Leah on the Line - 73: Can you have a hot girl summer in a relationship & wedding invites DRAMA!

Episode Date: July 3, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your confessions/dilemmas. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leera on the line happy to yours day i'm really ill i'm so ill i almost didn't do this episode. But we missed an episode on Friday. The reason being family emergency. I can't actually say anything, to be honest, very personal. But yeah, it was a family emergency. I couldn't record an episode. I had the whole episode planned. I've got all the stories ready to go. So it will be coming on Friday this week. But basically, I'm going to do an episode um like funny stories where you guys have met the parents of your partner or friends and I've got some really good stories I cannot wait to read so yeah I was kind of gutted I couldn't do that episode because I genuinely feel like it's going

to be a really funny one but yeah I had a family emergency and then I'm now really fucking ill and I just took a COVID test because I was like this has to be COVID like this is so horrendous this has to be COVID turns out it's not I don't know what this deathly is but it's not fun anyway have I ever told the story about when I had COVID over Christmas it was the Christmas before this podcast ever was a thing like it was the my podcast first came out January 2022 yep and I had COVID in the December before that so let me tell you the story because I don't actually think I've ever told it right so I was just chilling at home living in London at the time and I was about to come home for Christmas okay and I was like I had home for Christmas okay and I was like I had a sore throat but like I was like I definitely don't have COVID that's fucking sore throat do I

mean um I'd never had COVID at this point I had I was double vaxxed definitely did not have COVID in my mind right um I had Christmas coming up in about five six days time can't remember roughly um and then i had a holiday coming up from the 28th of december in gran canaria so not a good time to get covid right i reckon this must have been around the 20th of december so i was like oh let me just take a take a test for the bands right this is when everyone used to have the test just lying around their houses and i used to take them all the time just i find like i find it really fun don't i mean um and like every now and then i'd be like oh maybe like i've got covid today like oh and i would never and i was always a bit like god i've never had covid isn't that a bit crazy like part of me was a bit like what's

it like do you know what i mean like what's it like and then the other part of me was like i just never want it thank you very much but anyway so i took this test and the light the liquids going up the test and before it even gets to the control line once it gets to the test result line we've got two lines i was like fuck i've actually got covid it's christmas in about five days time and i put it in my family group chat. I was like, guys, I've got, I've got, I've got the cove. I've got the COVID. Do you know what I mean? Family were like, well, you're just going to have to do a test on Christmas Eve and hope for the best darling, because what can we really do at this point? So I was like, brilliant. Anyway,

living with my ex at the time and his best friend, they were like, yeah, you're going to have to live in the bedroom from now on. So I got summoned the bedroom i was locked in there um and i was testing on the daily right i was testing on the daily and sorry my throat is so dry and every single day i would literally i'd wave this little swab past my nostril because I was that desperate for a negative result wave it past my nostril and it'd still be like COVID like it would still pick up as a positive result I was like fucking hell not only have I got COVID I have got it I've seriously got it anyway I lost my sense of smell I lost my sense of taste all for like two days and it just came straight back um and then god it feels weird to be talking about covid again god throwback honestly remember when that's all anyone used to talk about how

exhausting was that sorry guys anyway so yeah it got to christmas eve and i still had covid and i was absolutely gutted i remember crying my eyes out every single day in this fucking box in this room in this fucking room right i couldn't even step outside for some air it was hell it was fucking it was hell in there right and then my ex and his friend at the time was like oh i think we're gonna spend christmas here and i was like no way there is no way please go home to your families they they weren't doing it to like keep me company by the way they were doing it just because they thought let's just have a nice Christmas together in the flat and I was like please please go home for Christmas so that I can leave this bedroom just

as as my own Christmas present for the day I can leave this room for the first time in a week please please please please please almighty right anyway they finally it gets they stayed on Christmas Eve and I was devastated to be honest because I was so desperate I started to lose my mind I remember thinking like I'm never going gonna leave this room i remember i actually lost the plot i remember thinking i don't think i'm ever gonna see another four walls again i think i might die in here and then they left on christmas morning and it was really it was really quite awful to be honest because his friend was like playing music out loud and it was like i don't want to sing a christmas song right now that feels criminal but it was like a really happy Christmas song on Christmas morning

