Leah on the Line - 63: My best friend has asked me not to get pregnant & I slept with someone who is ENGAGED!

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

Hey babe! Welcome back to a brand new episode of Leah on the Line. The weekly debate was inspired by one of our dilemmas and we discussed what you would do if you slept with someone and then found out they were engaged!! The dilemmas this week were some of my favourites for a while. Her best friend asked her to PROMISE not to get pregnant because she doesn't want pregnant brides maids?! Thank you so so much for all the love and support on Leah on the Line, it truly means more to me than you'll ever know. I love every single one of you so so much. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of lear on the line happy to you say i don't even know what fucking day it is. Sorry if I'm really quiet. I'm having to be quiet at the moment. So let's crank up the volume. I'll try and turn it up in post, in post production. Basically, I'm going through some stuff. I'm going through some stuff right now. This is genuinely really difficult because it's not something I'm willing to talk about online, what is happening in my life right now. But I will say it has really got me back in touch with my spirituality I got the tarot cards out last night for a bit of guidance I recharged my crystals I do want to get a sound bowl which is something I've recently discovered

but I just played one on YouTube and she charged them for me which was pleasant but yeah I'm really trying to stay strong for you all today but I can tell you for free there are tears in my eyes no there's not currently but there have been but this is not what this episode is going to be okay it's not going to be negative I've put my headphones on I've picked up the mic and we we turn up we turn up the positivity for Lear on the Line because we are here to make people feel good okay but I just kind of you guys know I can't pretend okay when things are difficult when I'm going through shit we just gotta we gotta be honest with each other we gotta open up we gotta talk to each other and that is what I'm doing um I'm not like I've not been broken up with or anything everything's

fine I'm just I can't even talk about it so let's just move on I just wanted to express it to you guys if anyone else is going through some shit right now, I love you. Big hugs. We got this. Whatever's meant for you will never pass you by. The universe always knows what it's doing. I'd love to know what the fuck it is doing with my life right now. Got a couple of questions, but we move. Anyway, love you guys. How are you? Hope you guys had a really good weekend.

What did you guys get up to? Let me know. Send me a DM. I know send me a dm i'll send it a bit australian then i have completed maths um i did skip ahead and watch the reunion do you know what i've realized right the fucking episodes are an hour long yeah because they show you the same clip 50 times i could tell you the script i could tell you i could relay an entire conversation between bronte and harrison because i've watched it 10 times I could tell you, I could relay an entire conversation between Bronte and Harrison because I've watched it 10 times. I could tell you exactly what they say on that couch. Yeah.

Our next couple on the couch, Bronte and Harrison. Bronte, do you feel like Harrison's manipulating um no i don't my boyfriend actually does a really good impression of cam he's actually very good at it anyway i hope this isn't annoyingly quiet maybe this will be a relaxing episode everyone yeah light some candles let's relax maybe get in the bath get a bit naked anyway anyone else just like laughing, they're going through trauma. I'm either crying or like laughing. Honestly, I might redo this intro. It's a bit dark and depressing. Nah, everything's fine.

No, I'm honestly okay. I'm not. Oh my God. Hey, good news. My therapy starts on the 1st of june oh shut up let's get into the episode thank you so much for listening to leah on the line remember to leave a rating on apple podcast and spotify and hit the notification bell you can send in your confessions and dilemmas to leah on the line at gmail.com and follow me on socials

at leah on the line and at leah levain to see visual clips of the podcast i love you enjoy the episode okay everyone buckle up we have an interesting weekly debate today so it is based off one of our dilemmas you will be surprised to hear and i'm very excited to get into this dilemma because it's fucking juicy okay let me you, the weekly debate this week is, if you slept with someone and then found out that they were engaged, what would you do? Could you actually imagine that? Could you actually imagine? I mean, it's definitely happened. It's probably happened to a few of you guys listening. It's definitely a thing. I mean, people are fucking cheaters aren't they not all of them but there are some cheaters out there engaged or not they will be cheating cheating um let's let's have a look at your responses i i imagine you guys are all tell the fiance you know personally

i get both sides but let's have a a look what side you guys are on. Tell the girl ASAP you can't marry a cheater. Yeah, this is the thing. It's like you kind of want her to know before she ties the knot. Do you know what I mean? Tell the person because they deserve to know their partner is a liar and a cheater. Facts. I would have to tell the fiance.

