Leah on the Line - 71: My husband is a MAN CHILD & how to stop worrying about lads holidays...

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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It's getting closer to midnight. I try to get closer to you. Hello. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. to you. load on Friday. I was a little bit busy in the sun, in the sun, on my holo, on my holo bobs. God, let me update you on that. Fucking hell. So I'll just fucking get straight in, shall we, huns? So love you. Hope you're all feeling really good. Thank you for tuning into the episode. Can't wait to chat for the next hour. So listen, right? If you missed it, it was a voucher holiday, mystery holiday, okay? And there's me, right? Fuck it. Worst case scenario, it's all about memories. We'll laugh about it. We'll joke. Oh my God, do you remember that awful place we stayed? Oh, so funny. Good

times. No, right? I'll start from the beginning where things started to go wrong for this for us for this holiday okay so we get to Stansted airport I've never flown from Stansted before so I was like well I'm a newbie I don't know where I'm going around here but anyway everything was fine in Stansted no no problems there right i mean me and jamie was bickering because of the stress of the airport but it's fine we were fine so we go to board the flight and i give her my boarding pass passport whatever and it's like it flags up red on the computer like okay it wasn't that it wasn't that dramatic it literally was just like sorry if i made it on jump then and um she's like oh um there are we've actually had to change the aircraft and your seats don't exist on this plane.

And I was like, right, well, what are you going to do about that? As you guys know, I'm a very nervous flyer. Yeah, I'm petrified of flying. I've done, this is what I don't understand. I did a 10 hour flight to Miami alone, happy as Larry, didn't give a fuck. I was drinking Prosecco on tap. Another one, please, babe. Like I was just, just I was literally fine the only thing I was scared about was the fact that when I land I'm stuck somewhere for nine months and with Love Island I flew alone and the only thing I was scared about was oh my fucking god like what what have I just signed up to so I think that's why I was all right flying alone them times because I had too much to? So I think that's why I was a right flyer alone them times because I had too much to worry about elsewhere. But when I'm going on holiday, I find it. Oh, can you hear

Missy shaking around? Missy, come here, baby. Sorry, guys. Oh, did I just give everyone the ick? Whenever I hear someone talking their animal voice, I'm like, stop it, even though I do it. Hello. She's coming out with me, guys. Hi, baby. Anyway, what I was saying was, when I go on holiday, it's just different. I think because I don't have anything else to worry about and because I'm doing it for a good time, I'm like, is it worth it? Why am I doing this? So anyway, I'm a very nervous flyer. I need to be sat with somebody because if there's turbulence, you better believe I'm freaking out. And in my head, we're going down. Right. So we pay extra with Ryanair because Ryanair are little

fuckers and they pay, you have to pay to have a piss on the plane, to breathe on their plane. They're like, that's 50 quid, please. Like fucking hell. So anyway, we paid extra. And then all of a sudden our seats don't exist on the aircraft. I said well what are you gonna do about that darling no i wasn't us i broke down in properties in the whole queue of people behind me just trying to board the plane i don't feel bad it's not my fucking fault i mean i mean start crying yeah i'm crying like oh my god i'm really nervous fly like oh you've got to stop this stuff for me please please and jamie's doing all the talking and and she's just like nothing i can do i'm afraid and i get that if there's nothing you can do i totally get that your job is literally just get people on that plane it's none of your business really

where anyone sits and i was just like okay okay so we're walking on the plane and we get to the first member of the cabin crew and jamie soon they're talking hi mate yeah basically she's a really nice flyer she gets really bad like fear and she'll start crying if there's any turbulence like believe me it's going to be in your best interest if you sit next to me otherwise she's going to make it your problem anyway and he's like planes fully booked mate planes fully booked i was like right well what fuck, so we walk to the back of the plane, I'm crying through, walking past everyone, crying my eyes out like an idiot, and then we get to the back of the plane, yeah, and there's three empty seats, so then we see another cabin crew member, again, hi mate,

yeah, yeah, sorry, so, I'm so sorry, mate, basically, we have, we paid for our seats to be together, but we've been split up, and she, she's's gonna be really struggling if she's on her own and like she's gonna be crying and trust me like and the guy just goes just sit there i don't care and i was like okay so then we sat on these seats and i'm still crying some panicking thing and someone's about to come over to me and go excuse me you're on my seat anyway and then jamie's just trying to get his attention for ages like are we all right to sit here like what's going on like blah blah and he goes boarding's complete and I was like you just put me through all that so anyway that was the first trauma for me yeah and then we land then Jamie realizes that he doesn't have like roaming abroad. So he doesn't have his phone. So then we're looking everywhere to buy a SIM card. So that was the next drama. Oh no, the first one

before that was we couldn't find our driver. Like we just couldn't find him anywhere in the whole airport. Yeah. And then we have the SIM card drama and then blah, blah, blah. We finally make our way to the hotel. And when we got there, I was like, oh, this is actually a beautiful place like it's all like white and cobbled and like all the apartments are beautiful but from the outside but the issue at this point was there's nothing here literally nothing here like was in the middle of nowhere basically i was like right okay what do we do because in my experience every time i've booked a hotel on holiday i'm always in an area where you can just walk out the door and you'll find a restaurant within five feet do you know what I mean and you'll find a bar and you'll find something to do and you can just walk your way into a night out um but here it was there was nothing there was literally like a tennis court um and an ice cream shop and like one very very very quiet restaurant and I was like where the hell are we

excuse me shaking your collar around yeah I'm trying to talk to my friends um yeah so then we're in the middle of nowhere so whatever we go in we go to the reception to check in and it's very dark very old like it's all dark oak there's like no lights in there bearing in mind it's night time when we get there as well and she's like she's very nice the woman there is very nice and she checked us in and she was like my dog is the loudest dog right now and she checks us in and then she's like let me show you to your room and we're like okay sure okay great well this is very luxury normally it's like yeah just that way that way that way have a nice day do you know what i mean but anyway she's like let me show you to your room i was like don't know if it's creepy or just really polite so anyway she shows us to our room and we walk in and it was just it was giving Jeffrey Dahmer like it was like a old

