Leah on the Line - 80: He's disrespecting me to his friends! & He farts during sex EVERY time...

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leah on the line happy tuesday or should i say happy birthday it's my birthday today I don't know if I let you guys know in advance or anything but as you're listening to this if you're listening to this on Tuesday the 22nd of August by the way I've got a bit of a lisp again because I've got a new set of aligners and she's a little bit lispy over here it's kind of cute but anyway yeah Tuesday the 22nd of August it is my birthday guys um not to make this entire episode about me this is giving Leo I was watching the Tyson Fury documentary right and I was literally thinking the whole way through I was like this man is giving

Leo right googled his star sign he's a Leo so yeah who's watched that it's very good do you know what I did just finish recently the crowded room with tom holland it was really good i got about halfway through and i thought what is going on here like where is this going like when because i've heard him say that like this role he had to take a break from acting because it's had like an impact on his mental health and i thought god like there must be a real deep twist somewhere and there is and it's good and i will put it up there and say i predicted it and i saw it come in i'm quite good at predictions and tv shows and stuff also if anyone has any recommendations for like tv thrillers dramas i'm talking happy valley

money heist um what else have i loved bodyguard bodyguard is one of my favorites um what was the one with the bomb disposal team? Trigger point. There's a season two coming out of that. Bring it on, baby. That's what I say. Anyway, any recommendations, send them my way because we love that in this house. I don't know if I can do my podcast with these aligners in because I'm actually annoying myself. Hopefully, you guys didn't find it annoying. I'm going to keep them in. I'm going to persevere. But anyway, I hope you're all doing really well well we have some good dilemmas this week as I was picking through I thought brilliant brilliant episode to say thank you to everybody for all the drama going on in your life for providing the fantastic content I do I you know I'm sorry

at the same time but on the flip side if we look at things in a positive light, great podcast episode coming up. Do you know what I mean? But we also have an update of a dilemma. You guys remember the girl who went on a date with the Andrew Tate fan? We have an update and it's great. So yeah, you know what? I'm not going to waste any more time, guys. I'm really looking forward to this episode. I'm 26 26 on the on the other end of the 20s now am I considered late 20s at this point or can I still say mid-20s I'm gonna go early 20s for now have you seen that tiktok where she's like I know you're looking for somebody early to mid 20s I'm on the later side and then like how old like, how old are you? I'm 29. You're 29?

Last year. So you were 29 last year? Last year. So how old are you now? 29 last year. So you're 30. 30. Yeah. Two. 32. That's going to be me for life. How old. I'm 21, darling. Isn't it crazy that like it doesn't even feel that long ago I was 21 and I'm 26, hun. Do you know what I mean? Where does the time go? Let's not get morbid. Grateful for another year of health and happiness and life and luck, you know, grateful, gratitude all day, every day day um oh god i've killed the vibe anyway woohoo let's get into the episode thank you so much for listening to leah on the line head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates enjoy the episode. Love you. what it was. Sorry guys, I've got an audience today. Okay, everybody, let's get into the weekly

debate. I'm not sure if we've done this before, but I feel like if we did, it was a long time ago and I'm still not sure on the answer. So I feel like we should just do it again if I did. Okay, my question for you this week is, how do you know when you are in love with someone or they are the one slash they are the one, not or? You know what I mean? Right, okay, let's have a look. Because you know what it is, right? I think it's hard to differentiate. Yeah, a lot of letters in that word, a lot of syllables in that word. It's hard to tell if you're in love with someone or attached to them do you know what i mean so how do you guys know let's have a look um you just know you have zero doubts and feel safe

because everyone says that don't they you just know you think you're in love and then you meet someone else and you just know you just know don't they everyone when you ask like a successfully married couple how do you know they're the one you just know i know it sounds corny but you just know, don't they? Everyone, when you ask like a successfully married couple, how do you know they're the one? You just know. I know it sounds corny, but you just know. Corny. Why don't we use that in our vocabulary here in Britain? It's corny.

