Leah on the Line - 4: My boyfriend is going on a lads holiday & his friends are d*cks

Episode Date: February 8, 2022

Oh girlies have I got a good weekly debate for you... How do you feel about your boyfriend liking girl's pictures on Instagram? I even give your boy's a talking to myself this week. There seems to be a lot of girl's struggling with the idea of your boyfriend going on a lads holiday at the mo and I am here for you!! As always I hope you love this episode and remember to email anything you want to share/dilemmas to [e-mail]! Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side.

It's getting closer to midnight. I try to get closer to you. Hey guys, welcome back. What episode is this? Is this four or five? I think this might be four or is it five? I think it's four. Anyway, how have you been? I'm actually recording this the day before it goes live. I'm usually a week ahead, but I've been at home for a week with my fam, with the kids, had the best week. I really, really needed it. I just feel like, what's the word? Rejuvenated.

Is that word? I'm really embarrassed. Is that the right word? Anyway, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling a bit stressed. Everything feels like it's getting on top of me a bit at the moment. Not going to lie. So, God, guys, we've just picked up the phone and I'm already I'm already letting it all

out on you so I'm still unemployed um update on the keels job I don't think it's looking positive I will know for sure probably by the next episode or the one after so stay tuned for that but right now I'm still unemployed it's not looking amazing. I just want to do TikTok and Instagram full time, but I don't make any money from it. I mean, I make a little, you know, I make a little bit of cash here and there, but not enough to get me by. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, still unemployed, getting really stressed about that. The longer I go on without a job, the more it's becoming like, I just can't bear it. But then also like I get so used to the unemployed life that I'm like do I really want to go like get up and go and somebody tell me what to do and like I can't just leave like this is what

I hate about going to work like I can't just go home I have to stay there I'm contracted to stay there for the eight hours of my shift and like like, if I get to one o'clock and I've had enough, I can't sleep. I have to stay. And like, it makes me stressed. Like I want to go to the toilet and cry. And sometimes I do, you know, I've had those jobs. God, if you had them jobs, girls and boys, I was so shocked. Guys, I was on a night out the other night. I know, fucking crazy. I was on a night out at Weatherspoons. Oh, we'll get into that in a minute. I really do not enjoy nights out.

But anyway, I was on a night out at Spoons hitting the town. And a boy came up to me. And he was like, I love your podcast. I was like, oh my God. Couldn't believe it. And I've had quite a few DMs from like boys men being like love the pod honey so shout out to all the blokes listening to this love you um but yeah what am I talking about what was I actually talking about then oh my god guys that got me fucking fuming I just had to get Jake to

come in because I still can't figure out how to work with this recording equipment stressed me out I just had to call Jake in he come out the shower bless him with a tower around his waist I did pull it off him and have a look at his willy for a minute but he I had to get him to to pause it and play it back because I fucking forgot what I was talking about I'm having a really bad problem with my brain state and I'm swearing a lot I'm sorry oh can you hear that I'm stressed oh girls I need a hug let's have a little hug let's take a deep breath together in with the love out with the hate all right love you everything's gonna be all right don't worry if you're having a bad time right now like me everything's gonna be all right oh okay we can do this so that's what I was

talking about I was talking about those jobs I used to work at H&M now I love H&M this is no hate to H&M whatsoever I absolutely love H&M. This is no hate to H&M whatsoever. I absolutely love H&M. And I would like to work there again, to be honest. I'd like to give it another go. So if there's any H&M stores in London, you know, hit me up. But the point is, I worked at H&M in Cambridge when I was at uni and I had the worst experience of my entire life it was hell the women I might have spoke about this before the women that I worked with were the my nightmare of of a woman like the kind of women that would gossip and chat shit about everyone and embarrass you in front of people it was just not fun. And I was like a seven, I was not 17. I was at uni. I was like 19, 20 ish. And I was so insecure. Like I just felt like a child compared to all of these other girls.

And it was so, so, so scary. And I'd love to do it now because I feel like I know myself now. I like myself. I'm a confident woman and I can stand my ground. You know, every job I've ever had since that one, they all tell me I'm sassy. And I was having this conversation with my mum the other day. What is it about a confident woman that don't take shit that people don't like? That doesn't make me sassy. It means I'm confident and I like myself and I know what I deserve. So for example, I worked in a restaurant. I'll drop the chain. Frank and Benny's. I worked at Frank and Benny's. I worked in a restaurant. I'll drop the chain.

Frank and Benny's. I worked at Frank and Benny's. I actually really quite enjoyed the job. Apart from the assistant manager, we did not get along. Oh, my God. She did not like me whatsoever. But I just didn't care. The chefs in restaurants, they just hate you, don't they?

