Leah on the Line - 51: My boyfriend cheated on me with MY EX!

Episode Date: January 17, 2023

Hey besties! Welcome to another episode, thank you so much for tuning in. Today we debated whether you guys felt it mattered if you were dating someone who had NEVER been in a relationship before! Our dilemmas ranged from cheating boyfriends to difficulties when sharing a car with your partner. I can't believe it's been a whole year of these episodes, I fall more and more in love with doing this every single week and I cannot thank you all enough for the support you have shown me over the last 12 months. Here's to 12 more! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello! Hi everyone! Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. Happy Tuesday! How was your weekend? How was your Monday? I hope you guys are all really well. Listen, How was your weekend? How was your Monday? I hope you guys are all really well. Listen, I'm a taken and happy gal, but you best believe I'm still running around singing, I can buy myself flowers. Who has that song in their head? I can't get out and I don't want it. I don't want it out. I don't want it out. I'm obsessed with it. Listen, this is the anthem of 2023, okay? Even us taken girls girls we can still love ourselves but anyone else can that's the motto all right it doesn't matter if we're in a relationship and happy yeah you can love me but i can love me as well i can buy myself flowers i can hold my own hand i can write my name

in the sand do you mean i can take myself dancing even though we're in relationships some of us we can still be all we need like do you know what i mean it sounds like me and my boyfriend have had a big argument we're fine i just love that it's an anthem it is the anthem of the year girls and boys okay like i'm sorry i can buy myself flowers write my name in the sand i'm sorry but we can know what I mean? We don't need anyone. Just because we're in a relationship doesn't mean we can't be chanting that song to the gods above. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Anyway, I hope you guys are all really well.

How was your weekend? What did you guys get up to? What did I get up to? Every time I do a Tuesday, I can't even fucking remember the weekend, darling. I actually can't. Oh, I went to London. Ah! I got my face done!

I'm going to sound like a crazy person. Okay, so I went to see the legend of Fila and Botox. Okay, listen, don't panic. I look the same. Like, don't start panicking, thinking, oh, my God, what's she done? I'm still looking a gorgeous gal. The Miley Cyrus song has really got to my head. I'm one fucking stunner.

Are you kidding? But no, I'm one fucking stunner I'm kidding but no no fucking love yourself do you know what I mean anyway I went to see Dr. Roche the legend of the the what's it called filler cosmetics industry oh who fucking knows do you know what I mean anyway I went to see him in London and I really wanted just a little top up on my lips just a little top up but I was really interested to see what he would say because I watch his TikToks all the time and he will look at a girl's face or a guy's face and be like okay so we're a bit uneven on this side or like we could do a bit of this do a bit that so was thinking, Dr. Ross should just go to town on my face. Do you know what I mean? And then he was like, you know, he looked at my lips and he was like, we've got a bit of an overhang on the top. I was like, oh God. So he was like, I'm not going to put any filler in the top because we don't know

how that's going to migrate because I didn't get them done that long ago, but we can top up the bottom lip. I was like, gorgeous, gorgeous, stunning, stunning, stunning. And then I was like, what else do you think? And he like really inspects your face like he's a fucking legend at what he does but you feel the most vulnerable appearance wise you've ever felt like he gets right up in your face but he is just so good at his job like there's a reason he's a legend in the industry do you know what I mean but anyway he's looking at my face and he's like right so i can see that you're more lopsided on this side you're this side of your face is more lifted than the other i was like yeah it is i never actually noticed that and then he could like tell that i slept on one side of my face he felt my temples

and was like you get headaches i was like oh my god are you a medium are you a medium what is going on here anyway i went in for a bit of lip filler i ended up coming out with the full works honey but i was really excited because i really wanted botox so i don't have like major forehead lines but i get really bad i don't even know what it's called it's like a pocket of fat right above my eyebrows because i when i sleep i really frown like i'm really having a bad dream like that's literally my face when I sleep and I wake up with headaches from it where I'm like so tense all night and I'm so tense my jaw in my sleep so whenever I wake up I'm always just like ow like I've been in a fight right so he gave me Botox in my forehead like where I'll get lines eventually and um where I frown

but he was like when you know you're young and youthful so we're not going to freeze the face like we just want to help that we don't want to like give you no movement so I've still got movement which is stunning I'm still you know you guys know I'm very expressive with my face so that would have been a major problem if I'd lost any movement in my face especially because I'm an actress you know what I mean imagine I'm doing an angry scene and I'm just frozen they're like anger Leah and I'm like I'm trying I'm really giving it my best but anyway yeah so I've still got movement but I just feel tighter in the forehead you know what I mean it feels quite gorgeous it hasn't fully fully set in yet but it started to it's a weird sensation like I'm really trying to raise my eyebrows to the

point where I'm getting wrinkles but I can raise my eyebrows but there's no lines it's crazy I just feel like a young gorgeous stunning gal but anyway and then he gave me tear trough filler which is something I've always always always always always wanted because I use an eye cream I use Inkey List caffeine eye cream I'm obsessed with it and it's so good for puffiness because I wake up so puffy in the morning right but as I wake up throughout the day my eyes they're just so deep like my actual under eyes are so deep this isn't an ad by the way it sounds like this is like paid this is not an ad I'm just I couldn't wait to tell you guys about it I literally remember coming out of the um clinic and I said to my boyfriend I was like I can't wait to tell the guys about this in the pod but anyway yeah it's not an ad so um yeah

I get really deep under eyes like they're just so just so deep. No matter what I do, I drink a ton of water. I use under eye patches. I use a really good eye cream. Like, you know, I do it all. I eat well. Do you know what I mean? But for some reason, I've never been able to look less tired. So he was like, you know, it's just genetics.

