Leah on the Line - 59: Do I leave my boyfriend for my work colleague & how do I tell my ex I kissed his friend?

Episode Date: March 27, 2023

Hey gorgeous! Welcome back to another episode. Today we debated whether or not you think you can get the spark back in a relationship once you've lost it and it was so good to hear your stories. In the dilemmas this week, we discussed whether or not to come clean about kissing your exes friend, how to know if a guy is actually into you and whether or not to stay in your relationship when you are crushing on somebody else! Thank you so much for all the love and support you show this podcast, it would truly be nothing without you. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leah on the line happy to use there do i have a lisp okay basically i've just started a new treatment with my brand new aligners. And before I did a treatment, but it was a nighttime aligners and it didn't really work as much as I hoped. So I'm doing a whole new, what's it called? Like course, I guess. And this one is the daytime and nighttime aligners. So I have to literally wear them for 22 hours a day.

And I'm just trying to get used to it. It's not ideal if you have a podcast you know what I mean like I can't figure out how to get rid of the lisp I've had them in for five days now and I'm still just not sounding at all but then I think it's kind of cute like look you're kind of cute like do you know what I mean so sorry if I sound a little bit different or like I've got a swollen tongue I don't but um so far we're getting on okay it's been five days I've got 12 weeks hopefully if all goes to plan anyway enough about me and my teeth how are you guys miss you so much how was your weekend what did you get up to I spent the weekend in Leeds

was very cool I was a northern girl northern chick this weekend up north up north living living my best life do you know what I mean I went a bit scouse then but it was really good what did we do oh we were gonna go okay so you guys remember I was like we're gonna go and see that amazing medium remember I went to see that medium called Mick I told you all about it and he said that I was gonna have twins and stuff so we booked another appointment to go and visit him but basically I changed my mind pretty last minute because last I went to see him even even though it was amazing, right? Like it was so incredible.

It's still it really triggered me. And I didn't really realize that that was what it was at the time until afterwards. But like, I'll see you guys. I've got fear of death. So like come face to face with somebody who's like talking to dead people. I was actually like, it just put me in a bit of a scary headspace for quite a few weeks to be honest and he said to me he was like oh you need to get your like second from the back tooth looked at like you need to stop ignoring it go to the dentist and like any normal person would be

like oh cool I probably need to fill in or might need a tooth removed worst case scenario and there's me like oh my god like I'm going to die like that's his way of telling me like go to the dentist it's really serious you You're going to die. And it really triggered me for ages. And yeah, I've been in a bad headspace with my anxiety recently. So I was like, I'm going to reschedule this for normal mindset Leah. So sorry about that. But in other news, remember I said that we did the voucher mystery holiday.

We've got our location. Drum roll, please. We are going to Portugal. Portugal. We're going to Portugal. I'm over the moon with that. I'm really pleased. Okay. So we did fall into the trap of, you know, when they say like, oh, pay this and pay that and you can get this and get that right. Because I've seen a load of people on TikTok saying like, vouch mystery holidays are a fucking scam like you end up paying all this money to get all the extra shit that you need and I was like oh like we'll just pay for the holiday and we'll just take what we can get we won't buy all the extra shit and we got for £129 per person we got two nights in Portugal, flights and hotel.

Like, nice hotel, nice pool. Do you know what I mean? Right near the beach. Really nice. £129, two nights, gorgeous. To be honest, you can get one night in London for that. Do you know what I mean? So I can fly to Portugal and stay there for two nights.

So literally, same price. It made me even cheaper, if I'm being honest with you. So I was like great but like just out of curiosity like how much would it be to get an extra night or two and basically we ended up spending 100 pound more each it might have been 130 pound more actually so what we changed was we moved the months because originally he offered it us to offered it to us in September even though we actually paid for the summer months which went up to wait went up to July or June I was like I'm not sure about that I'm not actually sure about that because we actually paid because you can do 99 pound right and you can get like the winter months like September onwards

or you can pay 129 pound each and you get the summer months like april to i think june or july so we paid that even though he offered us september i thought what are you talking about what are you talking about so anyway we've got it moved to june so we're going in june and then we asked what the price would be for an extra two nights and he was like oh you can pay like this much each and you can stay for four nights and we were like oh it is worth it oh i mean like we're getting on the flight you might as well might not stay a bit longer so ends up paying 100 pound each for that stuff so at this point it's 229 pound per person for four nights in portugal which i still think is pretty fucking good you know what i mean that's how I sort of made it better in my head I was like you know it is getting a bit pricier by the minute but it's still a bargain and then as we were about to secure it we're like oh one second

my boyfriend's like what are the flight times please please hob his name is hob what the flight times please hob and hob's like oh, your flight out is at 4pm, or something like that, anyway, you land around like 9, 10pm, and we're like, okay, so we do miss the day there, we do miss the day there Hobb, but whatever, I suppose it is what it is, we'll just go straight out, you know, I can take that, when's the flight home, he's like, uh, the flight home will be 6 a.m so right so we're actually only getting two days we're actually getting two days hobb do you know where we're coming from and he's like oh yeah i totally understand let me see what other flights we can get for you and then we managed to pay another 29 pound each to get a later flight so we fly home at like 11 p.m so we land in the evening