Oh, I would keep myself to myself. It's problem not mine yeah i get you it's shit but also it's literally not your problem tell the poor fiance someone says oh my gosh this happened to me they lied about everything and had two lives one with me and one with her oh god i wish i could shout right now oh my goodness okay cry somebody says but seriously confront him about it and 100% apologize to the fiance and explain you had no clue oh yeah this is the thing like you'd have so much guilt because you'd feel responsible for someone else's pain even though you had no idea you know what i mean? Someone says ghost. Yeah. I would never see them again and run away quickly. Someone says I would 100% tell the other person it's not fair for them to commit and marry someone not knowing. It's true. It is true. Someone says I would just run for the fucking hills.

Someone says I'd probably just die of guilt to be honest. Oh, the guilt would actually eat you up, wouldn't it? Block, delete, don't get involved. be honest oh the guilt would actually eat you up wouldn't it block delete don't get involved no point telling the fiance you'll just end up being the homewrecker yeah but then I think I'm happy to be the homewrecker in that case I had no fucking idea if I had an idea wouldn't bloody happen let me tell you that for free but he he would still be a cheater whether he's had sex with me or not your fiance is still a pig okay because he was willing to the only reason he didn't it's because I said no you're married I mean getting married but I don't care if she turned around and was like you you're a fucking

homewrecking bitch can't believe you slept with my husband I'm okay with that like honestly I've done the right thing in my eyes I've told you I could I couldn't sleep at night on that information do you guys know what I mean I genuinely don't think I could um I would say you tell her or I do yeah I would tell the other woman I would tell them to be honest with their partner or I would be or I would be marriage is a huge thing 100% and also you just think like is this a common occurrence for you like you just go around having sex with people when you're getting married do you know what I mean I would never speak to him again I'd block him on everything and then remove myself from the situation honestly just walk away and block I know she deserves to know but sometimes you need to leave the drama for your own good and let her work it out for herself herself oh I do understand that I do let's talk about that because I think sometimes when you find out that sort of information

you go into fight or flight and I totally understand why you would just run for your life and be like oh my fucking god I've slept with someone's fiance and you would feel like you've done something really wrong and you would feel really guilty so you'd want to run away and then in your eyes the situation goes away because it does go away for you but there is another woman involved or man involved where this is not going to go away for them do you know what I mean so I do understand that mentality I actually really do but my perspective is you tell I'm telling the fiance without a doubt in my mind and I wouldn't even say like you tell her I do like he's not gonna fucking tell her

do you know what I mean I would tell her you know maybe I would say you tell her or I do but how are you gonna know if he actually has or not that's a tough one I would just say look you're fucking gross like I can't believe you've had sex with me and now I'm finding out you've got a fiance that's disgusting I'm gonna go and tell her right now and if he wants to he can run and get that news to her before I can but she's still going to hear it twice because I'm still going to make sure she knows by telling her maybe a second time if she's already heard maybe I'll go in with hey I'm not sure if you've spoken to him yet but if you're confused I do have something I need to tell you do you know what I mean so yeah it's a split but looking at the answers, most of you are on the side of, I'm telling, I'm telling the poor

fiance. So yeah, babes, I love you and I get it. All right, let's get into some dilemmas. okay everyone so let's actually get straight in with the one that inspired the weekly debate I love you babe let's read her out it says I found out he's engaged okay here we go hi Leah first of all I love your podcast I love your vibe and I really relate to your mental health chats I love you loads oh I love you so much I'm kind of sad you relate to the mental health chats to be honest but also happy that I'm not alone I love you okay I have a huge dilemma and I feel terrible for context I work at a big company on a temporary contract I'm there for a year and I'm lucky enough to get to travel around the world, meeting lots of new colleagues. There's about 100,000 at the company, so it's a huge place. I traveled last week with a manager and another team. He's 32 and I'm 23. I've never met him in

