Leah on the Line - 58: Making friends in your 20's & I can't get over that ONE person...

Episode Date: March 21, 2023

Hey honeys!! It's so good to be back with the weekly debate and dilemmas. This week we discussed how common it is to have that ONE person you will always have a thing for or just can't help but think "what if?" about... In the dilemmas this week we touched on friendships, toxic managers at work and making difficult decisions in relationships. Thank you so so much for all the love and support on LOTL, I cannot tell you enough how much I appreciate you. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of lear on the line happy tuesday happy tuesday everyone i hope you had a really nice weekend. What did you get up to? I had a normal, I had an okay weekend. It was, it was pretty normal for me. I went to bingo on Sunday night. Didn't win a single penny. It was really fucking expensive as well. It was like 80 quid for the night. I was like, Jesus Christ. Bit steep, bit steep. Mecca. I all right mecca but um yeah lost it all didn't win not that i'm promoting gambling okay bingo i feel like bingo is different do you know what i mean i don't know i just find bingo like fun although i get the fear like i get this fear when it comes to calling out you know when you've got like one to go i'm literally i'm not shouting out like i'm not going yeah it gives me the egg yeah

yeah yeah because no one actually says bingo right everyone's just always like er because well to be fair that's like when i go to the london bingo halls most of the time people say yeah yeah that's me like it'll be a thousand pound house and someone would just be like yeah i'm like you've just won a grand love bit of enthusiasm but then it's like a 10 pound line and someone's like yeah I'm like whoa boy but anyway didn't win anything but never mind it's fun and games you know what I mean but um I'm really happy to be back I'm happy to be back talking to you all it feels really good to be sat down chilling out with my besties you know and yeah love you so much I'm not going to ramble on too much at the start of this episode because I feel like I'm really excited to get into these dilemmas like we've got some good ones we haven't

done dilemmas in ages where I've took time off so I'm really excited to just get back into the drama do you know what I mean although it is actually your real life so don't think that i get enjoyment out of it because of that okay i just i love being best friends with you all okay guys let's get straight into the episode thank you so much for listening to leah on the line remember to leave a rating on apple podcast and spotify and hit the notification bell you can send in your confessions and dilemmas to leah on the line at gmail.com and follow me on socials at leahontheline and at leahlevane to see visual clips of the podcast. I love you. Enjoy the episode. Okay, back with the weekly debates, guys. So this is one that I thought of a couple of weeks ago, and I was really intrigued. And somebody sent in a dilemma and it's perfect for this week so my question for you this

week is do you have that person you always have a thing for slash think what if about you know what I mean so there's I hear it all the time everyone's got that one person that like didn't quite work out or like you didn't quite take things far with and you'd always think what if or like maybe you used to have like frequent sex with someone and like every time you see them it's like oh and like you still have that thing of each other and it's like that unspoken thing like do you guys have that because we hear about it a lot so let's see let's see if it's a real thing kicking it off with yes but I believe that if anything was meant to happen then it would have 100% but then I feel like people it's more the thing of just like I've just got this thing for you like I don't want to be with you but like people have this thing like they can't shake it

off do you know what I mean I feel like I've definitely had that in the past maybe when I was like younger do you know what I mean but like now I can confirm I don't have that a shout out to my boyfriend who's probably thinking brilliant thanks no I can confirm there is nobody that I'm like what if like no but I feel like there has been a person in probably all of our lives where it's just like you see them and you're just a bit like oh there he is do you know what I mean but yeah mine was more when i was like younger but let's carry on with what you guys have to say yes i saw mine at the weekend and still had the slight butterflies when i saw him oh goodness this is what i mean um no i always believe what's meant for you will not pass you

yes but i think it's because there was never any closure oh great point great point like I feel like this is usually a case of like nothing went wrong there wasn't like a big this isn't gonna work or just like no one hurt the other person it's just like maybe it fizzled out or you were just like yeah like that's just something's missing do you know what I mean in that case I can imagine um for sure even though I've moved on with a new guy it still plays in my head I don't know if that's normal oh the stress okay yes we were only talking for two weeks back in May 22 and I still have a thing for him oh my god no but if my current relationship ended i know that he would be that person right okay so you think your boyfriend now is that person i mean great he's your boyfriend so stunning really my ex still pops up in my dreams lol oh my god how long ago did you break up personally yes but not enough to want to go back comfortable enough to leave

