Leah on the Line - 68: Do you low key want to be the better looking one in your relationship?

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. Happy Tuesday. Happy Tuesday, everybody. Hope you all had an incredible bank holiday weekend what did you guys get up to we have been doing up the garden here at home and honestly I say we I do what I'm capable of doing which to be honest with you guys is much besides sunbathing and walking around the garden centers and the shops and going that's a nice plant oh look at that lovely flower look that lovely plant look at that lovely hedge and um i learned a lot i learned a lot so you know those plants that like spiral they're like spiral plants right i'm really not it's like a hedge but it's like a big almost like the shape of like a cheeto yeah like the spirally cheetos they don't grow

like that you cut it it's just a hedge that they've just shaped into a big are you kidding me i was like wow that is so clever that is so clever that it grows like that my mom's like you know that someone's just cut that don't you it's just a fucking hedge i was like oh wow either way fucking stunning anyway what have you guys been up to i hope you all had an amazing bank holiday weekend it's been quiet out and about i've noticed like i'm not smelling barbecues like i expected that summer smell of just like burnt sausages do you know what i mean i'm not smelling it and it's making me kind of sad i would have a barbecue but i'd have to take out a small loan to be honest to afford food for a barbecue because what the fuck guys we bought a watermelon the other day

do you know how much it fucking cost five pounds for a fucking watermelon from little honestly and then i was in aldi and this woman had like three watermelons on her on her um the thing what's it called like the the belt what the fuck is that is it called you know you put all shopping on anyway the belt anyway she had three watermelons on it and and jamie was like fucking her will come with pay all right because jesus christ she had a willco uniform on it's always like jesus wow honey you've been doing all right for three watermelons yes 15 pound on watermelons but anyway yeah i can't believe it can't couldn't believe my eyes but we he like well basically jamie went to get it about me and he just picked it up we thought it can't be my

heart just fucking watermelon and he texted me like guess how much that watermelon just marked up as and he's like oh fuck it i'm here now i can't go put it back i mean i i would have i would have been like um sorry i didn't realize that was five pound can you take off do you mean i mean it did taste delicious it did taste delicious but would I say it was worth a fiver no it wasn't but oh guys I'm going to Portugal in two weeks two weeks today I'm leaving on the 12th I'm so ready for a bit of sun even though to be honest I've been soaking up the sun here in the UK but it hits different when you're abroad doesn't it because the UV here is like five six seven on a good day but in Portugal it's like nine darling yeah you better believe

I'll be putting that SPF on don't you worry about it especially around the eyes they're a bit wrinkly it's kind of freaking me out but then I look back through my photos right and I've kind of always had wrinkly eyes it's quite a weird thing because I say they're smile lines but they're actually just wrinkles I think but anyway hope you guys all had an amazing weekend. Thank you for joining me for another episode. Love you all so much. And let's just dive straight in, shall we? Thank you so much for listening to Leah on the Line.

Remember to leave a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and hit the notification bell. You can send in your confessions and dilemmas to Leah on the Line at gmail.com and follow me on socials at Leah on the Line and at Leah Levain levain to see visual clips of the podcast i love you enjoy the episode okay welcome back i hope you guys are all feeling really really good let's get straight into the weekly debate today my question for you this week is do you low-key want to be the better looking one in your relationships okay so the reason this came to mind is because me and Jamie were having like a cute moment in bed and like and we're like mushy mushy right and he was just like oh like I'm just like showing you off like all that challenge love showing you off love showing you and I was like no seriously like you're so like

you're 10 10 and like I know that I'm punching but like I'm all right for it I mean I'm all right with that he's like no no I'm punching I'm punching we're just doing that like conversation right but it was cute but only to us anyone else would just throw it up in a bag anyway and I thought that's actually a good weekly debate like do you want to be the better looking one in the relationship and if you deep down feel like your partner is like more attractive than you are like does it bother you do you know what i mean so i know a lot of people are going to be like it doesn't matter it doesn't matter why is it a competition but like do you know what i mean i just thought you know low-key might you guys might be a bit

like i need to be hotter than you do you know what i mean so let's just have a look okay low-key yes as i've dated guys who care more about their looks than me okay yeah no that listen i'm all for get right into that skincare baby you look after that skin you make you take your time on your hair if you love your fashion it's a green flag for me i love it take pride in your appearance because you're a sexy sexy man yeah but if if you care more than me then i'll probably i won't really have the patience for it do you know i mean i'll be a bit like oh you look fine let's go do you know i mean because i don't think i'm that high maintenance with my appearance like i'll have a day where i feel really ugly and i'll be

