because you walked away from that relationship. And if he was the one, and if he was good enough for you, you wouldn't you walked away from that relationship and if he was the one and if he was good enough for you you wouldn't have walked away from that relationship okay you're feeling like this now because you're in pain and it hurts but that doesn't mean it's not okay it's not right that doesn't mean it's not for the best okay um he

just gave up saying i deserve better etc he didn't care what do you mean yeah yeah you deserve better fuck have you not got a little bit of fight in you you've not got a little bit of oh no please i'll be better i promise like i really don't want this relationship to end he didn't have a fucking fight in him and that is embarrassing from him okay do you know what i mean i'm your girlfriend i'm telling you you don't make me happy i'm ending the relationship and rather than going no I can't lose you what can I do to make you happy I swear I'm in love with you you're my dream girlfriend he's going yeah fair enough you deserve better and then he's snapchatting girls and you and you

want him back no you don't no you don't you just you're hurting and that's absolutely fine and you have every right to go through this pain but do do not get the lines blurred that he was the one for you and you should have tried harder maybe if you did more he would have been a better boyfriend because he wasn't and maybe one day he'll hit rock bottom and go oh my god i should have been a better boyfriend and come running back trust me they always come back okay and he will he will come back all right so just remember we don't chase we attract okay but stop blaming yourself stop blaming yourself you don't try again and you don't message him because he was one that wasn't good enough for you you didn't do anything wrong you're not the one that's treated him bad and gone oh my god i shouldn't have done that like

the way you're talking it's as if you're him you're the one that didn't treat him right and you're the one that didn't give him enough, and you're the one that didn't give him enough love, you know, like, should I have done more, like, um, honey, he should be thinking this, all right, so, um, you know, you also said, um, I'm blaming myself thinking I'm the cause of everything that's happened, after all, I am the one who ended it, not him, no, you're the one, you're the one that walked away from the relationship, but he was the one that did damage to the relationship. Like he was the one that made the relationship what it was and made you, put you in that position where you didn't want to be with it because like you said, he wasn't treating you right. So you weren't right for each other. And

that's okay. At least not right now. At least not right now at least not right now maybe one day maybe one day he might be your person but right now he's not he's not treating you how you deserve you said those words yourself and what you're not going to do is blame yourself for that what you're going to do is focus on yourself show yourself more love give give the love you're giving to him to yourself yeah and if he's going to step up and be a good person and treat you right he's going to come back to you and he's going to step up and be a good person and treat you right he's going to come back to you and he's going to say that to you okay you're not going to come running back to him he's going to come back to you and ask for another chance okay and if he doesn't good buy a good fucking riddance i'm glad i ended the relationship if you can't you didn't fight for me when i ended

it and you're never even going to come and run back come run back to me and say that you you should have done better you should have done better. You should have done more. No. Okay then. Well good. I'll find somebody better won't I? And you said the arguments. You said oh my god the arguments.

But yeah. I mean hopefully. Hopefully you're in a different place to when you sent this podcast. Because I know. This dilemma. Because I know when you're going for a breakup you can feel so different from one day to the other please send me an update please tell me you haven't messaged him i guarantee you send me a dilemma be like yeah uh messaged him anyway begged him begged him to take me back he doesn't want me and then you feel fucking rejected no i'm

kidding um honestly you're feeling rejected now even though you ended it because of how he's acting his behavior now feels like more rejection right but he made you feel rejected rejected in the relationship and he's doing it now and you deserve better than that so love yourself enough to to want better for yourself um and i love you so much you are strong beautiful talented funny kind and amazing and i love you we all love you you got this listen to my breakup episode anyone go for a breakup right now listen to the breakup episode okay next dilemma hi it's fido start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget we have everything you need for an a plus year come check out our special back to school

offers they'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love select plans even We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection, so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido.

