Leah on the Line - 49: What would you do if you started dating someone and their ex told you they were bad news?

Episode Date: January 3, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to a brand new episode of Leah on the Line and the FIRST episode of 2023! Today we debated what you would do if you started dating someone and their exes told you they were bad news. Would you listen? The dilemmas this week went from being neglected by our friends in a new relationship, family feuds to finding out your boyfriend was flirting on a night out! What would you do?! Thank you so much for all your love and support, it means so so much to me. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leah on the line how are you happy to use day you wouldn't think i actually consider myself an okay singer the way i sing every every intro happy to use day yeah hope you guys had the best new years happy new year how was it what did you guys do did you stay in did you go out so we ended up booking a night in hotel um it was in southampton how random is that never been to Southampton in my life if you live in Southampton shout out how come just out of curiosity like what's in Southampton I know I can't talk I live in Somerset do you know what I mean in a small town listen I love it I was like yes hey what do people do in Southampton they were the nicest people I'll tell you that

why am I talking like it was a whole not another country it was literally up the road or down the road along the road and we had a really nice time we went to a party in the hotel so we had a bottle of prosecco i had a massive meltdown because my hair wasn't going right and i literally wanted to cry real tears but i was like there's no way i can go i'm not going because it's new years i mean i've got to go now we've come all this way when i say go is it's just going downstairs and i just thought oh fuck i'm do you know what i mean it is what it is i'm only with my boyfriend he loves me already so do you know what I mean and then we ended up having so much fun we had a bottle of prosecco while I was getting ready and then we went down to the bar got a bottle of prosecco had um a cocktail and a gin and tonic so

we wasn't like steaming but we was drunk but I woke up with the worst anxiety I don't I don't understand like it's not anxiety as in like oh my god what I don't I don't understand like it's not anxiety as in like oh my god what did I do what did I say like it's never been that it's always just like I wake up scared and panicked and like afraid so when I wake up in my own bed I don't really get it like I might get a bit of like oh god feeling a bit shaky but when I wake up somewhere else my heart pounds and all I can all that comes out of my mouth and it happens about seven times throughout the night I'll wake up and all it comes out my mouth is like and it's just the most horrible feeling but my boyfriend

is just the biggest angel on the planet of the earth and he just like scoops me up and he's just like it's okay it's okay go back to sleep go back to sleep it's like i get hypnotized and then i fall back to sleep and then about half an hour later i wake up going but anyway apart from that i had a fucking fantastic time we was dancing all night we got we was actually the last ones in the bar with there was like time to go time to go party's over but i was like oh my god look at me i'm actually crazy getting kicked out the club getting kicked out the club now i was like let's go upstairs let's go to bed and then we ordered some food scoffed our faces watched a bit of friends and then I would say we had an amazing

night of love making but I came on my period happy new year to me yeah happy new year but anyway I hope you guys had the best night if you just stayed in part of me is a bit jealous because like even though i had so much fun it's like is that feeling in the morning ever worth it it's actually not but then i say to myself like leah relax you had fun it's okay you had fun you enjoyed yourself but i get it any time that i like drink and i wake up somewhere else i'm like she want to be at home in my bed just want to be with my mom do you know what i mean but apart from i had a really good time. If you went out and got really, really drunk and woke up with anxiety like me, don't worry, hon, me too.

And then every year I go, I'm just going to stay in next New Year's. I'm just going to stay in, be myself, be happy, safe, content with the people that I love. And then it comes to New Year's, I'm like, I'm not staying in like a fucking loser. Do you know what I mean? I'm not a loser if I stay in. I'm actually a legend if I stay in yeah so um apart from that I had a really good time let's see what I'll be doing next year probably the same fucking thing I do it every year um how do you guys feel about the new year it's a weird feeling like part of me is like I'm really proud of everything I accomplished in 2022 and I'm proud of the journey that I've been on and the growth and the achievements I made. Like my podcast, it's the proudest thing I've ever done.

I love this. I've signed to social media management. Social media is my job now. I love it. I've never been so proud of myself. And then the other part of me is like, did I achieve everything I wanted to achieve? No. Am I where I want to be no so it's like oh godly I just be grateful for everything that you've had everything you've done everything you've accomplished to get this far just be grateful to see in another year do you know what I mean and then when I think about the new year I'm like really excited and ready for all the other things I'm gonna achieve and all the amazing memories I'm gonna make and then the other part of me is like but what if I don't achieve them and what if I die like obviously you guys now have a fear of death which apparently I've been talking about a lot

recently as I've just said this again I'm realizing I've actually been talking about my fear of death a lot recently and I can't lie it's it's a little bit of a peak at the moment and I'm starting to think like what if 2023 is the year of my death and I don't know about it shut the fuck up you know what I mean just shut up you've literally just made that up in your head what's actually wrong with you oh my god I can't just shut up Leo honestly try and keep it light hey light and positive fuck me but yeah it's a weird feeling I'm positive but I'm also afraid and I'm proud but I'm also I don't know what the word is I'm never disappointed in myself I'm always proud of myself do you know what I mean I hope you guys are proud

