Leah on the Line - 37: My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me & would you date your friend's ex?

Episode Date: October 9, 2022

Hey gorgeous! Welcome back to another episode. What an interesting debate! Would you date someone if they previously dated your friend?! The response to this one surprised me. Thank you to every single one of you for being a listener to Leah on the Line, you have no idea how much it means to me. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leah on the line happy tuesday i'm currently in the sun probably sunbathing as you listen to this, not to rub it in. Anybody else sunbathing right now? Got the headphones in, listening to Lear on the Line. I certainly won't be listening to my own voice while I sunbathe. What do I listen to when I sunbathe? I wonder what I'm listening to right now while I'm in the sun because obviously I'm talking in future tense. I'm currently sat on my bed. I need to pack. I leave tomorrow. I haven't packed. It's like half past nine. I'm having to pre-film both episodes for this week and I haven't packed. It's like half past nine. I'm having to pre-film both episodes for this week. And I haven't packed and I need to be out the door at 9am tomorrow. So I've got plenty

of time. Nobody's stressed. Who's stressed? Who cares about my packing life? You know what I mean? But anyway, I am so excited for a break, for some sun. I haven't been on holiday with my family since i was like 15 i cannot wait i'm literally so ready for it so excited so yeah i hope you guys are okay happy tuesday amazing week ahead for all of us positive vibes okay probably easy for me to say that although i am very nervous about the flight very scared about it actually but that gave me a hot flush talking about it i'm not going to speak anything bad into existence i'm going to get there safe and sound absolutely nothing to worry about do you know what I mean guys so I love you guys so much let's just get straight into this week's episode okay I hope you guys are ready to get into some dilemmas to have a fun weekly debate

I love Tuesdays. I say it every week. It's probably really annoying. But let's just dive into this week's weekly debate. It is, would you date someone if they once dated your friend? Okay. I predicted the response to be no, no, and no again. But a lot of you seem to be quite up for it. So I'm just going to go straight in and read out your responses. Somebody says, if it was years ago, maybe, but I'd probably say no, girl code, you know. Somebody says, I don't think it's that crazy if your friend is okay with it, but I personally wouldn't go there. Somebody says, I would speak to the friend before considering if they had a long relationship, then no no any guy friends girlfriends are off limits

this is from a guy by the way although in high school i may have broke this rule oh my god um okay i was obsessed with this boy when i was younger and we had a thing for two plus years and then he out the blue he got into a relationship with my friend but during this told me he had feelings for me i said no babe this is the thing because i feel like people get like pleasure out of having two friends like fight over them so like personally for me hun i would just be a bit like okay but i'll i will go back to reading out your responses but for me it's a no like a 100 no because not only does that break girl code for me but also I don't want to have sex with somebody if your penis has been in my friend's vagina like that just kind of makes me feel so uncomfortable and like what how are we supposed to all hang out like how I don't know

obviously I'm imagining like a best friend situation so let me imagine it's just like somebody I know like a friend I still would rather not because the way I think about it is like there are billions of boys out there in the world do we have to share one you know like maybe I can just find my own perhaps that's how I feel about it personally but going back to you um yes only because I have done it I have had it done to me sorry I've had it done to me by my, in quotation marks, best friends. So if they can, I can too. Oh, that's, that's a tricky one. No, I had it done to me. And despite being over the ex, it was awkward when she asked for advice all the time. Okay, so imagine your friend comes to you and she's like, oh, let's just say you were dating somebody called, I don't know, Robert.

