Leah on the Line - 27: When is too soon to move in together? & having no friends in your 20's!

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

Hi gorgeous people! Welcome back to another episode full of your amazing dilemmas! Thank you so much to everyone that sends them in, I feel so lucky that you all trust me with your problems! I love you guys so much, I hope you love this episode! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, hi everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. How are you? Sorry about Friday. It wasn't actually my fault. I pre-filmed three entire episodes because I was away for like two weeks straight um pre-filmed them all had them all scheduled to go live and then I woke up on Friday morning I was like oh let me just double check my episode was live uh it wasn't signed into Acast which is where I upload my episodes and it was just nowhere to be seen hun I was like right okay see this is an issue now because i'm not at home to get on my laptop and upload it so i uploaded it on saturday i know i know i was so annoyed with myself because i was in such a streak with these like uploads you know

i was monday i mean i mean tuesday tuesdays and fridays i've been on it do you know what i'm saying but you know what i'm human at But do you know what? I'm human at the end of the day and no one was really that bothered anyway. So thanks a lot, everyone. How many of you opened Spotify or Apple or whatever it is on Friday to check for an episode and there wasn't one? Because I didn't actually get that many messages. I'm not gonna lie. Okay. I didn't do it for attention, but if I did, I would have been upset. Right? No, I'm joking. I got, I got some people being like, are you okay? Like what's happening? Um, so yeah, apologies, apologies for that, but we're back in business, baby. Happy Tuesday. How's your weekend been? How's your Monday yesterday? Did you have a

good beginning of the week I always say this but like I enjoy Mondays a lot of people like oh hey Monday get Monday out the way whereas I'm like new beginnings new week fresh start so I'm feeling positive and then Tuesday that's when it goes downhill for me I can't like I'm joking but okay enough, enough, enough, enough. Whoa, whoa, whoa, something just happened to me. Like I couldn't speak. My vocabulary just went to bed then. Anyway, what I was going to say is enough jibber jabber. Jibber jabber. Is that a thing? Jibber jabber. Enough jibber jabber. Let's get into the weekly debate, honeys. Hope you're okay. How was your weekend? Hope you had a good week last week um send me a dm

what's going on in your life the weekly debate this week is how soon is too soon to move in with someone now i'm a bit on the fence with this one so let's have a look what you guys are saying okay i feel like as long as you've experienced enough together in the short term it's fine okay okay okay um there is no time scale do what feels right life's too short someone says i think at least six months um one year max i think it should be with someone six months to truly get to know them before moving in um a lot of you are saying the six months mark, if you know, you know, moves in after six months with mine and still good two and a half years later. Love that for you. Success story. Um, it depends who you are, depends, sorry, depends who you are with and what stage of life I think. Oh God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. Defo fun to date first though, and not rush into it too soon.

Yeah, I do agree. Like this is the conversation I've had recently like once you've moved in with someone you've lost that dating going to visit each other like you've lost that that period of your life is done um which for some people is like a good fucking riddance you know what I mean I'm sick of it I want to live with you I want to be at home with you like I want to come home to you and I totally get that but at the same time it's a bit like you only get this time once do you know what I mean like once we move in together that's it we're together now all the fucking sign so I totally get it um somebody says um me and my boyfriend have basically lived together since our third date wouldn't change it at all oh my god romantic um I don't think you can put a time on it whatever feels like a natural

progression yeah I actually really agree um I feel like trust your gut like my personal opinion on this is I've lived with both my boyfriends um and my personal opinion is trust your gut so like when I moved in with someone before I literally cried on the first night had like a really weird gut feeling that it was just like not the right thing to do and then obviously we didn't work out so it's really weird like I almost knew this isn't this isn't right like this isn't a good thing but then I don't think we would have stayed together as long as we did if we didn't live together anyway so it was like impending doom. But the other situation was like when I moved in with them, it was just totally natural, really, really soon. And it just made sense and felt really,

really perfect. So yeah, I think, yeah, natural progression is the right phrase that I'm thinking of um I'm questioning this myself my boyfriend and I have been together a year will be two years by the time we graduate he's talked about getting a flat together but is this too soon again I think trust your gut like if you're thinking oh my fucking god this does not feel right maybe give it a bit more time or if you're like I really want to do this but like is that is that soon like if you really want to do it do you mean um there's no too soon 100% a learning experience makes or breaks okay i really actually like this outlook that is definitely true like um it's either going to work out or it's not and it's not really that deep like unless you're buying a home together that's obviously a massive, massive commitment. But if you're just