of yourselves but I feel like I just need to shut up now because this is just the most annoying intro hope you guys are feeling positive probably not after everything I've just said I love you I'm proud of you if you're not proud of yourselves I'm proud of you I think you're all doing amazing and I'm proud and grateful to be seeing in a new year with all of you guys by my side and had so many lovely messages and comments because I put up like a happy new year to all of you guys post I had so many lovely messages and comments saying like thanks for being there with me through blah blah blah and this dilemma and when I was going through this you were there for me every week on the podcast and like you guys are there for me as well like that's one thing you guys need to realize yeah like when I'm going through it

you guys always there with me every Tuesday and Friday you know we have you don't know how much you have dragged me through the year you know we've been through everything together and I love you and I'm proud of you and I can't wait for another year of amazingness with each other. Do you know what I mean? Wow, that was way more positive. Let's get straight into the episode. Okay, girls and boys, do I have a good weekly debate for you? I was just sat there thinking, what can we debate this week and I at the moment I like to go through the dilemmas and find one from there to inspire the weekly debate but there wasn't anything in particular that stood out that was like debate worthy because a lot of the dilemmas that we're going to face this week as you will see are very specific so I was like I can't really debate any of these things I'm gonna have to put my thinking cap on and I came up with this and I'm going to have to put my thinking cap on. And I came up with this and I'm quite proud of myself because I do think it's a good one. I can't lie. So this week we are debating. Okay. The question

for you is if you started dating someone and had their exes coming forward saying that they're bad news, what do you do? Right. Yeah. So imagine we're just starting seeing someone, his ex sends you a message. Hey babe um i've just seen that you're seeing blah blah blah and i just want to give you a heads up he's a cheater he's abusive he will manipulate you he will gaslight you he's a narcissist right are you gonna go oh okay babe thank you so much for letting me know see you later dylan do you know what i mean see you later Dylan do you know what I mean see you later Dylan or are we gonna go whatever bitch you know how are we gonna how are we gonna take this news so let's see what you guys have said I have no clue where you guys are gonna stand on this one so let's have a little read okay first

one hear both sides of the story ask other people too and go from there see this is the tricky thing because if it is true like let's say we're dealing with a gaslighter cheater narcissist right he's not gonna go yeah okay fine she's she's telling the truth they're gonna go it was different with her it was toxic you're different i didn't love her like i love you it's different do you know what i mean so we can hear both sides of the story but if what she's saying is true we're not going to get the truth from him because he's not going to want you to know that do you know what I mean um this girl says everyone deserves a second chance and people change slash mature unless it was loads of people telling me

then maybe I'd consider their opinion it's not really fair to judge anyone. Anyone can change if they decide to. I would carry on dating them, but be extra cautious. Any red flags I'd leave straight away. Okay, but this is the thing, we like to think so, don't we? But when you're like, say this happens, and then you go, right, well, i'll be the judge yeah maybe i'm different and then you see the red flags it takes a while before they show you the red flags and then it's like oh it's too late i'm in love i'm fucked do you know what i mean if we if it is a love bomber i mean if it is a narcissist we're gonna get the love bomb and then it's too fucking late it's too bleeding late do you know what i mean but it all it's all

well and good feeling like we can do that hopefully we're all strong enough to do that if that ever happens um i would take it with a pinch of salt but also be careful just in case um the guy will naturally get defensive but keep it in mind and take it with a pinch of salt some exes girlfriends definitely want to sabotage but also watch how he speaks about his exes yeah i say this a lot if a guy comes to you and he's like yeah she was a psycho she was a psycho she was crazy she was obsessed with me she was a psycho it's like hmm were they do you know what i mean this is a little bit of a coincidence maybe there's a common denominator here do you know what i mean um exes can be bitter. Don't believe everything you hear, but be cautious.

I had this and ended up being true, but you have to find out for yourself. See, this is the thing. I do know that there are some people out there that will just want to sabotage because it's like, I'm her and I don't want anyone else to have him. Do you know what I mean? So I'm going to tell you all the bad things about him. But maybe it would have been different with you, you know? This is an interesting one. It says, I'd ignore it for me, but if it was my friends in the situation, I'd tell them to listen to the ex. So this is the thing, like when you're emotionally involved, it's so hard, isn't it? It wouldn't be a deal breaker, but I would defo keep the comments in mind. Depends on the timeline. It's irrelevant's irrelevant people change and grow they act right for the right person

i do agree on the timeline thing so like say i was seeing somebody and then it was like oh we broke up a month ago and his ex is telling me he's a narcissist blah blah blah actually to be honest a narcissist I have learned through experience and also the narcissist episode that you can't really change a narcissist in my opinion and it's not really a risk I'm willing to take do you know what I mean I'm not trying to be the one to change you I'd rather just find someone that's not a narcissist. But if it was just like, oh, he was really horrible. Like, oh, he cheated on me or he's a liar. Like if it was like negative behavior and it was a month before we met, you're still that person. Do you know what I mean?