Like, that's just the way your face is, darling. And he was just like, we can fill it in underneath. They, like, make a hole in your cheek and they use like a cannula needle I think to go up under your eye you don't feel a thing like it's actually fine I was when I watched the videos on TikTok of tear truffler I'm like no no no it could never be me could never be me but um it was me on Saturday and I'm looking more awake than ever um he also gave me Botox on my temples and my jaw to help me with my like clench, clenching and headaches and basically tension headaches and stuff, which is amazing. I haven't had a headache since Saturday.

And to be honest, it's only Tuesday. Well, Monday, but Tuesday when you listen to this and you know, but I do normally get headaches daily at least a little one daily you know so so far so good um and then he also put a tiny bit of filler on my cheek and jaw on one side of my face because my face was like actually quite uneven um so yeah it sounds like I've had loads of fucking work done like it sounds like I've had like chin jaw like I'm gonna look like the worked on like it sounds like I've had like chin jaw like I'm gonna look like the 2018 whatever it was Molly May when she had all her filler and then had it taken out because she hate it sounds like I'm gonna be looking like that I really literally look the same because my mum is so anti filler and shit like that so I was a bit scared to go home and tell her but when I got home I literally looked

at her and I was like guess what I've had like look at my face and try and guess what I've had and she's like you look the same and I was like exactly like you wouldn't even notice it but it's just those minor tweaks that just even somebody out do you know what I mean um and I'm not gonna lie I know a lot of people are gonna listen to this thinking Leah please don't be oh my god what just happened please don't be promoting that kind of thing do you know what I mean and I can only apologize if this offends you but you know I did it for me Dr. Rush is someone that I literally put my face on the line for and I was like I trust you like I have seen he did Ekansu he does Madison Sarah he does Hannah Renee like he does people that I know um and if you know

he trusts if they trust him I trust him at this point um so yeah and I just feel better like I just feel really good and the thing I'm most excited about is the Botox like it's something I've wanted for like two years now um and there's no one I trusted more of it than Dr. Roche to be honest I'm really excited about that so yeah I can't wait to show you guys um I haven't actually filmed anything since because I'm still a bit swollen like it's only Monday now and I got my whenever I get filler my face takes so long well this is the first time I've ever had filler anywhere apart from my lips but every time I get my lips done my my lips always swell up like crazy like literally for like a week sometimes two weeks so yeah I'm waiting for it to go down but I'm really happy

and I'm really excited and like I can't even move my fucking forehead, no, I can, I can, but anyway, I was so excited to tell you guys about it, because like, how exciting is that, do you know what I mean, it's probably not exciting to anybody else, but it is to me, and I took the boyfriend with me, because he was always like, really scared that, because I'd say like, I really want to get Botox, and he's like, oh my god, like, please relax, like, stop trying to be perfect, and I'm like, I'm not trying to be perfect, that's never something I'm going to achieve, do you know what I mean? I just want to feel better about these minor things. And it did make me feel better. And I feel gosh, but now I'm like, shit, what have I got myself into? I'm gonna have to get this topped up now. So, oh, well,

fuck it. We'll cross that bridge when it dissolves. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, enough about me. I hope you guys all had the best weekend. I really, really missed you. But guess what? Tomorrow, Wednesday, the 18th of January, Leah on the line is officially one year old. Happy birthday to me. I can't believe it. She's one, you know, our little, our little baby is one. It's so sweet. They grow up so fast. I just wanted to take this moment to say, I love you. Like if you've listened to this, if this is the first episode you've listened to, or if you listened a year ago, this, this time last year, well, actually it would have been this time tomorrow.

This, oh, you guys don't know what I mean. Anyway, if, actually, it would have been this time tomorrow, this, oh, you guys don't know what I mean, anyway, if this is your first episode, or if this is the year, oh my god, what am I trying to say, if you've been here a year, basically, I love you equally, like, you guys are everything, I cannot, cannot, cannot explain to you how much I love and appreciate every single one of you and i'm not even joking like i have this fear that you guys will think i don't appreciate you or like i take you for granted like i have a major fear that you guys feel underappreciated and that is the opposite like i appreciate you more than you ever know like even if you listen to us for 10 seconds and go

what boring bitch and turn it off. Thank you for the 10 seconds. Honestly, I really appreciate your time. Do you know what I mean? I really appreciate the time you took out of your day to listen to me. Like, I just can't, like all of your beautiful messages that you send me, all of your responses to weekly debates,

all of your dilemmas that you trust me with, the confessions that you trust me with, all of your opinions on things, the people that just send me random messages being like, I've got a really really good idea or like I just wanted to let you know that I was having a bad time and in March and you really got me through do you know what I mean like any single message I receive thank you if I haven't replied to you I probably read it like obviously I can't reply to everyone but I reply to most messages to be honest I'd like to say um but yeah like I never want you guys to feel like you're taken for granted because you're literally the best

friends in the whole world you're the best ones I could ever ever ask for I feel the luckiest girl in the world I have major imposter syndrome so the fact that this has been a success and not a major flop I'm like something is going to go wrong Someone's going to take this away from me. I'm too scared to enjoy it and relax into it because it's a massive fluke. Like people don't realize I'm actually a major loser. Like people are listening to me by mistake. Do you know what I mean? Like it's just imposter syndrome through the roof, honey. Do you know what I mean? But honestly, I just wanted to let you know how much I love and appreciate every single one of you like this show would be nothing without you and you know I would love to get you guys involved in podcasts and stuff and once I do sort of studio

