Leah on the Line - 55: My boyfriend cheated on me AGAIN & when to cut out toxic friends

Episode Date: February 14, 2023

Hey babes! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! In today's weekly debate, we discussed how much effort you put in and expect your partner to put in on Valentine's Day. I love hearing your responses! The dilemmas this week ranged from finding out your boyfriend had cheated on you for a SECOND TIME, to figuring out why you've been ghosted, to crushing on other people in relationships. I can't tell you how much each and every one of you mean to me, thank you for always being the most amazing listeners/friends. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leo and the line happy to use day happy valentine's day everyone happy galentine's to all my girlies all my besties how is your valentine's today have you woken up to cards have you woken up to breakfast in bed have you woken up single that's okay fuck them do you know what i mean fuck them all happy valentine's day to you from me god i'm speaking in the future I wonder what I'm gonna wake up to tomorrow oh nobody my boyfriend will be at work when I wake up but that's okay he will return home and then we'll do valentine's day what do you guys do on valentine's day you do are you daters you're going on a date oh is this a thing right if you're like single do you like ask someone to be your

valentine like if you're like seeing them and you like go on a date because that would suggest to me that you're like exclusively dating if they become your valentine interesting the weekly debate is surrounding valentine so we will get into that but i just wanted to say happy valentine's this is coming out valentine's day if you're listening after tuesday then, hello to the future from the past. Hope you had a great Valentine's Day. Anyway, what's new with me? Honestly, not a lot. I'm ill again. I feel like I'm always fucking ill at the moment. I feel like there's something going on in my chest right now that's just not loving life, but that's okay. How are you guys? I hope you're all feeling really, really good. Oh, oh my voice there a little sexy oh my

god i'm like phoebe and monica and friends you know and they're sick smelly cat smelly cat what are they feeling you who watched the brits who watched rihanna's superbowl performance i did i did she's brave up there on that platform. Bit scary, mind. Also, how many dancers? Also, them dancers are taking up my TikTok for you page. We just dance for Rihanna. We just dance for Rihanna. Honestly, I'm buzzing for you, but I keep seeing it. I'm like, yeah, yeah. All right, we get it.

I'm just jealous. I'm just jealous. It's a bonus. Anyway, you guys remember I had this really exciting thing that we were doing, and I was hoping that it was going to be good news. It's not. really exciting thing that we were doing and I was hoping that it was going to be good news it's not basically me and my boyfriend had an audition for a couple for a tv commercial in the Maldives and we got down to the final four and we didn't get it cry crying real tears so upset I need

a holiday and I'm not being funny the Maldives you know what I mean oh well it's what it is the universe said no universe said something better's coming universe said trust me and I said okay I did manifest it quite hard though so I'm not quite sure but then the universe always knows what's best doesn't it so we just gotta leave leave it up to you leave it up to her anyway onto bigger and better things I suppose but yeah on a positive note um I don't really have a positive note I do things are fine fine that is the word I'll be honest I'm just not having the best time but I'm fine like I'm Ross in friends fine I don't know my voice is going all squeaky because honestly I'm fine that's me right now I like it's all right thing I'm just overwhelmed and stressed like I

just I'm in that headspace you know when you just avoid everything like I'm trying to make plans to see my friend I really want to see her right but, but she'll be WhatsAppping me, like, literally, her message will just sit in my WhatsApp, and I just can't open it, because I can't even bring myself to think about anything, I just want to go to sleep, I'm like, everything's just overwhelming me at the moment, but, like I said, it's this time of year for me, it always happens, so I'm not alarmed, I'm not alarmed i'm not concerned and i'm not i'm not overthinking it it's february it's fucking shit february's just shit isn't it oh did i just whistle then my teeth shit anyway summer's around the corner it's get the nights are getting brighter the days are longer the flowers are blooming the sky is bluing and it's making me happy so I have some

news I got my ancestry DNA results back I'm Scottish yeah this is me thinking I'm Spanish listen I've told everyone all my life I'm Spanish I've just told everyone I've literally people like what are you I'm like oh I'm British but I'm a little bit Spanish somewhere like because my dad told me that someone someone someone ran off with a Spanish sea captain and had babies and that's and now I'm a little bit Spanish honestly it was a myth because I'm 48% Scottish I don't I That's like one of the main accents I cannot do. I'm not even a little bit of fucking Australian. Can you believe it?

