Leah on the Line - 38: I can't forgive myself for cheating & would you sacrifice good sex for connection?

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

Hey gorg!! Welcome back to a brand new episode. We had some amazing dilemmas and confessions this week as well as a super interesting weekly debate. Could you sacrifice good sex for an amazing connection?! It was so good to be back recording after I was away for a week! Thank you so much for all of your support, you mean the world to me. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side.

It's getting closer to midnight. I try to get closer to you. Hello. Hi everyone! Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lure On The Line. I'm back! I'm alive! I'm alive! Woo! I survived two plane journeys. Thank you, thank you, thank you to my angels who are watching over me. Thank you to all of you guys for manifesting a safe trip for me. I honestly thought I was was gonna die on the way home like for some reason i thought i was having one of those psychic moments where i was like something in my body is telling me not to get on this plane something's telling me i'm just gonna crash and i'm gonna be like i know i shouldn't

get on this fucking plane like i was literally like looking around me i was like you do look like you could die in a plane crash to be fair like does anyone ever do that i think i mentioned this before like you look around and you're like do you look like you're dying in a plane crash anyway i was literally walking about to board the plane i was looking around me like god there's there's not enough children on this plane like that we're all like grown adults like we could all be victims of a plane crash when there's like beautiful lovely young families going away for a gorgeous fun trip away like that's what makes me feel more secure i'm like we're not gonna fucking crash don't mean we're gonna have a beautiful holiday but because there wasn't like families it was a lot of just adults i was like oh my god we're all gonna crash like we're literally

all gonna die oh god this is so morbid this is so morbid isn't it anyway i didn't thank the god heavens angels universe above but i was literally convinced guys and the terpians on the way home i cried my eyes out i literally was holding my mom's hand linking her arm crying my eyes out like this literally something something mate i was like i'm gonna cry no i wasn't i was crying i was it was too late and i was like i'd sent my boyfriend a text before like whilst he was in the sky and obviously it does a little timer thing on whatsapp and i was like oh like it'll just deliver when i when i land and he's gonna know like i'm alive and then like as the turbulence is going i was like oh my god my message isn't gonna deliver like this is awful like i'm never gonna say goodbye to anybody like

this is awful and then i was like looking around and nobody else was panicking and i've experienced turbulence a fair bit do you know what I mean but for some reason like this time around I think it's because I really worked myself up beforehand I went for a wee on the plane and then I heard the like bing like the seat belts noise and I thought fuck moi we're going through some turbulence right now I'm on the fucking toilet and I was literally on the toilet right and I was shitting myself and I was wearing a jumpsuit so I had to get naked pretty much to have a wee and I sit on the toilet fucking plane starts bouncing around I was literally like oh my god I'm literally on my own in the toilet we're all gonna fall out of the sky like this is awful

and then like because of the panic I was like I need to wee like I can't get up and not wee, and I was like, it's just turbulence here, like, go for a wee, you're gonna sit back on your chair and regret it then, like, you need to just get this wee out of you, then just go and sit back down, and just sit through the turbulence, put your seatbelt on, everything's gonna be all right, honey, do you know what I mean, so I'm trying to, like, push this wee out, but I'm too scared, so I'm, like, pushing everything I've got, bearing in mind my head's fucking bounced off the walls, it's that's that turbulent okay it wasn't that bad and then i finally like get dressed and i'm all red in the face i'm all hot flush i didn't just panic i didn't know what to do zipped up my jumpsuit open the door so calm like everyone

was just like chilling all the flight attendants were still like walking down the aisle it wasn't the seat belt noise it was just like whatever other ping noise goes off probably for the staff and i just had a major panic attack in the toilet for nothing and i like walked back to my seat and i was like hey guys you're right yeah a bit turbulent bit turbulent around here made up shit to myself so scary honestly but then it did actually get quite bad and like i said i started crying my eyes out and my brother's girlfriend was scared as well and i thought don't you start getting scared because now i'm scared and then i was looking around and like when i see someone sleeping like they're still relaxed enough to sleep that's i think right okay you look like an experienced flyer like you you're not bad again

and it's when the flight attendants are looking at each other with wide eyes that you start going what what what what's the matter but anyway they were just like still serving snacks and stuff but then he was like the guy the pilot guy or whoever sat with him was like okay guys we're going to um just bring the snack service to a halt for a moment just when we get through some turbulence so the the service will continue shortly i was thinking that's his way of saying get to your seats get to your seats we're fucking going down. We're fucking going down. We're going down. Anyway, we did. And the service did continue. Oh, my God.