really spotty and really pale and i feel like i've eaten too much junk food and my face is all bloated and my hair's fucking falling out and it's all snapped and it's all dead and I'll be like oh I look like shit but then I'll just be like fucking crack on do you know what I mean it is what it is so yeah okay next one yes because confidence but also no because I don't want to feel unsatisfied with my partner oh good point good point like we have to feel like we're in the same league a bit. Do you know what I mean? Or not? I don't know. I guess some people probably, it doesn't matter. I know a lot of people don't care about looks, which is, you know, also a nice thing to say. Yeah, because then you don't have to worry about them cheating. I mean, I'd like to think no matter how good

looking you are, you're still not going to cheat on me, but I do get what you're saying. I think it's a good ego boost if you are. Yeah, see ya. No, because I want people to be jealous and yes, because I want them to show me off. Yeah, babe, so true. Yes, but also don't want to be with someone who people think isn't good looking yeah so have you guys been in those relationships where everyone's like they're punching with you they're punching and you know what i find right it's so rude like i've been in relationships where people literally in front of me and my boyfriend say to my boyfriend you're punching with her mate if somebody said to me god you're punching with him i'd be

in tears on the floor i'd never leave the house like but boys they tend to just take it on the chin yeah i know mate yeah she's a 10 mate yeah i'm punching i'm punching if somebody said to me you're punching with him oh no even if deep down i know it i'm like right well i'm ugly right you just think i'm ugly then do you know what i mean right well you just basically said that yeah i can he can do better than me do you know what i mean i don't get how boys just just like yeah no mate anyway maybe i'm sensitive yes so you don't feel insecure about them cheating on you again um absolutely that boy better treat me like his most prized possession i i agree but also they should do that fucking regardless, okay?

I've always been the better looking one apparently, but never have felt it. I don't think it matters. Yeah, I don't think it matters. I definitely don't think it matters, but yes, but it's embarrassing to admit. I think I am anyways. Love it. Someone says, yes yes less worry um doesn't bother me if you're in a mature committed relationship it shouldn't matter it feels like a childish mentality to care about this not bashing the debate just my view

100 babe i'm with you but not calling him childish but like i'm with you that it shouldn't matter um i think it makes me feel more secure i don't believe any relationship should be a looks competition all right babe yeah i get you i get you low-key yes this is purely down to the fact i don't want anyone trying to go for my man yeah i feel you i get what you mean when when you guys are saying like you feel more secure you almost have that feeling of like it doesn't i don't mean in terms of like them cheating but you have that security of like you're going to be looking around and the chances of you spotting somebody else and being like oh could probably go for them instead feels less likely because you like to think that deep down they're like wow I'm so lucky I got her do you know what I mean

do you know what I mean babes um I don't think relationships work if they're not on a similar level of attractiveness okay that's interesting I feel like they would work I feel oh I don't know actually maybe yeah I don't know that's a tough one that's an interesting um perspective a hundred percent yes somebody says yes high key yeah I high key want to be better than again okay it's a difficult one because I think I at least want to feel like we are just we look good together do you know what I mean like slay couple if I was with someone where I felt like everyone's looking at us saying how the fuck did she get with them then I would I think that would make me very insecure I won't lie but I mean a lot of you guys might look at me and think we literally look at you and Jamie and think

how the fuck did he get her I mean I mean the other way I mean you probably look at us and think how the fuck did she get him like he you may think he's way out of my league but maybe that's just because of how it makes me feel I don't know but I I personally just feel comfortable like I'm not like I don't feel that really insecure like oh my god like he's way too good for me but then also I think that's because my confidence comes from within and how I feel about myself as a human being do you guys know what I mean by that but having said that I have been with people where people will say to me like oh he's punching with you he's punching with you, he's punching with you. And I'll be like, this is irrelevant. Do you know what I mean?

And it doesn't make me feel good either. Like, it didn't make me feel like, yeah, I'm a fucking bitch. Like, bus bitch. I'm a bus bitch. And you're lucky to be with me. So don't fuck it up. Like, it didn't give me that feeling because in those relationships was when I was the most insecure and the most unhappy. What's the word I'm looking for here? Like,ily enough what's the word um ironically I'm not sure

yeah like the relationships where everyone would tell me they were punching was when I was the most insecure and they made me feel the most insecure but the relationships where I feel like you're the best like relationship Jamie where I'm like you're the best looking, Jamie, where I'm like, you're the best looking person I've ever set my eyes on, I feel the most secure. So take from that what you will. It's an interesting one, really. Do you know what I mean? It's like, no matter how good looking either of us are, how secure do we feel in the relationship? How confident do you make me feel? Do you know what I mean? But I loved that. I really enjoyed that question. I feel like it's more fun. It's a very fun question. Something a lot of people don't like to admit, but I'm happy that you guys admitted it I love you guys all right let's get into some

