Leah on the Line - 84: My mum copies EVERYTHING I do & am I moving on too fast?

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leah on the line happy tuesday happy tuesday everybody how are you how's weekend? How's your Monday? Oh my god. Where do I fucking start guys? Last week was one of the scariest weeks of my life. There was one moment in my life that was scarier than last week. But I won't get into it too much because it's not really my place to say, but a member of my family had an accident. Luckily they are fine. Thank the fucking everyone. Thank whoever is responsible. Thank you universe. Whoever. Thank you. But Oh my God, it was so scary guys. I'm like, I've got like PTSD from it. like I've got like serious post-traumatic

stress like it was hard enough being in the moment and being in the hospital and like it actually happening if but it's after now that it just feels like um it's crashing down on me and I'm like whoa holy shit and it's triggered my health anxiety my fear of death my fear of losing people like oh my god it's just sent me spiraling man like bad but I'm just trying to get through one day at a time to be honest and not be too hard on myself because it was really fucking scary and I'm just so grateful like I've been laying in bed at night going thank you universe thank you universe thank you universe thank you universe because oh Jesus Christ but yeah I have been really quiet on all my socials that is why obviously won't miss a pod just because I've done really well at staying consistent regardless of my mental health because obviously you guys

know before when times were hard for me there wasn't a Friday episode I wouldn't miss a Tuesday I think I missed one Tuesday in my life and that was when I was away locked up for Love Island but other than that it's just Fridays because they're bonus episodes if I've if my mental health has been bad or if I've had too much going on around me or whatever I'll miss it but recently I've just been smashing it out regardless and I can't tell you how good it feels like I just I realized that the thought of it sometimes when your mental health is bad the thought of it of like being able to just go hi everyone how are you welcome back seems impossible but then as soon as I pick the mic up and I'm chatting to you all I feel better so I think once I learned that I was okay, I can just do this, like, it does make me feel better, I love this, so, yeah, regardless of last week, I'm here, it was just really fucking scary,

it just feels like everything's just too much right now, like, it's just too much, but do you know what is going on in my head, on a side note, yes, yes, yes, thank you for the rolls, mmm, roses, it's just, I'm losing the plot, losing, losing the plot, is that, is that saying, losing the plot, why does that not sound right, I've lost the plot, I'm losing the plot, it doesn't sound right, yes, yes, yes, thank you for the rolls, yes, yes, yes, mmm, roses, it's going around in my head over and over, like, what the fuck, isn't it funny, like, I scroll through the TikTok live, and it'll just be someone doing their makeup, like, oh yeah, it's, it's from Mac, it's Mac, give me sun, scroll, yes, yes, yes, thank you for the rose, and I'm like, whoa, scroll, someone's selling clothes in TikTok shop, scroll,

someone's like, yes, thank you, thank you for the rose, it's like, what is going on, it's scary, I feel like we're living in a simulation, that just trippy but anyway oh I'm happy to be here grateful to the universe grateful for all of you grateful for my health grateful for my mental strength grateful for everybody around me and yeah I didn't want to not say anything about last week because I'm not going to be 100% myself today and I don't want you guys to think that anything else is going on or that I'm not enjoying this it's just you know it's it's just life darling at the end of the day it throws curveballs but yeah just feeling really lucky that things turned out the way they did and I just love my family so much okay

but anyway on a lighter note it's a Tuesday it's Dilemma's weekly debate day hope you're all feeling really good I'm going to Centre Parcs on Friday that's going to be really fun I'm actually really buzzing for it I hope I can enjoy myself like I'm doing that thing where like when I've got something good coming up and I'm struggling mentally I'm like oh I hope I can enjoy it I hope I can enjoy it like I did on my birthday it's like just tell yourself you will enjoy it and I've got a holiday next month I'm like oh god I hope nothing happens before then I hope I can enjoy it blah blah just fucking live your life and enjoy it babe you know oh my head's a weird place right now it's hell in there it is hell in there it's dark darling it's it's crazy but anyway I probably shouldn't talk too much because if I keep going

I'll just make everybody turn off because it's like well that's fucking depressing isn't it but yeah we're gonna switch up the the energy now Everything's good. Everything's happy. Feeling good. Feeling grateful. Let's get into the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Lear on the Line. Head to learontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates. Enjoy the episode.

Love you. Okay, everybody. Let's get into the weekly debate. It's a good question this week. I was just thinking about it recently and I thought this is a good thing to discuss. I feel like I can probably predict what you guys are going to say about it, but let's just have a little look. Okay. My question for you today is how important is star sign compatibility to you oh actually I've got a tongue twister for you all black background brown background try and say that 10 times black background brown background black background brown background fucking killed it I absolutely killed that black background brown background black background brown background black

background but I was really on a roll then me and jamie was doing tongue twisters in bed the other night just looking at them on google and i'm quite good at them just because like when you go to like singing lessons or school or you do theater or whatever you will see tongue twisters as a warm-up so over the years i'm actually a bit of a legend when it comes to tongue twisters like unique new york you know i actually messed up unique New York New York unique unique New York New York unique unique New York New York unique red lorry yellow lorry red lorry yellow lorry red lorry yellow lorry red lorry yellow lorry red lorry yellow lorry I'm actually just kind of I kind of slay at them but black background brown background really stumped me. How's that? I think I'm actually