in the past gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous yes i dreamt about them on saturday night and can't get them out of my head now oh my god isn't it fucking like annoying to think that like we have these dreams and like no one knows what we dream about every night we all have these dreams not not these kind of dreams i just mean like every night we all dream right and your boyfriend or girlfriend could wake up one morning with you morning babe morning gorgeous and they've just had a dream about their ex and they're not gonna fucking tell you do you know what i mean imagine that morning babe oh good morning thought you're someone else oh okay carrying on okay i did but now he's my boyfriend oh amazing amazing i did up until i met my current boyfriend and now i don't even think about him what's meant to be will be love that i'm with you on that one

um absolutely but i also know there's reasons they're not in my life anymore definitely I did until I met my boyfriend and couldn't imagine being with anyone else yes gorgeous 100% doesn't everyone oh I don't think we do I don't think we all do but then I have in the past like I've had but then when I say that I can't even put my finger on who that might have been I think what I'm thinking of is just like more like you never actually ended up with someone and you never got serious with anyone but like you might see them every now and then and you sort of knew we fucking in it no I literally just made that up I don't think I've ever been in that situation anyway I feel like feel like as humans, no matter what situation, we will always think, what if? Oh my God, I hope that's not true because,

oh my God, what if all of our boyfriends have that, or girlfriends, have that person? There's like, what if? Oh my good Lord. This is going to stress you all out. Stress me out. I have multiple because when I speak to someone for more than a week, I will fall in love. I do, but I found my person and he's everything I could ever ask for. So I'm glad it didn't work out. Amazing. Okay. So I feel like a lot of us are saying like I have, like in the past I've had that person that I've always had this like little weird niggling underlying thing for. and then as soon as I've met my now partner they're irrelevant I couldn't give a shit about that other person you know okay

but then some of you are like yeah I can't get him out of my fucking mind not good that sounds really stressful to be having these feelings thoughts and feelings but do you still hang out with them? That's the thing. Like, are they like a mutual friend? Oh God, the stress, I could never. Okay, amazing weekly debate, everyone. Send me all of your ideas. I've got some good ones coming up,

but send me any weekly debate ideas that you have, anything that you see on TikTok. You guys tend to tag me in things on TikTok quite often, which I love, whether it be someone drinking milk, or weekly debate ideas being like, oh my God, you have to debate this on the pod. So keep them coming. I love them. And yeah, I love you guys. Let's get into some dilemmas. Okay, everyone, I hope you're comfortable, whatever it is you're doing.

everyone I hope you're comfortable whatever it is you're doing let's get into the deep deep stress drama confusion going on in all of your lives okay I'm gonna do what I can to help you as I always say you know you don't have to follow my advice and I will not be held responsible okay let's get into the first one hey girl just want to say i love the pod and have been listening from the very beginning me and my boyfriend listen together and i always get him to give his opinions on the dilemmas and debate oh i love that shout out to you and the boy but okay on to the dilemma it's a long one sorry if i ramble that's okay absolutely no issues here me and my boyfriend have been wait me and my boyfriend have been, wait, me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly three years. So you and your boyfriend listened to this and you're sending me a dilemma about your relationship. Okay. You're brave.