That's not enough time for you somewhere to change and grow. But if it was like somebody from three years ago, I'd be like, well, well you know he's had three years to change and grow up and develop as a human being maybe it would be different so I do agree with you on the timeline situation someone says one ex I'd stay multiple run yeah I'm with you proceed with caution don't believe too quick as they might be bitter exes but be very careful i've actually done this to my ex's new girlfriend he cheated on me oh there's more and was such a narcissist that she needed to know he love bombed her though but she did believe me i wouldn't end the relationship but also would wouldn't forget what i've been told see how my partner reacts does he get angry red flag emoji

i'd hear them out and see what motive they have behind telling you yeah that's true it's like why would you tell me because the thing is I've got I've got some people that I could say that about do you know what I mean but I wouldn't because I couldn't give a fuck like if anyone that I know is a narcissist or was horrible to me got with somebody else, there is no way in my mind I would be like, right, well, I'm going to give her a heads up because I couldn't give a shit. It's none of my business. Like, she'll see. Do you know what I mean? Like, even if they came to me, I was like, do you think I should go forward with this person?

But I'd be like, do what you want, hon. Honestly, you make your own decisions. Stop doing me. like do what you want hon honestly you make your own decisions don't do me but I have been in this position where somebody came to me and was like this person's a narcissist they're this they're that and I was like no not with me but at the time I was I was younger and naive and didn't really know what a narcissist was at all so I was like fuck I'm like I'll be I'll be sweet everything's gonna be fine yeah I wasn't so should have listened but so it's difficult it is difficult because I know I know how easy it is just to go but it's different with me it's different with me

because this is the thing sometimes it is different with you do you know what I mean I do genuinely believe like a lot of you guys are saying people can change people can i don't know necessarily if it's people would change for someone for the right person i don't necessarily know if that's the case i think you have to change because you want to be a better person so like say i was this fucking horrible girlfriend and i treated all my exes like shit and then someone came along and i'm like I'm gonna be an angel and I'm gonna treat you right and I'm gonna stop all my previous toxic behaviors I don't think it's that easy I think that would only come from like I've decided I don't like how I treat people I don't want to be this person anymore I'm gonna be on my own and go through growth and work on myself as a person before I meet somebody and can treat them right so I do think

it comes into account whether they've been single for a while or if they're like fresh out of a relationship where apparently they was horrible you know um ask why but probably still continue because I've been the crazy ex approaching his new girls when realistically he was a diamond oh what a turn of events guys okay so it's confirmed that people will say this and it not be true um i tried to do this with my ex's new girlfriend and got ignored they're always not going to listen but they'll find up for themselves which is sad i wish people would listen so this is the thing it's like you know what it's actually none of our business you know I mean like you if if you're gonna end up going through what I went through with that person you'll see and you will and if you don't amazing perfect I hope you don't

I hope it is different for you and why am I gonna get involved you know I mean that's your journey your life your decision so because at the end of the day it's like you're gonna just think I want them back or you're gonna think that I have malicious intentions because really if I don't care about my ex moving on with somebody else why would I do that because you're a stranger to me I don't know you to like to the new girl I don't know you why am I why would I go out my Because you're a stranger to me. I don't know you. So like to the new girl, I don't know you. Why am I, why would I go out my way to protect you from somebody when you could just make your own decisions, go through what I went through or have an amazing, happy life with this person? Do you know what I mean? Does that make sense? I feel like that makes sense. So yeah, it is a difficult one because like we're all saying are they going to listen probably not is it any of our business no and it might be different with them so why would we try and sabotage something that could be totally different so it's a difficult one would

i listen i think it comes down to how long ago their relationship was if somebody said to me that they're a narcissist I think now in my life I'm steering clear like if there's even an amber flag about a narcissist behavior I'm out of town like it's not for me I'm not taking that risk ever again so but if it was like oh he cheated on me and it was like years ago I think like we've done this debate I don't believe in once a cheater always a cheater you guys might think I'm really naive for thinking that but I really don't but if it was like oh he's cheated on every single one of his girlfriends he was in a relationship a month ago and he cheated on her as well or he cheated on his ex to be with me like any of these behaviors that were like really really recent and never stopped then i'd be like

well it ain't gonna be fucking different with me is it do you know what i mean so it's a difficult one it's a difficult one i do believe if somebody's been single for a long time i can respect that like if they used to be i don't know because at the end of the day it's like you just want a fucking nice guy didn't you oh it's a difficult one that's why we debate it Hans that's why we debate it let me know what you guys think anyone that didn't send any response I love just seeing your dms about when you listen to this and want to let me know your opinion always share it because I know what it's like when you listen to a podcast and you're listening you want to say something because you have your opinion send it my way I do love reading them even after the episode's gone out so

