Leah on the Line - 41: My boyfriend says he won't ever marry me & the secret hack to find nudes on your partner's phone

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

Hey huns! In today's episode we discussed whether it would be a deal breaker if your partner said they don't want to get married. What are your thoughts on this one?! The dilemmas ranged from jealous sister-in-law's to rumours about your boyfriend cheating... Listen now to hear all the juice! I love you guys so much, thank you for all of your support and for listening to Leah on the Line. You are everything! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello! Hi everyone! Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. How are you? Happy Tuesday! I hope you had the best weekend. I miss you guys so much. What did you get up to? I'm a Celebrity is back on our screens, guys so much. What did you get up to? I'm a celebrity is back on our screens, guys. I'm a celebrity back, but I'm already pissed off. I'm already pissed off because Olivia Atwood was my queen of the jungle. I'm telling you now, she was going to take that throne. She was going to go with that crown. She was going to walk over that bridge with the big thing in your hand. What that thing in your hand it's like a big burning torch isn't it I can't even picture it what is it a like big grass crown isn't it anyway and they

walk over and they're like ah queen of the jungle queen of the jungle and all their family are like I knew you could do it I knew you could do it anyway that was gonna be Olivia I'm telling you now it was gonna be Olivia and listen I'm not I'm not much of a gambler okay like I'm not a crazy girl I'm not I'm not a gambler at all but and I do not promote gambling let me just say that let me just say that but I put a little bet on Olivia Atwood to win yeah I did crazy crazy girl I put 10 pound on well actually I tell a lie I put a bet on Olivia Atwood to come first and Mike Tindall to come second now listen I don't know who Mike Tindall is. Okay, I'm not a sporty girl.

I don't know if you could tell that about me. Sport isn't really my expertise. But apparently, he was a favourite twin. So I was like, oh, he's got to be a legend. He's got to be a bit of a legend. Do you know what I mean? He's got to be a cool guy. So it was like shit odds for just to have Olivia to win.

Like it was like four to one. And I was like, I'm not betting more than £10 because I'm actually not that crazy. I'm actually not. And I don't have enough money so I was like I need to choose more of a crazy bet like a more risky bet so I went for that one anyway Olivia's been removed from the jungle and I'm still yet to find out why by the time this episode airs I'm sure we will know hopefully we'll find out in tonight's episode I'm recording this on Monday night by the way so this makes sense um but yeah i'm really pissed off because like now he's gonna win i don't know i'm loving that jill woman the euros footballer like she's euros i mean she played in the euros i mean i just made that up i should know she plays for england i'm sure she played in the euros

i'm sure she won the euros for us girlies you know what i mean but um the way that she bossed that plank challenge where she had to walk out on that plank i was like that is my girl that's my girl like the way that the guy what's his name baba baba i love that cute name he couldn't do it and then the woman yeah woman i love you the way that she was just like just fucking get off of it and let me have a go will ya she just walked straight out like she was just walking to the shop i was like well you're you understand how high that is yeah you could die she just walked straight over couldn't believe it i was like wow and i think she's gonna be a real team player like obviously she's in a woman's football team so first of all she is a woman's woman she is a girl's girl yeah

she does things to represent the females yeah i love that for her and also she's a team player so she's going to be really encouraging like she was in that first challenge she's going to be really like empowering motivational she's powerful strong independent woman and she's going to be really supportive and i think that's going to make her really good in all the trials especially ones where you do it like as a team like one and two people do I mean and I think she's going to boss it and I don't think much is going to scare her I just got a feeling that she's going to be this like brave I mean she's a lioness after all do you know what I mean so yeah she is my winner but at the same time will she get boring like is it a bit like yeah we get it you're not scared of anything boring and then she won't get any trials and then you know she'll just like float through

i don't really know who the winner is now because i'm quite good at predicting the winner of i'm a celeb and whenever there is a female reality star they take the crown because people love them they're relatable they're down to earth they're real they're normal people like they usually haven't been in the limelight for very long so they're still just so relatable to everyone they haven't like lost touch with themselves you know what I mean so every time there's a reality star on the show I'm like the crown's yours babe do you know what I mean just take it and run but this time Olivia was the the only reality star I think I don't actually know I don't know many of them this year I can't lie isn't it awkward right and I'm a celeb when they meet like what's that guy I think he was from Hollyoaks the Hollyoaks actor and he goes

over to boy George he's like what's your name mate and like surely boy George is looking at him thinking like it's boy George it's boy George to you like is that not awkward like when you go and I'm a celeb you're like shit what if I ask someone who they are and I should just know do you know what I mean like imagine like walking over to boy George and saying what's your name mate he's like as if you don't know my name George it's George and you what's your name I've never seen your face before do you know what I mean it's a bit awkward isn't it like imagine going on I'm seven everyone's like what's your name you've like well I'm fucking irrelevant aren't I do you know what I mean like that would be a fear of mine because I'm definitely gonna go on I'm celeb because I'm seven everyone's like what's your name you've like well I'm fucking irrelevant aren't I do you know what I mean like that would be a fear of mine because I'm definitely gonna go on I'm

celeb because I'm such a major celebrity you know do you know one show I would love to do you have to be a celebrity to do it so it's never gonna happen I mean maybe I'll just have overnight stardom like Justin Bieber but I'd love to go on um Strictly I've always wanted to be good at dancing and I just feel like if I was forced to I would be quite good like I've just got this thing in me that I just have I'm convinced I'll be like this just goddess on the dance floor. I wouldn't be like I'd literally be a big clumsy clown. But gosh, I mean, I'd really enjoy it. But anyway, what a boring, long intro. Just shut up, Mia. Get on with it. I hope you guys are OK. We've got some really cool dilemmas. I mean, they they're not cool they're literally your real lives

