Leah on the Line - 30: Do men play hard to get or are they just not interested? feat. voice notes from the GUYS!

Episode Date: August 15, 2022

Hey guys! I absolutely loved this episode, I think it's one of my favourites so far. It was so fun to get the boy's opinions on this one, thank you so much to everybody that gave advice. I love you listeners so much! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's getting closer to midnight i'm trying to get closer to you hey everyone who liked the intro this week let's hear it one more time it's getting closer to midnight i'm trying to get closer to you I'm trying to get closer to you. Shout out Rosalyn for the intro this week. One of you guys sent me a DM of this. I'm assuming you were out drunk, saying that your friend was singing it all night and it was in your head

and you asked me to play it at the beginning of this week and I told you I would. I said, babes, I'm playing it at the next ep. So shout out to you, babes. Who wants I'm playing it at the next ep so shout out to you babes who wants to be on the next intro next week send me send me your vocals hi everyone welcome back it's Tuesday my favorite episodes I absolutely love Tuesdays they make me feel so happy I'm really actually excited for this week I've got a fantastic episode and stuff for you so let me just give you a little heads up what i've got going on um so i obviously every now and then thanks to one of you gorgeous listeners gave me this idea

i pop i pop one of the dilemmas up my story and i ask you guys for your advice and your opinions for the certain listener who sent in the dilemma well one of the dilemmas this week was surrounding the idea like, is this guy paying hard to get? Or is he just not interested? What do I do? And I was like, I really don't fucking know how boys brains work. You know, men are on Mars, women are on Venus. So I, I said on my story, this is the dilemma, ask your boyfriends to give us their opinion and insights because I didn't really know so we'll get to that later we've got some voice notes from the boys we've got some dms from the boys from your

bfs partners fiancés husbands whatever but we'll get to that later but first of all let's have a little catch up how are you miss you so much how was your weekend I haven't done a bonus episode in a while have I I really need to do that how are you guys I miss you guys so much what are your thoughts on the um confessions because I'm pretty sure I'm I'm gonna do next week as the last week of confessions I feel like we've seen their days you know they've seen their days I mean because at this point they're all like sort of the same and at the end of the day like I can only read so much of the same stuff and I can only talk about poo so often do you know what I mean before this podcast just becomes poo on the line so what is that noise can you guys hear that there's a weird noise in my ear can you guys hear

that what is going on here what is going on anyway so yeah um I haven't decided what I'm going to replace it with I will definitely still be here every Friday a lot of you guys were like let's just like have a nice personal episode like switch it up every week do whatever you want um but then one of you was like maybe you can just do a somebody said to do like a make or break episode so it's like you send in your dilemmas and I say walk away or stay but then again I feel like that will get very same same so it's difficult you know so let me know what you guys think um but we don't have to make a decision yet you know we can just keep the Fridays pretty casual until we come up with a new idea

together so don't stress don't panic okay I'm still gonna be here on Fridays so let's get into the weekly debate love you guys so much hope you've had a great weekend um the weekly debate this week is do you trust people 100% until they break it or do you make them earn it so before we dive in I'm gonna give my thoughts on this so I've always been a trusting person um I've always just like to assume the best from people until you show me otherwise so I'm definitely on the side of like I trust you until I get the impression that you're gonna break my heart or you're gonna stab me in the back you know if it comes to friendships relationships whatever I'm always sort of the same like I always just assume people are good

until they show me that they're not and then once you show me that you're not i will never trust you again until unless you put in some serious fucking work like this is the thing say like it comes to a friendship situation if i've told you a piece of information that was crucially private right and then i find out that you've transferred that information over to another person i'm not talking to you about shit ever again like I am I just know that I'm not necessarily cutting you off and deciding you know I don't want you in my life but I'm keeping you at arm's length and I know she's a mate she's not a friend she's a mate I can't trust her I can't tell her certain shit do you know what I mean or like in a relationship if you've lied to me my back is up for a long fucking time like if you lie to me and I find out that you've lied I absolutely cannot bear lies so if you've lied to me it's

massive and I it honestly depends how I feel about you like part of me would just be like do you know what fuck it off mate you're a liar you're not an honest person that's very important to me I can't trust you I don't believe a fucking word you say or if I'm really like I really want it to work then I'll be like look if you're willing to put in the fucking shift that you're gonna have to put in now you may be able to get my trust back but at this point you're not a good person in my eyes do you know what I mean so yeah I'm definitely uh I trust you until you show me you can't I mean show show me that I can't. But let's see what you guys are saying. I feel like it is a bit of a situational question