moving in together, like you're renting or like maybe one of you is moving into your other person's family home or whatever, then it's a learning experience. And if it doesn't work out, then that's okay. Like, do you know what I'm saying? But if you're buying, then yeah, let's think about this. Somebody says anything before one and a half years or before a holiday or two, dependent on rental buying. Okay, yeah. That is true. It's a great point there. Like, holidays definitely help, don't they? But then, because they say that like, when you go on a holiday with someone, that's when you really get to know a person, don't they? But at the same time, you're your best self on holiday because you're living life you're stress

free you're in the sun usually depends where you go so I disagree with that because like I've had great holidays with people and then we go home and it's miserable so I don't know like I do I do agree you really get to know a person to an extent but I think you get to know the best sides of that person and living with somebody is when you get to see all of the shit parts of them like all of the how they handle stress how they handle like you know the stress of bills like having to figure out what you're gonna have for dinner every night um long days at work or just wanting to be on their own and having to be in your company sometimes can be irritating for people do you know what I'm saying so it really is a case of just like do I think we're

compatible to live together because that is essentially what it comes down to like compatibility like will we work in each other's company every single day um someone says I think before one year is too soon I feel like you really get to know someone in the first year and before as soon. Okay. Yeah, I do actually agree. Like sometimes you'll be six months into a relationship and you think you really know them. And then like another six months will go by and you realize you didn't know them at all because this is the situation. It's like people can be something that they're really not for a whole six months. Like, believe me, people can put on a show for six whole months and you think for a whole six months like believe me people can

put on a show for six whole months and you think it's been six months I know them do you know I mean our relationship is amazing this is the reality of our relationship but people really can hold up and act for that long sadly so don't get too comfortable girls that's what I'm saying I'm kidding um anytime before one year is premature in my opinion um less than three months too soon I don't think there's a timeline I moved in with my boyfriend after a month three years ago okay I love that see there's so many success stories of people that move in early that's the thing and I do genuinely believe like your body your gut will just know like if you're like this is not right like, this is not going to work, or I'm rushing into this,

or I need to think about this, listen to those thoughts and those feelings. And also, it depends on what's good for you, like in what in what's what you need right now, because like, I've, I've been a very codependent partner in my life. And that is something I will, I'm like, it's going to be my biggest mission to kick because I'm like I don't want to be codependent anymore like I want to be an independent girl and therefore be a better girlfriend in that way because I don't depend on you like you know you're not my just full emotional mental support like you're just part of my life and you make it better and I make your life better so right now for me like if I was gonna meet somebody move in with them within three months that would be a poor

choice for me but somebody else who's been on their own for a long time and then they move in really quickly that's because maybe they've had all that time to figure out who they are and and you know like get build that independence so that they can move in with somebody and still sustain a healthy balance in their relationship does that make sense I really do think it's situational um and what works for one person might not necessarily work for somebody else but on the flip side I'm the kind of person where I love living with my boyfriend like I really just love living together I want to live with you I love you like this is what I'm like but then I'm like no Leah no Leah no codependent no we're going to build

our independence until it feels right and like I would just wait for that feeling for it to feel right personally um but yeah I'm again that's why I'm on the fence because I don't I don't know if there is like a timeline where it can be too soon because I'm sure there's success stories where people have met and then like they're instantly together and also sometimes it can be financially it can make sense financially like say you were both moving to a city together or that you were moving to a city where your boyfriend lived or your girlfriend lived and you're like right am I gonna get my own place and pay double or am I gonna move in with you and we both pay half do you know what I'm saying so like sometimes financially it can just be it can make way more sense and I think a lot of people will move in for that reason as well

obviously because you're like I want to live with you I love you but then also it just sounds like a fucking great idea that way as well and it's affordable that way do you know like I want to live with you I love you but then also it just sounds like a fucking great idea that way as well and it's affordable that way do you know what I'm saying so yeah um somebody says I think move in with a friend before a boyfriend 100% so I'm very grateful for my uni experience because I lived with a group of friends in my first year like there was like six of us and then in my second year I lived with three well one who was my boyfriend and our two friends and then in my third year I lived with just me and him so I really feel like I was lucky in terms that I got to experience all of those different like living

situations and then um when I was living in London in my last relationship my best friend moved into her own flat, literally 10 minutes up the road from me. So I'd always be at her house. Like every time my relationship would go to shit, I'd literally come knocking on her door and she'd be waiting for me with a bottle of red wine. So it is important to have a friend down the road sometimes as well. I will say that if you're thinking about moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend, make sure that you have a support system outside of that relationship because otherwise it can be very isolating and very scary and very lonely just putting it out there all right okay interesting debate I feel like