out which I promise I will it's my main it's my main goal of the year is to sort of studio out to get some more guests on because you know it's we love the guests I would love to get some of you to London because it's probably going to be in guests I would love to get some of you to London because it's probably going to be in London I'd love to get some of you to London to come and chat with me for a podcast and we can do dilemmas together so that's definitely on the um list as well um yeah and obviously I'm going to call you guys I think I'm going to hopefully do that on Friday where we can answer dilemmas together that's going to be so much fun and so incredible so oh why am I so out of breath breath god let's all take a deep breath together

isn't it nice to take a deep breath sometimes so do you know what me and my sister have been doing recently it's really good i highly recommend okay sorry to headphone users just warning in turn down your volume when we get really stressed and anxious or things feel really overwhelming and we feel like we're drowning right what we like to do is stand in an empty room or a car and just go like this honestly i highly recommend it feels so good. It feels so good. Like it genuinely does. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, just let it, let it rip, you know, let it all out. So yeah, that's me saying I love you. I appreciate you. I'm always going to be here for you like if you ever

need a friend I'm always here and thank you again and thank you thank you thank you I love you more than anything happy birthday Leah on the line and yeah let's get into our yearly special it's not really a yearly special it's just going to be a normal tuesday but happy b-day leah on the line and yeah let's get into the episode thank you so much for listening to leah on the line remember to leave a rate in on apple podcast and spotify and hit the notification bell you can send in your confessions and dilemmas to leah on the line at gmail.com and follow me on socials at leah on the line and at leah in a vein to see visual clips of the podcast. I love you. Enjoy the episode. Okay, everyone, get comfy, get comfy. We have a really interesting weekly debate. Don't I say that every week? How on earth? So this was one of your guys' ideas. So thank you so much to the gorgeous girl that suggested this. The weekly debate this week is how would you feel about

dating someone who has never been in a relationship before? So before we get into your responses, I'm just going to kick off with my feelings in that one. So my, he wasn't my first boyfriend because I was with someone when I was like 15 for like six months. So I don't really count, I don't mean no offense to the guy, but I don't really count it as my first relationship. But then I kind of do, because he's my first boyfriend, but it wasn't like a relationship. I mean, it was a boyfriend. But anyway, my first serious relationship, the four year long relationship at uni, he never had a girlfriend before me. And it was perfect. And I'll tell you why, because he never had any exes imagine stunning absolutely no history

no one to compare myself to no one with any background drama nothing to feel threatened by like it was the most non-toxic healthy relationship like it was a great relationship and he had never had a girlfriend before but you know he was a great boyfriend so from my experience it's not an issue at all however I was 18 he was 21 I was 18 so I feel like that was pretty normal like it was like oh you never had a girlfriend do you know what I mean I'm 18 I've only been with someone six months but if I was at this age you know you tend to date people a couple of years older than you typically don't we so if I met somebody who was like 26 27 28 whatever and and they were like I've never had a girlfriend I'd probably be a bit more alarmed so it's a difficult one because I think it depends how old you are like if you're like you know 21 and you've never

had a girlfriend sweet do you know what I mean but if you're 27 28 or older or even 25 and older I think that's when I'd be a bit like oh but why not do you know what I mean like it's it's actually so normal to have not had a girlfriend or relationship but by 25 because if anything it can be an attractive thing like you've spent all your life focusing on you and growing and experiencing life how you wanted to experience it you know you're not gonna have all these oh i've never had that single life like i don't have to worry about that if that's the case you know i don't have to worry about like oh but what if you just want to go and be single you've done it 25 years i'm sure you've had enough of that you know let's settle down so there's the

positive side of that however i won't lie i think like if I'd met my current boyfriend and he was like I've never had a relationship before I'd be like oh are there commitment issues here do you know what I mean so I think alarm bells would ring at the beginning but I think it would be so easy to look past like I actually think it's not a major thing at all like there's so many pros to it like they've spent their life focusing on them which is so attractive they've spent their life um you know experiencing the things that you want to experience when you're young and single and also there's no exes so there's all the pros that I think make it worth it do you know what I mean the only cons would be like do you understand how to like prioritize other people's feelings? Do you know how to like, you know, be a team with somebody? Like, do you have commitment issues? You know, there's the question marks and the cons to it, but

there's loads of pros. So I think it's my personal opinion is it's not a major deal, but let's have a look at what you guys say, any experience that you guys have had. but let's have a look what you guys say any experience that you guys have had um yes please that means no crazy ex lurking 100 i did it it was hard work but he was so loving and always tried to make me happy stunning okay fine my bestie has never had a relationship just because of bad luck they're learning more being single so true like you learn so much going through these experiences where you're like dating someone doesn't work out dating someone doesn't work out being single for a while going back into dating doesn't work out like so many learning experiences come from that you know what i mean somebody says

that is a dream in my first relationship it's so hard for me at times but communication slash reassurance helps yeah i've done it and it's the best relationship i've had three years down the line and more to go god that's stunning i've been with my boyfriend two years and he had never had a girlfriend can say he's the best boyfriend ever amazing that was my boyfriend it's like training a puppy and how the relationship around them impact impact on a positive don't have an ex to be jealous about stunning need to know never I'm so confused by that one sorry guys um no thanks need someone with experience do do not want to be training someone yeah that is the thing because you could be in a situation where they don't know how to communicate their feelings they don't know how to you know like I

said be a team with somebody they don't know how to um what's the word like prioritize somebody else in certain moments you know what I mean like they are so used to only having to worry about themselves that it's like are we gonna have a situation where you don't even know how to worry about someone else how to you know support and and be there with and for someone else you know um it's fine if you're like 15 but not when you're almost 30 oh my god i would love it first love no exes amazing yeah you are their first love but then also are they going to be happy to just like fall in love with you you're their first partner and then that's it. No more relationships.