Like, if you say to them, oh, I put an order through. This is an example. I put an order through. Caesar salad with no cheese. Because're oh no that makes no sense because there's dairy and Caesar dressing with no anchovies on the top because they are vegan there's cheese oh fuck no none of this makes sense anyway no anchovies because they're allergic let's say they're allergic to anchovies and they'd put anchovies on and I'd go oh sorry um table five yeah no anchovies on the caesar salad remember and they'd have to remake the dish and they start slamming the plates and they start muttering under their breath they start swearing and i'll be the the kind of waitress that's like hey

what don't fucking get shitty with me hun you it mistake, not mine. I'm the one that gets the shit when I take it to the table. So remake the dish, make it properly, all right? And we won't have this problem. And they think that's sassy. And it might be a bit sass. It might be a bit too much attitude in my delivery. But I just, you know, I don't appreciate being spoken to like that. Do you know what I mean? Just because we work together, you can tell me to fuck off. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely no way. No man is doing that to me.

No way. No way. That's a statement saying you're a prick. So anyway, yeah. Have you ever worked the jobs that you hate where you're just like dreading? You go to bed the night before, you wake up in the morning,

there are tears coming down my face. I used to hate it. And I told myself, I will never, ever, ever ever do that again I will never settle for that again and I thought it was normal so let me tell you if you are working a job right now and you cry before your shift or you run to the toilet and you have a fucking mental breakdown because it's so emotionally challenging for you your job does not have to be like that and And it is not normal and it's not okay. All right, let me tell you that right now. I thought it was normal.

I was like, oh, you know, like no one likes working. You know, this is just what it's like working these jobs. No, no, you should be respected by your manager, respected by your colleagues. You should enjoy going to work. You should feel like you can be yourself. You should feel heard and listened and appreciated. And if you don't feel those things

it's a problem and we need to either talk to the manager about it or we're going to find another job honey because you deserve better than that all right anyway let's see what's going on in your week um so yeah overview of me uh i'm very stressed i can't speak i can't speak i was voicing it my friend earlier and i literally screamed into my microphone because i just couldn't get my words out and i got a podcast to film it's got to go up tomorrow I've got a film and edit this oh god I haven't even made any of the cut down clips for TikTok and Instagram from the last episode of Jake and Fab by the way thanks so much for the support on that episode I'm really glad you enjoyed it thanks so much for everything you guys just thanks

everything I just couldn't get through my days without you love you god I'm really down in the dumps at the minute aren't I I'm all right like don't I'm fine don't worry about me um anyway what's going on in your lives let's have a look um I got a few updates today that I'm really happy about and a lot of pictures which I really appreciate obviously I can't show you guys the pictures um let's have a look um just want to say I love the podcast my good news for the week is I've finally been promoted at work after a year of hard work round of applause for you oh my god so buzzing for you I've never had a promotion but then I've never worked jobs that there are really room for promotion I mean they normally just like give you more work and not really much more pay rise and then just call your shift leader or give you the keys and be like you're the shift leader and it's like fantastic so my workload gets

heavier but my my pay stays the same anyway congratulations so happy for you that is so amazing I wish you mentioned what the line of work it was that's really exciting well done hard work really does pay off you deserve it you're amazing. Going back to your first podcast, I want to share my exciting news because like you said yourself, I have no friends and no one but my boyfriend and family to tell, but I've just been promoted to manager.

You guys are all getting promotions. These are all very relevant to the starting topic today as well. Promoted to manager at my job and I'm so excited and wanted to share it with someone. Oh my God. I'm so happy you shared it with me.

Congratulations. You are the boss you shared it with me. Congratulations. You are the boss. You are the boss. You are the bad bitch. And do you know what? Because you're excited and you're happy and you want that position, you're going to be a nice manager. Not like the managers we've been talking about.

You're going to be the manager that people can talk to. People are going to feel listened. People are going to listen to. People are going to feel heard by you. You are the best. I love you. Okay, just wanted to let you know of the most exciting news ever. I'm a final year student midwife. Oh my God. And I got to be at the birth of my niece. Oh my God. So you delivered your sister's baby, didn't you? That is a dream. I wish my sister would study midwifery so that she could deliver my baby, selfishly, but I just think she'd be great at it.