and I can only apologize but some some a few different angles today like we it's not just like the typical ones that we talk about earlier on the line oh my god I can tell it's gonna be a day full of stuttering I just can't get my words out I'm also getting worse with doing an accent all the time and I can I can literally feel how irritating that is like I can literally hear it and I'm annoyed and like whenever my boyfriend does American accent it annoys me and I'm like can you just stop doing that accent like it just really annoys me yeah I'm such a hypocrite because I don't even speak in an English accent barely ever but he'll be like yeah that's fantastic and I'll be like can you please stop doing that because it actually really

really really irritates me but But anyway, I can only apologize to be honest. I've just, I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like it was, it started as a joke and now I'm just multiple personalities. The Australian's always going to be a favorite though. Do you know what I mean? Okay guys, without further ado, let's get into the episode. get into the episode. Okay, you guys, the weekly debate this week is actually inspired by one of the dilemmas that is up and coming, up and coming, that makes it sound like it's like trendy, it's up and coming, coming up, right? And it is. Oh my god, why did I take such a deep breath? It ain't that long. So I need to exhale. I filled my lungs up too much then. has anyone ever tried to breathe in time with their dog because I tried doing it the other day like obviously not thinking about the fact that my dog's literally a toy poodle so the size of her

lungs her lungs is not the same as mine and I was trying to breathe like in sync with her like watching her back go up and down I was like trying to breathe at the same time and she breathes like she takes in these like little breaths and she holds it for ages. Then she finally exhales and like, I nearly passed out. I literally passed out. And then I was just sat to myself thinking, what are you doing? Leah, you're 25 years old and you're having the same thoughts that like a nine year old child would have. And then I just carried on with my day and didn't really want to acknowledge what might actually be wrong with me. But anyway, back to the weekly debate it is if your partner said they don't ever want to get married but you

do would this be a deal breaker so I think a lot of you might have misinterpreted the question so the question was if your partner wanted to get married and you do like you want to get married because a lot of you were like oh no, no, I'm not actually that bothered. But, like, imagine if you were bothered. And you're like, I have, like, let's say you're one of those people that's like, I know what dress I'm wearing. Like, I've thought about marriage. I can't wait to be a wife. Like, say that's on your, like, to-do list in your life.

You meet this guy that you fall in love with. And he's like, I'm not getting married. No way. There's no way. I hate marriage. Or, like, no, I just don't believe in it. Or like, no, waste of money, waste of time. It's a piece of paper. Because obviously, loads of people believe that, which I can completely understand. So if you are on complete opposite pages, is that a deal breaker? So let's read your responses. One of you says, yes, 100,000%. Yes, always discuss these things before you're too deep in a relationship. But then it's the difficult thing because it's like,

how can you discuss this before it's deep? Imagine it's not that deep and you're like, so do you want to get married? Do you know what I mean? But then also it's fair. It's a fair thing to say because of this reason exactly. So yeah, you you are right um get married however oh i'm reading the second half of her response okay no i think marriage is getting old now unless people are getting married i would love to get married however it definitely isn't a deal breaker in my opinion oh okay so you're like yeah i want to but like it's not a deal breaker if he doesn't like i'm happy to compromise and not um not for me, but I know girls who it probably would be. Somebody says, yes, why do you have such bad commitment issues? Will they even be able to

commit to me? Yeah, I get you. It's like, is is it because like surely part of you would think it's because you you want to you know be able to end the relationship as simply as possible like if you decide you don't want to be with me which you're suggesting is a possibility you want that to be doable without having to go through divorce you know that would that would ring in my head for sure um 100 if you go along with it you have to accept their mind may never change absolutely valid valid valid point oh this is literally my problem right now but i love him so much oh no that is so shit maybe you're the girl that sent me the dilemma oh my god who knows we'll get to it alarm bells that they wouldn't commit but i also think the need

for marriage isn't as important now marriage isn't the be-all or end-all but i'd still question why because what the fuck marry me yeah um this is my situation he doesn't believe in it but the older i get the less i care i'm 27 now right so this is a case of like you wanted it but you're just having to accept that it's not gonna wanted it but you're just having to accept that it's not gonna it's not gonna be in your story you know oh I feel sad about that um how to the yeah put that ring on my finger honey yeah girl yes absolutely I can't change someone's opinion and you'll resent them deep down that's a great point like at the time marriage might feel so far away for you that you're like oh yeah it's fine like we're not gonna get married whatever and then you might get to an age where you one day you thought you maybe imagined that you would get married around that age and you might get to that age

and be like oh I'm never going to get that now you know that could oh that would be kind of shit um if he if he compromised and we got engaged I would be okay with it I just want the ring lol but the point of an engagement is you're engaged like you're getting married so that's I didn't get that like that would be shit for me because it means nothing like imagine proposing like will you marry me like when you propose to someone you say will you marry me and then you have to say yeah so if he's gonna turn around and be like right i'm gonna propose to you but we're not having a wedding i'm not getting married and you're like okay okay i just want an engagement ring then people will be like when are you getting

married and when you get married and you're gonna have to be like we're not i just want i just wanted to be engaged like he didn't want to get married and i did so we did half you know um no marriage isn't everything and doesn't determine your length of relationship i think maybe you mean strength but or length i guess it's a deal breaker definitely something to discuss near the start of the relationship um no but i'd be disappointed it means a lot to me i'd be asking why it doesn't to him yeah for sure but i can totally see why there are like a ton of people that don't want to get married like I can totally understand why my mum's one of those people she's never ever wanted to get married um and I mean put it this way listen to this my dad obviously was with my mum they neither