because obviously like if it comes to a relationship, it depends. If I've been cheated on in the past, I'm probably not going to trust people the same as if I, if I hadn't been, you know, or if, if I'm getting to know someone and they're a cheater or they've been a cheater, I'm not going to trust you the same. Do you know what I mean? So it is situational, but I just thought let's keep it vague and get your guys' experience and opinions on it. Somebody said, not anymore. My friend chose her boyfriend over me and now I trust no one. See, this is the thing. Sometimes when somebody breaks your trust, that can affect your relationship with other people in your life, like not just that person. That's why it's so shit someone says always make them earn it um i trust people until they

break it try not to judge books by their covers yeah for sure i trust people about 70 until they do something to swing me either way yeah i feel like that's yeah to be fair when i say i trust people i'm not i'm not necessarily 100 like i might get a little bit of a red flag but I'll still not doubt you and also I'm the kind of person that like I'm not just going to believe words if somebody's going to come to me of information if there's no receipts I'm okay with it do you know what I mean like maybe that's really naive and gullible of me but I I've seen in the past where people will come to you and be like oh this person's done this and then you're like well just show me the screenshots or like just give me the fucking receipts and then they can't and then it turns out it was all fucking bullshit do you know

what i mean so yeah tricky one sticky one still oh gross it um someone says have them earn it fell victim to being betrayed early on when i gave 100% from the get-go. Trust until they break it, but also depends on their history if they've cheated before. Yeah, for sure. Trust them 100% and every time it hits me in the face. Oh, no, girl. I don't trust anybody from the beginning. They have to earn it over time, have to they have to earn it over time definitely

um they have to earn it i'm always suspicious and never want to fully trust people straight away um i trust people until they break it earn it definitely i trust them 100 i usually end up heartbroken jesus that's so shit i trust until it's broken what if it's never tested you wouldn't trust the closest people to you huh i don't get it i will trust people until they give me a reason not to but once they break that is on them yeah but then it does come down to this is sort of another debate it does come down to like do you think people can just make mistakes once you know do you think people can make mistakes because then it's like i don't fucking trust you anymore you've ruined everything do you know what i mean um depends on past

experiences uh agree i do agree 100 until they give me a reason not to i trust them unless they prove otherwise life is too short to overthink so live your life I think that's my mentality as well like I'm very like look I can't actually be bothered to be so fucking suspicious of people I'd rather just be relaxed and if it fucking just hits me in the face six months later then it hits me in the face and that just sounds like a future Leah problem do you know what I mean I don't want to destroy my piece of today you know like they say worrying is just putting yourself through something twice right I'm not going to sit here and be like oh she's going to be a really shit friend to me or he's going to be a terrible boyfriend or he's

going to cheat on me or she's going to stab me in the back or like this blah blah blah because a it might never happen and then you've just put yourself through that shit for nothing and then b even when it does happen it still happens whether you like had all this peace before or if you just spent the whole time stressing that it was going to happen isn't going to change if it's going to happen or not so i just small tell myself like well whatever happens i'll get through it and i am strong enough and i i am capable do you know what i mean I've been reading a book recently I've read it before but I picked it up well I actually picked it up like a year ago and I didn't actually read it until recently for the second time I've just started it again it's called feel the fear and do

it anyway I absolutely love that book I love that quote my mum always said that to me from like a teenager she's always said that to me feel the fear and do it anyway when it comes to like moving out when I went to uni and that was really overwhelming and scary. When it comes to auditions, when it comes to anything in the world that is scary for you, she's just like, if you can't get over the fear, then just do it scared. And I love that. This is off topic, but just thought you guys might like to hear that. I recommend that book if anybody struggles with that. I think you get the vibe quickly if they're if they're trustworthy trust them until they give you a reason not to trust them until they give you a reason not to

it's something I live by once it's broken that's it I trust 100% right away but break it and never again I wouldn't I it would take a lot to earn it back by the way love you love you too I trust people so they give me a reason not to but if I hear rumors I keep my guard up see this is the thing I have been in a situation where I had dms and they were like do not go there do not go there it's going to end badly and I was like no like it's I'm gonna be different so yeah definitely outside information can have an influence but again I am probably too trusting like I'll just take what I see but then I think it's also a good thing it's a good thing at times because it's like I'm not going to let other people's noise blur what I see and what I experience and what the life that I'm willing to live because it's like what I experience with somebody might

not be what somebody else experiences with somebody like what I experienced with somebody might not be what somebody else experiences with somebody like say I had a bad experience with somebody there was absolutely no way I'm gonna go to his next girl and be like just so you know he's gonna do this to you he's gonna do that he did this to me blah blah blah because he might not and also it's none of my fucking business do you know what I mean so yeah I definitely think that can be tricky to trust people when you get outside information but I always try to just take take what was it you just take what you see something about that give take what you take what you see something about that you guys know what i mean you're all screaming it's annoying me um oh whatever whatever everyone all right whatever but you know what i