But then I always think about midwives and like the trauma they experience, you know, like the horror stories, like there's so many traumatic births. Like my best mate, her birth was really traumatic. Like it was so scary for her, bless her. Thank God her and baby were happy and healthy and they're so fine now. But they're not all going to be. And I just think about midwives and like any nurse, anyone that works in like health care. I just think, oh my God, the shit you must take home with you. I take my heart off to you. You are amazing. Anyway, this is the best bit. Please enjoy this picture of her because she's incredible. Obviously, I can't show you this picture, but when, let me describe it to you. It's a beautiful

baby. She looks like she's in a bowl, like a fruit bowl. This sounds so funny. She's on like a wooden floor in like a bowl with a tiny little pillow. She's definitely not in a bowl. Like, please don't listen to that. She's not in a bowl. Honestly,'t listen to that she's not in a bowl honestly this baby is completely fine with a little pillow wrapped in a pink blanket that's tied in a bow with white massive white roses i mean the roses are probably normal size she's just tiny she's so cute she's got a little headband of flowers on her head when i tell you she's perfection guys i want a baby and i want woman now I've been really badly broody recently really bad honestly congrats to um you and your amazing sister and that beautiful baby that is so exciting so happy for you oh so much amazing stuff that was very career-based this

morning wasn't it this morning what am I talking about it's literally not the morning honestly there's something wrong with me I think it's my lack of like customer facing experience recently where I haven't had a job I've forgotten how to communicate with people like all I do is talk to myself in a room with a microphone and talk to my boyfriend and my family and voicing out my friends like I'm not actually getting any face-to-face contact it's probably quite damaging for my brain cells anyway um I also want to ask you guys I had an offer slide into my emails yeah um to interview somebody um and I just it wouldn't be like an interview like um a tell me about you interview it would be like a normal episode of Here on the Line. But with a, like a celeb, I guess. Celeb.

And let me know if that's something you'd find interesting. I don't know if I'd be able to do it. I think I'm a bit fucking scared. Do you know what I mean? I need one of you here with me to like hold my hand. But I think it would be so amazing and so exciting. And I hope I would be able to do it. But like, do you know, like today I just had to call my boyfriend in and start this podcast again. I think it would be so amazing and so exciting and I hope I would be able to do it but like

do you know like today I just had to call my boyfriend and start this podcast again because I completely lost my train of thought I keep stumbling on my words I can't do that with somebody opposite me I'll have a panic attack I will literally have a panic attack no I won't let me know if you think it would be good I don't know I feel like it would be really fun, but then I would say, yeah, no, no. All right. The weekly debate this week. I, I've really struggled this week to find a weekly debate because I've got so many in my notes and I always put on my Instagram story, a question box where you can send in your weekly debates. But I feel like a lot of my weekly debates have been boyfriend slash relationship based. Um, and I'm, I'm worried that I'm going to go too far

down that route because I do want it to also be about friendships and stuff like that but then somebody did send this one in and I just had to use it because I thought it was quite good and so weekly debate this week is how do you feel about your partner liking other people's pics on Instagram what do you think the response would be to this like just think to yourself now what do you reckon do you reckon most people are like don't care or do you reckon everyone's like absolutely fucking not under my watch under my watch on my watch under my roof do you know what i mean what do you reckon when you first hear that what do you reckon the response is because i thought everyone would be like, I don't really mind, you know, like I trust my boyfriend, like me and him, I absolutely

fine, I don't care, I like people's fit, I don't care, but you guys care and I'm not gonna lie, same, I don't like it, I don't like it, but I thought a lot of you would be more chilled back and chilled back, what are you talking about? Chilled and laid back than me but we're equally as just like fucking intense i love that for us but let's read some of the responses first one fine unless it was some random girl that he doesn't know or like saucy pics so that is completely fair if it's like a mate that you went to school with oh god i don't care but then i'm not gonna lie part of you began but did you like sleep together back in the day? Do you know what I mean? If she's got, like, a boyfriend, like, whatever, and maybe you know her boyfriend, like, whatevs, but if it's just, like, a random girl that I don't

know, I've never heard of her, I'd be like, who the fuck is she? Who the fuck is that? And what do you like about this photo so much? What is it you like about this photo that you felt the need to let her know? Do you know what I mean? Am I crazy? Am I the drama? I think I'm the drama. No, I'm not the drama. I'm not drama. I'm so easy to be with. Just such a little angel girl, you know? If they're famous or I know them, it's fine. If new person slash didn't know, I'd be suspicious. Yeah, I feel like is that pretty much what I just said, right? Okay, so I'm not alone in that my insecure self is like ew but it's not a big deal at all I like people's photos as well so this is the thing I actually don't I don't like boys photos because I don't like them this is the genuine truth I don't like the photo because I don't look at the photo and think I like that

you know like I don't look at a photo of a boy and think, nice, double tap, not a heart for you. You know? I just, it doesn't come to mind. I just think, okay, do you know what I mean? Controversial, but I don't mind as long as he doesn't act on it. Maybe not half naked picso. Now I find this interesting. What do you mean as long as he doesn't act on it? Yeah, of course not. Of course we're not allowing this. We're not allowing him to act on it. But this is my thing. I feel like you like a photo because you want to let somebody know that you like the picture girls liking girls pictures we love you girls supporting girls but a boy liking a girl's photo and vice versa i do feel like that is because you're trying to let them know no am i deep in it it's probably not that