It just sounds shit when we say it. Corny. Corny. What do we say that Americans don't say? The C word, I feel like. You know, you know the one, the big, the big yeah yeah because when i went to miami right that's i've said this before it is just part of my vocabulary and i'm not proud of it right i know it's a aggressive word not not towards someone not i wouldn't call you on you

know what i mean i don't know i felt like i'd say like oh i feel like all right do you know i mean it's quite vile to be honest I talk like that but I just do and when I was living in Miami like people were like oh my god and up north to be honest like when you go up north like they don't I feel like they don't use that word as much but then maybe they do I don't know you guys will have to let me know I know they do in Australia Australia they use it they I feel like we're quite similar you know culturally that doesn't sound like how you pronounce it culturally i don't know all right anyway what the hell what where how did i get onto the fucking c word who knows right anyway when everything feels right there's no

doubt your day and life is better with them in it um someone says lol can't relate men are trash someone says i don't think i felt this because this is the thing i feel like when everyone's saying like you just know you just know you just know people just sit there questioning like but how do i know that this is the the feeling of knowing that they're all talking about like i think i know but how do i know if this is the feeling they're talking about you know i can't explain it you just know you can't imagine life without them and you're never not smiling with them in love they feel like home yeah when home starts to feel like a person more than a place i love that when they feel like home i personally wouldn't

fully be in love with someone unless i felt they they were the one okay yeah I guess it comes hand in hand you know but then I think you can love someone and not feel like they're the one at the same time sometimes um when nothing about the future scares you with them slash nothing they can nothing they do can ick you out actually yeah this is a fact I feel like you know you if you can sit there and picture spending your life with them marriage potentially, potentially children, if that's in your plan, whatever it is, if you can picture it with them and it doesn't make you go, oh, God, I don't know. If it just makes you go, yeah, that's the life for me, you know, when the thought of not being with them genuinely breaks you. of not being with them genuinely breaks you I'm not 100% I agree with that babe to be honest because I think sometimes like in most relationships the thought of not being with them breaks you do you know what I mean like it's quite normal I think to be with someone and feel like oh my god

like if this ended I don't know what I'd do it'd be hell so yeah I don't know because I've had that feeling then I look back and realize it wasn't love or like they weren't the one do you know what I mean so I don't know it's hard to it's hard to understand that feeling of like being with someone and feeling like oh my god if I lost you it would break me like sometimes that can be down to genuinely that you feel like they're the one and you're in love or it can come down to like that would crush my self-esteem like whatever it is you know um lots of people saying they just feel like home you just know it's hard to explain it you feel so much when you look at them they feel like safety to you being with them will always

feel like home um very helpful question as it didn't with the last guy and he ended up ending things lol the only way i can describe it is that they just feel like home. Loved you on the pod, big fan. Oh, I love you. When you're completely yourself around them and everything is easy and they bring out the best in you. Yeah, if somebody doesn't add to your life, what's the point, you know? When you can tell them anything and being not worried slash scared about doing so I just felt it in my heart and body when I was with him was that's so heartbreaking I know he was my one because I still love him so much after four years apart same person oh that's heartbreaking um what else have we got guys my boyfriend said is being excited for your future with them and

not allowing anything to get in the way yes i feel like when you get to a point where you're like nothing and no one could genuinely break this or come between us or damage this or you know that is when you know i feel like you know they're icks but you're obsessed with them anyway nothing can stop the obsession yeah but then is how do you know it's not just obsession you know this is the hard question when you would literally die for them this is the only way I can think to describe being in love yeah for sure because if it comes to a family member you just know like burning building I'm running in and getting you and if you can look at your partner and say that, I feel like that's when you know you love them. Because like, I always feel like, the way I always describe it is like, you know the way you love your family. I think when you get to that point where it's like, you are like a part of my soul and my like human build like makeup like you know what I'm saying

like you're not just a character in my life like you are a part of who I am deep down to my core you know like your mum your sister like whoever it is you know like those even those cousins that you don't see for years and years and years and years obviously you love your partner more than those cousins that you don't see for years and years and years and years. Obviously, you love your partner more than those cousins that you don't see for years and years and years. Usually, if you don't have that close of a relationship. But you know that you have this like bond. I feel like when you're in love with someone, it's the way I would describe it. It's like you just have the bond, like the unspoken communication.