person before, but I always thought he was fit. But we were in a big group in a professional setting, so I never thought anything would happen. Plus, he's a manager of the whole of the whole of the whole of Europe. Okay we've got a double of the whole there that's okay. Anyway okay CEO. Okay big balls do you know what I mean? However we were sat in the hotel bar one night drinking and eventually people started going to bed. I felt him watching me all night but he's very serious and professional so I kind of just brushed it off. Eventually we were the only ones left at 1am. Oh boy, oh boy. And we were both very drunk at this point. We stayed speaking for hours and I loved it. The spark was just there and we got

along so well and were obviously also very attracted to each other one thing led to another and i woke up in his bed the whole night was just electric we cuddled the whole time and he was very sweet and caring kissing my forehead and telling me how great he thought i was wow no regrets from him hey we messed around the entire next day he was due to travel home that evening so he didn't have a hotel room so i snuck him into mine and we slept together for hours again it was amazing okay so this guy who we are assuming at this point from the title is engaged he is not only taking you back to his hotel room and had sex with you. He's continued fooling around with you the next day. Gone into your hotel room and had sex with you again. Double affair. Okay. After this, we have our dinner with the rest of the team before he was due to leave.

You guys just fucking wait for this. Okay. Whilst eating, one of our colleagues turns to him and goes, so how's the wedding planning going oh my god I bet your face was a fucking picture babe could you imagine guys you've just had sex with this guy twice might I add and then someone goes how's the wedding planning going mate oh my god I would want the ground to swallow me up. It turns out this man is getting married in two months. Oh my God, he's about to commit. I mean, you should already be committed at this point, darling. Do you know what I mean? He pulled me aside and apologized for not telling me. Don't apologize to me, babe.

You better apologize to your fiance fiance i was obviously fuming but i told him it was his problem and i can't go back in time and change anything but i'm obviously gobsmacked yeah good for you yeah i'm fucking pissed off but fuck off that's your problem yeah my dilemma is that i have three more trips with him left and one of them is alone with him while i'll be his personal assistant taking notes for him and attending all his meetings dinners etc we'll be staying in the same hotel i'm super nervous and i feel a bit sick but i also can't help but feel the attraction for him the chemistry was just unreal what do i do you you do not have sex with this man again okay little lady yeah listen to me listen to me loud and clear we're not having sex that man again there is a fiance a poor fiance

involved here and when you think about her okay i understand if you don't want to deliver that news to her especially because you kind of work for him, especially on this occasion, taking his fucking notes. Basically, you're his PA. His little PA, yeah, babe. We all know what happens with a PA. But I totally get why you don't want to, you know, cross that line and tell his fiance. I mean, the line was probably already crossed when his penis was in your vagina but um here we are you know this is the situation we're in and i'm telling you as a best friend if you sleep with him i'm gonna be really angry with you forget about how electric it felt in the chemistry he's a piece of shit he's a piece of shit and even if you're just thinking yeah but i don't care like I just want to have sex with him because the sex was good we have to be less selfish and think about this other fiancee okay we have to this guy is really hurting somebody by doing this and you you are better than

that you know I know you set the attraction no no no no we need to look at him and think ew dirty lying cheat you are unattractive yuck yeah I love the story though what an amazing story I love you and I'm sorry if you were hurt in this like I don't know you haven't really mentioned how it's made you feel apart from angry but i would feel hurt by that and i'd feel i'd be offended by that like you're taking the piss out of me do you know what i mean so yeah sending you a bit of love babe i hope you're okay um don't sleep with him again okay i love you so much next dilemma guys another fucking good one another crazy one some good dilemmas this week keep them coming okay i love the titles by the way these some of these have titles i really they really catch my eye in the inbox i really enjoy them okay my friend asked me

to hold off having kids because she doesn't want pregnant bridesmaids. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Your friend's a lunatic. She is a lunatic. That is fucking insane to me. Okay, let's get into it. Hey, Leah, listening to the friendship dilemmas made me think of a recent situation I had with a close friend. Let's call her Georgia Georgia she has always been competitive with me about things like cars jobs and appearances she wants to always have more than me we spoke about the competitive friends didn't we competitive was one of them words I struggle with because naturally I don't pronounce my t's say more with identity because naturally I want to say competitive yeah but I sound like there's something wrong with me