Let me, this is your sign. Hey, you might want to get your boyfriend to leave right now. Okay. Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly three years. We live together and I know that I want to marry him. Oh, amazing. There are no issues in our relationship at all. However, you could sense the butt coming. I can't help but think, what if about one of my guy friends from uni? Okay. I feel like if you and your boyfriend are listening to this right now, he 1 million percent is going to know this is about you and him. So I don't really know. I feel like I somehow need to give you a heads up not to listen to this episode, but it's too late at this point. I love you. Okay. Actually, to be fair, when I spoke about the weekly debate, I said it links to someone's

dilemma. So hopefully you would have gone, fuck, that's me. And then gone, um, Billy, why don't you, why don't you go and um grab us something to eat honey yeah anyway okay so she can't help but think what if about one of her guy friends from uni while i was at uni i hate to admit but we slept together while both of us were in previous relationships i'm not proud of it but anyway we were really good friends before we slept together and have stayed really good friends after sleeping together multiple times. Is that, is that a possible thing? I don't know. Before my current relationship, we would text quite often, just general nice chit chat and also some flirty messages. As we are all in a big uni friendship group, it wouldn't be unusual

for me and him to just message each other randomly, just as friends. Okay, but the issue here is you're not, I would, I can't class you as just friends after you've had sex with someone. I don't think you can class yourself as just friends anymore. I don't know. Do you guys agree with me on that one? Anyway, carrying on. At the very beginning of mine and my current boyfriend's talking stage my boyfriend found flirty messages between me and my uni friend okay so you're just seeing it you're seeing your boyfriend at this point and he's found some

messages between you and the guy okay since then i haven't been able to message my uni friend even on a friendly basis out of respect of my boyfriend so he is making this call from the flirty messages not even knowing that you had sex with him by the sounds of it okay um and i do sort of miss our friendship and just being able to check in every now and again with what he's up to oh do you though do you really need to know what he's up to or is it a little bit deeper than that I only really see him when our whole uni friendship group meets up which is not often now we're all a bit older I'm 25 by the way he would sometimes message me just friendly like hey how have you been and I either ignore him or say my boyfriend wouldn't be happy if he knew I

was even talking to him on a friendship level. So you are dropping the BF in it. I'm not allowed. I'm not allowed to talk to you. Okay. Interesting. I can't help but miss the friendship we used to have. And I also can't help but think what if, as if we, as we both have previously said, if we were both single at the same time, we could have ended up together. But it just never worked out that way. I feel guilty for thinking and feeling these things as I adore my boyfriend. But is it a sign if I can't shake this what if feeling with my guy friend? Or is this something everyone has and there will always just be a what if?

Would be really interested to know your thoughts slash opinions on this. Sorry for the long dilemma. I love you. Bye. Oh my God. This is a really awful situation for you to be in. I do not envy you. I love you. So from the weekly debate, it sounds like most people that have had this thing that you have with your uni friend, it tends to go when you meet the right person. Not all the time, because there are a lot of cases where we heard they were like, yep, don't real hon. But a lot of people said, you know, I did, but then I met someone and you know, he's my boyfriend now and don't even think about him anymore. So the fact that it's still there, I do wonder if it's the whole like forbidden fruit thing. Do you know what I mean? Like, would you be that bothered about messaging him if your boyfriend didn't have an issue with it but also oh it is hard do you know what I mean it's hard

for me to really be able to tell you what this means because it's like I can totally see how a lot of you in the weekly debate like yeah like you've always got that person but it's not that deep but for you it feels a bit deeper like you're actually thinking like i can't help but think what if do you know what i mean rather than just like oh yeah like i'll always have a thing for him but like there's nothing do you know what i mean it doesn't feel like it's nothing for you which is kind of worrying i'm not sure because you like, like everyone said, whatever's meant to be will be what's meant for you won't pass you by. So I wouldn't focus on this uni friend. I would focus on your relationship and ask yourself, is this, is this the relationship I want to be in? Do you know

what I mean? Because let's say you were single, would you be in a relationship with this other guy? Or would you probably just have a bit of sex with him and then it fizzle out again? Do you know what I'm saying? So I would look at your relationship before you look at it being anything to do with this other guy personally. This is a hard one for me to navigate, but I'm hoping that all the opinions on the weekly debate might be able to help you. I feel like if it's just a case of yeah you know like I'll always have a thing of him but whatever then that's fine but you saying to him oh I can't reply because like my boyfriend gets pissed off about it to me sounds like you want him to know like I do want to talk to you like I do