mean okay i'm gonna stop waffling because we're 11 almost 12 minutes in and i went on the weekly debate way too long last time so let's dive in to this first dilemma where i've got your your boyfriends and partners and some of our male listeners response so let me read out the dilemma for you guys it says how do i respond to slow replies i'm interested in this guy but he's popular and older by two years i fancied him for years and he liked my story and we ended up dming but he takes two to three days to reply my mate gives me tough love and tells me he's a waste of my time but i'm addicted to the chase and it makes me want him more how do i switch this around and take the control as right now i feel as though this i feel as though he is what oh he is in control okay how do i switch this around and

take control as right now i feel like he is i take ages to respond back but he takes even longer it just feels like a game and i'm not sure whether to ignore it or reply faster is he just not interested or is it playing hard to get please give me a wake-up call oh i don't want to waste my time or get hurt but i find him so attractive it's making me go crazy so personally when i read this initially my response was he's just not into you because in my experience guys don't play hard to get if they want something they make sure you know about it you know if they want you they're like i fucking want you will you go out on a date with me love or if they fancy you they make it clear like just in my experience i've never met a guy

that's played hard to get if then if they're not interested in me i know about it do you know what i mean so when i first read it i was like nah he's not interested i also thought he's seeing someone else you know you're possibly the side piece sorry to be brutal there but this was my thoughts and i was like nah like she's the side piece two to three days that i'm sorry that is a statement saying you're a prick and we're not gonna let someone take us for a prick no way yeah that is literally a statement saying you're a prick two to three days what the hell what are you doing are you awake for two to three days yes do you own your phone in two to three days yes so why am i not getting a response because you're a prick because you're not interested in me why

are you messaging me every two to three days because you're bored because whoever you're not talking to is probably not replying to you and you need some attention because you're a narcissistic little prick that was my thoughts okay that was my initial thought process um but after speaking to you guys and asking you to get your partner's responses i'm not sure i'm a bit on the fence i'm still swaying towards my original idea my original impression but let's read out some of your guys responses so we have my boyfriend said I think he is oblivious to the entire situation and doesn't even think about it he said she needs to make it clear her thoughts on how she feels about him this is also coming from us being in exactly the same beginning situation he's two

years older than me and I always secretly fancied him he always felt the same and never acted on it until i made my feelings towards him obvious so i didn't think about that i didn't actually consider that he might not actually know if you're in team especially because you said like you're taking long to reply as well like he might not actually know so that is a great that is a great way of thinking about it okay next one um somebody says this isn't her partner's response this is just her opinion so one of the gals has said if he wanted to he would simple if he was interested he'd be replying straight away not making you wait it's known that boys are always the ones that are interested first and go 100 miles an hour and then normally lose feelings

quicker later on at the beginning the boys are obsessed he is not interested gal move on now i will say that you know you do have a good point there because like it does happen done it where blokes are just obsessed in the beginning and then it fucking switches done it but you know that's not that's not all the time so that's just another option someone says okay my boyfriend said not interested he probably only replies when he's bored not because he's playing hard to get. She should initiate hanging out in person to see if there's something worth pursuing or a dead end. Okay, back that. You know, let's just fucking go out. Let's just see if we actually have anything between us in person because this is long. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's no more fucking around, Simon. I need to know. Someone says,

my boyfriend is a savage and says he seems like he's playing hard to get but my boyfriend is also asking if they see one another a lot or go on dates etc he wants to know more deets lol he's saying if he was interested he would be messaging and seeing how how your day is or at least if you can't message at the end of the day have a video call or call her to see how how she's got on hope this helps i asked my fiance and he said he thinks she should talk to him in person to get a better idea of how he feels he thinks she should just go for it and ask if he wants to go out if he messages if he messes her about then see ya personally coming from a girl's perspective you never know how someone is feeling based on messages

he may just genuinely be shit at replying i think the only way to find out is to take a leap and ask him if he wants to go out for example for a drink and see what he says if he messes you about then he doesn't deserve you and don't give him the time of day life's too short not to shoot your shot it doesn't always have to be the guy that asks you out so just go for it the worst that can happen is he says no then that's his loss i love that from you and the boy like i back that actually fiance sorry i back that um let's see my boyfriend okay we've got a text we've got a screenshot from her text she sent him the screenshot he says I don't know baby could be a bit of both maybe he's just got his attention elsewhere at the moment and she's just a backup

she says all harsh but I agree I'd suck you off if you'd taken two to three days to reply to me yeah damn right yeah you know what that was my initial thought I was like there's someone else there especially because she said that he's popular and popular guys like tend to like attention don't they that's why they're popular so I would only assume again I'm assuming that there might be somebody else that he's talking to um but who knows um I personally don't play hard to get if i'm genuinely interested in someone i'll want to reply asap i think if someone has taken days to reply to you they're either not interested or not interested romantically and just want to