not good at something. Joking. Black background, brown background. It's hard. Everyone's giving it a go right now. Isn't that fun? Black background, brown background, black background, brown background. Oh, it's tough. Anyway, carrying on with the weekly debate. Okay, so how important is star sign compatibility to you let's have a little look I'm guessing it's probably not that important but I'm sure there's people out there I'm sure there is that it's like look if our star signs aren't compatible if if the stars aren't aligning you gotta go there's got to be people out there you know let's have a little look if there's any of you guys okay straight off the bat couldn't care less fantastic zero percent I think star signs are

so fun I love being a Pisces but star sign compatibility doesn't matter um I like to know to figure out more about the other person and what they're like in a relationship so true and also I feel like it's just a fun icebreaker conversation starter. You will get some of those guys and girls that when you say, what's your star sign? They go, snooze, not one of them. She's a star sign girl or he's a star sign guy. And people think, oh, snooze, shut the fuck up. But if you think that, I've already learned one thing. You're not for me because I love it. You know, what's your star sign? I'll tell you something, right? When I found out Jamie was an Aries and I went on to Google

and put Aries and it said ideal partner, Leo, I thought this shit's amazing. This shit is good, you know? And when I think about it, any ex-partners situationships they've all said incompatible they've all said like a 10 situation or very low and look at it you know and apparently Leo and Aries they're like each other's number one and what can I say you know and when you believe in like twin flames soulmates and then you meet someone and when you believe in, like, twin flames, soulmates, and then you meet someone, and it's, like, you feel like they're your twin flame, and then it's, like, your star signs are each other's number one, it's, like, well, this, you know, it all starts to make sense, but don't get me wrong, when I look at it, and it says, like, 10% I'll be like oh it's a load of rubbish you know

even though it's turned out not to be so hmm but I'm sure there's so many relationships where it says you're incompatible but you've been like married 20 years you know anyway back to you guys um not very I think it's a good indicator of personality traits but that's about it so true I love looking at their um is it like strengths and weaknesses I think it's a good indicator of personality traits but that's about it so true I love looking at their um is it like strengths and weaknesses I think it's called and it'll be like stubborn selfish self-centered I'll be like oh my god but then when you look at Leo it says that we're stubborn and we're just I'm just not like I'm just not stubborn and it's really annoying because when when you try and argue that you're not stubborn you sound stubborn I'm just not, like, I'm just not stubborn, and it's really annoying, because when, when you try and argue that you're, you're not stubborn, you sound stubborn, I'm not stubborn, you sound stubborn, but I'm actually really not, like, I don't hold grudges, like, I'm, I'm not really, like, a,

you know, that, you've done me twice, shame on me situation, where I'm like, that's it, like, it's over between us, like, we're not friends anymore, anymore like I will forgive and forget quite easily like I don't have any bad blood with exes any ex friendships I wish everyone the best love you like like great you know like live your life happy for you I'm not stubborn like I don't hold anger and like and also like if I have an argument I'm not like I'm not I'm not making up I'm not making up like I'll very easily even when they're 100% in the wrong which most of the time they are I'll very very I'll very easily go to and be like you want to cuddle you know I can't I'm not really stubborn because I can't be bothered I think the reason I'm not stubborn is I just CBA with it it just feels long like like like throwing a tantrum feels a bit long

don't get me wrong every now and then I'm a bit like no I'm really peed off I'm really peed off with you but most of the time I'm happy to nip it in the bud because I can't be bothered life's too short so there we go how accurate is star sign but to be fair i'm a twin i'm a 22nd of august leo that is the last day of being a leo now don't get me wrong i am one of those leos i think all of us leos are like this well we're very proud to be a leo okay we're leo the lion and we're proud so yeah i might be on the cusp but you don't need to know it, you know, and I don't think I'm actually, what's the other one? Is it a Virgo? Let's have a look at how similar I am to a Virgo because apparently like when you're on the cusp, it says that you're, you know, a bit of both.

So let's see, because I would consider myself a typical Leo. Okay, so a Virgo is from August 23rd. I would consider myself a typical Leo. Okay, so Virgo is from August 23rd. I was born 10 to 7am on August 22nd. Okay. Let's have a look. Strengths. Loyal. I am loyal. Analytical. What does that mean? What's analytical? I don't know what analytical means. Kind. Yeah, well, yeah. kind yeah well yeah hard working um I don't think I work harder than like anybody else so to call someone hard working I just I just put in work but I wouldn't say like I'm really hard working I just grind grind grind like I my main focus is doing what I love so I actually yeah I wouldn't say I'm like I'm a hard, I'm a hard worker, I'm a hard worker, but I've always worked, you know? I don't know. Practical.

What does practical mean? How can somebody be practical? How can somebody be practical? I guess like you think logically, like let's be practical about the situation, you know? I'm not sure if I am that. Weaknesses, shyness. See, how can you be on the cusp of a Leo who is outgoing confident and then a day later you're shy you know what I mean if you're born a day later it's like

oh they would have been really confident but day later like if you were just a couple of hours late and you slipped into the 23rd you're gonna be shy isn't that just weird worry mm-hmm yeah but don't we all you know overly critical of self and others i'm overly critical of myself but then again aren't we all do you know what i mean i'm i'm definitely not critical of others um all work and no play absolutely not darling no no no so that's what i mean virgo likes animals healthy food books nature and cleanliness okay love animals but most people do healthy food yeah sure books not really a reader wish i was nature not lover of it but like i love going on my dog walks and stuff but i'm not like someone that's like yeah i just love being out there in the nature like i wish i was i'm sure cleanliness um my entire family would disagree um dislikes rudeness yeah but again who likes rudeness you