really want to chat to you like please don't stop trying with me like please don't feel rejected by me because I do really want to talk to you rather than it just a case of like you know we've slept together like you could have said to him we've slept together I personally would feel uncomfortable if my boyfriend was messaging a girl that he slept with so just out of respect for my boyfriend I'm just I feel like we should set some boundaries between our friendship do you know what I mean but because you didn't say that it's almost like you wanted him to know that this we can't really be talking anymore isn't coming from you so that kind of says a lot to me personally what do you guys think on that one because yeah it could have just been out of you

know out of respect for my boyfriend and that's an understandable thing to say like that that wouldn't be unusual for you to turn around and say that to someone that you've had sex with you know out of respect for my boyfriend I think we should just set some boundaries in place in our friendship I don't feel like we need to have these unnecessary conversations I would feel uncomfortable if my boyfriend was doing that with a girl that he was chagging. Do you know what I mean? So just have respect for him. That's what I'm going to do. It's not personal. Blah, blah, blah.

You know, if it was just friends, you would never have crossed that line. But you did. So in my personal opinion, you can't really be classed as just friends anymore. So, yeah, I would really try and dig deep and be like, okay, why do I want his attention? Like, why do I want him to know that I still want to talk to him and maybe just see if you can figure something out if you have a proper think about why you're saying certain things and why you still want his attention and you know is there something about your relationship now that is just not right you know um let me know the conclusion that you come to I love you so much and everything's

gonna be fine don't panic do you know what i mean you're so young when we're in these situations they feel so consuming and it feels like oh my god like everything is terrible and the world's gonna end like but really it's just like the worst case scenario is you end your relationship because you decide that it's not right for you nothing bad is gonna happen to you're going to be fine just just try not to hurt anyone in the process do you know what i mean i love you so much next dilemma okay this one says hi leah to start just wanted to say how much of a comfort you are you're my go-to podcast oh i love you so much thank you so i've been feeling really stuck recently i got kicked out of uni for failing exams which was a big knock and I've been really struggling with work anxiety slash feeling lost

I got my personal training training qualification from university so I'm currently working at a gym doing PT work and classes I've never had a good experience with jobs and this is one of this one is one of the worst my manager is constantly making me not feel good enough and making me look like I'm not good enough for the job in front of members. Oh, I hate their managers. I honestly hate them. Even though I work so hard and it never gets noticed,

I dread going to work. I often cry before and after and it's really taken a knock on my mental health. No. I had an interview for my dream job but they've been messing me around a lot and haven't heard and i haven't heard from them after inviting me back in weeks oh god that's really deflating isn't it because you get you get excited to think oh my god i'm getting out of here like i'm my dream job i'm gonna i'm making it it's all going to

plan it's all falling into place and then it just goes fucking ghost i'm a very introverted person so i'm having doubts that my dream of becoming a PT is just unreachable. Have you got any advice on how to gain confidence, work anxiety and feeling lost in your 20s? Big love. Also a PS I thought you'd laugh at. I fell asleep to one of your podcasts and woke up from a 10 hour sleep with your voice still playing. Credit to you for a lovely night's sleep. I'm that boring I'm joking oh my god well thanks for the thanks for downloads and the listens okay first of all you are more than good enough and being an introverted person is irrelevant to

how successful you can be as a PT like you don't you don't think that how you feel now and you know obviously your job and your manager is not helping they're going to make you feel shy and insecure and not feel good enough you will feel totally different out of that job believe me your confidence can grow and it will grow but my advice to you is get the fuck out of that job because it's not doing good for you you said it's really having a bad effect on your mental health fuck out of that job because it's not doing good for you you said it's really having a bad effect on your mental health and that should be a main priority in this moment so i would literally say go into anything else and call it temporary um if you can't get into your dream job like if that has gone ghost blah blah blah like just get into a job surrounded by people your age or people that you've you like-minded people basically whether it be at