always send them my way I love you guys Thank you for all sending in your responses. And let's get into some dilemmas. Okay, let's kick off with this one. I feel like we have all had this problem or been the problem. Okay. It says, hey girl, I know this dilemma may be very a very small problem but i'm just wondering if you would be able to offer me some advice a girl i've been friends with for just over a year we can call her sarah has recently got a boyfriend and i feel like i've been completely

forgotten about she has known this boy for a little less than a month and although i'm extremely happy for her i'm unsure if it's normal for her to have completely gone quiet on me or if it's normal that I'm bothered by it. For example, I took Sarah away for a weekend with me on my birthday and the whole weekend she spent messaging this boy who she'd probably known for under a week at this time. I used to see her most weekends and would have frequent conversations, however, since this new boy has come along, I barely talk to her. She'll be with him and will just be ignoring my messages. I don't want to say anything as I don't know how to approach that situation when I talk to people about it it's always just we all do that please help I don't know if I'm going crazy or if this is just normal

thank you okay I know if I don't know if normal's web is common it's definitely common I feel like um we it's very easy to get wrapped up in something when it's new and it's not personal like believe me she definitely loves and adores you as a friend but she's wrapped up in this new relationship she's in the honeymoon period she's obsessed and she's loving it and you know what although it hurts as the friend to be like oh fucking see you later then do you know what i mean it is really common and it's not personal like it's not like she's been like yeah fuck you i got a man now i don't want to be friends with you like it's just it just happens and it is just part of life and it is it's the thing we do when we're young and we're like dating and we're obsessed with him i'm obsessed with him i want to be with him all the time i'm thinking about him all the time i want to text him all day every single day

so it is very common but that doesn't mean that it's not upsetting for you so i think you have the right to be upset but don't take it personally don't think that it comes from any sort of feeling towards you or like any ill intent like it is literally she's just loving life with this new guy and that doesn't mean it's fair and that doesn't mean it's like a nice thing to do but it it just happens and like i know you said it's annoying because every person you talk to about it says oh we all do it and it's just not helpful but it is kind of true like it is kind of true it's hard not to when you're younger especially um and i think you can say to her like you know i'm i know you're getting like wrapped up in this and i'm happy for you i love it like i'm not trying to shit on you

for it like as you should babe you know what i mean but remember me like can we please still make time for each other can we please still hang out it's like here's that thing like i really don't want us to drift apart because you have a new boyfriend I still want our friendship to be strong and consistent like is there a way that we can like even just set a day that's like the day we hang out the day we see each other or like let's try and facetime each other a bit more or like you know let me know what you're up to maybe I can hang out with you I don't mind third wheeling I'm okay with it do you know what I mean but also let's drag her away from him every now and then and I just think be honest about it but also be very like like I know you're not doing this out of like spite or like because you're not

interested in being friends with me this is where she's like actually yeah I am I've been waiting for a way out no I'm kidding but I just think you can say it but just be careful that you're not like oh my god you bitch he and your new boyfriend yeah like it's okay to be like i get it it's fine you're loving life i'm happy for you but maybe don't forget about me like can we still hang out because i really don't want our friends friendship to fizzle out do you know i mean because at the end of the day we've all made this mistake when you get wrapped up in something and it goes wrong you got no one because all your friendships have fizzled out because you didn't prioritize them or make time for them you know so just say to her you know you know I love

you you know I'm happy for you and you know I'll always be here for you when you need me but I kind of need a friend right now too so yeah that's okay I'm sorry you feel like that but also remember not to take it personally she's just just loving life with her new boyfriend. I love you so much. Next dilemma. Okay, this says, hey, absolutely love you and the podcast and I could really do some advice on my dilemma. I love you. Okay, it says, about a week ago, I found out that my boyfriend of four years saw a girl he used to be very close with on a night out he told me that he was very drunk and as she was standing at the bar he pinched her bum and then later on that night said to her if i didn't have a girlfriend which i think is so disrespectful okay well personally i think

that's cheating hands down like you guys we all have different opinions on what is cheating and what isn't, for me, you've cheated on me, that, you literally cheated on me, I'm sorry, there's no ifs or buts around that one, you've, buts, literally, you've literally pinched a girl's arse and said, if I didn't have a girlfriend, if I didn't have a girlfriend, I'd want you, which means I want you now, but I can't have you, because I'm in a relationship and basically you're telling me you're a piece of shit okay continuing on sorry really not helpful at all I'm sure you feel much better now okay continuing on let's try and keep it positive this happened a few months ago but I've only just found out as I went on a work night out and someone I work with tried to kiss

me nothing actually happened but I felt so bad I told my boyfriend straight away and then he came out with that what the fuck so you're like babe um let me tell you something Billy tried to kiss me at the work party and he's like yeah well I saw Megan on Now the other night and I pinched her arse. Arse? And I pinched her arse. What the fuck? What? I'm sorry, did he, like... Do you know what?