while he was getting ready to go home and see his family and I was a bit like this is just hell like oh I don't even know how I'm gonna survive this emotion what I'm feeling right now it was so much it was way too much and yeah and then they finally left and then I could leave the room and I just opened that bedroom door and I literally broke down into then I could leave the room and I just opened that bedroom door and I literally broke down into tears and collapsed on the ground because I was so relieved to just leave that room it sent me crazy in that bedroom and I was gutted and I was on FaceTime to my family and everything right and I was they was all eating Christmas dinner around the table and everyone was really sad for me and I was just sat there and I had no food in nothing and I was just that was probably one of

the hardest days of my life no joke it was so emotionally challenging like being alone in London in a flat after absolute torment locked in a bedroom like that was absolute hell it's absolutely hell anyway um and then I was literally positive for every single day until the day we flew literally until the day we flew and I was negative it was crazy but um yeah that was actually a crazy time and that is the I can't remember if I've had COVID since then I don't think I have but yeah I'm pretty sure that's the one and only time I've had COVID and it was literally it couldn't have been a worse time it was hell it was so scary I just remember being like I hope you two test fucking positive so I can come out of this room they never did they didn't catch it which I honestly don't know how but yeah that was that was a rough time but anyway what a negative night for me to start

on i'm just i need to share i'm one of the people that when i'm not well like i really struggle mentally i want to just cry i hate it i hate not being well i hate when my body hurts you know what i mean when your body just hurts to move and it just aches and you're in pain it's like oh i just want to fill up myself again and i feel so unproductive and i hate it i went to go get my nails done today i went to my original nail shop she's like it's a two hour wait i thought fuck that darling went to my backup nail shop she said it's an hour wait i thought i can't do this today i literally can't do this anymore i can't do anymore anyway so yeah no nails and i'm ill well i have got nails but they're like halfway down my fucking finger it's actually quite disgusting anyway hope you guys are all okay miss you guys i hope you're

all not ill like me and feeling positive what a what a beautiful start to the week for me but it's okay because i've got six other days of this week it's currently a monday i've got six other days of this week to smash to smash it out do you know what I mean I'm gonna wake up tomorrow I'm gonna book an appointment for my nails tomorrow morning I'm gonna wake up tomorrow get them done look gorgeous think I might get some pink tips you know almond shaped pink tips I think that's what I'm gonna go for but anyway I hope you guys are feeling good today and I've missed you I missed you on Friday I was really gutted I couldn't get that episode out in time but it's coming this week and hopefully it's as

good as I'm hoping it's going to be and yeah love you guys so much hope you're all feeling really really good let's get into the episode thank you so much for listening to Leah on the line head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates. Enjoy the episode. Love you. Okay, everyone, how are you? Who is caught up on Love Island? Because Molly is back. And I had an inkling that she was going to go back in, right? Because I put up on my Instagram story, right? Saying I did like a chat with all of you guys, like about the Love Island thoughts, basically, just all having a little Love Island gossip. And one of you said that Mitch and Molly still stand a chance. And I did a poll

saying, do you think Mitch and Molly stand a chance and Molly didn't vote on the story she saw it but didn't vote on the story and I'm thinking keeping her cards close to her chest maybe she's going back in a little Casa Amor hey and there she was there she was what are your guys predictions is Zachariah gonna go back with Molly it's got to be a yeah it's got to be 100% he ain't gonna leave her stood there in Casa Rizzi. I'm sure Mitch will be the knight in shining armor if he does. That would be Mitch all over, wouldn't it? Hilarious.

Anyway, so everybody, the weekly debate this week is, can you still have a hot girl summer in a relationship? So I feel like, first of all, we need to sort of clarify if we're all on the same page of what a hot girl summer actually is because for me I guess hot girl summer for me is like a glow up you're feeling your best self like gorgeous tan new outfits holidays or girls weekends or like I don't know just hot girl shit right I don't think it necessarily is like pulling single I think you can have a single hot girl summer I do think you can have a hot girl summer in a relationship but I think it's totally different to be honest like