know love a bit of rudeness dislikes asking for help um bit of rudeness. Dislikes asking for help. Yeah, I would say I don't like asking for help. Dislikes taking center stage, you know, this is what I mean. How can you be opposite to a Leo a day later? That's what makes no sense to me. Because listen, listen to this, Leo, right? This is a day before. Likes, theatre, taking holidays, being admired, expensive things, bright colours, fun with friends, right? Dislikes, being ignored, facing difficult reality, not being treated like a king or queen. And strengths, creative, passionate, generous, warm-hearted, cheerful, humorous. Me, me, me, me, me, me. You know? Weaknesses, arrogant, false. you know weaknesses arrogant false I'm actually not arrogant I'm actually very um I definitely have severe imposter syndrome so stubborn false self-centered can be will admit it lazy can be

will admit it inflexible uh no I disagree with that one so yeah i'd say i'm a pretty strong leo you know hold on a damn minute why does it say greatest compatibility aquarius gemini that's changed hold on i just need to double check something leo and aries compatibility um extremely compatible yeah that's what i like to see that's what i like to see Leo and Aries, compatibility. Extremely compatible. Yeah, that's what I like to see. That's what I like to see. Here we go, guys.

This is me and Jamie, ready? Aries and Leo, sexual and intimacy, 90%. That's what we love to see, guys. Trust, 60%. Okay, let's find out why. They both think highly of themselves and see how their surroundings react to their partner leo is a strong-willed attractive masculine sign oh yeah it's giving daddy and no matter if male or female they will have this magnetic aura around them most of the time well what can i say this will make Ares strangely jealous and possessive,

ready to fight for what belongs to them. Oh my god. No one can ever possess Leo, the king of the Zodiac. Yeah. Well, guys, you know, I didn't say it. Still, their mutual understanding for the passionate nature they share and the determination for both partners to solve any problem that stands in their way might just make them stay together for years building security and trust every day i'd say we're very trusting though i genuinely would okay communication and intellect let's see 90 get on probably all thanks to me you know it's really given leo right now um okay what's next emotions 99 percent

they understand each other's emotional state perfectly okay aries and leo values 95 percent aries and leo shared activities 65 percent okay i can i can Activities, 65%. Okay, I can deal with that. Okay, summary, 83%. Skiving, Skiving, perfect. It's just not, is it? Not me just ignoring the other. Wait, wait, wait, wait. 17%. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyway. Oh, I went right off on one there anyway let's carry on seeing if you guys actually consider it important or not um not important at all though if I do see our star signs match it does make me happy yeah see that's me um not important it's just fun if you are compatible not bothered but i do like to look at it it's fun but not a deal breaker i'm a leo and i love that i'm compatible with my fiancee okay here we go this is interesting every failed relationship i've had they were an aquarius and had similar traits now oh had similar traits now with a Taurus and I have the best relationship and our star sign compatibility is 10 out of 10 so it all makes sense well there you go you heard it here first guys um everyone basically not everyone lots of you are saying it's totally irrelevant to you

all of my boyfriends have been Leo so I guess it's pretty important to me interesting interesting what about when we're talking fire and water signs because obviously like fire and water supposed to be a bad match right but then actually some people say yeah no it's meant to be a bad match because like the water sign puts out the fire and you like lose yourself you know fire and fire depending on the fire sign because like a leo and a leo to me would be pure fucking chaos mate that would be chaos but jamie's a fire sign but he's introverted and i'm extrovert well i'm not actually that extroverted but i'm more extrovert less introverted than him anyway um me and my boyfriend star signs are compatible been together seven years now and engaged well everybody there you go not important at all i

don't even know what his is oh my god um not that important but all my exes were sagittarius men and it never worked out okay okay i'm quite into star signs to be honest but i wouldn't base my relationship off of it um literally zero i don't even know who my compatible signs are and i don't really believe it never thought about me but i always date the same sign without realizing oh my god that's so weird not important important, but not important. Oh, okay. Not important. It isn't always true. 50-50.

If I read we were a match and have all positive vibes, but not a match, it doesn't bother me. Someone says, I don't even know my own star sign, mate. Imagine not knowing your own star sign. That you that is the most like carefree free spirited energy like I actually kind of love that energy from you means nothing I'm already fussy enough about adding this into the mix such a mood irrelevant um don't give a crap to be honest it's non-existent people are sometimes the opposite to what their star sign reads yeah i know what you mean because my brother obviously we're twins right but we're very different like very different so yes that's a weird one isn't it but then i guess leo men are different to leo women so men are from mars women are from venus at the end of the day

if that has any relevance to this I'm not sure but anyway interesting guy so by the sounds of it no one really gives a fuck enough to be like sorry uh you're a Gemini can't do that but if it is like you're compatible it's like slay I love that you know like when somebody says to me like oh are you compatible are your star signs compatible with your boyfriend i love telling them that we are i'm not gonna lie yeah yeah his ideal match is a leo and here along i mean and along i came you know your leo queen king of the zodiac masculine energy yes give a mommy let's give a mommy oh i love that weekly debate guys oh 22 minutes on the timer right now lucky number oh i'd love to know what your angel numbers are because mine's 22 but then to be fair

i do see a lot of angel numbers but the one that always makes me feel something in my whole body is 22 and i see a lot and every time i see it i'm like but then maybe it's because it's my birthday and i am a leo so everything's about me all right guys let's get into some dilemmas okay you guys who's ready yes yes yes thank you for the rolls okay let's just dive straight into this dilemma hey angel i need some advice i got you babe cut a long story short i used to go to this restaurant local to me at least once a week with my ex-boyfriend there was this one waiter that would always look at me and give me that