competitive identity identity do you know what I mean anyway back to you recently she asked if I planned on having kids soon as I'm getting married in six months and hoping to try for kids after that gorgeous congratulations okay she doesn't know I want to try so soon georgia is a little older than our friendship group and she's hoping for a proposal from her boyfriend soon wait so you're engaged wait you're getting married in six months georgia's not even engaged and she's saying don't get pregnant just in case wow okay she's asked me to promise not to be pregnant for her wedding in 2024. Wait. So she's already decided she's getting married next year, but she's not even engaged. What? Have I read this wrong? Okay. She's hoping for a proposal

from her boyfriend soon. She's asked me to promise not to be pregnant for her wedding in 2024 this girl's really got it figured out okay as she doesn't want pregnant bridesmaids okay why can i just ask why i think that's beautiful like if i was getting married or like put it this way say my best friend's getting married and i'm a bridesmaid and in all these pictures i'm pregnant like we would both look back at that and be like oh that was a little baby blah blah blah on my belly then oh that's so crazy you wouldn't be like folks were in my fucking pictures your stupid belly in the way do you know what i mean i don't understand why she doesn't want pregnant bridesmaids well i do i think she's jealous she wants to be she wants to beat you

to it i think this comes from her self-consciousness about how all of her friends are getting married and are seen as ahead in life yeah i agree with you she wants us to all to try for kids at the same time well it's honestly not that easy i said i wasn't planning on it as i panicked but i don't want to be i don't want to hold off having kids because of her potential wedding next year that's not even booked yet yeah i'm worried she won't ask me to be a bridesmaid if i'm pregnant and won't be happy for me because it might impact her big day do you have any advice love you lots i love you so much i'm so confused why you being pregnant will impact her big day do you have any advice love you lots i love you so much i'm so confused why you being pregnant will impact her big day anyone else but lost there like you lost me there

georgia if my best friend said to me leah you just promise me right now you're not gonna get pregnant because i might i might get married next year are you you engaged? No. That's besides the point. I might get married next year. I'm not having no baby bumps at the wedding. All right. I'd be like, have you bumped your head? Like, is there, do you, do you need like support here? Like what is going on why would me having a baby in my belly impact your big day whatsoever i get it if she's like well you know you're the life of the party baby you don't even be able to drink but other than that i can't imagine how that makes any sense i If that was me, I'd turn around and I'd just be like, no, I cannot make that promise. That's weird. It's very strange, babe. Do you know what I mean? Surely I'm not the only one that thinks that's weird. I don't, I'm sure you, you guys agree with me. Come on. If that was the weekly debate, you guys would think, what's the matter with you,

Leah? How are we debating this surely is there anyone listening that thinks no I totally see Georgia's point of view listen I get the whole like when you feel in competition and and you feel like you're behind in life and people your age or people in your circle are ahead I get that it's a shit feeling but to say to somebody, don't get ahead of me, it's a bit odd. Especially when it comes to babies. If you're lucky enough to have that ability to have a baby. I'm sorry, Georgia. It's actually got nothing to do with you and your wedding.

Oh my God, that's cracking me up. Love you, Georgia, baby. But come on. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, my advice is if you want to have a baby, you just try. And if you fall pregnant, you fall pregnant. And Georgia's going to have to suck it up. And if it bothers her that much to the point where she doesn't want you to be a bridesmaid,

I would not want to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. Like, if you fall pregnant, that is an absolute miracle yeah you you reap that you soak it up this is amazing do not let georgia make you feel like that was selfish of you oh right love you next dilemma hi leah i have a really big problem one of my friends is dating this guy and i couldn't be happier for her however i've recently found out that he has done some awful things to one of my other friends he's an all-round dodgy guy that doesn't really have a good track record with girls i'm not sure whether i can tell her this information or to keep it to myself. I don't want her to get hurt but she seems really happy with him. I hope he's changed and wouldn't do anything like this but I'm scared I'm doing the wrong thing. It's her first relationship and I don't want to say anything to ruin this for her but I feel like it's too big of a red flag to