It hurt his ego that some bloke's come on to his girlfriend so he's tried to get you back there. Yeah, well, don't worry. Don't worry, because I had a little situation like that as well. Yeah, except you were the fucking piece of shit that night. What the fuck? Okay, carrying on. Our relationship has been amazing before all of this, and we've never really had any issues like

this. Well, that we know of. Oh, God, I'm really helping. Oh, my God. Turn this podcast off. I'm not helpful. And we've never really had any issues like this i'm just worried if this is a massive red flag and i'm silly to stay with him or if i try and forgive and forget he has said all the right things since since and brought me flowers etc but i would just like some advice on it thank you love you i love you and sorry apparently i'm a terrible friend and i'm the last person anybody should come to when they need support and reassurance anyone want to take over this podcast i don't think i'm qualified okay listen up

listen up we're gonna get real as if i wasn't real enough right i just had some technical technical difficulties but whilst i pause i asked my boyfriend's thought on this thoughts on this and he said something really smart he said regardless of whether like you was in the wrong that night which you went that this guy tried to kiss you right he didn't like it and it's not made him feel good like that's caused him some kind of negative feelings or hurt or ego bruise or whatever and he doesn't like how he feels now so he's tried to project that feeling onto you as well right apart from you weren't in the wrong but he was god love that stunning from him and i think it's unacceptable behavior darling that's what i think and i don't think like

obviously it sounds like you haven't just let him off lightly which good as you shouldn't because he's been like buying you flowers and apologizing and stuff like that as he fucking should um and i don't think you're silly for forgiving him you have it's all in your hands what you are willing to move past with someone and work through with someone and no one should ever judge you for that and i certainly wouldn't because at the end of the day it's not like this is not me um what's the word justifying it or making it better but you know it would be much easier to go see you later later, darling, if you'd kiss someone. But he'd pinch someone's bum. Unacceptable prick.

God, and who said the C word then? And he said, if I didn't have a girlfriend, which, like I said, basically is saying, if I didn't have a girlfriend, I'd sleep with you. And I want to, but I just can't. Morally can't. But I would love to. Like, that's basically what that's saying. So for me i

would just look at it in terms of like why are you attracted to other people why are you looking at other people sexually like that why are you even having them thoughts that's my problem like the disrespect is one thing but the fact that that's going through your head is is actually the bigger problem here so i think you need to have a proper chat with him and just go with your gut on it and you know if he makes you feel like oh oh, I was just being a dick. I don't actually fancy I was literally just being cocky. I just wanted to feel fucking good about myself, but just being a dick. And you genuinely in your heart feel like he means it.

You know, he's not going to cheat on me again. Personally, I believe that's cheating. But, you know, each to their own. I totally understand people that don't think that's cheating as well. But if in your heart you're like, I trust trust him he's not going to do anything else like that was a one-time thing he regrets it it was a mistake blah blah then stay with him and move move past it together and make sure he understands that he's going to have to rebuild that trust do you know what i mean and there is there is hurt there there is damage that's been done

um there is some repairing to do yeah but if you also in your gut feel like i don't trust you now i don't like even the way you're responding to me now i don't like it doesn't feel right don't ignore that feeling but whatever you choose to do i support you all the way babe i love you and i'm really sorry because this is a horrible way to feel i love you let me know what happens next keep us all updated next dilemma okay next one is actually an update to a dilemma gorge we love the updates okay keep them coming this says hey girl i don't know if you remember but a few months ago i sent a confession saying that i had feelings for a girl but that i'd only ever been with boys and you said to tell her so i did now I can only feel

responsible for this when you say something like that and you told me to do it so I did and this is what's happened thanks to you okay listen I don't say to do things I say you could okay don't blame me again and I take responsibility it. Okay, it goes like this. And then we ended up sleeping with each other twice. Stunning. Which was good and consensual, however. Shit hit the fan. Long story, but I'll try to make it short. We only became friends in 2022 through a mutual friend and were both bisexual. There'd always been flirty banter here and there and then we started going on nights out together and we would get with each other. But this would only ever happen when we were drunk. The two times we slept together we were also drunk. She told me when she was drunk that she

did also have feelings for me but that she was scared as she'd also never dated a girl, which I understood. However, I'd basically been strung along for four months with no idea what she wanted at all okay that's a tricky one and knowing that she would text loads of people every day but if I was to text anyone else it was a massive issue okay so here we're dealing with someone that doesn't know what they want um and therefore your wait what's the saying your you know I'm saying fucking hell i had a date planned with a boy in september because i thought i'm not wasting my time waiting around for her yeah fair enough babe she found out about it and called me a slag for it lol stunning fuck you