At your side. Right Leah firstly wanted to say that I love you and your podcast thank you I listen religiously every Tuesday Friday and Sunday and it seriously helps me relax and have a giggle yay I love that that makes me so happy please never stop I won't I promise please never stop listening otherwise I might have to stop. Okay. Onto the dilemma. A long one. So sorry. No, it's fine. Never apologize. So a little backstory. I have four other siblings and two of which are very, of a very similar age, a twin brother and an older sister of three years. Okay. Amazing. That's actually just like me. I have a twin brother and my older sister is two and a half years older than me. How crazy. We recently all got into relationships within a few

weeks of one another and as a result we all became inseparable okay can't relate can't relate that does sound really quite lovely though that's such a nice dynamic so happy for you guys all of the guys and all the girls became so close and we all spent every weekend going on adventures and just having the best time over the last year and a half wow what an amazing friendship group that is so fun imagine christmas at your house oh that's amazing imagine birthdays oh so fun however this all came crashing down this weekend oh shit okay okay everybody get comfortable my sister's boyfriend attempted to cheat on her at a nightclub okay what do you mean attempted in which he got caught out through his instagram he followed a new girl who followed him back right away and deleted all the photos of him

and my sister while he was out are you fucking serious are you serious wow this caused them to suddenly break up yeah good but my sister has good. But my sister has managed to, oh, my sister's managed to forgive him and try to work on the relationship and build the trust back. But I hate him. It's so uncomfortable. Oh, sorry. It's so unfortunate because we did get along so well and I never in a million years expected this, but I just hate him. I can't stand the fact that he tried to do this to her and use the classic i've told the truth and owned up so you can't break up with me are you fucking dumb are you actually dumb oh okay so i'm gonna go and have sex with a boy and then i'm gonna come home and go by

the way i've just had sex with somebody but i've just told you so you can't break up with me idiot i basically need your advice on whether i'm right in my hatred or whether i should try to forgive and move on for my sister's sake i'm really struggling to even consider speaking to him after seeing how destroyed she was on saturday night but my heart aches for her and i don't want to make her life even more difficult because i know how in love she is she does sink the actual world of this boy and i would hate to constantly be reminding her of it help love you bye wow what an awful situation i can't lie i think i'd be exactly the same as you i don't think i don't think i'm looking past that for me i'm the kind of sister like i actually made a tiktok about this

i'm way more protective over my older sister than she is of me and if my well she is protective but she's you know i'm she's more young and well she's she's not young she's older than me but she's more like naive and i'm more like we hate men never see through their bullshit kind of energy with everyone that she introduces me to and if she was in this position and she had been cheated on okay, I just really hurt my nail. You're saying that he tried to cheat. I think chatting up a girl and removing Instagram photos is a level of cheating. I think that is bullshit.

The only reason you didn't, quote, cheat is because she didn't want it, not because you decided it was a bad idea, okay? So you're a cheater, basically. That's what you showed me. You are capable of cheating and you would have cheated on me that night if it was up to her it's not because you you're actually a decent fucking person right so he's a cheat little scumbag and if that's my sister's boyfriend i'm the same as you i don't want nothing to do with him i do i do not want

you to think that you're getting away with that behavior in my family like that is that is my energy and i'm with you on that one but totally get it sometimes you end up just pushing them away sometimes you push your sister to him more and then then if anything like this ever happens again she feels like she can't talk to you because now there's already a drift and now she feels embarrassed to tell you because she thinks you're gonna go I told you I told you so I knew this would happen but you're obviously not gonna do that because you're a good sister but listen I don't know what I would do I think I would probably talk to my sister and be like babe I'm not gonna lie I don't think I'll ever ever ever really like him. And I think you deserve better. And I'm heartbroken for you.

I think you're stunning. I think you're funny. I think you're kind. I think you're an absolute catch. And he is a prick. But you're my sister. And I'll have you, I'll have your back every step of the way. And if you want to give him another chance, that's your choice. And I will be here for you no matter what happens. If it goes to shit,

if it goes well, I'll be there, right? Now, when it comes to the family's things, and you said that you used to all hang out as a big group, that's difficult because I know I would be so frosty with him. But you'd like to think that over time maybe he can just prove himself. But I think I would personally have a chat with him and be like, listen, listen, Dave, yeah? You listen here. You listen up, Dave. You've got some real fucking work to do if you want my friendship back. Because I think you're a nasty piece of work.

