Leah on the Line - 46: Is sending flirty texts a sackable offence & dealing with Relationship Anxiety

Episode Date: December 13, 2022

Hey stunners! I am back with another episode and today we discussed what you would do if you found out your partner had been sending extremely flirtatious messages... Sackable offence if you ask me! In the dilemmas this week we covered all things from relationship anxiety to being GHOSTED! Thank you guys for listening and your continued support. I love you so so so much and appreciate you more than you know. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of here on the line how are you happy tuesday oh look at me i missed a fucking episode again on Friday. But listen, I've spoken about my periods before over here at Leo on the Line. And I've told you, I suffer badly. Okay. And when I tell you I've been in so much pain, I've been trying to leave the house and like get around and do things. And I just I'm hobbling. I'm hobbling. And the thing is, right, I don't want to sit there recording an episode because I don't want to put out my best, I mean, anything that's not my best work, you know? So I don't want to be sat there all miserable, feeling sorry for myself because I'm in the best mood, getting a bit hormonal, a bit moody. And I don't want to sit there and be like, hello, hi everyone. Boyfriend's

done this, has he? Dump him, you idiot. Because that's what I would have been like. So I was like, do you know what? We're just going to have to miss a day i'm sure we're gonna be all right you know we're still gonna have this bond and this friendship no matter how long we go without talking to each other so i just thought you know what it's for the best that i take a break this friday um again if you can hear it uh oh my god i'm starting already i literally cba myself if you can hear an echo a bit more than normal i've already said this but i'm going to say it again sorry for being annoying and repeating myself we're getting work done in our house um and all this in my bedroom is a mattress on the ground um my walls are full of holes um i've just had my ceiling plastered and it's very echoey

hello hello hello you're an idiot you're an idiot oh wait no that's not what he says i'm an idiot you're an idiot one o'clock one o'clock anyway guys merry christmas do you know what i mean i'm doing vlogmas if i haven't mentioned uh another bit of clout chasing there for myself bit of a shameless plug but you know what i again took the weekend off of vlogmas because of my period pains but i'm back at it and guess what when this comes out on Tuesday I'm going to winter wonderland tonight I could be at winter winter wonderland winter wonderland when you're listening to this who knows when you'll be listening you could be listening to this in January and Christmas could be well and truly over if so sad times January and February are the most depressing months of the year, honestly. Just get me through to spring.

I am such a like, I get really bad SAD. Sad, seasonal affective or affected? Affective disorder? It could be neither of those. Basically, I get well depressed in the winter, like when it's really cold and dark and miserable. And I feel like that now. I feel like that now. But because Christmas is around the corner, it gets me through without that in January February I'm like what's the point what

is the point honestly no of course not because obviously I'm afraid of death so I would never talk about life in that way but anyway speaking of that has kind of been another reason I didn't I wasn't really in the mood to film on Friday I've been struggling a little bit with the fear of death my health anxiety have been a little bit okay I mean I'm gonna touch wood immediately because you never know with these things but with my fear of death it's really been quite triggered recently I saw this um TikTok that was like what happens when you die and obviously Leah the smart Leah would have gone scroll scroll I'm not in a mental position to be watching a video like that but anxiously i was like well what fucking happens do you know what i mean enlighten me

whatever you whoever you are so anyway what she said was that you like you go you trigger warning to anyone who has a fear of death and it's the same you like pass over and then you get met by somebody who gives you a fucking reel of your life like literally you coming out the big brother house yeah you get real of your life like gorge thanks for that yeah so you're brilliant and then you go up to somewhere and you're greeted with all your loved ones and all i'm thinking is yeah what if you haven't lost any loved ones like what happens to the really young people obviously you're gonna have loved ones that you never met but then you never met them so they're not going to make you feel safe and loved and comfortable because you don't know who they are maybe you just do know who they are but then

you don't have a bond with these people or maybe you just do and then I'm thinking imagine you pass like on your own and everyone's still back down here in the physical world and I'm just up there thinking I miss everyone anyway happy Tuesday everybody gorgeous start to the episode sorry if you have a fear of death same same here but I have to share it with someone I can't suffer on my own but anyway so yeah I had a bit of a shit night after seeing that. I think it was meant to make you feel comforted. But at the same time, part of me is like, what a load of shit. And then the other part of me is like, well, that sounds fucking awful. You know, I think I would rather not be aware. But then I just think I don't want to be dead. Anyway, wow. What am I talking about? What am I actually talking about? It's Christmas. Come on, everybody. Let's sing a Christmas song together. Snow is falling all around me. It actually is. It's snowing everywhere, guys. Well, I've had the most embarrassing amount of snow. Like, I can't lie. The level of snow we've had is, you can't call it snow. It's sleet.