shag um he's not interested and he's enjoying the attention from her side he's currently living in her head rent free so if the time comes and he gets a bit horny or something he's she's still there she's at the back of a cupboard emergency ration okay fucking brutal and rude way to put things but thanks for the opinion jesus christ um hayley i love you in the pod here's my boyfriend's reply oh my god i love you i don't know any boys that play hard to get i'm not saying there aren't any guys who do but i don't know any if i like to go and wanted to get with her i would put in the effort and make my intentions clear p.s my boyfriend also drinks glasses of milk so take this opinion opinion with a pinch of salt okay ew um let's have a look what else do we have my boyfriend said they don't all think the same so it's hard to tell okay great point but for him he thinks

it's a no especially as he's popular he props has many girls on him at the same time so red flag yeah my other half says it depends on the type of person he is from the get-go he could be keeping it casual so he doesn't come across too keen and put her off or he could be playing a game the fact that he's even responding we think shows some interest as he wouldn't waste his time and messaging someone he wasn't interested in maybe continue messaging for a bit and bite the bullet and ask him out for a drink. I think ask him out, I really do. My boyfriend thinks he's playing hard to get

as if he wasn't interested, he wouldn't reply at all. But I personally think it's a waste of time. There'll be someone out there who will like you enough to not play games. The chase is fun, but being loved is even better. Get yourself someone who appreciates you, girl. Oh, I love that. And I back that 1 million percent.

I'm with her on that one, you know. Now let's listen to some voice notes we've got. Okay, let's start with this one. Hey, Leah. So I'm just going to ask Owen, who is my fiancé, what he thinks about this. So he's read the message from the girl.

And do you understand the question? I believe so, yes. So do you guys play hard to get, or is he just not interested? And he's taken, like, two to three days. Yeah, no, he's taken the piss. He's either not interested or he's talking to other people. Because two to three, there is no excuse for taking two to three. Even if you lived in Australia, like, in a different time zone, two to three days is taking the piss. There is no reasonable for taking two to three. Even if you lived in Australia, like in a different time zone,

two to three days is taking the piss. There is no reasonable excuse for that. It's easy to not be interested in talking to bare people at once. OK, so what should she do? If she's this madly in love with a guy that, quite frankly, barely knows she exists, she either throws herself out there and tells him how she feels, or she just stops making contact and then there's two there's two outcomes he doesn't reply so she loses nothing because she doesn't embarrass

herself and put her feelings out there he just doesn't reply and she knows where she stands or three or four days go by he replies and she's like oh actually he does like me because he takes me back first but it depends what the text back first is yeah if he just puts hi i'd be sacking that straight off like if she just doesn't respond for four days and then he takes back saying hi i'd fucking pile that off oh okay there we have it a boy's opinion thank you i mean we had the c-bomb at the end so i'm gonna have to blank that word out. But yeah, you know, great advice and I do back it. Let's listen to another one.

Here we go. Hello, Lear on the line and all you listeners. I thought I'd share a male's perspective on this topic, this issue of your listener, and just start by saying men do not play hard to get. It's as simple as that. That's a statement. Two, three days, and you're telling me that man has not been on his phone for two, three days. Do you know what I mean?

What does he do? Read books? Maybe. I don't think so. Who knows? He's on his phone, choosing not to reply to you, and it is simply for the reason of he's entertaining other people. Oof. Or he's with someone else.

Oof. Physically, and he can't look at his phone. Jesus. I would just read the signs, listen to your friend, listen to Leah. I'm sure she's got some good advice, because she always does. Yeah, you bet I do. And go misbehave somewhere else because he'll want it back. Misbehave?

Because you shouldn't be chasing. It should be the other way around. Yeah, he's definitely elsewhere. Wow. I mean, you guys seem to be quite sure of your opinions, don't you? You know, that's a statement and a half, isn't it? Okay, we've got another one here. let's see if you guys recognize this voice oh it's a tricky situation it is it's bloody tricky so um coming from the boy a boy who uh i used to do this quite a lot uh i reckon he's just busy like i leave people for fucking months all right all

right you fucking legend i um yeah if it was me i would be leaving it just because like you forget and you're not that he's not that interested otherwise he would be like snapping back yeah like it is what it is but he would have sex with you if you're good looking but he's not um he's not looking for a relationship ting so you're kind of wasting your time but if you want to fuck him then do it do you know what i mean but uh yeah he i feel like don't if you reply fast it's the worst thing you do so just play him at his game and reply really late as well like as if you reply fast it's the worst thing you do so just play him at his game and reply really late as well like as if you don't care and put boys on your story and put boys on your story okay so we