I'm not even a little bit Australian. It just don't make sense. I think it's an error. 48% Scottish. You're having me on? All these things I could have been. Honestly, love the Scots. Nothing against them.

Nothing against you guys. But I wanted to be something away from the island, at least. Like the furthest out I went was like Norway in my DNA. The rest was English, Welsh and Irish. Yeah. I knew I was Welsh. My mum knew we were Welsh. Didn't know I was Irish. I'm okay with that. And do you know what? I'm okay being Scottish as well, but give me a bit of something. Like, fucking hell. So boring. Like, could my ancestors not have just lived a little? Please, please. Well, luckily for my children, if hopefully my now boyfriend is my future baby daddy fingers crossed then lucky them because they'll have a little bit of Italian in them so they won't be as boring as me you're welcome see this is what it looks like to just branch out a bit do you know what I mean now I'm

Scottish so really ruined my day I just wish I never did the fucking DNA results and then I would still be Spanish but here I am but never mind that's what I say let's get into the episode thank you so much for listening to Leah on the line remember to leave a rating on apple podcast and spotify and hit the notification bell you can send in your confessions and dilemmas to leahontheline at gmail.com and follow me on socials at leahontheline and at leah lavaine to see visual clips of the podcast i love you enjoy the episode okay guys so the weekly debate this week is obviously valentine's inspired and it is how much effort do you make and expect from your partner on valentine's day so i feel like we all have very different opinions on how valentine's day. A lot of people are like, you should show love and appreciation every day. Get over it, honestly. Like, it's Valentine's Day. Just have a bit of love in your heart. Come on. Do you know what I mean? And then some people are like, oh my god,

breakfast in bed, petals on the bed, flowers, date night, crazy sex, like a dress up for my boyfriend. Like, some people go in. so let's have a look what you guys do um if it was out of 10 i would say an eight okay stunning okay so we're wanting a lot of effort okay card and a box of choccies and i'm happy yeah yeah i wouldn't be just happy with that i'd i'd be a bit like well that's that's very easy in the bare minimum I want to spend some time together like we don't need to go on a big fancy dinner but let's do something together even if it's like a movie night in do you know what I mean maybe just a card and some flowers not into valentine's but a little something is nice okay so a lot of you

guys are okay with just the little nod of appreciation and love um flowers card and maybe a homemade dinner yes stunning stunning stunning stunning um oh expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed oh yeah but i'd still be disappointed even if i expected nothing and then i got nothing i'm like you're joking me i appreciate time and effort and put into something and be sentimental rather than money yeah i'm with you 100 million percent we'll have dinner together and buy each other a card but defo no presents or anything ott we go out for a nice meal write cards and a couple of little gifts stunning the only thing i expect is flowers and a card which in my opinion is very easily done agreed agreed like i do not accept the excuse of oh i forgot i forgot everywhere you fucking look

in every shop even when you go to fill your car up with petrol there's fucking valentine's posters everywhere okay you didn't you didn't miss the valentine's memo okay you just made a choice um oh this person says absolutely none it's fake as fuck okay i don't think it's fake i think it's fake i just think it's love day baby and it's like let me just spend time with the person that i love a little bit a little bit extra love today you know what I mean um maybe a nice meal but I'm not overly bothered by it definitely a card and flowers though yeah um this is my first valentine's of my boyfriend so I'm expecting a lot and I'm making a cute effort too oh gorgeous um a card and chocolate slash flowers is enough. Usually just a meal, treat ourselves,

gifts don't mean as much to me as quality time. Yeah, me too, me too. Um, I want him to make me feel a little extra special than he does every day. Yeah, I'm with you. I feel exactly the same. Um, a singular rose, a heartfelt card, maybe a small gift and a drink slash meal slash cinema date. Love that. Love that. Me and my fiance bought each other a card. That's more than enough. He is actually away for work. Okay. Fair enough. We're engaged, honey. Do you know what I mean? I know you love me. Boys are hard to buy for on Valentine's day, but I always buy card chocolate slash sweets and something personalized. Okay. Right of tiktoks i've seen where guys will be like girls this is your sign do not make your boyfriend the stupid jars of 100 things i love about you and the envelopes that say open when and make them a personalized thing like fuck off and he was like i've seen loads of them but they're like they don't care they don't appreciate