Because obviously that happens. Like there are so many relationships. It's like we were each other's first love. We've been together 20 years, you know. But I would still have those like scared feelings of like, do you want to experience other relationships? Like am I your first love that you're going to get bored of and be like, okay, I'm over this. Do you know what I mean? I was my previous and

current boyfriend's first girlfriend and it's never been an issue plus no ex. Yeah, a lot of us are on to the no ex positive side of things. I was my ex's first proper girlfriend and it was quite difficult sometimes as he didn't know what was the norm and what were expectations. So what expectations there were of a boyfriend i wouldn't rule it out but it's definitely harder that said no x to compare yourself to um why was that a breath today it's kind of scaring me helping anxiety through the roof hon um initially not a problem when meeting but long term it does worry me yeah i know what you mean it's like the long-term fear of commitment.

Like, are you going to at some point be like, oh, I've committed. Do you know what I mean? I don't do that. Okay. Depends on age. Yep, agreed. I'm in this situation and it's tough. He doesn't think about key things.

No. Yeah, I can so see how that would happen. My healthiest relationship have been with people that have been in one, noes sorry that have never been in one no exes my boyfriend was my first and I wasn't his I think it made it harder at first because the jealousy on my part and being too dependent too fast but now a perfect and I wouldn't have it any other way I found a good one and didn't have to go through heartbreak first stunning that's so true I'm currently in my first relationship and I sent this to my boyfriend and he said it's no different. Love it. I mean, true. Like it is. What is the difference

realistically? Like you're either a good partner or you ain't. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, I love that one, guys. I feel like we're all in the same position where it's like, depends on the age, but you know, it's perfect because there's no crazy exes, no people that they're still in love with, no crossovers. Do you know what I mean? Gorge. Okay, guys, amazing debate. Loved it. I feel like we're all on the same page with that one, which is really nice. Okay, let's get into some dilemmas. Okay, everyone, I hope you're comfortable. Let's get into some dilemmas thank you guys so much if you sent these in let's have a look okay let's kick off with this one it says hey bestie hey babe i came out of a four-year relationship in march of last year i'm 19 now. Oh, you're with him from like 14, 15, depending on your birthday. Crazy.

Okay. Love it. And I'm now at uni. I broke up with him and I've been enjoying single life since. Amazing. But I feel like where I'm so used to having that male attention and validation, I always rely on it for my own happiness. Oh my God. Yeah. yeah okay i wanted to see if this is something other people get and how i can be content without a boy on the go i've been seeing someone at uni but he's not boyfriend material he stays at my uni a few nights a week but i went home for christmas and he doesn't seem interested now i've come back and i feel so shitty without the male attention i don't think i have feelings for him 10 out of 10 looks but personality is boring that one of them one of them just an attachment and I like the company how can I stop being so reliant on men to feel happy in myself

my mood is so low and I can't shake it love you haven't missed an ep I love you okay so I'm thinking we need to blast out flowers by Miley cyrus you know i can buy myself flowers because listen to this darling right i've been there i have been there where it's like my validation comes from men not now but i've been there right if i'm not getting male attention i'm ugly i'm worthless no one fucking likes me i'm a piece of shit that deserves to just rot away and disappear because no one's interested in me so what's the point do you know what I mean I've been there and I think we've all been in a position where we've had those feelings in one way or another and it's hard to shake but it has to come from you and what I learned was like listen

going on these dates and starting seeing people and being in these situationships and having sex, like it's not making me feel good. I think it is because when they're giving me these compliments and this attention and we're having sex and they're telling me that I'm incredible, like, you know, when they are giving me this attention, I feel validated and I feel good. However, long term, it's not making me feel good. It's not a positive way for me to live my life. So I just thought, you know what, this isn't actually good for me, it might feel good temporarily. But long term that this isn't good for me, my self worth and my validation and my confidence has to come from me and deep within me. Do you know what I mean? So regardless of what men think of me,

it doesn't change how I think of me, you know, that's where we need to get to. So that's a journey. Like, listen, it's not an overnight thing. It takes a lot of work, self-love, self-care, self-commitment to, you know, like growing and focusing on yourself. So, and growing and focusing on yourself so oh my god I'm getting really stressed because why can't you breathe maybe I've just got a bit of anxiety today right okay let's just take a deep breath oh okay god I'm starting to panic I'm getting a bit shaky right this is the thing. We've realized that you're not actually into this guy. Like you said, he's not boyfriend material. He's boring. He's boring as fuck. He's just fit as fuck. So if he fancies me, I feel good. Do you know what I mean?