You know what I mean? Am I making any sense? Whatever. A feeling of never wanting to be without that person and wanting to do your life with them. Looking forward to this as I don't know if I was in love or attached. I did love them though. Yeah, this is the thing. And people say there's a difference between love, between loving someone and being in love with someone. And I guess there is. I guess I would. Yeah, I guess I think that actually I always felt like I did believe that but then I think upon reflection I don't it's really hard it's really hard to

understand isn't it like yeah I feel like you know what they're the one or you're in love with someone when they just feel like a part of you and they feel like your family in a normal way do you know what i mean you know like i can't honestly that's the best i can describe it i literally i really struggle to explain it and i suppose we all do that's why no one really has a solid answer there is no like factual answer for this and that's why everyone says you just know like there is no way to describe it and it actually drives me crazy that i can't i can't bring myself to describe the feeling do you just know. Like there is no way to describe it. And it actually drives me a bit crazy that I can't. I can't bring myself to describe the feeling.

Do you guys know what I mean? But yeah, I guess what we all agree on is that, you know, they feel like home. They make you feel safe. They bring out the best in you. And you just feel it deep down, you know. Because sometimes like, you know, in like nasty relationships and stuff like that when you come out of it you realize it was like a trauma bond or something like that and then you realize that's not do you know what's really interesting actually something I saw on TikTok recently that I genuinely

have always tried to put into words and she put it really well and I can't even remember the words she put it in so I'm just gonna fucking try but basically you know how people say like oh I'm bored in my relationship and I think I'm bored she basically was trying to say that like being bored what you think is bored is actually a good thing right so if you're used to toxicity on off relationships up and down roller coaster relationships and then you're with someone who just treats you right and people go I don't know I'm just bored like they're so nice to me like I cannot fault them they treat me so well and I just feel bored I think that's when you get used to like that gut-wrenching heartache and then they they come back and they repair it and they take all the

pain away and they say I'm so sorry I love you so much you're everything I've ever wanted and that like intense what's it called like dopamine of like oh my life is fixed again like you've taken all this pain away we're so in love again and like I think people think that is the feeling that is love but actually it should just feel secure and safe. And people use the word bored. But actually, I think that is a good thing. Like, you're not bored, you know. I know sometimes it is a different situation and you are just bored. But if it's a case of this, right, we think it's bored. the way I feel in my relationship now is like I feel so safe and secure that I have been bored in relationships right and this is a totally totally different feeling this is just like I feel like I can breathe and it's calm and it's it's just pleasant do you know what I mean and

like yeah obviously we fucking argue do you know what I mean we you go through rough patches and everything like that but I think so many people like who go through toxicity and stuff you think that's love like we're just so in love with each other or like oh he doesn't want me to go out and he gets really jealous and really obsessive when I go on nights out he loves me so much but actually like that is that is not love what sometimes it is but what I'm saying is to feel calm and not feel those intense ups and downs is a good thing like it should just feel good and not all the time like I said rough patches are a thing people go through their own shit personally and it's going to have a reflection in the relationship every now and then but it should it should just feel nice most of the time do you know what I mean does that make sense all right guys I feel

like I went off track but yeah that's my idea of love all right okay guys we have some great dilemmas we'll start with an update so let's get comfy let's get into some dilemmas okay everybody who is ready to start us off with an update okay so update on the andrew tate dilemma hey babe thank you so much for your advice i agree with absolutely everything you said to be honest i just really needed to hear someone say it out loud to me so i could realize how against my morals it would be to keep dating someone who has the same views as Andrew Tate. I rang him tonight and explained that I didn't think we would be compatible in the long run due to having difficult values. I let him rant down the phone to me about how Andrew Tate isn't a misogynist and I shouldn't believe what the media has to say about him. What the fuck?

Do you know him personally did he told you he did did he he told you that did he all right you tell him from me yeah fuck your face fuck his brother and fuck the fucking lot of you as well what you thinking that you don't have to believe what people say about him okay he's a nice guy trust me i know all right mate i didn't react i simply just let him rant because by not listening to because by not listening to what i have to say he just proved more to me that i was making the right decision and ending things i ended the call wishing him all the best and he said the same yeah he's low-key or a rager i bet he's never been broken

up with before so at least it didn't end on a bitter note from now on i'll always ask the first date on the first date a man's views on andrew tate if i'd done that i wouldn't have wasted two months of my life as gutted as i am i know i've done the right thing thanks for your help good for you babes we are all very proud of you for following your gut and what is right for you and sticking to what you believe in babe babe. We love you. All right, let's get into some dilemmas, everybody. Let's see who we can help or at least try. Okay. Hey, gorgeous girl. Oh, hi, beautiful. Can I fix his insecurities? This is a bit of a long one, so buckle up. Before I start, just wanted to give a bit of context. Me and my boyfriend met last July in Portugal and spent every day together bumping into each other by accident. On that holiday, he had a girlfriend of three and a half