it they don't want it it's like ouch ouch okay your boys might not appreciate it here's me with a jar in the drawer 100 things i love about my boyfriend i've not done that i've not done that sorry babes if that's what you wanted i like flowers and a card but i don't really care too much spoil me all the time yeah baby um we don't make a fuss but i do expect a small gesture like a card we don't do much maybe a card and some chocolates that's all i expect to spend time with him and a card other days of the year just as important in my opinion okay so i feel like all of us okay a majority of us are saying i want a card and flowers or chocolate anything else is a bonus right for me if i just got a card it was a happy valentine's day babe fling me a card and that's it i'd be a

bit like what have we been together 20 years what What is that? Do you know what I mean? I want to spend time with you. Like me and my boyfriend this year, we're just going to have a really nice cinema night. That's one of my favorite things to do with my boyfriend. Just like relax together. Cause we're at the moment, especially this time of year, I really struggle to relax. I really enjoy that quality time one-to-one me and you no outside noise just like love being in each other's company obviously I'm going to get him a card and something little like it when I say little will be little like we're not doing presents but yeah mine is I'd rather we just spent the time together but if you don't get me a card that is unacceptable like honestly unacceptable like that's an insult that is literally a statement if you do not get me a card i actually think you've gone out of your way not

to get me a card i actually think you hate me like if you haven't got me a valentine's day card just tell me you hate me like honestly i'll take that very personally i really would so yeah interesting guys i feel like a lot of you are on the same page but for me maybe it's because my love language is quality time though you know what for me maybe it's because my love language is quality time though you know what I mean because I imagine if your love language was gifts Valentine's Day is a big fucking day do you know what I mean it's like yeah it's gifts day baby do you know what I mean and if it's um words of affirmation we want a card yeah we I want a card and I want words I want paragraphs in that card so yeah it

does all come down to you as a person and your love language i suppose i also do but i do believe it has a lot to do with how long you've been together you know like one of you said it's your first valentine's day with your boyfriend so you're going all out so i love that for you babe have an amazing time okay guys amazing weekly debate thank you for sending in your responses let's get into some dilemmas okay everyone let's get into some dilemmas i'm gonna kick off with this one it says hi leah i have a dilemma which i think i know the answer is pretty obvious but my best friends say it's actually all right and there's no need to get worked up over this when I'm actually not hurting anyone okay let's see shall

we okay so for context I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and honestly he is such a gem we met pretty quickly after I ended my last long-term relationship so at first I was skeptical but it turned out to actually be the best decision ever. He is genuinely the most thoughtful person I've ever met and I see a long future with him. Gorgeous. However, my last relationship came to an end when I realized that I could do so much better. My ex was lovely. I feel like I grew out of that relationship as I got older, but there is also another factor. I met a guy at work about five months before we broke up.

Oh God, there's another guy. I met a guy at work about five months before we broke up. Oh god, there's another guy. Fuck. Of course, when I met this guy, he remained purely just a friend, but we were always very open. Sorry, he was always very open that he fancied me, and truthfully, I had a massive crush on him back. He sort of made me realise that there is no way I could possibly love my ex as much as I thought I did if I started to have feelings for someone else. When I broke up with my ex nothing happened with this guy except a drunken kiss. Okay so that brings me on to today. I'm in a new relationship and it's everything I've ever wanted but I'm still friends with this guy. It's hard not to be as we work together and I think I still fancy him. He is still super flirty towards me. When I see him I think we both know

we still have something for each other. I can feel the chemistry but of course I'd never cross that path. It worries me because I question myself. Do I really love my current boyfriend as much as I think I do because I have a crush on someone else? Am I wrong to feel this way? If my boyfriend were to ever open up to me and explain his crush on another girl and their history i'd be so upset that could almost break us up so i feel like my feelings must be wrong any advice is appreciated i'd just like to mention that this guy is such a fuck boy player but it's a well-known fact that he is in love with me i thought about it once when i was single being with him but i don't think that's something that could ever work out so really i feel like my only option is to try and cut him out of my life I just love talking with him so much guilty pleasure