there is no right or wrong answer on that one I mean I suppose there is there is never any right or wrong answer on a debate is there honey so yeah I love that um congratulations to everybody that's living with your partner I'm actually quite jealous I do miss living with a partner it is it is nice isn't it it just is sometimes depends depends who it is I suppose anyway let's move into some dilemmas um okay let's kick it off with this one um this one oh it isn't called anything so we're just gonna dive straight in hey leah right so i broke up with my boyfriend three weeks ago okay congratulations we went no contact for two weeks and then i lost it and had to message

i asked how he was and he said up and down exactly like me. I suggested to me and we did and cleared everything. He basically said he doesn't feel good enough in himself let alone to have a relationship again but if he's ready he'd want his future with me. I mean fuck with my head a bit more please. Do you know what I'm saying? Don't really want you but if I did want someone it would be you. Like it's just like what do you know what I'm saying okay we have tried to work on ourselves during the relationship but it got too difficult okay so now he's adamant he needs to get himself to the best version of him so that we can be together we both lost ourselves in the relationship I think thing is I'm feeling exactly the same

that I need to work on myself first and then we can be better together but it is so difficult I genuinely think he's the one and I cannot and don't want to be with anyone else I have so many thoughts stuck in my head like what if we don't get back together and mainly what if he finds interest elsewhere we still talk here and there and said he's and he said his interest is always me and if that ever changes he'll let me know and for me to do the same i feel so stuck because me and him are both thinking the same way yet i'm scared of the unknown i'm battling my thoughts on whatever's meant to be will be and just leave it in the hands of the universe or be honest with myself and fight for what i want and take control sorry if this is all over the place as i was writing this i could hear you

reading out on your voice and australian accent wait are you australian because i needed to know that information at the beginning so i could have put on the aussie accent um i hope you're having a good day and i appreciate you always love you so much hope you're having a good day as well right let's tackle this bit at a time um he doesn't want to be with you because he needs to work on himself absolutely work on yourself darling do you know what i mean absolutely do not let me hold you back from whatever it is you need to do whatever journey is you need to go on go ahead and do that do not do not feel guilty about it right but what i want him to feel guilty about is stringing

you along like a piece of cheese what is that catchphrase I've just come up with? Stringing me along like a piece of cheese. That's not a catchphrase, is it? Who strings along cheese? Cheese strings. Who strings along pieces of cheese? Mouse. Mice is the plural, sorry. That's not a catchphrase, is it? Why did it come out of my brain then it must be something anyway he's stringing you along like a piece of cheese and i'm not having it um i mean essentially he's like i don't want you but i want you to sit around here and wait just in case i change my mind that's what he's doing sorry to break it to you so brutally um but you said that you feel the same like you need to work on yourself and stuff and you know what maybe maybe you two will go your separate ways work on yourselves build up beautiful independent characters within yourself

and come back together and have this beautiful stunning gorgeous long-term relationship maybe that will happen right but we don't we don't see that right now that's not that's not any day any day soon so we we're gonna not think about that that is not at the forefront of our mind what is at the forefront of our mind is letting go the relationship that we've just left because you have walked away from that relationship yeah you may come back together and start a new one you have walked away from that relationship. Yeah, you may come back together and start a new one. But right now we need to accept that this one is over. And that's a good thing. It's a good thing that it's over. And you deserve 100%. And because he's not willing to give that to you, not out of choice, you know, maybe he's just not able to absolutely fine then we go okay that's absolutely no problem if you if you can't give me and i can't give you what we both deserve let's walk away and

that's what you've done um but the difficult thing here is um you saying that, you know, you genuinely think he's the one. And like I said, he may well be. But you're not necessarily going to get the progress you need and character development that you need with that mentality, with that holding on to him, with that i'm working on myself for him and for the relationship so what we want to be doing is working on ourselves for ourselves um not to be good enough for him not to be good enough for that relationship to work we're working on ourselves for ourselves because we love ourselves enough to give us that self-love you know we're going to be obsessed with ourselves now um and watch him come running trust me um i just think you feel stuck and i get that because you are a bit like he's like i don't want to be with you but i'm going to feed you all of this information about how much I love you and do want a future with you but so you're like don't go anywhere but like don't come close but like

don't go anywhere so of course you're stuck you don't know whether you're coming or going and that's a head fuck this is all one big fucking head fuck I can't lie like this must be absolutely draining and exhausting my personal opinion and advice to you as your best friend is um no contact and I know you said you tried it but two weeks two weeks you just split with someone I do agree um but but I think it would be really beneficial for some no contact again um and for you to really give this a go because right now you're not together you're not getting back together you said that you want to work on yourself and he wants to work on himself so i genuinely believe that no contact would work right now and would be a really good way for you to separate yourself um from the things he's saying to you because I think it's