years. Oh my god, okay. He was 20 and I was 19. I had been seeing a guy for a month and he ghosted me on holiday so I dumped him by text. We were long distance by four hours and he made the effort to drive up several times after the holiday we went to red and festival together and we made it exclusive prior to the festival an ex fling reached out to me and confided in me about personal issues and we spoke for a couple of days for some stupid reason i asked to meet him with no intentions of actually going okay it's whatever you know skip forward to the following march my boyfriend looked on my macbook and found the messages we exchanged during the time me and him were speaking okay he was so angry

and wanted to break up with me he's been insecure about my body count since we've been together okay i didn't tell him the truth straight away out of the fear he would judge me etc so we've had many convos about this where each time i've told him more of the truth it's just getting higher every time like when you first made that wish your body can't you like uh like two or three i think i think like two next time it's like like five five or six i think i think about eight just getting higher and i was like okay this is weirdly climbing up whilst we're supposed to be exclusive um a bit more context i've never had a proper long-term relationship until brian mine is 16 okay i feel like i can't use the name brian because that is copyrighted by the girls

bathroom well at least it should be but we'll stick with it for this one but before anyone comes for me saying i'm coming them i promise she wrote it on me again not all boys sorry mine is 16 not all the boys and brian's body count is nine he cheated on his ex-girlfriend six times i feel like i'm being wrongly treated for my past behavior when he literally cheated so many times and i haven't made it such an issue like he has with me yeah fucking hell so what if I was out of 16 people mate you've cheated on your girlfriend nine times I mean six times like fucking hell nothing wrong with what I've done darling um okay and I haven't made it such an issue like he has with me I've moved to his family home for the summer and I'm due to go back next week he wants to go on a two-week break with no contact to decide if we stay together what balls in your court is it mate I'll just wait around shall I I don't know

how to act or what to expect this is our only relationship issue that is always brought up other than that he makes me so happy and in love i can't imagine losing him at the cost of such a small issue any advice love you so much love you okay i feel like if somebody says this to you i want to go on a two-week break no contact we say okay and you take that time to think about what you want you know don't sit around like oh my god is he gonna come back is he gonna come back because at the end of the day we can't say uh no i'm not doing that i'm not doing that you can decide if you want to just walk away then all right fine do you know what i don't i don't believe in this break shit if you if you don't know if you want to be with me or not i'll decide for you or if you think okay that's fine let's do a break you take that time for

yourself as well use this time wisely because you might realize a few things on this break as well you might be sat there going actually do you know what i don't really want to be of someone's cheating on their girlfriend six times you know you might have a few realizations and stuff this could be beneficial for you it could really do a bit of a backflip on him to be honest the control he thinks he's got right now because that's a sad thing it's like he kind of does have the right to say look I want to have a little break and like what can we really do about it but don't just sit around like okay well balls in your court I'm here if you want me or not just say okay that's fine well you know let's both go away and have a think about what we both want and if we if we think we're compatible think we can get through these issues think if we can make it work or not let's both go away and

think about that don't think i'm sat around crying honey because even if you are that's right he doesn't need to know that you know what i mean babe so that's what i would personally do i hate the thought because this is the thing right if he thinks that you're sat there just praying and hoping that he's going to turn around and say i love you i miss you let's get back together he's got nothing to worry about he's going to enjoy the next two weeks what has he got to sweat about whereas if he thinks well she's having a she's having a think about things as well he'll have to think a bit more you know less selfishly because i think when you feel like you've got

all the control you don't feel those god I don't know what to do if I would lose this person because you think well I it's all up to me so what have I got to worry about so I think the best case for both of you is if no one feels that balls in my court because I don't think that's good for anyone you know that's just personally what I would do babe please let me know how it all goes that is definitely one we need an update on because it's two weeks let me know what you say to them what you decide to do let me know what happens at the end of these two weeks we'd all love to hear so good luck I love you and just remember if somebody decides if they don't want to be with you it's not a reflection of you that's fine by me honey you know I love myself enough you know what's that Selena Gomez song as Sally G once said I needed to lose you to love me