love the pod and love you oh love you okay this is really fucking complicated I have so many thoughts on this like I'm really confused I don't know what to think so initially I'm thinking when you felt about this when you felt this way about the last guy you were with, you ended the relationship. You were like, I shouldn't feel this way. I'm ending my relationship. Right. And you still feel this way in a new relationship, but you don't want to end it, which is a better sign because I think it wasn't this guy that made you end your last relationship. Do you know what I mean? Like if it wasn't this guy that made you end your last relationship do you know what I mean like if it was just this guy alone you'd be ending this relationship for the same reason but you're not so I'm thinking you also said you know you thought about being with

him but you feel like it's just not going to work because it's a fuck boy so your only option is to cut him out of your life so I'm thinking right so if he wasn't a fuck boy would you want to be of him over your current boyfriend do you know what I mean like that's what's confusing me and I do also believe this like I genuinely genuinely do and I know people are going to disagree with me but in my experience this is just true and I actually saw a tiktok about it earlier so I think when you're with someone that you it is right with like you want to be with them it's just right you don't find other people attractive like you just don't and I saw this girl saying it it was on another podcast and she was like you know I've been in relationships where I thought it's really normal to still look at other guys and be like oh god

he's so fucking fair but I better not because I got a boyfriend and then she's with someone now and she's like I don't even process other people as attractive like I can't even comprehend that thought like it doesn't even cross my mind and I back that 100% I truly agree so I do wonder like how come you're able to even see this guy this way. But I don't know. It's tough because I feel like it's that, you know, and also, also another point I want to add is because he is a fuckboy and a player, but he's in love with you. Like that's going to feel really good. Right. in a playa but he's in love with you like that's gonna feel really good right because it's like he's this fuck boy that like girls get fucked over by but he wants me you know and like it's

been a while and he still wants me and he still flirts with me and that's gonna make you feel good so I wonder if part of it's that do you know what I mean like how it can boost your confidence and make you feel sexy and make you feel I I don't know, just good about yourself. And maybe that's what you like about it. But for me, my personal opinion is you're disrespecting your boyfriend by entertaining it at all. Like I know you said he flirts with you, so I'm going to assume you don't flirt with him. But for me, like you said the same thing. If this was my boyfriend and she was on the other foot, that's not going to fucking sail with me. Do you know what I mean?

Like imagine, oh yeah, like we used to really fancy each other and we have kissed and we work together and we're really close at work and she still flirts with me. I'd be like, well, you're disrespecting me by even allowing that behavior from her. that behavior from her so I would expect you to say to him look I've got a boyfriend like I find your behavior a little bit inappropriate so you know I'm all it's all well and good we work together but I just don't think you should be crossing these this line with me you know set boundaries in place out of respect of your boyfriend I think that's the best thing to do um if you really want to be with your boyfriend because I don't know if that's what you're doubting or not but yeah I just think some boundaries need to be set in place out of respect for your boyfriend and for your relationship

that's what I would expect well to be honest if it's the other way around I'd be like quit your fucking job quit your job get that fucking bitch sacked now reported to the manager oh my god the stress though but i do understand what your friends are saying like you're not doing anything wrong you're not cheating on anyone you're not acting on these feelings so don't stress but at the same time these feelings are a stress on their own like you shouldn't really enjoy being hit on like it should just be like oh fuck off I've got a fucking boyfriend do you know what I mean so I don't know about that one babes that one's all you sorry this is useless advice right now I don't know I just think have a think about the things I've said see if any of it just flicks a switch anywhere makes you realize anything

before you decide what you're going to do about it and let me know what you do because that is a really difficult situation best of luck uh love you so much everything's going to be fine remember that and you got this and you just can't help it you just fucking hot stuff at the end of the day can't turn it off can you okay next dilemma hi leah absolutely love the podcast have listened to every single episode since you started oh i love you thank you so have a bit of a dilemma and would love your advice all right i'm ready i've been with this boy for six years and last summer i'd found messages on his phone from a couple of years before. Long story short we got back together as I decided to forgive him and give him a second chance since he promised me it would never happen again. Okay so you've been with him

six years and then you found messages that he cheated on you a couple of years prior. Ouch he kept that secret for years and you found the messages he didn't come clean fucker okay you thought you were taking that one to the grave didn't you anyway after many months of gaining my trust back okay perfect he gained it back he just oh okay hold that thought he decided to call me last monday to tell me he had drunkenly kissed a girl Oh, stunning. Just go fuck myself, shall I? What the fuck? I mean, at least he fucking owned up to this one.