on our first day but then we thought fuck it we'll go straight to the hotel get our kit on just go out for a nice dinner even if it's in the hotel go to the hotel bar get a bit get a bit wavy do you know what i mean and then next day you've got a pool day whatever go to the beach whatever stunning do whatever we want wells or oyster next day got a whole another full day do whatever we want wells or oyster next day we've day, got a whole nother full day, do whatever we want, Wells or Oyster. Next day, we've got the whole entire day until 11 p.m. So for,

how much, £260 each altogether, we get four nights in Portugal. I think that's pretty good and one thing I will say which is really good is when they call you, actually,

to be honest, they don't call you, you literally have to call them and chase them but when you call them and ask for your location they will give you options like he offered us Milan as well and then we were like we're after a beach holiday my boyfriend did the whole like oh you know I'm half Italian so like going to Italy is not really you know I'm not trying to do that right now I was like babe you've literally been to Italy twice in your life you

don't speak any Italian so don't even try and pull that one, okay, hun? But anyway, so we're going to Portugal, and I, well, I'll let you know when I get back what it's bloody like, stay tuned on my TikTok if you want to see our hotel and stuff, but we've looked up the hotel online, and it does look nice, like, it does, you know, it's average, but I would not expect anything major, do you know what I mean? It's like a nice hotel, the reviews are good, everyone's like, you know, it's nice, good would not expect anything major do you know what I mean it's like a nice hotel the reviews are good everyone's like you know it's nice good location nice and clean that's all I can really ask for so I'm happy I'm a happy girl and I feel like I'm living on the edge booking this kind of shit do you know what I mean like fucking hell who do you think we are so anyway we will keep you all updated with that holiday but also I really want to go on like I just can't it's just not within my budget these days but I'm dreaming of like a gorgeous luxury holiday like anybody else do you know what I mean I'm dreaming of it please let me

know if you guys are going on really nice holidays this year I'm sure loads of you have got some amazing holidays planned so please please let me know anyway I hope you've all had a really good weekend I hope you've got some good things planned for this week I hope you've all had a really good weekend. I hope you've got some good things planned for this week. I hope you're feeling positive. If not, that's okay. We can't feel positive all the time. No one's judging you. Feel the feelings, let them pass, you know. And without further ado, let's get into the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Leah on the Line. Remember to leave a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and hit the notification bell. You can send in your confessions and dilemmas to leahontheline at gmail.com and follow me on

socials at learontheline and at learovane to see visual clips of the podcast. I love you, enjoy the episode. Okay, everyone. So I hope you're comfortable. The weekly debate this week, I thought it up and I feel like it's's a good one so we have debated something a little bit similar what we did before was how do you keep the spark alight in your relationship is the saying keep the spark alight or alive I think it's alight because it's a spark you know like the fire gotta keep it alight you know but I'm getting a head shake that apparently it's alive keep the spark alive I'm sure both works to be honest with you anyway how do you keep the spark basically and today we're debating let me read how I worded it exactly okay do you think it's possible to get the spark

back in a relationship if you've lost it so i am not 100 i'll start with what i think because i'm really not sure so i'm really interested to see what you guys say so we'll finish with you because i feel like you guys are going to have a really wise especially experiences i feel like you guys are going to have really really wise experiences to to give us do you know what i mean so my thoughts are it depends how deep it is so if you class the spark as your connection like your love your romantic connection and the energy that is just like naturally there between you if that goes personally I sometimes find that's hard to get back but if it's just like oh you know like we're not going on dates or we're really arguing at the moment and we're not having much sex recently like I feel like that is

definitely that can be a phase do you know what I mean like you can go through them phases where you would say the sparks the sparks gone out because it's just like oh we're not getting on or like we're not making time for each other but if it's like that feeling I have that deep feeling of just like I just you know you're my person I'm in love with you I love being in your company like I feel like if that's genuinely genuinely gone I think sometimes that can be a bit deeper than just like oh the spark's gone like if it's like oh you know it's not really hanging out or like we're bickering loads or like he's just really annoying me or like oh she's just really snappy with me at the moment like that I feel like is definitely you can you can get you can get it

back you can come back from that but if it's a case of I just feel really different that sometimes is a bit scarier so let's have a look what you guys think so I'm truly on the fence with this one a lot of you from looking at this a lot of you are just saying straight up no like quite a lot nope nope nope but on the flip side a lot of you are saying yeah so let's have a look 100% relationships sometimes aren't easy with life and everything else but 100% that is so true like your relationship is just one part of your life so if like everything else is falling apart or even not everything but just if one thing is just really struggling in your life so if like everything else is falling apart or even not everything but just if one thing is just really struggling in your life it can be so hard to prioritize or

give the energy to the relationship that it needs do you know what i mean um yes 100 i think life can happen sometimes that stresses etc and you can neglect your partner but definitely going on dates and intentionally taking more time to be romantic. Yeah, I love that. That is absolutely true. Yes, recently had a hard few months in our relationship, but now better than ever. Yeah, okay, this is what I'm thinking. This is what I feel like. It's so normal to have like months and months sometimes of just like, we're just not getting on or like, you know, we just can't figure out what's going on with us right now. But I feel like it happens, you know. For me personally, once it's gone, it's gone no matter how hard I try to get it back.