And your friend comes to you like, I kind of have feelings for Robert. Like, would you be okay with me, like, seeing each other, with us seeing each other? I would just be like, really? Could you not find another Robert? Like, do you have to go for the one that I found or I have history with? Like, can you not? Is there no one else? Do you know what I mean? I would just be a bit like do you have to go for the one that I found or I have history with like can you not is there no one else do you know what I mean I would just be a bit like oh and also it's it's so many reasons it's like that's fucking awkward um we've had sex well you might not but let's say you had and also it's like I want to be able to leave my previous relationships or situations in the past

and you're kind of bringing it into my present life and I'd really just rather be able to move on from it peacefully like I don't want to be reminded of him you know he's in he's my past but anyway back to you guys no I don't want anybody's sloppy seconds. Yeah, there's that vibe as well. Depends how serious it was slash if they slept together. No way. Actually depends how long they dated. If they were official, then no. And depends how or why it ended. No, not even people my ex friends have dated. Loyalty still stands. Oh, ex friends. God, that confused me. If they'd gone on more than two or three dates or slept together etc then definitely not okay yeah um it depends how long ago what happened in their relationship and how they feel about it okay but this is the thing it's like some people probably

aren't gonna feel comfortable saying like i'm really uncomfortable with that like i really would rather you didn't like i feel like a lot of people would just be like yeah I mean okay because they don't want to get in the way of something they also don't want you or the other person to think that you're still like emotionally invested in them so you're like well I am over them so yeah I guess so but then also you might then dwell on that decision and be like actually I don't like it and then you then it's like but you told me it was okay so it's kind of like then they might be in their words feeling like well I can't say anything now because I said it was all right at the beginning but actually I don't really know what to say I was fucking uncomfortable with it um not in my close circle I'm in a relationship with a boy who's been

my who's been with my sister's friend oh still awkward for me though if that I just couldn't depends how serious it was if they'd only been on one or two dates then yeah and if it's if the friend is okay with it honestly no regardless of closeness would rather date someone who no one i know has been with people can try to put ideas in your head about the person and it doesn't allow you for you to just get to know them also the effect on the friendship isn't worth it especially if it's a bad ending depends on how serious they were depends on the friend um i wouldn't as i wouldn't want this done to me yeah me neither like imagine like let everybody think of an ex right now imagine your friend comes to you like is it okay if i if i start like talking

to him you'd be like well not really honestly not really because i'd really really rather that person just be in the past and also i don't know it's like well did you fancy them the whole time i was with them do you mean um i did but didn't know until a while in as they dated before i knew them both but it defo made me insecure yeah i would feel insecure as well i didn't think about that no absolutely not girl code always that's how i met my now boyfriend of six years somebody says oh my goodness depending on if my friend was okay with it but is if so then sure ouch no way one it's standard girl code two sloppy seconds is just a no thank you not a chance i'm too psycho for that um never ever that's sloppy seconds and there's a reason they're my friend's ex I mean yeah I get that but then also like just because they didn't work with your friend doesn't

mean that they're not going to work with anybody but then I still stand by the fact that like no um what have we got here okay a long one yes I currently am but I totally understand that in some circumstances that's not okay like if you treated her badly they left on bad terms she hasn't moved on etc but this is my story my friend and my boyfriend only dated for a couple of months over three years ago and are on good terms we've all been in the same friend group through college she now has a boyfriend of over two years and they are so happy together also I was fully transparent with her about my feelings and the start of our relationship so she wasn't blindsided has may have been weird for her at first but she has been supportive best friend and best boyfriend that

i've ever had okay oh great successful yeah okay um depends on three things how serious it was the friend if they cared okay when i was younger in college, yes, as long as they were on good terms. No, knowing they've been there before, nah. No guy or date is worth even potentially upsetting a friend. Plenty of fish in the sea. Yeah, that is exactly what I'm saying. Like, is it worth it? Like, there's so many. Like, is there no one else like there are so many but then also if you believe in soulmates and twin flames like what if that's your twin flame you know like i can imagine you'd meet someone and be like i've never felt a connection like it's like we've known each other all our lives and then he's like oh i dated your friend like two years ago then you're like fuck