deep do you know what this is the thing everyone is different and some people like it's not that deep at all like it's like little double tap it's not that deep but for me I think because I'm the kind of person that I don't like people's photos unless I fancy them that is the truth I don't like a boy's photo unless I think fit and like when I've got a boyfriend I'm not looking at boys and thinking that so I don't like him so I just feel like that's the behavior I'm assuming from the boy but I suppose boys might not all be the same he might look at and go oh she looks happy give that a little like do you know what I mean or like ah it's her birthday like it do you know what I mean it's probably not that deep but I definitely I think because of how I feel about liking photos myself I assume

that it's the same but you know it's probably not let's go back to you um I think if the girl is hardly wearing any clothes in the picture it's disrespectful fuck yeah imagine you see a girl in her underwear like a lounge ad and your boyfriend's name's underneath fuck no fuck no that's not cool with me is that I'm I'm gonna own it I think that's absolutely wrong and I will stand by that decision I will fucking take down anyone that has something to say about it because I'm right I'm joking but like is there anyone out there that your boyfriend would like a girl in underwear on Instagram and you don't mind that's okay yeah he probably wanks over other girls I don't mind cross your's okay. Yeah, he probably wanks over other girls. I don't mind. Of course we mind. I've been with my boyfriend eight years and it doesn't bother me generally unless it's a bikini pic. No issue with friends, celebs, etc. But no to random girls. They don't

really know. Embarrassing. My boyfriend unfollowed every girl when we got together. Okay, I would never expect that. That's a bit bit far that's a bit dramatic but then i enjoy it you know if jake did that obviously i would never ask him or expect him to but if he just did that off his own back i'd be like actually do you know what i would i would think well why why have you fucking shagged all of them or something it i would be like well, why was not that deep is it? God that was just me out Somebody just puts absolutely not in full capitals. I honestly nearly dumped my boyfriend over this Have you seen that tick-tock trend where they like? They find that their boyfriends liked a girl

A girl's Instagram photo of them in like a really like mini sexy tie Dress and then they send the boyfriend like the picture of the dress on like pretty little thing send it to the boyfriend and they're like oh we might get this for Saturday like what do you think and the boy's like no you ain't fucking wearing that also if a boy ever says that to you bye like oh well I won't but they're always like no honestly that is trashy like you will not look good in that that's just like you look like attention seeking and then they'll be like oh I just thought you might like it since you liked it on Sarah do you know what I mean I love that trend I can honestly say I've never been in a relationship where that's happened to me they've they've liked other girls photos that

I felt was inappropriate like it's only ever been friends or family or people that we both know so yeah it's never been a problem for me personally and I don't know how I'd respond if it was but I'm 100% sure I would not fucking like it not a chance in hell if he's liking them he clearly likes what he sees facts facts that is so true like if he's liking the, that means he's looked at that picture and gone, fit, smash. Susie, what was the game, smash or pass? No, scroll through Instagram. He's scrolling through Instagram playing smash or pass. If that's what he's doing, if he's liking pictures,

he's scrolling through playing smash or pass in his head. And that's a no-go for me. Somebody's put, hate it, what do you like about them? Exactly, what are you liking about that? What do you like about that photo, hun? Okay, if there's a problem, if this is happening to you, this is what we're going to do. We're going to get the picture up, we're going to go over to our boyfriend, hold it in front of his face and go, what is it you like about this photo in particular?

Is it the nipples you can see through the mesh top? Is it the hourglass figure that we've got going on? Yeah? What is it that we like about this picture? Just so I know. But, you know what? They always go, oh, I just double tapped it by accident. Bye.

No, you didn't. No, you actually didn't, though. You actually didn't. That's not what happened. I've never accidentally liked a photo. I've accidentally saved a lot of photos. But I've never accidentally liked a photo. You're joking.

I might just be a psycho. But if he did, it be a problem like what you like him for Why can't you just scroll past? Exactly, do you know what I mean? The worst is when they bad mouth a person and then go like their photo With a snake emoji that hasn't happened to me. I would that was good. That is confusing to me. I emoji that hasn't happened to me I would that is that is confusing to me I honestly I I can't find a response that disagrees with us I think we're all on the same page we don't like it unless it's um someone we know but then the odd girl says I don't mind it as long as it's not a bikini pic yeah as long as it's not a bikini pic um yeah so I feel like we're all genuinely on the same page. This is funny. This girl goes, no, no, sorry, but if my man's liking a chick in her swimsuit on a beach,

sorry, love, what you loving? The bikini, the beach, the sea, the sky. No, you think she's fit. That's it. Oh, somebody's put, you want to shag her simple. Yikes. I'd be fuming. Absolute no from me. Don't like it. Don't like anything you wouldn't feel comfortable with me posting. Oh, so it's like if you're liking a girl in a lounge set,

why don't I just go and post a pic in a lounge set, hun? Yeah? How do you feel about that, honey? Yeah? That's funny. about that, honey? Yeah? That's funny. That is the game. That's the game we're going to play. If your boyfriend's liking girls' pictures, we're just going to recreate those photos and put them on our own feed. Alright? Okay.

