Leah on the Line - 83: Emotional vs physical cheating & he told me he wants to sleep with other girls?!

Episode Date: September 11, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of lear on the line happy tuesday happy tuesday everybody how are you how's your weekend been it's tuesday it's the best day of the week and as well as fridays who woke up this morning and went newly on the line episode today or who's catching up i always love the thought of somebody listening in the future right now hello it is currently september 2023 it's been a hot week. Fucking hell, it's been a hot week. I am really excited because not this weekend, next weekend I'm going to Centre Parcs and I'm just happy it's not going to be freezing cold. I'm really excited. Everyone is going to be doing a bit of kayaking. We all know how I feel about the water even though i'm a natural australian

i don't go in the water very much okay so i'm still a bit still a bit ill still a bit ill but yeah i won't be getting in the water honey you better believe it they're all doing it apart from me darling i'll be firmly on the ground what else are we doing we're doing an escape room i can't even remember how much the fucking escape room cost but believe me it was an absolute rip-off a standard escape room is about 20 25 quid a person already a lot for an hour i've got to pay you to get out of this room do you know it's fun it's really fun it's one of my favorite things to do I absolutely love it and I'll tell you something yeah I'm really good at um I'm a bit of a wizard do you know what it is I'm not like clever in terms of my knowledge and school and stuff like that like I got by in school I passed all

of my exams apart from the one lesson me and Jess were allowed to sit next to each other in no surprise there but I am I'm more clever at like thinking outside of the box you know what I'm saying so yes kind of my thing escape rooms kind of my thing I kind of shine there and my dad thing. I kind of shine there. And my dad, we're going with my dad. And my brother, my dad's partner, my brother, my brother's girlfriend, me and Jamie, right? And my dad is the cleverest man. Is cleverest a word? Mount cleverest. What did it make me think of that?

Anyway, if there was a Mount cleverest, he'd be living there because he's really clever darling he's so clever we used to do pub quizzes a lot we haven't not a lot we've done we've done like three i just lied i just literally made that up but we went through a phase of doing them three weeks actually to be specific and he's just too smart like he will remember like the serial number of the gun that killed Franz Ferdinand. Like, he is, he just retains information very well. And he's really, really smart. So he, I'm going to feel a little bit competitive, like, getting the clues before him.

Do you know what I mean? And if he gets it all, I'm like, oh, I was going to say that. I'm a little bit competitive. I don't know if I've ever said that. I'm really competitive, especially with Jamie. I'm not that competitive with like friends and stuff. But with Jamie, there's something about it. If he beats me at anything, whether it be a game on our phone, badminton in the garden,

whatever it is, he's getting the silent treatment. And then if I win, I'm pissed off because I feel like he let me win. So it's a lose, lose really for him. But when I'm telling you, I get genuinely so mad. Do you know what it is? That boy loves to win and it pisses me off. It's not that I love to win. It's just that I don't love to lose, right? He loves to win. he loves to win and it gets me mad because you know what it is right when someone wins it's okay to celebrate it's okay to be like yes get in have it like even just tease you a little bit he will try and play it cool he'll be like good game good game piss off like you're buzzing like just celebrate you're buzzing and they'll be like good game good game

that was hard to be fair it was hard shut up with the pity that that wasn't easy it wasn't easy shut the fuck up it literally makes me so angry oh i'm getting angry even picturing him beating me anything right now anyway i hope you guys are all feeling really good today we have a good weekly debate we spoke about it previously. It's about the cheat-in. I won't spoil it because we're going to get there in about one minute's time. But yeah, I'm really looking forward to Centre Parcs. What else am I doing?

I went off track about losing. An escape room. Archery. Yeah. Well up for that. Everyone's like, why don't you do a bit of archery i was like yeah whose brilliant idea was that i'm i'm so bad at that kind of stuff i'm sport isn't really my thing like i'm not really a sporty girl i'm just not good at it like i just don't i just don't have that in me i'm just not very good at it my boyfriend's he's

a footballer like he's great at football and I not sporty my brother's a footballer I'm just my brother's girlfriend really sporty she plays netball she's a sporty gal right my dad's sporty grew up sporty bit old now bless him his wife not the sportiest so that's all right me not sporty but competitive so shit at sports don't like to lose them so anyway archery isn't like a competition is it oh god if it is me being me losing and having weapons in my hand not good I'm telling you now you better not put me head to head with Jamie because I can't be trusted anyway I'm really looking forward to this episode guys thank you so much for joining me for this episode thank you for being in my company thank you so much for having me in yours whatever it is that you're up to so happy to be

here together besties for life let's get into the episode thank you so much for having me in yours, whatever it is that you're up to. So happy to be here together, besties for life. Let's get into the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Lear on the Line. Head to learontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates. Enjoy the episode. Love you. Okay, everyone. This is a hard weekly debate for for me i feel like you guys are probably going