Now, you're a cheating piece of work now you're a cheating little slug right i've never called anyone slug in my life but that actually felt quite powerful so i'm gonna use that everybody can we make that thing you're a cheating little slug right and i just want my sister to be happy so what we're going to do Dave is we're going to slowly get back into things and you are going to suck it up and accept that you've got some work to do here to get all of our trust back because quite frankly none of us trust you at this point Dave all right so and hopefully he'll go yeah I understand I understand I have I've broke all of your trust and I've not just done this to your sister i've done this to you at the end of the day i've done

it to all of you and i have got some work to do and i'm willing to do it because your sister means well to me i don't know why it's cockney maybe he is that would be crazy if he is and imagine his name's actually dave that would be weird i don't know dave do you know a dave our age what's he fucking 50 anyway no offense to any dave's our age out there so that's my personal opinion obviously this is all my personal opinion it's just Lear on the line it's just a phone call with your best friend slash sister but that's personally what I would do because I wouldn't want to push my sister away my sister would be my number one priority in this situation so I'd be like look sis not happy about it think he's a massive prick but you're my sister i've got your back you're my best friend i'll be there no matter

what and i'll have a word with him and i'd say i hope you are willing to put in the work with all of us to understand that you need to get all of our trust back because we're all hurt by this we all felt like we knew you were all meant to be like really good fucking friends yeah so hopefully as we know on leo and the line we've done the debate before we don't believe in once a cheater always a cheater okay hopefully dave can turn it around for himself and your sister can be happy and get the relationship she really wants but hopefully she's punished him a bit you know hopefully there were some consequences to his actions um but yeah oh my god please update us on that one please please update us on that one give your sister a big hug

from me tell her she's strong beautiful amazing and she's got everything it takes if she does feel like she wants to walk away from the relationship she has what it takes if she feels like she wants to be put her foot down and say listen here dave i'm taking you back yeah but you gotta understand how lucky you are to have me she's also she's also got what it takes to do that and she's she's amazing and you're an amazing sister and i love you both okay moving on hey leo my boyfriend and i have been together for over a year i'm in the happiest relationship and i couldn't ask for more yay why are we writing a dilemma then i'm i'm upset because i want you to

be happy i don't i want that dilemma to end there okay but it doesn't here we go a couple months ago he followed two girls on insta on a drunken night out well listen we've just heard why dave did that listen okay continuing on i've brought it up recently as it's been playing in my mind why he would want to i don't believe he'll ever cheat and hopefully nothing came from it he said he doesn't remember and it's just a follow i'm probably overthinking but how do i trust him when all i'm all i keep thinking is he speaks to girls and i'm not there and ask for their socials love you bye wow i mean yeah let's not hope this is another dave situation but i will say something you

probably don't want to hear i obviously following girls on instagram isn't fucking cheating all right that's not what i'm saying but if it's a case of you're on a night out you're chatting up a girl no okay sorry we're jumping to conclusions here let me go back you're on a night out you're just talking to a girl and then you go what's to conclusions here let me go back you're on a night out you're just talking to a girl and then you go what's your instagram and she says oh it's at leah levain right that's my instagram by the way if anyone fancies following it and then he's like okay cool opens instagram hits follow so at leah levain that for me is unfaithful i'm sorry it's not cheating i'm not saying it's cheating it's unfaithful i'm sorry it's not cheating i'm not saying it's cheating it's

unfaithful i don't like that behavior at all and it won't go with me it won't go with me really i i mean it um anybody else i'm sure there's so many of you that think leah you're a psychopath relax yourself that's why you're single okay because you're a crazy bitch but these are the boundaries that i have in my relationships I don't want my boyfriend to go up to a girl and ask for her Instagram I don't care what your intentions are it's embarrassing for me it's muggy it's rude it's insulting and it's unfaithful in my opinion okay but we don't know that's the case we don't know that he walked up to her and said hey what's your insta like we don't know they could it could have happened

where um i'm trying to think of a scenario why you'd ever follow a random guy on a night out i can't think of a time put it this way i can't think of a time in my entire life i followed a boy's instagram on a night out in my entire life unless we were chatting like that unless it was we're two single people chatting each other up what's your insta anyway it's like the new what's your number in it so not new but you know i mean god how old do i think i am i'm so hip and down with the kids so yeah my immediate response is what the fuck you doing that for and in my experience My immediate response is, what the fuck are you doing that for? And in my experience, my gut feeling with random following on Instagram has been right

in terms of there was something dodgy going on under the surface. So not like no cheating or anything. Well, who fucking knows? Do you know what I mean? It never came out. But I always think this way. In your past relationships, if they did cheat on you right and you still didn't know and you're broken up would you like to know now because i

