Leah on the Line - 47: Do you believe in the one that got away & I can't stop thinking about MY BOSS!

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

Hello my gorgeous besties, welcome back to another episode. Today we discussed whether or not you guys believe that "the one that got away" is a real thing. The dilemmas this week ranged from toxic friendships, to your partner telling you they don't love you anymore, to being attracted to your boss! Thank you so much to every single one of you that listens or gets involved in the podcast, you mean the absolute world to me and I'll never be able to thank you enough. As always send your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leah on the line how are you happy to use the was i really loud at the beginning then I think my microphone was turned up a little bit loud but I have turned her down I've got some new headphones right um god I really can't breathe sorry I'm still ill if you can't tell but I've got some new headphones and they're so good like I literally sound like I'm in an arena like it's so good and I was watching Jonas Brothers concert videos on YouTube with my headphones in and I was like this light till 2am what is that song what are the lyrics happiness begins I literally don't know the lyrics and I'm a die-hard Jonas Brothers fan

okay can we just make an agreement that when the Jonas Brothers next go on tour, we all do everything we can to get me tickets? I would love to go on a huge Lear on the Line night out to the Jonas Brothers. I will say my boyfriend will be there because we are diehard JoBros fans. You should see us in the car we love burning up i'm hot you're cold you go round like you know who i am but you don't sorry guys that is so annoying you're just thinking when is she gonna stop she's just going on to the next line but honestly if you're a Jonas Brothers fan which I feel like we probably

all are because we're literally the same do you know what I mean how fun would it be for us all to go and watch the Jonas Brothers but I feel like they're gonna need to do a new album before they go on another tour but I am so ready I I'm really in my Jonas Brothers obsessing again era and I'm loving every minute of it. Anyway, how are you guys? Happy Tuesday. I hope you guys have had the best weekend. Hope your Monday went well. Hope it wasn't too, what's the word to describe a Monday? Draining and slow and depressing and painful. Although I do say this quite often I like a Monday it's like a new beginning fresh start new opportunities let's write let's rewrite the week do you know what I mean I feel like I really need to get into my manifesting recently because I've been having a

hard time being positive but I spoke to my mum about it and she was like you don't have to be positive all the time and I was like yeah you're right do you know what I mean and also I literally been crying all day because I went on TikTok live this morning because I've been having a bit of a bad time recently no like particular reason just been feeling a bit low in myself as we all do every now and then and I went on TikTok live because you guys always cheer me up whenever I whenever you catch me on live and I get to talk to you you guys always cheer me up right but then there's always the odd fucking troll that comes in. And then this person came in and was like, Jesus, look at the size of them nostrils.

And obviously, we talk about it over here a lot. I am very insecure about my nose, always have been. So it was very triggering for me. It took me back to school, you know, good times, good times, good memories, fond memories of those days being bullied for my nose and luckily I have so many of you guys that stick up for me and you're like you're beautiful Leah don't listen but then you do listen don't you you do because you think I know I've been looking in the mirror for the last 25 years thinking look at the size of them nostrils and you've come come onto my TikTok live and it took you five seconds to think the same thing so I'm obviously not making it all up in my head I clearly do have a massive fucking nose and I am hideous but then at the same time I think to

myself do you know what I'd rather have a big nose than be a big c-u-n-t do you know what I mean like you we are not the same I'll never be you I'll never bring people down and be a nasty person like you so yeah I might have a big nose but you know what I've got I'm um I've got a big juicy ass as well yeah it's so funny because I definitely don't but like he acts like I do just like my big jugs anyway what was the encouragement on that one I love you why didn't you say big jugs I don't like big jugs oh whatever anyway so yeah had a bit I've had a bit of a bad few days and you know what all I've been thinking is I can't wait to get on the pod and just talk to my best friends and just like oh just be like in my safe place again where you guys are just good people and you love me and

I love you and we're just we're just in love of each other you're just my safe space like you guys say it to me all the time like you're my safe space I feel so much more calm when I listen to you I feel less alone I feel the exact same like trust me I've been looking forward to coming upstairs sitting in my room putting my pink led lights on and just having a bit of me a new time do you know what I mean besties so yeah always keeping it real with you I'm having a shit time at the moment I'm really ill everything feels so overwhelming like even minor things that are just normal and happen all the time, like normal life stresses, whether it be like money or like, you know, exhibit eight, the way that you look or like, oh, I haven't hung out with my friends in a while and it's getting me down and I really miss my friends in London and like that stuff. It's like, normally it's normal to feel like that, but every now and then it's