dilemmas okay this one is it's different because it's quite serious dilemma and I don't even know if I'm well I'm most certainly I'm not qualified to be given advice full stop on any of these dilemmas but especially this one but we'll give up I can go hey all right get comfy do I get back with my ex all right let's do this okay pre-warning this sounds like an episode of EastEnders or speaking of EastEnders can't watch it at the moment I got right back into it honestly I've not watched it since like 2005 right and I got back into it recently because my mum watches it and the funny thing is it's like where I used to watch it religiously from when I was very young and then I just suddenly stopped one day

actually it was like 2011 roughly I stopped basically the way I remember I stopped watching it's because we went on a holiday and I never i never caught up when i got back so then that was it for years no one cares leah anyway i can't watch it i mean shut up right so i'm watching it briefly because my mum has it on so i'll just catch the odd episode right but the thing is i was annoying her because i'm like who's phil with now i thought i thought phil was with sharon and then he's with cat and i'm like i thought cat was with Alfie. And then some kid will be. I'm like, whose kid is that? Who's that kid?

And then there'll be a new actor for the same role from years ago. And I'm like, who the fuck is he? He's not him. And yeah, anyway. So now I've decided I'm just going to watch it properly. But obviously now all this stuff with Lola's going on. And it's a bit triggering. It's a bit triggering for me.

So I've decided to tune out for the next couple of weeks. Until it all settles down. And I won't be so panicky when I watch it but why did I feel the need to tell that story I honestly have no idea I'm just going to get back to the dilemma okay pre-warning this sounds like an episode of Eastenders but I really need your help my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years we broke up end of April long story short he's in the army and a lot of the pressure of us being away from each other caused him to break up with me i feel we could have worked on it if we tried but accepted that everything happens for a reason and this was my

time to grow on my own as i'm only 23 stunning i love that from you however during the first few days of the breakup of course i was stressed and wasn't eating oh no honestly that breakup phase is the worst it is hell um so my period was late but I was putting it down to that but as I was due to be going out at the weekend it would have been it would have been my first weekend out single my mum begged me to take a pregnancy test she was convinced I was pregnant she was right not gonna, I'm still processing it and it's so weird but right now the pregnancy is going well. I'm nine weeks so early days. Congratulations, I love you. Of course I told him and we had a really positive phone call just before

we went out the country, he went out the country for work and decided we'll be able to do this as friends amazing he was on exercise i don't know what that means he was on exercise with no phone for like a week and then he calls me which i wasn't expecting as he is still out the country but he phones me saying he fucked up and realizes he was stupid losing me we've had a few calls since we've had a few calls since and i asked him if i wasn't pregnant, would he want this? And he was honest and said he wasn't sure. But when he thinks of me, it's more than the pregnancy. He wants me.

Okay. I'm just so scared as I feel people end things for a reason and I don't want the cycle to repeat itself. I care about him and I love him, but I also have so much respect for myself. As you should, babe. Love you. I told him we can also have so much respect for myself as you should babe love you I told him we can't go back to how things were things need to change or we'll end up back at square one and I can't go through that again especially now that there'll be a baby involved I just really need advice on what I should do as I want him on my life so bad but not sure if it's

the right path to take if he was able to end things with me in the first place I love you so much I love you too so much sorry this was long was long. I love you. Don't apologize. Okay. Wow. That's a tricky one. I mean, I appreciate the honesty from him. That's definitely helpful because then you're not sat there with questions about, you know, why he said it. My thoughts on this, like I said, said not qualified but more of a serious situation is you before he came out to you with any of these feelings about regretting it and wanting you back you decided we're gonna do this together as friends right so I feel like there is no rush If you two are going to end up together, I think focus on yourself for now and do everything you can to enjoy this pregnancy, take care of the little baby in your belly, you know, like look after yourself, prioritize your mental health, your physical health,

you know, all of those things, things your happiness set yourself up ready for this amazing chapter that's about to start he's going to be involved he's going to be part of this he's going to be part of your life um and then i think you know you don't need to just think right are we going to be together or not it doesn't need to be now and it doesn't need to be a big decision like that it might just happen slowly and naturally it might happen quickly and naturally like I think focus on yourself your health your happiness um stay in contact you know keep him up to date with everything hopefully he can come home and come to the scans with you if he has that opportunity I'm not sure what his schedule's like um and if it feels natural and if you feel like you're spending time together and you just