brilliant i can see why it would be a difficult decision if that was the case. But honestly, a lot of you are saying no, but a lot of you are saying it honestly depends and you think you could do it if the friend was okay with it and how long ago it was, how it ended, why it ended, how serious it was. So yeah, I do totally, totally get it. But I still, I'm still going to stick with my my no like I really don't think I could do that personally but honestly you guys do what you want to do and I really hope it works like for the people that do that I hope your friend's okay with it and I hope you have the most beautiful incredible relationships you know of you guys but anyway amazing weekly debate I

love that we're all a bit split on that one and makes it a bit more interesting you know so who's ready for some dilemmas? Let's get into them. Okay, this one is called Help! Drama on holiday. Hey Leah, please help. I really need another perspective on this. Okay, everybody listening, we're all ears. So my boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. Everything is perfect. We live together, have a really healthy, trusting relationship with good communication. Anyways, we've never been away together on a holiday abroad, just us two. We got together during the pandemic and I have been busy studying. Okay, great. So we wanted to book a nice, relaxing week-long trip.

We decided that we wanted to go somewhere new for both of us so that it would be a fun, new experience to make new memories, i.e. let's not go somewhere where we've been before with ex-partners. Okay. We decided on a tropical location and my boyfriend helped pick the town at which we wanted to stay and I was really excited. Fast forward to the second last day of our holiday we went on a tour around the island and when the tour guide asked if anyone had been to this island before my boyfriend raised his hand. I asked why he raised his hand and he said that he'd been with his ex-partner a few years previously staying in the same little town. I tried to push it to the

back of my mind for the sake of our enjoyment of the day trip but at dinner that night I knew that it needed discussing. I brought it up really calmly and explained that I didn't really care that he'd been with his ex-partner before. I do a little bit lol but I recognize that's my insecurity not his but was more bothered by the fact that he had not told me and had gone along with it and pretended that everything was new to him too. He said that he understood why I was annoyed and that he just didn't know the right time to tell me as he did not want to ruin the excitement for me. It's left a really sour taste in my mouth and I'm overthinking everything. Like has he taken me to the same restaurants as he went to her? Were the comments about each place we visited just to show to pretend like he hadn't been there before? I'm

talking oh wow never seen a beautiful beach like this before. Am I being dramatic, feeling like he's betrayed my trust a bit? I just wish he told me before the holiday. Yes, I have been a little annoyed because we wanted to pick somewhere new for both of us, but I wouldn't have felt the same betrayal of trust as I do now. I'm being a massive sulk in Susan right now, and I'm pissed off that this has unnecessarily put a damper on the trip. Would love to know your thoughts of what you would do in this situation love you bye oh that's tough you know like i'm actually i'm not a hundred percent what what i think to this one because you said you know you want you made a point of saying let's go somewhere brand new

that we've never been before and you decide on this tropical island together right and then you said he helped pick the town um that you would stay in and it turns out that that town and it's like that's the one town he's been with his ex-girlfriend it's like all towns and all the countries in the world do you have to go for that one so I'm confused like I'm just a bit confused why he would do that because I don't think it's like a bad thing like going somewhere you've been with an ex before like you know you make new memories absolutely love it I mean let's let's start over but at the same time I just find it a bit odd, like why he why he wasn't able to just be honest with you about that. Because personally, I don't I don't see like why it would be a secret.

I'm confused because it's not even the fact that he's been there with his ex that he'd even have to mention at the beginning. He could just be like when you're talking about booking this town, he have just been like oh I have been there before so why don't we go somewhere else or he could be like I mean I have been there and it is so nice like I would I would actually love to go back and then you could have been like who did you go there with and he was like well it was with an ex and then you could decide if you were comfortable with that so I just find it all a bit odd like the fact that he was like booking it thinking oh i've been there with my ex and she doesn't even know about it like why is it a secret honey you know um i think i would approach it again like i feel like i'd want a bit more peace of mind rather than i didn't know how to tell you like i'd probably just be like back to the um holiday thing babe like what was the