of them ever wanted to get married they've been separated since I was tiny but my dad recently got married and he was like that was never a thing for him like he was never gonna get married they've been separated since I was tiny but my dad recently got married and he was like that was never a thing for him like he was never gonna get married and he recently got married so that would be scary to me because I'd be like is it me am I the drama like you'd be a bit like you know surely if it was right I could change your mind you know like my dad's mind was changed he was like actually you know I want to be married now I never thought I would but I do which is crazy like imagine yeah I okay I haven't actually said my opinion my opinion is I'm not one of those people that's like I know what wedding dress I want I want this venue like

this color scheme like I've never been that kid that's like imagined her wedding day but every time I think about getting married it makes me feel really like oh like it'd be so sweet like I would love to be married I would love to be a wife and have someone's last name well not someone's hopefully the guy I'm with now you know not here to waste any time babe do you know what I mean but you know like I love the thought of being someone's wife and having a husband and being like it's me and you forever like I love the thought of someone getting down on one knee and proposing to me and be like I want to spend my whole life with you like I actually love that like imagine someone looks at you and they think I know there is no

one else for me that is the most incredible feeling like I love you so much I want me and you forever forever and ever till the day we die oh I can't think about that geez but that's what I love about it so if I was with somebody and they were like no never get married it's not an option for me I'd feel gutted because I'd almost feel like you're taking that opportunity away from me like you're taking away something that I will now never be able to experience ever do you know what I mean because it's like I can't do this alone I can't do that alone like I kind of need you on board babe and if they weren't then I'd be I'd feel like you're taking that away from me so I'm not I don't know if it's a deal breaker I think I'd be one of them idiots that's like well yeah that's totally

fine like say I was dating someone and they were like oh yeah I don't think I want to get married but I really liked him like I would convince myself I'm going to change his mind and then like six years down the line he'd be like I told you from day one we aren't getting married and I'd be like yeah you did do that do you know what I mean so I'd be the idiot that thinks it's going to change and then I'd be heartbroken and have to find myself a husband so that's a difficult debate guys are you i'd say you're pretty 50 50 like half of you are like i'd like to get married but i'm not like willing to lose a soulmate over it you know i mean like if i really truly believe with soulmates then that's fine like i can not marry him if it's really not something he wants but for me i'm i don't i'm on the fence because I'm like 75% that's a deal breaker. So pretty high, I suppose.

Yeah, interesting. Honestly, that's really difficult. But honestly, this is a great lead into our dilemmas. So get comfortable, guys. We have some fantastic dilemmas today. Get comfortable, get a cup of tea, get a glass of glass of wine whatever you want and let's get into some dilemmas okay everyone i feel like this is the perfect one to kick it off so let's just dive straight into it it says hey leah this is probably a short dilemma but i could really do with yours and the listeners advice my partner has been married previously in the past he is now divorced that's the belief he said to me he won't ever marry again do you think this is a deal breaker do you think he'll change his mind I recently saw his wedding photo album and it made me feel upset is it normal to feel this way thanks

we are in our 20s okay So I feel like 20s is vague because like 21, 22, 23, it's like early 27, 28, 29. It's a whole transition, I feel like. So that's a difficult one because I don't really know the ages we're talking. But if he's married, I'm going to assume you can't be like early, early 20s. But then I suppose he could have got married like super young so who knows but I I feel like this is really really tricky because especially looking at the photo album first of all why the fuck have you still got it where the fuck have you got that wedding album second of all why did she get to experience that and because it didn't go well, that means I, you're going to take that from me. Like we're never going to have that. I'm never going to have that.

You know, why did she get it? Like that would hurt, like to be like, she got to marry you. Like you, she got to experience you getting down on one knee and saying, will you marry me? And I'm not going to, like, that that is so hard that's a hard pill to swallow but also it's like I can really understand why it would put him off because it's like that was probably a really difficult thing to accept like a divorce a failed marriage like do you know what I mean like that can be that can be a really hard thing to sort of accept and get your head around because it can it was probably quite hard for him and traumatic to be honest so I can see why he'd be like I ain't fucking doing that again but then

it's like why should you suffer you know like it's hard because I get it like I do get his side but at the same time I really really I really sympathize for you because I just think that would be a horrible way to feel especially knowing somebody else got it like it's not just a case of like nah I don't really fancy getting married it's like he did he did but then I don't know maybe maybe he never did but she might have convinced him and then he was like and everyone is getting rid of the fucking first place and look how that turned out do you know what i mean so it's tricky because i really do see your side and how it can be how it can hurt you um i think it's a case of like similar to all the responses in the weekly debate

whether you're willing to accept that you know will he change his mind who knows I suppose it depends how recent the divorce was how big it was like was it this huge thing like was it like a massive we're getting divorced a huge shock to everyone like was it really overwhelming was how was the wedding like was it a good experience for him did he like being a husband I think there's a lot more to it than whether he will change his mind like I don't I don't know I don't know him you know but I think the only advice I have for you is if it's something you really really really really really really want um to have a conversation of like do you think you'll ever change your mind because I really want to be a wife and I really want to get married and if you

don't think that's something you will ever give me like if you can say to me now I'm never gonna marry you that's something I'm gonna have to take a minute to process and decide if that's something I can accept do you know what I mean um imagine like I suppose it's the same with like if somebody doesn't want kids you know like and you were like oh I've always wanted to have kids and he's like I don't want I don't want children do you know what I mean it's like a big life thing obviously having children's bit more of a commitment than marriage but it's like you know not commitment to each other I mean life commitment but whatever it's like this is a huge thing that people plan and imagine in their lives from a young age sometimes so it's like it depends how you feel about it do you really really