I'm like, come on. This is pathetic pathetic even though i won't lie to you guys negative nearly here i am i hate snow i find it so annoying i hate the cold like your shoes get soaking wet and then your feet are like completely numb there's just crashes and traffic and road closures every the world the uk just we can't handle any weather do you know i mean floods we're fucked snow we're fucked heat waves fucked there's no weather we're actually made we're very good at giving out warnings snow warning flood warning storm incoming and then the world just we just explode like we're just like we're all on the roads skidding around like is it all countries like this or is it just us here in the UK let me know to my um Australian listeners hello how are

you haven't spoken in so long ah so we're at the world cup guys what a shame love football love him such a soccer girl sucker anyway yeah I was actually quite good I could have shed a tear but I didn't um I get quite into the games I won't lie to you something just comes over me and I think I know what I'm talking about I made one of them tiktoks where you just like my brother he plays football like he's he's semi-pro but anyway and so does my boyfriend like they all they they love the football life yeah and i was the worst person in the world to sit and watch the world cup with so she sat there and i was like offside that was that's a red handball handball do you know what i mean and i was just trying to

get a nibble out of everyone but they didn't they were just laughing at me but anyway this was the most random start to the episode but i've missed you guys so much. I hope you're all having a really great Tuesday or whenever you're listening to this. I hope your week's going really well. I hope you are ready for Christmas, excited for Christmas. If you celebrate it, if you're listening to this at a totally irrelevant time and maybe it's like, maybe you'll listen to this a year later. If so, happy 2023. How are we feeling about 2023, guys? I'm not sure. I was really excited for 2022 and I had a really good feeling about 2023 guys I'm not sure I was really excited for 2022 and I had a really good feeling about it and I was right like I've had an amazing year I won't lie I've had an incredible year but 2023 I'm not sure I mean it can't be much worse than some of

the past couple of years the start of 2022 was rough but I've had an incredible year since then so how we feel about 2023 what's your gut feeling about it shall we write some uh what's it called not resolutions um goals and what's the fucking word you guys know what I mean do you know what I mean things we're going to try and achieve this year things Things we want to make changes in, you know, maybe we should all do that together. But anyway, boring intro. Sorry for chewing all your ears off. I love you guys so much. And let's get straight into the episode. Okay, guys, the weekly debate this week i was gonna say it i say it every week really interesting really interesting debate no but it is it is because i would say 99 of us are on the same page here and i really wasn't expecting that so again i really enjoy doing this recently. It's based off one of our dilemmas this week. So the weekly debate I have for you this week is what would you do if you found your partner had been sending extremely flirty messages to someone else?

we'll get into the dilemma but I thought a lot of you would be like oh you know it's just a little flirt we can move past it you know it might break my trust and it might take some work but I think we can move through it no literally 99% of you are saying I am out of there so let's have a little read somebody says bin um I'm out um I'd confront them and probably end things to me this is cheat in which I can't forgive I would leave immediately I would break up of I deserve more self-respect um I don't think I'd ever be able to trust them again so I would have to break up I think dumped um I'd leave instantly he can keep the house I don't want anything to do with him. Love that. Get gone. It's the biggest red flag. And personally, I think once a G always a G. Oh, controversial. Ideally, I would dump him by ghosting him and never speaking to him again. But realistically, I would scream and ball at him and forgive him because I'm a mug. Oh, babes, you know, we've all been there. It's so easy to sit

back and be like, I would walk away. I would pack his shit and go. But when you're in when you're feeling the pain, you just want them to say they're so sorry and they'll never do it again. Do you know what I mean? I'd be extremely suspicious of his behavior for the rest of the relationship. It's not worth staying. Yep, spot on. I'd find that worse than them drunkenly kissing someone as a mistake. I see what you mean there. Because it's almost like you're conscious

like you're sober you're thinking straight right now and you're making these choices compared to if you was drunk and didn't really think and then you felt and then you thought fuck I fucked it do you know what I mean you're like yeah yeah basically yeah um oh my god i have experience i found on his phone as i went through it he apologized i forgave and he broke up with me six months later with no reason but to work on himself and i saw he ended with the girl he had sent mess oh ended up with the girl he sent messages to. Mug on my head. You're not a mug. Like, you know, you're not a mug at all for that. Lol, I'm fuming just thinking about it. Sackable offence.

Ending the relationship straight away. Depending on how bad the messages are, it would either be the end of the relationship or they'd have to do a lot of grovelling and making up. Depends how flirty and how they know the person but i would be so tempted to leave cry and confront him even if it means he'll find out i invaded his privacy eg gone on his phone um confront him then then tell him that i don't like him doing that and then leave to let him think um i'm going apeshit what the fuck are you doing yeah i'm with you on that um happened to me before left him and never looked back queen shit break up if he's doing

that what else has he been what else has he done or been doing that's a great point like especially if it's a case of you found the messages you you know, like how much of this shit has been going on, honey? Yeah. Absolutely wipe the floor with them and then get to the bottom of why they felt the need to dump them. I deserve better than a cheater. I see it as a form of cheating. Ugh, experience this. Left after the millionth time. Don't recommend staying. the millionth time don't recommend staying broke up straight away it's cheating in my eyes um somebody dm'd me seven saying i'd have i'd have a mentee bee and that cracked me up i i may live under a rock but i've never heard that saying mentee bee and i like it i think we should introduce it to you on the line too um i would be angry at them and speak to the person he was sending it to. It's simply a sackable offense. I'd probably tell him I found out and then end it. Not taking that

shit. Yeah. Good for you. I'd start hell on earth and it doesn't finish there. Why would you entertain other females unless there's some sort of interest there? Yeah. See, this is the thing. It's like, it's not just the messages that I have an issue with it's the fact that you're looking at other women like that you're attracted to other women like that you get fucking horny over other women that's a problem for me you know um but I'm with you on I think it's cheating one million percent without a doubt in my mind if you are sending messages to another girl and you're my boyfriend and you're saying oh my god you are so sexy you're cheating on me yeah that is cheating it is over over without shadow of a doubt