Yeah, well. Oh, fucking idiot. I stupidly booked a holiday with him a couple of weeks before, which is all in his name, and he's trying to use this to persuade me to amend things with him. Of course he is! He's going to try everything. I've asked him to cancel the holiday, but he is refusing and saying I have to come with him

or I lose my money, as it's my choice not to go. Well, it's not really. It was your choice to fucking cheat on me, you dickhead. Luckily, I've only put a deposit down, so it's not a huge amount i would lose i'm finding it extremely different as he is my first love i don't know if you mean different or difficult but we're just going to go along with it and i don't know how i would move on from this i know deep down i need to listen to my head over my heart this time as he's clearly proven to me that he hasn't changed would love your opinion on this oh god you know what i don't fucking know like i'm really not on top form today do you know what

i just think don't go on the holiday i definitely think don't go on the holiday because he's using that as an excuse to win you back do you know what i mean well we've booked a holiday together so you can't just not come well i wanted to go on that holiday actually but you know what happened you've decided to fucking cheat on me so oh you can pay me the money back it's your fucking fault i'm not going it's not my fault you cheated on me it's not my fault i'm missing out on this holiday because you fucked our relationship so you owe me 180 quid however much the deposit was fucking out do you know what i mean like what the fuck this is not my fault first of all second of

all i just feel like when you've worked so hard to you know know, you've had to put in a lot of work here to trust someone again. It's fucking painful and it's really hard. And then he's kissed another girl. You've just kissed someone. Drunk. Like, just for me, that just suggests you feel these feelings and it was the alcohol that made you forget about the consequences do you know what i mean and that's why you did it you know it just it's like you're not just 100% faithful to me then you get pissed and all of a sudden you're not for me when somebody makes

a mistake like that drunk they already have these thoughts and feelings and it's just alcohol stops you from imagining the consequences so that's when you make those decisions easier whereas someone who just would never cheat does not fancy other people does not want attention from other people and absolutely loves and adores their partner alcohol isn't just going to make you fucking throw that out the window alcohol isn't just going to make you go actually I feel like fucking tonight do you know what I mean like for me that just suggests you're not a hundred percent to me and that's not good enough um also you know you broke up with him last time right let me read this back so um yeah you got back together you decided to forgive him give him a second chance okay I understand that I do understand that you've been together six years but for me

I don't want to put negative thoughts into your head but I would just think I found those messages do you know what I mean what fucking else did you do was you ever going to tell me that probably not and now you've just kissed someone a night out so I would just remind you how much you deserve and how worthy you are of at the very fucking least a faithful boyfriend yeah um don't go on the holiday I think it's not worth it like um don't go on the holiday i think it's not worth it like lose the money you know what money comes and goes but you have to put yourself first in the situation and repair the damage that he's done only you can do that and you're more than good enough and more than capable to pick yourself back up be the amazing girl you are single do you know what I mean obviously if you in your gut feel like you forgive him and you can trust him and you want to get back with him I'm

never ever gonna hold that against you I'm always gonna say you know what you all do what you want to do I'll support you every step of the way but just make sure you know what you are worth and what you deserve and think about what this says about him as a person and ask yourself if that's someone you want to be with. Keep me updated. I love you. I'm really, really sorry that this has happened to you. You just deserve better. Like as as your friend, you deserve better.

Period. Do you know what I mean? I love you so much. Keep us updated. Okay. Next dilemma. Oh, God. Okay. Mm hmm. Hey, leah i'm getting ghosted oh fuck do you know what

i don't think i've ever been ghosted i'm amazing no i actually don't think i've ever been ghosted how could you ghost me i'm fucking i'm a psycho i will show up at your house. How could you ghost me? Okay. It says, I've never been ghosted in my life. Oh, well, I just spoke to you fucking soon, didn't I? It's going to be me. Could you imagine getting ghosted by a boyfriend? Has that ever happened to anyone? Like they don't even break up with you. They just fucking disappear off the face of the earth. It's happened oh my god i'd lose my mind imagine that that would be absolute hell absolute torture imagine you never heard from them again you're like bye babe see you when you get home never saw him again that they just fully ghosted you oh but then also fuck you do you know what i mean what does that say about you anyway i've just made

up a whole dilemma on my own that doesn't even exist okay okay. Okay. It says, I've never been ghosted in my life. I met this guy and everything was going smoothly other than the small red flag here and there. Oh, the small red flag here and there, but fuck it. He said he doesn't like the word relationship. Oh, right. Okay. I'm not going to go small on that one. I'm going to say that's a pretty major red flag. Yeah, I really don't like the word relationship. Okay, that's fine. That's fine.