want it do you think you can accept that that might not be in your in your future um and how sure you are about this person being the one you know um I cannot give you advice on this to be honest I cannot all I can say is I sympathize for you I also see his side um and I think maybe just have a conversation of like do you really think this isn't gonna happen for me and then if he's like yeah babe I can look you in the eyes and say you can't change my mind I'm sorry you can't then there's sort of the information you need to process and be like okay what am I gonna do here do you know what I mean please have this conversation and please let us all know what he says like i'm dying to know like if he's like i don't know i'm not 100 do you know i mean just

right now in my life i just really don't want to go through that again or if he's like babe no i'm sorry yeah i love you so much and i'm so sorry because this would be awful. I'm so sorry for you. Like this is it's shit. Oh, hiccup. Oh my God. I don't really hiccup on the podcast that much anymore. Do I remember I used to do that all the time? Throwback. Anyway, I love you so much and I am sorry. And just, yeah, keep us updated. But remember, you're amazing and you know, you deserve happiness, baby girl. I love you so much. Okay. Next dilemma. So it says, Hey girl, love you deserve happiness baby girl I love you so much okay next dilemma so it says hey girl love you and your pod I love you so much I need some advice if I'm overthinking a situation and if I just need to relax or if there's red flags slash commitment issues let's get into it so I've been dating someone since September we We started talking in August. Things are going amazing. It's just like sparks are flying every time we're together and the sex is amazing.

The most passionate sex I've ever had. He's taking me on holiday the end of this month and we're just starting to meet each other's family. Oh, okay. So we're getting pretty serious and we speak about our future plans and things we'd like to do together. Okay, gorge. We've both said we're happy how we are, etc. And both agree on how amazing the sex is. And he said he's never been this affectionate with someone before. But with me, it just feels right. Stunning.

We spoke about being official. And he said comments like, We both know where this is heading and we've got all the time in the world. So there's no rush. And I agreed. Although I just want to be official now. And he said, There's no pressure. Just enjoy being where we are in the world so there's no rush and I agreed although I just want to be official now and he said there's no pressure just enjoy being where we are in the moment does this sound to you like he has commitment issues is there any red flags I'm worried by these comments that he's

pushing back on making us official or am I just overthinking and it's normal to say these things two months in help me I know the strong connection is on both sides but i can't help but be worried we will never be official and that he has commitment issues love you bye i love you too so much wow okay that's tough because i feel like two months is enough time to sort of know but then i also know that there's like a ton of people that will be seeing someone for like six months before they're official. Like some people just really drag out the scene each other time. Whereas I've I don't think I've ever been seeing someone for more than two months. So it's tricky because I do feel like, you know, if you want to be in a relationship with someone two months in, I feel like, you know, at that point, do not. And we all know, like we've done this

on the podcast guys don't play hard to get they don't play games if you want if they want you you'll know about it like they have said it themselves over here on the other line so the fact that he's like you know there's no rush I'm like it's been two months I'm not rushing do you know what I mean like I feel like that's a pretty normal time to put a label on it. But like I said, I do know that a lot of people do that. Like a lot of people are just like, yeah, we're just taking it slow. We're just chilling. So to me, it does sound a bit like he's not sure yet. That has to be sort of the only reason you wouldn't. No. Am I, am I being dumb by thinking that? Like, surely the only thing that wouldn't no am I am I being dumb by thinking that like surely the only thing that stops you from doing that is either you're talking to other people or you're not sure

if you if this person is like relationship material or because the idea of committing to somebody isn't a comfortable feeling like they're the only things I can kind of come up with what it might be I don't know if that makes me really dumb but that's just my genuine opinion like I don't know what else it could be like is he talking to anyone else I don't know it seems really serious between you two I feel like if you you're meeting each other's family he's taking a holiday then he can't be and if he is then what the fuck so I feel like we can kind of rule that one out pretty pretty confidently I can rule that one out other two options were that he isn't sure if you're like the girlfriend material or because the idea of having a girlfriend might be scary to him you

know like how long was his longest relationship when was his longest relationship how did it end who is she like i these are the questions i'd be asking myself not him i'd be wondering like when did you last have a breakup like how long was your relationship have you had a long-time relationship before will i be your first girlfriend like why is it why aren't you sure yet i think that's the only thing I can sort of whittle it down to is like he's just not sure and whether that be because he's not sure about you or because he's not sure he wants a girlfriend I'm not sure I'm not sure why he's not sure but I feel like two months is an okay time like it's not like it's been like six months and you're

like oh my god don't take the piss out of me like you're literally taking the piss out of me so I feel like we can wait a little bit longer you know like whatever take your time take your time take your sweet ass time but I think maybe set like a time in your head of like how much time you're willing to give this boy before you feel like you're sort of being taken for granted maybe I don't know like I feel like personally if I was seeing someone for four months and I knew I wanted to be his girlfriend and we weren't there yet that's almost confirmation for me that we're not on the same page like you don't want that because four months I'm not giving anyone more than four months of my time if you're still not sure about me like for me at that point I'm out of there I'm gone like for me

that's enough like I've given you enough of my time do you know what I mean so yeah I feel like it's difficult because you don't want to keep applying the pressure and keep bringing it up in conversation and being like why aren't I your girlfriend when are you gonna ask me how long do you need it's been two months what are you not sure about because that's when he's just gonna be like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa leave me alone it's a no but at the same time how much time are you trying to take off me like do you know how lucky you are do you know how lucky you have me yeah lock it up babe lock me down quick before someone else does yeah are you exclusive i'd like to know that i'd like to know that but yeah that's