so yeah that was really interesting for me because I just felt like so many of you were going to be like it depends and you know I'd really want to work through it um I think I could forgive him if he put in the work like that's the kind of response I expected but it really was no fucking way am I letting that slide and you know what I love that from every single one of you as you should yeah so really interesting weekly debate thank you so much to everyone that sent in your responses as always send in all of your ideas for weekly debates i'm always happy to debate whatever it is you want to talk about if it's something personal related to you that you'd like to hear other people's opinions on and you don't really want to send a whole dilemma weekly debate is a

great way to go about it you know so yeah i love you guys so much um as always if you have a spare two minutes drop me a little rating or a review Be nice. I'm getting very sensitive. And without further ado, let's get into some dilemmas. Okay, guys, so this is said related dilemma. It's a bit more, conversation related dilemma. It's a bit more, there's a few more layers than just the flirty messages. So there's more to unravel with this specific dilemma. So let's just dive straight in. I love you guys. Get comfy, get a cup of tea, get a glass of wine, get your heating on if you're driving. Yeah, let's go. Okay. Hey girl, hope you're well. Love you and the pod lots. Love you so, so much much i've written in before and had my dilemma read out so thank you oh my god we're doing two for this girl i love that

the previous one was about my boyfriend going to see his ex and lying about it and me finding out by going on his facebook messenger naughty i know okay do you guys remember that if you guys don't i'm going to try and remember it so basically he he, well, yeah, she basically summed it up. She went on his Facebook and saw that he'd been messaging his ex and basically figured out that they'd met up in private. And he was like, oh no, no, something like that, something like that. Yeah, okay, you guys remember? Anyway, since then he has messaged another girl who used to work at the gym

who he gave free sessions to he's a pt i don't think i mentioned that very inappropriate messages for example telling her that clothing wouldn't hide his semi on saying he can't wait for bikini pics saying she looks stunning, etc. I'm sorry, my joggers just aren't going to hide my fucking rock on. Get out of my life. That is vile, vile, vile, vile, vile, boyish, prickish, nasty behavior. Okay, but we'll continue. He is a friendly person and does have a flirty personality. Okay. Can we stop allowing people to go, I've just got a flirty personality? No, no. When you're in a, when you're in a

relationship, that's not a thing. Like you can't just flirt with people and go, I'm just, that's just what I'm like. It's just what I'm like. No, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be. Okay. But continuing on. He's a friendly person and does have a flirty personality, but that is just unacceptable. Correct. He acknowledged he'd crossed a line. Okay. He cheated on you, babe. Not to be brutal here, but in my eyes, personally, that is a sackable offense. He's cheated on you. My joggers won't hide my fucking boner. You've cheated on me, right? Sorry to put it so bluntly.

I love you. To be fair, the other day, some girl was like, I love your brutal honesty. There's me again. Am I brutally honest? Am I brutally honest? I don't actually think I am. I think I am, actually. Anyway. He acknowledged he crossed

the line and said no pictures were sent oh thank you thank you for that he didn't cheat and there was nothing in it oh I have no words we moved past this not sure if I was a mug too or not but here we are anyway fast forward a year and I still feel really insecure and jealous and it's driving me insane. This brings me to my current dilemma. Recently my boyfriend had started training with a random woman from the gym. He says it's for business as he thinks she will become a client but I can't help but feel uncomfortable. He's how is his business suffering that bad he needs to go and like convince people to be a client for him. Like he's how is his business suffering that bad he needs to go and like convince people to be a client for him like he's like oh no i'm just like helping out the gym hoping that she'll

sign up to my program anyway that might be a really normal thing i'm not sure um okay i can't help it feel uncomfortable He said he likes her company. What's wrong with my company? Okay. And her as a person. Okay. That's just unnecessary. Like if you're trying to tell me, I'm just trying to, I'm just hoping she's going to be a client. You don't need to go, and I really enjoy her company. Shut up. Honestly, what is this guy trying to do here? And her as a person, but I feel like there's one thing offering someone a trial session and another training with someone on a weekly basis i've brought it up to him and we have argued about it and he says he's doing nothing wrong of course he's saying that of course he is which in the grand scheme of things he's not

but why not offer her a trial if it's to get a new client exactly she's married and they have a daughter for context okay rewind to the start of our relationship when my boyfriend was very insecure and jealous himself and was uncomfortable with me having male friends oh funny that do you know why because he knew what he was fucking thinking about other girls so when he sees you having friends with guys he can't possibly comprehend that you don't fancy them because he fancies girls anyway i literally only had two but he hated it me being naive i just cut these two people off but fast forward to now i still have no male friends and he has been to see his

ex behind my back sent inappropriate messages and is now befriending a woman in the gym. It just feels like it's double standards. Yeah, I'm not being funny. He clearly wouldn't let this slide. He wouldn't even let you have male friends, but he's expecting to go hang out with his ex, literally tell a girl that she gives him a boner and then say, I really like this girl's company at the gym I really enjoy her company I really like but I'm not allowed to have male friends yeah that doesn't really sound fair to me um he has since reflected on how he was when we first got together and has apologized but I don't know I think that's what grinds my gears so much along with my insecurities I cannot seem to shift