are in love then it will just happen naturally and if you you know you never know you might even be spending time with him and be like do you know what i don't actually think i want to be in a relationship with you because i say this a lot sometimes we think we want to get back with someone just because of how painful the rejection felt of them not wanting to be with us then all of a sudden they're like oh I want you back and then suddenly we can be a bit like uh I don't actually fancy you or like you're not actually what I want in a partner do you know what I mean so I think yeah focus on yourself and try to put whether you are together or not in a relationship or not at the bottom of your list of priorities for now and focus on yourself and just see if it happens see how it feels when you're in each other's

company see how your friendship slash relationship progresses over time I don't know or if it feels 100% like what you want to do just give it another go and just get in a relationship again if that's what you both want right now and if you decide again that it doesn't work you you 100% have the strength to to accept that and deal with that and go through that if that time comes do you know what I mean but I think listen to your gut um and just make sure you and that baby is is a priority at all times does that make any sense I hope so i love you so much and congratulations please keep us all updated on the pregnancy i love you all right next dilemma hey leah long time listener and first time writer oh welcome i love you well welcome to the dilemmas not welcome

to the listening because you've been a long time listening anyway just shut up Ria so this is less a dilemma and almost more event to validate that I'm not overreacting because I'm pissed off sorry because it's going to be long so first I need to provide context about this boy slash man slash child we love them I was I was with a guy from when I was 15 to about 22. Wow, that's a long time. Was that seven years? Whoa, geez. We had a perfect relationship for the first few years and he was my first love. As we got older, we started to clash as we changed a lot as people. And although we loved each other, we just didn't grow into adults that could create a life together. Too many of our values didn't align and it caused silly and frequent arguments. By the time we actually broke up I'd already been out of love for a good while and therefore I haven't ever cried or felt sad. I knew it was the right thing. I think it's

important to say that I've always held him in quite a high regard. Although at times he acted in questionable ways I'm sure I did too and I can put a lot of that down to immaturity and selfishness that I've grown out of. I had no resentment towards him and I wanted him to be happy. Of course, after that long, I did miss him, but not really in a romantic way, and I was well aware that the bits I missed weren't what I left, but more what I experienced in the first years of him. You're very emotionally intelligent and I love you for that. Anyway, it's now been about four years since then. I have the most amazing boyfriend and I've you for that. Anyway it's now been about four years since then. I've had the most I have the most amazing boyfriend and I've been going out going with oh sorry fucking hell

I've been going oh my god I've been with for going on three years. We've brought a flat together, my family love him and he actually went to school with a lot of my friends so he's just gelled and fitted in so well with everyone. St also had a girlfriend aged 18 to 23 and had a very similar breakup so we both fully get how indifferent you can feel to someone you once loved gorgeous this sounds fantastic i honestly have never felt calm calmness like it and i just have been so consistently happy he is a good egg amazing i'm so happy for you that's what you deserve but and then she says there's always a but that ex I was talking about has had a few girlfriends since then again not an issue but he is he has a habit of contacting me every time he

breaks up with one oh god okay the last time which was in mid 2021, he accidentally called me loads, which is something he always miraculously only manages to do when he's single. Funny that. Liked all my stuff and just was clearly trying to get attention. I didn't answer his calls, but other than that, I just let him get on with it because I don't dislike him. And I always tell my boyfriend everything everything so it's not an issue. Amazing I love you. That was the last time he was single but again in summer of last year he randomly liked my insta post and then blocked me straight after. Strange behavior. But anyway flash forward to 2023 I'm a nosy bitch and sometimes I have a social media stalk. Okay nothing wrong with that. I just like to see how he's getting on etc to be honest

I've stalked my boyfriend's ex way more than I ever have him but I accidentally like something oh not the accidental double tap okay and he popped up I was honest and joked about it saying well sorry didn't realize I like something just having a nosy love that from you but then I wished him his family his girlfriend well and him a happy b day as it was two days later there was nothing inappropriate nothing flirty and again i told my boyfriend the next day he replied but then blocked me straight after i was confused because to me there is no ulterior motive i'm just nosy and feel nothing but friendship to him but i understand his girlfriend may not want him talking to me etc so i thought fair enough but bitch here is where what happened last week i was in