I find that my nights out when I'm single in comparison to when I'm in a relationship I feel totally different so I can imagine that if I went on a girl's holiday I would enjoy it in a totally different way if I was in a relationship compared to if I was single if I was in a relationship on a on a girl's holiday it would be about you know let's get cute matching bikinis let's drink cocktails let's would be about you know let's get cute matching bikinis let's drink cocktails let's go for beautiful dinners let's get gorgeous instagram content let's have a laugh let's get ready together on the balcony and i know all of those things are just a girl's holiday anyway but i feel like if you're single that's when you might go to like

the beach clubs and you might go a bit more like of a higher level clubbing and stuff like that this is just me personally i know a lot of girls do all of this in a relationship anyway which as you should babe but i just don't enjoy it as much and that's not because like oh i go there to like pool talk to boys i've never like gone out and pulled to be honest in my life but i don't i feel like i don't know i feel guilty because i'm a bit like if my boyfriend was in a place like this i'll probably be a bit like jealous about it i'd probably be a bit like okay do you know what i'm saying but you know you you're not there for that reason and and there's nothing about that

do you know what i'm saying so i just you i still think you do it of course you do you do it but i don't think you enjoy it the same i think you still enjoy it but the feelings you're feeling are different I think yeah I don't know it's hard to explain let's see what you guys think um someone says hot girl summer has a different meaning when you're in a relationship for me it's becoming the best version of myself mentally and physically um a hundred percent I'm in an eight-year relationship and I make the effort for myself he loves that yeah I do think that is so important and I do think a lot of people actually find that more attractive it's like just because I'm in a relationship that doesn't mean I'm going to stop going out with my girls

that doesn't mean I'm not going to go on holidays without you do you know what I mean and it's like that's a good thing do you know what I'm saying totally dress to impress yourselves not others make yourselves feel good and confident love that someone says no straight up no that's cheating okay so i feel like there your idea of a hot girl summer is probably on the pool jeremy um of course self-love and self-growth it doesn't mean slutting it up that is totally fine though that's literally me what i said as well i'm with you babes um yes i think having a hot girl summer means a summer of fun and sex so go have fun and sex with the boy absolutely um depends on the boundaries in the relationship and if you'd like your partner doing the same yeah so i guess that comes back to what I was trying to explain it's like let's say you're in like Ibiza and we go to Ibiza beach clubs right and it's like

Ibiza rocks do you know what I mean like all the single parties there's definitely people there that are in relationships and are just there to have a fucking good time and spend time with their best friends and it's that feeling of like imagine your boyfriend was like yeah I'm gonna go to Ibiza like I'm gonna go with the boys we're gonna go to the to a pool party and that I'm like brilliant that's brilliant that is hope you have a lovely time no I'll be I'll be a bit whoa what do you mean I think I'll come do you know what I mean um yes if there's a lot of trust in a relationship personally I wouldn't like it if my boyfriend did so I personally wouldn't yes hot girl summer is about having fun living your life and experiences yeah okay so this is

what I feel like it's like just because we're in relationships it doesn't mean that we shouldn't be having fun going out with the besties like making memories experiences do you know what i mean like it is just part of being young and it doesn't have to involve being like unfaithful and cheating on anybody do you know what i mean and a lot of the time it doesn't don't get me wrong a lot of the time that is where cheating happens but if you're not a cheater you ain't gonna cheat do you know what i'm saying you can have a hot girl summer go to go to a pool party live your best life with your best friends and a boy a group of boys can come over to you and you'll be like

i'm not interested thank you though do you know what i mean but don't you find okay i need to find a word to word a way to word this as a weekly debate because when you're in a relationship it's very difficult to to work out when is the right time to announce i have a boyfriend or i have a girlfriend do you know what i mean like when is it the right time because you know the fucking people you get them all the time right like they'll come over to you they'll be like you're right you're having a good night and you're like i can't turn around at this point and go i've got a boyfriend because i'm like fucking hell who do you think you are you think you're all that doing fucking fancy man i was just being friendly right and it's like all right fuck me have i hurt your ego do you know what i mean but if you stand there

and talk to him and you're like yes good thanks it's like am i giving you the impression that i am interested in this conversation am i coming across single right now so it's really hard to to decide when you say i've got a boyfriend actually thank you because if a girl come up to my boyfriend and was like hey like how are you how's your night going i wouldn't expect him to be like i'd expect him to be like yeah good thanks but like drop the hints you know cut the combo if you can tell that she just fancied you and she's hitting on you you know like let's not let's not go yeah good how's your night who you here with whoa whoa whoa no need for the questions okay just yeah really good thanks you know if you can tell it's a she's hitting on me situation let's keep it polite but try and drop the hint you know probably not gonna probably not gonna go there with me yeah but also