I can definitely see how both things can happen. I do, however, from past experiences, the feeling seems to always come back. Right. So you're saying like, you know, we might think we've got the spark back for a while, but then it does go out again. Yeah, I can see that as well, to be honest. It's like the ick, you know, they say the ick always comes back, doesn't it? Again, I think it can come back temporarily, but it will go again. No, I don't think so. Once it's gone, it's gone. Here we we go this is a positive spin yes I think people really do give up too easy and it will be so worth the work in the end because this is the thing when you talk to like long-term couples that have really just smashed their way

through life together they all say like a relationship is not easy like it's just it's not easy to just like spend your life with another person and it just work do you know what I mean um oh unfortunately not we lost it and he just gave up see I feel like if you do just give up that kind of shows deep down that something was something was there for you to to want to walk away in the first place you know what I mean like there was already that sort of feeling there maybe even just a seed of doubt or whatever um I literally don't know I'm feeling like this in my five-year relationship a lot of you are saying you're feeling like it right now yes but it takes a lot of work and communication yeah you have to work together I imagine to get that spark back you have to both want it as well like it can't be a feeling of like oh it's gone out you know we're giving it a go but I think you

both have to have the mentality of like this relationship is end game for me like full stop so whatever it is we need to do we need to team up and do it together you know what I mean um yes definitely focus on each other and if it's meant to be it will be um no you can try but it will eventually fizzle out again you can't relight a match that is true you can't relight a match that is true maybe it is spark a light after all okay we've got a story here me and my boyfriend lost our spark and went through quite a rocky patch for various reasons we kept arguing about petty things and both said we could go one of two ways we either work through this together or we will end up breaking up you see this is the thing

it's the ultimatum isn't it like this how how it's going right now not working we've got two options go okay fuck it off is what it is didn't work or we pull our weight and we fix it together yeah neither of us wanted the latter so we both worked on ourselves and in turn our relationship our spark came back and we feel stronger than ever i think if you both want it and actually work together as well as working on yourselves as individuals the spark can come back we are now happier than ever and are stronger for it see that is amazing that is so good okay oh we've got a bit of a negative story here no never okay me and my ex-boyfriend were together for almost six years and the spark had long gone he came home one day and said he didn't want to be with me anymore and four months later he was engaged to the next door neighbor's

relative oh my fucking god no that's hell that's actually hell okay so i think what we've what we've learned from this is a lot of the time let's be honest I know this this is not what you want to hear if you're feeling this but a lot of the time sometimes one one of you might be feeling deep down some type of way that might lead to the end of a relationship or might lead to no more effort do you know what I mean or it can be life's difficult right now everything's hectic there's so much background noise i've neglected my relationship not purposefully but here we are let's turn this fucking shit around because you're my soulmate and it can be turned around so i just truly believe if it's meant to

be it will be like one of you said leave it in the hands of the universe you can only do what you can do you can only control what you can control and the rest is the rest is just none of nothing to stress about do you know what i mean oh that's a tough one i feel like we'll never know really i guess it is definitely situational there isn't a straight up answer to that one okay guys thank you so much love the weekly debate thank you for all your stories and sharing them with me thank you for all your opinions and let's get into some dilemmas okay guys i'm gonna kick it off with an update okay we have an update we love the updates okay everybody listen up hey leah i love you so much and you helped me so much with my previous dilemma so thank you I love you so so much okay it says I have an update and it's bad I'm gold so I'm the girl who's living with their ex at uni and my previous dilemma was whether I regretted breaking up with him as I

loved him so much it was in episode 43 if anybody didn't listen to that one I remember it very well okay so I live with my ex at uni and our best friend. Long story short, we've always found each other attractive and I knew he always wanted to be with me even when I was with my ex. Oh my goodness. You said our best friend as well. So like this is a mutual friend. You all live together. Fuck. Okay. This this boy let's call him tom has always been single and never kissed anyone etc and i thought i could help him with that i can help you with that the way i read that so seriously so when my ex was away for a week we told each other we found each other attractive and we kissed many times oh no you were his first kiss as well oh my

god ah okay after we kissed i told him that this can't go any further and we shouldn't continue doing this as it's not fair on my ex okay i instantly regretted it and i felt so guilty i know it's so bad please don't judge i'll never judge you what the heck what the heck my dilemma is do i tell my ex or not oh that's tough actually the reason i'm wondering this is because me and my ex are still hoping that we will get back together in the near future even though this might not happen as the problems that we broke up for still exist i fear that i now can't get my ex back as i kissed my best friend yeah it's like that feeling of like I don't know if it's even gonna happen but I almost feel like I've fucked it do you know what I mean