really hard to think clearly about what you even want when you've got someone feeding their feelings into your ear and vice versa so I think no contact might be a good good step at this stage because you're just getting a bit stuck um we're back and forth do you know what I mean it's so like what are we doing i'm in love with you but like i can't be with you but like i want to be with you but i'm not yet so like don't meet anyone else but and like wait for me but like if i do meet anyone else i'll let you know like no what we're gonna do is no contact and if if you're meant to be with this person you will be with this person at the time in your life and you you

it will just work and it will just be right um but for now I think yeah he's clouding your thoughts I'm sure you're clouding his because I'm sure you're telling him the same sort of thing um and it might be really nice to just be figure out you are for a minute. Do you know what I mean? And work on you. Give yourself the love that you were given to him. And be obsessed with him. And, you know, be willing to walk away from someone. You know, confident, inner strength.

And watch him come running towards you. No, I'm kidding. That's not why we're doing this. We're doing for yourself all right you've got this you're an amazing strong girl and I love you um don't you worry about a thing all right okay next one this one okay this one's quite um sweet let's go for this hi beautiful Leah hello darling. Hello, darling. Before I start my dilemma, can I just say that I've been here since day one? Wow, that's amazing. Thank you. And your podcast is the first thing I look forward to every week. Also, as an Aussie, your Australian accent is just the best. Oh, did you hear that, guys? It's confirmed from an actual Australian that I'm very good at

this it's confirmed information okay no one can take that away from me now I'm actually I actually think I was Australian in another world um I love Meredith First Side Australia um that's irrelevant what I want to know is where those photos came from who found them what's the go I love Dom god who watched that series of maths wasn't Olivia just a crazy girl crazy crazy girl she was actually crazy she leaked somebody's only fans nudes amongst the group guys like what the fuck and it was crazy and she didn't even feel any sort of remorse at all. It was insane. But then my favorite season was the one with Martha and Inez and Jess.

Oh, my goodness. And she was like, I'm going to throw my wine on her. No, I am. I actually loved Martha, you know. Controversial. A lot of people thought she was a bit of a, I don't want to call another girl a bitch but like they aren't my words i think i was called her a bitch um but i quite enjoyed her i can't lie um same as jess liked her can't lie um inez though there's like do you not feel guilty for what you've done she's like um no but then I watched an interview of her on private parts

Jamie Lang's podcast I'd love to go on that podcast not gonna lie anyway and she was like the producers make you say things like there was a scene when Inez was like oh she's like a bird she's just like a bird and apparently apparently the producers told her to say that. Interesting. Anyway, should I get back into the dilemma? Yeah. Okay. So let's talk about it. I'll be 16 on Friday. Okay. We have a little, we have a little girl in the building. Nobody swear, no foul language. Okay. But something i'm really anxious about is the future i don't really know what i want to do as a job and the thought of leaving school and having to venture into the real world gives me serious crippling anxiety i've had a pretty shit year

because it's genuinely all i can think about and i just don't know what to do this also makes school really challenging because all i can think about is that i need to figure out what i want to do for my career do you have any tips for people my age who feel similar or just some wise words of advice to make me feel better? I think it's just such a common issue that isn't talked about enough. I know I don't have my life. I know I don't have to have my life planned out at age 16, but it's just very overwhelming. Thank you, gorgeous. Love you. I love you so much. thank you gorgeous love you I love you so much so one thing I'm gonna start with is do not fucking worry okay I don't know I actually think it's scarier knowing what you want to do at young age than growing up and figuring it out as you go because when I was 16 I was like I need to be an

actress like I need to I need to be a singer I need to make it in the acting industry and then you have this overwhelming pressure every day to to make it and to to fulfill this goal that you have and you've had for years compared to someone who's just like yeah I haven't really figured it out yeah I'll figure it out but another thing I want to say is a lot of people don't figure out what the fuck they want to do until they're in their 30s. So you could live your life all over again and then figure out what you want to do for your life. And that is still fucking normal and still fine. Like you're so young. Honestly, you do not need to have your life figured out at 16. You don't

need to have it figured out at 21. You don't need to have it figured out at 21. You don't need to have it figured out at 25 because I'm 25 and I most certainly do not. You don't need to have it figured out with your 30s. You can just enjoy your life, go through it and fall in love with whatever you fall in love with. Go down the path where you're, where the universe takes you because that you're going to be where you're meant to be and find peace in that you know i mean i don't know what i'm going to do right now but i'm going to do something aren't i i'm not going to do nothing i'll do something so i'll just leave it up to the universe they'll figure out for me won't they a hundred percent they will this is the thing you're