I got, right. So, you remember I told you I was flying with Wiz Air, yeah? Don't. Don't even bother, my love. Don't bother. I flew with Wiz Air, right? Ordered this gorgeous looking bagel twist. Actually, no.

It was a pretzel twist twist it basically was a bagel but like twits twitzel bread pretzel bread and like a big twisty thing right and it had like in the magazine it had like gorgeous salami gorgeous cheese like poking out all the sides looked stunning and like really buttery and golden shiny pretzel right shows up basically threw it at me pulls it out from the drawer she like flings it in my head she didn't i'm literally making it up and then she gave it to me i was like what is that hun no i didn't i was like thank you it looks gorgeous thanks so much it's really really nice oh my god i've got a picture of it i wish i could insert a picture to this podcast it was hilarious It was literally just like a piece of bread.

It was a pretzel to be fair, I'll give her that. Nothing, no ingredients to be seen from the outside. You had to open it up. Bearing in mind there's holes in the fucking thing and you still couldn't see the ingredients. Anyway, really not stunning. And then my auntie ordered this like carbonara, like Italian carbonara. Yeah, it arrives. Pot noodle arrives pot noodle hun literally flight attendant pills open this pocket uh packet christ girl pills open this packet pours kettle water into

the packet there's your carbonara hun my auntie goes don't quite look like the picture does it don't quite look like the picture in the picture it was in this like gorgeous bowl and like had like a bit of cheese on top stunning really quite stunning anyway where's that my flight was delayed not the end of the world but do you know what they got me home safely and for that i'm grateful for everything but you know when you board your plane and like you're you're about to go through the little tunnel and you can see your plane outside and I could see the pilot and I look at them and I think my life is in your hands like isn't that crazy I mean it's not just his like it's everybody who's in charge of the safety of the airplane like making sure it's fit to fly and all that stuff but like it's crazy and I remember talking to um one of you guys because I spoke about like air hostess people are you called air hostesses anymore it's like flight attendants what's the there's like another word for them what is it

cabin crew what's the difference I'm not sure but anyway I said like how do you guys do this as a job like every day you go to work and like you're in the sky like that is such a dangerous job for me like in my eyes I just think you're literally every day I mean so many people like they dream of it I couldn't think of anything worse hun like honestly so scary but I saw a tiktok of this girl that's like come to work with me and then she like went to Barbados for like two nights sounds amazing then she like went and did a little half an hour each way flight and I was like wow that's amazing so I can see why you'd like it but if you've got a fear of flying like me not ideal but anyway I remember speaking on the podcast and I was like how like how does your job work like I'm so intrigued and she was

like she basically said to me like I don't know how but I just have it in my head that like if the plane goes down me and all my passengers on board will survive and I was like yeah but we just won't though do you know what I mean like scary and then people like you're more likely to have a car crash more cars crash than plane i'm like yeah but you know what if you have a car crash you've got a much higher chance of survival darling anyway eight minutes in and all i've spoken about is the fact that i was scared i was going to die on a plane i didn't and i'm so grateful but i was sat there on my plane thinking i'm not i'm never going on holiday again. It's not worth this feeling. I've had a lovely seven days but this has ruined it for me. I actually had an amazing holiday guys.

I've got a gorgeous little tan. I'm looking like a stunning little bronze slag right now. But anyway enough of me chatting shit. I'm so happy to be back. It's been weird not recording for a whole week. It's all crazy. It weird. But anyway, let's get into the episode. Okay, so weekly debate this week. One of you guys sent this to me and you were like, I have a really interesting idea for a debate. And I was like, Oh my God, love it. I'm going to do it next week. So the debate this week is would you rather be with someone you had an amazing connection with but not great sex or be with someone you had amazing sex with but not a great connection I genuinely thought this would be harder than it

obviously was because I want to say 99.999999% of you were like connection over sex all day all day oh my god what's going on with me what's going on yeah connection over sex all day and like yeah I am with you 100% but I thought it would be a little bit more difficult than that because in my opinion like a relationship without connection is obviously nothing like you're that's not you're just fuck buddies like if you have good sex and no connection you're just friends and benefits essentially i mean but a relationship with an amazing connection and bad sex is like a is that friendship like obviously not i mean like you love each other but i thought it was a it was a bit more difficult like i do agree i am with you on the connection side but like what like and a lot of