this feeling and whenever we talk about it it ends in a disagreement and I get upset and he says he's going to continue to train with her. I don't want to be controlling or insecure because they are awful things to feel. I just don't know what to do or if I'm valid in my feelings. Aside from these things he is a wonderful man and I know he loves me sos leah not sure if you can see those images but they're laughing love okay sos leah love you bye oh also we have been together for three years and have a house together okay let's tackle this slowly and carefully because in my opinion he's taking you for a prick i'm not gonna let someone take you for a prick no way

yeah he literally is taking you for a prick that is bottom line yeah he's taking you for a prick. I'm not going to let someone take you for a prick, no way. Yeah. He literally is taking you for a prick. That is bottom line. Yeah. He's taking you for a prick. I'll tell you why. Because he's broken your trust with the, first of all, these messages. No, sorry. First of all, the ex. You've broken my trust. You've gone behind my back. It's extremely inappropriate. It's extremely selfish and extremely unfair. Okay. You've worked through it. Perfect. Then he's sending girls messages saying things like,

can't wait to see bikini pics. Seriously. I'm not going to be able to hide my semi in my pants. Ugh. Disgusting. And then you found out about it. He's going, yeah, you're right. That was out of order. That was out of order. And then you're like, it. He's going, yeah, you're right. That was out of order.

That was out of order. And then you're like, you know, I do have these trust issues now. Thanks to you. Thanks to you. And I feel really uncomfortable about the situation with this girl at the gym. And he's gone, well, get over it. Get over it. Because I like her company and I like her as a person and I'm still going to continue to train with her, so get over it. Yeah? That's not going to work. I'm sorry. You've broken my trust. My self-esteem is underground. Again, thanks to you. And you think you don't have any work to do to rebuild that. You don't think you're responsible for rebuilding the self-esteem that you absolutely destroyed, chewed up and spat out and then chewed up again, vomited it back up and then flushed it down the

toilet. Yeah, that's what you did to my self-esteem. Thanks for that. You don't think you've got any damage repair to do here. You think I should just accept who you are you know i'm a float person babe what can i say i'm a float person i'm a float person okay yeah you know that's fair enough okay i'll tell you what let me go and do what you're doing yeah let's see how you like it for me personally the way i feel about this as your best friend, this guy has no respect for you. He's extremely selfish. He's extremely immature. He's extremely cruel. And that doesn't make a good partner. And I know I sound brutal and that's not what you want here at all. But that's the truth. That's the truth, babe, because you deserve someone. If they have made a mistake and they've destroyed your trust, you deserve someone. The amazing girl that destroyed your trust you deserve someone the amazing girl

that you are you deserve someone that's going to go oh my god this was the biggest mistake i've ever made look what i've done to us look what i've done to you i'm an awful person i'm going to do whatever it takes to rebuild this and rebuild yourself soon because you do not deserve to feel how i've made you feel and make these sacrifices and do things differently to rebuild your trust and your self-esteem and the strength in the relationship like I don't know not messaging girls not training with girls for no reason when you're a pt and you should be getting paid for it not doing it because she's a nice person yeah so my advice to you is remember what you're worth remember what you deserve and it's more than this and you your feelings are 100%

valid and the fact that he's not even hearing you and he's not even going you're right you know you feel like this because of me yeah fair enough she's married she's got children you probably do have nothing to worry about in this situation but he's not even taking into consideration that the reason you're feeling like this over what he sees as nothing this might be nothing right but the last two situations we've been through they weren't nothing you met up with your ex you were sending really fucking inappropriate messages and in my eyes personally he's cheated on you that is is why this what may be a completely normal, completely harmless situation. That is why it's given you so much anxiety. And he doesn't even have the decency to go, Oh, I understand that. Or like, yeah, I hear that. He doesn't even hear you.

So I think you should say that to him and be like, don't forget the reason I have these trust issues. Like, let's not forget what you put me through. Let's not forget how we are here. Yeah. And if you want to work through the relationship, I think we need to see a change from him. He can't just say, oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that across the line and then not do anything to make it right. Like, just because you're going to tell me you're not going to do it again, you're not repairing any damage. Like, fair enough're not going to do it again you're not repairing any damage like fair enough you might never do it again but you've got to work with me here like you've got to repair what you did i'm a broken woman at this point yeah so i think my advice to you as your bestie is never

forget what you are worth and what you deserve um and have a real long hard think about that make sure you let him know make sure you say to him like i'm sorry you're really fucking lucky to be with me just so you know like i am a fucking catch yeah um and if i'm not enough for you and if you still need to go and entertain other women and if you're still getting fucking boners over other women go and be single babe i'm all right without you i don't need you like don't feel like you need to be with me. If you want a single life, you don't have to be in a relationship. I'm more than okay. I'm more than capable of not being with you, just so you know. So I think unless we see a change from him and unless we see him rebuilding what he damaged, I think you deserve better. And we need to see a change from this boy keep us all updated i love you so much never lose sight of who you are and what you deserve i love you so much okay

next dilemma i'm a single mom of two beautiful children amazing i was in a toxic relationship with their father for almost six years and finally left nine months ago congratulations for getting out there I love you so much um I finally decided to mingle slash date again how exciting I've been seeing this guy for three months now and and he's everything I wish I had the first time around he's supportive he listens to what I actually have to say he cares about my feelings he cares about me and my kids he's hardworking and it's a bonus that he is handsome too. But because of my previous relationship, I always feel like I'm going back to my old self and second guessing everything. Is he telling me the truth? Does he actually care about me? Why would