reason you didn't mention to me that you've been there because that's okay that you've been there before I'm just confused like I find I find it a bit strange that you didn't tell me you'd been there before you know or like the fact that it was like a secret but honestly I wouldn't overthink it like I wouldn't be like do you take me to the same restaurants because at the end of the day doesn't matter like the restaurants thing doesn't matter you know who fucking cares he's creating new memories his ex is his ex it's not like he's sat there thinking oh my god I wish I was with her like he's with you he had an amazing holiday with you like you said that your relationship was literally perfect like you have healthy trust and relationship you

live together so I wouldn't overthink it to be honest babe I would just be like bit weird that you didn't tell me I think maybe he was thinking, oh, that was such a nice place. I'd love to go back there with Lily. I'm making up your name. I'd love to go there with Lily. And he probably felt like it would be awkward to be like, I've been there with my ex, by the way. So I get it. He probably felt a bit awkward about it. But yeah, strange. It's a bit confusing. But honestly, babes, I wouldn't overthink it. I think you're absolutely fine. I'm glad that you have this amazing perfect relationship you deserve it I love you so much next dilemma so this one is from one of our lovely male listeners it says

I actually just started following your show and it's very insightful and filled with information and knowledge that helps us out here thank you so much I love you but to the topic at hand I have something I would I would like a female perspective and opinion on I'm 33 years old an award-winning poet wow marine corpse combat veteran and I'm a father to a beautiful little four and a half year old boy my inquiry is about dating and being a single father who wants to date and wants that connection but it seems the women that are attracted to me get weird and stop talking to me when I tell them I'm a father like I really feel like I deserve love too even if I'm a father oh my god of course no doubt about that anyway I would love to hear a woman's perspective on opinion on it anyway great show and I'm locked in thanks for all you do oh my god thank you I love you

so I am so sorry that you've had this experience, first of all. Second of all, yeah, you're absolutely right. You do deserve love too. And I just think don't take it personally. Like if a girl is seeing someone and she finds out they have a kid and then they decide not to take that further, that's not because they're turned off by you or there's anything wrong with you. It just means that they don't feel like they're in a position where they want to or are able to take

that on and that is not your fault like that's not someone you want to be with because that's not going to work you know like I think I can totally respect why somebody would be like oh he has a child like I don't know if I'm the person to be with him because I don't know if I'm ready for that it's you know it's a big thing to to take on board because you're you're then responsible for two people's hearts and two people's trust and caring for people and loving people do you know what I mean you know you come as a package as you should um and I think it don't just don't take it personally I think you obviously sound like such a great guy and you will meet someone who will love that about you and will find that so attractive and so exciting. Like it's always an attractive thing. Like it's never like a turn

off, like, Ooh, he's a dad. Like, it's always like, Oh shit, that's amazing. But I don't know if I'm fucking ready for that. And that's okay. Like they're just not for you. And you're going to meet someone that's like, Oh my God, that is amazing. I love how he is with his four, his four year old boy, you know? So I just think keep dating, keep putting yourself out there as you should because like you said, you're an award-winning poet, which I think is actually very impressive. And you're going to meet someone who will be like, oh my God, he's amazing, he's a poet, he's this, he's that, he's an amazing dad.

And that's going to be the right person for you and your son to bring into your life lives and you know just try really hard I can imagine it's very difficult because you would just eventually take that personally because it just kind of feels like you're getting shut down all the time but also see it as a good thing that that's when they decide to call it quits because it's like good I'm glad it didn't get to that point where I've brought you into my life and my son's accepted you into his life and then you've decided that you're not ready for this you know I think just keeping yourself out there you will meet someone who wants to take on that role because obviously like I'm not saying like they're going to come in and be the stepmom do you know what I mean but of course you come as a package so it means that whoever is going to

commit to you has to commit to the two of you and be there for both of you and accept that that is a major part of your life. They will always come first. And you will definitely meet someone like that. So honestly, just keep putting yourself out there. Don't worry about it. Don't take it personally. You will meet someone who is going to be perfect for you and just keep going, honey. I'm proud of you. All right. Next one. Hey, Leah, love the podcast. It always just keep going, honey. I'm proud of you. All right, next one. Hey Leah, love the podcast. It always makes me feel so normal hearing I'm not the only one with a few issues. Of course, girl, we've all got issues. I've been single for four years and although I've been involved in a few situations since then, nothing has ever progressed further.