He's been cheated on in his past relationship. He seemed really keen. Said he likes me but then started overthinking saying he doesn't want to get his hopes up. Oh, it's an excuse. It's an excuse. We met a couple of times and he spent quite a lot of money on our first dates. And then he seemed really excited to see me again and said he had a good time and i've not heard from him so two days after i messaged saying i'm confused and he said he really likes me but he pushes people away when things start to work honestly it's it's an excuse it's an excuse

when people say that you guys might disagree there might be people listening to me saying no it's not an excuse i do that but i believe if you meet someone you truly truly genuinely like you don't push them away if you meet someone that you really really want to be in a relationship with you don't push them away anyway from then he's not messaged at all but posted on his socials and even viewed my stories yet not even opened my message what's your perspective on this you can also ask your boyfriend for a guy's perspective oh no sorry can you also ask your boyfriend for a guy's perspective it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me but i think i romanticized what could have been but i'm still so confused love you bye okay i think it's an excuse um i don't i'm not I'm not saying that he didn't get cheated on and I'm not

saying that he isn't afraid of relationships and he isn't afraid of commitment and he does push people away when things get serious I'm not saying none of that's true but I'm saying that it's an excuse for his behavior like you might do that but if you really liked me and if you really wanted if you really saw girlfriend material in me you're going to communicate with me and say look I'm a bit scared you know I must I'm I've been burnt in the past I'm scared of relationships I'm scared of being going through what I've been through in the past I typically push people away when I get to this point and I don't want to do that with you right I think it's either an excuse or he's just not ready and he's leading you on and you should just think do you know what I'm only going to get hurt in this situation he's told me he doesn't like the word relationships he's told me he pushes people

away when when things get serious that's only going to end badly for me do you know what i mean i think if that's your person he'll come back when he's ready for a relationship and if you're in a position where you're single and still interested in him then that was the universe pulling you together at the right time you know but if not then then not do you know what i mean like this is never a loss like you always just deserve commitment and someone that's going to treat you right and if he's not willing to do that then that's that honey do you know what i mean i will ask my boyfriend his opinion so passing the mic over to jamie he's i'm just putting on spot he did not see this coming so have you got an opinion on this yeah i do okay hit us with it

okay i've got two options that spring to mind leah's laughing at me in the background but the first one that is um quite obvious and i do think some guys do do it it's quite common is the fact that he's speaking to other people i think that's that's probably the reason um he just don't want to have you on his socials it gives him an excuse not to post you it gives him an excuse not to have them you know that commitment and be able to play around

so it doesn't sound nice and it is my opinion at the end of the day it might be wrong second one he just might not see girlfriend material in you and I know that sounds absolutely horrible but it's no reflection of you he's just obviously not worth it so um yeah take them with a pinch of salt because it

is just a lad's perspective but um i wish you the best of luck and he's not worth your time wow there we go i feel like that was very well said god my voice sounds very like nasally after his it's not worth your time i'm from yorkshire do you know what i mean though i agree like there is an option that he's talking to somebody else or several other elses and you know he's saying it all to all of you it's not like a problem right now which is fine if you're not but a bit of honesty about um where i stand would be nice you know but yeah there's our opinions as we've both said take them with a pinch of salt because we could be wrong maybe he's just scared he's gonna come running and say i'm ready i'm ready for you i'm ready but we will just have to see what you do as always keep us updated and we love you so much.

Next dilemma. Okay, we've got a friendship dilemma. We love these. Okay. I have a small friend group of around eight girls. Small? Small? I've got about two friends.