just all a bit overwhelming and too much and you just can't cope with it. And that's what I'm feeling like at the moment. So this is me just being honest with you all saying i'm struggling and if you're struggling as well that's okay like i feel like i shouldn't be it's like it's fucking christmas hun but then i'm also like that makes me feel worse you know when you feel like you shouldn't be feeling down because it's christmas then you think oh my god i feel so shit around christmas what's the matter with me nothing it's life and it's normal 2023 is around the corner we're going to rewrite history baby, we're gonna have a really amazing year, all of us, but anyway, this isn't gonna be a negative

episode, I just needed to let it out and, you know, really get it off my chest with you guys, so thanks for listening to my TED talk, really fun weekly debate, we almost did it in the last episode, you guys remember, somebody asked me this question and I thought oh my fucking god this is a great debate so yeah let's get into it without further ado let's dive straight into the episode okay let's get comfy let's get proper into the episode me and you bestie time whatever you're up to right now whether you're out doing your christmas shopping whether you're at the gym sorry guys i am still ill um whether you're cleaning whether you're falling asleep right now wake up whether you're just out for a nice walk

i don't know why it's absolutely freezing outside so i don't know why you'd be doing that but whatever um how are you guys feeling about christmas i find it a weird time like i absolutely love it but also it has this eeriness about it does anybody else feel that i can't describe it it's like a bit eerie like like oh like all these happy songs like merry christmas everyone and like there's a fucking cost of living crisis people are freezing in their homes. There is still a global pandemic. Like, it's all a bit mad. And I know Christmas is a really difficult time for a lot of people. So if you're one of those people, I'm thinking of you. And you're welcome around my house for Christmas. But anyway, let's get into the weekly

debate. So this week, we are debating debating do you believe the one that got away can be a real thing I love this question so shout out to the girl who gave us this idea last um week I'm really intrigued what you guys are going to say I feel like you guys are all going to be like no like I don't believe in well let's just say rather than me just guessing how about I shall actually fucking have a look shall I hmm I don't know because I think you meet everybody for a reason so they will come back someday if so yeah great point great point oh listen to this 100% I think mine got away and I'll work my ass off to get her back honey you keep fighting you keep fighting someone told me before I was this got away and I'll work my ass off to get her back honey you keep fighting you keep

fighting someone told me before I was this for them and it just hurt me hearing that so no I don't someone says 100% I do currently experiencing this myself they wouldn't have got away if you were meant to be um yes for me this term was used when when there was no bad blood when me and my ex split uh yes for sure but equally if they're the one they'll always come back yeah this is kind of what i expected you guys to think you know i feel like it does make a lot of sense when you put it like that yes because most people don't realize what they have until it's gone now this is a fact like this is true I back this I truly believe sometimes you have to lose someone to realize like how incredible they were um and I truly believe everybody that's ever lost me is just going to be miserable for the

rest of their lives this is how I like to live this is my like messed up mentality like anybody that doesn't want to be with me or like doesn't want to get into a relationship with me in my life i'm like you're gonna regret this for the rest of your life i'm gonna be the one that got away and they probably could not give a fuck and they probably as soon as i'm out their hair they're like thank god for that good fucking reddance and i will literally fall asleep at night thinking you are crying your eyes out tonight they're not they're literally buzzing their dick off um I did but now I think if something is meant to be then the universe will make it happen um somebody says more so for boys than girls I think I kind of see that like I feel like us girls are very good at being like like me like whatever then you're a loss um and guys might be the ones that look back with regret because I feel like us girls are better at like not looking back with regret if we make a decision

to like lose someone or like not be with someone then we don't look back and think oh he's the one that got away do you know what I mean I see your point um i'm not sure but i do believe most things happen for a reason i can't wait to hear people's thoughts on this no it's only the one that got away because it was the one you couldn't have oh that's a great perspective do you know what i mean like you feel like they're the one that got away because you had like a bit of regret but do you regret it because like they were just great or do you regret it because they were truly the one that got away do i mean hmm nope nothing that's meant for you will ever pass you by um hmm yes one million percent yes i had a guy i was madly in love with but my circumstances

changed and we had to say goodbye but i'm not in love with him anymore. But I wish him every happiness. Oh my god. I can only apologise in advance for all the coughing. No. In my opinion we use it as a way of coping. And fantasise about what could have been with them. This girl always comes in with the wisdom. I always notice her responses. And she's always very wise.