It's always the same excuses I get, like I'm not ready to come here or I want to focus on my job. Being constantly told these things by guys I get really invested in has really knocked me down and it started to make me think I'm the issue. Why can't someone commit to me? Am I doing something wrong? I'm 26 and I've never had a relationship longer than six months and it makes me feel pathetic and incapable of being with someone. Okay, so kind of similar to the last guy, with someone. Okay, so kind of similar to the last guy. It's like, just because you meet people and they decide that they can't commit to you, that is not a reflection of you or who you are. Like, you're just, I guess it's just kind of getting a bit unlucky with it. Because it's like, you will 1,000,000% find someone and it's gonna work out. But I think if you are taking it really personally,

and it's they're not really giving you a good reason for it, maybe just come away from dating for a bit, like maybe just be like, you know what, I'm just gonna focus on myself, because I think sometimes it just comes when you least expect it. And if you just take the time to be like, you know what, I don't actually need anyone. And dating people right now isn't actually making me feel any better about myself. I think that it comes when you least expect anyone. And dating people right now isn't actually making me feel any better about myself. I think that it comes when you least expect it and when you feel like you don't want it or you don't need it. So again, definitely keep reminding yourself it's not you. Like, it's not personal. You're just getting a bit unlucky in love at the moment. And, you know, your luck's

going to come in. It's not going to be like this the whole time it's not just gonna be constant failed talking stages and stuff like that eventually one of these guys are gonna come on and it's just gonna go well and it happens to all of us like we all sort of go through these phases where we're like when am I gonna meet a decent guy because I'm actually sick of it I've definitely done it I had like a whole year of everyone that was dating it turned out that they fancied me in the end and it wasn't really that they could get real deep feelings. They just sort of fancied me and wanted to sleep with me. And once they get it, they're a bit like, oh, do you know what I mean? And it's like, I took that personally for a bit. I was a bit like, oh my God, do people just think I'm sexy? Like, does no one think I'm pretty and beautiful and

kind and lovely? Why does everyone just think I'm hot oh that sounded so fucking there's no way I meant I meant like oh my god I meant like the guys that I was dating like they would just think I was sexy and hot and I wanted someone to think I was kind and funny and beautiful do you know what I mean the difference and I was taking that personally I was like am I just do I just walk around being like use me for sex but then after I just basically was like you know what I don't even care like I don't even really fancy them I don't want to be with them so I was just like I just came away from it and eventually got into a long-term relationship so I just think try really hard to remind yourself that it is not you because I can promise you now it's not you. Okay. Believe me, although it might feel like that, it's not, it really isn't. You're

just getting a bit unlucky, but your luck will change. Just make sure you're, you're focusing on yourself and loving yourself. Okay. I love you so much. Next dilemma. This one says, hi Leah. First of all, can I just say I love the podcast. I started listening from the start in August and I've just caught up. Wow, I love you. Makes my workday go so much quicker. Oh, yay. I love that. I'm glad I can do that. So on to the dilemma. This may be a bit of a long one. So sorry in advance. Never apologize. I love the long dilemmas. My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years now. We live together and recently bought a house. So all looks like it's going well. The problem is we never have sex. I'm quite a sexual person. I always have been, but he just

seems so awkward. We're 20 and 21. Wait, you bought a house and you're 20 and 21. Okay. Congratulations. I'm 25 living at home. I don't know if I mentioned, but anyway, I'm very proud of you. So we're still young, but it just makes me feel so sad and frustrated thinking about it now. The last time we had sex was about two months ago, but I just don't know why he doesn't want it. I know he isn't getting it elsewhere because he's not the type of boy to cheat. I wish I, oh God, I can't speak. I was his first everything and is so shy slash doesn't go out much. So I have nothing to worry about there, but it just makes me feel so unattractive to him. I don't have any