to find this easy but i find this hard so let me just dive straight in and read you the question shall i no fucking around today my question for you this week is what's worse emotional or physical cheating so would you rather would you rather someone actually i had a good would you rather question the other day would you rather this is so random would you rather come face to face with a bear grizzly bear a big grizzly bear yeah or a wolf isn't that hard it's actually quite hard because realistically wolves scary really scary like they're like angry nasty dogs well i'm sure they're actually really lovely and sweet it's just like you know they're in the wild you never know i don't know about lovely and sweet but you know what i'm saying anyway or a bear big giant so they're both hard because a

bear there's a chance it could just ignore you same as a wolf I suppose wolves they're probably quite quick but a bear you don't really stand a chance fighting it realistically I mean I don't know how well I'd fight a wolf. I probably couldn't even fight off a German shepherd, although I wouldn't want to because I absolutely love them. They're my favourite. Anyway, I honestly don't know what is going on with my brain today. I'm just going to get back to the weekly debate. So yeah, would you rather your partner turns to you and says, look, I think I'm in love with somebody else or I had sex with somebody else. Yeah, what is worse than that? Let's just go straight into what you guys think because I'm

torn, right? Okay, a lot of you are saying emotional is worse, just straight off the bat from looking here. Emotional, but both are the end of the road yeah that's the thing they're both shit aren't they um emotional that shit is worked up over time which hurts more yeah i know what you mean like a physical thing i went out i had sex with someone it was a one night decision i made that decision it was a bad decision that i made emotional this was not a decision that i made like i can't help it i'm in love with them okay that's a tough pill to swallow um someone says they're both as bad as each other yeah emotional for sure physical can mean nothing whereas emotional involves feelings yeah physical because you've actually acted on it yeah true who says that there isn't emotional

cheating behind the physical cheating you know i guess we're just talking one night stand made a split decision cheated on you or the real deep feelings involved oh okay emotional a thousand percent is the bonding with someone else outside of your partner for me yeah babe um i could have sex with no feelings attached and it generally mean nothing so emotional for sure yeah emotional a hundred percent no doubt oh my god emotional a hundred percent emotional without a doubt both are destroying somebody who lacks confidence and self-esteem yeah because either way it's gonna fucking destroy you innit emotional currently going through a breakup as my boyfriend did this to me no babes we love you we

got you but on the breakup episode honey emotional i fully believe that one of my friends emotionally cheated with another friend oh damn it both make me feel sick but it has to be emotional emotional it means they've got feelings physical for sure I think emotional cheating can be more accidental and happen gradual yeah I guess so I guess so I mean yeah yeah I guess I know what you mean by accidental like it's not like physical you went out your way you made a selfish decision I've decided to do this to you emotional it's not so much that I've decided to do this you know um probably physical because you're acting on the emotional so to me that's twice as bad oh i don't know yeah that's the thing i kind of see that as well both are obviously bad but i

think emotional hurts more more betrayal than a drunken mistake yeah it's so true you know emotional because physical is just the base need i'd feel worse if they love someone else that is so true yeah I couldn't forgive either but emotional 100% worse emotional I think although physical would be vile too so it's a hard one babe emotional because they have the decency to respect your body still not ideal though there's no way I can decide which is worse I'd be wrecked either way I think both but emotional messes with you on another level emotional because it deepens the experience of any physical too kept telling my ex this not knowing he was cheating and he used to cry in those chats oh my god it's one of them things where you look back and you're like oh well that makes sense

oh babes i love you both are bad but i think emotional hurts more as its feelings involved both are as bad as each other either way the trust is broken physical cheating emotional should be a red flag see ya physical emotional means they want they want to but still respect you physical they don't oh that's a great perspective actually emotional is they're thinking about it but they at least care enough for your feelings to not sleep with them or kiss them whatever physical they don't care about your feelings they've just gone and done it that's so true i haven't actually thought about that part of it physical emotional cheating or falling out of love doesn't happen on purpose yeah this is the thing it's not a decision when it's emotional okay so before

listening to your guys's response i was thinking physical was worse and i'll tell you why right because if somebody said to me i've got feelings for someone else it would crush me but i can I I don't think I'd be as angry inside and I don't think I'd feel as betrayed you know you obviously feel those feelings but I don't feel like it would be the same as like physical like if if someone come to you and said I slept with somebody else you feel sick you feel disgusting you're like oh my god I want to wash your touch off of my body, like, you feel sick, the thought of it, you would, you would envision it, you'd, I'd physically vomit, I think, whereas emotional, yeah, I don't have the image, I don't have the fact of, like like you have been inside her you know like that's disgusting that you've done that to me but emotional you literally you really like her and it's over then like I think the heartbreaking