No. As you say. Nothing that's meant to be will pass you by i do say that i do say that i've got a very interesting dm let me go and find it here it is okay this is a story okay really don't know how i feel about it but here's my experience it was my boy bestie since we were kids i know your feelings on this lol and we decided to give it a go well i rest my case and had a bit of a fling after about 10 years of friendship. Wow. He then cheated and admitted that he'd been seeing another girl. I stopped all contact for a few months as I felt so sad that I had been betrayed by one of my oldest friends. See, that's the thing as well. Like not only

was he your boyfriend, but like you had 10 years of friendship and he fucked it anyway this was a few years ago and we managed to rekindle our friendship and it's kind of back to how it used to be between us he's still with the girl oh ouch and i'm in a happy long-term relationship now too okay amazing i sometimes still think about him and the time we had together but just feel like we can't ever cross that line again because of how he treated me when he's had a drink he sometimes admits he still loves me and always will I never know what to say as I don't want to betray my boyfriend who I love sticky situation but I'm happy we're still friends at least I think deep down I'll always have a soft spot for him but I can't really forgive him for cheating on me years ago so I guess kind of the one that got away

but then I guess it depends on what you guys interpret that I guess kind of the one that got away but then I guess it depends on what you guys interpret that as like for me the one that got away is you you wish that you ended up together like they got the one that got away is like you had something amazing with somebody and like losing that is one of the worst things that ever happened like that was your person they got away you were meant to be together you know and I feel like if you're really happy with your boyfriend and you want to be with him then surely you can't feel like that about this guy but very interesting um story very sad I'm so sorry you got cheated on I really am oh my god I'm really struggling to breathe like I'm actually suffering I don't have COVID I've taken a few tests and I don't have COVID,

but my lung capacity is just not there right now, guys. So sorry for all the swallowing, sorry for all the gasping, sorry for all the coughing, sorry for the snotty sound. I hope you guys can stick with me. And yeah, really good weekly debate. I feel like we're all a little bit torn on that one. It's like, yeah, I guess. Like I feel like we're all a little bit torn on that one it's like yeah I guess like I feel like you can regret it but at the same time what's meant for you won't pass you you know so it might feel like they're the one that got away but don't worry because they ain't because what's meant to happen will always happen so yeah crazy times guys I'd love to hear some stories on that if you guys have any send

them my way and I can read them out next week um but yeah thank you guys for all your responses on that one and thanks for sending me your stories really thoroughly enjoyed it um let's get into some dilemmas okay we have some really good dilemmas this week some very sad ones i won't lie let's kick it off with this one it says hey love the pod and would appreciate your advice on my dilemma so i met this guy when i was recently solo traveling it was like something from a movie we were staying at the same hotel bumped into each other a few times and he ended up asking me out on a date we exchanged numbers and ended up going on a boat trip which was really romantic and had a lot of fun we went on a cute long walk after and it was

clear we had a lot in common and enjoyed each other's company amazing real holiday romance this is is giving lizzie mcguire movie i love it i had to fly home to london the next day and he lives in paris oh my god emily in paris nothing sexual happened on the trip but there was definitely chemistry so a month has passed we have spoken every day since we met had the good morning good night cute messages and have a lot of banter daily stunning i just got back from paris as he invited me and i went to stay with him for the weekend oh wow i still really like his vibe and had a good time but the sex was not good we had our first kiss on the first night and within minutes penetration happened well okay

don't fuck around hey it's like he didn't understand the concept of foreplay and he asked if i came a few times during intercourse oh my god imagine you're having sex like did you come did you come did you come no and it's probably never gonna happen if you keep asking me um oh and she's added and i never come that way so it was very awkward that is awkward like just stop asking me i think you'll know about it do you know what i mean he's 27 and has had at least one relationship in the past so i'm assuming he's had a bit of sex but i'm worried that he doesn't understand how sex works for a woman and worried that he won't slash doesn't enjoy foreplay and the sex won't get better

he also hardly made any noise or communicated during sex. I'm a very sexual person so enjoy being adventurous, solo play, oral, different positions etc. When I left he made it clear he wants to see me again. However I worry about the sexing and the distance. I think distance will be fine if the sex improves but how do I bring up sex over message I feel like we need to have a conversation and dependent on his response it may end up working out thanks bestie in advance oh geez I mean how do you tackle this because I feel like that's quite a tricky one because a lot of you guys say like sex can be learned like I remember I did that thing where I did a weekly debate where I said, would you rather be with somebody you had an amazing connection with, but shit sex, or, um, wait, how do I say this the other way around? Or amazing sex, but like a bit of a shit connection. And almost all

of you said, I'd rather have an amazing connection because sex can be built and taught and like you know you can learn each other so there's there's hope for that one but I do get it because I feel like especially how like romantic it all started like you almost wanted for this like mind-blowing night together and that just didn't happen but you know what that's okay like maybe the next time you go and see him it will just be amazing you know so I'd say let's stay hopeful I kind of wouldn't bring it up over message I think personally I would just like I wouldn't make it an issue I would just like go and see them again or him come and see you and we can initiate the foreplay you know like I don't know why don't we mess around for a little bit before