ignore. I'd love to know what it is. Oh my goodness. goodness sorry really not sure what i should do here and i've been trying to figure out if and when i should tell her it never seems like the right time to tell someone their boyfriend is very odd and i don't want to lose a friend over it so any advice would be very helpful sorry it's a long one just needed some help love you and the pod love you so much so I think you've got to tell her a hundred hundred percent and listen she probably will ignore you she probably will I was warned about a guy I heard through a friend of a friend that knew his ex-girlfriend and was like you know red flag run for your life and I was like no babe not gonna be me and it was me but listen I wouldn't have listened but at least the friend that told me that did all she could to warn me at the time and listen like I said she's probably gonna she's probably gonna

listen to you because you you have your roseed glasses, as they like to say on maths. And that's OK. Let's hope it's different. But I think you've done your job then of just looking out for her because, you know, best case scenario, that was just a one off situation. He might have a bad reputation, but maybe there's going to be a miracle and he's going to be different and amazing. You haven't done anything wrong you know you you're not you don't have to go to her and say like don't go there with this guy like run for your life like you don't because that just pisses people off and it pushes them away from you and pushes them towards the other person even more but you can say like look

take this with a pinch of salt you know know, we don't know the full story. We don't know the ins and outs. But this is just information I've received. And I feel like I'd be a bad friend to not relay it to you. Do with it whatever you will. I just feel like as your friend, I've got to tell you this. I couldn't sit back and just keep this to myself. Because if anything does go wrong, you will then feel guilty.

You'll be like, fuck, I should have fucking warned her. So I just think approach it carefully. Don't make her feel like she's under attack. Don't make her feel like she needs to leave this person because of what you're saying. Make it clear. Like, look, if you choose to ignore this, I get it. But I just got to tell you, just for my sake, if anything, do you know what I mean? So that no matter what happens, I don't look back and think I should have said something anything do you know what I mean so that no matter what happens I don't

look back and think I should have said something do you know what I mean so yeah but that's just my advice if you really really don't want to tell her obviously you don't have to but that's just my advice from an outsider I love you so much next time okay I'm gonna finish with this one interesting my boyfriend of four years and baby daddy follows a bunch of porn accounts on instagram and pages full of naked girls and also has a twitter account where he only follows porn accounts i feel like in my head it seems normal but in reality it's not and we joke about it but I'm a bit uncomfortable with it so what should I do um I personally don't think that's normal but normal is a very weird word that I don't really like um my opinion on it is it does not doesn't fly with me babe there is no way in

hell my boyfriend's doing that on social media it's fucking embarrassing for me and for you are you all right i just think if you don't like something you have every right to express those feelings whether someone agrees with you or not whether he thinks it's acceptable or not it doesn't matter you're still allowed to disagree you're still allowed to feel like i don't like this it makes me feel shit i'm i'm uncomfortable with it it's i don't know many girls or guys that would be comfortable with that like imagine if i followed loads of fucking dicks on Instagram and Twitter and like porn porn stars on Twitter get their fucking cock out on Twitter like and my boyfriend's just gonna be like yeah she just

loves the dick on Twitter like it's weird for me I don't think I don't think you should accept something you're uncomfortable with listen I'm sure there are people out there that are like oh it's just porn like it's just porn whatever it's just porn but there are also people that wouldn't like it and that's okay if you don't like something you don't like something so i think you can express that hopefully your boyfriend will just have a bit of respect and be like oh okay i didn't realize you felt like that you know we've always laughed about it you've never mentioned it which i can get if you've never expressed it as a problem I can understand why he's he's like oh she's not bothered it's just porn like she knows she knows it's not that deep

so I get it but yeah babe listen your feelings are valid never forget that all right I love you all of you thank you so much for sending in all your dilemmas I am truly grateful and appreciative of every single one of you like I genuinely don't know what I would do without having this just to like escape from things and listen I sound like a fucking crazy person like I actually you guys probably thinking what the hell has happened between your last episode and now okay I'm all right trust me like it's just like basically my life's just done a bit of a 180 but I'm good okay like please I'm just stressed I'm really stressed is the word and a bit upset and anxious but that is so fine like life throws little curveballs at you and it's just about how you deal with them you know but yeah I will always be honest with you guys about how I'm feeling like I will never