when is the right time for that i've got a girlfriend sorry do we have to wait for her to go can i get your number but then to be fair if she asks that and he goes i've got a girlfriend sorry no harm done i'm i'm happy with that she goes oh, oh, okay, no problem. But unless she turns around, she goes, do you want a new one? Do you want a new one? Listen to me. No. All right. I've just gone on a whole nother tangent. If anyone can come up with a way for me to word that as a weekly debate, get in my DMs, babes. All right. Love you. Let's get into some dilemmas. let's get into some dilemmas okay I hope you're all ready ears are open we're gonna give our best advice mentally okay do you guys like think about your opinion when you're listening to this like do you guys give your advice back in your head because I do when I listen to podcasts about

dilemmas and stuff like I either listen I'm thinking yeah agree I agree with you or I'm listening I think no terrible advice do you know I mean do you guys listen and have your opinions I'd love to know let me know all right so hi Leah so I have a little situation my boyfriend of five years recently decided to block his best friend and end that friendship. Okay, pretty harsh. Well, his best friend and I have become really good friends over the years and they didn't end on bad terms, just stopped talking. So he and I have continued talking. Oh, interesting. Okay. Well, the best friend recently told me that he's into me shock he asked me to be his sneaky link okay what a shit mate i know they're not friends anymore but fucking hell could you imagine doing that to one of your ex-girl besties fucking hell um

i said no the worst part of it is that he's telling me all this while my boyfriend and i are kind of in a rocky spot he hasn't been sleeping with me as much just doesn't seem interested interested and it's kind of putting me down sometimes oh unacceptable they put me down the fuck is that i wasn't very attractive in high school me neither babes so i've never had any guys all over me but i guess now i kind of want to experience being with other people oh interesting or maybe just try being single i love my boyfriend so much and he promises a future with kids so it's holding me back because i know i want that future with him but the temptation is really eating at me lately i'm so confused and conflicted it's making

me crazy oh oh fucking hell side note also this guy has a girlfriend which adds to the guilt of wanting to do it on one hand i want to tell her he's not faithful but on the other i'm scared she'll tell my boyfriend that i'm playing him when i haven't done anything. This is all kind of overwhelming. This is all kind of overwhelming. Thank you. I love you. Okay. First of all, I said this last time, like we had a dilemma. I think it was the last episode actually about a guy who was hitting on her and he had a girlfriend and she was kind of tempted. Why do we want a guy that treats his girlfriend like that? Why do we, why are you attracted to that okay let's separate that first of all but listen i think the elephant in the room here is that you

want to be single sorry i had a go i don't think it's this guy in particular that is so incredible that you're wanting to fucking out end your relationship but i do think it's come to sort of wake you up and say like you just want to be single and just live life on your own for a little bit and experience things because that's what this sounds like you're like oh like maybe I want to be single you know like I haven't really had that with guys like I've not really had like guys what's the word something after me you know and they're like you know what's the word spooning spawning ballooning what's the word i don't know i'm sure you guys know what i mean maybe but yeah you haven't had this like single people want me everyone fucking wants me and you're like oh it's kind of fun kind of funny

and i think you owe it to yourself to follow that intuition where you're like I just want to experience this for a bit and listen I know you said like oh but your boyfriend promises you the future with kids and everything and that's what you want with him a lot of us you know not all of us but you know most relationships that's how you see them going you you feel like that's going to be you know you might not see kids but you might see marriage or at least just forever with somebody. And I think that's very normal. And a lot of people can say that they probably thought that about all their exes. Do you know what I mean?