so young you could live your life again and then think about it. That's how okay you are for time. Like, do not worry at all. That's honestly all I have to say on the matter. Honestly, don't stress. You're so young. Do not stress. Listen to me now. Listen to me. Listen. Don't stress about that. Enjoy your life. Meet people. Get to know people. Experience things. Experience places or people or I don't know. I don't know what else to say there. Things you want to experience. I'm starting to sound like Kendall Jenner. Have you ever seen that clip guys when she's like you say that you want to experience things but i feel like if you wanted to experience them you would experience them you know what i mean anyway yeah don't worry hon like you're absolutely fine just enjoy your life everything is going to be fine i love you we all we're all here for you

and don't worry you just just enjoy your life babe it's honestly that simple just go the flow just wing it darling just wing it but make good decisions don't don't take drugs don't have unprotected sex and um what else advice do you give to teenagers um and be kind be a nice person treat people well and and have good intentions okay love you nice person, treat people well and have good intentions. Okay, love you. Next dilemma. So I've been speaking to this boy who I get on really well with and we have a lot in common, but I have told him multiple times that I don't want to commit to anything at the moment due to coming out of a long-term relationship. I'm moving to Australia in a couple of months. Well, this episode is just Australian left, right and center. Every single

dilemma is mentioned Australia, isn't it? Anyway, I've said I'm happy to speak as friends as I enjoy his company, but only if it's not going to get his hopes up in the long run. Okay, I appreciate the honesty. Anyway, the last time we met, he told me he'd bought two tickets to go and see Coldplay and that we could go as friends, but I'm scared this will complicate things or give him the wrong wrong impression as he says how much he would love to give it a go if i agreed to get to know him seriously also concerned that it's a way to guilt trip me into getting to know him like that would love to go but no idea if it's the right thing to do love you bye okay i feel like you've done a great job of being honest with him here this is one thing i can really appreciate in the lear on the line dilemmas a lot of you lot like you're just great job of being honest with him here. This is one thing I can really appreciate in the Lear on the Line dilemmas.

A lot of you lot, like, you're just very good at being honest with people, like, when it comes to feelings and intentions and stuff, which I actually really rate about you guys. But I think what this guy's doing is a classic thing that us lot do when it's like, you know when a guy's like, I'm not looking for a relationship, and you just fucking fall in love with them anyway, and you just hope that you can change their mind and you never fucking do I mean sometimes you do but that's pretty nice anyway I'm joking I don't know why

I said that I literally haven't had that situation in like the last six years so I'm just literally sounding really tense and seeking empathetic next um yeah no I think he's done the classic like, oh, hopefully she'll change her mind if she gets to know me because I'm that amazing. But I actually do think that's probably what's going on in his head because realistically he could protect himself and go, OK, this girl doesn't want a relationship and she's moving to bloody Australia. So I'm not going to get involved here I'm just going to end up hurt you know I'm going to back up but he didn't and here we are so if you really want to go to Coldplay I would say to him like look I would love to experience this with you sounds amazing it's a really sweet gesture to invite me with you all all I'm concerned about is that you know I'm going away and don't want a relationship and I worry that me coming with you may blur the line slightly so I just

want to make sure we're on the same page before I before I commit to this with you because I don't want to be responsible for any sort of heartbreak here um I think maybe going with that I feel like just a little bit of clarification before we commit wouldn't go amiss you know what I mean just see you know I just don't want to blur the lines I don't want to you know overstep the boundaries here that we're setting in place you know I really don't want to hurt you I'm going away I don't want a relationship I really don't want to be responsible for any sort of pain or hurt that I may cause you because I'm that amazing and of course you're just gonna fall in love with me no not like that but you guys know what I mean so yeah I think going with that I mean surely that can't hurt can it just to just double check we're on the same page slightly um all right let's go in with the next one so i

actually popped this up on my insta story you guys remember a couple episodes ago a beautiful girl called page said i've got a really good idea maybe you could put the dilemma one dilemma up on your story and we can give our advice to the listeners so i've gone ahead and done that again this week so i actually forgot last week so let me read out the dilemma and then I'll read out your guys advice for this lovely girl okay hey Leah I've never sent a dilemma into someone's podcast but I love listening to yours every week so I thought I'd give it a try thank you so much I love you okay I'm a 24 year old girl with a boyfriend and have always been pretty unlucky in friendships I don't have a big friendship group whereas my boyfriend has around 20 people in his group who are always out drinking and doing things together i feel consciously oh sorry constantly anxious to make plans whenever