first of all i didn't end up going on the date as i got ghosted but anyways ha ha ha that's okay at the end of 2022 I started speaking to a guy I used to go to school with who I was really good friends with previously we went on a few dates and then I thought I'd let her know as she was my friend before anything happened and you want to tell your friends things like this right yeah I don't know if you want to tell like friends that you crossed the line with though because they're no longer just your friend but whatever let's go apparently i was wrong she got so fuming at me was having a go at me for ages saying i'm setting myself up to get hurt because i couldn't tell her where it was gonna go i had no idea we'd only got back in contact for about two weeks at this point yeah that's

fair enough you don't know where it's gonna go i ended up sleeping with this guy and she found out she then proceeded to meet her ex and sleep with him oh it seems a bit like a okay you want to play that game yeah all right watch this do you know what I mean when I questioned her on it in a friend way like what the fuck you doing hun she said she'd only met him because I started it oh I was right whatever that means anyway she then ended up sleeping with two other people at the end of 2022 one of which she doesn't know i know about but i'm just so angry about the whole situation she made me feel like shit for speaking to someone else and then basically said it's my fault she ended up me and her ex moral of the story is think carefully before you're telling your friends you have feelings for them moral of the story is don't listen to anything i say on this podcast

and cut out negative people in 2023 sorry it's so long and not really a dilemma but i just needed to tell you love you in the pod so much i'm glad you still love me in the pod after i may have got you into this problem okay here is why it's this is proof that it is always a danger zone when we cross the line with friends and we say i want to to have sex with you. Do you know what I mean? Or like, I'm fine with you. Do you know what I mean? It's always, it's always a risky game. And you have to decide on your own if you're willing to take the risk. And you are. And it went to shit. So basically, this will be the last episode of You're On The Line. be the last episode of you're on the line um you know what hun life is about risks yeah and listen if you didn't tell her how you felt you'd you might have always looked back and thought what if and no you don't have to think that thanks to me you're welcome

but i'm joking but at the same time i'm fucking right like do you know what i mean like you would have looked back and always been like i should have got off my chest i should have told her how i felt you never knew when you came forward with these feelings you never knew if it was gonna go well or not but this is the risk when even if they're not your friend this is you always risk anything when you get involved with somebody because you could always end up hurt whether they're your friend or not do you know what i mean so it's a difficult one but even though it's not turned out well i'm glad you did it like i'm glad you was honest and i'm glad you gave it a go i'm not even going to write

it off between you two to be honest it just feels complicated and i feel like when it comes to your sexuality it's a very confusing one like you don't know if you're ready to experiment in this area you don't know if you if you're ready to be in a relationship with somebody and you don't know you you don't it's confusing and I get that and that's why it's it's sort of a whole another layer of like why this is difficult so you're not just dealing with someone who doesn't know if they want to be with you but you're dealing with someone who doesn't know if they want to be with you but you're dealing with someone who's figuring their sexuality out which is so difficult on its own so I feel like it's complicated but I don't I'm not actually writing it off between the two of you I feel like there's still hope so you know take what I say with a pinch of salt is what

we've learned today but I feel like it's been a bit of like she doesn't know if she wants to be with you but she does know that she likes you and she does know that she likes the thought of being with you but she's also a little bit scared of it and she's also like she doesn't like the thought of anybody else being with you and the thought of you fancying anyone else she's confused and she's conflicted and obviously that's sort of come at your expense and it's you've ended up hurting the process which is just shit and not fair doesn't make it okay like do you know what i mean but i i do understand so yeah i'm not writing it off to be honest i think this is just a bit of a complicated journey and you you might find your way together maybe this is just your

story i'm just a sucker for love you know i just want it to work out i just want it all to work out for the best. And it will, that's the thing you have to remember. What's meant for you won't pass you by. So if you are meant to be with this girl, it will happen regardless of the journey, you know. And I kind of want you to end up madly in love so that it's all thanks to me. You're welcome. Next dilemma. Okay okay we have a family feud on our hands is that the word feud why is that so loud feud oh god that hurt anyone else's ears okay hi lovely i love your podcast and i really need your advice in this dilemma i love you okay let's give it give him my best shot my brother is getting married in april he has been

with his partner since they were teenagers they're now 29 my partner and i have been together for four years i'm 25 for reference oh me too we had a six month break during covid when i was really struggling mentally and we both had some self-growth slash care to do gorgeous we are now back together and i'm moving cities in march my brother and i were close growing up but have drifted as adults due to having little in common he has invited my partner to his wedding but only for the evening reception not for the ceremony there is an update to this guys i will get to it hold on it gets it gets more complicated i'm quite hurt by this as we are in a committed relationship and have been together for four years so it's not something