And it's not a bad thing that you want that. And it doesn't go to say that you won't get that. Because as I always say, if something's meant for you, it won't pass you by. If that is your future husband and your future baby daddy that's the way it will go and if you have your single time you could end up with him in six months a year five years six years ten years if that's the way it's meant to go if not you could end your relationship be single for a bit like you have mentioned that this guy he has his flaws in terms of what he's bringing to you as a boyfriend you know he's not making you feel that attractive sexually like all of the stuff that you mentioned in here you will get that from another partner maybe and and then be like oh maybe you're my future husband maybe you're

my future baby daddy so I just think have a have a real like tune into your to your intuition and your higher self and think what is it that i really want just right now it doesn't you don't need to make decisions for your whole future like just do what feels right for you right now and then you can never regret it you can say that's what i did because that's what i wanted to do that's what felt right for me in the moment and i have no regrets just for that reason you You know, I love you. And to be honest, I think ignore the friend at this point. I think it's time to cut that friend off. It's not healthy to be in this, you know, it's naughty and it's wrong and it's that can make you want it sometimes. But I think be the right do the right thing be the be the what's the word better person and just go you know what that's not fair what I'm doing with you

I'm gonna cut that you don't deserve me your girlfriend deserves better my boyfriend deserves better from me and I'm just gonna dead that one there and then look at me look at my relationship and just question I think maybe I'm ready to be single and and you know maybe we'll be together one day but right now this is what is is my calling and I can just feel it and I'm gonna go with it and have no regrets babe but if you do want to work things out with your boyfriend absolutely do it just do what feels deeply right for you in your soul you know all right love you next dilemma okay this one says hey girly loving the pod i'm a fairly new listener but defo feel comfortable enough to share my dilemma with

you yay i'm so glad i love you so my best friend of 10 years is getting married soon which i'm obsessed with however she told me recently that my boyfriend of nine years who she knows too isn't invited not just that but this wedding is abroad so I'm having to go on my own catching flights with people I don't know the groom's friends and it makes me feel so uncomfortable I'm a nervous flyer anyway so that doesn't help but I'm just so confused do you think it's unreasonable I feel so bad because it's her wedding and she can invite whoever she likes but I personally wouldn't do that to her I've also been told I'm not a bridesmaid either which kind of surprised me

am I going crazy please be honest wishing you the best love you okay um we always struggle with these dilemmas here don don't we? Because I, none of my friends are getting married yet. So I've not been there just yet, but I know it must be really difficult when it comes to the wedding invites, because at the end of the day, you have to do what's best for you as the bride and groom. You have to invite who you want to invite and you don't need to invite people out of pressure. And when you start getting people coming at you saying can i bring this person can i bring my partner can i bring my kids it's a bit like fuck sake i've got a hundred more people that didn't even want to come now and a lot of people say that they say yes to people coming and bringing plus ones and stuff and then on their wedding day they wish they never said yes they're like fuck sake

i don't know half these bloody people anymore but obviously she knows your boyfriend so I find that a bit bizarre um it's so tough because part of me feels like can you just say to her like is there any way I can bring my boyfriend like obviously like he can just come to the party whatever like he doesn't have to come to the full ceremony wait is it ceremony I always get confused which parts where you do your vows and which part's the party. Is the party the ceremony? Oh, fuck knows. Anyway, can you just come to the party after the vows? Do you know what I mean?

Is that okay? But totally understand if not, like, it's more just because I don't want to fly alone. Do you know what I mean? And I feel a bit out of place and I just, you know, is that okay? But totally understand if not. But the other part of me is like, it doesn't feel fair to do that. It doesn't feel fair to put that it doesn't feel fair to put that on the bride so I really don't know I mean is there any chance that your boyfriend might fly

out with you and then maybe you could just do like a little three night stay and you'll just go to the wedding one day but you'll still have like a little couple's break just for like three nights four nights wherever it is Spain I don't know where she's getting married but you'll still have like a little couple's break just for like three nights four nights wherever it is i'm spain i don't know where she's getting married but you know what i mean is that a possibility because i feel like that would be great he you know and maybe oh maybe maybe you could say oh billy's flying out with me because i'm really scared of flying we're going to go a couple of days earlier you know i'm really scared of flying so billy has said that he's going to come with me just to sort of keep me company on the flight and stuff and maybe she'll go oh well he can come to the party if he wants maybe because I'm a bit savage if she was like