my thoughts on that one keep us all updated as always if he does ask you please let us know asap we're all rooting for you but i don't think it's massively concerning. It's two months, not like four, five, six. I think we can wait a little bit longer if he needs it, you know, whatever. But, you know, just keep all those things in mind. Okay. I love you so much. Next day, Lama. Okay. This one is a little bit different to something we've spoken about before, but it's interesting. Hey, Leah, absolutely love the podcast and have been a listener since day one i love you so much i would love to get your take on this as i'm not sure it's something i've heard you discuss before okay girl i got you basically to cut a long story short i'm pretty sure my sister-in-law

let's call her sally lol dislikes me slash is jealous of me. I'm closer to her parents' sister, our other sister-in-law. Wait, I'm closer to her parents. Oh, oh, oh, I read that wrong. I read that wrong. I'm closer to her partner's sister. Oh my God. Wait, I'm so confused. Right. Your sister-in-law. So your brother's oh my god no leah what the hell i'm actually there's actually something wrong with my brain so your boyfriend's sister sally dislikes you and you're closer to sally's partner's sister how do you know sally's partner's sister because that's like a oh my god that's fucking frying my brain that has my brain's frazzled at that point anyway continuing on so you're close to another one okay and closer to our mother-in-law

too okay so basically you're wait wait so it's your boyfriend's brother's girlfriend i literally can't wrap my head around that. Is everyone else getting it and just, I'm just not. I think it's her boyfriend's brother's sister. Oh my God. Her boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, because you have the same mother-in-law. So that makes sense. You're basically the girlfriends to the family, right? I think that's what I'm getting here. Okay. Shut up Leah leah okay let's go with that for now until i change my mind okay and closer to our mother-in-law too the reason i get this vibe is because she never wants to chat slash be friendly outside of family gatherings

and i find this odd as we have quite a lot of common interests and both have little boys so it'd be nice if they could see each other and build that close cousin bond I had with my cousins growing up. However she's not interested. I've also noticed that she never compliments me but has started to buy the same outfits she's seen me wear which I find odd. She's even started buying her little boy the same style clothes that I dress my son in, totally different from what she'd usually choose my ad which is why I noticed. Okay I often tell her how nice she looks if we're at a family occasion and it's never reciprocated. So you're like oh my god Sally you look so pretty and she's like thanks rather than like oh so do you. She's like yeah I know you look horrible. Okay continue on. It's like she can't bring herself to make me feel good about myself.

She also never acknowledges my posts on social media, but is always active on there and always engages with other family members posts. My partner and our other sister-in-law, for example. Holy fuck. How many sister-in-laws are there? I'm literally so confused. Right. I actually asked why she does this and it was turned on to me that I shouldn't care about social media so much. Shut up.

Actually, shut up. That's rude. That's actually rude. She's definitely online snubbing me, but of course can't admit it as that would make her look childish. She even ignores cute photos of my son, her nephew, because I'm the one posting them.

I just can't help but feel that this is totally uncalled for. She also made a comment recently where we were at our mother-in-law's about how we get special treatment because my mother-in-law bought some wine she knew i liked okay weird thing to say our mother-in-law doesn't treat me any differently but we do make more effort to see and spend more time with her so maybe we're closer due to that and she doesn't like it she was part of the family for quite a lot of years before i came along only two and a half years ago okay so i think i'm right in the fact that it's you're the girlfriends it's

not your boyfriend's sister it's your boyfriend's brother's sister oh my god i mean boyfriend's brother's girlfriend fucking hell yeah okay continuing on a lot of which was spent not seeing her due to lockdown and i'm wondering if she doesn't like that I've taken the limelight off of her and she's no longer the one and only daughter slash sister-in-law in the family. I know it sounds trivial and petty, but I struggle not to take it personally when she behaves in this way. It's also causing a few issues between my boyfriend and I, the father to my son,

as I don't like the fact a member of his family doesn't seem to like me and I'm getting to the point where I don't want to spend time at family functions. My boyfriend and I are both real family people so this is a horrible way to film and it brings a downer onto our relationship. What would you do in this situation? How can I stop letting this petty behavior bother me? I actually want to delete all social media just so I don't have to put up with her doing things to prove a point. I realize it's probably not that deep but I'd love to get your take on why people snub others online as i don't think i've heard you discuss this topic before what does that mean what does snub people online mean i literally don't know what that means all i want is to get on with my partner's family and not be worrying about someone disliking me

when there's no reason for her to i've never been anything but kind to her i know if i raise this it will be turned back onto me and i'll be made to look like the bad guy and told that I'm overthinking things any advice much appreciated whoa that was a little bit much for my little chipmunk brain okay but I think I get it I think I get it you're the girlfriends of the family and she just is a bit cold with you doesn't make you feel very liked i am telling you now she's jealous i'm telling you now she's jealous i don't know what her star sign is but it's giving leo like i know i'm a leo and that's why i can say that because we tend to like being center attention like we tend to like it but you know we're not all nasty cold unwelcome and rude bitches okay like like little miss sister-in-law over here i think she's jealous because she probably really liked

having more attention before you came along and now you're sort of closer to people and people probably like you maybe a little bit more and I think she sees you as competition I do especially because you both have like your little boys and like you're both the girlfriends of the family and she obviously really likes your fashion sense which you know as Drake says imitation isn't flattering it's just annoying me something like that honestly who actually knows what the lyric is is it even imitation I don't even know literally pointless shut up Leah um I think she's jealous I think she feels like you are some sort of competition do not delete your social media I think what we need to work on is just not giving a shit like who actually cares like we need to get