thing is is if we're talking about being able to forgive I know obviously in that from the outside it's like if someone cheats it's fucking over no forgiveness right but i'm saying repress retrospectively is that a word really good at escape rooms remember that anyway if somebody came to you and said i've slept with somebody i regret it was the worst thing i've ever done i was drunk i hate myself I feel sick please don't make it right if you wanted to forgive someone you have a chance there because it was a one-night decision it was disgusting like awful whatever but if basically what I'm saying is if you wanted to forgive somebody and if you wanted to work on the relationship after being cheated on you have a chance of doing it if it

was a one-night bad decision if somebody comes to you and they say i'm in love with somebody else even if you wanted to move past it and go to go to couples counseling whatever to work through this cheating they don't want to they're in love with somebody else so you've been broken up with and cheat on you know what i'm saying so that's why i kind of felt like I don't know which is worse. It honestly depends on the situation, obviously. But after thinking about the responses, I do think emotional is worse. But at the same time, physical makes me feel violently ill, like sick, like sick. And I would, it would give me another level of trust issues. Like, I think if somebody came to me and said that they'd fallen in love with somebody else, moving forward into new relationships, you obviously carry trust issues and doubt and

stuff like that. But I think that easier to work through maybe than if somebody had gone out and fucked somebody else. Cause then it's like, but it happened so quick. You could go out and do it tonight you could do it you could have done it last night you could do it tomorrow night and it could be quick and i could have no idea and you could be the nicest we could have the most incredible relationship and you could just do that whereas emotional that's when you have

to wait for the red flags be suspicious of a certain person hear about them spending a lot of time with someone at work i don't know they're both hard i honestly can't choose but i guess i don't have to choose this isn't a game of would you rather guys it's just a weekly debate we've just got to balance them out there either way both fucking terrible oh maybe i should say what if i had to choose um oh you know what i'd i'm putting it actually you know what i'd rather it emotional oh no i don't know no i don't know because if i was cheating i want them to be on the floor mate i want to be on the floor i can't believe i've done this it's the worst thing i've ever done whereas if it's emotional you ain't gonna be doing that you're gonna be going straight to her that would fucking kill me so yeah i'd rather the physical and i'd rather you be on the

floor and i go see you later darling you can live with that you just lost the best thing that ever happened to you you know whereas if it's emotional you you can't have that energy how am i supposed to do my delulule going to bed every night thinking he's tossing it down in his bed thinking about me when he's in love with somebody else and he's gone and got the girl yeah physical i'm going for physical i'd rather be physically well actually i don't want to fucking say that i don't want to put that out there in the universe but what i'm saying is i think emotional cheating would be way way harder and more painful oh god hopefully um no one is being emotionally or physically cheated on right now guys oh my god imagine you know what's kind of crazy like out of all of us listeners like

there's kind of a chance that one of us is shut up not me sorry guys i cannot take that one for the team I'm afraid god no none of us are none of us are no way no way um and if you are fuck them see you later on to bigger and better you know all right love you let's get into some dilemmas okay everybody who's ready to get their thinking caps on let's give some mental advice i am not ready for this because if there's a cheating one in here we're all a little bit triggered but right now aren't we everyone's going to be questioning the bf and gf tonight no we're not no toxicity over here we're all healthy queens okay let's get into this one okay hi beautiful oh a little flirt hi honey for reference me and my boyfriend have been together for just over two years we've bought a house and have two cats and i'm very happy oh i love that for you me and my

boyfriend are 24 and my sister-in-law is 28 i have somewhat rocky relationship with her as she has been quite bitter about mine and my boyfriend's milestones e.g moving in buying a house together it comes across from a jealous point of view but i can't be 100 sure recently we were wanting to spend some time with my boyfriend's nephews age seven and four and had been asking weekly for a month if we could see them she kept saying okay assuming that her children that makes sense okay she kept saying they were busy and gave no alternative eg going around to see them or other dates they were free i ended up wondering if me or him had done something to upset her and that was why she didn't want us to have them around

so i asked if we had this was over text okay fantastic let's just fucking go in balls deep you know head held high sit with your chest you got a problem with me okay i'm sure you said it a lot more polite than that long story short this has blown up into a huge argument and she is not wanting to resolve things with me oh shit this is not good it's been over a week and she does not seem to care to make things nice again okay it's only been a week so let's not panic just yet it's only been a week it takes longer than that for the dust to settle you know um okay what should i do i've reached out and sent a lovely text however she has since blocked me okay she's not ready