okay but bitch here is what happened last week i just can't today i was in my first play since drama school oh my god congratulations so happy on the second and final night of the run my ex girl oh my god my ex turns up with his girlfriend watches the play and then leaves immediately after wait what why did i scan over that so gently your ex showed up with his girlfriend to your show what i'm i'm very confused why his girlfriend was okay with doing that hey my ex is in a show do you want to go watch it absolutely absolutely let's book some tics weird okay what the fuck for reference i think he lives a few hours away now with her what why are you traveling this far to see me with your girlfriend that's weird there were only four people in the cast and he knew i was

one of them what that's so weird i'm sorry that's weird you literally obsessed with me he knew one of the girls who was due in front of house so it would have almost made sense to me if he hung around for a drink with her but no he came spoke to my mom in the interval and then left as soon as it finished. Right, this is why I'm so pissed. Firstly, either we're on good terms or you've blocked me. Which one is it? Secondly, he knew there would be that, sorry, he knew being there would make me uncomfortable. That was my space and invading it was thoughtless and unkind. Thirdly, how the fuck did you convince your girlfriend to spend her Friday night watching your ex in a play so true that is not my idea of fun fourthly he was so shocked to see my mum as she came both nights my friends and boyfriend came the night before

imagine your boyfriend was there though so it's like he's been told that and expected none of them to be there the friday and purposely came when they weren't. Yeah, what the hell? I've always thought back fondly on him and wished him well, but now I'm annoyed. All it's done is show me that leaving him has and always will be the right decision and how lucky I am to have no drama in my life now. Hopefully no one listens to this that I know, because I really want to text and be like, what fuck but i will not give him an inch um i know his his response would be we didn't come for you or something gaslighting like that anyway everyone i've told finds it weird too including everyone that was in the play leah am i being a child about this or is it just so fucking weird

and i have a right to be pissed off anyway the next week my best friends got married oh amazing and the play went beautifully so my life is great at the moment and I'm super happy so now I've vented at you I will move on with my life but thanks for hearing me out love you bye oh my god this guy do you know what I actually think it is he's calling you after every breakup I think he's doing it for validation like you you're his first love. He's like coming to this habit of when I feel insecure or lonely or I need just a bit of excitement, I'll go to the first love. I'll go to the ex.

Do you know what I mean? And I genuinely think he cannot get you out of his head for some reason. Coming to see your show is a four man cast, right? There's four actors in this fucking show. Your ex-girlfriend's one of them you ain't going to that show even if it was a west end massive huge very popular show my ex is in it i'm not fucking watching it it's weird do you know what i mean even if it wasn't a little play

four hours down the road from me do i mean then i'm not as weird okay like i don't know but like you said it's not really a dilemma there's not much advice i can give besides i don't know part of me would want to just message and be like leave me alone like honestly like not being horrible or nothing but i am trying to move on with my life these texts and calls and the instagram and the showing up to my play, like it's, I'm trying to move on with my life. I'm very happy. Do you know what I mean? Part of me would, would want to do that, but I totally get why you wouldn't want to, cause that's probably what he wants. But, um, yeah, maybe, maybe, um, pack it in with us Insta stalking as well. Cause it's never a good idea, is it? Do you know what I mean I mean just ignorance is bliss let's move

on and forget I mean thanks for the good times but Jesus it's been a while now babe yeah to him not to you okay all right let's go to the next dilemma hi Leah I love the pod so much and hope that you're doing well I love you so much I hope you're doing well. Oh, I love you so much. I hope you're doing well. So I have a bit of a problem. I just recently turned 18 and have been having a bit of a crisis as I feel quite behind in terms of dating and relationships. I haven't had my first kiss yet, gone on a date or even had a talking stage with a guy. It's not like I've never had the opportunity, but I always get major imposter syndrome. I feel so undeserving and think that if a guy would ever get to know the real me they wouldn't like that and leave. Guys if you haven't seen Waitress first of all you need to watch it on on YouTube it is on there it's very illegal but you should

watch it. Anyway it's giving dawn it's giving I'll stick with real things usually facts and figures because as this song is about what if when he sees me, he's only disappointed? Okay, there was no need for that performance from me. Okay, you may turn your volume back up now, guys. Sorry about that. Anyway, continue on. This is why I don't even let it get that far and don't get to know new people. um this is why I don't even let it get that far and don't get to know new people I've always felt this way all my life and it's always been a hindrance in my non-existent dating life I'm also quite shy around boys and I don't meet new people very often which makes me feel even