to a point where we don't need her to like you do you know what i mean like i don't okay you know what i can see you for who you are i can see that you feel like we're in competition i don't i personally don't feel that way about you you know if you are really successful looking gorgeous one day i'm happy for you yeah if something amazing happens in your life i'm happy for you if you walk downstairs and you've got this gorgeous outfit on, I'm happy to tell you because you don't make me feel insecure about myself, right? If you come downstairs looking gorgeous, ready to go out for a family meal, she feels insecure and she feels inferior to you. So she ain't going to tell you you look good because that's made her feel shit.'s my gut feeling on this one so I personally would just switch your mentality of like I know you are jealous of me and I'm not

jealous of you I'm happy for you I'm always cheering you on whether you're cheering me on or not and I hope great gorgeous amazing things happen in your life and you might not wish the same for me and that's okay I don't need you to you know I think maybe try and switch the mentality of like I'm not even gonna look if you like my pictures I'm not even gonna see I'm not even gonna show up to family gatherings thinking about how you're gonna make me feel because you I'm not giving you the power to make me feel anything anymore. Yeah, because I love this family and they love me. Unfortunately for you. Unfortunately for you. They like me better than you. They like me better than you. Because you're a jealous bit of bitch and I'm lovely and kind.

But I just think it's jealousy and I just think, whatever. Like, whatever. Like, who cares? Like, if she doesn't like you, even if it wasn't jealousy, like, even if she just thought she's just not my cup of tea, I don't like her at all, don't like her one bit, who cares? If you, like I always say, like I said in the self-love episode, if you know you're a good person, you know you treat people well, you know you've never been horrible to her, you know you never do anything to make her feel like shit, you know you never do anything to make her uncomfortable, if you can say that then who cares that's the truth yeah i love you and who cares i'm bothered i'm bothered vibes who cares yeah love you next dilemma okay guys this one it's just pure chaos like wish me luck actually pray for me getting through this but it's confusing it's confusing

but it's juicy okay get get comfortable for this one I love you hey Leah absolutely love your podcast I listen to it on my way to work every morning and it really sets me up for the day oh I love you I hope you're having a great commute to work today have an amazing day I love you so much so my my dilemma. At the time of this happening, I'd been with my boyfriend for seven years and we were then looking at getting a house together. I randomly get a message one day on Facebook from a boy I didn't know. Let's call him Alex. The message ended up in my request, so I saw it a few days later than it was sent. It stated that I needed to speak to my boyfriend about his night

out and my heart immediately began to race i'm sorry i am sorry who sends a message like that imagine getting that message hey babe hey leah no i'm not gonna manifest that hey babe imagine imagine this hey babe um so sorry i just think I should give you a heads up, you should probably talk to your boyfriend about what happened on Saturday night, actually fuck off, like actually don't do that to anyone, if you've got some information, you tell me, you tell me the information, don't do that to someone, okay, anyway, sorry, continuing on, as a bit of background, my boyfriend is quite reserved, works 99% of the time and as a result rarely goes out anyway he'd gone on a night out prior to me getting this message with his friends so i assumed that this

was the one in question this is written very well it's very easy for my little brain to follow she says before she starts to stumble i ask alex for more details and he explains that after my boyfriend's night out he went back to his friend's house with his friends and alex's girlfriend we will call her amy okay everyone follow him i think i'm on board and her friends apparently my boyfriend and amy kissed so alex has come into your dms and said your boyfriend's kissed my girlfriend i think that's what's happening i didn't realize he went back to his friends after his night out. So I immediately grew suspicious. Yeah. So you're already like, this is all news to me. Like I

didn't know this happened. Right. I confronted him about this and he swears nothing happened. He said, Alex came to pick Amy up in a rage after about 10 minutes. So Alex wasn't there. Okay. So you and Alex are the boyfriend and girlfriend of said people and either of you at this place your partners are at an after party together and apparently they kissed and then alex was going to pick amy up really angry for some reason okay i really complicated that didn't i okay so um alex went to pick amy up in a rage after 10 minutes oh my god i literally hate myself after about 10 minutes after them arriving at his friends having been arguing with her all night i'm assuming over text because i'm getting the vibe alex wasn't part of this night out okay

he stated that in those 10 minutes him and his friends were just chatting to amy and her friend innocently his other two mates and her two mates were in the bedrooms separately okay so amy and alex were only no not alex your boyfriend amy and your boyfriend were only at this party for 10 minutes after party and then alex comes to pick her up in a rage okay sorry i have to talk things through because otherwise i just don't get it i'm really unable to follow things at the moment this is really not an ideal um person to be reading a podcast like this is it just shut up i'm literally sick of myself um if you haven't clicked off honestly thank you i actually love you i also checked with a friend that he was supposedly with as my boyfriend

was at work at the time with limited access to his phone so for this was the perfect time to check the stories and his story matched my boyfriend's okay so you've done a bit of research here and all all the clues are adding up yeah perfect this is a relief anyway my boyfriend apologized for not telling me he went back to his friends but said he didn't tell me as he knew i would be annoyed at the situation too right honey which is true as all his friends are single although one is never interested in girls which is the one he was with okay that's always reassuring isn't it let's be honest he said that amy had been arguing with alex all night and that he grew even angrier at the fact that she went back to my boyfriend's friend's house with her friends okay so alex just was getting a bit jealous and possessive

and didn't want his girlfriend going to this after party so he got all pissed off and went and picked her up they can troll him if he asked me whatever okay i confronted alex's girlfriend isn't it sally did we call her sally i'm pretty sure we called her sally oh i've just realized sally was from the last dilemma okay well we're calling alex's girlfriend sally for this one just for my brain okay guys got it everyone on board because I certainly am not I confronted Alex's girlfriend and she denied everything and apologized that this situation had occurred and said her boyfriend was extremely jealous as she worked with my boyfriend Alex saw him as easy ammunition as he was angry and thought it'd be more believable choice okay but what why would Alex just want to like destroy a relationship