American motel vibe like the bed was basically on the floor the mattress was like I've got socks thicker than that mattress there was like one tiny pillow each a bed sheet um the shower was literally like a shower curtain and behind the shower curtain was like them little box showers with like them shower heads that you just like wash your hair with and it was really it was very clean so I was just I was trying to be positive I was like it's clean do you know what I mean it's clean it's absolutely fine we've got a balcony everything's going to be fine and then I was I was in that room for about 10 minutes and I was like something's just freaking me out about this room like I don't know I feel like I've gone back in time and I was just like getting freaked out and I think because in my head I really wanted just like a really nice

couple's holiday and I was like I just don't like it and listen I'm not snobby okay I've stayed in some absolute dives especially when I was young like we me and my mom me and my mom me and my family like we're working class my mom's got four kids so we just get the cheapest holidays we can get and make the most incredible memories and just have the most amazing time like it doesn't matter where you stay right but there was just something about this place I was like this is really scary like I don't know what it was it was just I think because the area was so quiet like if we was in like the albifera center or something like i probably could have just got on with it but it's because like we was in a really horrible room and

in the middle of nowhere so if i wanted to escape i was like where am i gonna fucking go and then anyway jamie was like right what we're gonna do is we're gonna leave now not like check out we're just gonna go out we're gonna walk as far as i need to fucking walk to find a freaking cocktail around there we're gonna sit down we're gonna go right we're on holiday now and we're gonna talk about what we're gonna do about this situation and i was just like okay and i was really trying not to get upset but i'm not not in a spoiled way more just was very overwhelmed, especially because of the day we'd had as well. Like I was just really overwhelmed and I was like, oh, like I'm scared. I'm scared. Anyway, we sat in a hotel, we sat in a cocktail bar and then we had a look on booking.com

and we found this like incredible place. It was literally like a villa, um, in Albufeira, like right in the middle. And it was really really cheap like it was like for three nights it was like 270 pound which i think is really fucking good because it will cost you 130 to stay in a premier in in london these days right for a night so we was like okay do you know what let's just fucking book it and let's just go and we booked it for the next day so we did spend the night in that hotel and then the next day we literally went spend the night in that hotel and then the next day we literally went to the beach all day to our local beach which was it was nice it was a beautiful beach like oh my god it's stunning like it was so different to like any beach I've ever seen like it

was more like it was very orange and like it was full of big cliffs and rocks it was like a hiker's beach not like a proper holiday maker's beach so we went there and there was no like bars on the beach, restaurants on the beach. It wasn't that kind of beach. It was more like a, like a beach with views. So we spent the day there and we was just sunbathing all day. And we was like, oh, I feel good now. Like we're on holiday now. Do you know what I mean? And then we went back, checked into the new place and it was fucking we went back checked into the new place and it was fucking insane it was the most beautiful place I think I've ever stayed like it was about nine apartments I'd say like in a big villa complex kind of thing with with like a private rooftop pool and there was only like one or two other apartments that had any people in that we saw like three people the the whole time we were there

until the end let me tell you that so So it was absolutely fucking amazing. And we were literally running around the apartment, like screaming with happiness. And then we, I tried to turn on the air con and music started blasting out of the ceiling. And I was like, this place just gets better and better. And it was just just amazing and to be fair when we checked out of the original hotel the woman was so nice she was actually like oh that's okay like don't worry about it like whatever because obviously we still just paid whatever we weren't like give me more fucking money like obviously we just like oh like we're just gonna go more towards the center like don't worry um so yeah and then we ended up so happy in this beautiful place right in albufeira

which was perfect because you could walk here. It was like a 30 minute walk because it wasn't like right down by the beach, but it was in Albufeira. So we were in a good spot, but we didn't really want to walk it because it was very hilly there. So we ended up getting Ubers like into, um, like the beach and town center and stuff. And it was two pound eighty for an uber it was fucking amazing um yeah so we had the most incredible thing like incredible few days there and we went to the beach we did a bit of shopping had loads of time around the pool drinking cocktails like it was just amazing right and then the last day comes right and bearing in mind our flight was at 8 p.m so we was aiming to get to the airport about 5 p.m

but we had to check out of our apartment at 11 because he said he had new guests coming in so we're like no problems whatever he said we can keep our bags in the place um and just hang out by the pool all day so he's like fucking stunning top up the tan just relax all day before we catch flight home absolutely gorgeous day probably my ideal type of day do you know what I mean so I'm the day before I started getting stomach cramps right and if you guys know you know I get the most insane periods I'm sure I've got endometriosis I've I've never been diagnosed with it so don't please don't think i'm saying i've got it but i've been to so many doctors about it and i've said look i have every symptom on the list you name it i fucking got it when i get my periods people have called like basically said to me right we're going to call you an ambulance because you're having a miscarriage and i'm always like

no i'm not having a miscarriage trust me this happens every time because i'll be like throwing up i'll be pale as fuck i'll be time. Because I'll be like throwing up. I'll be pale as fuck. I'll be sweating it out. I'll be, there's times where I've literally fainted. Once I like flipped off the toilet where I passed out. Because I was curled over with my head in between my legs. Just clutching onto my stomach.