okay let's continue reading if I tell him I know oh oh no I'm right okay if I tell him I know I'll ruin my chances of getting back with him and it kills me as I still love him so much even though we broke up nine months ago now so you you've been separated for nine months so you know I'm on your side here so I feel like that kind of makes things a little bit better do you know what I mean it's not like you came straight out of this relationship and just fell into bed with with like your best friend his best friend as well do you know I mean it's been nine months okay which makes it a little bit better let's be positive but if i don't tell him a relationship will be based on a lie and i feel like i would feel so guilty throughout the relationship if i tell him while we're still

living together until july it will also just create such a negative environment and i can't deal with conflict especially not with my favorite person yeah like if you tell him like imagine how uncomfortable that's going to be for everyone in your house i mean you're only living together until july so i so far i'm thinking let's hold off till july but i'll carry on i really don't know what to do please help i feel like he's i feel like such a bad person sending you all my love and i'm proud of you taking the time off for yourself we love you bye oh my god I love you so much thanks for saying that bit at the end okay I'm definitely on your side and I'm definitely team honest I do believe in honesty as you guys know and I agree with you when you say like if you don't tell him you'll feel like you're if you do ever get back together you'll feel like that new relationship is going to be based on lies and I

feel like especially if it comes to getting back together with someone, you want it to feel fresh and new and there's no heavy negative weight that could possibly weigh you down. You want to feel like you're going into this brand new, good vibes, trust, open communication. But what I would say, I don't know what to do. Like, I'm sure there's a lot of people thinking, just tell him straight away, tell him now it's not fair. like I'm sure there's a lot of people thinking just tell him straight away tell him now it's not fair and I'm sure there's a lot of people thinking just don't tell him he never needs to know but I'm only able to give my opinion just remember that you're totally open to just totally ignore my advice I would I would never be offended and would never judge you for whatever decision you make but I personally feel like see I was just about to say what I

would do but then I mean what I the advice I was going to give you but then I try and think what would I personally do and I have such a guilty conscience that like I probably would have told him the next day because I wouldn't be able to live for myself but it's too late so anyway plan b i feel like i would probably oh i don't know actually because i was going to say maybe wait till july but then also if you're not living together it kind of takes away the chance for you to make it right and resolve it all together because i'm thinking if you just tell him now you can all sit down together and be honest about things and hopefully hopefully hopefully hopefully all forgive each other and move move on and move past it like obviously because at the end of the day it's gonna be difficult it's gonna be a very confrontational

conversation and it's not gonna be an easy one but unfortunately that is just the situation we're in here so I kind of want to change my advice and I kind of want to say tell him now because I feel like we want to move past it and we want to all be able to forgive and forget and I feel like imagine if you're not living together and then you tell him he could just decide what I never want to see you again and the same with with the guy that you kiss which is also his friend he could decide fuck you both like I never want to see you again whereas if you're living together he has to like he literally has to and then that sort of gives everybody an opportunity to resolve things so I kind of want to say let's talk about it now it's not going to be an easy conversation but I do think definitely stress the fact that you felt awful after like immediately you're like i fucked up i shouldn't have done it

and pension you know we've been broken up for nine months can i add that one in and i think the best way to own up to something like this is to just lay all your cards on the table and go look it was shit what i did was fucking shit i'm not going to defend it i'm not going to tell you why it was an okay thing to do i'm not going to tell you that you don't have the right to be annoyed at me i'm going to say you have every right what i did was shit we both hopefully he feels really shit as well like we both feel really shit for it we both feel terrible the guilt's eating me up and i couldn't look you in the eyes and not be honest with you anymore um and just say like i really hope you can forgive me and i'll do what it takes to earn

your trust back like i understand that you might not want to talk to me for a bit i do feel like if if the shoe was on the other foot i would appreciate that a lot better rather than like oh we've moved out and then he turns around to you and he's like oh yeah by the way like i kissed your mate ages ago but don't worry about it it was fucking ages ago like I think we'd all appreciate somebody sat us down and was like look I've done something really shit and I feel really horrible about it and I just want to make it right so that's kind of what I'm thinking at the moment we've just got to hold our hands up and say I fucked up really bad and I feel I feel horrible for it and I really want to earn your trust back and also you can say like you know what I am hoping

that there's a chance we can figure it out one day and get back together one day if that's right for us both but it wouldn't be fair of me to keep this from you anymore regardless of whether whether we get back together or not yeah okay well again you make your decision that's just what I'm thinking I just want you to think of it from all sort of angles and all outcomes, all possible outcomes. So yeah. Love you so much. Keep us all updated. Thanks for the update. Good luck. You got this. It's okay. It's just, it's just a few kisses. Like at least you didn't have sex with him. That would have been harder to forgive. I feel like, you know what I mean okay good luck we love you so much okay next dilemma are you ready for this one guys boyfriend of five

years or work colleague we get these ones a lot we get the work colleague ones a lot okay hey Leah been a listener since day one and I couldn't have asked for a better podcast thank you oh my god thank you I love you so much oh I love you guys okay I've been with my boyfriend for five years for reference I'm 19 and he's 20 oh my god you've been together since you were 14 that is young that's pretty crazy that's pretty crazy i mean not crazy as in like you're fucking crazy crazy as in like what that's crazy you know what i mean anyway moving on we've had our ups and downs but that's normal we got through them all okay amazing i've started a new job in december it's not something i want to do forever but it brings in good money for now there is one boy that i found attractive from the beginning but it was nothing like that as he had a girlfriend and i have a boyfriend okay that's what we think right now yeah we all got