friends really. So I can't talk to anyone about this. You have me, you have me always. I just don't know what I can do to make him want to have sex with me. He barely kisses me either. I have to remind him I've tried to lose weight, to be more confident in myself and spring it on, but it doesn't make a difference. Okay. I'm going to continue this, but I just want to stop because again, this is very similar to the last two. It's not you. Like you don't need to change yourself. You need to lose weight. You don't need to, you don't need to do anything. Like there's nothing you can do. I just don't know what I can do to make him have sex with me. Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you. You do not need to improve anywhere. Okay. You are perfect the

way you are. Continuing on. He's quite vanilla. Ouch. As I'm the only person he's slept with and he isn't the only person I've slept with. So I know what I like, but he gets awkward when we talk about it and just replies, I don't know when I ask him what he likes or what he would like to try. I really need advice on this because I just i'm so sad about it i mean i'm buying a house with this guy sorry for being so long lol but thanks in advance love you bye okay again it's not you like i feel like i'm a broken record this week it really isn't like please never look at yourself and think what do I need to do to make my boyfriend want to have sex with me nothing honestly I cannot tell you I've been in relationships so I was like

what do I need to change to make my boyfriend want to be with me what can I change to make my boyfriend want to spend more time with me and then I look back and I think there's nothing I could have done listen it's not you I cannot stress that enough. Okay. I love you. Never feel like that. Second of all, I think there's a few things really like, first of all, I would really just talk to him. Like he's gonna have to talk about it. I think like, it's like, look, I'm not going to sit you down and be like, what do you want to do? Like you want me to lick your asshole? Like it does, you know, it doesn't need to be like that. But I think it's important that you sit him down and you're like, listen, babe, we haven't had sex in two months. And I want more than that. And I need more than

that. And I'm not saying I want you to do it for me, I'm not pressuring you, I just want to understand if there's something in the way, if there's something blocking you, you know, are you happy, is, you know, is everything okay in you, and I think there needs to be more of a conversation, because there's two people in this relationship okay and if you're unhappy and it's affecting your self-esteem you have the right to approach it and talk about it and I know you've said that you've tried to ask him like what does he like and stuff and there's if there's things he wants to try but I think you can be really raw and just be like look it's really I'm really starting to take it personally and I'm it's really starting to affect my self-esteem. I'm just thinking, does my boyfriend fancy me? And hopefully he can give

you a bit of reassurance. Hopefully just putting him in the spotlight like that might make him feel like he can talk about these things and then might make it feel less of an awkward subject you know what I mean also on the flip side of that I would ask yourself if you know this isn't going to change and this is just how much he would like to have sex and he's just not a very sexual person you know maybe he'll maybe if you do have this conversation and he's like look I'm so attracted to you I think you're absolutely perfect but I'm just not a very sexually active person. I'm not really that horny. And you can then have to decide, I think, if that's just something you're willing to accept, because obviously, especially with sex, it should never come out of pressure. So we will never and we cannot pressure this guy into having more sex

with you. And that's never an option you know the only thing I would ever suggest is to just talk about it and try to understand and get on the same page about it so that he can reassure you in terms of your self-esteem but then I think you need to ask yourself if this is something you're willing to accept and just be like you know what I've got an amazing relationship I love him I want to be with him and I'll just have to adjust to you know not having very frequent sex and that's that's what it's going to be like or you'll have to decide you know what I need more from my relationship you are amazing to me you are perfect to me but there is something missing for me. You know, it's very difficult.