okay cool let's see yeah do you know what I mean maybe that's an option I'm not sure if you guys are thinking of your opinions in your head I wish I could hear them right now because I'm truly stuck on that one. I'm not sure how to navigate the wedding guest situation. So if anyone has any advice, send them in. Okay, update us, please. I would love to know how that one goes. Please, I'm begging you, send an update to that one. If anybody has ever had a dilemma answered, I begging you right now send me an update stop what you're doing go to learndelion.com click on dilemmas and just say this is an update blah blah i would love you so so so much if you did that okay next dilemma i love you hey girly love you in the pod so so much i've listened since the first ever episode oh my god thank you so much

the first ever episode. Oh my god, thank you so much. So I've been besties with my best friend for over 10 years. Wow, that's a long friendship. I love that. Literally inseparable since we met. We've pretty much always been a duo. We have other close friends, of course, but have always been each other's ride or die. Every year for birthdays and Christmas, we get each other cute little gifts or experiences. I love that experiences is a vibe like that would be a sick present i've had two long-term boyfriends one of them being my current boyfriend that i've been with for two and a half years she has never had a boyfriend up until recently i've always been there to listen to her boy dramas and problems and always picking up the pieces with when things with boys went badly she recently got into a relationship and i'm very happy for her however the christmas just gone i

got her a very thoughtful gift made up of several presents she told me my gift was on the way and that royal mail hadn't delivered it yet that old chestnut yeah we've all used that one before she said she'd give it to me as soon as it arrived however weeks passed and nothing i can't help but think she forgot or didn't put any effort in because she was too caught up in her whirlwind relationship yeah it's almost like the the christmas gift budget went on the bf do you know what i mean this did upset me considering it's the first year she's not got me anything and i put a lot of effort into hers that's so sad because presents are so special like the thought of the thought of somebody on their phone googling present ideas bestie present

ideas looking scrolling for hours something you would love getting all excited going out picking wrapping paper for you writing a lovely note that's so sweet you know what i mean that you've obviously put together a whole lovely gift for her and it wasn't reciprocated after 10 fucking years babe do you mean yeah how long's he been around how long have i been around yeah um my dilemma is that her birthday is approaching and i don't know what to get her i didn't bring this up at the time because it's an awkward conversation but i'd appreciate your thoughts or any advice i don't know why i fucking picked this to read out because i ain't got a fucking clue okay that is a difficult one i feel like i'd still get her a nice present um you know, we kind of want one when it's our birthday.

You know, let's not make that a thing where you just fucking don't get me presents anymore, babe. You know, I look forward to that every fucking year. So I think we still get her a nice present. Maybe just don't put too much thought and effort into it. Just in case it doesn't get reciprocated again. Let's hope that that Christmas was just a bit of a dodgy year. Maybe she'd been wrapped up honeymoon phase. Honeymoon phase will be over by next Christmas.

All right. So let's get her a present. Let's get her a lovely present. Lovely birthday presents. Maybe something you've heard her say she really wants. Just get her it. Happy birthday, bestie. Love you.

And then it's your birthday next. Yeah. And what are you getting we will see and i think that will be the teller and if she doesn't i personally wouldn't make a big deal about it i'll just be like do we not do presents no more then hun because i fucking spoil you darling yeah let's not forget how lovely that christmas present was i got you you didn't get me nothing you little bitch royal mail yes is it still up for delivery is it you know like we can take the piss we can joke i don't think it needs to be like a hey bestie um like i'm just curious like is there a reason like you don't get me a present anymore like let's avoid anything too serious with the best friends. I think when you have a friendship of that long,

you're literally like sisters and you can just be like, no present for me then, babe. Where's mine? Surprise. Have I got a surprise? Do you know what I mean? We can joke about it.

Hopefully, I'm not 100% sure. But yeah, that's my opinion on that one. Let me know what you guys think because I do think that's quite a difficult one all right i love you so much next dilemma okay this one says been with my partner for over 10 years since school and everything was great until about six months ago we have a daughter so it's never easy to navigate negative times he's been he's been in a really dark place,

made some bad choices and they've affected us, but we've never stopped loving each other and have great sex still. My dilemma is that he's not as affectionate as he was. Daily things like little things like I love you just before he, oh sorry, just before bed or a kiss before work. It's like he just forgets. my love language is physical touch and words of affirmation so yeah i crave it i guess he's in a low place and probably emotionally unavailable for it he's carried around a lot of guilt and self-hatred i try and help him but there's not much more i can do he knows i love him and have forgiven him but how can i bring up with him without sounding needy