ever ever ever pick up this mic and be like hi everyone how are you I had the best weekend if I didn't like it's not real it's not reality and i don't want anyone to listen to me and think fuck why why is she so happy why is her life so fucking great and easy because it ain't okay and that's normal sometimes life is fucking incredible and sometimes it's really stressful and anxious and scary and we're all human we're allowed to have more difficult days and yeah I will always be honest with you but sorry if I sound like a whingy little bitch and I'm sorry if I sound really quiet what's happening to my voice right now hello hello oh that's better maybe I'll have to talk like this from now on imagine if I just got stuck

do you remember when people would say to you like oh oh, don't pull that face, the wind will blow and it will get stuck. Do you know, I genuinely believe that. Like I fully believed it. Also, do you know, I didn't know bears were real until the age of like 16. And I can promise you now that it's not a joke. I'm so embarrassed about it. I remember I was in college. college i'd left school was in college and my friend like said something about a bear and i was like ha ha ha he's like what was it wasn't a joke and i was like oh what like gruffalo he's like well kind of but real and i was like what do you mean like i fully fully did not know a bear like a real bear stand on his back two feet like i literally pictured the gruffalo bear did not know it was real and i'm mortified and i'm

embarrassed i've just admitted that on a podcast actually but here we are anyway let's wrap up the episode okay everybody how are you feeling I hope you're okay I love you all I'm so grateful for all of you thank you for all of your love and support whether it's just that you listen whether it's that you send in dilemmas and confessions and responses to weekly debates, whether you send me DMs or whether this is the first time you've ever listened. If so, I promise I'm a little bit more positive most of the time. Well, actually not so much recently. Now I look back. Let's do some affirmations. Ready? It's been a while since we've done affirmations. Who's ready? Deep breath in everyone. You better be doing it. Who's mocking me off for not doing it? Let's do that again.

Yeah, felt good didn't it? Isn't it nice just to take a deep breath every now and then? Okay, affirmations time time i deserve good things yeah my confidence gets stronger every day um everything i want wants me more love that one i'm confident strong and successful i'm growing into the best version of me i radiate good energy yeah all right and i love myself unconditionally love that everybody amazing work really good stuff from you all today somebody did message me saying you listen in the bath and kind of love it niki niki yeah kind of love that from you so it's actually quite nice to take a deep breath then oh let's do another one

don't you all actually feel loads better after taking a deep breath do you know what i've realized right sometimes i'll just say to myself like relax your shoulders and then i realize how uptight i am everyone relax your shoulders right now like oh you didn't realize how tense you are do you know what i mean gorgeous just gorgeous like relax a bit some someone's listening and you've got clenched bum cheeks anyone else do that when they're anxious like clench the bum cheeks when you're scared it's like oh do you know and you know why you get um you go tense when you're anxious right because i read it once i think it was in feel the fear and do it anyway that book that i've spoken about before it said that you go all tense and stiff when you're anxious and afraid

because your body reacts to anxiety like it's face to face with a lion or a tiger I can't remember I think it's a lion and that's well that's the way they talk about like fight or flight do you know what I mean like you're face face with a lion like your body feels endangered it feels scared so you go stiff because you think if you if you get attacked you're all stiff and like harder and like less fragile i don't know i thought god it's crazy that's such a crazy anyway i love you guys so much i hope you all have the best week sending you good vibes and this is your sign to recharge those crystals that you bought ages ago and got into for a while and then left them on your windowsill to get dusty let's recharge let's get the tarot deck out even

though i have seen on tiktok that it's like connected with bad spirit which kind of freaked me out but just whatever you know anyway love you guys hope you all have the best week and I can't shout for the outro obviously so let's whisper this together it's like it's quite relaxing episode isn't it who wants to do a face mask after this I'd love to anyway love you guys remember to take some deep breaths this week because we realize they're actually really quite nice and I'll speak to you on Friday for a brand new episode all right i love you