he be interested in me? I have all this shit going on. He could be with anyone. anyone why me I just feel like I'm just waiting for something to happen or red flags to appear we didn't get off to a good start either because our first date he was a no-show I felt like crap my confidence was completely knocked down but I decided to give him one more chance and I'm lucky I did because we had such a laugh bowling but last night he was meant to spend the night the kids were out for the night he never showed up and I've heard nothing from him all day I'm so confused can you help her go out and try to understand what's going on I thought things were going really well because we had even had a conversation about him meeting the kids I don't know if there are red flags and I'm missing them or if I'm just looking for something that's not there and to cut him some slack love ya love you okay first of all congratulations

on being a single thriving gorgeous stunning mum to two gorgeous stunning thriving children what I do want to say is when I when I was reading this through I'm thinking of course you know we we've got a little bit of damage from the past relationship. Totally normal. You're carrying that through. Don't kick yourself for it. It's totally like a human thing to be feeling and thinking. The next thing I'm thinking is when I'm reading, you're saying like, why would he be interested in me?

I have all this shit going on. He could be with anyone. Why me? Stop that immediately. We need to flip the narrative here. Why him? You know know you could be with anyone why him why you don't stop worrying about like why why does he like me like what if he doesn't like me okay that is so silly because first of all you're an amazing woman i can tell you that for

free and second of all if somebody doesn't want to be with you, that means nothing to your self-worth and your self-esteem. So we don't need to be sat there questioning, why me? Why me? Why him? Why do you choose him? You know, like, what's so great about him that you're going to give yourself and bring these two beautiful children into his life? You know, what makes him so lucky, yeah, let's flip the narrative on how we're thinking and feeling about ourselves, and the next thing we get to is, he never showed up, and you've heard nothing from him all day, and you were talking about him meeting the kids, and you know, so how long did you say you've been seeing him um three months okay so it's early days it's done him what i would say is ghosting you just doing a no-show and not not messing you

very fucking disrespectful and the bottom of the barrel i expect from somebody if plans change even if they're not in the mood even if they're just having a bit of a shit day they're just a bit fed up and they really ain't got it in them just let me know that's okay like if you can just let me know I'm really sorry I'm just gonna have to you know take a rain check you know I'm really not in the mood it's not you like I'm just having a bit of a shit day. I'd love it if we can reschedule. I really hope you understand. Respect it.

Of course. You know, we all have them days. I'm not going to take that personally. What I will take personally is you completely ghosting me. You don't even have the decency or respect for me to let me know you're going to ghost and then you're not going to message me. So for me, I do think that is a red flag. But like, you know, we don't know the reason we don't know

there could be a great reason for it but immediately I think that that's just disrespect okay um I think it's okay to bring this up and say like you know I really like where this is going you know we've spoken about something quite serious you know you meeting my children is very important to me who you know I'm not just going to introduce anyone to my kids you know if I'm introducing you to my children I need to know where I stand with you and you've ghosted me so that leaves me wondering where I stand so you can just clear that up for me you know be honest with me be be brutal, it's all right, if you've decided you don't think this is going to go where you initially thought it was going to go, if you've changed your mind, if you've met someone else, just let me know, it's literally okay, you know, like, we need to stop letting men believe that we're going to crumble to the ground

if they reject us, like, it's okay to get rejected, you know, like, if a guy turns around, he's like, you know, I really, you know, I don't feel the same anymore, it's okay to be rejected you know like if a guy turns around he's like you know I really you know I don't feel the same anymore it's okay to be like okay well thank you for letting me know it's such a shame I feel like we got on so well I was really enjoying your company but I really appreciate you being honest with me and you know hopefully you find someone that's right for you and vice versa so I think it's really worth having an open conversation and being like you know like we said about the kids and stuff. We've had these conversations, but then you've ditched. And you're kind of giving me mixed signals at this point.

And I don't think I deserve that. I think I just deserve straight up front honesty. So I'd really appreciate a bit of that from you right now. And, you know, hopefully he doesn't fuck you around. And hopefully he's a decent enough bloke to tell you where he stands he might have a really good excuse might have a great reason or he might just go oh yeah i'm really sorry i don't know what happened and then you can take from that what you will because personally if somebody stitched me up and then he said

yeah don't know don't know really see you later for me like you don't even have any respect you joking me like just let me fucking know do you know I mean? So that's my thoughts on that one. I'm so proud of you for where you've got to in this point in your life. I think you should be so proud of yourself and keep remembering that you have so much to offer someone and whoever that person is that you choose is going to be really fucking lucky and you have so much to bring into someone's life with your two amazing children so make sure they're a bloody good person they deserve it so let's just make sure he's decent before you know have these conversations risk being looked at as the fucking desperate one who cares if they think that if they think that