close as a friendship group with a few others and we would all sit together and at breaks and lunches just friendly babes one night i was going out with a few other friends and i messaged someone from work as they were out and asked where they were. We met up and had a few drinks together and from that night something clicked. I never felt a connection like it before. The eye contact. Oh god it's all in the eyes. We couldn't keep our eyes off each other. We would sit in silence and just look into each other's eyes like something out of a movie. Oh my goodness just talking to each other through your eyes okay we added each other on snap and as a joke i said it would be nice to get a lift off you to work in the morning he agreed and comes monday morning he picked me up oh god we were chatting away for ages like we

knew each other for so long a couple weeks go by we get closer and it becomes really flirty I told him I fancied him and he told me he fancied me oh my god you're in a relationship and you've told him you fancy him that's crazy okay I'm nervous for you he was in a four-year relationship okay so you're both in long-term relationships oh and he cut it off as he wanted to see where things would go between us and he was in he was unhappy in his relationship prior to meeting me so he's ended his relationship because he likes you that much i mean that's probably the right thing to do from him to be fair we had a kiss and i haven't told my boyfriend about this oh wait i've just fucking read that really casually what you had a kiss i didn't actually listen to myself as

i was reading then we had a kiss you cheated on your boyfriend we had a kiss okay don't worry don't worry we're in this together we're gonna this together. We're going to get you through this. We had a kiss and I haven't told my boyfriend about this as I'm unsure on what to do. My head was all over the place and I decided to go on a break with my boyfriend, but it was hard as I live with him. Jesus. So you're on a break, but like you're living together. Okay. A couple days go by and my boyfriend asked me if there was someone else see sometimes you just know don't you you just know i couldn't lie okay good for you good for you i love you for the honesty i couldn't lie and had to tell him i never mentioned the kiss as i couldn't break his heart even more i do understand that to be fair one day we were on a break I went to the boy's house from work

and we cuddled all day and night it was so special after one night I felt like we've been together for years I can't help but have those feelings towards this boy I decided to cut things off with the boy from work and give my boyfriend a proper chance to see if I do still love him oh my god on the other side I have that boy in my head 24 7 that's not good babe oh the question is what do I do do I ride it out of my boyfriend see if we can get through this or do I cut it off now and see what the future holds for me and the boyfriend work sorry for the long message love the pod hope to hear from you love you bye oh god babe got yourself in the right pickle here honey got yourself in the right pickle okay like i said i'll never tell you what to do everything i say is just an opinion take a pinch of salt yeah what i'm gonna say to you is your poor boyfriend i think the right thing for

you to do i can never tell you what the right thing to do is okay you need to decide what's best for you right now but what i will say is there shouldn't be another person in your head 24 7 period like full stop like that actually shouldn't be um and i think that sort of means something so you could end your relationship with your boyfriend and just have some space from all of it and just see where your head is at when you don't have them both in front of you and just think right what the fuck is going on what does all this mean and first of all don't get stressed okay everything's gonna be fine like you have to remember no matter what the outcome you'll be able to get through it do you know what i mean like you have the strength, no matter what the outcome, you'll be able to get through it. Do you know what I mean? Like you have the strength. Do not worry.

So I would personally suggest, I wouldn't say a break. Like we did the break and you went cuddling another boy. So what I would say is, it's just an option. It's just an option. You could end your relationship. It's just an option. You could end the relationship. Take some time away from work colleague away from boyf and just worry about you for a bit focus on you

and you might decide i don't actually want either of them do you know what i mean i don't actually i just kind of want to be on my own for a bit you know you've been in a relationship since you were 14 and one thing i will also add it's like don't stress and don't worry if you've reached 19 and realize the person that you were with at 14 isn't the person you want to be with anymore totally normal do you know what I mean like from 14 to 19 you're a totally different person you're an adult now you were a kid when you met so I wouldn't worry um and I would I would just take some time, you know, you're 19, you're fresh into adolescence. Let's just see what life is about. You know, let's just see how you, how you feel away from, from looking at them and being in their company and the pressure of what's, what to do and what's

the right thing to do. Because if you're meant to be with the boy you will you will find your way together but right now like something just isn't right you've got somebody else on your mind you've got these doubts you know you've made a mistake you've got this secret I feel like it would be good for you to just take a breather just just worry about you, focus on you. And if you're meant to be with the work colleague, it will happen. If you're meant to be with your boyfriend, it will happen. And if you're meant to be with somebody totally different, it will happen. And I just think it can, it's probably really consuming right now. But that's just an option. Another option would be to stay in your relationship and hopefully forget

about this boy and hopefully you and your boyfriend will move past this and it's just a little blip um you know it's up to you if you ever want to come clean with the secret of kissing somebody else I can never tell you what to do there but I think maybe just try and think if the shoe was on the other foot and it was your boyfriend experiencing this, what would you like him to do? Because I know for a fact that if this was me and if I was your boyfriend, I would just be like, just leave me. Like, I don't want to be, I don't want the secrets first of all, but also I don't want to be an option. But then also if you have picked him, maybe this was just a mistake. So it's difficult.