And then I fainted. And I just like came back around. And I was like upside down on the toilet floor. With my toe would manage to split it open. I was pissing the toilet floor with my toe and managed to split it open. I was pissing with blood out of my toe and my purse. Right. So anyway, I get really, really bad periods. And every time I go to a doctor about it, I do have PCO. Like I don't think I have PCOS because I don't have the testosterone and stuff. They said I just have PCO, which is polycystic ovaries. So, but yeah yeah that doesn't explain a lot of my other symptoms

anyway so every time I go to a doctor they tell me just to go on the pill right this has relevance they tell me just to go on the pill because I take the mini pill which stops your periods which so in their heads they're like no periods no pains no problem right and I'm like right okay but what if I do have endometriosis we're just gonna pretend that's not happening until I want to have kids like what the fuck and they basically just say yeah worry about it when you want to have kids so anyway I've been on the pill for 10 years and it's terrified me the thought of how dangerous it can be to stay on it for that long and the the unknown of like what is a real period for me now because obviously when you're on the pill and you get your bleeding

it's not a real period so I was like do I even get real periods like have I lost my periods how regular are my periods because now I know I have pco but I didn't even know that before I was on the pill so like how regular are my periods going to be now because obviously that is that can just give you really irregular periods so anyway about three months ago I was like I'm stopping my pill I'm just I'm coming clean off it don't worry me and Jamie are using other methods I'm not trying for a baby and yeah so I came off my pill three months ago and I hadn't had a period for the last two months of my pill and then obviously three months since coming off my period I hadn't had one yet and I was getting I was

getting so anxious and upset thinking I've lost my periods I'm never gonna be able to have children like it's hard enough when you've got PCO now I'm not even going to have a period ever again because doctors have put me on the pill for 10 years and now I'm not going to have fucking periods and my chance to have children's just been taken away from me so I was always stressed about that and I told myself right when I get back from holiday I'm going to book a book a doctor's appointment and talk to them about my period see if there's anything they can do or look into whatever on the last day of my holiday I come on my fucking period listen a massive 90% of me was so happy to be on my period I was like thank you universe thank you whoever I have periods it's a fucking miracle I'm so happy it's my first real period

in 10 years and I was so happy but boy oh boy did it fucking up and I was in agony right the pain started getting really bad so I had like the lightest bit of spot in the day before the last day and then when I was sat around the pool we checked our bags I mean we checked out the hotel left our bags got in our bikinis well Jamie wasn't in a bikini I was in a bikini sat around the pool this lad shows up right he just checked in and he's northern so if you guys know northerners whenever they bump into anywhere and into each other anywhere it's oh mate where you from i'm from manchester where you from i'm from leeds oh no way it's all uproar from me yeah that's what northerners do right so they're chatting away

and this guy's like yeah there's like 34 of my mates showing up today i was like you're joking you're joking and he's like yeah we're here for a stag, I was like, I literally said to him, how do you have 34 friends, please somebody explain that to me, he wasn't the stag, he was just, like, invited on the stag day, but yeah, I was like, how does this guy have 35 friends, like, 34 friends, like, what the frick, anyway, he's like, yeah, it's gonna be pretty crazy, like, and they're all from Leeds, right, so I was like, right, this is just brilliant, and I said, right, okay, so what are your plans today, then, he's like, we're just gonna have a pool day so I was like right this is just brilliant and I said right okay so what are your plans today then he's like we're just gonna have a pool day I was like of course you are of course you fucking are when I could when I've got nowhere to go of course you're having a fucking pool day

anyway it was fine because he was such a nice guy and we had like a laugh with him and then like three other blokes showed up and we was all having a little giggle to get around paul having a good chat and that and i was totally fine and then my cramps started getting a bit worse and i thought oh fucking hell this is actually quite painful now bearing in mind i don't have any tampons and i wasn't wearing any because i'd only had a bit of spot in once the day before like literally a little tiny bit in the morning and then nothing for the rest of the day so i thought oh i'm not getting a period i'm just a bit spotting right so then 30 to however many lads start walking towards the apartment and they're like oh yo get your fucking cock out like proper lads lads lads on tour i thought fucking hell it's hell in here and I was like oh my god I'm just trying to have a nice

relaxing holiday with my boyfriend and then as I'm sunbathing on the sun lounger surrounded by 35 lads 36 including mine I was like uh-oh something's just fallen out of my vagina and i could just feel you know the difference you know the difference between discharge and blood and when when like water comes out your minge do you know what i mean you know when you get out of the pool sometimes that water comes out or like when you get out of the bath like water comes out right you know when it's blood it's just different and i was like i'm bleeding uh yeah i'm bleeding and jamie's like okay um well can you get in the water and like rinse i'm like no so you're not let's just get in the water just sorry guys don't mind the period blood just rinsing i was like no babe i can't do that if anything that's everything i

can't do i cannot get in that water now and it's fucking boiling by the way and i thought oh my god i am burning up and i didn't want to move because i And it's fucking boiling, by the way. And I thought, oh my God, I am burning up. And I didn't want to move because I thought, it's going to be all over my fucking towel. It's going to be all over my towel. And I was wearing like a grey and white bikini. And I was like, oh, it's going to be blood city down there when I stand up. I thought, I don't know how heavy I am yet.

I don't know how my periods work. I don't know if it's just going to be like a little bit in my pants or if I'm going to stand up it's going to be down my legs Niagara Falls do you know what I mean so I was like oh my god I don't know what to do so I just like froze there for like about 10 minutes I was like if maybe if I just lay here it will go away and then it all got a bit too much with these guys, and I was like, I need to leave, like, I need to leave, I'm panicking now, I'm panicking, and I was like, Jamie was just trying to help, he was, like, trying to give me all these suggestions, and I thought, I need to get up and see the situation, and I turned to the side on the sun lounger, and just opened my legs to