I feel like this is the first dilemma where it's pretty unanimous across the board. We're all on the same page there, girls. So I suppose, all in all, that means don't fucking do it. Because by the the sounds of it most of us don't like it do you know what I mean so if your boyfriend's doing it just call him in the room right now you go get him pause it hiya hun um it's Leah I'm I'm friends with your girlfriend um I hear that you're liking girls photos on Instagram can we can we not don't like it none of us like it we all don't like it all of us think you're wrong okay so stop doing it all right love you bye okay girls you're welcome all right should we get into a dilemma I've got some fucking juicy ones because I didn't really um read that many last week with the boys did I because they just

wouldn't let me get a word in joking I loved it I loved the last episode I had such a good time with the boys on the pod um but I am so glad it's just me and you girls again aren't you hi it's Fido start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget we have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait.

Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side. Aren't you bit low-key glad it's just us again? All right, got some brilliant Dinalamas. Let's start with the first one called Three Lads Holidays! Question mark, exclamation mark.

Wow. Okay. Hi, Leah. I absolutely adore you and your personality. Your TikToks are so relatable and this podcast is such a great idea. Oh my God. I love you so much. Thank you. Me and my boyfriend have been together almost a year. We have lots of fun together and he makes me very happy. However, he has a very large friendship group. I'm talking about 100 friends. 100 friends. What? Are you joking? I can even name 100 names. Let alone names of people I even know.

Let alone friends. Wow. 100 friends. Imagine that group chat. Jesus, headache. I can count my friends on one hand. I can count my friends on one finger. Anyway, enough about me. He has briefly brought up this year that he is planning three lads holidays with the boys. A skiing one, one that has been planned for years but keeps getting cancelled and another one. For reference, we're both on an average income and are both 23 years old. Okay. This has hurt me. I certainly don't mind my boyfriend going on a lads holiday or even two, but I feel like three is a lot lot he complains quite often he has no money to go on nice date nights or holidays I brought this up to him and said I'm quite shocked you're planning three lad's holidays while we haven't even planned one yet together this year he says I'm stopping him having fun oh and he's only 23 he goes out quite often with his friends at least once a week oh I did not want him to oh I do not want him to

stop having fun but I'm having trouble knowing what to do as I feel like I want a relationship when my boyfriend spends more time on me I think quality time is my love language little same I would love to go on more date night and explore more of the world of my boyfriend but I'm very hurt and quite shocked by his three holidays this year as it seems like quite a single thing to do especially as they will be going out drinking every night meeting girls any advice girls would be much appreciated am i being controlling is this not the right person for me because i want more from this relationship what would you do if your boyfriend wanted to go on three lads holidays this year i'm completely stuck on how to deal with this situation and maybe i'm overreacting i'm also rubbish with words so this email might sound bad

no no not at all. I also have trouble communicating my feelings about his laddish behavior to him. Oh, hon. Let's all give her a big group hug right now. Big group hug. Love you. Another, another deep breath for this one, girls. In with the love, out with the hate. Okay. Here's what I think. I feel like him going on free lad's holidays is fine. Okay. Because like Jake and Fab have just been like, oh my God, guys, there's a baby in the balcony opposite me. He's not on the balconies. It is in his house and he's banging on the door to the balcony. Hello. Oh, his mom's coming over to get him away. Get away from there. Get away from there. Oh my God. What if the baby's like, help me? No, no, it's fine. Anyway. So, back to you.

Yeah, I think free lads holidays is fine. Do you know what I mean? Jake and Fab have just gone on a skiing holiday. They had a lads holiday. And let me just tell you, not all lads holidays mean going shagging girls and prostitutes and strip clubs. Some lads holidays, they just want to drink the beers and

have a laugh and do you know what I mean? They're not all just going to cheat on you you they are just having a good time with their mates um and I had no worries about Jake going on a lad's holiday and if he was going on two more this year I'd I'd be excited for him as long as I'm getting the same amount of effort and time I'm not saying I need to go on three holidays, but you're going on at least one with me, maybe even two, maybe a UK break. Do you know what I mean? If you're going on freelance holidays

and then telling me that you haven't got money to go on a date with me, your priorities are not where they should be, at least not where you deserve them to be. He is obviously prioritizing the boys, which is a problem, that's not nice and you deserve better than that so like you said you struggle communicate do you know what i always say like you said and it's so annoying every time i listen back to this podcast again like you said like you

said shut up but anyway like you said you're having problems communicating but you're gonna have to try as hard as you can to communicate how you feel because it's not good enough. The free holidays, don't worry about it. He's not going to cheat on you. And if he does, that's nothing to do with the lads holidays. That's just who he is. He would have done it anywhere. So don't let the lads holidays give you those negative feelings, okay?