you are saying oh but good sex can be like taught and built but like what if it can't like what if you were with someone who just could not satisfy you you know it's been years we're just really not sexually compatible it's really not working out for us well then what then what like could you actually be with them that's a question like if you'd really really tried it's been like two years you have an amazing connection you're like that's my soul mate but the sex is that bad do you know what i mean because for a lot of people sex is huge in a relationship which i i'm i'm one of them but let's read what you guys have to say this girl says there ain't nothing wrong with some vanilla sex all right um someone says sex is important but connection is priority yeah i can i can totally relate totally agree i'm used to be i'm used to the amazing sex but still single do do you think

i need that connection instead okay got ya got ya somebody oh my god somebody actually does think it's difficult this is the hardest question i've had both and still can't choose um you can't have an amazing connection with someone and have bad sex in my opinion oh okay i can see why you'd see that i mean see why you'd say that sex matters at the start connection lasts a lifetime okay sex matters till the end of time honey um you can work on sex you can't work on the connection um connection 100 in a relationship you spend more time talking than having sex okay a perfect point here so true um neither gotta have both surely great connection though yeah um better connection you can work on sex

sex can be improved a connection is either there or it isn't you can spice up the sex but can't change a person oh yeah that's a great point um great connection over shit sex i would rather have posi vibes and then make the sex better yeah um someone with an amazing connection and rubbish sex. Oh, rubbish. You take rubbish sex with amazing connection. Wow. Um, somebody says worse sex. I'm not a big sex person anyway. Okay, yeah, that totally makes sense. If you're like, you know what, sex isn't a big deal to me, then I totally get it. That would definitely be an easy question, I um if you have shit sex you do not have an amazing connection maybe you're right you guys maybe you are right um amazing connection not great sex happy life and do it for yourself oh ouch that's a really interesting point to make all right so interesting

please send me any weekly debate ideas you have guys because i go through phases like sometimes i've just got loads come in and i'll make a whole list of my notes and then sometimes i'm like i look at those notes and i'm like nah like that's that's a really boring thing to debate so if you guys have any good ideas because this was not my idea this week so shout out to you babe but if any of you have any ideas, definitely send them my way because I love to debate what you guys want to debate. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, throw them my way. Send me a DM right now of any weekly debate idea that you have or any Friday episodes. Definitely need the Friday episodes because when I first started that, I had like a ton of ideas, like the cheating episode,

the French episode, the sex episode, the narcissist episode, and I've actually done them all now and I don't know where to go next with that. So I will definitely come up with one like they're reasonably easy to come up with. I mean, every Friday, because it's so vague, I can literally say whatever I want. I mean, but if there's anything in particular that you guys want us to talk about and discuss, send it my way right now. Stop what you're doing and send me a DM of what you want us to talk about every Fridayiday give me any ideas you've got i'm always open to them i love you guys so much you are the creators of this podcast just as much as i am you know what i mean but anyway um great debate thank you so much for all of your responses i. Let's get into some dilemmas, okay?

So let's kick it off with this one. It says, Leah, I need help. I've managed to get myself into a situation and I need opinions, please. So basically, I got out of a five-year relationship as I wasn't happy anymore and we just weren't working anymore. A week later I started getting messages from a guy from work, all innocent and I didn't think much of it. He's now told me he likes me and wants to see where it goes. We met up at the weekend and it was great. I had an amazing time and we got on so so well and he's treating me like I've never been treated. Compliments throughout the day, texts while in the same room at work etc. Oh I love that. I love that little flirty stuff. Do you know what I mean? Like texting you from across the room. It's just cute. Anyway, all the good stuff basically. Now I'm writing to you

because one, we work together. Two, I just got out of a five-year relationship. Three, I'm 24. Four, he's 42. I need all the advice as we've opened up to each other like never before and have way more in common than either of us ever imagined. We get on so, so well, but the age thing is in my head all the time. Please help and thank you. Love the podcast. I love you too. Thank you so much. Okay, so let's tackle these things one at a time. Number one, we work together. I think it can work. I think it can, to think it can to be honest like obviously it depends on on the job I don't know what you do for work um I don't know how closely you work together so that can obviously play a big part in it because then if it ever went