then they're just not right for you you know like the person that is right for you will appreciate having that open and honest conversation and if they shut it down then they're emotionally unavailable and that's no good for you either so yeah I love you I think just practice a little bit more of your self-worth and don't let your past relationship define you because you're so amazing um and yeah I just love you I'm proud of you keep going babe all right next dilemma this one says have I fallen out of love with my boyfriend why can't I trust him okay hey girl sat here and I don't have anyone to talk to and I just knew the person I should come to and that's you oh my god I don't know what what made you think that wish me luck okay. So my ex-boyfriend cheated on me several times before so I have issues anyway. I've now been with my current partner for over a year. He's so sweet, kind, never done anything to

think I can't trust him and I do genuinely generally love him him however I do sit here sometimes and contemplate whether I do love him sometimes I can't be bothered to kiss him but I've had a real tough months tough seven months recently I don't really want to have sex but my sex drive has never really been high anyway is this normal and I can't help but not trust him he has never done anything as far as my knowledge but I've just got this anxiety I don't know whether because of in the past it's happened to me and I feel like I will never be able to trust anyone, but I need help advice. I don't want to break up with him, but I really do just need help. Okay, I'll be honest with you, yeah. When I first read this, my immediate response was a tiktok that i saw about relationship anxiety

um and it sounded a lot like what you're telling me so i wonder if you should like have a little read into that and maybe see if that's what you might be dealing with because she said things like um you question your your love for them and like you sit and wonder like one minute you'll be like oh my god like I really don't want him to leave me like I need him I love him and the next minute you're like do I love him do I actually like is this love that I feel or do I just like him or like is do I want to be with him forever you know like the overthinking and the doubt in your feelings um so bear with me two seconds I'm gonna have a little look okay this isn't the TikTok that I saw but she puts it really well and I'm not obviously saying that

this is what you're dealing with but it just reminds me of this TikTok so I'm thinking if anybody else feels these feelings which I get so many dilemmas of you guys being like my boyfriend's amazing but I can't help but sit there and think like is he the one like I think all this about him but he's so amazing so I'm just gonna play this for anyone that needs to hear it right now this is from a girl on tiktok her at is at healing dot embodied okay this is her tiktok let me play if you constantly overthink your relationship stop scrolling this video is for. Many people believe that if they have a lot of doubt, anxiety, and overthinking in their relationship, that it must mean that there's something wrong. But if you're in a relationship with someone who is loving, caring, and supportive,

then the doubt, anxiety, and overthinking might have nothing to do with them. It could be something called relationship anxiety. Relationship anxiety is a type of anxiety that specifically latches onto your relationship. It causes you to excessively overthink, overanalyze, doubt, think of the worst case scenario in your relationship. And relationship anxiety makes it really hard to be present in your relationship and enjoy what's right in front of you. And if you experience anxiety in your relationship, know that you're not alone. There are thousands of others who experience it too. It's a real thing and there is hope you can overcome it so that you can finally embrace your relationship. So it was pretty long. Sorry about that. but she says some really wise things and it just I feel like so many people go through this um now let's also take into consideration that you are carrying on

some trust issues from your last relationship which is totally normal as well like do not feel bad about that it's just natural but let's focus on like you said he's so sweet kind never done anything to you can't trust him and you and you do genuinely love him um so I would say you know it sounds like we've just got a bit of inner work to do like some self-love to learn and I do believe you can do that in a relationship so I don't think you need to leave someone to do that like some people give that advice like oh I think you need to be on your own and like love yourself I think it can be done with the right person and this guy sounds like a great person to sort of go on that journey with um and you know separate like literally like she

said in the video separate how you're feeling about the relationship from that person because it could be coming from you and from within you and and your feelings and trauma and anxiety like whatever you know so I think cut yourself some slack don't feel so bad about it don't overthink it oh such an easy thing to say just don't overthink brilliant thanks leah but um recognize that it is overthinking and the thoughts are just thoughts in your head and you know try and figure out what it is you need to do to be more present in your relationship to really enjoy it and give oh my god did you hear my wrist click then jesus give yourself all the love that you need because you deserve it and you need it and you know take time for yourself as well as a relationship you know like I've said this so many times my mum taught me you need to have five things in your life that are equally balanced

your relationship your friends your family your job slash career and yourself and I think we all make that mistake where one of them can just consume you so whether that be your job or your relationship you know and it's really important that they're all they don't have to be totally equal but that they're all balanced so yeah I think make sure you're happy with the life around you. Because I think sometimes when you're unhappy with your life, or whatever it is, not your life, but you know what I mean, like your circumstances, your situation, whatever, it's hard to feel happy in your relationship. And you can sometimes go, Oh, well, it must be my relationship. Ask yourself, if I left this relationship, would I feel any better would

I feel the same and that's sort of an easy not easy way but you know it can help navigate where these feelings are coming from is it coming from the relationship is it coming from me is it coming from work is it coming from the past um which can make it easier to sort of figure out what type of healing we need to do. And, you know, so yeah, I love you. Keep us all updated with how you get on. And remember, you deserve this relationship. You deserve to be loved like this. And just because somebody cheated on you and hurt you in the past, that doesn't mean that that's what's going to happen to you again. And that's what you deserve. You deserve everything but that.