he's going out and i'm probably quite insecure which doesn't help it seems so hard to make new friends at this age as everyone has their solid friendship groups and it isn't as if you can magically meet new friends i would love some advice on how to manage my anxiety over this as I can't help but feel rubbish when I see everyone out on Instagram stories lots of love yeah I can 100% relate I was this girl for years like probably my entire life, I've never really had the, had my own thing, I've never had like a big friendship group, or a friendship group, like I've always just had like a handful of friends, and always had a boyfriend, and literally can relate basically, can relate, and it's a sad, lonely place, and I think the only way obviously I will read your guys advice

but um just speaking from experience I think the only way I ever came out of that was building these hobbies like it sounds really sad and pathetic but like TikTok I absolutely love it I'm very passionate about it but mainly because of the the friendship I have with my followers like I feel like um I have people that I I know and can talk to and it sounds really quite sad when I say it out loud actually but like it became like such a commitment to me for me sorry that I was like I've got my thing now like and I've got my people and people that I really love and appreciate and um yeah so that used to really get me out of bed on a bad day and it sounds so fucking sad when I say it out loud but also like my podcast like just having this like it became

I suppose like hobbies that I was really passionate about that were stress-free so like obviously I have my singing and stuff but that brings me a lot of stress and I don't enjoy it like I used to um so that was never really escaped for me and also that you're very lonely in that whereas this like doing social media really pulled me away from that like I'm really anxious insecure and lonely headspace that I was in um so you know if that appeals to you I honestly recommend like just building up this profile if if it appeals to you obviously I feel like you have to be a certain type of person to want to be a tiktoker or podcaster or instagram or whatever you want to do um if that appeals to you it made me feel a lot better so you know that's just from my personal experience um and also that's the thing that no one can take away

from you so like when your relationship is struggling or for me like when you come out of a relationship you still have your thing and what's yours so yeah that's why i love it so much but let's have a look what you guys have to say okay this girl says do things you love join a dance class go grab coffee on your own attend events on your own you'll find your people also where is this angel based I'll be her friend oh I actually don't know where she's based that's lovely though um somebody says I would like help with this too please I'm in the exact same situation okay so don't worry you're not alone okay this lovely girl says honestly i have been there i moved to a new town when i was 18 and had to start afresh when everyone had their friendship groups from school etc my advice would be you really do have to step out of your comfort zone i know it sounds

cliche go to that group join the club ask the girl from work if she fancies a wine after work one evening but also remember when you view these big groups that instagram isn't real and nine out of ten is not as great as it looks on the outside agreed actually you just reminded me one of the things one of the places where i've made the most friends in my life are bars when i've worked in bars so if that sort of line of work appeals to you I actually really recommend because you you can be yourself when you work behind a bar you tend to work with people roughly the same age as you um and you meet people who are customers you meet people because they're like regulars and locals and yeah it's a really nice environment to work a lot of the time um obviously there are some

shit places shit bars to work for but that's why I made a lot of the time. Obviously there are some shit places, shit bars to work for. But that's why I made a lot of friends in my life. So I actually really recommend that if it appeals to you. Find something you enjoy doing by yourself. And naturally you will probably make friends through the hobby. My boyfriend is a good example. He works from home and we moved into a new area so he didn't know anyone. He started going on a local running group and he's made friends with lots of people who he now goes on

regular runs with and they arrange club meals to socialize together i hope this helps excited to hear the episode love you bye that's actually really sweet um it's better to have a small group of friends over a big one i have one best friend that i do everything with and you realize that you can trust one person 10 times more than 20 people to meet new people the best way is over social media or in more organic ways like striking conversations in public it's hard to begin with but you'll be a social butterfly before long this is a great point so if you struggle with um like social interaction with strangers and stuff which I think a lot of people do, especially in our generation. I feel like it doesn't come as naturally since we all have

social media and phones and stuff that we can hide behind. I'd love to know what field of work you do, because I also feel like working in a like hospitality industry or any sort of industry where your customer facing can really big up your social skills and your ability to just like meet somebody and introduce yourself to somebody and just like present yourself in a confident way so depending on what you do for work that can also really help join a local girls facebook group my friend did this and arranged a girls brunch through meeting people on the page great for making new gal pals and everyone on the group is in the same situation wanting to make new friends. She now has two besties that she's met through the group and