sour if it ever went down south which obviously hopefully it wouldn't then that's a little bit awkward you know but if it goes really well, then amazing. Only other thing that that can be negative is, you know, if you have a relationship with someone, it's nice to have your own independence and your own place to go to, you know, like when you're in a relationship and you're, you go to work every day and that's your place and your thing and your your private independent part of your life so if you're like with someone and then you go to work every day and they're there and then you meet up after work and it's like they can it can be very consuming in the

end does that make sense because it's like they're everywhere you go do you know what I mean so that's the other thing to think about you know if that's something you're okay with. But I do think it can work. I do think it can work. Number two is I just got out of a five-year relationship. So you said that you weren't happy and you just weren't working anymore. So I wouldn't worry about like still having feelings for that other person if you genuinely in your heart don't feel like you do. And if you really feel like you've moved on and you're over that relationship then you know it doesn't matter on the timetable it matters on on your heart and your mind and if you feel ready then you're ready aren't you um the only other thing is you've been together five years so it's like

you said you are 24 so you've been together since you were 19. 19. Wait, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. You've been together since you was 19. So I think the difference in who you are as a person from 19 to 24, it's actually massive. I know it's, it's like, we're still so young at this age.

I mean, we're 24. We're very, very young. Well, I'm actually 25, but whatever. Still very young. Still so much to learn. Still so much change to happen in us as people. But I would also consider that it's also a really great time to figure out who you are. Because if you haven't been on your own since you were 19, it might be a really amazing time to figure out who that person is. is now that doesn't go to say that you can't do that while you're in a relationship with someone

um but i would also just make sure that if you are going to get into a relationship now make it a priority to spend a lot of time on your own on yourself um figuring out who you are just what to spending time on yourself do you know what I mean working on yourself um growing figuring out who you want to be as a young woman because being in a relationship from 19 to 24 it's so hard to figure out who you are on your own now because it's like you've not been on your own so this is a really important time and a really fun exciting time so yeah just make sure you don't lose that you know lose that opportunity, and the age gap. Okay. So obviously like that's a pretty big age gap, I suppose. Um, but I feel like it's really situational. Like some people it's like, Oh, he was 10 years older than me. It didn't work. Some

people was like, Oh yeah, he's 20 years older than me, but we're just perfect together. Um, I think the only reason well not the only but one of the major reasons age can play such a big part is because like you if you do want to have children one day you're gonna I don't know what age you might get to when you want to have that but then he's going to be a lot older than you um and I don't know if he already has children or if it's not something he wants or if he does is he gonna want that sooner than you because he's at a further along stage in life than you do you know what I mean and then also when it comes to like a marriage and then when you're older and he's like

way older you'll be 60 and he'll be like 80 but I mean it can work it can totally work but I don't know it's it's honestly up to you when it comes to age and all I would say is like make sure you feel safe and secure make sure that you don't feel vulnerable to an older person like even though you're 24 years old it might feel like you're really like old and mature I think it's really easy for us to feel like that but then I think when you look back it's like I thought I was this grown fucking woman when I was 18 and I was actually just really dumb and stupid and young so yeah I would just make sure that you're just very careful um and don't rush into it because it's the first guy that you've got close with since your breakup like i would also consider the fact that you're 24 you have your whole life ahead of you you're single

like this is amazing you're gonna meet so many incredible people but first of all you're gonna absolutely figure out who you are as a woman and fall in love with her so yeah i would just say you know what if it feels right just go with with your gut and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. And if it goes, if it goes to shit and you work together and then you end up breaking up, just deal with it then. Do you know what I mean? It is what it is. But also really consider the fact that like there's going to be a ton of men wanting you because you're gorgeous. I mean, you're a gorgeous stunning talented queen um and just don't rush into anything unless it's really like oh my god he is everything I've ever wanted you know what I mean I feel like this is such a crucial time

in your life to really work on yourself and make sure you feel like you love who you are and yeah never regret any decision you make as well either like you always look back and say that you did what was right for you in that moment. And whatever happens is meant to happen. Like I always say, the universe is always at work. Like whatever's meant for you will never ever pass you by. Like if this man is meant to be yours, he will. He will not pass you.