And hopefully it sounds like that's what this guy is giving you and willing to give you so enjoy it embrace it if that's what you're ready to accept and bring in and if you're not then that's okay it's okay to be on your own if that's what you decide is best for you so yeah i love you so much um everything's gonna be all right okay next dilemma hey leah please help i've just come out of a seven-year relationship two months ago even though it doesn't seem long ago i was mentally out of the relationship a long time before it finally ended as he cheated on me a year previously i got drunk on a night out and slept with a boy and then saw him following the week oh saw him the following week on another

night out and slept with him again we've been texting ever since only three weeks we've been on a christmas market day oh gorgeous and have a cinema date planned next week amazing what are you gonna say i feel like i really like this boy and he keeps saying that i should come around and meet his family but i can't help thinking that it's only been two months since my long-term relationship ended help any advice I just want to be happy and keep thinking that does the amount of time I've been single really matter love you I love you so we actually did this as a weekly debate not too long ago um you know does the amount of time you've been single matter when it comes to moving on and the verdict was basically

whenever it feels right and so many of you guys said what what your situation is where you know it depends because a lot of the time we leave that relationship mentally before we do physically which means when you're single you're mentally already unattached from that person sometimes obviously and it sounds like that's the case with you what I would say is if it feels right then then that's it do you know what I mean it is that simple if you want to be with this person if you want to move on then that's it you know like if you in the back of your head are like oh I don't know I still think about my ex a lot or like you know do I really want to cut off communication with my

ex? Am I slightly hopeful that we might get back together? Is it going to hurt me when he's with someone else? If you have these feelings, then maybe you're not ready to move on. But if you already mentally checked out, you don't think about that person half as much, you don't have any interest in them being in your life, you just want to let it all go and be happy and be with somebody else you've met this great person who is making you happy who is communicating with you treating you well going on amazing dates if you want you to meet his family and it feels right then that's it and you don't have to explain yourself to anybody. Don't care about people thinking, oh my God, wasn't she with Mark like two weeks ago? Yeah.

I mean, two months ago. Yeah. Yeah, I was. Awful relationship. Cheated on me. Made me feel like a piece of shit. Took me a year to finally walk away from him. Yeah.

What's that got to do with you? It's none of your fucking business. Do you know what I mean? So I just think if it feels right, baby girl, then it is right yeah that's all I have to say on that one enjoy it let me know how it goes what you're going to see at the cinema do you think you're going to meet family are you nervous um be yourself you know you're enough as you are do you know what I find you when you go to meet someone's family the worst thing to do is be shy like really really shy obviously we're always a little bit shy aren't

we but don't be really really shy the first time you meet them because then it's so hard to come out of it isn't it because then you don't want everyone to think fucking hell Leah's piped up do you know what I mean she barely spoke the first three weeks if you just go in there balls deep and you're just like hi nice to meet you like it's so much easier to be yourself then because you've come in with this burst of energy so you don't feel like oh my god how am i going to break out of this shell that's my piece of advice if you do decide to go meet family i love you so much and congratulations on this more positive experience with somebody and enjoy it you deserve it okay guys absolutely stunning

great dilemmas they were all relationship based we get so many relationship dilemmas when i first started the pod we had so many like work dilemmas friendship dilemmas traveling dilemmas and now they're all relationship based which is fine with me i love talking about relationships i love talking about dating breakups like whatever but just just a reminder if you guys do want to actually chat about friendships or feeling stuck in your job or whatever it is I'm all ears as well for that love you guys okay let's get into the confession diaries this is the secret zone this is where it's always anonymous it's a judge-free zone i say that but i'll still probably judge you do you know what i mean um

and you can get everything off your chest give tell me your deepest darkest secrets and they stay here with me and all of the other listeners to leer on the line okay kicking it off with a good one i wrote down every girl my boyfriend boyfriend follows on a piece of paper and i cross examine it every time he follows someone new okay right first of all that sounds like a lot of work that sounds like a lot of work um first of all that sounds like a lot of work that sounds like a lot of work um second of all i feel like that's a toxic habit we need to break out of just for ourselves just for you do you know what i mean you don't deserve to be feeling that level of stress yeah but anyway it's a confession so no one asked for my advice next confession my ex cheated on me several times so i accidentally called him whilst fucking his friend

i mean he definitely knew it wasn't an accident like he definitely knew that was a revenge thing but fuck it do you know what i mean fuck him literally fuck his friend yeah i condone it he cheated on you piece of shit also what a shit friend. Like, what the fuck? But then also, guys is just snakes to each other. We've all seen it. Okay, next one. This one's fucking crazy, guys. This one is crazy. Right. I catfished my ex and kept arranging fake dates with him and he kept getting stood up for me that's crazy like not crazy as in you're a psycho crazy as in like madness because the time and energy that must have took to like hold up a relationship a catfish relationship i know it wasn't a

relationship but you know what i mean for him to keep meeting up and going on dates I mean it's genius to be honest like if anybody wants to go and take that tip I don't know what that's called it's a bit of a game really fuck them you you never know you could be on the next episode of catfish UK although I wish Neve did catfish UK because I do love Neve okay next confession um I slept with one of my housemates big mistake in itself and it wasn't that bad oh okay that was incorrect I slept with one of my housemates big mistake in itself and if that wasn't bad enough is what it actually says his dick was too big so the sex didn't really work out, so I tried to give him a blowjob, and I could barely get it in my mouth, I could barely get my mouth around it, and then he went soft in my mouth, for fuck's sake, most embarrassing moment of my life,