have inside information that putting boys on your story actually bothers guys that was cole anderson the really bad tiktoker makes gcse drama videos for a living pathetic jacob thank you carl for oh my god i swear to god if my microphone cuts out one more time in this episode um what i was trying to say was thank you for carl for your response um yeah i mean it's a great point that he is like semi-interested clearly because he's replying but probably not in the way that we want unless you do just want to have sex with him which you know but then like there's a lot of guys that responded and said that that may not be the case so i think i'm going to

start waffling on about this fucking dilemma now and say let's just ask him out maybe although cole says don't cole says take ages to reply and put boys in your story but that just sounds like a fucking drama doesn't it who's got time for that i can't bothered listen i think make a choice you're either going to play the game take long to reply go maybe no contact put boys in your story see if we get a reaction or we're just going to ask him straight and go look are you getting out there do you know what i mean do you want to go out with me yes or fucking no sweetheart so yeah good luck with that babes keep us all updated thank you so much to all the boys for getting involved we should definitely do this again sometime

um let's get into a new dilemma i love you guys okay let's do this hey leah apologies for the long message but i hope you can share some of your wise words and guidance on this one so me and my best friend have been practically joint at the hip for as long as i can remember there's a month between our birthdays and we live around the corner from one another we've been so close our entire lives i see her as my sister love it however for the past two years she's completely blanked me on my birthday i'm not expecting anything huge from her literally just a text is that too much to ask for absolutely fucking not in the past she's spammed her instagram story with pictures of us wrote a huge post on my facebook honestly just flooded my socials and even used to make plans for the two of us

i understand covid could be a reason for the plans etc but to not even drop me a message i just find it strange yeah that is bizarre to me she also has a little boy whose birthday is only a couple of days after mine last year i dropped off a card and lots of presents i'd spent over 100 pound with her sister i know he received his gifts as i saw photos of him with them all on a birthday post but i never received a thank you from susan not even for not even for the card as a bare minimum i was furious i don't blame you honestly that's rude what should i do in this situation i don't want to sound petty about being ignored on my birthday but i'm'm quite hurt by it. Especially now it's

been two years in a row. Do I even bother sending gifts for her son again? Thank you in advance. Love you. Bye. Love you too. Um, you have every fucking right to feel the way you do. That is some shady shit. Some shady shit shit because not saying thanks for you getting her son presents a card alone deserves a thank you it deserves some recognition some acknowledgement thank you that was really kind thank you so much rude that is very insulting to to not even say thanks for getting your son getting her son a card let alone spending 100 pound in presents obviously money isn't what's what matters but you know it's a it's it's a very kind thing to do and she should acknowledge that um and not message you on your birthday what the

fuck you know my birthday is i've known you almost my whole life hun do you know i mean it's a month after yours darling you know when it is i think there's something going on there that's not you're not just ignorant are you like you're not just you haven't just got brain fog oh sorry I forget every fucking year do you know what I mean I would say something personally I would approach that and be like look you're my best friend I bloody adore you and I'm getting quite upset thinking why does she not appreciate what I'm doing for her why does she not acknowledge me on my birthday why do I not even get a happy birthday message from my best friend and I think you have every right to say obviously I always say this whenever I recommend um approaching a situation having a conversation I always recommend don't

go in on the attack because it can just go west. Always go in gentle, calm, sensitive. You know, there could be a very valid excuse. I don't know what the hell it could be, to be honest, but there could be, you know, she's a new mum by the sounds of it, which can be very overwhelming. It can completely take up your mind. Maybe she genuinely is so consumed by just being a mum, but then at the same time she she would then if it if that was the case you'd think that a few days later she'd go oh my god i'm so sorry just realized i didn't even say happy birthday to you so the fact she's not saying it the fact she's not acknowledging the card and presence of her son is actually very insulting and upsetting

and i think you have every right to turn around and be like look Susan I'm really fucking upset babe I absolutely love you I thought I thought we had this beautiful friendship and I'm really not feeling love I'm really not feeling the love at the moment um so yeah um I would say something hun I really. Yeah, let me know how that goes for you. Love you so much. All right, next dilemma. Dating a PT. Oh, girl, fuck that. Honestly, fuck that. Imagine him like spotting a girl and she's like squatting or something. Nah, nah. No, I could never be me. But anyway, let's get into the dilemma. Hey, Leah, love the pod girl. You're smashing it. Thank you so much. So I just want some advice really or someone to rant to girl you're smashing it thank you so much so i just want some