you put your fucking penis in steady on yeah hold your horses a minute so and maybe you can just say to him like by the way like I don't come from penetrative sex you guys know i always stumble on that word penetrative penetrative penetrative oh my god smashed it do you know what i mean like you could just say like oh by the way like i i'm just one of those women because it's really common by the way i just don't like i come from like clitoral stimulation darling you know and then he might be like let me get out that clit yeah and then maybe there'll be no stopping him and you'll have this amazing oral sex all night long who knows but i feel like next time it comes down to it you can just be like let's play or come on tim or just tell him what you like without it being like I need to talk to you um when we had sex it was fucking shit

so I feel like yeah maybe just approach it that way like next time you get down to it because you clearly really like him and you're really hoping that this is something you can work around so let's try and work around it in like a not very serious way in in a fun way please do that and let me know how you get on I am very intrigued to see how this turns out for you congratulations I love you so much I hear next I love her this one says hi Leah I just wanted to say that I feel so comfortable and safe when I listen to your podcast you genuinely feel like my friend and I love it. Oh my god, to hear that I make someone feel comfortable and safe is the best feeling in the world. Like, I was about to say I can die happy, but you guys don't have a fear of death, so hopefully not. Well, happy, yeah, just not the death part. But anyway, I love you so much and I'm so happy I can be there with you and for you.

Okay, let's get into the dilemma. I have a friend dilemma today and it's a bit of a big one. I just need some idea on how to move forward in a toxic friendship group who I live with. Yikes. Okay, everyone ready for this one? I'm in my final year of uni. It's always uni. It's always at uni. And I'm living with a group of girls I got particularly, it's always uni it's always at uni and i'm living with a group of girls i got particularly right this is one thing that always stresses me out and it's the same with genuine no it's not genuinely what's the other word i can't remember but anyway is it particularly or particularly because it's actually particularly isn't it but we don't say that do we we say particularly or is that just me what do you say babes particularly oh you say particularly oh is it just me particularly i'm not particularly bothered yeah i know it's

particularly but i just thought it was just like a thing that we all say particularly let me know what you guys say but anyway continuing on with the dilemma where the fuck did i get to i'm lost um okay a group of girls i got particularly close with during second year everything was going really well and i felt like i'd found my people i got into a relationship with my amazing boyfriend not long after i met these girls and I was very balanced in seeing him and seeing friends. During third year we were on placement and all worked full-time. My boyfriend isn't at uni and works full-time for contacts so I only had my weekends really to see him. By the way the other girls were also all in relationships at this time. Over the year I

said no to going out a few times as when we go out one girl's boyfriend and his friends come out every time it's never girl time and I don't particularly class those boys as my friends due to difference in personality nothing against them really just not my vibe and I'm not there probably and I'm not theirs probably so I'd either see my boyfriend or be with other friends or just say no i also struggle with my mental health and some meetups would cause my anxiety to spike so i had to put me first i did still go out with them and make plans though one day i had a huge message off of one of the girls speaking on behalf of all of the others saying how they feel like i spent all my time

with my boyfriend and have put them on the back burner massively ignoring how i came out with them and everything all the other girls practically live with their boyfriends due to them all being at uni too so they can see their boyfriends at random times it felt it was only a problem when it was when i was with mine flash forward to now we're living together and i've done one group thing since september i always suggest girls night and i get ignored every time jesus christ two girls now spend four to six days slash nights with their boyfriends and don't bother with the group at all. I don't mind this as I understand your boyfriend is your best friend, but also can't help but feel

really upset about how I was singled out for being with mine twice a week when one boyfriend lives with us. No one okayed that by the way, he just moved in. And the other sees hers from Wednesday to from Wednesday to Monday right okay and you see yours twice a week and they're screaming about it what the fuck we don't speak we don't do things and I'm upset I may be wasting final year in a house with bad vibes also one of the girls absolutely trashes the kitchen and never cleans up after herself see this is the thing right when there's already like little problems everything else they do grinds on your dick even more do you know what I mean to be fair I am detached from the friendship now and luckily I have a lot of amazing friends away from uni and of course my perfect man however I feel so much anger and resentment due to how I was spoken to about last year

when they are so much worse with their boyfriends this year do i say something or do i keep myself to myself get my degree then dip i don't see a friendship with the girls after uni and after living with them i've seen a completely different side to them which i struggle to like anymore i love you i love you okay i think i sense a bit of jealousy to be honest like whenever a girl gets singled out in a group over something really unfair I can only ever put it down to jealousy like they probably were jealous of the time you're spending with your boyfriend and now they're getting that with their boyfriend so they just don't have anything to say anymore like they probably were so jealous and they wanted that to be them with their boyfriends or maybe they were too stubborn to admit it and do something about it. So I think there was a bit of jealousy there, to be honest. I would honestly say to you, like you said, you're lucky you have a lot of amazing friends away from uni.