no, because honestly, what can you do, but then a lot of of the time like I've spoken to my guy friends about this and apparently apparently they might have just been saying this because I'm a girl and I wouldn't want to hear the opposite but apparently if a guy goes floppy in the bedroom it's most of the time it's nothing to do with you, apparently, this is just what I've heard, I'm getting a nod from my boyfriend, although we never have that problem, do we, baby, we do not, but anyway, apparently, it's nothing to do with the girl, so, you know, hopefully that helps, maybe he started getting embarrassed, he's like, oh my god, my monster cock won't fit in her mouth and he's

embarrassed about it because this is the thing sometimes it's too big it's not nice do you know what i mean it's like oh great what do you want me to do with that so maybe he's quite embarrassed by it and the fact that you couldn't get it in your mouth he was like oh no like and then it was all awkward and then he started getting a bit nervous and a bit bit shaky and then it was all awkward. And then he started getting a bit nervous and a bit shaky. And then it went down and the mood was gone. And do you know what I mean? So whatever, you know, why am I giving you advice? It's literally not a dilemma. Shut up, Leah. Next confession. I love that. And thank you for sending it in. Fantastic content. Okay. Last one. We're going to end it on a bit of a scary note. I had unprotected, unprotected, I'm really

struggling today. I struggle most days as we all know. I had unprotected sex with three people in 48 hours. So please pray for me. I felt like I had to read that one out because I feel like as a Lear on the Line collective, we need to come together and pray for this girl and manifest a clean, healthy vagina. Because that is some risky shit. You are living your life on the edge in those 48 hours. And you know what I say? I'm all aboard with the casual sex, as long as you're using protection. That is the one rule I tell you guys. What do I tell you? As long as you're having safe sex, have as much sex as you want tell you as long as you're having safe sex have as much sex as you want as and as long as they're single and you're single but that babe we need to

learn a lesson from this okay condoms do you know what i always think i think i've said this before if you're going to have a one-night stand with someone right and they don't offer a condom like if they don't say we should probably use protection, you just know he's got a dirty dick, you know? Like you just know he doesn't put condoms on when he has one night stands. And do you want that dick in your vagina? Personally, no. Yeah. If a guy's like, we should probably use condom. Sexy. I love the safe sex yeah obviously i don't have casual sex i've never actually had a one next time in my life and i'm okay with that you know you guys live it all up for me don't you i just have the same willy and i can't complain anyway totally inappropriate let's wrap up the episode okay guys i absolutely love this episode i had a ball had a ball with you

guys guess what i'm going to win at wonderland tomorrow i mean when you listen to this if you guys are early listeners and you're listening on tuesday then i'll be at winter wonderland today i'm absolutely over the moon not over the moon for my bank balance though by the end of it because what the fuck do you guys remember the days when it was free? It's not anymore. And the games are so expensive. The food's gone up even more in price. It's like, I saw on TikTok, it's like £6.20 for a mulled wine. And you know, it's just packet crap. It doesn't even taste that good. And if there's a place you expect decent mulled wine, it's winter wonderland. Yeah, but I'm just there for a good time. You

know, take my money, take my money. I'm not going to come home with a big giant dog this time. I won't do it because I've got nowhere to put that. I'm not going to do it. I mean, I'll let you know. I'll let you know how I get on. Sometimes I just get well competitive and I refuse. Maybe I'll win one and give it to somebody. No'm too competitive for that as well but I won that you start walking around winter wonderland with it do you know what makes me want to win one right you know when you see people walking around and they're carrying them on the shoulder on their shoulders like fucking flash twats and I just want to show them give them a piece of my mind yeah I think you're hard I can get one of them if I wanted to but I don't where are you going to put

that in your house we're going to store that hey jokes on you and get home tonight and it's sitting in your bloody living room for the next six months and you think why did I spend 30 pound trying to win that stupid thing yeah we've all done it we've all done it but anyway I love you guys if you have any ideas for the Christmas episode let me me know. I feel like the New Year's episode is going to be really fun. Like I'll reflect on my 2022 goals and stuff. I'll reflect on my 2022 tarot reading that I had. I had a yearly reading. Should I get one? Should I go for 2023 and read it out to you guys? Perfect. I'm definitely going to do that. I'm definitely going to do that.

But yeah, let me know any Christmas episode ideas, guys. I'm so excited. It's going to be amazing. And I love you guys so much. You are the best ones I could ever ask for. Thank you so much for always listening, always supporting, being the best friends in the world. Thank you so much for always listening, always supporting, being the best friends in the world. I can't even tell you how much it means to me that you even see Leah on the line and click play, to be honest.

I just, oh, don't even. I love you. You mean the whole world to me. You're all amazing. You're all beautiful. You're all gorgeous, handsome, stunning, funny, talented. Should we do some affirmations? We haven't done some affirmations in a while. I we should do them okay deep breath everyone okay i am beautiful i am kind i have a good heart

i treat people well I have big juicy body and I am incredible in bed okay well done everybody well done um great affirmations this week and i love you guys so much thank you for everything why do i sound like i'm gonna die thank you for everything oh god don't i'm triggered i'm triggered i'm not gonna die i'm not gonna die i'm going to win at wonderland tomorrow i'm gonna get there okay i'm gonna get home okay everything's gonna be fine you guys okay. Everything's going to be fine. You guys are all going to be fine. Everybody's fine. We're all fine.

I love you guys so much. And I'll see you on Friday for a brand new episode. I love you. Bye.