another gym or a swimming place I don't know some other fucking thing that you feel like you're gonna fit right in right and call it temporary and say to yourself I'm so young you know I'm not I'm not supposed to have it all fucking figured out and I'm on a path I'm on the right path I'm not, I'm not supposed to have it all fucking figured out. And I'm on a path. I'm on the right path. I'm always on the right path. What's meant for me won't pass me. So this dream job, right, that you've said has gone a bit ghost. If it never ever works out in that job, you will figure out a reason why that didn't happen. And it will present itself to you in a year, fucking 10 years, a a week like you never know and you'll look at it and you'll go oh my god that that's why that happened that's why I didn't get

that job but that's why it took so long do you know what I mean so my main thing I would say to you is your manager is toxic as fuck and clearly very not just not very happy in themselves and they're projecting that energy onto you which is just cruel and it's it's not a good environment for you to be in you shouldn't be crying before and after every shift like I just don't want that for you so I've done it loads of times where I just go right I'm just going to do something I'm going to enjoy it whilst I figure it out do you know what I mean like I worked in bars for years because that's not what I wanted to do long term but I knew I needed to make money I needed to go somewhere every day I needed I needed a job and I wanted it to be something that wasn't going to be awful for my mental health where I was going to make friends where I was going to be able to do the shifts that I wanted

to do to work around my auditions I needed a job that was right for me temporarily in that moment of my life and I've absolutely no regrets about any of it so yeah I would just say to you you know obviously you can't well you can be to be honest if it's that bad you can be unemployed for a bit and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that but if you'd rather not be unemployed then just find I know it's no it's not as easy as just find another job but you know you but it is it is achievable and you can um and yeah I love you and I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this but please believe me when I say if being a PT is your dream job you can 100% achieve it being an introverted person means nothing you will still you're that still

makes you an incredible PT you can still get your dream job so please don't let your manager making you feel not good enough get to you because fuck fuck that bitch i don't know if it's a man or a woman but fuck them okay because it's a projection of them and and not of you whatsoever so yeah i love you so much and please keep me updated with that i would love to know whatever's next for you please keep me updated with that I would love to know whatever's next for you please let me know if anything does come from that dream job if they've gone quiet on you let me know if you hear from them and yeah I love you so much everything's gonna be okay next dilemma okay girly in need here okay so me and my best friend met at

uni a year ago and have been inseparable ever since. We're literally the same person but in different bodies. It's crazy. She's been through a lot in the last year and I've been there for her through everything. I've had a couple of struggles too but tended to keep them more to myself as she always seemed to be quite down herself. So I then didn't feel like I could unload my problems onto her. Okay, so you're filling her cup quite a lot. I didn't mind this for a while as I have a good boyfriend and other friends and I also get therapy so like it wasn't a big deal. Okay great so you're like I've got my support system I'm good. However recently we

decided to do a podcast together. Amazing. I was really excited for it and we had a lot of fun recording the episodes but all of a sudden unfortunately a lot of things have been overwhelming me my grandma passed away i'm drowning in deadlines and my anxiety has been through the roof i opened up to her about this and said i was concerned about doing the podcast as i just felt like i had a lot on my plate absolutely rather than being there for me and appreciating that i was what i was going through she just got annoyed and started suggesting that she would have to get someone else on to replace me uh priorities what the fuck I felt hurt by this as it was always supposed to be something fun and therefore was less of a priority if other things came up of course yeah it's like your side hustle you know since the tension caused by this she's completely distanced herself from me and only ever messages me to ask about the podcast rather than speaking

to me as a friend outside of that and checking in. Okay, I would message her but I feel that I have opened up to her and told her I'm struggling and she hasn't bothered to check in so I kind of just feel a bit done with it. To top it off, I found out from another friend that her and a guy she was seeing have made things official. Obviously, I'm happy for her but i'm really hurt that i heard it through someone else rather than her as i thought i'd be the first person she told being her best friend yeah that's a bit shit how should i deal with this situation going further part of me wants to reach out but then part of me questions if she really is a good friend to me or just needed me when she was having a shit time and now isn't bothered if i don't carry on with what she wants to do