I think you're going to have to make this decision for you and for you only. And not because what you think is the right thing to do or what people would expect you to do or what was going to make anybody else happy. You've got to make this decision for you at the end of the day. And I will support you all the way um yeah i love you so much take you know don't rush into it take take take some time and um yeah i love you so much you're not alone i got you babe all right next dilemma okay this one says hey leah i'm such a huge fan of the pod and i've listened to wait oh and have listened since the very start thank you i love you so much i feel like this might be a long dilemma and a bit all over the place but here goes okay we got time it's okay i recently got

out of an eight-year relationship with my high school sweetheart wow we were together from the age of 14 and we've essentially grown up together i will always have love for him however we grew apart and i personally realized that i didn't want to carry on living the life i had when i knew i wasn't 100 happy good for you to be honest i love you i'm proud of you okay it wasn't an easy decision at all but i knew that i wanted to be happy and live life instead of always thinking what if 100 you only have one life babe I think you did the right thing I do feel now that it was a long time coming and I knew deep in my heart that this relationship wasn't going to last forever okay good for you I'm proud of you it's been four months since we broke up and although there's the

occasional day of mourning the relationship most of my days are now filled with excitement for the future and knowing I made the right decision oh good I'm happy for you so my situation right now is there's been a boy at work god there's always the guys at work that have sorry there's been a boy at work that's caught my eye let's call him Luke I've briefly heard of Luke as he lives around my area but I've never had any sort of dealings with him i realized he worked in my office a few months back where we had a brief conversation of knowing each other from mutuals and then we and from then we start to say hello around the office this initially happened when i was in my relationship so even though i thought he was attractive and charming nothing obviously had come from it it wasn't until there were a

few encounters with luke that i started seeing him in another light i bumped into him in the office a couple of weeks back and we exchanged the usual hello how are you etc but it felt different there was so much intense eye contact and even the way we spoke to each other was flirty he made me feel giddy and excited and i felt there was some sort of sexual chemistry slash attraction there. Within half an hour he sent me a follow request on Instagram. Okay so he clearly is feeling that vibe as well. He's feeling it as well for sure. I found on I found on his Instagram that he's into the things I like and he is a really active and adventurous person. He likes to travel and I was instantly attracted to his lifestyle. This made him 100 times more attractive to me than I initially thought, which was quite a lot anyway.

So we weren't really fancying this guy. We've got major crush vibes. Fast forward a week and he replied to one of my Instagram stories, making conversation with me. Ah, a classic. A classic. The conversation was brief and lasted over the course of a few days with a bit of flirting involved but i soon ended the conversation by politely reacting to his message and leaving it there as i felt he wasn't really asking questions anymore and i didn't want to be the mug by carrying on the conversation when he wasn't interested okay yeah i love that from you

love that from you keep it cool and cash i also felt a bit of guilt for speaking to someone new a few months after my breakup so i thought it was best to end the conversation there for now fast forward a few days i saw him in the office and built the courage to walk over to him and have a conversation i was filled with butterflies but wanted to seem confident so took the opportunity he was stood with someone so it wasn't too in depth but, but again, it was quite flirty. I messaged him referencing something we had discussed in the office, but it took him 10 whole hours to reply. Okay, not great. Not great from you. Not great from Luke. Okay, I instantly thought, what the fuck? Red flag. But it gave him the benefit of the doubt, as it was through the working day.

I distanced myself and haven't messaged since, but course exchanged the usual hello and flat AI contact this weekend he sent me a picture of him and my colleague on a night out I replied with something brief just to acknowledge the picture and then the conversation has carried on from there there's only been a couple messages each day from us both but the conversation has kept going he just takes hours and hours to reply and i can see that he's active and posting on his social media then i'm thinking that he doesn't really want to speak to me i'm currently waiting for him to respond to a message i sent yesterday hmm i've also felt that sometimes i'd be i'd text something a bit flirty but he wouldn't really give me the same energy back not like he did to begin with anyway he just love heart reacts the message i know that i've over romanticized luke in my head

to everything i want in someone when essentially i don't even really know him i think i just need some advice about this whole situation as i've kept this really quiet and not told any of my friends which is why i think i've got something in my head about it i don't want to be judged for speaking to someone just a few months after my breakup even though it's been such a brief conversation. I know it's nothing serious because it's only exchanging a few messages but I don't know what's the right thing to do after a breakup. I also don't have any siblings so I just kept this to myself which is why I'm coming to you for a bit of guidance as a big sis. Is it too soon to speak to new boys a few months after my breakup? Do you think that he's interested in me and why does he like to leave me on delivered for hours on end when he's managing to be active on socials?