would not like say somebody messaged me and was like hey just so you know when you were with blah blah blah we had sex nope if nope if anybody's ever done that please never tell me i never want to know i'd rather move on my life peacefully without knowing that thank you because it will destroy my trust and it's completely irrelevant to my life at this point. But yeah, in my opinion, following girls on Instagram is just fucking shit. No need for it, hun. Absolutely no need for it. But you said, I don't believe he'll ever cheat. Okay, no, but that's fine. But that doesn't mean that this behavior isn't isn't still unacceptable because at the end of the day you don't like it and i think that's enough

like you've said sorry i've been making this about me this whole time let's actually go back to you shall we shut up yeah you've said it's been playing on your mind you just don't get why he'd want to and and you said you're overthinking but how do i trust him and all i keep thinking is he speaks to girls and i'm not there and ask for their socials and he's gone it's just instagram it's just a follow i can't remember i can't remember why don't you remember were you blackout no why don't you remember well if you're blackout drunk you're not on instagram are you you've your face plant in the ground or being sick in a corner. Like, it just annoys me when people say, I can't remember, I can't remember, shut up. Like, it's so rude, so insulting to my brain when you say that to me. You think I'm that stupid. But I do think the fact

that you don't like it, the fact that it's giving you anxiety, the fact that it makes you feel insecure, makes you feel paranoid, is making you overthink though on those grounds alone you have the right to say i don't like this behavior and i don't want it in our relationship and it will not go down well if you do that shit again right and he hopefully should be like look babe i absolutely adore you i don't even look at other girls honestly girls are nothing compared to you you're fucking 10 out of 10 baby girl yeah but instead he's going it's just an instagram follow babe i can't remember i can't remember a bit fishy fishy over here such a fishy response right so i think a little bit of communication from you to him and say look babe no we're not going to

babe him over this matter. Remember when you went out the other night and you followed that girl on Instagram? Still pissing me off to this day. So I'm just going to let you know now that I really, really, really don't like that. And I really don't want you to do that again. Okay? And hopefully he doesn't. Hopefully this is just one little blip in the relationship and you can move on happily with your lives do you know what i mean do you know what i mean hopefully anyway geez okay i love you so much and you know i'm sure it's fine it is just a follow at the end of the day but what matters is how it affects you and do not let him belittle that okay however it makes you feel

that is the problem not the actions all right not what he not what his intentions were it's it's the result of of them that's what we're focusing on here okay love you so much you're you're amazing okay next one hi leah love the pod thank you around this time last year me and my best friend since year nine started drifting no i hate a best friend breakup she was the only person i ever felt safe around and can talk to about anything later on in the year we stopped talking randomly and only spoke on a few occasions afterwards now we haven't spoken since january but i still miss her loads and i'm constantly finding myself looking at old pictures and videos of us as i miss her that much i've made lots of new friends since the loss of that one but still none of them feel the same and I'm scared I'll never have a best friend like it again

okay listen you guys remember in like the first few episodes I was talking about a best friend that I had and we like lost touch and I never really knew why and it was like really a genuine heartbreaking like breakup for me we're friends again listen we're not like solstices like we were but we're in contact again i still class her as like somebody i could go to in a life or death situation like it's so nice to have her back in my life kate and i never thought that would happen so let me tell you if you feel like this towards someone which and I've I completely can understand how you felt because I felt exactly the same with my friend um that doesn't happen very often you don't have those connections with people very often so when they do come they last forever like believe me

now right my best friends I've got two best friends well let's class let's say three like really really good best friends who I can go to for anything right the first one I've got two best friends well let's class let's say three like really really good best friends who I can go to for anything right the first one I've known since I was like 10 and we went to separate unis we drifted at college we didn't see each other for years and still to this day we came back together I could go to her for anything I see her all the time now like our lives are so different she's got a child she's got a house with like a basically husband and i i'm living at home in my mom's bedroom not my mom's bedroom my my mom's house is my mom's bedroom what but my childhood bedroom basically and i do a fucking i do tiktok and podcasting for