new which i would understand otherwise i get that my partner and I have had our ups and downs admittedly but we have worked through things together gorgeous I'm happy for you I'm glad I complete completely respect that it's their wedding and they're entitled to be picky with their guest list I'm still very hurt however and feel it's quite unfair and disrespectful to my partner should I bring this up or accept that it's quite unfair and disrespectful to my partner should i bring this up or accept that it is their wedding and therefore their decision at the end of the day i don't want to end up resenting him my brother for it and drifting further apart p.s our parents separated five years ago and i'd like to have my partner there to navigate what could be

slightly uncomfortable for me with it being mainly my mom's family and my brother's fiance's family invited okay please help love you bye now there is more she sent another email which says update from my family feed my brother hasn't invited my partner to his wedding full stop as we were going through a rough patch when the invitations were sent out i'm so annoyed and feel this will definitely come between me and my brother but my parents will definitely take his side i understand it's his wedding but he is so disrespectful when it comes to things like this and has no consideration for others feelings how do i handle this i'm so angry with him and don't want to stay for the evening do now oh love you bye okay so was he originally invited to the evening and then now he's not invited at

all my brother hasn't invited my partner to his wedding full stop okay so i'm assuming he's not invited to any of it and you're saying I don't even want to stay for the fucking party anymore now this is a really difficult one and this is why weddings are so complicated and can cause so much tension and I remember I can't remember where I heard this but I think it might have been on the girl's bathroom. They said that they'd spoke to somebody who got married. And they said the one thing that they would do differently is just like not invite people to keep people happy. Like just genuinely invite who you want at your wedding. So like bearing that in mind, I do get it if they have any kind of feelings towards this person but

then I also get your perspective where it's like you're causing tension do you know what I mean so I get it I do get both sides to be honest and I feel like it's difficult um I'm torn between like you know what you said like it's their wedding day they have the right to be picky it's not about me let me just show up and support my brother it is what it is and between the other side where you're feeling like well it's kind of insulting towards my partner do you know what I mean but I would honestly say try and have a really friendly conversation with your brother and be like look I would love to have my boyfriend at your wedding I would just love it and if he is seriously like look I don't want him there that's an issue that obviously needs to be hopefully and

can be worked through but I do think when it comes to the fact that it's his wedding we've just got to show up and support the brother do you know what I mean let's try not to take this personally I know it's difficult but you know it's not about me it's about you let me just show up and be a good sister like if you can really have a nice conversation and approach it really gently and be like it would just really mean a lot to me if he could come with me you know why don't you want him there is it something we can work through you know maybe you can get together with him and have a talk with him get some things off your chest if it make you feel better maybe we can move forward with a clean slate and then see how you feel about him coming I think maybe that might be our only shot at like

him being there and your brother still being happy because that's ultimately very important do you know what I mean if not the most important so yes really difficult that is a tricky one um and I would be upset too like I I validate your feelings 100% but also we need to like you said it's your wedding day smile and wave like it's kind of one of them so I just think yeah try and approach it gently see if there's a way you can sort of patch up whatever negative feelings they have between each other I don't know if it's just one-sided from your boyfriend from your brother towards your boyfriend sorry or if it's like a mutual like bad vibe I don't know maybe there's something we can fix just be like you know come from it from an angle where you're like I really want you to get on I really want I don't want this like what can we do you know um ask your

boyfriend if if he would feel comfortable approaching your brother you know i don't know that's that's an awkward one but yeah it's a difficult one i'm really sorry i don't have much great advice on that one besides what i've said i hope it's maybe a little bit helpful i don't know keep us all updated let us know what happens be gentle with your approach because i really don't want you to fall out of your brother but i still think go you know when you said I don't want to go to the evening now just go like I don't want you to look back and think oh I was just like I don't know sulking or protesting do you know what I mean like I don't want you to look back and feel bad about the decision you made I think you'll feel better about yourself if you look back and you said well I didn't do anything wrong you know I went and I showed my love and support so I think still go but hopefully you can

come to some sort of decision together nicely good luck gold keep us all updated love you so much okay wow guys they were some really fun dilemmas, actually. I really enjoyed this week. Always send me updates. I love the updates. Like, please send me. I always get DMs from you guys being like, do we have an update from this girl? Like, what happened to this dilemma? What happened? What's the outcome? Honestly, if I get them, I will read them. So just send them to me. I'm always really excited when I do get an update. So send them my way if there ever is one. And let's get into the confession diaries. Okay, so I don't know what was in the air over Christmas and New Year's, but we have a lot of confessions coming in at the moment and I'm excited. So well done everyone. I'm going to

kick it off with this one. I came home from my work Christmas party. Do you know what? That's the answer to all of these confessions really. Shit always goes down at the work Christmas parties, doesn't it? Does it not? It does. Anyway, I'll start that again. I came home from my work Christmas party and pissed on my bedroom floor. I share a room with my sister and she woke up and asked what the fuck I was doing, but I continued and it took two days to dry in as I have a carpet. You're telling me you didn't clean it. You're telling me you just thought, oh, the carpet will soak that up your room must stink of piss like it must stink old wee smells strong my brother got home drunk and pissed on his bedroom floor about five six years ago and i can still fucking smell it