Jamie in a private corner, and I said, just let me know if you can see blood, just let me know, so I opened my legs, spread an eagle, as slyly as I can he's trying to look at my pussy without it looking like I'm just going yeah you want that so he looks and he's like I can't see anything and I was like okay thank god for that so I stood up and I thought let me just go and put my feet in the pool for a bit because I'm fucking roasting and I'm getting all stressed so let me just go and cool my feet down in this nice pool water and I'm sat there and I thought shit this this brick wall is wet right so when I get up there's gonna be fucking blood like watery blood where I've been sat I was like shit what have I done what have I done I've made a mistake I've made a mistake I can't believe I've done this anyway I had to I just thought and then

anyway I did like a little rotation and I spread my legs and looked down to check if there was blood on the wall and there wasn't so I was like okay well obviously we're not talking too much blood at this point bearing in mind I can't go to a toilet because I've checked out of our room we're just in like private villas that it's not like a reception I can go into the public toilet there's no public toilet so I was like fuck what am I gonna do till 5 p.m bearing in mind it's not like a reception i can go into the public toilet there's no public toilet so i was like fuck what am i gonna do till 5 p.m bearing in mind it's half past 12 at this point in the afternoon i've got four and a half hours for this and then we was like weighing up our options and we said okay let's go to the beach we'll leave well no no i said we'll take our bags to the fucking beach we had a suitcase and two carry-on bags

and i said we'll find a beachfront restaurant put the bags under the table and we will just sit there and drink sangria for four hours bearing in mind my cramps are getting worse worse the pressure is getting worse right i was like shit this is getting a lot worse and we said we're just gonna have to go to the beach because i can't stay here i ain't staying there i love ya but i ain't staying here i was like i can't there's no toilet i'm surrounded by 35 piss heads right now trying to have a good time and i feel like i'm bringing the mood down because they're just trying to be polite around me and i don't want them to have to do that i want them to be able to just go fucking crazy and have this place to themselves let's get out of the way so we go to where our

bags were kept and we I did like a little test I wiped my puss to see how bloody it was and it was fine like it was only like a little bit but it was there there was blood it wasn't like I was dripping thick clots or anything sorry guys that's fucking gross but oh come on you know if you get periods you know so anyway and then we bumped into one of the ladies that was cleaning the apartments and jamie said to her do you have any tampons and she didn't speak english so then he put it on her on his translate on his phone and then thank this woman my guardian angel sent to me right she had a fucking tampon she found a tampon for me out of the cleaning cupboard oh my god i cannot tell you the relief i had to go into a corner in this car garage and pop in a tampon just standing up and pop it in stood up if my boyfriend still loves me after this day i truly

believe nothing will break us you know so anyway i'm tamponed in there's a plug i'm plugged in right i was like i'm all right now no i can't leak at this point now my problem is i'm in absolute agony when i tell you agony i felt like i you agony, I felt like I was going to pass out, felt like I was going to vomit. And then you're in this like 30 degree heat. I was like, oh my God, what am I going to do? Jamie just books us an Uber. We go straight to the beach. And luckily we found this like bar on the beach that had a top level and there was nobody sat up there. And there was like loads of really nice, nice comfortable chairs umbrellas so we could keep the bags under in the shade and we sat up there all day drinking sangria playing cards and there was a public toilet

so i could go to the toilet sort myself out get changed everything and it turned out all right it turned out all right in the end but i cannot tell you the trauma I've been through. But overall, it was an amazing holiday and I had an amazing time. I love the Portuguese people, the nicest people, like what the fuck, literally so nice. The beaches are beautiful, like so unique to like a lot of places i've been like so many caves and stuff and they were they were just stunning the sea was really nice as we know i don't swim in the sea especially after all these shark attacks shark attacks no thank you um the restaurants was so nice the food was good i had this amazing steak pasta on the last night we sat on the beach we timed it

perfectly we watched the sunset over the beach sat on a restaurant we had the table closest to the sea and it was just fucking amazing like me and jamie just kept looking at each other like this is my favorite night like this is just amazing this is amazing this is amazing and i got some really cute photos i can't lie so um follow me on instagram and show some love love you guys so that is my holiday rundown I wanted to have a proper catch-up since I missed an episode on Friday and yeah I just as I was on holiday I'd literally Jamie even Jamie would say this to me like I bet you can't wait to tell the girls on the pod I was like I honestly can't wait to tell them about this period drama and the boys although you probably don't want to hear about my periods but whatever so yeah guys i had an amazing holiday portugal was gorgeous but my periods

made it hell and um the stag do was not ideal but it was fine do you know what i mean so would i recommend a voucher holiday no because let me break it down for you, right? We paid £130 each. We got two nights in Portugal and then we paid another £200. Wait, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, £200. So another £100 each. So it turned out £330 at this point each. Sorry, £230 at this this point each and that was to add two nights because we fought two nights in portugal it's just not enough i want to see it i mean so we did four nights we fought 230 quid that's actually a bargain four nights in portugal 330 quid sweet and then we added 30 pound to change our flight time because they were flying us out on the first night getting there at night and on the last day we were leaving early morning so we said how much is it to change

our flight to a late flight on the last day and he said 30 quid so we thought fuck it it's only 30 quid so at this point it's 260 pound per person so already it's gone from 130 pound per person to 260 pound bearing in mind this is all our own choices right so don't don't think that i'm saying oh my god we've been scammed like obviously we know we could have had 130 pound holiday we could have just gone for two nights in portugal and done it for 180 quid so if that's what you'd want to do do it but we wanted like more of a proper trip so we was like fuck it we was willing to pay it it's still really cheap yeah and then we had to pay to add a bag because we was like this isn't just this with Ryanair their bags are

fucking tiny and we were like I have a lot of liquids oh fuck it like I'd rather just have a have a case that we just paid like the 10 kg the little case just to check in so we could bring as many liquids as we want and just have that extra weight you know what I mean and that cost I cannot remember off the top of my head but I want to say 50 quid or 60 quid I think it was 60 because I'm pretty sure it's like 30 or 35 each way which may have made it 70 so let's just say 60 we'll go in the middle right so what's the price at this point about what did I say was on 230 so 260 at this point per person and then we realized we need to sort airport transfers which was 70 quid so that's like another 35 each so let's round this up we're on 300 pound a person now so we've

already gone from 130 to 300 bearing in mind airport transfers isn't an added luxury like that you do need that so we paid for that and then we wait there was other things oh and then we paid to change our flights which was 20 pound each way so 20 pound each so 320 quid I'm losing count of my math right now so now I'm on 320 so we're up 200 quid pretty much sorry now so now we're 320 so we're up 200 quid pretty much um and then we got to our apartment and realized we just couldn't stay there it was kind of scary and in the middle of nowhere we would have ended up spending a lot of money on transfers into albufeira every day so then we paid 270 pound again this was just a choice like Like we could have stayed there. We just chose not to. We paid £270 to move apartments.