the podcast please help oh god i hate those people that just take and take and take and take do you know what i mean it just you're filling her cup and she's really not filling yours is she so this is a tough one because it's almost like she's gone yeah you know like that that thing where it's like i'm sorry that your grandma passed away and everything like i obviously am like she's literally that she's literally that obviously i'm sorry your grandma passed away and everything yeah but or is it nan what does she say i'm sorry nan passed away anyway whatever she says she's that's literally her because it's like yeah yeah i'm sorry i know it's shit for you right now but the podcast and it's a bit like yeah but what about my real life do you know what i mean

like what about me i'm a human being what about me and she's lacking a lot of empathy here which doesn't make for the greatest friend let's be honest um i think it depends how far back your friendship grows grows goes how much she means to you how much the friendship means to you because you've got two options like you could literally just go okay like you've shown me who you are you've shown me what you think of me you've shown me what's important to you you've shown me what you think of me, you've shown me what's important to you, you've shown me your priorities, noted, good riddance, see you later, that is option one, or option two is listen, babe, you're my best mate, you've really upset me, you've really hurt me, and hopefully we can get some accountability from her side, because I'm sorry, to literally not even check up on you, you've said I'm having a really shit time, my anxiety's through the roof, you know, I'm sorry to literally not even check up on you. You've said I'm having a really shit time.

My anxiety is through the roof. You know, I'm grieving right now. And she's just like, she's not even popped you a message to say, how are you? How are you coping? Like, all she's got to say is, we're recording on Tuesday. We're recording.

What do you reckon for this, for content wise? What do you reckon? Podcast is up. is up like I'm sorry are we business partners or are we best friends because that is the difficult thing as soon as you mix business with pleasure it can be complicated okay so it I think it depends on what you want to come out of this because if you're like I'm really upset she's my best friend I absolutely love the fucking life out of her i don't want this friendship to end then i think reach out and say look i think we really need a proper chat do you know what i mean i feel really hurt i feel really just like you didn't give a fuck about me and surely you can see why i feel like that surely you can see why i'm hurt and. Surely you can see why I'm hurt. And if you can't, I'm alarmed.

I'm actually alarmed, you know? So yeah, hopefully she takes some accountability. I feel like it's not fair, for her to just completely neglect you as a friend and just prioritize what she needs from you is just fucking shit really but yeah i love you so much and i'm glad you've got an amazing boyfriend i'm glad you've got another community of friends who you lean on for support and good for you for going to therapy i'm so proud

of you you're amazing and i really i love you i hope everything picks up for you and also what i want to say to you is when things do get better for you like you know once your anxiety starts to ease a little bit and things start to feel a bit lighter please don't let her just like come running back because nobody needs a friend that's just there for you when when you're all right and will back off when you need support like that's not a friend that's a mate like there's a difference between a friend and a mate do you know what i mean i love you so much next time emma okay hey gorgeous oh hello all the way from australia oh hello how you going okay i absolutely love your pod i love you so much i recently discovered it and i listened on the way to work cleaning at the gym cooking dinner basically got you in my ears 24 7 oh that sounds like hell for

you i love you basically i'm feeling really left out with my girlfriends oh no okay i moved from the uk to oz a few years ago and really feel like i've never settled in slash been accepted into the girl groups oh no honestly it's the worst fucking feeling I keep asking to hang out see my friends and making plans but there is silence when I don't okay so they're not they're not reciprocating that energy brilliant do you have any advice on how to navigate feeling lonely and left out in your 20s I keep trying to broaden friendship groups etc but i always feel left on the side and forgotten about i'm not a drinker and i don't like a nightclub because it makes me anxious as fuck so i feel like because i'm not fun i get left out any advice will be so appreciated because i really feel not good enough and so lonely love you the most you honestly get me through every day have the most amazing week oh I love you so much I hope you have an amazing week as well all of you okay so I can definitely relate listen I

fucking hate clubbing well I don't hate it but it's just it's not for me put it that way like it's it's just not I don't enjoy it most of the time I might very rarely go do you know what I really enjoyed myself last night but I think I've spoken about it on the podcast before once I came in from a night out and spoke to my mum and I was like it was just shit like I just don't like it I sit there or I stand there on the dance floor surrounded by all these drunk people it's sweaty the music's fucking pounding through my chest it's overwhelming for me like I just I'm overwhelmed and I feel like get me out of here and she was just like maybe it's just not for you and I feel like get me out there and she was just like maybe it's just not for you and I was like oh yeah true like you don't think that that's an option you think