I have a small group of eight girls. Fuck me. I've actually got two friends. Okay. Well, all of you guys guys but you know what I mean okay but there is a core three people who consistently hang out myself Sam and Kathy oh gorgeous I hope they're fake names but if not your fault I love all my friends and we've been close for well over a year but with the new year and my

birthday coming up I can't help but reflect on this past year and who i chose to associate with sam and i have had some drama in the past but to me it was squashed she hated both of my best friends from a different city fuck bit passioner like how do you hate people do you know what i mean from a different city as well christ and constantly talks about how much she hated them to my face after i asked her not to well good for you asking her not to i love that from you more recently she has done some pretty oh some petty things to embarrass me oh fuck off these friends honestly fuck off she had a crush on this boy josh over the summer and would constantly call him on my phone since we used to

be close and even one time made us accidentally run into him at a restaurant then later when she was with josh with my other friends and without me told him i was obsessed and stalked him so that we could run into him what the fuck is this bitch honestly she's jealous of you she is so jealous of you i feel like things like this have been constant and she is honestly very toxic to me as i've heard she constantly talks behind my back when i'm not there i've tried to hint at sam being rude to my other friends like kathy and it seems everyone notices but does not care also one of our close friends recently removed herself from the group for similar reasons and now all they do is talk bad about her. I'm not sure what to do because I

really want to remove myself from the situation, but don't want to create drama in the friend group. Don't want to be left with no friends and don't want them to talk badly and give me a trashed reputation. Yikes. Okay. So I think if you, if you're in a group of friends and you have a fear that if you express your feelings they're gonna talk shit about you they're not your friends like first of all this sam girl is not your fucking friend like fuck sam but if you're literally thinking well if i do this then they're all gonna talk shit about me they are not friends full stop do you know what i mean like you just don't do that you know i can express my feelings to my friends they're going to hear me we're going to have a conversation and we're going to move past bigger and better that's how friendships work this isn't a friendship to me

so i think what you need to think about is you are the energy you surround yourself with that's what you attract that's what you give off and this just sounds like negative energy and not just not good for you so like I would rather have no friends well none would be really quite hellish but you know I'd rather have one friend than a ton of people that just make me feel like shit and talk shit about me and just bring me fucking stress so I honestly believe it's all about happiness peace respect and understanding you your life the people in your life the people around your life so if somebody isn't bringing that energy into your life they gotta go they gotta be cut that's my that's my personal opinion because your life's all about you you're the main character in your

own life and these are all just supporting acts yeah and. And if they're shit, they get cut from the show, hun. Do you know what I mean? It's your show. So I would really ask yourself, do you feel good when you hang out with these people? Do you feel good when you talk to these people? Do you feel respected? Do you feel understood? If the answer is no, then there is no loss in cutting them people out just again.

then there is no loss in cutting them people out just again. Like it's okay to be, have a quiet, peaceful life because sometimes big friendship groups is just pure fucking chaos. And this is just an example. So I would just prioritize what you think is best for you in your life and not feel bad about it. And if they do talk shit about you, who fucking cares? Like who actually cares? Imagine this. Yeah. You cut all of the toxic people out of your life. You've got a couple of people that you know you love and trust and it's reciprocated. And all these people are talking shit about you. It's not going to matter because no one's talking shit to you. No one's impacting your life.

No one's bringing you down. No one's knocking your self-esteem. No one's chatting shit about you to other people that are important. No one's making out that you're obsessed with people that you're not obsessed with. Like, what the fuck was she doing with that boy? Do you know what I mean? It's so weird and random. Such a strange way to behave.

And you've got a nice life with people that make you happy and make you feel good about yourself. And you love them and they love you. So you will just be the winner in that situation. And they can talk shit. And that's just one big fucking reflection on them that's what i think just remember that it's always a reflection of them what people say about you not you and how they deliver it because if somebody genuinely is a friend to you and they have any sort of feelings towards you that will be delivered directly to you in a gentle way it will not be bitchy it will not be passive aggressive and it will definitely not be behind your back so it's never a loss if

they just bring you down it's never a loss do you know what i mean you are amazing never forget it love you so much okay guys fun dilemmas this week boyfriend had another feature fucking hell jamie on the line or what getting sick of it at this point if you guys ever want his opinion he's usually around while I'm recording so I can always just go and grab him so yeah let's wrap up the episode okay everyone thank you so much for making it to the end of the episode i love you guys so much honestly i love and appreciate you more than you will ever ever ever know and understand even be able to wrap your head around to be honest every single second that you that you listen to this