And you have this amazing relationship. But you're saying like you feel so much anger and resentment towards them about like how they singled you out and how they spoke to you and how they made you feel and stuff I would honestly say to you you have to release that feeling because they're literally not worth it like I would literally just feel like if I were you I would just think do you know what fuck you then like like you've detached from the friendship now we don't have a friendship anymore we don't hang out with each other you've literally already made the decision that once uni's over you're not interested in a friendship anymore like I can tell you kind of at that point so I would just release that anger release that feeling like take

a deep breath and just go do you know what whatever like whatever then carry on seeing your boyfriends with your fucking negative vibes towards me and fuck off like at the end of the day you've got loads of amazing friends you've got an amazing relationship they're clearly a little bit jealous of you um but that's nothing to do with you like their opinion on you and what you decided to do with your time last year it's none of your fucking business like they can keep it to themselves as far as I'm concerned I don't care if I spent too much time with my boyfriend to satisfy you I don't live my life for you do you know what I mean like you clearly said you made a lot of time

for your friends and I believe you 100% um and also you don't want to go out clubbing with your friend and a load of guys that you're not close with because that's just not fun for you which is also fair and also some things are triggering for your anxiety so you don't want to go also fair like if they can't understand that then they're not really your friends um and the way that they've treated you shows that they're not really your friends so I would just feel like you know what whatever you we don't need to feel anger towards them we don't need to feel like well fuck you fucking bitches like you single me out like it's just like take a deep breath be the bigger better person and just think fine like it doesn't matter to me anymore you know you have so many things to like

you have so many so much more going on in your life than just this friendship group so it's not worth the energy take a deep breath and just go whatever at the end of the day whatever you know what I mean I love you so much um smash out your degree you're so close to the end so proud of you okay next dilemma it says hey Leah I really need your help I hope you're doing fab thank you I hope you're doing fab basically I'm attracted to my boss quite a lot but I have a partner myself what do I do surely I shouldn't feel this way in a relationship if they were truly the one right I'm so confused I don't know what to do regarding my partner or the boss I'd love to know your thoughts on this okay so we did a weekly debate literally a few

episodes back where I said like is it normal to still be or is it okay whatever word we use to still be attracted to other people when you're in a relationship and a lot of you were like yeah like you can appreciate someone's good looks but it shouldn't be like a strong feeling like it should just be like yeah you know I can appreciate that yeah he's attractive whatever but if you're attracted to someone I think that's different than like acknowledging someone's attractiveness and being attracted to them is different um and you sound like you're very attractive to your boss um is it like an authority thing like maybe we've got a little fetish going on or maybe it's the forbidden fruit vibes you know like it's so wrong like not only are you in a

relationship also he's your boss like it's so wrong it's naughty maybe that's what you find attractive about it but I will say um that it might speak volumes on your relationship to be honest it might because yeah I would rather not be with someone who was feeling those things if I was your boyfriend um well I wouldn't be like if I knew my boyfriend was really attracted to his boss I would literally end the relationship I'd be like fuck that so I feel like it's a tricky one going back to the weekly debate a lot of you guys are like yeah it's totally normal it's life it's natural yeah fuck it but if you're literally like oh my god what do I do like I'm crazy about him like that's concerning me. But at the end of the day, this is one of them things that only you can decide what to do. And only, you know, the severity of these feelings. Um, I think ask

yourself, how would you feel if your boyfriend or you didn't say boyfriend to be fair, you said partner, if your partner felt this way about somebody else while being with you, like how would you feel if the person you're with had the feelings you're feeling about someone else, would you want him or her to be with you, or would you want them to just end the relationship, you know, that's's a difficult one because if it was me if my boyfriend felt that way I would just want him to break up with me like don't be with me you know what I mean like let me live if you if you're trapping me and you're not even in it let me go let me live vice versa so I think maybe ask yourself that question what do you think you would want if you were them and do you really want your boss or is it the whole like infatuation over it being wrong

just ask yourself a couple of questions I think um and only you can make this decision you know what I mean so yeah I love you so much good luck with that one babe jeez keep us all updated next dilemma okay omg i'm needing major help with this one okay i'm here for you my boyfriend and i were living together for one year it was amazing everything we could have wished for he had even asked for my ring size. You're an engagement. He got a new job so we lived separately for a few months until we moved into a new home in November. In October he, oh okay, so they're in November but back in October he expressed he didn't love me anymore. He didn't feel like a couple and didn't want me to move in so this is a month before you moved in with him we decided to keep trying and working through it but he still feels like friends slash there was a lack of trying on his part i have since oh fuck