We need to fancy ourselves. So regardless of whether anybody else has given us attention, it doesn't change how we feel about ourselves. Do you know what I mean? And start asking yourself, you know, rather than thinking, does this, is this guy into me? Are people interested in me? Do people fancy me? Do I like myself? Do I like them? Are they good enough for me? And this guy's not, like you said, he's not boyfriend material. His personality is boring. So he's not good enough. See you later, darling. Like, yeah, see you later. Have a great time, but you're not the one for me i'm sure you'll make somebody else very happy but i'm not that person and i don't actually want it like you don't actually want this guy so why do we want him to want you because we've got some issues

that we need to address inside yeah like the love needs to come from you so i think take like feel empowered by the fact that you don't actually want this guy. So it's like, I don't actually care. Like the fact that, you know, we've gone home or you've gone home for Christmas and he doesn't seem interested. And now you've come back and you feel shit without the attention. That's okay. Like the fact that you've gone home and he's not interested, that's okay like the fact that you've gone home and he's not interested that's okay i don't need you to be interested in me do you know what i mean i'm interested in me i like myself there are plenty more fish in the sea for me do you know what i mean like i just think maybe take a break from dating because at the at this current moment it's not doing you any good so i would fall in

love with yourself for a bit you know like all the love and attention that you're giving to other people give that to yourself whether that be self-care if that helps you know works for you whether it be like eating good drinking good or spending loads of time with your friends and like or spending loads of time by yourself like whatever it is that is going to make you feel good that's what we need to be doing because these, these men aren't doing it and we can't ask them to, we can't depend on them to do that for you. Do you know what I mean? But I totally get it. So, um, I don't really know how to suggest to stop being reliant on men, but I think the first step is accepting that they're not making, you know, living like this isn't actually doing you any good it's

not actually making you feel good in the long term so I think admitting that you know we need to learn a bit of self-love is the first step because it's not about you not being good enough for these guys it's about you not feeling good enough in yourself full stop like you Like you're absolutely good enough. Do you know what I mean? And it's just that you're not going to be the right person for all these people. So, and you're just not, and that's fine. You know, we're just not meant to be. And to be honest, I don't even really want to be with you. So why do I care? You know, I think we need to do whatever we can to fall in love with ourselves. And then you attract, I think you, when you feel good in yourself, you radiate that energy. Like, I don't know if you

guys agree with me, but like sometimes happy single people, they just glow different. Like you can spot a happy single person in a bar, in a club, in a restaurant, whatever, on social media, you can spot them a mile away. Like I can see that is one happy single gal. Like I can just tell, like you just glow different when you're happy and single so I think let's make that our goal you know let's make that our mission you know let's not we don't need guys falling in love with us we need to fall in love with us first so yeah that's my advice to you so good luck you're amazing we don't need anyone full stop blast out flowers I'm actually thinking of making a you know like female empowerment we don't need no man playlist but not just the single girls but the girls that

are in relationships where you feel dependent because I've been there you've been in relationships and you feel dependent if they're treating you like shit you feel like shit we need this playlist so that it's like regardless of my relationship status I'm good enough regardless of how I'm being treated I'm good enough regardless of you know whether I'm in love with someone or not I love myself you know what I mean if I'm yeah I might love somebody else I might love my boyfriend or girlfriend but I still love myself more than anything do you know what I mean I'm I'm thinking of making a playlist on Spotify with all those feel-good tunes like um Flowers has got to be the top one and then we've got the Lizzo um what's that song you guys all know it already don't you I mean all Lizzo's

songs are basically that vibe but it's that particular one if he don't want if he don't love you what is it want you or love you if he don't want you anymore walk your fine house out the door that one is. Is it Want You or Love You? One of them. Anyway, songs like that. I feel like I need to make that playlist, let you guys know what it's called, and we can all just get ready to it. Have a glass of wine or cup of tea, getting ready or just like waking up in the morning, making our coffee, blasting it, dancing. Yeah, like I did that all summer when I was single. I was so fucking happy. And I would wake up in the morning and I blast out those sort of tunes. And I would literally make my iced coffee singing these songs to top my lungs. I was like, I

love my life. I love myself. And it helped me so much. So highly recommend. Okay, next dilemma. end okay next dilemma okay this one is a little bit crazy it is called my boyfriend cheated on me with my ex okay let's get into this hey my love hang on i just wanted to drop this dilemma because it's too good not to i've been with my boyfriend for two years i'm now 23 i'm a bisexual woman and i've dated both men and women before him. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend five months before me and my boyfriend got together, so I'd fully moved on by then. Gorge. I was genuinely in love with my boyfriend and I thought he was my perfect match, my soulmate, until a week ago I found multiple text notifications on my boyfriend's phone whilst he was out the room from my ex

i was so confused i didn't know they knew each other oh my fucking god could you imagine i didn't know they knew each other i read their text and found out they had been secretly seeing each other since i first met him the whole time the whole time you've been with him two years two years oh my god i didn't know what to do he's a cheating scumbag but i've been with him for a full two years wait oh my god and this was a week ago oh my god okay i know i'm still young but i enjoy the stability of a relationship what should i do and how do i confront him any advice would be amazing i love you in the pod have an amazing day oh that's so sweet have an amazing day oh i hope you have an amazing day okay first of all

what the fuck what the actual fuck okay first of all i want to say you know you say you enjoy the stability of a relationship there is so much stability in being single as well believe me if not more because all you have to fucking worry about is yourself like relationships aren't always stable and this is exhibit a do you know what i mean all i want to say to you is this guy does not deserve you and i will tell you why i mean it's obvious but I'll tell you why the whole relationship's been a lie the whole relationship's been a lie because from day one he's been hiding this from you he's been hiding this from you he's been cheating on you this whole time so whatever you thought you knew was your relationship is not the reality it's not