He's not going to cheat on you. Let's just stick with those feelings. Let's not manifest anything negative. Be positive. The only major issue we have right now is he's not giving you that same energy he's not interested in a couple's holiday why not why do you not look at me and want to spend time with me like that why do you not think i'd love to go on a lush holiday with you babe sit in a hot tub with you in a sexy red bikini wrap wrap your legs around me do you know what i mean why do you not feel like that um and that's what

I'd say to him like why how come the thought of free lads holidays is really exciting to you which obviously it is going to be of course anyone would love to go on lads holiday but how come you don't also look at me and think oh let's go on holiday let's go Mexico for a week or like let's get a hot tub cabin in the UK for a long weekend like let's go fucking Butlins let's go Haven Holiday Park do you know what I mean where is that energy when it comes to my my relationship I need that I need that from someone if you're not going to give it to me stop wasting my time because I'll go be with someone else that will give that to me so definitely just try and communicate it I think try and separate the fact that you don't like him going on last holidays because that's just a trust thing. That's a whole nother dilemma,

if you don't trust him on last holiday. But I think try and separate that and don't come at him in a way where it sounds like you're going to cheat on me on your last holidays. Try and come at it from an angle where it's like, babe, go on all these lads holidays. I want you to have fun with your mates. But what about me? Don't neglect me in the meantime. I want to go on dates. If you're going to spend all your money

on your ski holidays and all this shit, then what about me? You just think I'll just, the bare minimum is enough for me. Like, yeah, we just hang out and stay at each other's houses. You're giving me bottom of the barrel energy here. And you think that's enough.

I'm going to stick around because they know that they've got you with the bare minimum. So, it's not the vibe. It's not the vibe. It's not there. It's not the energy. It's not the energy you deserve. It's not the energy us girls want for you. So, communication, a big conversation is is um

it needs to happen i'm afraid girly yeah a nice conversation is needed i hope he gives you reassurance i hope you know maybe he's just immature and he's just going lads lads lads but he does love and adore you and he hopefully he will just give you what you deserve I love you all right oh girl title of this one are you ready for this girls I really don't like his friends oh god okay I'm 22 my boyfriend is 23 we've been together for nearly two years like any relationship we've had ups and downs but we always managed to come out on top I do really love him and I really hope in my heart that he is the one I spend the rest of my life with. Oh, you really love him. However, his friends are a nightmare. They're all either single and acting like vile dogs or in a relationship and cheating on their partner regularly. Is it regularly or regularly? Because it's spelt

regularly, but I've always said regularly. Anyway. It's very complicated, but I'm basically in no position to be telling the girlfriends as I barely know them and these boys are his best friends. I wasn't even meant to know. Oh, that is a shit situation. Anyway, besides this, they are just terrible influences. They are 100% the kind of guys that would encourage cheating

and do not respect our relationship at all. It's unfortunate because he does not have a single person in his circle giving him genuinely good advice that has his best friend, oh, that has his best interests at heart. He has previously admitted that he knows they aren't very good friends, but he's never had a proper best friend that he can trust slash rely on so he doesn't know any different. Their friendships are based solely off having fun, laughing, girls girls going out. Anyway, these friends have asked him to go on a lads holiday this year and honestly, I'm stressed. Why does he want to be in that environment with them? He wouldn't cheat but he has a habit of lying slash not being honest about things because he knows I'll be annoyed or upset about it. So just knowing he's going to be in that environment with all those guys is just sickening.

If he was going away with some friends that I liked or knew respected our relationship I would genuinely be okay but the friends he wants to go away with would 100% have complete disregard for our relationship and just would be with what? And just would be with and around girls 24-7. Technically not a problem but why would he want to be in that environment when he knows that's all they'd want to do? By the way for context he was single for a while before we met and during that time He went on a countless amount of lads holidays with these boys What do I do? How do I tell him? I really don't feel comfortable from going How do I tell him that I don't understand why do I want to go the first place? I've tried to talk to him. He's always saying he obviously won't cheat etc, but I know that already

I'm upset because he wants to be in that environment. Please help. Sad face. Oh my God. I need a minute after that. Wow. Oh my God. Okay. First impression was, I always believe you are who you surround yourself with. And I don't mean that in way of he's a cheater, but how can you get on with and enjoy the company um and have a laugh with these guys if you thought what they were doing was wrong so if I was best mates with these girls and they were all going out cheating on their boyfriends blah blah I'd be like you're fucking vile I can't associate myself with you. And the fact that he doesn't, he doesn't feel like that, is a red flag. I'm just going to say it. I'm so sorry. I'm definitely wrong. I'm definitely wrong.