she doesn't want to talk she's like fuck? She's, she's given that energy right now. I'd like to add that my boyfriend is on my side and has spoken to her, but this has not changed anything. Shall I ignore this situation and protect my peace? Or should I be questioning the relationship with my boyfriend due to the kind of environment our kids could be growing up in? Please help a girl out. Okay, definitely don't question your relationship because at the end of the day you can't you can pick your partner but you can't pick the people they're surrounded by unfortunately there's just gonna be sometimes a lot of the time to be honest there's sometimes one toxic person in someone's circle that you bang heads with you don't get on with you're too

similar to or you you know they feel in competition with you whatever it is it's just life um so I wouldn't question your relationship because chances are you can meet somebody else they could have a friend that you bang heads with or could be their mom you know whatever it sometimes it just happens and probably more often than people even would think because I I can imagine you know like think about all the people around you in your life and your family and your friends whatever not everyone is going to get on with everyone so I'm sure it just happens a lot you know so I wouldn't question your relationship over this um I'd say it's only been a week so there is definitely potential to sort things out sometimes things need to just blow up before they can settle again and sometimes you can go for a phase of

someone you know where it's you're just not getting on or she could be going through something you know she's obviously jealous or she feels in competition, or, you know, bitter, whatever it is, and that comes from somewhere, and that's a sad way for her to feel, so hopefully she'll heal from whatever it is that's causing them feelings, and if she doesn't, then it doesn't have to have a massive impact on you and your life, you know, like you say that you're happy together, very happy. You bought a house, you've got your cats, you know. So I would honestly give it a bit more time if you feel like you want to, maybe in a month, a couple of months, leave it a long time if you don't hear from her.

Maybe ask your boyfriend to send her a message and say look Lily really wants to talk to you I've named you Lily for some reason her name's not Lily by the way Lily really wants to talk to you you know the animosity is causing bad vibes no one likes it no one wants to live like this you're my sister I love you let's sort things And hopefully, because it's been so long, she might be like, okay, fine, my love, you know, and things can all be out in the open. You can say to her, look, tell me how you really feel. Tell me how you feel. If I annoy you, if I irritate you, just tell me. Let's get it out in the open. You're my partner's sister. You're important to him, which makes you important to me me and hopefully we can sort this out and if not that's okay it's honestly you can still have a happy relationship with this situation it doesn't

need to be so like um consuming you know i think give it a bit of time reach out again if not accept her for who she is keep her at a distance and enjoy your relationship and all the other great people around him and his life that you get on with you know that would be my advice to you but obviously do what you want love you good luck definitely give us an update that one definitely needs an update because i would love to know what she replies if she replies how things go what her issue is if she does have an issue so yeah please send me an update leahontheline.com all right love you next dilemma okay hi leah i love the pod and i've been listening for over a year oh my god besties for life i love you i listen to

your apps most mornings when i get ready oh my god you're getting ready right now you're looking stunning looking stunning look yourself in the mirror and say, I look stunning. Okay, just a quick dilemma. I feel really unappreciated by my boyfriend. Okay, well, good job. You just looked in the mirror and told yourself that you look stunning. For the last year, he rarely, and then in brackets, never, compliments me. Not my, sorry, huh? Not my posts on social media, not even when I dress up for our dates, etc. What? So you will get fully ready.

Take two hours getting ready, an hour, two hours, whatever. Come downstairs, I'm ready. He's like, cool, let's go. Are you taking the piss? Are you taking the piss? You're not even going to tell me I smell good and look good. Like what? I've tried to mention that I feel unappreciated but it doesn't seem to get it. But I feel like I'm begging for attention. What do you think I should do or am I just being a bit crazy? Love you girl. Any thoughts on this would be really appreciated.

Oh I'm so sorry you don't feel appreciated. Well I think you're gorgeous. I think stunning I think you're smart I think you're funny I think you're kind okay never forget it that's a difficult one and I'll tell you why right because some people what's it called words of affirmation it just doesn't come naturally to them he could think it and not say it well no actually because I was thinking right my brother he's been with his girlfriend basically forever right and they're not like really lovey-dovey he's not like oh my god i love you baby girl like you're the best thing ever but they just know it they're just banging love and they're just together they're just a unit right but i'm telling you for a fact if she if there was going on a date and she came down in a nice outfit and done her hair and makeup he'll go at the very least he'll go you look nice you know

because he's not a soppy bloke but he will definitely know he'll acknowledge oh she looks pretty and tell her you look nice I like I like them they knew they knew jeans whatever so at first I was thinking maybe it's just not in him but then at the end of the day surely that's just instinct that someone's got dressed up and you tell them they look nice or if they post on Instagram you go oh I saw your picture earlier you look well pretty in that when did you take that you know I mean even just oh that's a nice photo on Instagram earlier do you know what I mean so honestly you know what I'm gonna say you deserve better babe i just think to you to someone out there in the world that wouldn't bother them you don't need to tell me i look nice whatever i know you fancy me we're sweet to someone they wouldn't it don't bother them but to you you