i have since found flirty messages slash chats about dates slash negative conversations about me with his female work colleague. It's always the fucking work colleague. My heart is completely broken and I'm at a loss. I'm so in love with the guy, but I am so full of hurt. Okay. My number one question is to you. Why do you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you like your self-worth is so much higher than that like you have to love yourself more than you love this this person like this guy has categorically said to you looked you in the eye said to you i don't love you. I don't care about this relationship anymore. I feel like we're just friends. I can't even try. There's a lack of trying on my part. I don't even have it in me to

try. And then he's chat shit about you to not only just a friend, like another woman so disrespectful and and really really just cruel and he's flirting with her um and talking about going on dates with her like just hear that out loud hear me say that to you and hopefully that will make you think what the fuck am i doing with somebody that doesn't deserve me he doesn't want to be with me and that's okay you know if somebody doesn't want to be with you they cannot be for you that he he physically cannot be your soulmate your person your for life or like he physically can't he not right now anyway you never know you could be the one that got away right now he's not he's not right for you because the bare minimum you deserve as an amazing person is someone that wants you like it's so heartbreaking

and hard to accept when someone doesn't want you because you have to sort of think well where did I go wrong what did I do nothing you did nothing wrong you are perfect as you are but this person is not for you and you know if if he was he would want to be with you you know like you have to think about it really simply it's so easy when you think about what do I want from someone someone that wants me that is that is the number one bottom of the barrel what I need from somebody I want to be in a relationship with someone that actually wants to be in it as well and he doesn't and that's nothing on you that is nothing on you you're amazing you're funny you're funny you're

gorgeous you're incredible in bed I bet you give amazing blowjobs but you know what for some reason you're not his person and that is absolutely fine because someone else is your person and they are going to love you and adore you in every way that you're wishing this guy would why this guy why do you need it from him when you can just get it from somebody else you don't need to ask for it you don't need to act different you don't need to earn it you don't need to build it it will just come naturally because that will be what's meant for you you know i love you so much please do not let this affect your self-esteem your worth way more than you think clearly because if you don't realize that somebody's

sitting down with you and saying to you I don't love you anymore is a good enough reason to go okay well then I'm not wasting any more of my time with you I'm not wasting any more of my life with you we've had an amazing time we've got an amazing story that I'll hold close to my heart forever thanks for the memories it's been amazing you know but it is what it is I know what I deserve and you know I hope that work colleague makes you very fucking happy but you have to think about yourself and like I said already you have to think about yourself. And like I said already, you have to love yourself more than you love this person. You deserve better than that. And you just need to know that. You need to look in the mirror and look at yourself and think,

what do I deserve? Someone that loves me, someone that wants me. Or if you can't get that from somebody, then you'll be much better off on your own. And you can love yourself. We don't need anyone. Yeah, we'll find someone. But we don't need anyone right now. You'll find on your own. You will feel empowered walking away from someone.

And let me tell you, watch him come running back. Watch when he sees you walk away with your head held high. Watch him. Oh, that sniff was gross. Watch him come running towards you. Yeah, take my word for it it might take six days it might take six weeks it might take six months it might take a year he'll come back okay i love you so much this is awful it's an awful pain to feel

but you have what it takes listen to my breakup episode if you go through with it listen to my breakup episode if you don't go through that i'll support you every step of the way keep me updated we all love you so much and i'm sending you a massive massive hug i love you all right guys oh that's an awful one to end on what a horrible note because it's an awful pain i felt that pain i'm sure so many of you have felt that pain but i'll tell you what when someone don't want you no more and then you leave it's a it's the best fucking feeling like when you decide actually I'm not wasting any more of my life of someone that doesn't even want me when you walk away and you detach you think what the fuck was I doing you like she will get to that point where she can look back and go oh my god

I'm so glad I'm where I am now you'll learn so many lessons from this do you know what I mean and we've all got your backs oh what sad note to end on well we've got the confession diaries coming up which will cheer us all up so let's take a deep breath let's release all of that energy that we just built up, not that I can really breathe into my nose right now, and release, releasing all that energy, in with the love, out with the hate, in with the love, ready, out with the hate, stunning, hope you guys did that with me, Hope you guys did. If you didn't, go back and do it, please. I really feel like I make you feel better. All right, guys, let's get into the confession diaries.

okay what have you guys been up to recently you dirty dirty dogs don't you bitches okay let's kick it off with this one because i absolutely love this one i was that drunk at a festival that i was weeing everywhere like just walking around it's the thought of it just like like what cracks me up is the thought of you not actually being aware and like you're just walking around this piss flying out down your legs like it's better if you had a skirt on for me like that image of you just walking around and you have no clue and everyone's looking at you like that girl is literally pissing all over herself and your friends are just like not even telling you. I love it. It sounds like you had an amazing time.