it's not real it's not real. It's not true. It's been a lie because he's cheated and lied to you this whole time. Okay. Second of all, that is not someone you want to be with. On paper, if I said to you, I've got this really great guy, right? Let's say you're single. I've got this really great guy. He's gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous guy. But but you know he is going to be cheating on you the whole time with your ex-girlfriend are you going to go standing perfect just what i'm looking for no you're gonna go oh no thank you i'll be with somebody else and listen i know it sounds that simple and i know you're thinking leo it's not that simple it is that simple babe i know it's so hard to let go of a relationship i know it is but trust me when I say you would look back and be so pissed at yourself for settling for

someone that has cheated on you for two years it's not even like oh he went out and made a mistake and he's made up for it and you know he's apologized it's his biggest mistake is his biggest regret he broke his own heart doing it this has been a two-year life since day one like how who are you like who actually are you like you don't actually know this guy like you might think you do but clearly not so i think we need to take power in saying see you never see you never okay like listen i know i'm being brutal and i know i sound like i'm being really insensitive because obviously you are in love with this guy but it all comes down to you need to be more in love with yourself than you are in love with this guy you need to

love you more than you love him and listen what a scumbag like you literally said he's a cheating scumbag but i've been with him two full years so what like this is the thing i've been with you two years and you've done this to me we need to spin the perspective rather than like you know he is a cheater but i've been with him two years i really enjoy being in a stable relationship this is not a stable relationship you know these two years that you've been with him have not been what you thought they were because he's a lying cheater oh my god i'm so sorry the mic just peaked then i'm screaming my house down but it's true okay darling listen you do not need anybody like you can be on your own and it will be amazing like believe me in my last relationship i was like i can't be alone like what i'm gonna do

you know i can't be single i don't know I don't know who I am without this relationship. I don't know. I don't exist without this person. When you leave, you come to life. Like you will be like, it's like someone's pulled your head out of the water. You're not drowning all this anxiety, all these feelings anymore because he's cheated on you and lied to you. Yeah.

When you finally build up that strength to leave, you, for some reason, you love yourself more because you're so proud of yourself. You're like, I fucking walked away. I'm a fucking legend. Like, you will fall in love with yourself for being brave enough and strong enough to walk away from someone who was not serving you. Like, believe me now, listen, I'll never tell you what to do, but I will tell you that this relationship has not been good enough for you and there are amazing people out there they're amazing women amazing men out there that will treat you exactly how you want to be treated by this guy so rather than going well please don't cheat on me please just treat me nice please just love me just go and find someone that will do that

for you but in the meantime you do that for you you know you treat yourself right you love yourself right and until somebody is willing to come along and do that you do it for you you do not need somebody else to do that for you okay please keep me updated okay I love you so much please let me know where you're at now how you're feeling what decision decision you decide to. We will all be here for you every step of the way. You know, you're not alone in this. You've got all of us, me and all the listeners. We're here for you every step of the way. So I love you so much. You've got this, darling. Okay. What a prick. Okay. Next dilemma. All right. This one says, Hey Leah, bit of a different one for you. All i love it i feel deflated

and because i don't really have many close friends the first person i thought i'd come to is you oh i love you i'm here for you okay let's do this i broke up with my ex-boyfriend around four years ago he cheated and i was eventually strong enough to call it quits and leave yes go girl a few days after we broke up we'd been together six years he publicly announced he had a new girlfriend a few days two days i sound like anna from love island two days yeah literally two days though what the fuck no what a few days anyway gross anyway moving on fast forward to now he is now married has a house and in the past few months had a baby i have a partner who i absolutely adore i think the world of and who genuinely treats me amazingly but i can't help but feel a little deflated and sad i'm not sure if it's

because i don't have any of that i live at home and maybe i don't feel like i have anything compared to what he has now i'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but I feel a bit lost. I'm just perhaps looking for some advice really. I feel like he has moved on with his life and still stuck in the same, and I'm still stuck in the same position I was five years ago. For context, I'm very happy with my new partner, but I just feel overwhelmed with emotion. Thanks, gal. Okay, first thing I want to say is remember, not everything you see online is the real truth, okay? So you might see someone who is married, has a house, and had a baby. That doesn't mean that he is happy. That doesn't mean that he has everything he's ever wanted. That doesn't mean he doesn't still think about you.

That doesn't mean that he's treating his girlfriend right or wife, sorry, not to rub it in. But you know what I mean? So let's not compare ourselves to anybody else's situation because the reality is we do not know the situation. Okay. That's the first step. Secondly, even if he was what it looks like the most happy he's ever been, you know, he's got this wife that he adores, a baby he adores, a house, a gorgeous house. Sorry, I'm sure that's making you feel really good. But even if that is the case, that does not matter to you. Like it does not matter because whether he had that or he didn't, that doesn't change where you are in your life that doesn't change what you have going for you that is someone else like that is none of my business that is your life fuck off do you know what I mean like you cheated and you know I hope you're very fucking happy enjoy the money yeah I hope it makes

you very happy you know what I mean but you know what we need to think about is what you have like you said you have this relationship that you love okay you love him he treats you amazingly this is perfect right and always remember the universe is always working in your favor okay you are exactly where you need to be right now this is exactly where you're supposed to be you're still living at home so am i i'm 25 i live at home i'm okay with that because i trust that anything i'm meant to do anywhere i'm meant to be is never going to go wrong you know like if i'm supposed to be at home right now I'm supposed to be at home right now and that's where I am you know if I was supposed to be bloody rich bought my own house at 25 that's where I would have been like I would have been there and that's not where I am