want to hear it it makes you feel unappreciated you want to hear it and you deserve to hear it so I would ask yourself if when we communicate this when I communicate this to you you turn around and tell me I don't see what the problem is you're then telling me okay well I just have to accept this then you don't see the problem which means you're not gonna go okay yeah fair enough like I just thought you always look pretty I don't say it but I'll say problem, which means you're not going to go, okay, yeah, fair enough. I just thought you always look pretty. I don't say it, but I'll say it next time. If you're not even giving me that at the very least, where do we go from here? Like, what am I supposed to do with that energy? You're not actually acknowledging it. We had this last week, didn't we? Well, they weren't even acknowledging what they were doing wrong. So what I'm saying to you is the same thing I said to her. He's not going to start giving you what you want and deserve because he's not seeing the

problem in the first place he doesn't agree that it's a problem so what we have to do now is ask yourself look at this boy is he worth the way that it's making you feel because that's the way he's going to make you feel that's what he's telling you by saying oh i don't really see the problem you know um he he doesn't seem to get it that's what you said and you by saying, oh, I don't really see the problem. You know, um, he, he doesn't seem to get it. That's what you said. And you feel like you're begging for attention. You should not have to beg for attention. Like, okay, listen, every now and then I'll say to my boyfriend, hello, do I look nice? And then he'll go, what? Yeah, sorry. Yeah, sorry, babe. But most of the time he'll just say it, but I will, I will pull him just say it but i will i will

pull him up on it and i will say hello hello same as him he'll be like you haven't told me i look nice today so i'm not very nice do you know what i mean and we can acknowledge it and go oh yeah sorry i actually didn't say it but i did think yeah i did think it but for him to turn around and go well i don't really get the problem i just don't get it oh okay so I just have to accept it then that's what you're telling me and that is your decision I think that is where you're standing now if that's what you want to accept in your relationship do I want to accept that I'm in a relationship where I'm just not going to get compliments and I'm not going to get bigged up and made to feel beautiful and the best thing in the

world is that something I'm willing to accept if not we have one more conversation of like look I've communicated this with you before and I don't think you've realized how serious I am I really feel shit because you don't acknowledge me when I've made an effort you don't tell me I look beautiful you don't acknowledge the posts I post on social on social media i'm telling you it's affecting me and my self-esteem i feel like a beg at the very least i want my boyfriend to compliment me when i've dressed up for a date night with you and if he can't turn around and go yeah okay that's fair that's when you have to write that you have the right to say that's just not what I want in a partner and unfortunately I won't be investing and I'm out you know give a bit of dragon's den babe so yeah that's my advice

to you obviously I'm not emotionally involved so it's a lot easier for me to say that but hopefully just hearing that might help you make you think something might make you realize something I'm not sure whatever but I hope it was helpful at the very least and please update us let us know what you decide to do I love you and you're beautiful okay next dilemma hey Leah absolutely love the pod and never had a reason to write in until now. Oh love you. So background story. In Feb I left a three-year relationship because I knew he wasn't my person and didn't make me happy. Then I found my now partner a month after ending my last relationship. My current relationship we've been been together for five months now and everything was perfect for the first two months and I really thought I found the one okay until I recently discovered I have a

serious case of the ick and I feel like he doesn't want to impress me anymore or spoil me in other words he's way too comfortable and now feeling more like a friend. I think this is all built up because of the little things. For example, we'll go out for meals and he will ask me to send him half. I have no problem with paying my way and treating him. I do take him out for food and pay. And when he says he wants me to send him half and I don't want to accept that, I will. Okay. And when he pays, he wants me to send him half and I don't want to accept that sorry I'm going to give that one more go and I don't want to accept that I will never be treated to nice hotels and meals like I have experienced before in my past relationship and I don't know

if that's a sackable offense or if I'm being materialistic he's so nice his personality is so kind and he's everything I ever wanted before so i just wish i could settle for him oh god and live a happy life and not hurt his feelings if i decide to end things i know he's not the right person for me and he'll make another girl very happy but i know i won't be better off without him oh you won't be better off about him I like talking to him he does make me laugh but I think more of a friend way can feelings ever grow back and can you ever recover from the ick I'm confused by I know I won't be better off without him okay um I think the relationshipick and i think we kind of agree that it is not it is the ick is um it comes back to get the ick after two months i think it kind of says a lot because