look we all know yeah we know the look we know the look the double take you're staring a bit long your head starts to turn before your eyes go you know recently the restaurant had closed due to refurbishment and only just reopened i messaged him to see if they had reopened yet as online wasn't accurate yeah yeah that old chestnut i think i don't know if the website's right are you open he's like hey babe he replied telling me it was but we just carried on messaging from that i do anyway a couple of days ago i went to the restaurant with my friend and i knew he was working because he booked the table for me stunning when we arrived we ordered

our drinks and food with him and things were very flirty he then brings a starter to us which i said we didn't order this is this a new thing he replied saying no we have done this ever since they opened years ago but i knew they hadn't as i have been going to the restaurant for two years oh so he's giving you a little complimentary thing yeah we then have our food etc and my friend tells me he keeps looking over i then get up to go to the toilet and he looks me up and down and smiles oh my god he's undressing you with his eyes we get the bill and i showed my friend asking how was it so cheap and we've had alcoholic drinks so then we notice the drinks aren't even on there we pay

and leave and he messages me after just chit chat my friend was egging me on to ask what time he finishes his shift to meet up with him so i did salame he replies with i can see but i can't be up too late as i have work early tomorrow we meet let's just say i get home at 4 a.m i met him at 11 oh my my god, that's so stunning. We were talking and laughing for hours and we kissed. He asked me to stay but I didn't because it's just not me. We had arranged to go for dinner on Wednesday and it's currently Saturday. But he says Wednesday is too long to wait. When we were talking, he said he isn't currently looking for anything serious. So what does he want? Okay, I like that he's letting you know straight off the bat,

you know, it's always useful. It's fucking exhausting. You know, sometimes you're dating and you're dating and you're dating and then it's like, oh, I'm not actually looking for anything serious. Jesus Christ. You could have told me that, you know, straight off the bat. We know we sound that's, that's helpful. It's rare. We love it. So what does he want? He's very professional and isn't the type to want to just sleep with me. But what do I do as I feel like I can see something with him? Okay, but how do we know for sure it isn't just that he wants to sleep with you? Because, you know, how do we know that for sure?

Not there's anything wrong with that as long as everyone's on the same page. But how I want to, I'm just interested in how you're confident about that. P.S. Everyone says they're an OG of listening to leo on the line but I really am a little bit competition out here guys a little bit competitive across the listeners I've been listening ever since you had the first podcast you're amazing I love you so much oh my god we've known each other so long now oh my god me and you go way back babes please help okay that's a tricky one i guess i guess i kind of say the same thing to anyone who writes in about someone not wanting anything serious it's you have to decide if that's something you're okay with

because if you're going in with we've all all done it. They tell you, I don't want anything serious. And you go, I'll change his mind. I'll change his mind. He's going to fall in love with me. He's going to be different with me. He's going to fall for me. When we go in with that idea, it almost always ends in some sort of emotional pain. Okay, let's be realistic.

When you go in there going i'm going to change his mind or we convince ourselves i'm okay with that yeah it's fine i don't really mind i don't really want anything serious anyway but deep down you're just praying that he might go i think i'm in love with you also painful but if you can go into this thinking i'm definitely not going to get attached we're on the same page ideal but how can you know that for sure it's a tricky one I think I would probably ask yourself how much do you like this guy to risk willing getting wait to to be willing to risk getting hurt because at the end of the day he's told you straight off the bat I'm not

looking for anything serious he's asked you to stay on the first night and you did say that you're sure he isn't just looking for sex and to be fair he's had his eye on you for a while which isn't a good sign that he doesn't just want to fuck you but that then at the same time we all know that the theory the box theory where somebody has put you in a box from day one they know from the day they look at you the day they meet you if they want to wife you or if they want to have sex with you or whatever else and no matter how quickly you sleep with them or date them you never leave the box so basically what that means is say you went on a date with a guy and he was already I want a relationship with this girl she is my ideal girlfriend I want to be in a relationship with

her eventually I want to get to know her and then you sleep with him on the first night that's not going to change he's still going to want a relationship with you or if you go on a date with this guy and he's already decided I just really want to have sex with her she's really sexy I just want to have sex but I want to see that naked ass he's already decided that you could sleep with him the first night and he's like sweet perfect i hope she had a great time absolutely loved it maybe we could do this again sometime or you could date him date him date him date him for six times and the chances are he's still going to keep dating you because he still wants to sleep with you and you haven't moved boxes it doesn't mean oh now you're in the relationship box you're still in the i want to sleep with her box but you haven't set with him

yet so it's one of those things that's why i always think who cares if you sleep with someone on the first date as long as everyone's consent and everyone's comfortable and everyone feels safe and everyone's on the same page do it whenever you want to do it because what someone's intentions are don't not this is a theory by the way don't normally change you know again this is just a theory I don't know how accurate it is but I can imagine it's true so yeah I feel like it depends if you feel like you will get hurt and if you can see that happening I would probably just keep it at the flirting at the restaurant maybe a bit of flirting over text because there are plenty more fish in the sea you know but if you can say I mean it would be nice to