um podcast every response that you give to any of my instagram stories any dilemmas you send in they all mean the world and I just can't express it enough to be honest for like the luckiest girl in the world so happy Valentine's day from me to you the ones I love anyway anything exciting going on in your life send me a DM let me know I love hearing all your good news any holidays you have planned this year let me know and I'll be really jealous I need to book them i haven't booked any holidays this year and i have to i literally need it i don't think i could function without knowing i've got a holiday coming up i don't think i could do it because you lot oh oh god i sound so like you're fucking entitled i just don't think i could function without a

holiday oh fucking holy oh jesus i hate myself saying that take it back i'm really lucky and grateful to be alive to be honest anyway oh look at me getting deep again talking about my fear of death oh my god i had a dream last night i got stabbed twice scary as fuck and i woke up thinking someone's stabbing me in the back right now there was a message do you know what i mean because i got stabbed in the back literally stabbed it was a stab and run but it didn't hurt and then i looked in the mirror and i like pulled my skin so i could see and i had a big hole big hole in the back had a big hole how do you do a scottish accent not shut haven't anyone seen bodyguard best series ever oh my god i finished happy valley i miss it already i miss it already but right all me and

my family have had the shittest fucking week last week like all of us just had a shit week like all these fucking awful things was happening and there's a scene in happy valley where katherine's walking down the street and she goes what a shit week and it's what we've been saying to each other all week. Honestly, it's a shit week. Anyone else had a shit week last week? Me too, honey, if you did. What a shit week. Anyway, this week is going to be better. It's going to be good.

Good things are coming. I'm going to receive some great news soon. I can feel it in my bones. I can feel it. God, I got goosebumps when I said that. Also, I've said it in the last episode or the one before um we're gonna go see that medium again remember I told you about the medium I went to see his name was Mick some some of you guys have been messaging me asking me who it is where it is it's called

Heavenly Connections in Leeds um this was not sponsored obviously sponsored by a medium we obviously paid it was fucking incredible i cannot recommend it enough look at the reviews on google like it will not disappoint i guarantee but go to mick i don't know who else does the readings but i'm recommending mick okay if any of you are near leeds you have to go it's so fucking good um and yeah i was gonna say tell him i sent you but he'll probably know do you know what i mean he's psychic could you imagine if he was just if he just knew sometimes i feel a bit exposed though like i feel like oh my god do you know like my deepest darkest secrets I don't even have any secrets actually I actually don't that's how fucking boring my life is I fully don't have a single secret I actually don't think I do I need to go and do something crazy keep it to myself

Mick will know though Mick will look into my eyes and know exactly what I'm up to no I sound like I'm taking the piss but I'm not he's that good he gives you names he told me I'm having twins because I think I've said this before I've said it probably five times but I'll say it again I walked in and and I and he was like oh like who's the twin who's the twin I was like oh me me I'm a twin and then he was like I can see three sets of twins no no he said no no you're having twins and I was like oh my god that is my dream like I've always wanted to have twins and then he goes I'm seeing three sets of twins and I thought fucking hell god Mick please no do you know what I mean don't tell me that and he said no no I'm just seeing three sets you your twins and I was like

oh my mum's a twin my mum's a twin he was like ah there we go so can't wait to have my little babies my little baby twins and um you guys don't have a fear of death and basically um going to a medium and him telling me that i'm gonna have twins just sort of guaranteed me a few more years of life because if you can see me having twins do you mean stunning he also said me and jamie are married in spirit he like held her hands and was like you guys are married in spirit i was like fuck yeah have i got a big fucking rock in spirit big spirit rock on my finger anyway i can't wait to see him what if he's like oh my god i thought you were having twins but i got it all wrong i'm like oh this place is shit

anyway i love you guys i love you guys i hope you all have the best week on friday we are doing um the would you rather x edition i've already got the stories up they're so good so if you're listening on tuesday the stories will still be up so get them sent in put your answers to the polls i put some good ones up um let me know what ick you would rather head over to my Instagram at leah on the line and check them out and you know what while we're here follow me at leah levain on Instagram shameless plug and at leah levain on TikTok fuck yeah fuck it up anyway I love you guys so much have the best week and I'll speak to you on Friday for a brand new episode all right i love you