I think it kind of says a lot because you're still in your honeymoon period you should be that like oh my god they can do no wrong you know well not necessarily to be fair but you know it's early days to be getting the ick in my opinion and if you've had the ick for three months and you didn't have the ick for only two of those months, I think you can't stay with him because he's nice and he's kind. Because at the end of the day, just because they're nice and they're kind doesn't mean they're right for you or that you find them attractive, you know. Obviously, you do find him attractive to some extent, but to get the ick the attractiveness kind of it fizzles out a little bit so I would just say like you know it's early days it's not like you've been together for years and it's a killer. It's a killer sometimes. Um,

I think sometimes it goes away. Sometimes it goes away and you can feel all obsessed again, but it comes back. So I would just say, you, you say like, you know, he make another girl really happy and all of this. I think we you're not being selfish by ending the relationship it could be seen as selfish to stay in the relationship like if someone had the ick with me I don't want them to be with me like if I'm giving you the ick let me go please that's embarrassing for me to stay with me I'm giving you the ick so yeah that's what I would say, babe, to be brutally honest, I would just say, you know, to be five months in, you've had the ick for three months,

you're debating ending it, five months in, I would just say, listen to that, and what feels right, yeah, update us, let us know what you do i love you okay let's do another one oh what the fuck guys this is a big one holy shit okay my boyfriend told me he wants to shag um are you kidding me well fuck off then fuck off fuck off hi leah i love you in the pod so much i love you so much i've been listening for over a year and i never thought i'd be submitting a dilemma but here we are here we are let's do this so for context my boyfriend and i are both 19 and have been together for three years and out of nowhere last night he came home a bit drunk and called me okay so it's been on his mind while he was out he said how he can't get over the fact i've had sex with someone before me he said that every time we've ever had sex it's all he thinks about obviously i felt awful for

him and i had no idea as he's never mentioned it before after this he proceeded to say he wishes he had had sex with someone else before we got together which i kind of understood yeah okay for context he had never had sex with anyone else before we got together and i had then he said that sometimes he worries he'll get bored of me in a few years time I might want to venture out uh if you're worried about that sweetheart let me do you a favor fuck off what the hell um I said if you want to do that, I don't want to be with you. And he said, um, what? And he said, and ended, okay. And he said, and ended the conversation with, I don't want to lose you though. Right. So I'm going to stay with you on the note that you might go out and fuck somebody one day, or at least be gagging for it. You're already gagging for it now. Okay. I really, really don't know what to do.

I understand that it might be difficult because he feels insecure about my past partner, but it's literally in the past and I can't change it. And you shouldn't have to. Like what? Additionally, I feel so much more anxious about the fact about him cheating on me now. He said that he's considered shagging other women and also isn't that the most disgusting thing to hear your boyfriend say yes yes it is i really don't know if i should be considering a breakup any advice would be really appreciated love you sorry it's really long oh my god don't be silly okay how long have you been together three years three years and you're telling me now that you want to

fuck somebody else because I had sex with one person before you if somebody said that to me it would genuinely have to be the end of the road like I'd never forget it I'd never ever forget it I'd have so many worries I'd be constantly thinking like what made you think that on your night out do you know what I mean like where did that thought come from that you had to get home and call me about this we having a conversation with the boys did you see a girl that you're like oh on a piece of that ass like I would just want I'd be like what you fucked it now like you've told me how you feel which is fine like I say fucking fail do you know what i mean

but i wouldn't be able to get past it so that's a really difficult one because unless he can say to you and mean it with his chest you know what i wasn't thinking straight i said that on that night but it's the first time i've thought it it's not a thought that goes through my head a lot trust me you are enough for me you're all i want I'll happily spend my life with you being the only person I've ever slept with we can maybe try to work through this and the new insecurities I now have thank you very much but otherwise like no I'm insecure now I feel shit now I don't feel good enough now so obviously that's just how it made me feel. I don't know how it's made you feel, but I can imagine very shit, very shit. So

I think ask yourself, is the way that this conversation has made you feel recoverable? Can, where, where do you go from here? Maybe it's a's a case of okay well let's end the relationship he goes off and does his thing you go off and do your thing if you're meant to be together it will you will come back together one day and he won't have this thing you need to get off his chest but maybe not maybe this is just the end of, maybe he isn't someone that can just say, yeah, I've only slept with one person, which I understand, I don't think I would want to spend my one time on the planet saying that I'd only slept with one person, I think I'd also be curious and whatever, so I don't blame him for feeling like that. But the way he said it to you is not very nice and kind

of cruel, kind of mean. So I don't blame him for how he's feeling. But what he said to you is kind of fucked. Like I wouldn't, if I felt like him, I would end my relationship. And I would not tell that person that that is what I'm feeling or thinking because that's not nice but I do also understand that he doesn't want to end the relationship but he also has this feeling so he is in a difficult situation here that he is feeling these feelings but also doesn't want to lose you but I think this is where you have to be strong and say look you need to make a decision here what is more important to you your feelings are fine I understand what you're saying to me I get it but you need to be the one to make the decision if you want to be with me and if I am enough for you because if you can sit here and tell me that only sleeping with me your whole life isn't enough for you you need to walk away from me