finally sleep with him we've looked at each other across this restaurant for a long time he's really sexy and you feel comfortable with it just going to that extent and no further go for it do whatever you feel comfortable doing but just prioritize the outcome for you and be realistic about it you know don't go into it thinking i'm going to change his mind i'm going to make him fall in love with me because it's not worth it. Like, if somebody has literally told you straight off the bat, I don't want anything serious. We just have to take their word for it and go, okay, that's fine. You know, not like, we'll see about that. You know, it's just not worth it sometimes. So yeah, take from that what you will and let us all know how that goes. Keep us updated. I love you. Okay,

guys, this next one is so interesting. I've never ever heard anything like this in my life. Okay, are you ready? Girl, I need your help. Sorry, this is a long one, but I don't think you've had a dilemma like this before. My mum copies everything I do you just wait for this for context I'm 26 and my mum is 46 we don't get on at all she's incredibly draining and some and has something negative to say about everyone and everything she's one of those mums that will never say anything good to my face but will show me off to other people if you know what I mean. I've struggled with her for about 10 years. At first she didn't like that I had my own opinions and she would tell me off if I didn't agree with her views and she's always been super controlling. Then I got to 18 and that's when the copying started. I remember going

shopping with my friends and coming home with three pairs of trainers and she she said she hated them and that I'd wasted my money but then she ordered all three pairs and her size the next week I bought a North Face puffer coat she bought one I bought some Adenola leggings she bought them the list goes on she has spent hundreds of pounds copying my wardrobe and will frequently turn up wearing the same clothes as me. Clothes that she is negative about when she sees them on me first. She'll make a nasty comment, ask where it's from, then buy it herself. What? Okay.

She also tried to get a job at every single place that I have worked. I was a teaching assistant. She became a cleaner at the same school and I've had a few pub slash shop jobs that she's then asked my boss if she can have a job there as well. This has only just stopped as I've moved out of Dorset and further away from her. She says everything I do is weird. If I go and see my friends in Bristol, it's weird. If me and my partner go out in Bristol, it's weird. If me and my partner go out for dinner, it's weird. It just seems she's insanely jealous of every single thing I do and she doesn't know how to not express this. In the last couple of years,

the copying has progressed into bigger, more expensive things. Me and my partner moved in together and we bought our dream coffee machine. Oh my i'm so jealous she just spent 700 pound on the same one and she doesn't even drink coffee what this is wild this is actually wild she will come around my house and ask me where everything is from and then when i next go to hers she's got the exact same blankets plants baskets etc i bought an expensive juicer as i make a lot of juice she bought it and she's never even used it i've started lying to her saying i don't remember where it's from but she'll go on and on and on until i tell her a few months back we went to a furniture store together she went to look at the pieces she wanted and i was talking to the salesman about a bookcase i've wanted for years. For a bit of context this

bookcase is £900 and it's by a brand called Ercol. Ercol? Ercol? I'm not sure. E-R-C-O-L. Mum came over and said it was awful and overpriced and I'd be stupid to spend that much money on a bookcase. I explained how much I love the brand and it was my dream to have that bookcase and she walked straight past all the other urkel whatever it's however you say pieces and ignored me okay what the heck anyway next thing i know she's on facetime to me what's in the background my dream bookcase plus the whole range that urkel do sorry if I'm butchering that brand I'm definitely butchering it but sorry wow she has spent over 10 grand on all the Urkel whatever furniture that I had said I liked just so she could have it before me I hadn't even caught her eye in the

store I cut the call off and just cried. Oh my god. In the past year or two since it's progressed to furniture items I've been calling her out on it and now it's so bad that she won't let me around our house anymore because apparently I kick off that she's got the same style as me. Basically my dilemma is do I completely cut my narcissistic mum out of my life? It's emotionally draining constantly having to take negative comments from her about everything I own and everything I wear only to see her with it the next week. I've tried talking to her about it but I just end up getting really upset and she gets really defensive and says we're mother and daughter it's normal to

have the same style. I really struggle to talk about it with others because I know it sounds really materialistic and there are people with much bigger problems but it gets me down so much any advice would be appreciated by the way i've been here since the first ep and you absolutely make me cackle on my way to work every every week love you girl oh i love you holy shit this is a serious dilemma this is like way out of my league one thing i will say is i am not qualified to give advice on anything in this entire podcast ever but one thing i feel is completely out of my uh what's the word um whatever is family you know that's serious And the only advice I will give you is do what is best for you. Whether that be cutting her out, like you said, or keeping it at an arm's length or

fucking having it out with her, you know, whatever is best for you is what you need to do because you, you know, you said that, I think you said you're 24 or 26. Let me double check that. Let's have a little look. How old is she? Um, you are 26. Okay. And she's 46. So you've dealt with this in 26 years and you're saying it's just progressively getting worse and worse. It's gone from a pair of trainers to a 10,000 pounds worth of furniture that you have dreamt of and that's actually really sad because i think many mums or dads or family members out there if they had that 10 grand to spend on the furniture and they knew it was your dream they'd buy you the fucking bookcase the 900 pound bookcase rather than 10 grand on it they don't even like it so

yeah it's giving jealousy it's giving some level of bitterness um and you know you're saying that she's nasty she's got so much nasty things to say about anyone and everyone and that's really draining it's really draining um and all i will say again completely out my league to talk about anything like this or advise you but all I would would advise is you have to do what's best for you you have to if you really want to make your relationship with your mum work you could go to counseling together like you could you know you could approach her and say this is really getting me down I don't like the the state of our relationship I don't like the negative comments I want to be able to have a positive happy relationship with you do you want to sit down with with a counselor together