So what's that in half? £135. So now this is £400 and something each. So basically, we did all the maths and it worked out that with all the things that we added, obviously a lot of them were just choices that we made with all the things that we added it turned out to be like 500 pound a person which i don't think is that bad considering how incredible the holiday was and how amazing it was but obviously that's without any money that you spend out there so yeah that's what i would just say it's up to you depending on whether you just want

to literally get what you're given and not pay for any extra baggage and not pay for like changing your flight times not pay for extra days and stuff then you will get like a two-day trip to portugal for 148 quid which i do genuinely think is really really good um and like i said if the hotel was in a better location I would have just stayed there because you don't spend much time in the in the hotel anyway so it wouldn't have been that big of a deal if it was just in a better location so but some people just get really lucky and they get like the most amazing places so yeah that's my thoughts on the welter mystery holiday if anybody was thinking about doing it i did say i would feed back on

whether i would recommend it or not so yeah that's me being totally transparent about it okay that was a 30 minute intro but like i said i just wanted to catch up properly like i hate missing an episode and i wanted to tell you all about the holiday to be honest so yeah thank you for listening to that long story And let's just get back into the normal swing of things. It's a normal Tuesday, so we will be doing a weekly debate and dilemmas. Let's get straight into the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Leah on the Line. Remember to leave a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and hit the notification bell.

You can send in your confessions and dilemmas to Leah on the Line at gmail.com and follow me on socials at Leah on the Line and at Leah Levine to see visual clips of the podcast. I love you. Enjoy the episode. Okay, everybody, get comfy. This is going to be a long episode I'm seeing because I've already been talking for half an hour and we haven't even got into the proper episode yet. But I hope you guys are in for it. You know, this is going to be be a long ride let me know if you stay till the end love you so much okay the weekly debate this week is honestly how important are looks versus personality hi it's Fido start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget we have everything you need for an A-plus year.

Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side. I don't feel like we've properly discussed this as a weekly debate.

So I know we did. Would you be able to be with somebody if you didn't fancy them initially? But I don't think we've discussed like how important are looks versus personality. So let's have a look what you guys are saying we have a lot of responses to this one it says I know it's shallow but I need to find them attractive otherwise I won't make effort I think I'm the same to be honest with you there I need an initial attraction but if you've got no chat it's immediately no yeah a hundred percent like there's a lot of times where you can meet someone who's like oh my god they're fucking gorgeous and then it's immediately no yeah 100% like there's a lot of times where you can meet someone it's like oh

my god they're fucking gorgeous and then it's literally like talking to a brick wall and you're like wow okay I'm gonna get really bored of how good looking you are do you know what I mean I'd say half and half but personality for me sets someone's looks off massively yeah I agree this is the thing like you could meet somebody and be like yeah they're all right like not my usual type but you know I can appreciate they're they're okay and then you get to know them and they're like really funny really kind and then you're like they're so attractive do you know what i mean and the other way you can meet someone and you're like oh my god they're so fucking sexy and then you get to know them and they're just a dick and all of a

sudden you're like you're ugly mate do you know what i mean obviously no one's ugly you know what i mean looks are important at first but personality is more important overall looks important initially but personality is what makes a relationship last yes this is the thing we can't marry the way somebody looks because well i mean you can but how happy is that going to make you you know it's 50 50 for me i think you have to find the other person physically attractive yeah do you know what it's interesting to say 50 50 because i've never thought about what percentage matters to me because this is the thing i have been with people or dated people whatever where they're not really my type and i don't like massively fancy them and I've always found that them ones are actually the ones that are fucking dicks and in my experience like Jamie my boyfriend now I've never fancied anyone as much

as I fancy him and he is the nicest like most giving person like he is just such a giver he will do anything he can to make me happy so his personality and looks are just the best but i have been with someone who like your looks are just like you're good looking but at the same time it's like you're not good looking enough to treat me like that you know what i mean do you know what i mean no do you know what i mean anyway i find you start to find them physically attractive if their personality is yeah i agree with you there. Low key equally as important. I don't really feel attracted to someone if I don't know their personality or don't like it. Yeah, see, this is the thing. I know a lot of people are like, oh, I'm a personality girl. I'm a personality guy.

But it's like, surely you've got to look at someone and want to talk to them first before you get to know their personality. Or are you, do you mean that like your intentions aren't ever romantic it's just that you like get to know someone and then you like wait i kind of fancy you do you know what i mean um have to find them attractive but a good personality can make someone so much more attractive i do agree with you 100 you have to have initial attraction but then i feel they become better looking with personality yeah agreed as long as i don't look at you and think ew we're all good i'm a personality girly 100 yeah i love that personality is so important you can't be truly happy with someone if they only have good looks

personality is the biggest thing but i need to fancy you and want to have sex yeah see this is the thing it's about sex isn't it like it's all well and good going yeah you know they're nice looking but like do you look at them and think good going yeah you know they're nice looking but like do you look at them and think fuck me do you know what i mean because that's how you want to feel looks attract us personality depends whether we stay oh my god you've literally summed it up perfectly that's it's it i love that from you yeah i'm with you on that i'm keeping that definitely needs to be an initial attraction but their personality is the most important part um looks that personality is a no-go yeah i'd say looks to personality 2080 okay well i'd like to know i should have asked that i'd like