because that's not fair on anyone you know but it's hard it's really hard you know his feelings i understand them but saying that to you saying like the words he his choice of words were actually fucked like i'm really sorry that you had to sit there and listen to that and also over the phone as well but how the hell you meant to sleep after that anyway i better go love you good chat anyway i'll let you go like thanks thanks for that feel like pure shit you know so yeah honestly i would say you need to have a real serious conversation here a real serious conversation and i think he needs to make a decision you can't decide for him if it's enough for him to only sleep with one

person you know the way he's feeling I can get it but at the same time don't keep me in a relationship if if it's not enough for you that's not fair on me so yeah honestly good luck and just remember that whatever happens like it's not about you not being enough it's not about you it's just about the life experience that he wants for himself and that's not personal like if you'd met him and he'd had sex with a few people you it might have been a different story but it might not off and you never know and there's no point even thinking about that to be honest because that's not the situation but what i'm saying is it's not you so don't take this personally don't think oh my god i wasn't enough because it's understandable what he's feeling and it's not

a reflection of you but to deliver the news like that was kind of selfish um and not very nice so yeah i'd say look we need a fucking conversation about this let's not ignore the elephant in the room what you said to me, it's not okay. I'm really upset. It's really affected my self-esteem. I don't feel secure in the relationship anymore. I don't know what you're thinking or feeling. I don't know where I stand.

I don't know where this leaves us. We need to sort this out right now. Maybe go on a break. Who knows? Do you believe in a break? I think we did that weekly debate, actually. Yeah, so this is soft launch for a breakup that's what the verdict was but in this situation it's kind of different

if it's that you know I feel like I need to go away and figure out what it is I want I don't know yeah I love you babe just remember it's not about you you're incredible okay oh that's a tough one that was a good dilemma we haven't had that one before I think fantastic all right oh I'm sorry I'm really sorry that you had to hear that though that's actually awful that's actually so fucked all right guys well on a lighter note let's get into the Confession Diaries. Okay, everybody, welcome in, welcome in. This is a safe space. You'll see who's safe in here. Welcome in, welcome in. Close the the doors to safe space okay the confession

diaries we're opening the book we're having a read this first one i'm going to start with it was sent in as a dilemma update but i kind of wanted to read it in the confession diaries because it's just kind of like a fucking funny story like it's it's a great story it's not really a confession from her but i'm going to include it because it was well not a funny story like it's it's a great story it's not really a confession from her but I'm gonna include it because it was well not a funny story not funny but you'll see what I mean all right we'll get into it okay so this is a this is just a story time ready okay this story is going on nights out and not speaking to me he wouldn't come home until maybe the next morning but sometimes days anyway i was kind of young but definitely done then and i used to get

so mad but then was like okay no worries so this one time he was supposed to be watching the football with his friends but i'd woke up and he wasn't home. So stupid me thought, oh my God, something's happened to him. I'm left all night going crazy. Even rung the police and hospitals thinking something bad had happened. Well, then he rolls in the morning. Listen to this excuse. This, I can guarantee you none of you have heard this excuse before with a cheater. You ready? excuse before with a cheater you ready I got jumped in the petrol station on the way home

and was knocked out all night on the floor you're knocked out all night was you oh no way that's that's crazy babe oh my god are you okay it's so crazy because you literally don't have a scratch on your body, and then she put, are you okay, hun, even then, I didn't believe him, but he had an A star in gaslighting, so I was like, oh no, we need to get you to a hospital, if it's that bad, and you were unconscious all night, but there he is, like, oh no, it's that bad and you were unconscious all night but there he is like oh no it's okay now i'm fine now i'll just sleep it off honestly when i read this i was like that is just fucking hilarious like did he think this through i'd love to know oh do you know what i'll just tell her i

just got fucking knocked out and just passed out all night in the petrol station why first of all why a petrol station why were you at a petrol station luckily i'm not with him now he's a c-u-n-t and had awful breath love you bye i read it i was just cracking up like sorry babe i was literally knocked clean out like all night in a petrol station oh my god oh my god are you okay right let's get you to hospital oh no no it's fine i'm fine i'll sleep off what so fucked oh okay let's get into some proper confessions are you ready this one's kind of crazy i was on an 11 and a half hour flight home after being away for two weeks alone the guy next to me was cute I was in the middle and there was a lady by the window so three in a row the lady slept almost the entire flight because it was a

night flight but when I was trying to get comfy to sleep my leg touched the guy's then he put his closer and soon enough his hand was on my leg and my head was cuddled up into his arm this is a whole stranger like a whole fucking stranger okay sure no communication had taken place we had blankets over us and I thought fuck it so I moved my leg under his a bit so that his hand slipped further up my thigh he then turned to me and whispered in my ear he then turned to me and whispered in my ear, you're going to get me in trouble. I'm sick. Did I just give anyone the ick? Like, if you had headphones in right now,