and if the answer is no fuck off I'm off to pretend I like this coffee machine then there you go but it might make you feel better just to say you tried you know before you do make any brutal decision but yeah oh I'm sorry babe because your mum's your mum you know you you want that to be your best friend and someone you can lean on but I'm really happy for you that you have a partner that you sound like you're in a really secure happy relationship you sound so independent and yeah just do what's best for you babe love you so much and thanks for listening okay you guys remember the dilemma last week or the week before I think it was last week, where her ex was messaging, no, her boyfriend was messaging his ex about the pets. You guys remember the pets, texting his ex about the pets, right? We have an update. Okay, sis, update. So I checked his messages to check they were just

about the pets, which they were. Okay, fantastic. and I do trust him 100% however I come across an unopened message in his spam because she's blocked asking for money to help with pet bills it's unopened so I assume he hasn't seen it but Leah why is she still in his life and whatever like we've been together well over two years. I just can't seem to get over the fact that he had a life of someone else and there's always been involvement from his previous relationship and ours. Like normally you completely forget about the relationship and it's like it never happened. There's just too much baggage, Leah.

But I'm in love with this boy and I want to marry him. But the bloody pets. Soz, love ya. Right, yeah, I know what you mean fucking out it's like they've got kids together like she's asking for child maintenance but it's pets i don't know it's just a bit it's just a bit mad two years later what so i've got to send you money for how long are these pets gonna live probably another 10 years i've got to send you money for 10 years so when when i'm old well not old not be old in 10 years when i'm older i've got to be sending my ex-girlfriend from fucking 12 years ago money for the dogs we bought

12 years ago like what do you know what i mean i think it's time to call in the BF and say, look, actually, no, I changed my mind. I changed my mind. I was going to say maybe he should just send her a message and say, look, it's up to him if he wants to send us some money. I don't know. Weird, but whatever. Each to their own. I'm sure people do that.

I don't know. I've never been in that situation, but it's up to him. This is option one. He can send her a message and say, look, it's been a couple of years now that I've never been in that situation but it's up to him this is option one he can send her a message and say look it's been a couple of years now that I've been in my new relationship so that's been probably at least three years since they've been together I don't know how long the break in between was but whatever it's been a few years now since we've been broken up I don't think we need to be in contact anymore I really don't um I'm trying to move on with my life focus on my girlfriend focus on what's important to me now and around

me now um so yeah I don't think you need to be contacting me anymore and maybe just tell her because he's obviously blocked her without an explanation what what I want to know what platform they're using because where do you block someone and it ends up in spam apart from emails you know like I don't know like surely when you block someone they can't see your profile like on Instagram they can't see your profile um Facebook I'm not sure about I don't use Facebook so yeah that's tricky I'm not sure what platform it is but it might be worth him just sending a message and say look we don't need to be in contact anymore respectfully like please don't contact me I'm not being rude but like you know it's just not very nice or

leave the message in the block folder in the spam and just she will get the hint eventually that she's not getting a reply you know and eventually the messages will just stop whatever you'd feel more comfortable with because i think personally i'd rather he didn't message her if it was my boyfriend i'd be like oh can we just ignore her please and eventually she'll just get the message because i don't i don't actually want you to have to have this conversation because why does it need to be that deep you know why do you need to explain yourself to someone that's it's been years now but then if he has been in contact with her for a long time I guess he might owe her an explanation I'm not sure so yeah whatever feels

right between you two but I feel like they're your options either you can he can send her a message and say look we don't need to be in contact anymore i'm not being rude blah blah blah or it can just be she'll get the message when she doesn't get a reply for the rest of her life you know okay all right love you babe keep us updated again and thank you for the update. I love you, appreciate you. Okay, next dilemma. Hey girly, I'm in a bit of a sticky situation. I came out of a serious relationship just over a month ago. We were together for two years, had an apartment and a dog and we broke up suddenly because he decided to move abroad. abroad. If I'm honest with myself, I haven't been in love with him for over a year and I just didn't want to admit it and break things off myself due to repercussions with my living situation and our

dog. I decided after my last relationship that I was going to be single for over two years and just have fun. But I have met the man of my dreams. It's always the way guys. It's always the fucking way. They come when you're not looking when you least expect it he is everything i've ever wanted in someone and is my dream guy we've only been on one date due to me being in between places for the next two weeks but we both feel the chemistry it's like i've known him forever and when he kissed me it was electric is it too early to be liking someone this much i genuinely could see us getting married i know i'm getting ahead of myself haha and he is ticking every box even ones i

didn't know i had i need some advice i really really like him okay listen if you really really really like him don't don't don't let your idea of what your timeline should have been hold you back because I was in the same situation I was only single a few months when I met Jamie and I told myself I was going to be single for at least a year but he came along and I was like oh fuck it one more for the road. No, here I am. And I'm almost certain and hoping that this is the one. So, you know what? I just kept telling myself when I was in your situation, I just kept telling myself, I'm just going to take it slow. Did I take it slow? I did take it slow mentally and emotionally we were in some serious contact very quickly but I didn't get emotionally attached very quickly which I was really proud of because

um I do have a bit of a habit for like just clinging on to situations and people and getting attached and then thinking fuck before I even know them and I knew going into whatever it was going to be I was getting into next I knew I wanted to feel like I know this person before I decide I'm going to take you seriously so what I would say to you is just take a breather mentally, take a deep breath, enjoy getting to know someone, enjoy dating them and just take it easy. You know, let's not start planning weddings. Let's not start. I'm in love. Like let's just, yeah, I'm talking to someone and I really, really like him. It's, it seems like it's going really well I'm just going with the flow and see if you can hold back from the head over heels too soon because it's easy to not take time for yourself and I think when you have a breakup it's important that you spend this time making