and I'm okay with that because am I happy yeah you know like this is what we need to ask ourselves are you a nice person yeah do you have a relationship that you feel content in and you feel like respected? He treats you right? Yeah. Do you feel like you know where you want to go? If you don't, that doesn't matter. Neither do I. Okay. But what I find peace in is that wherever I end up is where I'm supposed to end up. And I just find peace in leaving it in the hands of the universe like it is not in my hands we can't sit here going I don't have anything that my ex has because we're not the same person we don't live the same life you know like I could do the exact same thing but I don't care like I don't care what anybody else has as long as I'm happy in my life as long

as I wake up and I feel good as long as I wake up and I feel good as long as I wake up and I look in the mirror and I like who I am I like my heart I like how I treat people you know if I can say that about myself I'm richer than a lot of people you know like if I can say I'm a good person if I can say I have family and and a boyfriend that loves me and friends that are there for me I'm rich that's how I feel you know like it's not about money it's not about having a house it's not about being married if I can look around me and say I have all these incredible assets in my life that are worth way more than a house I win like it's you know not this competition but I don't feel like I'm at a

loss because of those things so we have to change how you think about things like you have to think do you know what yeah my ex might have a baby and yeah he might have a house and yeah he might be married but I'm so grateful for everything I have and where I'm at and where I'm headed in my life that what anybody else has is so irrelevant to me you know like we can't wish negative things on other people because that's not going to make you feel any better either like say he he was still single and he'd had his heart broken and he was living in his childhood bedroom in his mom or dad's house like that doesn't make you any happier that doesn't make you any happier. That doesn't make you any richer. That doesn't make you further

along in your life. So regardless of whether someone's doing what you see as better than you or worse than you, it doesn't affect where you are. So I think we need to practice some gratitude and just be like, you know what? I love my life. I love who I am. I love my family. I love my life I love who I am I love my family I love my boyfriend I am grateful I'm lucky you know and you know you said you feel lost it's so okay to feel lost like hands up if you feel a bit lost right now I guarantee most people have their hands up in the air I certainly do and that's okay like I'm in my 20s I'm not sure how old you are I'm mid-20s there are people younger than me that I went to school with that are married and have children and have bought houses I'm not there and I'm not near there and that's okay like I'm exactly where I need to be and if I'm lost if I get this feelings of like

what the fuck am I doing where am I like where am I gonna be in in five years when I'm 30 where the fuck how am I gonna be in a house in five years time I'm 30? Where the fuck, how am I going to be in a house in five years time? I can't see how I'm going to make that work. But if that's where I'm supposed to be, that's where I'll be. Do you know what I mean? So what can I do by sitting here stressing about it? What can I do? Nothing. There is nothing I can do. So we have to flip the script a little bit and try and be grateful for everything we have. Remember that what anybody else has doesn't take away from what you have. And if somebody has less than you, it doesn't make what you have any better. If somebody has more than you, it doesn't

make what you have any less. So just try and be, you know, try and think differently about it if you can. I love you so much. Let's do one more dilemma. Okay. This one says help in capital letters. Okay. So I've been with my fiance for seven years now. We live together and do life together. Literally joint at the hip in the healthiest way possible. Besties, you know. Amazing. I love it. Anyway, recently we purchased our first car together we both passed our tests within a week of each other oh how fun and bought a car to share all payments are 50 50 amazing however he uses the car for work every weekday oh he's got the car monday to friday okay maybe we shouldn't be paying 50 50 then okay um i have to ask to use my car if I want it, but me using it works around his schedule,

depending what time he is home from work, et cetera. So we're both working other times for a few hours on Saturday. My Saturday came up first and I said yes to it, telling him in December, I'll be using the car on this particular Saturday in January. Plenty of warning. No. Saturday in January. Plenty of warning, no? He has now said he is also working, blah, blah, blah, now to the argument. He says he is taking the car. Well, you're not, darling, you're not. Okay. I told him this isn't fair as I already said I need it. Now, granted, my drive to work is 15 minutes and his takes around 45 minutes, I can walk but it's principal. I should be allowed to use my car once and once in a week considering it costs me a disgusting amount each month and I only use it a handful of times. He says I'm being unreasonable and selfish. I think we

know who's the selfish one around here. Anyway tonight got very out of hand and he actually gave me an ultimatum of ending the relationship because this argument is becoming a problem. He says he'll buy a work separately. Oh, maybe, okay. He says he'll buy a work car separately, but says I'm not allowed to use our car for work if he is also not allowed to. Am I being unreasonable? Am I being an unreasonable brat? P.S. Always obsessive you girl i love you i love you okay so he's like fine i'll buy my own car for work but you ain't using our car for work okay what i'm gonna suggest is we back out of this fucking car split because it's not working you're he you're paying for his car essentially like he's using you to have a nice car i reckon

i don't know what car it is but you said you pay a disgusting amount so I'm gonna assume it's a nice fucking car and he can only afford it if you pay 50 50 and he just wants to use it all the time and you might get to borrow it to swing around to Tesco on the weekend like no I'm sorry that's not fair and he's being selfish so to call you selfish is a bit rich to be honest i would say to him look this 50 50 car split it's not working so we either sell the car and we both buy our own cars that we can afford or you can pay for that car all on your own and i'll get my own you drive that car monday to sunday hun you have the car you pay for it I'll get my