And if he does, then it was not meant for you. Some things happen for you and not to you. Remember that. Okay. But honestly, I don't really have much advice on that one besides just think about all these different things um and then make your own decision no one can tell you what to do but please keep me updated with that let me know how it goes let us all know what you decide to do um and yeah good luck i love you so much next dilemma

this one says hey leah first of all i want to say how much you're smashing this pod i remember you saying you can't see emojis oh she did the little cute like you know the the arrow and the three as a heart i love you i actually can't see emojis if you submit on my website i can't see emojis they come up as little question marks so i kind of have to figure out the mood you know but anyway now for the dilemma when chat oh by the way thank you i love you so much now for the dilemma when chatting to people on dating apps how do you find the guys who are looking for relationships without scaring them off by asking this summer i've been on multiple first dates where where a few days after the date the guy starts asking classic booty call questions or asking for nudes oh my god what are they

fucking children 18 years old what is happening anyway um how do i then turn around and say no i want to continue dating before any of that happening without them running off scared because they think i only want a long-term relationship i've tried different takes but they all end up with the guy stopping replies on making no effort this has happened a lot over the last few years but this year i feel every guy i've dated just wants me as a hookup. Most recently this past week, we went on one date, which was so lovely. He's 31, four years older than me and a teacher. So I thought I was pretty safe, but no. That evening, I had him messaging me telling me he wishes I would come to his after.

And a couple of days after trying to organize an 11 p.m. late night drive to have some fun, then suggesting I should take my top off and send him a pic. Oh, my God. 31, you send girls text messages saying, take my top off and send him a pic oh my god 31 you you send girls text messages saying take your top off what the fuck then the final straw was him suggesting we'd we hook up this weekend after I suggested we should go for another date at this point I didn't want that second date anymore but I turned around and said I'm not that easy you have to take me for a few more dates first then I get aired happily however this has happened with guys I've really liked before and I really want it to stop happening please tell me

what you think how do I find a good guy that isn't going to rush anything as I love sex and I will be wanting plenty of it but only when I know the guy respects me and isn't going to ghost me after I sleep with them thank you love you Okay. Let's tackle this one. Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A plus year. Come check out our special back to school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back to school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido, at your side. So you actually said something really stood out to me. Let me go back to where it was. Okay,

so you said how do I turn around and say no I want to continue dating before any of that happening without them running off the scare because I think I only want a long-term relationship so for me it's like if somebody sees someone and thinks oh god she wants a long-term relationship and runs away I think that they've done you a favor like I believe you should be able to say to someone I don't want to just have casual sex sorry um it's just not what I'm into at the moment if that's what you want to do I don't judge you for it I think it's absolutely fine and a totally normal thing to do but you know I'm just saying you know that's not really

what I want here oh my god I'm choking that's not really what i want here and if he turns around and he's like oh my god she's crazy she's obsessed with me bye literally go away there's nothing wrong with saying to someone obviously not on the first first fucking chat i mean but there is nothing wrong with saying to somebody i don't want casual sex and if they take it as oh my gosh she's in love with me that sounds like a big fucking ego problem do you know what i mean i'm not in love with you i just don't want to have casual sex it's just not what i want in this current position in my life you know so that's my first thought on that one and obviously it's kind of shit because you said that like just keeps happening recently but I really believe and I've seen this in myself in my friends like and people around me

I really for some reason just see that it happens in clusters like it's like I don't know what it is but it's almost like we all go through that little phase where we just cannot meet a decent person like every fucking person we date ends up fucking us over and it's like why does this keep happening why does it keep happening and then eventually it's almost just like the cycle breaks and you just meet somebody decent it's not that these aren't decent people i mean the people ghosting you they're that's not decent but the people that just are out for casual sex i don't think there's an issue with that but yeah if you're ghosting me over it that's just

disrespectful and nasty to be honest especially if I've actually had sex with you but yeah I feel like it comes in like waves where it's just like you date someone they fuck you over you date someone have sex with them they ghost you date someone they fuck you over have sex someone they fuck you know what I mean and I feel like it just comes in these like ways where you're just like oh my god somebody give me a break and why can't I just meet somebody that doesn't want to just have casual sex with me why can't I just meet someone that wants more than that so I would just honestly try really hard to keep your head in a really positive place and try and twist the mentality of like if somebody disappears because I don't want casual

sex and that's a good thing because we weren't on the same page and we didn't want the right thing the same things so i was going to get hurt so it's a good thing that this has ended now do you know what i mean and i really don't see what the problem is and why it's such a taboo thing to say to someone like i don't want casual sex or like what is it you're looking for at the moment like for some reason in our generation it's like a really embarrassing thing to ask and the other person just assumes you've fallen in love with them and want to have fucking babies and get married but we should be able to distinguish what they what that person is looking for because you could potentially get hurt if that's not the same thing you're looking for and that should be your main priority like if somebody said to me what is it you're looking for and I