sure you're healing you're letting go you're moving on you're growing you're working on yourself and I went into a situation with Jamie making it clear to him as well that I was like my main priority right now is me my main priority right now is healing my mental health my stability my independence that is my main priority that doesn't mean I don't have time for you I have a lot of time for you but if it ever gets to a situation where this is consuming me I will cut it off like not in a brutal way but that's how I was talking to myself of just like look there is nothing wrong with getting into something as long as I don't neglect myself and the journey I know I need to go on in this time. So I would just say that, you know, sometimes we

have an idea of how long we're supposed to be single, how long it's going to take us to heal, how long it's going to take us to feel happy, independent and blah, blah but people come in in your life for a reason at the time they do for a reason and I would just take it easy you know enjoy it don't don't think oh fuck I'm in love I want to get married fuck it I'm just gonna go in balls deep and you know it's all well and good and it's a good thing that you've met someone and you really really like him it is a really good thing but just keep reminding yourself that you are the most important part of your life you are the most important part just don't don't let it put you and whatever is that you need to go whatever journey is that you need to go on now after this

breakup don't allow being with somebody else to stop you going on that you need to go on now after this breakup don't allow being with somebody else to stop you going on that journey because you definitely can still go on a self development developmental journey whilst you're in a relationship i know i definitely did so yeah that's all i would say to you love. I'm excited for you gorgeous girl. Okay. Okay. Let's do one more. Let's do this one. Hey Leah, I absolutely love your pod. I genuinely feel like we'd be besties. We are besties. Like what do you mean? I love you. I have a dilemma for you and I would absolutely love to hear your take on this. It may be a long one, so apologies in advance. I've tried to condense it.

Please keep me anonymous. Always, always. I came out of a shortish, just under a year, relationship earlier this year. And shortly after the breakup, I was contacted by someone who I used to be in the same friendship circle with about 10 years ago. Asking to take me out for a date. I felt like I had nothing to lose and so I put on my big girl pants and agreed to going out. The first date went really well. He was very respectful and we had just we just had a nice time together. Since then we've spent a lot of time together and we've even had the discussion about the fact that we're not

seeing or speaking to other people i.e. we're basically exclusive but we haven't so much as said that i've met his family and he's met mine too so it definitely seems to be moving in the right direction the only slight issue with this is that when i was in high school 10 years ago i was in a large group of girls when i left school i cut myself off from the group because put it simply it was toxic and i wanted out mood good for you this current boy was actually in an on-off relationship with one of the girls from the group for a number of years i think between about 2012 and 2018 for context i left school in 2014 i'm aware that he didn't treat her particularly well and let's just say he has quite a colourful history of being a bit of a fuck boy and then she's put horrible expression.

When I agreed to go out with him I genuinely did so on the basis that I had absolutely nothing to lose. I'm no longer friends with his ex-girlfriend and I don't feel like I have any loyalties to her plus I didn't see this going anywhere and certainly not to where they are now we have spoken about his past and he acknowledges that it wasn't particularly nice when we were all younger but that as he's now nearly 30 oh but as he's now nearly 30 he isn't that same person anymore I must say in the first in the two months I've been seeing him he's given me absolutely no reason to doubt what he's saying I'm just going to interrupt quickly let's let's remember two months the first couple of months they mean nothing someone can put on a whole show for a whole six months okay you know when especially when we're dealing by the way i'm definitely not saying he's a narcissist

by the way i'm just this is a side note while i'm we're on the topic a narcissist we all know they they are not who they really are for a while and then it all creeps out one thing at a time sometimes quite quickly but anyway you know in the first two months he's given you no reason to doubt what he's saying that's a good thing however he would be silly to show any doubt this early on if you know what I mean he's very consistent calls me daily and I see him on a very regular basis I'm very conscious of his past and the fact that he's got around but to be fair he has been single for the best part of five years I guess what I'd really appreciate your advice or opinion on is the following whether I'm in the wrong for going there in the first place considering I used to be friends with his

ex-girlfriend and whether I'm naive to think that people can really change and that his past is simply his past thank you I can't wait to hear your take on this safe to say I'm going a bit mad about it in my own head lots of love love. Love you. Okay. So question one was, are you in the wrong for going there in the first place considering you to be friends with his ex-girlfriend? I didn't think so because, well, you said you think they finished things in 2018. So that's five years ago and you've not been friends with this girl for 10 years so listen if somebody I was friends with 10 years ago started dating someone that I had a fling with five years ago I couldn't give a shit to be honest like first of all I would agree that you have no loyalties to her and if I was her I wouldn't consider you you have no loyalties to her. And if I was her, I wouldn't

consider you to have any loyalties to me either. You know, like, let's just put it this way. If she started dating someone that you was just seeing for a few years, would it bother you? Maybe ask yourself that question. So obviously, it will be dependent on your severity of your friendship or the friendship breakup you know is there toxicity between you is there animosity between you would it be seen as a bitchy move only you will really know that so I think maybe ask yourself if she did it would it bother you or would you be like that's weird you know I think my response would just be like god that's a bit weird you know a small world whatever um and question two are you naive to think that