to know what percent are you what percent personality what percent looks because i'd say I'm 50, I'd say I'm 60% personality, 40% looks, to be honest, if I'm being very honest here. Because, and that doesn't mean that I wouldn't be with somebody who I didn't think like, oh my fucking God, you're amazing. I just mean, how do I describe this? Basically, okay, I know, somebody could have the most incredible personality in the world. But if I don't fancy you, I can't, you're just going to have to be my friend. Do you know what I mean? So that's why I'd say it's 60% personality, because that's more important to me that's what's going to make me happy that's what's going to bring into my life and what's going to make us connect but the 40 is so high because it's like you could be bang on with the personality but

it's not enough to be honest if I don't if I don't want to have sex with you do you know what I mean or if I don't get giddy when we're dating yeah so basically you guys are pretty much the majority of you are agreeing that your personality makes you more attractive personality is mostly more important but I need to find you attractive because that is the only difference that is the only thing setting you aside from my friends is that i fancy you and i don't fancy my friends do you know what i mean that is the only thing taking us over that line so yeah okay great weekly debate guys thank you so much for sending in all of your responses i love and appreciate every single one of you if you're not following leah on the line on instagram make sure you go and do that right now so you can get involved, get in the chat, get in the convo. Do you know what I mean, babe?

All right, let's get into some dilemmas. Okay, everybody. These dilemmas, they're looking good. They're looking difficult. Okay, I'm going to give it my best shot. So here we go. Let's start off with this one. Love you all so much. Hey girl, absolutely love you and the podcast day one listener here. Oh my God, I love you so much. Thank you. Okay, I wish I wasn't having to write in for a dilemma, but here we are. So me and my now husband, husband, she's a wife guys, have been together for 13 years wow long term long term that is literally over half my life oh my gosh i'm 27 so yeah it's nearly half your life because double your life that would be half your life would be four thirteen and a half yeah basically basically half your life would be four. Thirteen and a half. Basically, half your life you've been with this guy. I'm 27 and he's 29 for reference.

He has always had quite a short fuse and stresses out to the point where he just gets angry at stupid things and then causes a massive argument which just isn't needed at all. Oh my God, you're fucking draining me, hon. Stop, do you know what I mean? You're draining me, babe. He has quite a physical job and I work from home, but when it comes to the house and doing stuff, everything is 50-50. But sometimes he acts as if I don't do anything and always makes comments that he works harder than me, which obviously pisses me off to the max. Right, do you know what pisses me off? So what? Obviously, I'm not saying you do. Fuck that. Right. But say it was a fact that he worked

harder than you. So what? Do you know what I mean? Your job might just be harder than mine. So what? That doesn't that doesn't degrade my job. Do you know what i mean like fucking hell i don't get that anyway when he gets angry he doesn't always say the nicest things and sometimes even goes back to his mums at 29 yeah at your big age and then she says man child i know i just don't know what to do i love him but i can't help thinking this will never change and that I could be bringing our future children up in this situation which I do not want at all it's so hard as when we're good we are amazing and everything would be perfect if it wasn't for his temper he's like it with other people too not just me right so it's a him problem really

I have tried telling him how i feel and then he will apologize but it just happens again i just don't know what to do any advice would be appreciated love you girl i love you so much see this is the tough thing and i've been in your situation bear in mind i have not been married and with the person 13 years which makes it a lot harder but i've been in your situation where you feel like everything would just be so perfect if you would just stop doing this one thing. I'm asking one thing and it'll be fucking perfect. Why can't you just give me that? Right? And I know that frustrating feeling because you can touch it. You can almost touch that perfect, like perfected relationship that you've experienced and you can almost touch it full time.

You can just see it and you've had it and you just want it all the time. And I know that feeling, right? But what I want to say to you is I heard recently, do not choose a man that you would not choose to bring up your daughter, right? And your sons as well. But you know, that was just the quote. So when you've said it makes you scared that you're going to bring your children up into this environment it's almost like well that says a lot you know that says what what we've learned is this ain't gonna fucking work this how he's being now it's not good enough right so he's got two options lose you or sort it out sort shit out and i think we need to have a conversation of maybe it's a bit of anger management a bit of

counseling a bit of deep breathing a bit of self-awareness a bit of meditation whatever it is you've got to do it for me you've got to do it for yourself you've got to do it for other people around you you've got to do it for your future children and he's got to want to do it and unfortunately if someone doesn't want to do it they will never do it and they won't just magically change and i know the feeling where you're just like it's been like this for so long and you think they keep telling you oh yeah i'll sort it out i'll sort it out i'll sort it out you're not sorting it out and i think the more somebody shows you themselves like this the more you've got to listen to it and you've got to love yourself more

than you love this man because if it's not making you feel happy that is the most important thing you know so i think it's a situation where he's either got to really put in the work to sort out this anger because it's not fair and just grow up a bit so go back to your fucking mom's house you're 30 next year babe or this year who knows or this is over and it's not gonna work because i deserve better than this so either you're going to give me the better or I'm going to go out and somebody else will give it to me. There's your options, babe. Because essentially it's very simple what I'm asking you to do. Just do a bit of work. I'm here. I'm with you through this. It's going to be a journey. I

don't expect you to change overnight. I don't expect any fast rapid progress I just expect progress I expect effort I expect willingness to change this particular part of you because I love you and I love everything else about you but this this part is overwhelmingly difficult and it's making my life very exhausting and difficult and I'm making a choice now so you're either gonna work with me to work on this part of you or we're gonna just say this is the end of the road that might be brutal but I think it's the case for me it would be it's like well I don't like it and if you're not doing nothing about it then you live you leave me no choice I'm not going to choose it why would i choose this if you're choosing it doesn't mean i need to choose it it doesn't mean i need to be with someone like that i don't and i won't do you know what i mean

so yeah take with that what you will have a little think about it what you want to say to him how you want to word it but just understand that you have every right to feel what you're feeling and it would be nice to see some willingness to change not just okay yeah I'm sorry I'll work on it maybe you can't do this on your own maybe we just need a bit of support and that's fine I'll be so proud of you if you did that and I find that very attractive you know I love you babe good luck with all of that let me know how it all goes okay next one hi Leah I love your podcast so much i just wish there was more oh god girl i'm exhausted as it is i love you if i had more time there'd