Okay. I got drunk and was sick in his car on the second day. I can't believe I didn't give him the ick. Oh, I don't think that would give someone the ick. I think this is what I always say about the ick, right? I think if someone actually likes you, you can't give them the ick. I think this is what I always say about the ick, right? I think if someone actually likes you, you can't give them the ick. Whereas like if he was, if he was on that second date knowing he just wanted to bang you, that probably would have given the ick. Do you know what I mean? I've doubled my body count this year and honestly I've lived my best single life. Round of applause

for this girl. I hope it was protected and safe and everybody involved was single. Okay, amazing. I mean, I also did the same, but to be fair, at the time my body count was two, so it doesn't really go to say much. But anyway, one time a guy finished in my mouth and I had to throw up in his bin five seconds after. So awful. Oh my jesus christ like you threw like vomit like you vomited is that what you're telling me i i feel like i really need to hear more of these blowjob stories where you guys like have come in your mouth and freak out like i need more of these stories so please send them my way because i find them so entertaining so many of you said you was laughing with me on the last confession diaries when we was talking about the girl who was like running around with

the cum in her mouth i feel like my podcast has actually lost the plot a bit like two seconds ago we were talking about heartbreak and now we're talking about ejaculation do you know what i mean fuck it do you know what i mean fuck them what they're gonna do arrest me I have to catch me first wait it's not arrest me it's shoot me shoot is it shoot me fucking hell anyway if by July 2023 my boyfriend still can't drive I've promised myself I'm leaving oh my god oh my god it's a big deal to you hey to be fair I always say this and I'm such a hypocrite because I cannot drive but if if I was dating someone and they were like I can't drive this is the end I'm such a hypocrite I can't drive I've never had a driving lesson but I'll tell you why I was defending myself on TikTok live everyone always thinks I'm. But I'll tell you why. I was defending myself on TikTok Live. Everyone always thinks I'm just lazy.

I'll tell you why I never learned to drive, Kate. So I went straight to uni when I turned 18. And then lived in Cambridge for three years. First of all, I'm not going to learn to drive while I'm a student. Second of all, I lived in Cambridge, which is like known for everybody cycling. So I was a cyclist. So I've been on the roads. I've been on the roads I've been on the roads yeah I've I've always been hit by a couple of cars from around a couple of roundabouts um and then I moved straight to London for a couple of

years and then I moved back to Somerset for a matter of months and then I moved back to London and then I moved back to Somerset for a matter of months and then I moved back to London and then I moved back to Somerset for a matter of months and then I moved back to London and then I got a job on a cruise ship so I lived in America for like two months or not even actually and then I moved back home and then it was lockdown and then I moved to London again where I'm bearing my I'm not going to learn to drive in London because I'm not a lunatic right and now I've I've been living back in Somerset for like eight nine months and you know I've my life did a 180 I had bigger fish to fry than learning to drive hun do you know what I mean like I've had to get back on my feet I had to quit two jobs I had to move back into a bedroom we've been DIYing this whole fucking gaff around here i've been too busy i was just too busy

no financially it hasn't been a thing but i feel like next year it will be you know like fuck it i'm not gonna be on the roads oh i'm terrified i'm petrified because i'm 25 years old and i've never stepped foot in a driving seat actually i have my mum let me take her car no no no that's not what I mean she didn't let me take her car we were on the beach together where you can like drive it was in a place called Breen um and she let me sit in the driver's seat and she was teaching me how to like get the bite whatever that means I was like getting the bite on the clutch I was like vroom vroom straight into the fucking ocean nearly because i thought this is how naive i am to drive him right i'm picturing when you're in the arcades yeah and you you play mario kart and your foot goes bang on the pedal yeah that was me that was me i was like i didn't

realize you literally just have to kiss the pedal with your big toe like I was literally like straight down flat down my mum was like no no no but I'm being very dramatic like I we were very far away from the water but it was one of those moments um and that was quite traumatizing for me uh I did give it another go and she said I was really good at getting the bite I'm not sure what that means I can't even remember what I had to do. It was like, you have to like get your foot. I'm talking like you guys don't fucking drive, all of you. So I'm just gonna shut up. Anyway, so anyone that judges me for not having a driving license, get off my dick. Okay. That is why. That's my confession. Anyway, back to this girl. For reference on my confession anyway back to this girl for reference on my confession it's been four

years of him promising he will to be honest that's fair enough to be honest i'm with you on that if he doesn't learn to drive break up with him okay last confession it's a bigger one this is a very raunchy one guys me and my ex used to work together in an office we would have sex all day every day at work touch each other under the desk in the stairwell toilets etc we had an office level dedicated for lunchtime slash chill area and we would have sex on the sofa there all day any opportunity it was so risky but unreal, I would be on lunch, he would pretend to go toilet, quickly come up and make me squirt and then run back down to work red-faced, so bad but so good, why are the most toxic relationships always the best, sex, haha, love you so much,