to love love you know I mean all right next I love her okay girl this is really embarrassing i actually feel ill writing this okay guys i know i know she says she's embarrassed so don't laugh but i feel like we we can giggle about this okay because it might help if we can giggle about it you know so let's read it okay okay girl this is really embarrassing i actually feel ill writing this but my boyfriend always farts during sex okay guys pack it in right this is serious is this normal he's the only person I've ever got intimate with so I cannot compare it to past people and it just completely puts me off and even makes me feel insecure because you should be focused on me and us one thing I do want to say is that I get I get it like I do get that but what I'm gonna say to you is like if he's farting like his head is

probably still in the game you know like gotta get your head in the game I think if he's letting out some farts like don't let it make you insecure babe because he's definitely still thinking of you like they're probably just slipping out you know I don't think he's like pausing and like pushing them out okay let's carry on i didn't really take much notice i thought it was just a one-off but now it's most times we have sex and it's just really weird to me please need your advice slash view am i the weird one um no like if i was you i you know i wouldn't like it either like i'd be a bit like oh for fuck's sake like do they i want to know like do they smell like are they like fart farts like smelly farts or is it like

like you know like the queefs like where it's just like air you know what i'm calling it a day like i'll be like whoa i can't i can't do this i it stinks of shit oh guys okay one thing i will tell you is is i you said that like this is the only person you've slept with so you don't have anything to compare it to to know like is this like really normal I'll just compare it to my own experience and like I've not experienced it so and I know most people fart all the time during sex it happens that part is common it happens but I'm not sure about it happening like most times he might have like a bowel issue like he could have like bit of ibs or like like lactose intolerance like i'll sound well we're slowly in them

so it might be worth just going to to a doctor like and just saying like i just fart a lot like i don't know babe like i i'm just gonna go out there and say like it's not like really common I wouldn't say for it to happen every time it just depends if you can look past it really if there's something you can just get used to but like I think let's laugh about it together you know like let's laugh about it because it's not deep it's not like a real oh my god you know listen put it this way we could be writing in about way worse situations so let's be grateful that the worst case we've got right in to a dilemmas podcast about is that my boyfriend keeps fine when he's shagging me you know like that's a good thing babe you gotta look on the bright side like this is a good thing

so um i would say like i probably i to be honest i'd mention it i would mention it so this whole farting situation getting a bit out of control you know killing the vibe babe and i think let's laugh about it let's laugh about it i think you need to see a doctor babe i think you might have ibs because this farting situation is getting out of control it's not the sexiest thing and like i think you know what i love you don't be don't be embarrassed about it i'm i still love you don't worry i'm still sexually attracted to you don't worry about it but yeah i don't know because what can he really say yeah i can't help it what can he say what can he say to that and you don't want him next time to be having sex with you like holding in farts he won't enjoy it before you know it party's over if you know what i'm saying so um honestly i think it's just up to you wherever you can like just

move on from it if they're not like big smelly parts if they're just like a little you know this has to be the most unique dilemma i've ever read and it's got to be up there one of my favorites um advice um advice can you move past it can you look past it can you have just a laugh about it with him and go you know like does he fart a lot in the day is this like a daytime thing or is it literally just a bedtime thing because you know what it could be where he's using his stomach muscles it's just it's an accident how have you had conversations about it? Because obviously he's aware, you know. So no, babe. Oh, I mean, there's a few options there I've give you. Let me know.

But honestly, you don't need to feel insecure about it. Like it's not a reflection of like anything you're doing or anything like that. I'm sure he feels a little bit embarrassed about it. And I don't think you're weird at all. You know, you said, am I the weird one? No, I think people fart and sex all the time. But for it to happen every time is, I don't know.

Maybe there's loads of people listening. Like I fart and sex every time, you know. Maybe it is like a thing. Have you Googled it? Maybe Google it. I don't know. That was fucking helpful, wasn't it, Leah? Google it. Maybe Google it. I don't know. That was fucking helpful, wasn't it, Leah? Google it. Okay, but keep us updated with the farting situation and let me know how you navigate

this one because I've listed a few choices and I'm not sure which one is the best, but let me know what you do, babe. Love you. Have fun. All right, next slide, Emma. Hi, hun. I'm really desperate. No, I really desperately need some advice so I've been with my boyfriend for three years for the most part the relationship was amazing was okay I was very happy and he treated me so well but in the last six months everything's changed he won't call me because he doesn't like calling although we always used to daily and he even used to sit on a call with me until I fell asleep. Okay, something's changed.