But I personally think sex can be a big thing in a lot of relationships. You know, not for everyone. A lot of people are just happy with their sex life being less frequent, like he might be. But if you're not, that's also okay. And, you know, I think need to ask him if there's anything bothering him anything you can do make sure that you're on the same page and if it's something that he's like look I really can't it's nothing's holding me back you know it's just it's the way I am it's the way it's what it's what I'm happy and comfortable with then that's something you

need to weigh up and be like you know what I think I need more from perhaps somebody else I don't know um but whatever you decide to do has to come from you and no one else um so I think definitely just have a really difficult conversation because it's going to be difficult like it is um but I think you can do it I think you're strong enough and brave enough to just have that really uncomfortable chat and lay it out there you know be like look I love you I'm please don't please don't feel attacked I just really want to be able to talk to you about how I'm feeling right now I'm really hoping you can give me a bit of reassurance um and yeah I think go from there just be gentle because it's such a it's such a difficult topic especially with someone who like how you're describing him who's like shy um

and he lost his virginity to you and stuff so sex to him might be an uncomfortable topic and he might not be really comfortable talking about it get him to listen to leo on the line it might make it a bit more of a normal convo we talk about it we talk about it all over here but yeah honestly you have the strength and i love you keep me updated have a chat with him like i said be gentle and then have a chat with yourself um and you've got this like you absolutely have this babe just keep us all updated and don't stress okay you're amazing i love you so much okay let's wrap up those um dilemmas I feel like they were all actually a little bit similar this week they were all related to

like taking things personally and getting rejected and stuff so I'm really sorry if this one felt a bit sad this week I love you guys I'm in the sun right now I'm feeling great I mean I'm not right now but I will be I'm so excited honestly I'm so excited I need to pack I'm getting stressed okay I loved the dilemmas this week I hope you're all okay I love you so much you can always talk to me you always have a friend in me send me a message or an email or a dm or a fax whatever whenever you want I'm always there I love you guys so. Now let's get into the confession diary. Okay, we have some funny confessions this week. All right. I'm just going to kick it straight off of this one. I slept with a Somerset farmer and got thrush and a UTI.

He then texted me a few weeks later saying he tested positive for gonorrhea. Somerset boys are so unclean. Thankfully, he didn't give it to me. It was from a girl he slept with after me. I'm going to vouch for the Somerset boys right now and say they're not all the same. I actually don't think I've ever slept with someone from Somerset. Oh, I have. I have actually. But anyway, they're not all unclean. Okay. Let's not give my, my county that reputation. All right. But I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm also very glad that you didn't get gonorrhea, babe. Do you know what I mean? That could have been bad. Okay. Next confession is, hi Leah. Love you. Love you too. too growing up I used to get bullied and my mum gave me the advice go and pay them back treat people how they treat you so I did the bully

would push me over and my tiny little self would get up and push her right back and to my amazement the bullying stopped amazing good for you at that point i was like wow great life hack mom i took this mentally into every aspect of my life my level of pettiness was at 100 and that didn't stop at day in so back in my young years of day in i would give out a disclaimer to the guys i'm about to date and i would tell them word for word if you ever cheat on me and want me to forgive you and move forward i would have to do the same whether or not they believed me we would move forward in the relationship happily in the honeymoon phase until that terrible day came that would tear my heart up into a million pieces when i found out that they cheated on me this would send me in a rage

i like to call petty red but i would never show them how angry i am when i would confront them they would come with their apologies and flowers asking me to oh my god asking me to forgive them god what just happened to me I would act calm and say okay this is when petty rage came into full force they did the one thing I told them not to do and asked me to forgive them this was my cue to go and treat them like they treated me. I mean, I gave them a disclaimer after all. I'm super loyal and attractive. Oh my goodness, girl. When men would approach me, I would turn them down in a heartbeat. After all, I had my man and I loved him. However, when the opportunity of attention from the other sex came for him he couldn't resist so today nor

can i so i would calmly tell them that i cheated on him even though i didn't in vivid detail until they didn't want to hear no more okay so you didn't actually cheat you would just talk to them and pretend that you did got ya their reaction would be crying and moaning in agony oh my god this is torture as if i had told them their dog died one of them was even throwing up oh okay this is actually a form of torture but with all of them their grief would turn to anger and that's when the slut shaming would start that's when i would stop them in their tracks and remind them of the disclaimer and their past discretions they would look at me wide-eyed and stunned i would have been happy to carry on in the relationship