I've also then found myself leaving him on delivered for a couple hours but never as long as what he does to me. I don't want to be playing these silly games but I also don't want to look really keen and respond to his messages a lot quicker than he does for me. I don't actually know what i want from this i just find it a bit of fun and new excitement i've not had before i'm finding it hard to navigate my way through all of this i'm trying to remind myself to see it for what it is basically just a bit of a flirt with the boy i find attractive but i'm overthinking it all in my head it's all so new to me so i would love any advice you have even if this doesn't make make it to the pod your wise words will be a huge help love you bye okay that is tough because we don't really know where we stand with this boy let's be honest like i feel like you definitely fancy me do you want me like you fancy me we're flirting

yeah it's back and forth it's all flirty about now you're following me you're chatting me up on insta you did he ask for your snap or was that was that the last dilemma i think that was a lot anyway you're chatting each other up and i feel like the fancy and thing is definitely mutual i feel like you don't make that up in your head like most of the time when you feel a vibe it's usually mutual do you know what i mean i'm feeling it you're feeling it we fucking fancy each other i mean let's cut to the chase yeah what i also will want to say also i want to say is you being worried about it being too soon after your breakup it's been a few months if it feels ready and you feel right that is your answer do you know what i mean like who else gets to decide that only you know when you're ready like who why is that anybody else's

choice or decision do you know what i mean ready like who why is it anybody else's choice or decision do you know what i mean so first of all i think let go of that don't ever let that hold you back if you feel like you've let go of your past relationship if you feel like you've processed that breakup and if you genuinely are interested in somebody else that's it there's your answer i wouldn't worry at all about what anyone else thinks people come out of relationships and they're chatting to someone the next day. Do you know what I mean? It's just normal.

I wouldn't worry at all. But it's tough to know where we stand with this guy because some people, they're not quick replyers. They will just take ages and ages. And I also will add that like you said, it's really casual right now. The conversation's minor. It's not that deep.

You haven't actually gone on a date or anything anything so we've got to be honest about the fact that he doesn't really like you like you like you and it's not until I think you really like someone when you you'll start getting the quick replies and stuff when they're like genuinely really into you because at the moment it's just a fancier do you know what I mean and I feel like if you went on a date or something maybe you'd like to think the replies would speed up because he just naturally would be more into you and he'd know you a bit better you'd have more to talk about so part of me wants you to just fucking ask him on a date like honestly some of you might be listening to this thinking Leah what the fuck are you serious because I just think right

it's not that deep like they fancy each other you know you're walking past each other it's a little bit of flirt a little bit of eye contact it's good vibes so I think it's sexy if you literally have the balls to be like so like are we gonna go out for a drink or we're just gonna keep saying hello every time we walk past each other do you know what I mean like are we just gonna keep flirting with each other or are we actually gonna go out like I think a date would be great on the cards for you two right now I think it'd be so fun and also like in the phase that you are coming out of your last relationship I think it'd be good for you you know if you feel ready I think it'd be really good for you even if it doesn't go anywhere with you and this guy from work like amazing you've gone on a date good for you it's

the first step back into the dating world good experience bad experience everything you can always learn from it you know and I just think the worst case scenario is to be honest would he even shut you down like why are you flirting with me and messaging me if you don't fancy me just a little bit it could be that he might be talking to other people maybe that's why he's a bit slow he might be seeing someone i don't really know but you won't know until you have these kind of conversations so fuck it i feel like just ask and just have this like you know if you feel brave enough and confident enough i would ask on a date why not is that is that really stupid of me to say that like is everyone listening like no leah are you fucking serious don't do that i don't know i feel like you you sense the vibes and if you feel like

you could it doesn't have to be like a really like um so can i take you out like you can just next time you're flirting just throw it in there like are we gonna go out for a fucking drink or what babe do you mean like it's what is this you're just gonna keep reacting to my stories or are we actually gonna go out and get pissed have a good time whatever it is you want to do together do you know what i mean do a bit bowling whatever it is like hang out spend a bit more time together i don't know i just feel like it'll be fun and even if even if it goes nowhere i feel like it would be good for you so yeah it's an option just putting out there however that makes you feel there's your answer like if you hear me say ask him on a date it doesn't have to be that deep remember you don't have to say we're gonna date me but

if you hear me say like go on a date with him or just hang out with him and makes you go like oh no no no no then there's your answer like you let's not do that but if it makes you like a little bit a little bit butterflies i'm excited oh maybe i could go out with him oh could be fun could be fun so let me know keep us all updated sorry if that was really stupid advice i'm just a big believer of shoot your shot because like worst case scenarios they say no and then fuck it i mean i'm still i'm still a stunner babe that's what you gotta say to him no i'm okay thanks oh well plenty more fish in the sea for me do you know what i mean all right i love you so much and guys it's been a while but i hope you're ready i'm ready

let's get into the confession diaries okay everyone welcome to the confession diaries it's been a while it's been a while since we've had some confessions i did mention in the recent episode that i really need some new ones so thank you so much to you guys who went typing away sending me all your confessions they are juicy and i'm enjoying them so without further ado let's just dive straight in shall we first one i kiss my ex's best friend many times and i regret it so much did you kiss your ex's friend when you were with your ex or after oh well do you know what i mean it's done now it's too late let's not feel bad about it i'm such a hypocrite because like if somebody wrote in

a dilemma saying that like your boyfriend or girlfriend had done this to you i'd be like oh my fucking god you deserve so much better like but when it's you guys that are doing it i'm like that's okay what are friends for right we just validate each other's each other's poor decisions okay here's another poo one it's been a while since we had a poo confession okay i did a poo in my works toilet it was floating and wouldn't flush after trying to flush the toilet several times i had to stick my hand in scoop scoop it out, wrap it in toilet roll and put it in the sanitary bin. This was three weeks ago. The toilet stinks and everyone is wondering what the smell is, lol.