like what does alex have against your boyfriend that he wants to destroy a relationship and why would he want people going around thinking that his girlfriend cheated on him that doesn't make sense to me okay i confronted alex with this and she and he said she was just scared of telling me and scared of my boyfriend. He print screened me cryptic messages from her to him of her apologizing to him, but she never said she cheated on him. Okay. So we get an apology, but we're not getting clarification on what for. Anyway, I decided to trust my extinct again i'm gonna assume she means instinct anyway i decided to trust my instinct and believe my boyfriend as i do trust him and didn't want to chuck our eight-year relationship away for the sake of a teenage relationship that sounded very toxic

i blocked both of them because the situation really affected my mental health and didn't want to be a pawn in their really fucked up game still to this day i think about it now oh i think about it now and then and although i've decided to trust his word over hers i still wonder why it was him that was targeted and how random this would have been just to make up we've now been together for 10 years and are in the best place we could ever be i however would love your thoughts and advice on what you would have done had you have been me love you bye oh my god i can only apologize for the actual mess I made of that dilemma. I'm starting to think I should just quit this podcast because I don't have what it takes.

Like, I actually don't. I'm joking. Please, please don't back up that idea. I really don't want to give up this podcast. It is literally everything to me. Anyway, so let me do a little summarize for my brain and for anybody who I just made it painful to get through that so oh my goodness so your boyfriend's gone a night out he's gone to an after party with a girl this girl's boyfriend's gone they cheated on us with each other and everyone's gone no they didn't that never happened basically that's literally the story in short right and you're like okay i believe my boyfriend because his friend story backed it up she's denied it the only person that's actually saying this has happened

is her boyfriend and he wasn't there okay and you decide to forgive him, blah, blah, blah, you've been together 10 years and you're still on your mind. My personal thoughts is, I don't, I don't condone cheating, okay? But I feel like if you've decided to take his word for it, you just have to work on forgetting about the situation. Like you just have to then go okay this is the decision I've made and you made it years ago now like this happened when you were together seven years and now it's been 10 so this has been years um and that was a decision you decided to make years ago so I think there was there's no going back like there's no point end in the relationship now do you know I mean you you're in the best place you've ever been you said so it's like well you're not just

going to end the relationship that's not an option so i think the only thing you can do is go right i decided that i believe him i decided i'm not going to listen to outside noise i'm going to trust my boyfriend i'm going to trust the relationship for what I believe it is and it's just me and him over the world against the world yeah so I think we have to forget about the situation it's been years you've decided you believe him so we're going to stick with that we aren't going to think about it ever again every time it comes into your head we're going to go nope not doing it stop enough we're not going to talk to ourselves we're not going to keep bringing it up. It's only going to cause damage to yourself, to your trust, to your relationship, to the way that you look at him,

to the way that you look at the relationship, to the way that you see yourself. And there's no point. So I think every time it comes into your head, we say, no, enough. Not doing that. I'm not doing that to myself. I deserve better than that. I love myself. This is what I've decided to do and I'm sticking with it. It's been years now. What's the point thinking about this anymore? And I do think it's easier to sort of get past this because it was just a rumoured kiss

where all signs would point into bullshit. All signs would point into there's this fucking guy that's made it up for whatever fucked up reason compared to sex or like a whole affair like it was just this guy who said oh your boyfriends kiss my girlfriend and everyone's gone no they didn't so i think don't think about it anymore it was three years ago you've made your decision let's stick with it we believe the boyfriend we love our boyfriend everything is fine my relationship's the best it's ever been why am i going to keep thinking about it i don't deserve to live like that yeah that's my honest opinion i think fuck it who fucking cares anymore it's been three years

you believe your boyfriend and that's all that matters okay i love you so much you're amazing and just enjoy this relationship because you said it's the best it's ever been so just enjoy it and love it because i love you so much okay guys gorge absolutely loved it i feel like i just absolutely murdered every single dilemma this week like i literally just could not get it out i just don't what's wrong with me i just don't oh before i go i actually thought of something that i've never mentioned on the podcast like a really juicy secret so you guys this oh my god sorry this is really important like i actually can't believe i've never mentioned this on the podcast it's totally off topic from anything we've discussed this week but fuck it i just want to say it while

i'm here so do you want to know if your boyfriend has nudes on his phone because i can show you how to do it i've literally got a hack okay this is toxic just a little warning disclaimer toxic all right but if you've got an inkling that he might have nudes if there's rumors if you feel like you might have seen it one time i can help you unless it's in like a little safe app or like in his um hidden album then this won't work but if it's in his public photo album which he never is and he's a fucking idiot and he deserves to be caught i mean they all deserve to be caught but whatever here's what we're gonna do we get our boyfriend's phone. Again, not congenialist behavior. It's toxic. Okay. It's toxic. But if you have reason to think this and do this,

if your gut's telling you, I can just help. I can help. You can do it on your own phone to test it. We open the camera roll. We search brassiere. I can never remember how you pronounce that word, but I'm pretty sure it's brassiere. I always think it's brasserie, but that's a cafe. Yeah. We search brassiere. I think that's how you say it. Brassiere. When you search that on your camera roll, comes up with nudes, comes up with underwear pics, comes up with bikini pics, do it on your phone. Yeah. Okay. bikini pics do it on your phone yeah okay and if you do it on your boyfriend's phone god fucking help you it scares me like who has anxiety right now who's going home to do this please don't it's actually scary but i remember when i gave the