worse at flirting how can I overcome this fear of letting people see the real me I really want to enter the dating scene but I just don't know how I'd appreciate the advice and love you lots oh my god the way you are talking to yourself the way you feel about yourself is so wrong it's bullshit you're incredible and anyone would be lucky to get to know you that's that's the mentality we need to have you offer so much to anyone's life as a friend as a family member let alone as a partner okay or even just someone that they might be lucky enough to kiss all right but if you're really like you're saying like i'm ready i want to get out there i'm ready it's scary but we just got to do it we just got to put ourselves out there i don't know if

you like drinking or like going on nights out but i feel like that's a really fun way to ease yourself in um not that i recommend this to somebody who like doesn't really go out and drink but if that is something you enjoy anyway I always just find that like when you're single and you're out and you're a bit drunk it's the best time to just have a little flirt and it's pointless because realistically you're not going to end up in a relationship but that's kind of perfect for just building up the confidence and making it more like a normal thing that you do so like if you're just out and i don't know like i said if you don't drink then ignore this part but to anybody else that this might relate to if you enjoy a night out just tell yourself like i'm gonna go

outside i'm gonna fucking flirt and i'm just gonna flirt and like tomorrow you're not even gonna know who i am and i'm not gonna know who you are and it doesn't even matter and even if I'm really drunk and I'm embarrassed myself it was fun I'm confident like it's boosting my confidence do you know what I mean it's just fun and just be fun with it and I just think unfortunately dating is a risky game because we're either gonna feel really really good or it's gonna knock our confidence and we face rejection that is just dating in general do you know what i mean but it's just part of it we all face rejection we all face that you know not feeling good enough feeling every now and then um and you just you just realize your worth the more you go through these things you realize what you want and you realize

you know what just because somebody doesn't want me that doesn't actually that's irrelevant to to me and my worth it just means we're not right for each other like there's people in my life that I've not been interested in but that doesn't mean that they're not attractive that doesn't mean they're not amazing people that doesn't mean they're not funny as fuck it's just not for me do you know what I mean so unfortunately it is a risky game because like I said you're gonna be rejected or you're gonna feel really good but it doesn't it's not that deep you know we just gotta be fun about it it's not that deep if you don't fancy me fuck you fuck you if you don't fancy me you know I just think wherever you can have a little bit of fun with it boost your confidence in other ways wherever

that is whether that be getting yourself some nice new clobber, do you know what I mean? Getting your nails done, getting your hair done, boosting your confidence so that then whenever it does come to dating, you feel good. Get on online dating if you haven't done that already. Some people meet the love of their life, some people it's like hell on earth, on a phone so it's just one of the things where dating is never easy to navigate it's just about you know failed situationships and then successful relationships failed failed relationship you know i'm really into you next day i've got the i'm not into you anymore whatever it is it's all a journey one day you might beed. Another day you might have someone begging you to be with them and you don't even know if you really like them. And it's just part of being a young adult or even an adult and just

dating and loving life, babe. It's all fun. Well, it's not. There's lots of tears and heartbreak, but we go through it. Okay. we all go through it and we get through it we get through it it can be painful but we get through it but the most part of it is it's fun and I think the biggest problem we're facing with you right now is the way you know like you said imposter syndrome the way that you're talking about yourself the way that you're feeling about yourself that is the one thing that needs to change because you got to realize that you're amazing and you bring so much to the table yeah anyone be lucky to kiss them lips babe believe me all right get yourself out there girl let me know how you go oh i love you okay next dilemma

all right let's do this one hi leah i love the podcast i've been listening since the very first episode. Oh my God, I love you. Thank you so much. My dilemma is how to how to stop feeling guilty after breaking up with an ex. I broke up with my boyfriend at the beginning of April. And I know deep down it was the right thing. But I cannot help but eat myself alive with guilt. I just keep replaying the breakup in my head and picturing his face when we were having the conversation. Any advice on how I can stop this? Thank you so much, girl, and keep smashing it. I love you so much. Listen, breaking up with someone is never easy. I remember the first time I broke up with someone and it ached me alive. If I think about it now,

I still feel bad about it okay it's horrible hurting someone letting somebody down rejecting someone is horrible but that's just because you're a nice person and you feel empathy and you feel sympathy and you're a good person and that's a nice trait to have you just can't let it ruin your life do you know what I mean like you gotta stop like when you think when you picture in his face you just gotta stop like we just go oh stop get an elastic band on your wrist right anytime you think about it give yourself a flick on the wrist okay you just have to you know I did the right thing he will be okay he might be hurting right now he might be fucking over it by now who knows but we have to just I did the right thing you know I've got to accept