didn't want a relationship and they did I totally understand why they've asked me that question I'd be like oh okay well it's probably a good probably a good job that we've had this conversation because we're not on the same page and we don't want the same thing so you know maybe we shouldn't continue this so I would try and find confidence in it you know and find it empowering to ask that question um and yeah hopefully the the cycle will just stop and you'll meet somebody decent and it will go really well and I love you so much keep us updated updated. It's going to go totally fine. Eventually the cycle will break. I promise. Okay. I love you so much. Next dilemma. Hey girl, love you and love the pod so much. I always listen on my drive to uni and it brightens my time on the motorway. Oh, I love you so much. So I have a dilemma and I feel awful about it. I was with my boyfriend for four years and things

weren't going well. I went traveling and ended up kissing a guy on my travels, but it didn't end there. We got together multiple times, and it felt as though we had a connection. He knew I had a boyfriend, but I'd mentally checked out. I knew I'd end things when I got home. I know this is awful, but like people always say, someone is mentally checked out before they end, and that was definitely the case for me. My dilemma is that I'm really struggling to live with the guilt of cheating. This is so so unlike me and I've never even considered doing it before. I got home from my travels and I ended my relationship. I still speak to the guy now who I got with whilst I was away and we have met a few times since being home. I just don't know how to live with the guilt of cheating as I never admitted

to my ex-boyfriend what actually happened. I've never been an anxious person but since coming home I keep having anxiety attacks which are horrendous and I truly feel for anyone who suffers with them I feel like if I admit to what I've done my family will find out and never ever forgive me and this is what's stopping me from owning up they loved him and were equally as heartbroken when the relationship ended and I just don't feel like I can admit it to them any advice would be gratefully received and sorry for the rambling message thank you for being the big sis I never had love you bye oh I love you so much I just want to give you a hug listen you have to forgive yourself you do because at the end of the day the relationship's over yeah you didn't do a good thing like yeah you cheated on someone but at the end of the day we all make mistakes we do we all make bad decisions we go through phases in our life

where we're not the best version of ourselves and we aren't we do things that we're not proud of but you have to forgive yourself like the relationship's over you're not keeping it from this person anymore it doesn't matter anymore like essentially obviously it's awful like it is awful cheating is dreadful um but at the same time at this point in your life in your ex's life it doesn't matter like it's done now you know it's there's nothing you can do about it you don't want to be in the relationship so you're not exactly dealing with the like oh shit i've cheated on my boyfriend what do i do how do i keep the secret from him i really don't want to break up with him like the relationship's over you know like you you can't possibly lose anything else now like you've done what you've done and it's you know it's okay

people are gonna think i'm crazy it's okay you didn't want to be with him you've ended the people are going to think I'm crazy. It's okay. You didn't want to be with him. You've ended the relationship. Hopefully your ex will find happiness, but you have to be able to forgive yourself and find happiness. Like, I don't think you need to tell people because, you know, if, if you didn't say that you really don't feel like your family would forgive you, I'd be like, just get it off your chest and just like tell your friend or something and where they can be like, oh, so what? Do you know what I mean? You're not together anymore like let it go everything's fine you've got your health and your happiness everything is okay but because you said that you you really don't want it to come out like you feel like your family will never forgive you it doesn't have to come out like at the end of the day sorry my voice is really sore at the moment you're not together

anymore you don't want to be with him he doesn't need to know because it will not change anything no one needs to know what happened you you know it's done now like I feel like you have to find peace in the fact that it's over the relationship is over it's it's what you wanted you didn't want to be together in the end um and you have to forgive yourself you have to like it doesn't define you as a person like making a bad decision and like just being a bit selfish for a while like that doesn't make you a bad person it just means that you just didn't do a very nice thing and like that's okay we all we all make bad choices we all make bad decisions and you have to learn to forgive yourself um like this is a very different

situation too if you if you sent me a dilemma that was like i can't forgive myself i can't tell him and you really wanted to be with him like that would be a whole different story because i'd always say like you can't build a relationship on lies but I truly truly believe that if you don't want the relationship ever again it really doesn't matter at this point like it's done it's over you're still a good person like do not let this decision that you made define you as a person you're an amazing person forgive yourself let it go take some deep breaths and just say to yourself I'm not even going to allow myself to think about it anymore like every time it comes into your head you have to just say stop but like it doesn't matter anymore it's done you don't want to be