or am I overthinking it is it me actually being needy oh my god I just need an outsider's perspective thanks babe okay listen I don't think there's anything wrong with being needy like I don't think it is you being needy I think asking for a kiss and you to say I love you before we go to bed at night like that's the bare minimum in my eyes personally but everybody's different and even if you were being needy I think when you're in a safe secure relationship like you're in it's been a long time you know we know each other inside and out you you can just say I don't feel like you show me enough affection anymore you know I don't feel loved like I used to I don't feel appreciated I don't feel like you look at me and think oh I love my gorgeous gorgeous woman

do you know what I mean and it doesn't need to come across as criticism it doesn't need to come across as confrontational or argumentative I think you obviously have a lot of empathy and you're saying like he's been through this and he's obviously feeling this and you're trying so hard to understand him that he also needs to understand you and I think you have every right to just have a nice gentle easy conversation and be like look I know it's been a really difficult time for you over the past year or however long it's been you you know, and I do not judge you for anything. I forgive you for things. We are moving on together, but I feel like our relationship is suffering in this way. I feel like, you know, it would just be nice if you told me you love me before you go to sleep at night or just make sure you do the little

things like kiss me before you go out. And I don't want to lose that in our relationship. So I'm just asking you to work with me to make sure we, we want to lose that in our relationship so I'm just asking you to work with me to make sure we we don't lose that in our relationship because as you know it's very important to me and it makes me feel more loved and that lacking in our relationship is having a bit of an impact on me and a normal response would be of course babe you are not asking for much at all I will be more on that i'm so sorry i've just been all in my head recently and i might have neglected you in the process and i haven't intentionally done that but i love you so much and you're right you're right let me take you on an all-inclusive holiday but do you know what i mean and you can say look look i know it's probably not

personal i know there's probably this probably a whole another reason to it being about me this is where he turns around and say no it's actually about you no I just think it you know you're trying so hard to understand him and you're so sweet for that and you can just say to him look I know you're probably not emotionally available in this moment, but please don't neglect me. Please don't abandon this relationship physically and emotionally. Do you know what I mean? Let's work together to make sure that no matter what we're going for as individuals, we still have that bond. We still have that connection because I love you so much. And I'm here for you no matter what, baby, baby boy. And he'll go'll go wow i'm the luckiest man in the world

to have a woman like you by my side i cannot believe i've not told you i love you every night before i go to sleep because i'm not being funny if jamie turned over to go to sleep and he didn't say love you he'd get a wallop on the back of his heed no he wouldn't i would just be like oi i said i love you do you know what i'm saying or if we try to walk out the door to go to work without a kiss I'm like uh um excuse me turn around right now anyway yeah I love you you sound like an amazing person with a lot of empathy and I love you I'm proud of you you're amazing okay guys let's wrap up the episode okay everyone thank you so so so much for listening to this episode I really hope

you enjoyed it thanks for having me in your company today I loved having you in mine it's so good to catch up with each other again remember this Friday we're doing the episode about people's funny stories where they've met the parents or the best friends of your partner so if you have a funny story or a cringy story or just a horror story or an even amazing story send me a dm at leah levain or at leah on the line on instagram either of. I'm always checking my DMs. So yeah, I cannot wait to read them out because they're going to be so, so funny. The first one I read, my jaw, I can't even tell you. It shattered when it hit the ground.

It is hilarious. I cannot wait to share these stories with you. They are brilliant. So yeah, keep sending them in. There's never too many. Yeah, I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening to all of my episodes. Thank you for all of your support. I will never, ever be able to explain to you how grateful I am how much you all

mean to me I have so much planned for the pod I have this incredible plan that I've put in place in my head and with the universe and yeah fingers crossed big things are coming and it's just going to get bigger and better and this is just a transitional period right now where we're just doing the uploads from home you know just making sure we maintain our bestie relationship because I never want to lose out with you guys I don't know how I would function without our weekly catch-ups so yeah this is not it I have a lot of ideas and a lot of things I want to do. And hopefully it won't be too long until I get there. It's just, I got to do some work. All right. I got

to put in the work. You better work, bitch. And I am. All right. I love you guys. Have an amazing week. And I will speak to you on Friday for a brand new episode. All right. I love you. Bye.