I'd fully just whispered in your ear. I later found out he was on a work trip. Okay, so there was communication later down the line. I said, I don't care. And I put my hand on his trousers soon enough his hands were down my pants and i had a fucking beautiful orgasm on a plane with a stranger with a woman next to me asleep fell asleep cuddling him i'm sorry is fuck it is this true is it true it's creative if it isn't if it is it's wild it's wild fell asleep cuddling him and found out later he was 29 and i'm 20 i don't know if i believe you no i do because i don't think you're a liar but that's wild

you're gonna get me in trouble i don't care just fucking fingers you're on a plane and you had an orgasm geez okay slow girl okay love it that's my favorite one for a while my favorite one for a long time months actually okay let's do a couple um the girl i like said she wants to end her relationship for me and she's unhappy huh huh the girl i like said she wants to her relationship for me and she's unhappy in hers the girl i like anyone else struggling with that the girl i like said she wants to i'm assuming end her relationship for me and she's unhappy in hers i'm assuming this is a good thing right yeah babe i'm assuming you're saying she's gonna end your relationship she's no she's gonna end her relationship to be with you okay love it congratulations sorry for the her partner though not ideal for them but

great for you i set up a fake instagram account and still use it to spy on people i want to know how many of you guys have finsters i need to do that as a weekly debate do you have a finster account because i would love to know what percentage of people do should we do that maybe we can do that on a friday episode some kind of one i'm not sure i was mad at my boyfriend so i unhooked the cable boxes from his tvs before i left his place fucking love it this married man at work has been sending me nudes oh shit shit that is risky business my darling i slept with my ex in my parents bed i didn't have a bed and they were away why didn't you have a bed oh were you staying in their house, you don't live there, maybe you were getting a bed delivered,

maybe, I'm not sure what the story is, but that, wow, okay, I'm flirting with my ex-co-worker, who my ex hated, as I found out he may have cheated, oh, not the revenge revenge it's the revenge for me i don't blame you to be honest um i am a bit of a sucker for a revenge cheating story i love them we did it last week i love to hear about them as you should to be honest with you all right guys this episode's getting kind of long so i'm gonna wrap it up but send in your confessions if you have any send them in leerontheline.com and let's wrap up the episode okay everybody thank you so much for listening if you're here at the very end of the episode i love you thank you so much guys I'm really nervous so I'm going to London on Wednesday right I'm getting I think it's called IPR so you know I'm

doing my aligners treatment right and there's this thing I think it's called IPR where they basically file in between your teeth to create space because if there's like if they're touching them it's harder for them to like slot into place and stuff so they file it's basically a nail file for your teeth and it creates these tiny little gaps they've assured me they're just tiny they're just tiny the aligners will close them yeah but what if they don't and i'm really scared i'm really nervous about it but i trust them i'm going to dr richard who is apparently a bit of a legend in the teeth world he did like Rita Roars teeth he did Anne-Marie's teeth just a

couple of names at the top of my head he's gonna do Lear and the Lion's teeth I'm petrified I'm gonna come out gaps on my teeth to be fair i actually think you know when people have a gap between their two front teeth i actually think it's really cute like it is actually such vibe but i have i get anxiety when something changes in my appearance and i don't recognize myself so i'm really scared that's going to be really noticeable and it'll freak me out and i'm like whoa but it'll be fine i'll be fine but yeah oh apart that, not an exciting week planned for this week, just looking forward to Centre Parcs next week, it's my nephew's birthday on Thursday, also my niece started gymnastics, we took her to her first session, it was so sweet, oh bless her, oh, I just love her,

love her so much, uh, what are your favourite baby names, I would love to know what you guys named your babies oh do you guys have babies can they hear me right now hi hey hey babe can they hear me oh aren't kids the best when you feel anxious although sometimes it's really hard to know when you're really anxious and you can't you're like disassociating and you're around kids and it's really hard because you don't want them to be like oh what the heck is up with her today because she's they're not going to notice i mean they're not going to know what it looks like when someone's disassociating but you know and you're scatty brained and they're like leah and you're like what yeah what what i can't think right now and they're like oh look what i drew and you're like oh that's amazing and inside you're like in that hard take my hat off to all you mums and dads out there all right guys thank

you so much for listening to this episode I love you appreciate you more than anything in the whole world and I will speak to you on Friday for a brand new episode all right i love you bye