a living right our lives have gone so in such different directions, but we are, we got brought back together regardless. Like she is still my absolute soulmate, right? And each other, understand each other more than anything. And then my other best friend, Zoe, love you Zoe, we met in a show. We literally clicked on the first day. Again, like you were saying, had the most unreal connection it's really rare to find everybody saw it like there was like wow you two are like fucking sisters like people thought we'd already met on the first day we met and we didn't speak like we had not like a major fallout but we didn't speak for like a few months

and i was gutted she was gutted like we was like that's the end of our friendship like i'm never gonna have this again and then we came back together and we spoke about our differences and now I know that she is a for life like that's a friend for life and then my other friend who's the girl that I lost contact with she we met on Instagram and instantly just had this unreal connection like sound like I'm on love island and then she moved to London and we spent like all our time together whenever I was going through shit in my relationship she was the first place I would go like she'd literally be waiting for me with a bottle of wine she'd listen to me say the same thing over and over and over again and she was such a good friend to me so when we when we lost

contact I was absolutely gutted devastated and, and we came back together. So trust me. And they're the only three people in my entire life I felt that connection with and a friendship that you'll describe him. And when I tell you, your friendship will come back together, it will. And my auntie used to say to me, I talk about my auntie all the time, don't I? My auntie used to say to me, you're going to come back in each other's life. That is your friend for life. And I'd go, no, we're not. Why would we? i've not seen her in years she was right we did and it's as an adult now that i'm like that is that is a friend for life no matter what what life throws at you no matter where you go in life those people that you have those bonds with are your for lifers like

they will be there for you no matter what like you have that love that bond like you know for a fact yeah the way you're describing your friend now she feels the same yeah and you know for a fact if she rang you tomorrow and was like i don't know your name uh i don't know uh sally sally um i really need you i've broken up my boyfriend i've got nowhere to go. Please, can you come get me? You'd be there in a heartbeat. And that is love. And you have love in them friendships. So honestly, reach out if you feel you can. Like if you feel like you can swallow your pride, just put out that olive branch what even happened like you just randomly stopped talking i think this isn't one-sided like when you have a friendship like

that it's not one-sided when you love someone and miss someone that much it's not one-sided i think put out that olive branch and say look i've really missed our friendship you are my absolute soul mate i still love you so much i would really love to to spend some time with you again just hang out with you again rebuild our friendship if you'd like the same life is so fucking short you never know what's around the corner honestly i just think to anybody that needs to hear this right now put out that olive branch to the friend that you miss that friend that you can't stop fucking getting upset about and the friend that you really fucking miss but you may be being a bit too stubborn because she says something that really still to stay upset you and bothers you just honestly reach out the olive branch and just go i really i really want to salvage this friendship because it means the world to me

wow look at me go i just love i just love love i'm just such a lover just such a friendship lover okay i'm gonna rack up the app jesus, guys. Wrap up the app. I'm not racking anything up ever in my life. Okay. I'm going to wrap up the episode. Honestly, thank you so much for all your love and support. You guys are literally everything to me. I don't know what I would do without you. I don't know what I would do without our weekly catch-ups, our weekly advice sessions. guys just the best honestly also if you don't follow me on tiktok i feel like you probably should because i'm always live so i feel like if you enjoy my podcast you probably enjoy my lives right like is that

does that not go out kind of kind of go about saying you know yeah i feel like you would so please follow me on tiktok follow me on insta, at Leah on the line, at Leah Levain. Send in all of your confessions, dilemmas to Leah on the line at gmail.com or head over to at Leah on the line on Instagram. Click the link tree in my bio. And then there's a button at the top that says submit here. Click that. And then it will say confessions or dilemmas.

You click whatever button you want to confess to. I mean, submit to. And that's all you got to do to be a part of leo on the line or if you're interested on how to get your say on the weekly debate it's always on instagram always on an instagram story so have my notifications for stories turned on if if you um are worried about missing them and yeah please actually please also i'm gonna say this and I'm gonna sound like a desperate little fucking slut but I don't even care because you guys don't judge me well some of you do and I'm kind of upset to people whatever um I posted Instagram the other day and I think everybody thinks it's an ad because no one no one's showing it much love and I actually think I actually think