Where did I just get to? Okay, he made no effort to see me for my 21st birthday or even my whole birthday week. Well, fuck off then. I had to tell me, I had to tell, I think you you mean i had to tell him what to get me for my birthday because he couldn't be bothered to look for himself and to top it all off he told me it's my face that i need to start going to the gym because apparently i'm starting to look a little choppy next to him um the audacity she says yeah well i finally had enough and have somehow worked up the courage to dump him abso-fucking-lutely you have good girl this is something i've known i've had to do for

a while but was too scared to end things with someone i truly love and cared for i know it's not going to be easy but in the long run i'll be so much happier without him in my life i guess my question is do you have any advice on how to deal with the breakup as i'll still be heartbroken losing him and how i can move forward without regretting my decision thank you in advance gorgeous love you bye love you okay you know what you know all it takes in a situation like this is you said i'm still heartbroken about losing him what have you lost what have you actually lost so we cling on this is what we do guys we cling on to the beginning you know you were with them for three years and you're saying the relationship was amazing i was very happy and he treated me so well

but then everything changed he won't call you doesn't like calling anymore apparently he didn't make any fucking effort for your birthday now he's 10 now his body shaming you where is the loss babe let's be real where is the loss you can you can grieve the person that you were with for all those years until things changed but who he was in the last six months is who you need to look at. Like when we are facing the decision of being with somebody or walking away from somebody, you have to look at the relationship for what it is now, not what it was or what it could be. If it's been going on for a long time, things have been a certain way for a long time, you look at the relationship for the way it is there, then and now. Okay, this is who I'm dealing with somebody suddenly doesn't

want to fucking make an effort with me even on my birthday my 21st as well big birthday you don't want to make an effort with me all week you don't want to call me anymore now you're telling me that you don't like the fucking way i look you're your body shaming me to go to the gym piss off you little prick yeah those last six months is who you're who you're breaking up with so i know it's heartbreaking when you think back to the person they were before those six months but you have to look at them for who they are now because that is who you're with or who you were with and that's not good enough for you you deserve better than that and what is it um what's the breakup legend on TikTok called?

Motivational guy. Can't remember. You all know who I'm talking about. Anyway, he always says, it's okay to grieve somebody for the life you thought you were going to have together and you thought they were the one, but you cannot grieve them as if they are the one.

You know, something along those lines. Matthew Hussey, that's who I'm thinking of just came to me you know does that make sense you just gotta keep reminding yourself of everything you just wrote out to me and then what are you missing literally what are you missing onwards and upwards baby girl you know love you so much you got this okay next dilemma it says help hey girly i need some advice i've been dating this guy for two months okay early days early days he's been amazing flowers surprise coffee deliveries oh what a fucking treat that is heaven lovely dates and a trip away we haven't been seeing anyone else and have discussed we'd like to be in a relationship by the end of this month.

Okay, well, if we've had the discussion, surely, why wait? I had taken him as a plus one to a family wedding last week, and this week had dinner with his full family. Everything was perfect. For the first time, I let my guard down and I really, really like him. However, last night, I I said can I see your phone we have recently started to go on each other's phones not on a toxic let me look for your phone kind of thing anyway whilst I had his phone I saw something his friend had sent out sent out several weeks ago so I kept scrolling the chat was bile after every date his friend and him were discussing how i hadn't yet put out an other disgusting lad chat he also lied after the second date and said he'd

done stuff to me when all that happened was a kiss goodbye oh what are you fucking 18 years old younger to be honest that is child behavior like little teenage boy behavior yeah fucking finger that mate yeah finger that mate no you literally didn't you literally pecked me on the cheek mate there was more and more vile crude messages him and his friends were discussing how i was following a guy they both know and said she's defo shagged him held his wood etc ew seriously ew this boy knew I'd only ever slept with two boys not that there's anything wrong with having fun but that hasn't ever been for me I was so hurt I confronted him he was very sorry red face crying to me said he was just showing off yeah exactly showing off

how old are you why are you showing off and that's the way his group of friends talk well that's just that says a lot about you doesn't it really and that if he was to talk feelings with them he'd get slagged i've asked for space because i don't know if this is something i can get over every time i look at him i think of of those messages. What would you do? Sorry, long one. Thanks so much. Honestly, I think it's only been two months. So why would he have shown this side of himself to you yet?