with him anymore just turn the thoughts off just say no enough enough is enough enough already stop I'm not thinking about that anymore because if you think about it that's when you keep thinking about it and then these thoughts will progress and escalate into a state of panic and like an anxiety attack like you said so just stop thoughts like you have to train your brain when you when it comes to your head like if you even hear the word cheating it will trigger you but oh my fucking be like, oh my fucking god, I'm a cheater, I'm a bitch, I hate myself, you have to just be like, no, no, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter anymore, like, it literally doesn't, do you know what I mean? So yeah, I love you, honestly, I just feel, I just want to hug you,

like, it's okay, you made a bad decision, you did a bad thing, doesn't make you a bad person, it doesn't matter anymore, like, I don't want to sound like I'm repeating myself, sorry, this must be really annoying, but you have to doesn't matter anymore like I don't want to sound like I'm repeating myself sorry this must be really annoying but you have to just keep reminding yourself I don't want to be with that person that person doesn't know that person isn't hurt um they're gonna be happy without me you know um and you have to forgive yourself and just let it go like just let it go you know it's okay it's okay yeah I love you so much stop hating yourself it doesn't define you there are thousands millions millions of people that have done what you've done if not a million times worse um and you and you didn't even want to be with the person in the end so it's okay you know it's not like you're like shit what do I do't even want to be with the person in the end. So it's okay. You know? It's not like you're like, shit, what do I do?

I really want to be with him. It's okay. You don't. And it's over. It's already over. So what does it matter now? You're not even together anymore. Do you know what I mean?

That guy is going to be fine. He's going to be fine. He's going to find happiness. He's going to have a nice, lovely relationship. So don't feel guilty. Do not feel guilty anymore. It's too late. It's done.

It doesn't matter. Let it go. Forgive go forgive yourself find happiness you deserve peace in that and you're a good person and it's okay yeah I love you so much okay interesting little mix of dilemmas this week I really enjoyed them I loved them I just want to give you all a big hug I'm so sorry if you feel like you have to even write a dilemma because honestly I just hate when you guys go through things I just want to take it away for you but I can't but hopefully just me chatting here on a podcast will help even just a little bit that's enough for me like all I want to do is just make you feel like you're you have a friend or even if you've never you don't even follow the instagram account you don't get involved with the weekly debate you don't send

dilemmas you don't send confessions even if you just put me on every now and then because it makes you feel like you've got someone in the room with you that makes me so happy and all i want to do is make you guys feel like you just have someone with you when you're alone or driving or walking or studying or sleeping. Like, I like being here with you. Like, look at us. Look at us right now. Just me and you chilling, you know? Okay, guys, enough dilemmas. Let's get into okay confessions time we have some really fun confessions this week i literally love them but before we get into them i'm gonna start with an update to a confession so let me read this out hi leah firstly i want to say how much i've been loving the podcast i listened to it religiously since the beginning i love you so so so so so much i wanted to give you an update to a confession i submitted a few weeks ago it was about hooking up with a co-worker the hooking up had led us to

developing feelings for each other and although we have both decided to take things slow e.g not jump straight into a relationship i was only ever been single as i have only been single since may everything is going so so well we've booked flights to go to asia for three months starting january and i'm extremely excited oh my god you're going to spend three months with this guy in asia i was worried my friends would judge me for my situation with him as it is quite casual however we are both 100 committed to each other without being in a relationship he has shown me and told me whether a girl messages him and i can see he doesn't reply to anyone your podcast has empowered me to do what feels good and what makes me happy so i just wanted to massively thank you for the podcast

and all the advice you give if you're interested i will send you an update once we return from asia again thank you so much for everything love you bye oh i love you so much honestly it starts with a hookup and then it starts with oh yeah we're just we're just hanging out we're not we don't want to be in a relationship you guys are gonna fall in love you're telling me you're gonna spend three months in asia and not fall in love with the guy and he's not gonna fall head over heels in love with you not gonna happen honey you're gonna fall madly in love with each other this is a beautiful love story absolutely keep us updated absolutely um i can't wait to hear about it i guess we're gonna have to wait for three months though before we can hear