I'm unusual or like there's something wrong with me or like my mental health must be so bad that I can't even enjoy a fucking night out and it's just like maybe that's just not for you maybe that isn't your idea of fun maybe it's someone else's idea of fun and not yours so I would say that to you first of all like just because you don't like getting drunk and going night night clubbing oh my god what the fuck am I 70 going night clubbing that doesn't make you not fun it just means that you don't have the same idea of fun to somebody else because you I know for a fact you will definitely have your own idea of fun. Whether that be a sleepover doing skincare and watching YouTube together. Or like making TikToks together. Or playing Scrabble.

Like listen, I love a fucking game of Scrabble, okay? You might find that boring. I find it fun. I'm enjoying myself. Yeah? So does it matter? Do you know what I mean? So that's what I would say to you and also there are so many girls and guys that don't enjoy clubbing either and have the same idea as of fun

as you and don't get me wrong it's not easy to find people that you just click with and have so much in common with trust me i can't fucking find them either but i know for a fact that they exist because of you guys you guys constantly tell me i don't like clubbing either and like oh this is what i did this weekend and i'll be like oh my god sounds fucking incredible if you ask me do you know what i mean so what i would say to you is don't feel bad just because the friends that you do have are different to you and have different ideas of fun to you I would say um I think be patient and also when you move somewhere somewhere new like it's really hard to find your community of friends do you know what I mean and your support system so I really feel bad for you in that sense

because when I moved to London I had no friends there like I used to because I did shows in London I had friends who I did musicals with but we're in different phases of life when I moved back to London they loved going out and they were still some of them were still in drama school and I was just like I just like you're what the plans you're making are just they're not appealing to me at all so those friendships just fizzled out and before I knew it I was like I don't actually have any fucking friends around me in this big city and then I started working in pubs and made friends there and yeah we might not have had a lot in common but our personalities did mix well together so you know it's hard to make friends but you 1 million percent can make friends. What I would say to you is really step out of your comfort zone. So take classes like gym classes or

like Sophia and Chinsey went to pottery the other day and I watched it and I'm like, I'm fucking doing that. I am painting some bowls. Yeah. Like go to things, events anything that you think that's my idea of fun right and don't be scared to go up to someone and go hey sorry I hope you don't mind I feel really awkward I don't really know anyone here just wondered like can I hang out with you like don't feel embarrassed like I went to an event the other day and I it was like my first event with bigger creators and stuff. And I was just like, oh, like I don't fucking belong here. Like this is so awkward for me.

I feel so awkward. But like everyone I spoke to was just like, oh, no, I don't know. I feel really out of place. Like I feel awkward. And there's nothing wrong with saying that. Because being vulnerable means you're approachable. It means you're genuine. And people like that.

So if you go to like a class or an event or whatever and you're just like hey like sorry oh do you mind if i hang out with you like what's your name or blah blah blah like just make conversation be be yourself and be normal people will just be like oh of course i hang out with us like you're totally fine like i'm millie this is laura like do you know what i mean if just think if you were somewhere and a girl come up to you and was like hey sorry like do you mind if i sit with you do you think any part of you would ever turn around and go you can't sit with her you'd just be like oh my god of course like sit do you know what i mean what's your name i love your outfit blah blah like that is how we make friends in our 20s sadly and it's scary it's fucking scary okay but it feels really good when

you make these friendships like at this event i'm talking about some one of the girls came up to me and was just like oh like i've seen you on my tiktok before and i was like i'm so fucking glad you've come over to me because i i feel like a sore thumb and we we hung out all night and we've planned to go for brunch next time i'm in london and like if she didn't come up to me we wouldn't have had that friendship so it is all about just literally having the courage to just go up someone and be like hi I really like your outfit or just like hey do you mind if I sit here do you know what I mean it's really scary but you absolutely can and I think the only place you're going to find like-minded people is by going to these things that you already enjoy whether it be like