has a great group of girlfriends. I love that. Let's have a look. I'm exactly the same. I think it's normal to feel anxious whenever your partner goes out. Okay. Sorry about that guys. Having some technical difficulties again. Um, if my mic goes down, I'm fucked by the way. So RIP Leah on the line, if this mic ever goes to shit, because my computer's not recognizing it, which is brilliant. Anyway, back to where I was. Um, what did I actually, where did I get cut off cut off oh it's normal to feel anxious when your boyfriend goes out i remember that um here we rarely see each other i actually only have a small group of friends and we rarely see each other due to having busy lifestyles now but one of my friends joined a facebook group where girls can meet up and become friends it's a good idea if you want to build new friendships one way i handle anxiety is by putting

on a new sorry a feel-good podcast or doing something that makes you happy everyone has different lives and it's important not to get stressed over social media when in reality the stories you're seeing of people going out could not actually be the case i know a few people who post an old pick of drinks on their insta story but in reality they're lying in bed wait what the fuck people do that social media can be toxic especially if you're insecure and anxious i would say stop looking at these people's stories and do things you enjoy don't have to be out drinking just because everyone else is preach it sister and there's also an app called bumble which has it's a dating app but you can turn on bff mode and then it's basically a friendship dating app so you just find

friends and you literally have like a dating profile but for friendships it's really actually quite sweet um somebody says if her boyfriend has lots of friends maybe some of his friends will have girlfriends maybe she could try messaging a few of them and seeing if they can meet up perhaps great idea but then also it's also important to build up a life away from your partner so yeah do that as well though um okay fantastic we have a mental health practitioner everybody listen listen to this this queen i'm a mental health practitioner and i would suggest firstly find out what it is making her anxious maybe try bumble aha here we go i've met some amazing girls on there and start small by maybe going for a coffee and build up to dinners days out etc work on some self-esteem follow some positive affirmation accounts on instagram don't push yourself to do something you don't or aren't

ready for and remember everyone might look like they're having a great time but probably aren't love it i'm just gonna end it on that one to be honest because i think she summed it up very well so honestly do not worry i bet there are so many people listening to this that can relate there's loads of you isn't there i can hear you all i can see you all just nodding your head now yeah that's me that's literally me she's describing me that's literally me i can see you imagine i could is that kind of creepy The thought of me looking at you right now. Creep. I'm such a creep. Anyway, how are you guys? God, I wish you could reply to me sometimes. I want to do some more voice note stuff. Any ideas for the voice notes? Would you be comfortable

sending voice note dilemmas though? That's's the thing I feel like maybe not because obviously that's your voice and a lot of people want to be totally anonymous um but somebody said about voice note x I thought that was a great idea um but I really did love our voice note episodes I feel like maybe I could do an assumptions about me episode with voice notes but then I feel like some people were do an assumptions about me episode with voice notes, but then I feel like some people were a bit brutal with assumptions, so they might not feel brave enough to do a voice note. Do you know what I mean? But then it would be a fun episode of people like, hey girl, I assume that you were a fucking bitch in school. Do you know what I mean? But let me know what you guys think to that. I think it's quite a fun idea. I'd love to do it. Let me know what you guys think to that.

I think it's quite a fun idea. I'd love to do it. And yeah, my sexy honeys. How are you? Who's watching Love Island? What do you think? I've got quite a funny story to tell you about Love Island that I will actually get into at some point. So yeah, I've actually got a lot to update you on.

I can't lie. My life has done a 360 recently. Like I'm not in a place I update you on. I can't lie. My life has done a three fucking 60 recently. Like I'm not in a place I ever fucking thought I would be. Believe me now. Oh my God. It's torture because you're like my best friends and I would love to tell you everything, but I do need to remember that there are other people that listen to this that don't like me. Isn't that interesting? Somebody left a review on my, sorry, a rating on my podcast saying like, love it, love it, but it's just too much about boys, and left one star, she was like, it's too much about boys, there's more to women than boys, I was like, it's literally the theme of the podcast, no, but I like, I'm not, I'm not annoyed by the negative reviews, I've got a few,

and that's fine, like, not everyone's gonna like you, do you know what I like, I'm not, I'm not annoyed by the negative reviews. I've got a few and that's fine. Like not everyone's going to like you. Do you know what I mean? Um, but it's the fact that her criticism was essentially just the nature of the podcast. And I was like, well, then it obviously just isn't for you, babe. And that's fine. But then also I put that on my story being like, I swear this is kind of unfair because that's literally the nature of my podcast. And you're just saying you don't like it, this is kind of unfair because that's literally the nature of my podcast and you're just saying you don't like it which is fine but somebody so many people replied to me and like um I disagree like you talk about masturbating you talk about mental health you talk about um like best friend drama like and I was like that is actually true I talk about body image that is kind of true I talk about bodily functions like when I put that on my story and