advice really or someone to rant to and you're our bestie so here goes you got it right girl let's go so i'm in a new relationship six months in it's going amazingly and i've completely fallen in love he makes me feel like the only girl in the world and honestly i have not had one red flag from him yes yes no i could do it honestly i love that for you he's a personal trainer and has many female clients oh god god however a couple of the girls he trains makes me kind of uncomfortable i completely trust him he's never once given me a reason not to and is completely open with his phone so he doesn't worry me the girls are what worries me so the girls in question are very good friends they don't train together separate sessions and they're both in long they're both in long-term

relationships however they both open up to my boyfriend and tell him how they're not happy with their partners and all their relationship problems like i get he has to maintain a professional relationship with his clients but they text him occasionally about it too what the fuck he's a pt not a fucking therapist what are they doing like i said he's open with his phone so i see the messages but am i just being silly and jealous there's nothing i can do as it's as his as it's his job and it's his absolute passion but sometimes it makes me a little uncomfortable the girls are so so gorgeous and he's a 10 out of 10 so i often worry what if they make a pass on him i would love to know how you and the podcast listeners would feel about this situation, or maybe just make myself feel

better about the situation. Thanks, girl. Appreciate any advice. Love you. Bye. Right. First of all, I think that's fair, and I think a lot of girls and guys would be uncomfortable and feel a bit threatened, so I don't think kick yourself for it like definitely don't but what I will say is you've said he's so open he's so trustworthy like you know he will never do anything and that should be your focus like I always say right when I work in bars and stuff some guys I'm with are like oh like guys will hit on you every shift and I'm like not on a vain way but I'm like yeah they do like any girl that works in a bar you know you get hit on you every shift. And I'm like, not on a vain way, but I'm like, yeah, they do. Any girl that works in a bar, you know, you get hit on by guys as part of being a bartender. Do you know what I mean? And I'm like, yeah, they will. And they, and they do,

but that's irrelevant. How I respond to it is what's relevant and is, is what should matter. So your boyfriend being a PT, he's going to have girls around him that probably fancy him, but it's irrelevant. Do you know what i mean it's literally irrelevant what's relevant is how your boyfriend responds how your boyfriend feels towards you how he feels towards them that's what's relevant and you know you know how he feels towards you you know you can trust him so i think but keep your energy on that because that's all you can really do being a girlfriend of a pt cannot be fucking easy jealousy wise like I'm sure especially for a jealous person that would be bloody torture but so let alone for a normal person like your average

bloody not that being jealous isn't normal guys I'm very jealous no I'm not I'm not overly jealous I'm actually very level-headed I would actually back myself on the fact that I'm not overly jealous but obviously like no one likes the thought of their boyfriend like being around especially girls that have got a PT because they get their gym goers and they've probably got a good bod you know what I mean but think about like this you see your boyfriend as a 10 out of 10 and he's with you which means you're a 10 out of 10 babe 100% and he sees you as a 10 out of 10 he's with you and you can trust him 100% like you said and that should be your focus so So I totally get it, but I would also just keep reminding yourself how much you can actually trust your boyfriend,

because he's a great guy by the sounds of things, and you've got something really amazing, so I would really hold on to that. I love you so much. Okay, let's get into it. Hey Leah, I love you on the podcast podcast you seem like the most genuine girl in the world and i never leave you a bad raiding girl oh my god i love you anyway i'm finding myself in quite the dilemma right now basically i have the biggest teen girl crush on this boy who i've got mutual friends with he's so fit and we complement each other's personalities so well him being quite reserved and me being quite open and outgoing my best friend is quite is quite close friends with him but she could never see him as anything more than that she's told me this so many

times but he's made it very clear that he fancies her i've told her about my little thing of him and she supports it and wants it for us so bad i love her we've met up to be able to get closer to him and we text quite a lot which is really good combo but whenever we meet up he just seems so into her and i don't know what to do i've honestly not felt so strongly about a boy in a long time and i don't want to miss out on what could be something good but i don't want to be a second option i need advice give it to me brutally i need to hear it anywho keep being julia i love you loads and loads i love you too um this is tricky because it's like you fancy him but he fancies your friend that's shit i mean luckily for you she's not into him luckily hopefully hopefully she means that i mean i

can't see why she would be setting her best mate up with the guy she likes so i can i can go ahead and say that she's probably being truthful there but for me i would just say look babe why do you want someone that doesn't want you it's's that simple. Like, there are so many boys out there that will be fancying you, admiring you, think you're so funny, think you're so attractive, think you're so sexy, think you're, like, smart, intelligent, good company. Like, do you know what I mean? So I think don't pick the guy that's giving you nothing. Like, I get it. You fancy him. I get it you fancy him I get it you think your personalities are really really good together but at the end of the day why would you want to be