knowing that he felt the pain they also caused me but they could never hack it sigh the double standard right so they're cheating on you and you're saying okay fine i forgive you you get him back well you fake getting him back and then he's like i can't be with you anymore interesting now that i'm older and wiser i've learned to leave relationships as soon as they cheat because the person if they truly cared for you would never hurt you like that because they really wouldn't want it done to them i did it so you never have to ladies leave them if they treat if they cheat i just said treat oh my god that is actually a form of torture that i'm a bit shook by that one i mean it's kind of evil but then kind of fair at the same time do you know what I mean like I'm not mad at you for it okay next one I have an embarrassing confession

when I was younger it was Christmas Eve and I woke up dying for a wee but I heard Santa walking around upstairs so I knew I couldn't go across the bathroom because if I saw him I wouldn't get presents so instead I had a towel in my room that I peed on because I had no other option and I just put oh my god oh why is that so cute like I know it's I know it's not cute like a kid is just pissed on a towel but then I find it so sweet like I actually find that so sweet like if my niece on Christmas day was like Leah I weed on the towel last night because I heard Santa and I really needed a wee and I didn't want to get up and go to the toilet I would have honestly I would have been like oh darling honestly it actually melted my heart when I read it like it's sweet

like why is that cute do you know what I mean like imagine a little kid like oh my god I'm gonna wee myself like she probably held it in for so long and she's like I'm gonna wee myself I'm gonna wee myself then she hears Santa she's like i'm gonna have to wee on that towel i can't hold it i mean it was smart you weed in the towel you shouldn't wee on your bed oh so sweet so sweet okay next one i slept with my ex-boyfriend's best friend and my ex still doesn't know four years on he said if he found out i ever slept with him he's never going to speak to either of us again i don't care though oh my god i don't care though why is that just making me die i don't care though honestly i i am not surprised by that because i know that guys friends are just snakes with exes like seriously okay last one i've kissed a guy at

work who's in an eight-year relationship no one knows at work and it's fun i don't even know what to say to you girl i mean brutal to be honest and i hope i hope you never go near my boyfriend to be honest so scary like honestly that shit scares me oh honestly okay great confessions guys really loving it keep making these crazy interesting questionable decisions and keep sending me the emails because it's really great content okay let's wrap up the episode all right oh my god guys what a fun episode i feel like it was a bit sad actually i feel quite bad because i probably could have included something a bit more light-hearted since i was all like oh my god no one wants to be with me what do i do and i'm sorry about that but you know what sometimes we need to hear that okay and i hope

if anybody else is going through that which i know there's probably a load of us because we all go through it once or twice listen do not take rejection personally you're fucking amazing all right I had a had a dm from a girl that was like hey just some feedback on your podcast I absolutely love it and you're very intelligent and you make some great points but as soon as I played it and you started swearing I just wanted to turn it off I was like oh but at the end of the day at the end of the day it just comes out my mouth what can I say like I really can't really I am I am embarrassed about it I'm not really well I am like I'm working on it okay guys but listen I get it I get it I don't take it personally but anyway honestly guys i love you

so much thank you so much if you made it to the end of this episode if you did um go and comment a yellow heart emoji on my recent tiktok i love you and if you post tiktoks and i'm gonna stalk you all back and like all your tiktoks because i literally love doing that i don't notice that i ever do that because some sometimes you guys screenshot it and send it to me like um why are you stalking me and i'm like because i saw your comment i'm stalking your profile babe because i love you but anyway i love you guys so much i hope you have an amazing week and i'll be thinking of you while i'm in the sun living my best life drinking my margaritas and honestly you're the best friends i could ever ask for never forget i'm always here for you have the best week always remember don't text your ex text me instead and i will speak to

you on friday for the cheating episode so excited read out all your crazy cheating stories all right guys i'll speak to you on friday i love you bye