He just wouldn't. They protect the ugly sides of themselves before, you know, they wait until you're in love, until you're hooked. And then it slowly creeps out who they really fucking are right and you've just managed to catch him red-handed early days and this would have come out eventually you would have seen him for who he is eventually because i believe you are a reflection of your friends okay i've said this we did a weekly debate on it you know like if if all your boyfriend's friends were cheaters would that be a red flag to you and we discussed you know basically we came to the conclusion that you you are sort of who you surround yourself with because i wouldn't be surrounded by people

who act in a way that i think's gross and you know he obviously is so and he's getting involved in it he's like yeah fucking finger there mate fucking finger yuck have a bit of fucking respect and this is he's just showing himself to you well he hasn't you've you've caught him out well and i'm glad you did i'm glad we found out early days so you can walk away before we're in love and it becomes even harder you know this is obviously who he is this is the friends he has and all you need to do is ask yourself even if he was showing off even if he was just showing off right is that someone you want to be with no someone who shows off to their mates at your expense disrespecting you and embarrassing you just to show off and impress

his friends is that someone you want no gross i've only known you two months why would i what's that saying guys don't lower oh i'm not even close to remembering it basically don't adjust your boundary to someone's disrespect is what i'm trying to say don't go I mean you know I really don't like that about him and I really don't like boys that like that but I do really like him no I don't like boys like that I don't like boys who surround themselves with people like that let alone call them friends done that's what I think babes personally it's just like ew ew I've literally known you two months what you think I'm just gonna settle with that, with behavior that I think is disgusting for someone I've known two months, no way, gross,

fucking disrespect me, embarrass me, to impress your friends, crack on, mate, not with me, darling, not round here, darling, that's what I think you should do but obviously I always say this I'm not emotionally involved so it's very easy for me to sit back here and say that but I think that I know to a lot of people you'd look past that very easily and it's and you know a lot of people would just be like oh it's just lad banter whatever personally I find that really immature and gross and that would be enough for me just personally to just be like oh fucking gross fuck that but I know like I said a lot of people just be like oh that's just lads that's what lads are like you know and if you're like that and if you can look

past it then totally fine but if you can't and to be fair you said every time you look at him you see those messages so I just think why settle for him what's so special about him that you're going to lower your you know what you what you want from someone what's so special about him that you're willing to do that and feel shit and then worry about what the hell he's messaging his friends about you know what I mean that's just my viewpoint on that one babe I hope it's helpful even if you don't agree with me I hope it still is helpful in any way and I support you every step of the way honey whatever you decide to do I'm here so yeah keep us all updated keep us all in the loop just remember you're amazing remember what you're worth and what you deserve all right guys fantastic dilemmas I really enjoy these dilemmas this week when I read through them I I thought brilliant, brilliant content. Guys, keep it up. All right, let's wrap up the episode.

Okay, everybody, thank you so much. If you made it to the end of the episode, we are true, true best friends friends for life thank you for spending my birthday with me even though it's not technically my birthday for me but whatever don't you hate it when someone just keeps talking about their birthday i actually do find that annoying it's my birthday next week it's my birthday tomorrow it's my birthday in three days it's my birthday it's my birthday oh i know you've said it's literally me anyway hope you guys all have an amazing day today hope you all have an amazing week whatever it's that you're getting up to enjoy it and yeah I don't know what I'm gonna do this Friday what we're

gonna do for the episode who knows send me some ideas if you've got anything up your sleeve what you think what you'd like to listen to send it my way and yeah love you guys so much thank you for listening to this episode thank you if you sent in a dilemma a weekly debate a dilemma update any confessions get them in we'll do another confessions diaries episode i mean bit of an episode soon so get them sent in probably next week and yeah honestly I love you I'm so grateful for you I'm so grateful that we get to be in each other's lives another year together another birthday spent together you know and I'm just feeling very very grateful and just loving life loving you guys you're the best and yeah have an amazing day have an amazing week smash it out whatever it is you're doing best and yeah have an amazing day have an amazing week smash it out

whatever it is you're doing if you've got something challenging something scary coming up this week you can fucking do this feel the fear and do it anyway babe all right feeling motivational tonight yes we can do whatever we want all right guys love you so much i'll speak to you on friday for a brand new episode. All right. I love you. Bye.