that, that sounds exhausting, like you just, I would rather be my lunch i'm not gonna lie like i'm one of the people this is why i'm one of the people that like i don't have public sex and stuff like i'd rather just have sex at home and i love it like i'm a sexual gal but the thought of like being in a public space and like texting someone like come and lick my purse like oh my god i'm never getting anywhere in life the things that come out of my mouth and i want to be on a western show my children's theater oh my god but seriously seriously i love that for you it sounds very raunchy and crazy and just gorge but yeah i um just pretty crazy let's do one more um oh my god this is fucking crazy this is fucking crazy guys hey Leah adore you and the

podcast adore you but I'm not sure after this confession my confession is I was so in love with my best friend's boyfriend that I fueled some fire between them and eventually convinced her he was toxic and to dump him which she did and their relationship ended what the fuck so you didn't even go for him like you were just like if i can't have him no one will jesus honey that's some crazy moves right there i'm a bit afraid of you but I love you too um yeah crazy times love the confessions guys keep them coming I always um pop a story up every week most of the time it's on a Monday of the weekly debate um and a confessions box so don't miss it thank you guys for sharing all your deepest darkest secrets with me absolutely stunning this week let's wrap up the episode

okay guys i feel like i come back from every little break with, okay, but I don't really know what else to say. Welcome back. It's me again, still me, Leah, on the line. We're here to wrap up the episode. By the way, the BF is featuring on an episode shortly. We have two mics in the building, which means guests will return. I will be getting all my close people on the pod.

Obviously, we will go back into like people that you guys know some like um influencers and social media people will be super fun we'll get them on this this year coming for sure that is a definite goal for me to make an effort with that again it's not like I haven't made an effort it's just I'm in Somerset do you know what I mean but I'm gonna try and find like a studio I can use in London so if anyone has any ideas anyone has any links to that shout shout me honey but anyway the BF is coming on I think I want to get my sister on my best friend on we've had Zoe on before and I really want to get her back on it again Jess will be coming on my sis and the bf hopefully I can convince my mom you guys love

my mom's advice um so yeah it'll be really fun I wonder if I can convince my brother to do an episode that would be good that would be juicy I wonder if I could convince him probably not he hates anything that I do on social media he literally finds me the most embarrassing person alive um but anyway so the bf is coming on an episode and we want to know what you guys want so i think it'll be really fun obviously we'll do some dilemmas um because i think it's really helpful to get like a male brain involved for the perspective but also i feel like it would be so fun because so many of you guys let me know that you like listening with your boyfriend or girlfriend so i feel like it'd be so fun because so many of you guys let me know that you like listening with your boyfriend or girlfriend so I feel like it'd be really fun to do an episode where we play like a couple's game and you guys can play as well like kind of like mr and mrs like along the lines of

like who is the most uh like who says sorry first and then you'd be like three two one me or you and you guys can play and argue and break up like we will do you know what i mean i feel like that would be so fun so let me know any ideas you have for the episodes with my sister with anyone let me know i feel like it'd be so so so fun um but yeah i love you guys honestly thank you so much when i did my attention seeking thing last episode where I was like I feel like everybody hates this podcast now you guys did send me some really nice messages that was like we don't we love it so thank you I needed that I really did need it my imposter syndrome was um at an all-time high and it still is I won't lie but it did it did help it does make me feel better when I just get a bit of reassurance from you guys imagine being in a relationship with me though don't nod i'm amazing

anyway um yeah anything you guys want from the podcast any ideas you have as always throw them my way any weekly debate ideas always keep sending me your dilemmas and your confessions um i'm constantly working through them so if you have sent me one and i haven't read it if it was a while ago send me it again but if it was still quite recent there's still a chance i will get to it so yeah i love you guys you are the best i hope you're all looking forward to christmas but like i said at the start i know christmas can be a really difficult time for a lot of people so if it's going to be a difficult one this year i'm thinking of you um i'll have a drink for you a toast to you i will toast my what's that drink you have on christmas morning called the prosecco and orange juice

begins with b oh my god it's so annoying for everyone listening bucks no is it there's another name for it like a proper name the defo is hold on is everyone shouting out while they listen to me right now they're agreeing with me no i know it is bucks fizz but there is a name. Oh, mimosa. Yeah, a mimosa. Thank you. Yeah, Buxfizz. I feel like, what is a mimosa? Is there a difference? Maybe mimosa is like champagne.

Which, if that's the case, that's what I'll be drinking. You can count on your Buxfizz over there because you're a Northerner. I will. Buxfizz. It is Buxfizz. But anyway, I love you guys um always thinking of you always manifesting good things for all of you and thank you for everything thanks for always tuning in and listening i really enjoyed your company today i hope you enjoyed mine

and i will see you on friday for a brand new episode I love you bye