the update but thank you for that update already please keep us all updated we all cannot wait to hear over here at leo on the line and that right girls and boys and yeah congratulations on this beautiful love story that's about to blossom and i can't wait to sit here and say i told you so all right okay more confessions so somebody says i had sex in the scoopy bit of a digger and when i read this i was like what's a digger like for some reason i just couldn't picture a digger i was like the fuck is a digger i was picturing like a spade and i was like what's a digger then i realized it's the big fucking machine car driving thing and then I was like oh the big dippy thing on the end like the big scoop that's fun I think that's so cool and that's something I would love to do I think that's sick and very unique like if you

was at a party and you's like never have I ever had sex in a public place and you're drunk and then everyone's like where did you have sex and you're like in in the scoopy part of a digger i love that story okay someone says sometimes i get seriously butt hurt if a guy doesn't like me even though i don't like them honestly same i'm like but i would never have done this to you i would never have done this to you you know would never have done this to you. You know that sound on TikTok. Anyway, I think a lot of us can relate to that one. Do you know what I mean? Oh my God, this one's bad. I had a sex dream about my ex whilst asleep next to my current boyfriend. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's awful. Oh no. imagine all the girls and boys listening right now imagine your girlfriend or boyfriend is asleep next to you having a fucking sex dream about their ex and they wake up to you

imagine that imagine your girlfriend or boyfriend is asleep next to you having a sex dream about their ex. Fuck off. Honestly, get out of my bed now. That's crazy to me. Anyway, next one. Girl, I managed to make myself squirt the other day. What a time to be alive. Congratulations. That's so exciting. Did you know you could? Was it like a surprise? Were you like, oh my God, I'm going to piss my pants? Or you probably didn't have any pants on did you oh you never know anyway congratulations amazing news um i pretended to be my own twin sister when a guy i ghosted came up to me on a night out oh my god so you've go to this guy he's come up to you and he's like oh um molly and you're like, no, it's Polly. Molly's at home tonight, actually. It's me, her twin sister, Polly. It's Polly. That is genius. That is one of the great perks about having an identical twin. Okay, I'm going to finish it on the craziest fucking confession,

okay? I was fucking a guy. Turns out it was my cousin that I didn't know about I mean that is hell on earth like I actually cannot get my hell could you imagine could you imagine that fuck off honestly nah that is so disgusting i mean it's not your fault do you know what i mean you didn't know like you didn't know i'm so sorry that happened to you honestly i'm so i'm so sorry that happened to you. Honestly, I'm so, I'm so sorry. I love you. It's not your fault. Everything's okay, darling. I mean, I love you so much. Okay. Great confessions this week. I loved them. I literally loved them. Brilliant, brilliant confessions for this Friday. I mean, it's not Friday. It's Tuesday. Happy Tuesday.

I didn't say happy Tuesday. Did I? I mean, maybe I did at the beginning. Anyway, let's wrap up the episode. What an amazing episode. What an amazing time we've had together this evening. Well, it's the evening for me. I don't know when it is for you guys. Let me know. But honestly, I just want to say I love you all so much. I feel a bit stressed at the moment,

because I'm like, what do I do about my podcast, like, how do I, how do I grow it into what I want this baby to be, you know, I need a studio, I need, I need to get guests on it, but I'm living in the middle of bloody nowhere down south in Somerset, but you know what, I just love it like I've never loved a project more in my whole life like I just feel like I'm gonna be doing this when I'm 75 honestly literally gonna be Leah on the Zimmer frame huh that was funny wasn't it anyway love you guys I literally think you're the bestest people in the whole world like I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you if you are a frequent listener if you are a once a month listener if this is your first episode honestly just thank you so much for listening thank you to

everyone that gets involved on Instagram I just can't I just can't like I feel like you're just I feel like I don't deserve it like what have I done what have I done to deserve this you know but anyway I just wanted to make it clear that I do love you guys so much and I'm really grateful and appreciative appreciative appreciative of all of you and I hope you all know that I hope I genuinely hope you feel it as well like I really do but anyway um thank you guys so much for listening you are so amazing the best friends ever um let me know what you want to do for this friday's episode the world's our oyster honey you know let me know um we can do whatever you guys want whatever the blank episode will be i'm sure it

will be a great one because it's us and we always have great chats together you know all right i will speak to you on friday have the best week um don't text your ex text me instead and i will see you on friday for a brand new episode all right i love you We'll see you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side.