a makeup class or a spinning class or an art class do you know what I mean and just count to three right this is what I do when I'm like scared to do something I count to three and just blurt it out I'll just be like right I'm gonna walk up to her or like if I was I was stood next to someone and I'll go right I'm gonna count to three and then on three I'm gonna go hi because otherwise it's so easy to talk yourself out of it so in my head I go one two three and then on three i'm gonna go hi because otherwise it's so easy to talk yourself out of it so in my head i go one two three and i go hi how are you and it's like i've said it now i was too being late do you know what i mean and the worst thing that's gonna happen is you might have an awkward encounter with someone you brush it off and you let it go and then they're just not

gonna be friends with you and we try again and that is how you make friendships and it it does work. I promise you it works. Nothing bad's going to happen to you. Worst case scenario, it might be a bit awkward for a split second. But when I say awkward, not that awkward. It ain't going to be that fucking awkward. She ain't going to go, don't talk to me, stranger. Do you know what I mean? They might not be very chatty or they might not have much conversation. And then that's it. You should go, anyway, it was really nice to meet you. Have a really nice day. Have a really nice a really nice night whatever end off do you know what I mean and then you walk away and you go I'm so proud of myself for doing that that was right at my comfort zone I just spoke to a total stranger you know whatever it is it's really

tough but you guys can do this and I love you so Okay, let's wrap up the episode. Okay, everyone. Thank you so much. I know there isn't a confession diaries today. It's not because I've forgotten. It's just because I don't have enough confessions. Like I'm getting a lot of confessions, but they're like, a lot of them are ones we've already had.

So I don't want to just bore you and be like, oh, I peed my pants again. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm just going to hope that by next week we have some really fucking good ones. So if you don't already have a confession, you better go out and make some bad decisions this week, babe. Yeah. Anyway, I love you. Thank you for all your support. But all of you actually, not all of you, every single one of you messaged me.

I'm kidding. I had a lot of messages from the last episode on friday saying you really enjoyed the just like chatting about nothing episode on friday where it was literally just a chit chat about topics and the latest gossip and current what's it current affairs is that what they call it so like i'm i'm more than happy to do that if you guys have any topics you want to discuss, whether it be something that's going around on TikTok at the moment or controversial opinions, unpopular opinions, send me a message. Let me know what you want. And I aim to please, okay? I'll give the people what they want. But anyway, I love you. I hope you all have an amazing

week. It's almost April. That's crazy to me. Do you know what I'm pissed off about though? Fucking weather, darling. Fucking weather. I've had rain every day. Rain every day of the week. You guys know how I feel about the grey skies? Not good. Not good. Really not enjoying it. Not enjoying myself. But, oh my God, I still haven't found out where we're going for our Woucher Mystery Holiday. It's crippling. holidays it's crippling i need to know i need to know now i can't wait to tell you can everyone manifest that i'm gonna get this gorgeous place five star hotel it's just not gonna happen though is there who knows i'm not a lucky person well no lucky girl syndrome lucky girl syndrome i'm so lucky i'm so lucky everything is working out for

me but when it comes to winning and prizes and bingo for example i'm just not a winner i'm just not a born winner like when it comes to competitions giveaways raffles like anything i'm not i don't i've never won anything in my life but maybe this is going to be the the change the turning point i'm going to win the seven nights stay in the maldives although the maldives because the dates we picked a summer this summer and the maldives uh it's rain season in the summer so kind of don't want the maldives but fuck them don't mean do what i want anyway just shut up leah i love you guys so much i hope you all have an amazing week i can't wait to talk to you on friday let me know what you want to talk about we can either do one of those episodes where we talk about absolutely fucking anything

or you can give me a specific type of episode like the cheating episode, the breakup episode, the friendships episode, all the ones we've done before. We can do a part two to any of them if you enjoyed them or we can do something totally different.

Get up in my DMs. Let me know what you want. And I love you so much and I'll speak to you on friday for a brand new episode all right i love you