with someone that doesn't want to be with you like I remember my Matthew and he said Michael Hussey Matthew Hussey somebody sent in a TikTok question and it said this guy I really like this guy but he doesn't like me how do I make him want to be with me or something like that and he was like why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you and this is a classic situation okay why would you why do you want him like what is it about him that you want to convince him to like you so bad is it a self-esteem thing is it like I'm not going to feel good about myself unless this guy likes me because I've been there before and trust me you're never going to feel good like you know even when they turn around and go yeah let's give it a go you're always going to think oh but you secretly actually wanted to be a parent instead of me or are you just with me because you couldn't

get the first choice do you know what I mean so personally my advice to you is babe you deserve someone that's sure about you someone that gives you that attention somebody that to you is babe you deserve someone that's sure about you someone that gives you that attention somebody that is actually mad about you um because for whatever reason this guy isn't and that's absolutely fine you know he fancies your mate she doesn't fancy him so unlucky for you son you're not getting either of us you're not coming in so i don't know like i would say just try and detach from it a little bit and just you know see him as a bit of a friend and see if you can hold that friendship there and keep it on a friendship level and then explore relationships with other guys um and connections with other guys and you

never know he might fall for you one day and if if he does brilliant we'll explore it but you can't make someone feel a certain way towards you if they don't and if they don't it's not a fucking problem do you know what I mean I don't need every guy they don't. And if they don't, it's not a fucking problem. Do you know what I mean? I don't need every guy that I like to like me back. Do we? No. It's fine.

You don't like me. You're fucking lost, darling. So, yeah, personally, I would just say, look, babe, you deserve better. He ain't it. He ain't all that. Do you know what I mean? I think it is that, like, you want what you can't have. And he doesn't want you, so you want him. It's the chase maybe if he had it on a plate and he was admiring you and

obsessed with you you might not actually want him that bad so yeah I'm not sure but that's my opinion on it I'm not necessarily giving great advice but that's just my opinion on it you just deserve someone that wants you and is sure about you um okay next dilemma feeling lost and confused hi leah at first i just want to say that i love you and the podcast i look forward to every episode oh my god thank you so much i love you so i have a dilemma i'm hoping you can help me with i'm not sure if you've spoken about this sort of thing before but i need some advice it's only a short one but recently i've just been feeling a bit down and not myself I feel quite lonely and I don't know how to move past this all of my friends have started seeing people or in long-term relationships and are all busy a lot of the time I split up with my ex

boyfriend around nine months ago I'm fully over it and would be interested in getting to know new people but everyone I meet seems to just want a bit of fun when that's really not what I'm like I'm a very relationshipy person I don't mind being single but when everyone around me seems to have their person and are just busy majority of the time I tend to be by myself a lot and overthink about this sort of thing and end up feeling really lonely how do I stop this feeling and what can I do to help myself thank you so much love you bye okay I've been there listen I've been there um But funnily enough, I was actually in a relationship and I felt like this. So don't think that having someone by your side makes you less lonely because it doesn't. I was at my loneliest when I had a boyfriend and lived with him and I was so lonely.

So don't think that that's because you're single. Separate it from whether you're in a relationship or not, you know, like you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely so what i would say to you is really give yourself some love and what whatever you want from a relationship that you think is going to take away this feeling give it to yourself so whether that be dates whether it be just quality time whether that be dates, whether it be just quality time, whether it be gifts, like do it for yourself, show yourself that love. If you miss someone bringing you a bar of chocolate home from work, go and get a bar of chocolate and take it home and put on your favourite TV show, put on your favourite pyjamas and love it and enjoy it and love yourself. And also,

and enjoy it and love and love yourself and also if you if you just miss having someone to go to the cinema with go to the cinema doing things alone doesn't mean you're lonely you know and being lonely doesn't mean you're alone they're different being alone is okay um and also i think um basically life is like a mirror, okay? I'm going to try and sound intelligent, but you all know I'm stupid. So, I saw a TikTok, and I'm going to try and remember it, and try and deliver the same message, and I'm going to fail miserably, but wish me luck. He said something like, imagine I put a mirror in front of you, and you said, and I said to you, make that make that person wink right what would you do

you'd wink because then the reflection would wink right because it's the mirror it's your reflection if i said to you make them point what do you have to do you point yeah and if i said make them love no sorry then we took the mirror away and you're opposite a person and you want them to love you yeah I want you to love me what do we need to do we need to love ourself because life is reflection of what we're doing and how we're loving and treating ourself so I think when you're feeling like this it's really important that you love yourself respect yourself are kind to yourself are patient with yourself and show yourself that it's okay to be on your own and be proud of being on your own you know like I being on my own now like living on my own being independent it was the best thing ever I absolutely loved it and that was coming from

someone who was in a relationship and felt the loneliest I've ever felt so don't feel like you need a partner to take this feeling away you can take this feeling away I don't know necessarily what it is you have to do to do that because everyone is different but experiment with different feelings and do things and see how your body and your mental health responds to it. So, you know, a lot of people say, oh, I was really low. Then I started running. So I tried that. I fucking hate running. Makes me want to just not get out of bed every day. Like I hated it. It's not for me. All right. I hated running. Didn't work, but it worked for somebody else. Somebody said, oh,