He would never cheat, but that would be my first thought. It's just like, well, you are who you surround yourself with at the end of the day is that true i don't know my mum would say that that's not true and we all know diane has the best advice but that is just one thought okay it's not necessarily accurate but it's one thought that comes to mind all right my next thought you said that he lies to you a lot next thought you said that he lies to you a lot um and he says it's because he knows you'll be annoyed or upset about it but here's my thing don't fucking do it then whatever you're doing that you're lying to me about because you know it's gonna upset me don't do it don't do it in the first place so you don't have to lie to me so you can just tell me the truth and tell me that you didn't do this thing because you thought it would upset me not do it and then lie because you knew it would upset me that's the fucking problem okay i'm getting bad vibes i don't

think he's a cheater like i'm not going that far but i'm getting bad vibes his friends just sound like pricks mate they're fucking a lot of them god my language today i'm really having a bad day today you can tell i'm letting it all out on your boyfriends as well. Sorry, girls. Sorry, boys. Yeah, I mean, this is the thing. You said you're not worried about him cheating, okay? So what is it that you don't like? You said that you don't want him to be in that environment. No, you said that you don't like that he wants to be in that environment. But if you genuinely hand on heart don't think he's going to cheat, then that should just be okay. You should just know that he's just going to sit back and be faithful to you. He's going on this sad holiday and it's so shit.

But if you genuinely hand on heart think, my boyfriend is loyal, he's not going to cheat on me. I think your best bet is to just, you know, you can say to him, I feel uncomfortable. I still don't really get why you'd want to be in that environment if you're that faithful and in love with me. But I'm not going to stop you. And if that's your idea of fun, I want you to go and have fun. You know, and I'll see you when you get back. No crazy behaviour. No, please don't fucking cheat on me.

Because, you know what I mean, cheat is going to cheat. That's what I say. And he's not. He's not going to cheat. That's not what I'm saying. But, I mean, like, what's the use in going, oh, my my god I'm really worried or I'm really scared you're going to do it like why waste your energy and why work yourself up like that like you said you don't think he's going to I said like you said again I'm so annoying you don't think he's going to and that

is all you need to focus on everything's going to be all right he's going to come back his friends are pricks hopefully they drop off eventually you know hopefully they don't stay in his life forever hopefully your boyfriend grows out of it um but yeah I hope you are right and he is faithful and loyal to you um and I'm sorry about his friends bunch of pricks love you okay let's move on my problem is that I'm in my second year of university with zero friends. I'm just not that typical party hard drinking kind of uni gal. And I feel like I'm the only one. So remember I said at the beginning of this podcast, I went on a night out this weekend and I fucking hated it. And I got home and I just cried to my mum.

And she was like, it's okay if you don't enjoy it. Because I used to always feel like I don't get anxiety on nights out, like, I don't get, oh my god, everyone's looking at me, or like, oh my god, what if this happens, it's not anxiety I feel, I just find it overwhelming, and I feel sad, and I don't like it, I just don't have fun, and I'm talking clubs, like, I love going out for a nice dinner, and getting a bottle of wine, and smashed or like going to a cocktail bar and getting like a bit tipsy like I love that but if you put me in an overwhelming club vibe I do not have fun and I used to always think there's something wrong with me there's something wrong with me I'm 24 I should love this and I just don't and I was talking to my mum about it and she was like that's just not your thing

that doesn't so and my mum was saying the same like it's not her thing either like sometimes she'll be in a situation where she's like oh fucking hell like this is just not for me I just think there's probably so many of us listening now that it's not our thing it's not for us you know like being in a club or even some people might not even just like drinking in general, like it's just not your vibe and you're not alone in that and I think we all feel really alone in it and we feel like a fucking loser but there's nothing wrong with us, it's just not for us and we enjoy other things. So I just think you're at uni and there is this whole stereotype around uni of it being this big piss up and like let's get

fucked like but it doesn't have to be like that and just because you don't want it to be like that doesn't make you boring I was like that for my first year I was going out every weekend or out every night of the week um I had no anxiety I was loving it I was in my prime and then by second year I tapped out I was like nope I'm done let's hate for me and I never went out I went out very rarely in second year and I did not enjoy it I would force myself because I used to love it I loved it I used to love this club I used to come here every Wednesday lololos yeah midweek mashup and now now I'm miserable here and I don't enjoy it whatsoever so I just and I really used to beat myself up about it and force myself to go and then I'd feel so miserable and so depressed and then by third year I was like do you know

what I'm not putting myself in situations that make me unhappy anymore so I stopped doing it and I'm much happier and still to this day I still find myself forcing myself to go like I did last weekend. But after this weekend, I've literally said to myself, I'm not doing that anymore. Like I'm literally not. I'm just going to accept myself for who I am. And that's not me. It's not me. Let's all go out for a nice dinner.