you guys said that I was like that's actually true like she's actually fucking coming for me there and it's actually fucking bullshit um but thing is I'm totally fine with um like the the critical reviews and stuff because sometimes they are helpful but I think the reason I was like not bothered but the reason I was just like really because I was like obviously I work so hard on this podcast like so fucking hard I cannot even tell you how much work I put into it and ratings affect the success of your podcast like they just do um so the fact that like someone's gonna go out of their way to give me a one-star rating is a bit of a kick in the teeth but I deserve it at times do you know what I mean like sometimes I'm like yeah fair enough fair

enough but because it's like she said she loves it but she just thinks it's too much about boys I was like I'm working very hard to make this a success because I love it and I'm so passionate about it um so that when I get like ratings like that I'm like like could you not have just accepted that this isn't the podcast for you and moved on do you know what I mean like fair enough if I offended you like there was there's somebody wrote a review because I offended them um which is fair enough I take it back I apologize and I love you please forgive me, that sounded really sarcastic, it wasn't, but because it's just like, yeah, I don't like it, I don't like what this is

about, I'm like, well then just don't listen then, just move on, like to take the time out of your day to give me a one-soul rating, what did I ever do to you eh oh the thing is so many of you are going to listen to this being like oh my god here she goes she can't take criticism but i cannot stress enough that i can take criticism now i'm actually a lot better at it since i get a lot of criticism with this but well not a lot but a bit but um it's the fact that it was just like yeah i don't like podcasts about boys i was like don't fucking listen to it then so if you've got a spare minute please leave me a nice five star rating i just really want this to be successful guys i can't actually do

oh god cracking up anyway when's the hot weather coming back anyway how did you all survive in that 40 degree heat i was sunbathing i was sunbathing drinking mojitos great company great vibes listening to some tunes loving life actually had the best day what did you guys do hope you're okay um it was cracking me up in the news though like it's like 40 degrees everyone's like this is a global emergency like do not leave the house get in the shade i was like oh my god literally we've had weather like this it was just one and a half degrees less hot and we weren't acting like this so why is everyone like get in the shade do not drink water drink water

everyone i was like what is going on like you have other countries that have like fucking tornadoes left right and center we have like a hot day and everyone's like do not leave the house it was crazy i was cracking up watching the news i get i get the emergencies about fires and stuff fuck me is that terrifying but it was the fact they were just like emergency it's gonna be hot drink some water don't don't leave and it was like it was like here's our top 10 tips for staying cool on Tuesday and it was like put on a fan I was like brilliant thank you it was like um stay hydrated I was like brilliant thank you wow that's a fucking brilliant idea.

Wish I thought that. Anyway, I had an amazing day, I can't lie. I'm ready for August weather though. Guys, it's my birthday in August. It's my birthday. Just so you all know, my birthday's August 22nd. Mark it in your diaries. I'm a Leo, so I expect lots of attention.

All right? Everyone get your cute edits of me ready. Everyone make cute edits of me. I'm kidding. I'm not really. I am, I am. I am, relax. Anyway, got my lips done the other day.

I absolutely love them. Feeling like a sexy fish. Isn't that a sweet sexy fish anyway i'm gonna wrap it up now because i've had enough of my invoice god i bet you lot are so sick of me you're about to be sick of me no you are in it i bet you so are all right all right all right who's gonna win love island david david and ekin david and ekin love you love him love him love him love him so much i literally adore david and ekin who's first oh i don't know actually i don't know who's gonna make to the final to predict but anyway love you guys so much send me a dm with any any ideas for the pod, any weekly debate ideas. Keep the dilemmas and confessions especially.

Keep them coming in. Very important. We need them all. All right, guys. Love you so much. Have the best week ever. I'll see you on Friday. And I'm going to do a bonus episode this week as well.

So I'll see you on Sunday as well. I think I'll probably do the Assumptions About Me voice note edition. So check out Instagram at Lear on the line make sure you're following so you can get them sent in or just send them into me now actually just send me a voice note of your assumptions about me um I was about to say be as brutal as you want but we all know I'm a sensitive Sally so you know with caution be brutal how about that oh god I'm to regret that in the morning. All right, guys, thanks for being so amazing. Thank you for all your love. Thank you to everyone

that sends me a nice DM. Thank you to everyone that just listens to this. Thank you to everyone who follows my TikTok, my Instagram, follows this. Actually, if you listen on Spotify, can you just check if you even follow? Because I realized I wasn't following like my favorite podcast accounts and you have to hit the bell button make sure the bell's green and then it gets you get notification being like new from there on the line so yeah I love you guys you're absolutely amazing smash the week out do amazing things make good choices or bad choices and then just write me a confession what you did um don't text your ex text me instead all right i'll see

you on friday i love you