be an episode every week every i mean every day okay i need some help me and my boyfriend are longish distance two hours i don't drive so i get the train there most weekends when i see him we have such a nice time and everything is fine however when i go home his communication is awful we both work nine to five jobs so don't speak until like six every evening so when he goes out he barely texts me kind of acts like i don't exist, to be honest. Okay. Rude. Communication is a big thing to me, and I've told him this so many times. I'm at the point where I'm actually bored of having the same conversation, and it's draining me and making me upset. Yeah, I know that. I know that. At the start of the relationship, he was obsessed with me. He would call me,

text all the time, especially when he was out i'm not expecting that now because obviously the honeymoon period is over after us being together three years i just wanted some advice i feel drink i feel drained deflated and upset and constantly think if he wanted to he would what's your opinion love you so this is difficult because i definitely know that boys and girls we get too comfortable sometimes and sometimes we just don't feel the need to be texting and calling and I do think it's very normal to an extent but I think I don't think it should ever disappear like I think to be obsessed with someone at the beginning obviously you're not gonna maintain that for the rest of our lives

usually sometimes you might in the odd occasion they might but a lot of the time it's okay you don't need to be fucking obsessed with me just just love me and respect me do you know what i mean um so this is a difficult one because the nine to five thing makes makes it harder to sort of argue that it's more the going out that sounds like a bit of an issue um because i know from experience and i know i keep doing this i'm not trying to make this about me i'm just hoping you might be able to relate to this feeling i know from experience that feeling of i don't want when it when i'm asking you why don't you text me when you go on a night out why do i never hear from you when they do it doesn't feel good because it's like well you're just doing this because I've give you shit for it so they kind of can't win once they've already made that choice to not

text you and not communicate with you and then you give them shit for it or just ask them to do it and then when they do it it can kind of just feel a bit like you still don't want to do it you're still not doing this because you want to and because you're thinking about me and because you love me you're doing it because you're trying to stay in the good books so it's kind of hard once you've communicated that that is an issue it's easy to understand um sorry easy I think I meant to say it's important to understand that you know it's very normal for dynamics to change after the honeymoon period and stuff but I do think it should always feel like not obsessive like you should always feel like you're together and you're a team and it's you two and and you should always just know that in

your stomach and you shouldn't have doubts about you know how do you feel about me blah blah obviously it happens all the time and especially when it comes to anxiety and overthinking like don't get me wrong it's so easy to work yourself into that sort of state. But what I'm saying is, relationships should just feel good most of the time. Like they just should. Otherwise, why are we doing that? Why are we in it? Do you know what I mean? So I would maybe think that there might be a conversation that needs to be had about like, where should we work on our relationship outside of this like should we make more time for each other i just literally pointed

the mic away from my face like is it a case of we need to build our connection up a little bit again which might make you think about me more when you go on nights out and you might i might be on your mind more because you feel happier because because we're a little bit closer recently do you know what I mean so I feel like maybe it's a sign that you're just feeling a little bit distant from each other because like I said it's difficult to tell somebody I need you to text me more because when they do it's you still don't get that nice feeling because you know they're not doing it because they want to whereas if you work on the relationship and how close you are and the quality time you're spending together or whatever and then they're messaging you more you know that that's come from a place of love and it's genuine so yeah

I would maybe consider that I don't know if that's good advice or not but I love you and I hope everything works out for you too I'm sure you will will. I'm sure it will. I love you so much. Next dilemma. Okay, this one says, cheating on lads holidays. Hi, Leah. I just wanted to say you're smashing the pod. Long time listener here and never thought I'd be writing in. Oh, I love you so much.

And I'm sorry we're having a dilemma, but I'm here. Let's do this. In April, I started messaging this boy. We'll call him Ben I met him once and instantly clicked but I had girls holiday booked to go to Tenerife a week later I fucking love Tenerife it's the best place ever it's the best holiday I told Ben all about it and he was fine with it saw me two days after I'd landed and listened to everything that I'd done while I was there fast forward to this week Ben tells me he has a holiday

coming up, which he had booked before knowing me. Weirdly, it was in the same place in Tenerife that I'd gone to in April. Okay. He didn't say that at the time I went, that he had this planned, which I thought was weird, but moved on from it. Yeah. Like if somebody was like, oh, I'm going to Costa Deji in Tenerife, you'd be like, oh, no way, I'm going there in April or whenever he's going. Do you know what I mean? You're like, oh, that's crazy. I'm going there. And especially when you're telling him all about your holiday, he'd naturally be like, oh, that's sick. Like, I'll do that when I go. Do you know what I mean? Interesting. I get the feeling he didn't book this before, but maybe he did. I don't know. I said it's hard because we're both getting feelings now

he flew on thursday i had flowers and chocolate sent to my house friday morning from him oh my god i had no worries at all about him even though he's technically fully single as we are only seeing each other okay so we haven't had a conversation about exclusivity by the sounds of things he reassured me his mindset is just a drinking holiday and that he's all about me being a little bit psycho i checked his following it had gone up by one oh no this girl happened to be in tennery from her story oh shit i. I asked him about it. Oh no. Who's this fucking girl? Hey, who's the fucking girl you follow? She's from fucking Tenerife. I've seen it on a story. Sometimes you just got to know the answer, ain't you? I asked him about it. He said he's just making friends out here. Am I stupid for carrying on to speak to this boy or am I

outside out of mind? Thank love you okay listen babe there's a big possibility that he's flirting with a girl on Tenerife and he's got her on Instagram but and I know you're like Leah shut the fuck up that's not what I want to hear bitch but just listen to me I actually think that's okay now Now listen, listen, listen, listen. We, how long have you guys been seeing each other? I think you did mention, um, you started talking in April, April, May, June. Okay. It's early days ish. It's early days. It's early days. So what I want to say to you is rather than freaking out, Oh my my god what if he's talking to this girl what if he really fancies her we need to think okay there's a big possibility