Do you know what I mean? That's me. So don't feel like shit. Don't feel like you're not living the uni life. You're going to walk away with a fucking good degree and that's all that matters. And there's nothing wrong with you. You're absolutely unbelievable, mate. Smash out your degree, you little legend.

Hey, Leah, loving the podcast. Oh my God, thank you. So am I overreacting or overthinking at my boyfriend's family having his ex-girlfriend on social media still? Bit of background here. We've been together for four years, have our flat etc however in our four years together on numerous times and by numerous people his family and friends i've been called by his ex's name no

apologies just laughed off they broke up in a bad way and she was horrible to us both when we first met as girls do however she is still treated like family and I am disrespected. Am I overreacting to this? Thoughts, please. A girl needs some help. First of all, what do you mean as girls do? Like, why is it accepted that girls are horrible to their ex's new girlfriend? Like, what the actual fuck? I couldn't think of anything weirder than feeling like you have a right. Do you know what I mean? I think it's weird. That is so weird. If any of my boyfriend's exes try to even say anything, I'll be like, that you're weird. I mean, I have experienced that, but yeah, I find that difficult. But you said that she wasn't very nice. So that is the thing that I find a red flag because it's

like, if Jake's exes wasn't nice to me, his mum wouldn't like that because she'd be upset for me. She'd be like, oh, I don't like that she's been like that to you. Do you know what I mean? that because she'd be upset for me she'd be like oh i don't like that she's being like that to you do you know what i mean the fact that she's being horrible to you and causing you problems but his family are still wait didn't you say you've been together four years i'm sorry why are you getting called his ex's name it's been four years do you reckon they're do they like you are they doing it out of being like are they digging it sounds like they're just making digs it doesn't sound like they're being very nice um have you spoken to your boyfriend about it because this is the thing you can't go and be confrontational with his family and friends because

it's not your place and it's not fair for you to have to do that that is sort of your boyfriend's responsibility to be like look mum or look boys you're you keep calling emma lauren and i know you're doing it on purpose because me and lauren split up four years ago so what the fuck and the boys and his mum should be like oh it's only a joke and he'll be like no i'm not i'm telling you now i don't like it she don't like it stop if i hear that name again there's gonna be a problem all right stop doing that to my girlfriend it's not fair that's that's your boyfriend's responsibility that's what I think oh I'm gutted for you that's really shit that must really weigh you down um yeah I'm really gutted for you I hope you don't let it get in the way of your relationship and I hope you don't let it get you down too much but yeah ask your boyfriend please talk to them for

me because I don't want to talk to them I don't want to be confrontational with the people that you love. But they're really upsetting me and I don't like it. And I want you to stop it. So, yeah, talk to him. Oh, love you, babe. Okay, guys. I think I better wrap up the episode. Oh, God, I feel like I was in a really aggy mood this whole episode.

I'm really sorry. I feel like I've just been ripping into all your boyfriends and all your mates and that oh I need a deep breath I need a fucking drink after this stressed my eyes are so sore by the way I think I need to put like pseudocrem on them I don't know what's wrong all the skin on my eyelids are like really itchy and dry and all swollen anyway oh what an ep anyone else feel a bit stressed after that? I'm supposed to be making you feel good and positive, but I feel like I've given all my negative energy onto you and I can only apologize. I love you guys. I'm really sorry. I really apologize for doing

this to you. I hope I haven't ruined your day. Honestly, it's a Tuesday. We're going to have an amazing week, okay? I'm going to come back to you next week with great news. Okay. I'm going to tell you this now. There's going to be some great news. I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to have a job. Things are going to be really looking up for me next week. All right. And you as well, you're going to have great news this week. So email me any good news that you get, anything that's been bothering you this week anything that you want to share let me know your good news bad news I'll read it out at the beginning of next week love you so much I literally could not get through these days without you the stress I feel but then

I open my Instagram account and you guys are in my DMs telling me that you love the episodes oh you make everything bearable all right have the best week girlies you are everything bearable. All right. Have the best week, girlies. You are everything to me. All right. I love you so much. See you next week for another episode. I love you. Bye. Bye. We'll see you next time.