it's quite nice I just thought it was quite nice I just thought it was quite nice I just thought I could look quite nice I just thought it looked quite nice and it's basically um not the anything you know not that Instagram matters not that my validation comes from Instagram or anything but it's not an ads um I'm just genuinely trying to get back on Instagram and make myself feel good about myself again and start posting and being active on there um so please show my latest instagram some love it's so embarrassing it's so embarrassing i'm so pathetic what emoji should we do but then i kind of love it i kind of find it really fun when i say a certain emoji and then you guys all do it because then i get so excited being like oh my god like when i just sit here chatting in my bedroom like i forget some people actually listen do you you know what I mean? And then when I'm just like on Instagram and then I see you

all commenting the emoji, I'm like, oh shit, I said that on my podcast. People actually listen to me. That's so fun. And then I just go and stalk you all and comment on like all your stuff. So let's, what emoji should we do? How about like a telephone emoji for Lear on the line? How about that? Is that cute? I wish there was a pink telephone emoji for leah on the line how about that is that cute i wish there was a pink telephone emoji um apple can we make that happen leah on the line emoji imagine that that would be next level i need to make some leah on the line gifts how do you do that anybody know how to do that can anybody make me some leah on the line gifts so that i can put them on instagram stories and you guys can as well i'm sure it's pretty easy i bet it's actually quite easy can i do that i'm gonna look into that anyway you guys are the best friends i could ever ask for please

keep sending me dms of like things that your boyfriends do that give you the ear call make you laugh or things that you think would make me laugh because they honestly really do you made my night night in my dms like i was actually in a bit of a weird grumpy stroppy mood like i had no good reason to be but i just was and then i just read all my stroppy mood. Like I had no good reason to be. But I just was. And then I just read all my DMs and I was like oh no. How can you be fucking moody when you've got these amazing people in your DMs. Like you guys are just the best. So yeah.

I'm going to go. I'm going to shut the fuck up. It's midnight. Right. But I'm going to shout my love you bye today. My brother's in bed. But at the end of the day. This is my fucking house as well now

do you know what i mean do you what i want i do what i want no one tells me i'm an adult i'm a grown woman do you ever think about that sometimes you just think like we actually we're adults and can do what we want like we're just unsupervised at all times like has anybody ever just processed that like i'm just an unsupervised child basically like what is the difference if you actually think about it like i don't know what to do in an emergency i don't know what to do do you actually know what to do in emergency i don't have cpr or first aid training i don't i really should because i could save a life with that and how cool would i be look at me making it about me somebody would literally be dying and i'd

be like how can i make this about me somebody could be dying could literally be dying have a paramedic at their at their service and i'd go i'm first day trained i guys i know cpr they'll be like we we have a paramedic thank you though how can i make this about me how can i make this about me faints faints remember jillian mckeith on um i'm a celeb when she did that faint that would be me if there was an emergency that wasn't about me no i don't want an emergency about me i really don't want i really really don't want an emergency about me that's giving me really bad anxiety guys no i'm picturing like a really bad literally a really bad scenario that's going to be about me i'd literally rather be on the outside what the fuck am i talking about of course i want to be

on the outside what am i talking about why would i want that situation to be about me am i okay is there actually something wrong with me anyway jesus christ i'm gonna shut the fuck up now and i'm gonna go and count all my blessings okay do you ever just say things out loud because you feel like the universe is listening like just keep going i'm so grateful for all the things that i've been given because you feel like the universe has listened to you so is that just me is that as you say wrong with me like if you say something that sounds really ungrateful like sometimes i'll mutter into my breath like i didn't mean it i'm really exposing myself i'm actually such a freak like sometimes

i'll be like oh fuck my life and then i go i didn't mean that by the way it's just the saying that is so embarrassing that i'm admitting that oh honestly fuck my life and then i'd go that was just a joke by the way it's a figure of speech oh my god i'm humiliated i'm going to go now before i embarrass myself anymore there's got to be one person out there in the world that does that as well there has to be one of you all right honestly guys thanks for making my night tonight you've been the best hope you guys have the best evening day afternoon morning whatever whatever time it is that you listen to this if you're at the gym whatever do a little insta story and tag me in it so i can see what you're up to i love the

insta tags i love them because i love just seeing people at the gym i love seeing people's beautiful dogs on their beautiful dog walks i love just seeing people in the office i love it i love it and i'll share them obviously all right guys i will speak to you on friday have the best week um do whatever you gotta do be productive be lazy get drunk stay sober but don't text your ex text me and i'll speak to you on friday all right you little bitches i love you Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers.

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