that I did the right thing I'm proud of myself be proud of yourself for doing the right thing you did the right thing for both of you because like I said it's all if you don't want to be of someone you've done the right thing full stop but you've also done the right thing for him as well because he deserves to be of somebody that wants to be of him. So just think, you know what, I did the right thing. I've got to let it go. I've got to move on. He will be okay. And this is just, it's normal. It's never nice. Unless they cheated on you and treated you like shit, then it can be nice sometimes to be like, fuck you. But that doesn't sound like the case there so I'm thinking we just gotta think I'm proud of myself I'm not a bad person just because I've hurt somebody it's not it doesn't

make me a bad person regardless of how I delivered it how soft and gentle that I said this no matter how I timed it it's gonna hurt this person and there's nothing I can do about that. You did the right thing. We have to work on that. Forgetting about it. We've got to move on. We've got to move on. We've got to get that face out the head. We've got to move on. And it will soon just become in the past. And it won't, it won't riddle you with as much guilt eventually. I love you, babe. All right. Let's do another one. Hey girl, I love your pod and listen every week. Oh, I love you babe all right let's do another one hey girl i love your pod and listen every week oh i love you so much so i'm 20 and i'm speaking to a boy right now who i really really fancy he's from my hometown however i live 200 miles away for uni so we've only met up a few times

so far when i've been home and for the weekend. We spend each we send each other TikToks and message every day. We've also called three times for many hours however the last call had felt different. It seemed like he didn't really want to be on the phone and wasn't really engaging in much convo. I know he's a bad texter and he's just better in person and I'm set to see him next weekend when I go home home but I'm just left on a bad note after the call as I really want this to work and I hope he still fancies me as much as I fancy him what should I do should I just continue acting normal and then see how see how it is when we meet next week thank you in advance for any advice oh also he also swipes up on my

stories complimenting me so I'm really so i really do think he's into me but i'm just overthinking because i really want stuff to work lol my brain okay um i do think this is a classic situation where i and i feel like i say this a lot we need to separate whether somebody actually wants to be of us from our self-worth do you know what i mean like i've been there as well when you're like oh my god like his texts are getting blunter or he's replying slower or like he's he seemed a bit moody or like he didn't seem as like giddy and flirty like oh so what do you mean if i get home and everything's different oh well didn't work out do you mean and i know

it's hard because deep down you're like i really really like him like i'm so excited about him and i get all giddy when i think about him and i've planned what dress i'm gonna wear to our wedding like i know we can get ahead of ourselves right but also we have to develop the skill to just think to my to ourselves if you don't want to be with me like if i come home and everything's different or you don't even bother seeing me or if you text do start getting really slow and then we decide it's just fizzled out. Oh, well, you know, that was fun. Never mind. Plenty more fish in the sea for me.

Do you know what I mean? Billions of people in the world, babe. Not just you. But I know it's easy to say, but it is true. So I think, like you said, you're probably overthinking, but we could be dealing with this guy doesn't really know what he wants. You know, he's swiping up on your Instas, but then he's giving you weird vibes and we don't need no head fuck around here, babe. Okay. I'm not, listen, I'm not doing the head fuck, but do not let it affect your self-esteem. Hold yourself just as high as you did at the beginning. Hold it all the way to the end. You're a fucking babe.

just as high as you did at the beginning, hold it all the way to the end, you're a fucking babe, never forget it, right, and just think, when I go home, I'll just see how it is, it doesn't matter, it's not the end of the world, we're only seeing each other, I only spoke on the phone three times, it's what it is, I'll just see when I, doesn't matter, doesn't say anything about me as a person, I'm fucking amazing, but if you're just not ready right now, then that's nothing on me, because I'm perfect, do you know what I mean though that is the mentality okay yeah I just think it is about making sure and I like I said I say this a lot but I think it is important that we separate whether somebody wants to be with us from our self-worth always okay all right let's do one more so the gym girl oh sorry to the last girl i love you everything's gonna be okay keep us all updated when you next go home all right so the gym girl

my boyfriend of five years and his mom has made friends with a gym girly his mom as well oh that's my mother-in-law do you know what i mean that runs classes etc but she's my age oh that she fucking is do you know what i mean i feel extremely uncomfortable that my mom-in-law may like her more she also goes over to my boyfriend in the gym and flirts big time my stepdad has even seen it fucking i was like big family gym sessions a while i was the bigger person and invited her to the army and navy rugby with me fuck me that could never be me hey um you seem to be getting on really well with my boyfriend at the moment you want to come spend more time with us no no no okay um inviting her to the army and navy rugby with me my boyfriend

my cousin my parents and my boyfriend's dad she came and it was going okay however we were all going back to mine for a barbecue so the youngins stayed out and the adults went home my boyfriend had to go and collect the dogs before we went back and she fully just said she had the audacity to say do you need me to come with you excuse me surely that's a question for the girlfriend me to ask for a cheeky shag you want me to come help but no this bitch. I set boundaries the next day and I said it's unacceptable. And I'd like, oh, I've lost myself. And I'd like it to be a professional relationship. This is unacceptable, okay?