only fans tip of how how to find out if your boyfriend has an account on OnlyFans, like to try and sign up with his email address, right? And you guys loved it. So when I remembered this hack that I saw, I think I saw it on TikTok. Or what? No, it was like a meme. I saw it like on Twitter, like one of those meme pictures. And I've carried it through my life. Listen, I've not done it. Well, I have done it actually. I have done it once. I've done it. All right. I had to test it. I had to do it. And it works, basically. Granted, I did it on my own phone too. Lots of bikiniini pics i did it recently actually it came up with all my holiday pics i was like that's depressing i'd love to go on holiday right

now but anyway that's a little toxic tip for you toxic leah on the line toxic tips that's an episode toxic tips no let's not encourage toxic behavior shall we no no no no no but anyway i just like say you have like say there's a rumor that someone's been sending news to your boyfriend maybe this will be helpful for you i'm just trying to look out for you i'm not trying to cause any toxic relationships okay but it might save you you never know you never know when you might need to pull that trick out the bag so i just felt like i should it would be wrong of me to keep that to myself i mean there's probably a ton of you that already know that so I imagine that's not even like a secret everyone's like we know yeah we literally

know we've known this since 2013 but anyway let's just wrap up the episode shall we okay guys I laughed this week I mean I'm really annoyed at myself because i just couldn't speak there she couldn't get my words out i just don't know what's the matter with me it's really bothering me to be honest i'm just getting me quite depressed is like numerical dyslexia a thing because i think i have it like can you be dyslexic with maths because when I tell you it's actually scary like how bad I am at maths like I'm convinced I've done the right equation in my head and I will explain it to you and I will explain to you five times and you will tell me it's wrong and I don't believe you like I'll be five add 11 is 21 wait it is five 11 oh my god see see that was not fake that was not fake i did not put that on for the cameras i believe that in my head then this is what happens i really believe

it what is 11 add 5 16 16 12 13 14 15 16. And I just was convinced it was 21. And this is what happens to me. And it's actually really embarrassing because when I tell you I'm being serious, I'm being serious. I think it's 21 and it happens. And I'll be like this. I'm like, yes, it is. And my mom, like my boyfriend, my sister, my brother, they're like, no, it isn't. It's 16. And I'll be like, it's 21. Are are you stupid they're like you you're actually there's actually something wrong with your brain like if you think that that's the answer to that maths question there's actually something wrong with you and i do and i was watching locked in the other day where they're doing the maths game and i was playing and answering out loud and i was wrong

on every single one and i was convinced and they were quite easy like these guys are smashing them out smashing out the answers and I was convinced I was like easy 41 wrong I was like oh my god that's so easy it's obviously 12 wrong is it a thing please tell me if that's actually a thing because I think I've got it yeah so I'm concerned for my brain I think basically if I ever told you guys a story about when I got knocked out as a child? I don't know if I ever have. Basically, I banged heads with someone and apparently I was completely knocked unconscious. I feel like I have told this story, but anyway, I pissed myself. I was like in primary school. I think I was year six at the time

and I remember feeling like I'd woken up in maths class and then I spoke to my friend and she was like, what's the matter with you? And I was like, where am I? Like, how did I get here? Why am I in my pyjama shorts? I mean, PE shorts, pyjama shorts, PE shorts. And she was like, oh, you weed yourself. And I was like, what? I weed my pants.

And she was like, yeah, you literally, we were playing chase, like you do. And I banged heads with this guy called cameron actually and apparently i was just out cold and i was on the floor and i'm weeding my pants and what the fuck is that quite scary anyway i went to hospital that night to have like an x-ray on my brain but the wait was two hours so my dad was like well do you feel all right and i was like yeah and he's like let's just go so we left and i never got an x-ray in my brain but i think that's why i can't count honestly i lost my memory that day because i felt like i woke up in maths and my memory as a child is really quite blurry like i can't remember much like when i look at photos i'm like i don't

remember that you know what i mean like say when you're 20 and you look at a picture from when you was 10 so 10 years ago you remember that like you remember that jumper you remember the house you were in you remember the park but then when you're 15 and you look at a picture from when you was five you don't remember that you don't remember that time we don't remember that jump you don't remember that dress you don't remember that sofa well do you because i certainly don't and maybe it's all thanks to cameron honestly seriously but isn't that crazy and it still bothers me to this day because i still don't get it i still don't get what happened to me why did i feel like i woke up in the middle of a lesson like it's like i just was like zoom and i'm in my body you know like when you get hypnotized and they're like you're back in the middle of a lesson like it's like i just was like zoom and i'm in my body you know

like when you get hypnotized and they're like you're back in the room that's actually what it felt like i was looking around me thinking how the fuck did i get here how did i get here but maybe i lost my memory in that second maybe my memory went then and i was like where am i isn't that crazy like this happened this is a story this happened to me i'm not joking and maybe it's why i can't read maybe it's why i can i'm not joking and maybe it's why i can't read maybe it's why i can't understand dilemmas maybe it's why i can't count i can't talk maybe it's why i've got five personalities you know what i mean so anyway this is it she's so annoying please i hope you guys aren't sick of me you're about to be sick of me i hope you're not don't

talk to me i'll murder you The pain of my heart. Who loves that? I'm going to kill my mom. I'm going to kill my grandma. That's not how it goes. I'm going to kill my dad. Oh my God. This is what I need. This is all thanks to Cameron. What's happened to my brain? Thank you, Cameron. You've ruined my brain. my brain is scrambled to pieces thanks to your big head in the playground anyway I love you guys so much I hope you have the best week I can't wait to talk to you guys on Friday and yeah you guys are amazing send me all your confessions oh my god I haven't done confessions again I haven't done it again oh too late now it's too late now and I forgot last week as well oh my god god, literally, this is, thank you, Cameron, my memory's still shit, I love you guys so much, and I will speak to you on Friday for a brand new episode, I love you, bye!