My one and only question, because I feel like what you did in that situation is fine. I feel like what else can you do? Personally, I probably would have left it in the toilet. I just put a bit of tissue on it and walked out and just been like, then I would have walked back and gone, who's left left it in the toilet i just like put a bit of tissue on it and walk down and just been like then i would have walked back and gone who's left a shit in the toilet so one of these left a shit in the toilet and pretended it wasn't me but if that wasn't an option like if there was a if there if it was like everyone's gonna know it was me for some reason i probably would have done what you did but i would change the fucking bin like why has

nobody changed the sanitary bin in three weeks that's what i don't understand i don't understand that why has nobody changed that bin it's been three weeks do we not have anybody in charge of cleaning the toilets because surely i don't know about that one. Thanks for sharing though. I love it. Okay. I recently went back after a drunken night out with the boy. I was on my period and had a tampon in. I went to take it out before we got down to business, but he had no bin in his bathroom. Fucking classic. It's so annoying when you go around a boy's house, they don't have bins in their bathroom. When I used to stay at my boyfriend's house, I used to have to get a carrier bag to keep in his fucking bathroom when i was on my period get a bin please anyway we haven't got to the confession yet so i took the tampon out

unscrewed his hair shampoo bottle and put it in there i left the next morning i wonder if you ever found out wait a minute because i'll actually be sick so he is squeezing shampoo out of that bottle washing his hair with it and he has no idea that you've got a bloody tampon inside oh my god like was it an empty bottle was there shampoo in it like is he using that fucking shampoo and he doesn't realize he's washing his hair with your period blood oh my god that is so good that is a fucking good confession i love that i love that so much okay next one i sit and read sex stories when i'm bored it gives me a serotonin boost fucking love it love that send me them

okay i sometimes give my boyfriend out of date ham and his wraps if he's pissed me off soz hun wait do we just store a packet of out of date ham for a rainy day like there's he's like cleaning out the fridge like oh this ham's out of date i'll chuck that no no no it's fine just leave that just i'll eat it i'll just leave that i'll send you lunch tomorrow darling that's mean you can literally give him a bad stomach okay i slept with my manager three years later i'm pregnant we have a house and a dog together oh that's kind of a romantic ending what do i mean kind of it is a romantic end and i love that i love it is he still your manager though because fuck that i'm sorry my boyfriend is not going to tell me what to do um i slept with my ex's best friend and he found out he cheated on me so it felt good we have a lot of the revenge cheating revenge sleep with our best friend

we get a lot of them okay um oh my god let's finish with this one guys six years ago i was 17 and gave my teacher a blow job at a farm we had to do work experience at and i had a boyfriend lol oh my god okay the boyfriend not great but the giving the teacher a bj love it i love that love it from you you guys know how i felt a little teacher thing yeah this is naughty honestly the fantasies i had at uni never came true i've spoken about the uni fantasies but anyway i'm glad you lived it out for one of us love it for you shame about the boyfriend shame about the boyfriend but never mind it's 60 years ago live and learn yeah all right guys love you so much let's wrap up the episode okay everyone thank you so much for listening to this episode i hope you all enjoyed it it was good

to get the confession diaries back hey really enjoyed that who is watching married at first sight australia because you guys know i've told you about the website b flicks you can get the entire fucking season on there babe you can just go steaming ahead because we're so behind in the uk it's finished it's literally finished in australia we can watch the whole thing i'm like three episodes ahead and i will be steaming ahead so keep up okay because i will be binge watching it okay i will talk from where you guys are up to if you're if you're not watching it sorry this might be really boring you might want to skip this part but it is about to take a fucking turn okay you think you know who the good ones are no it's about to take a real turn and it's fucking amazing it is amazing i've seen harrison went on

um ella and dom's podcast sit with us i think it's called or you can sit with us sit with us i think it's called or you can sit with us and interesting interesting from harrison but yeah just letting you know bflix best website ever you can literally get everything on there films that like bang out in cinema it's probably not good for me to promote that to be honest anyway i love you guys i hope you'll have the best week what episode should we do on friday you guys loved the quiz you absolutely loved it i loved it it was so fun we would definitely do a part two to the quiz see how smart we all are after the first one i feel like i feel like it really expanded our brain it really expanded our knowledge do you know what i mean so yeah let me know what you guys want on friday we will do

anything you want to send them my way and thank you so much to everyone that sent me um weekly debate ideas and friday episode ideas and just things to discuss in the podcast i've had quite a few recently so thank you i love that you guys getting your brains ticking for leo on the line it means a lot so yeah i love you all so much i hope you have the best week and i will speak to you on friday for a brand new episode all right i love you