own yeah you get like a just a smaller one one you can afford and that's your car you drive it whenever you want and the finances of this car that he's unwilling to share with you is on you babe like that's personally what I think is the only option because he's not sharing it he's not willing to negotiate and meet in the middle here like he's literally like it's my car I'm using it you know if you want to use it it's up to me no I don't pay 50 50 to not have a say like you know I told you two months no a month in advance I need this car on this particular Saturday I'm not asking for much I pay 50 50 yeah but you're not using it 50 50 you're using it 90 10 like it's not it's not a 50 50 split of the usage so why the fuck should you pay for 50 50

usage so I would actually personally I say look I'm not paying for the car anymore I'm getting my own I would literally go to a car shop or find one online find a car buy a car drive it home and be like got a new car you're paying for that one on your own i need a car i'm not walking to work every day just because you're selfish like this sharing a car is clearly not working so i've bought my own that one is your problem now like that's literally what i would do that might be really unfair on me but he's been unfair he's been unreasonable he's been selfish he's only really cared about how this whole car thing's impacted him he's not really concerned about how it's impacting you so i would literally be like fine if you if you want this car have the car you have the car that's what i would do personally what would you guys do but yeah okay

good luck with that one let me know what you do that's personally what i would do let me know what you decide to keep us all updated ah that's a new one and we've never had that before I do get a lot of dilemmas about like splitting rent like you know like oh my boyfriend earns a lot more than me but he wants to split the rent 50 50 do you think it's fair it's a difficult one I never really know how to tackle that one so if you guys want to debate that that could be kind of fun okay anyway let's get into the Confession Diaries. Okay, everyone, welcome to the Confession Diaries. Remember, this is not the kind of thing you want to be listening to out and about in public,

just a little heads up. But let's dive straight in. This first one says, it's kind of fucking crazy. At 12, I found out my mum was texting men behind my dad's back. I never told a soul. I'm 19 still. Oh, sorry. I'm 19 now. Still together. Wow. Oh my God. I just got a recall for an audition, guys. wow oh my god i just got a recall for an audition guys stunning god that was ages ago you guys remember when i did the heathers audition anyway sorry oh god god i've just jinxed it because i've told everyone i got recalls that means i'm not gonna get it anyway this person found out their mum was texting men behind their dad's back at 12 they're now 19 and their parents are still together and

and they never told us all i mean did you ever tell your mom i mean if you didn't tell us all you probably didn't mention it to your mom that is fucking crazy i'd love to know how many parents secrets there are out there do you know what i mean okay okay also you guys remember the girl that masturbates when driving right this one says after the confession last week i too have got off got myself off while driving i told my boyfriend three years later is this a thing like i'm not a driver so i don't know do people masturbate and drive like that like a frequent thing i'm gonna look out on the motorway looking at everyone's cars like hey what you doing in there crazy my husband knew i masturbated because i left the batteries out of the tv remote you can imagine what they were used for instead i think we need to get some

batteries specifically for the sex toys so we can do this in private okay i love it i love it he's like why is the remote not working you're're like, fuck, fuck, fuck. They're in my fucking vibrator. Okay, next one. My ex made me sleep on the floor a few times as a punishment. What the fuck? Does he think you're a dog? I'm glad you said ex, to be honest. Imagine your boyfriend would go up and say to you, get on the floor, get a girlfriend saying to you get on the floor get get out my fucking bed sleep on the floor you little dog never me never me i literally kick him on the floor like sweet dreams darling anyway last one i literally don't feel attracted to my boyfriend and always think about having sex with other people and the relationship you have to end

the relationship oh my god oh my god you literally have to do that it's some crazy shit holy fuck guys okay ah great confessions this week let's wrap up the episode wrap up the episode okay everyone thank you so much for listening to this episode I can't believe we have been doing this for a year now it's been the best year ever like actually probably one of my best years the best 12 months of my life like it's been so transformational for me in my personal life in my career you know it's been like transformational for me, in my personal life, in my career, you know, it's been, like, an amazing 12 months, thank you so much to everyone that's been going along with me for the last 12 months, going through everything that I've been through, whether it be losing my job, getting a new job, moving out of London, the breakups, you know,

moving home, and finding my feet at home home and going through the summer together the whole love island thing you know it's been a journey of self-growth and lessons and falling in love with life and falling in love with myself and surrounding myself with amazing people you guys being the major key to that one and I love you guys i hope you've all had the best last 12 months thank you so much for joining me please stick around you know this isn't the end it's not just a year and then we leave like i want to do this for years and years and years i want to be 90 years old giving this advice do you know what i mean but anyway i love you guys i hope you all have the best week remember to to send in your dilemmas and confessions

to leahontheline at gmail.com or you can hit the link in my bio on Instagram at leahontheline. Follow me on all socials actually while we're talking about it, at leahlevane, L-O-U-V-A-I-N-E, on all socials, TikTok especially, because that's where I'm most active to be honest.

But yeah, pop me a message, anything you want to say, if you just want to have a little chat, I'm always here for and yeah thank you guys I love you thank you happy one year birthday to Leo and the nine tomorrow obviously it's the birthday eve today as this comes out but have the best day have the best week you know I love you you're amazing and I will see you on Friday for a brand new episode I love you you're amazing and I will see you on Friday for a brand new episode I love you