I would do a face mask and do self,-love and a pamper session like a couple of nights a week I did that it worked for me I absolutely loved it I enjoyed it made me feel calm it made me feel safe it made me feel at peace so I think change up your routine whatever it is at the moment because it's not making you feel good try and have a look around at what it is in your life that might not be making you feel good and kick bad habits you know cut out people that aren't serving you anymore and just shower yourself and your life in love and affection and fall in love with yourself and honestly sometimes you are all you need you are the person you wake up with every day you're the person that gets you through your hardest days you're the person that's there for yourself at the end of the day every

night you're the only person that's there for you when you're crying do you know what i mean you are your biggest supporter you are your own rock and you are all you really need to get through something like this and you can and that you know the word lonely is a difficult one. And I don't think you need to feel guilty or feel ashamed or feel so down and sad that you're going through this. It's okay. And you will get through the other side and you will feel at peace with being on your own. And that is a very proud place to be. If you can be on your own and feel safe and secure and that you don't need anyone you're doing amazing so honestly just work hard on yourself love yourself um be patient with yourself be kind to yourself

and life will reflect in that way so yeah i love you um and i'm always here for you if you ever need me so all the listeners are here for you we're all here for each other i love you all right i'm gonna end the dilemmas there because i feel like a lot of people can probably relate to i feel like a lot of people can relate to a lot of the the dilemmas that we did this week so actually to be honest a lot of the dilemmas that we do are pretty relatable especially the one last week um with the being bored in the relationship i had so so many DMs being like, I could have fucking written this myself. Like this is me. So yeah, if you're feeling bored or you're feeling like you're in this perfect relationship and for some reason part of you wants to leave,

you're not bloody alone, honey. So many people messaged me last week saying that they felt the same. So don't feel bad. All right, guys, I love you so much. What should we do on Friday? Oh, wait, I've got a confessions diary to do one more. So if you want to get involved in the confession diaries, you've got three days left to get involved before the confession diaries is no more. But I really want to keep my front cover because I think it's cute even though it says confession diaries. But then it doesn't matter that they're not part of it anymore. We can still keep, maybe I should do confessions on Tuesdays, like include a couple of them like maybe two or three every at the end of every episode or something that would be fun

perhaps then yeah and then at the end of every tuesday i can be like it's time for the confession diaries maybe like a little five minute segment 10 minute segment do i mean make the episodes a little bit longer time for the confession diaries that's a brilliant idea should we do that maybe all right guys i love you so so so so much i hope you have the best week ever i will see you on friday for another confession diaries i hope you have an amazing week i hope you all feel good and happy and positive the sun has fucked off which i'm quite unhappy about but i know there's a lot of people that are happy about it so you know good for you all right I was quite enjoying the sun I was sunbathing every single day got got myself a real tan I'm going to Tenerife in October anyone going Tenerife in October just out of curiosity maybe we're going at the same time wouldn't that be fun if not you should all

book a week away in in Tenerife in October all right guys oh my god I'm out of breath all right love you guys so much thank you for listening you're the best friends in the whole world and thank you so much for all your love thank you for your messages thank you for getting involved every week it means the whole world to me also if you're not following me on tiktok at leah levain i'm about to hit 100k and i'm going to piss my pants and maybe even shit them when i hit 100k because I'm so excited. I'm so proud of myself. I know there's people listening like, oh my fucking god, get a life. I'm so proud of myself for hitting 100k on TikTok. I am. I want this to be my job. I love it so much. I've never loved

anything more. I've never loved an audience. I've never loved a group of people as much as I love you lot. Honestly, I feel like our relationship and our friendship is just next level strong these days. But anyway, thank you guys so much for listening as always send in your confessions and dilemmas to leah on the line at gmail.com or head over to at leah on the line on instagram click the link on my bio click submit here or get involved or whatever it says and it will take you to my website where you can submit anonymously whatever you want want. And yeah, that will be amazing. I can't wait to speak to you on Friday. Have the best week ever. Oh, by the way, this time next week,

by the next Tuesday episode, I'm going to be 25. My birthday's on Monday. My birthday is Monday, the 22nd of August. Everybody mark it in your diaries and no one will miss it, okay? All right, guys, I love you so much and I'll see you next week. No, I'll see you on Friday. My God, Leah, just shut up. Just go. Everyone just go, all right? All right. I love you so much and I'll see you next week. No, I'll see you on Friday. My God, Leah, just shut up. Just go.

Everyone just go. All right. All right. I love you. Bye.