honestly he doesn't even live here anymore but his piss lives on so clean that fucking carpet that's what i'm telling you okay next confession i slept oh this is bad i slept with my best friend's ex oh you bitch honestly seriously i'm not even taking that back bitch i am oh my god i love you i didn't mean i didn't mean it hopefully it was like a really long long time ago like your your friend wouldn't even give a shit like hopefully it wasn't like they just broke up and you had sex with them because oh my god that would be really painful oh god scary you scary girl it's okay we forgive you okay i went home with someone on new year's eve and my friends of benefits benefits picked me up three minutes later for a cuddle oh yeah a little

cuddle hey a little cuddle with the friends of benefits. I'm not sure I've heard of that one. Oh my god, I've been sleeping with my boss for nearly a year. And then it says, well that felt good to say out loud. Let me say it for you. I've been sleeping with my boss for nearly a year. Yeah, that does feel good to say. I haven't. I don't have a boss. I am my boss. I haven't. I don't have a boss. I am my boss. Legend. Okay, next confession. I used to go to the gym when I knew I would likely bump into my boyfriend's ex just out of curiosity. Oh my god, fuck that. Honestly, fuck is filth. Whoa. What the fuck? This is filth, but I sometimes masturbate on my long drives back from uni. I'm baffled by that one. You masturbate when you drive see i'm not a driver is this a thing people don't masturbate and drive do they that's fucking dangerous i don't want to be on the road

with you people that's dangerous behavior i do not condone that masturbate all you want darling but why don't we do it when we get home and in a safe environment? Wow. She's bashing one out while she's on the M25. Love that. I mean, I don't. It's really dangerous. Be safe out there. I'm going traveling through Asia with my situationship of six months. Sounds like heartbreak to me.

And I'm kidding. I love it. I hope you fall madly in love and grow old together, to be honest. Keep us all updated with that one. Set of my ex from last year who now has a girlfriend after we saw each other on christmas eve wait he had a girlfriend when he had sex with him let's see let's see um after my four year on off situation shit we finally made it official new year's eve but my best friend told me she would never speak to me again so i'm yet to tell her wait what what does your friend have against this relationship oh my goodness oh my god i need to know more to that can you please send me the whole story

write me a dilemma that sounds interesting okay guys love the confessions this week there must be something in the air over the Christmas, New Year period, because you guys have been up to no good. I love it. Keep them coming. Keep making bad decisions, but be safe. Be safe out there. Don't masturbate and drive. Okay, let's wrap up the episode. Okay, people. Thank you so much for listening to this episode i had so much fun had a right giggle tonight really enjoyed myself hope you guys enjoyed it as well i love talking to you what should we do on friday i really want to call you guys again we definitely need to schedule that in let me know when works best um we'll do that what else can we do i need to do another the blank

episode because i really enjoy them do you know what i had an idea for doing a anxiety episode one that you can put on when you wake up with anxiety because i know most of us get it and i feel like it would be quite nice to have the go-to anxiety episode for when we're waking up with that heart race and impending doom feeling do you know what i mean like it'd be nice to be like hey girl don't worry about it like me too you know maybe i should film it when i have anxiety and then you won't feel alone let me know if you guys want that what else can we do keep them coming you guys are always full of really good ideas so if you have any ideas for the blank episodes, let me know.

They are open to all ideas, whatever you want. What have we done? We've done the breakup episode. We've done the narcissist episode. We've done the singles episode or the dating episode, something like that. Something about being single, love and life. Did we do that? We did do that.

Yeah, we did. The dating episode. We did the self love episode the 20s episode the cheating episode so any ideas that you guys have send them over honey i love them and i hope you guys are feeling positive about the new year if you're not yet that's okay if you haven't kicked off the new year how it looks like everyone else is on social media don't worry me neither me neither same old for me um let's do things in our own time at our own pace when when it feels right to make the changes you plan on making you know don't rush yourself take it slow take it easy

especially this time of year it's an overwhelming time prioritize what you what your body needs right now which might just be doing nothing for a couple of days you know what i mean even if you haven't brushed your hair for a couple of days if you've been in the same pajamas since christmas that'd be kind of gross no i'm kidding as long as you've washed them that's all right so yeah i love you guys um thank you for always getting involved thank you for all of your love and support in 2022. I appreciate you and love you more than you'll ever, ever, ever know. And I'm so excited for what 2023 has to come, but also nervous and apprehensive and anxious about it. And that's okay. And yeah,

I'm just grateful that we're all in this together and we go through everything together. Know that I'm always here with you by your side for your workouts for your walks for your cleaning if you're falling asleep whatever it is whatever you're doing when you decide to put on an episode of Lear on the Line I love being there with you and let's just be there for each other every week hey never leave me all right I love you guys have the best week and I'll speak to you on Friday for a brand new episode I love you