I'd like it to be a professional relationship where he doesn't interact unless he absolutely needs advice, like medical advice or whatever. We agreed. But I'd love to know your thoughts on the personal trainer especially when the mother-in-law decides to love her and take her to coffee all the time p.s love you i love you too no it's fucking annoying innit that would be fucking annoying it would sorry who are you what have you wiggled your way in literally you're in

my role you're going out for coffee with my mum-in-law you're talking you're flirting with my boyfriend jim you're asking my boyfriend do you need some help to come with you just us two i'm sorry i have already filled that role there is no available vacancies here like what is that no i get where you're annoyed it is annoying that is fucking annoying like i won't lie but at the same time they do have the excuse of like she's just a friend but listen you guys know how i feel about male female best friendships best friend right i believe in male female friendships but best friends it's a little bit too close for my liking but at the same time i know why it's annoying because it's like no one's actually doing anything wrong wrong i mean flirting with you out of fucking line why

the fuck she flirting with you there's no no need for that no need and i said this last time we had this issue it's up to him to set them. You don't don't flirt with me. We're friends. Let's get that loud and clear. No flirting here. All right. But I mean, you've said how you feel and he's agreed with you. But I mean, what can you do after that? Really? She's fucking there, isn isn't she but you don't want to seem like that crazy girlfriend that's like you're not allowed to be friends with her you're not allowed you know I think it's fine if you're like look this is making me uncomfortable like how would you feel if there was a guy in my life that my mum loved and they're spending one-on-one time

together and he's flirting with me do you know what I mean and I get that and then if he turned around and was like yeah you're right I'm gonna set some boundaries in place that's okay but you're in a difficult position where you've had to be like I don't like this and it's not on it's not happening anymore I honestly don't know what you can do besides what I mean personally the only thing I would have done is just said like this makes me really fucking uncomfortable and how would you feel and that's basically it that's all I can do and then it's up to my partner then to decide do you want to make decisions to make me feel better do you want to go out of your way to make sure that you show me respect here or are you just going to go she's a mate she's just a mate do you know what I mean shut up she's just a mate all right I'll go get myself a couple of

pals I'll go get myself a couple of boy pals but yeah honestly that is so annoying like that is the only word I have for it it's annoying but what can you do besides what you've done please keep me updated like please keep me updated with like any new drama that pops up with her because I get the feeling that she's going to be like oh you're all quiet recently like where have you been at the gym recently any barbecues happening recently no yeah there are actually yeah there are yeah look we've had loads of barbecues loads every weekend we've had barbecues what have you been doing that's nice but yeah oh i feel bad for you there babe that's really annoying i love you all right let's wrap up the episode

okay everyone thank you so much for listening to this episode i hope you really enjoyed it i've absolutely loved it as always i, I love Tuesdays. I love the dilemmas. I love the weekly debates. Send in all your dilemmas to leahontheline at gmail.com or you can DM me at leahontheline on Instagram or there's a link in my bio on my Instagram and you can just click submit here and you can submit dilemmas, confessions. We'll do the confessions again next week. So send them them in I'm sure you guys made some crazy decisions over bank hole weekend so let them let me know oh love island is back on our screens on the 5th who's excited for our weekly gossip sessions on love island we love we love

the love island lowdown here at leo on the line I've seen the lineup my gal molly I say my gal I'm like my my best friend like best friends like she's like my best friend i literally just know her through tiktok like we've never met but i literally just know who she is we literally just follow each other and i'm like yeah my she's my friend like i've known her for like 10 years like my friend yeah she's going in my friend's going in but i'm really excited to see that that's gonna be crazy um yeah the lineups looking I mean you can never tell much from the lineup can you you don't know what people are going to be like so I'm really excited to have our gossip sessions but yeah I hope you'll have an amazing week it'll

go nice and quickly because everyone had Monday off well not everyone but lots of people did and yeah I'll be back on Friday um what we're doing on Friday. I'm not sure. Maybe another cheating stories episode. Whatever it is you guys want. Let me know. You guys just let me know. And yeah. I'll see you then. For whatever that may be.

Only the future knows. Alright. I love you guys so much. And I'll speak to you on Friday. For a brand new episode. I love you. Bye.