he is literally just making friends you know but let's say he is flirting with her whatever and he fancies her it doesn't matter how about that how about so what how about he's going to come home from tenerife and if he's had sex with her hopefully he'll have the decency to tell me and we'll be fine you know i'll decide what i want to do once i've got that information i'd appreciate the honesty to be honest he's not he doesn't owe me anything we're not exclusive you know i just appreciate the honesty it's early days how about that mindset i know there's probably so many people thinking leah what the actual fuck but listen listen listen listen listen only because i think it's normal i think it's totally

normal if i was seeing someone very loosely and you know it wasn't serious yet and we weren't exclusive and I was on holiday, I'll be flirting. I'll be flirting. I'll be chatting to boys. And if they went on holiday and we weren't exclusive and it wasn't deep and it wasn't serious yet, I'd expect the same from him. However, I have just remembered he sent you flowers and stuff to your house. I have just remembered he sent you flowers and stuff to your house. So yeah, this is my genuine thoughts. I think that he is serious about you and he does fancy the fuck out of you and he does want to see where things go with you. And he is thinking about you and he is serious, blah, blah, blah.

But I do think there is a possibility that he's just met this girl with his mates and he's like, yeah, she's quite fit and might have just had a night where he's like what's your insta blah blah and that that was probably it you know but he is serious about you and he does really like you but it is early days so he's not in the mindset of don't look at girls don't talk to girls don't fancy girls do you know what i mean because he's just not there yet and you're not exclusive yet so that's just the way it is but i don't think that means he's not mad about you do you know what I'm saying I do think it's normal to be like because put it this way say you was in your mindset that you are now and you went on a holiday and you've seen a bloke that you really fancied and he's like what's your insta and you told each other your instagrams

that wouldn't mean that you don't actually want to go home and see where things go with Ben it just means that you're still single and you're not in that commitment mindset yet and you're just seeing someone a little bit sexy and that's that's as deep as it is so I just think maybe just try to be chill and just try to be like you know I will ask him when he gets back if anything's happened and just say oh you can be honest with me like like you know we're not exclusive or anything just be honest with me and hopefully he is and then i think after this holiday is when you could have the exclusivity chat if that's something you do want do you know what i mean if you know if he hasn't done anything of anyone else and just you know or even if he has if that's something you still want just be like look i i don't like this feeling

of like wondering if you're talking to other people so like are we exclusive are we not like is that something you want you know i don't think there's anything wrong with that sometimes i feel like i give advice and people listen like no leah leah please i hope this girl does not listen to her but you know i'm just your bestie giving you my personal opinion on that it's probably easier said than done. Like, if I was in your shoes, I'd be fucking losing my shit, to be honest. But whatever. Okay.

Let's do another dilemma. Okay, another lads holiday one. Oh, love you to the last, babe. Love you so much. My boyfriend is going on a lads holiday to Zante in a few weeks. Although I don't have any reason not to trust him, I'm still a bit nervous about him him going he's going at the same time that i'm going on a family holiday though so i guess i won't have time to overthink as much than i would if i was stuck at home any advice okay yeah it definitely helps that you're also on holiday my advice is get some sexy bikini content sexy

holiday content yeah so his heart is pounding in Zanty for you, babe. I'm joking. What I think is you will just, it's one of them things where when your boyfriend or girlfriend goes on a lads or girls holiday, we just have to just trust them because there is nothing else we can do. You know, you can drive yourself crazy.

You can message them. You haven't spoken to anyone, have you? You don't fancy anyone, have you? You haven't had sex on me. You haven't cheated on me, blah, blah, crazy. You can message them. You haven't spoken to anyone, have you? You don't fancy anyone, have you? You haven't had sex on me. You haven't cheated on me. You can do that. But it is fucking pointless. We choose peace.

We choose trust and love. And we choose the universe will always work in my favor. We choose the truth always comes out. So why would I be stressed and worrying? I can just sit back and trust this person. And if anything out of the ordinary did happen, So why would I be stressed and worrying? I can just sit back and trust this person. And if anything out of the ordinary did happen, I will know about it eventually and I will deal with it then.

But me sitting here and stressing and panicking about it isn't gonna help. It's just gonna ruin my peace. It's just gonna ruin everything. So we choose trust. We choose, I'm fucking incredible. So if you did disrespect me, that's fucking embarrassing from you because look at me. Okay, that's the mentality you choose.

Okay. Because we choose peace and love. We choose peace and love. Have the best time, babe. Be good. Yeah. Okay. Have the best time.

How about keep your location on? You know what? Sometimes location can be a bad thing because you'll be checking it every second and then you get into this like toxic way but yeah anyway love you i just you know you're amazing don't doubt how incredible you are you're absolutely the best thing that's ever happened to this guy remember that so have fun on your holiday babe and get some sexy content okay oh i love you guys let's wrap up the episode okay you guys thank you so much for listening to this episode if you made it to the end we're best friends for life it's official i love you and appreciate you so much whatever you guys

want to do on friday for the episode let me know send me a dm right now any ideas that you've got make sure you're following me on instagram at leah on the line so you can get involved with your weekly debate responses with any dilemmas, any questions, any polls that I put up, whatever it is, it's all happening at Leah on the line. Also follow my personal Instagram while we're here at Leah Levine. That's where I reply to most of your DMs and like have proper chats with you guys. Also on TikTok at Leah Levine whilst i'm doing some shameless promoting and yeah i love you i hope you all had a great week last week because i didn't catch up with you properly until now i've missed you so good to be back i can't wait to talk to you on friday i don't know what the episode will be we could do the um You Rather Red Flags edition

because we did X last time. We could do the Red Flags one because that was a 50-50 poll for which one you wanted. So we could do that one. So let me know if that's what you want. And yeah, I love you so much. Have an amazing week. And I will speak to you on Friday for a brand new episode.

All right. I love you. Bye. phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido, at your side.