people can really change and that is past as simply as past no i don't think that's naive at all i i would agree i believe people can change you know um i definitely think the most of the time if you you know you use the word fuck someone, if somebody was a fuck boy growing up, it's pretty common, sadly. But eventually they're going to want to give, you know, hang the boots up and settle down and be in a serious relationship. So, yeah, I 100% believe that he can be faithful and decent and and committed to you i don't think somebody's past defines them at all especially when they're in their 20s and a teenager and stuff like yeah i i don't think you're naive at all for thinking he could be decent now regardless of his past um the only advice i would give you is it's only been two months and as I said if if they are a piece of shit they won't show you in two months because they know you'll run a

mile they wait until you're fully attached fully in love and then they'll show you so I would just say go easy you know take easy one day at a time one date at a time and listen to your gut and if there are red flags don't ignore them depending on the severity of them um and yeah don't hold us past against him it doesn't sound like you are to be fair which is good love that from you but yeah i would just say two months is not a long time we don't know someone in two months even though it feels like we do doesn't it especially when you talk to them a lot and you see them a lot the chances are he is just genuine and he is just lovely and he is exactly what it says on the tin you know what how he's acting is just him but you know we've just

we we have to have our wits about us you know we've got to be prepared that in the first two months especially someone is showing you the best version of themselves i always say from experience i always say wait until six months before you decide if someone is real because people can be not fake but they can hide the ugliest parts of their personality from you for a long time like a long time so i always say like when like when i got to know jamie i was like fucking hell like you're he does anything for me like i'm he's just always getting up do you want this do you want that and i was always like okay he's doing too much like this is gonna stop eventually like he'll be like do you want some water is your water bottle full and do you want to go here I'll drop you there

blah blah and I was like okay he's doing too much like this is not real like I've never ever seen somebody actually even do anything like that like relax you know like it's normal to you know fill the water bottle up do your normal boyfriend things but he was just like over you know like it's normal to you know fill the water bottle up do your normal boyfriend things but he was just like over the top like what can i get you what can i get you okay can i do anything and i was like this is not gonna last like give up the act mate and it's been almost a year and three months and he if anything does more like even more so and he does it for everyone he literally does it for all of his family like when i went to his for the first time i was like oh like you do this around here as well and like his family weren't like all right look at you acting like you

fucking do everything for me because your girlfriend's here like they they were raking it up like i now do they were just like Jamie can you do this Jamie pass me this and I was like I need to take some tips from these guys it's actually genius so now I'm them now I'm like babe can you get me some more but yeah and at first I thought well this is bullshit I've seen this before, you know, but it was real. So chances are he is genuinely a good guy, but it's only been two months. So don't be sat there thinking this is fake. This is fake. But, you know, don't be, don't be, I don't know the word, but just have your wits about you and enjoy it take it slow be sure of yourself you're amazing he's lucky to be with you and yeah just love it babe

but yeah you decide about the whole ex friend situation because in my personal opinion I don't think there's anything that deep about it because you haven't been friends for 10 years and they weren't official but then again if you're seeing someone for as many years as that she might have actually been madly in love with him to be fair but you'll know much better than me about that so you decide keep us updated with that one babe i'm excited for you all right i love you okay guys very mixed dilemmas today. Very fun. Very different. Big range. Thoroughly enjoyed. Thank you so much if you sent them in. If you didn't, you still have time. We do this every Tuesday, babe. LeahOnTheLine.com. Take a minute out of your day right now if you need any advice on anything at all, whether it's a specific dilemma,

whether it's just a topic you feel like you'd like like me to chat about something you're not sure about send it in whatever you want babes i'm here for it any weekly debate ideas confessions dilemma updates they're all there learontheline.com all the buttons you need hey yeah let's wrap up the episode okay you guys yes yes yes it's really driving me crazy i hope you guys enjoyed this episode thank you so much if you made it all the way to the end you're the best listeners in the whole wide world i hope you all have an amazing week whatever it's that you're getting up to enjoy it soak it up embrace it you're amazing you're strong you're funny you're kind you're getting up to, enjoy it, soak it up, embrace it, you're amazing, you're strong, you're funny, you're kind, you're talented, you're beautiful, and you never forget it, babe, all right, because Lear on the line said it, so it must be true, okay, oh, what are we doing on

Friday, we don't have an episode planned, send me a DM, guys, whatever you want me to talk about on Friday, let's do it. All right. I need to pre-film that, actually, because I'm going to be in Centre Parcs. Oh, I'm so excited. I'm actually really looking forward to it. Can't wait to go whizzing down the rapids, making sure my head doesn't go underwater, though. Absolutely not.

Will not be going on the water slides. Been watching videos on TikTok. Will not be doing it. Their heads go steaming under the water. Absolutely not, darling. All right, guys. I love you so much. Thank you so much for listening to this episode thank you for being in my company today thank you so much for having me in yours remember don't text your ex text me instead actually on that note

one of you sent me a voice note on a night out the other night and i love the voice notes when you guys are drunk like i just love them she was like Leah I'm on a night out you always say don't text your ex text you instead so I'm texting you I broke up with my boyfriend after six years on Sunday what the fuck it was so funny and she was like there's loads of sweaty boys around me I was like go kiss some sweaty boys all right anyway this is your sign to send me a voice note when you're next drunk because I just enjoy it so much feel like I'm out with you all right guys I'll speak to you on Friday for a brand new episode all right I love you Bye. Canada lets you do just that. Each ETF provides exposure to stocks, bonds, and crypto so you can potentially maximize your return. It's essentially like getting a complete portfolio in one trade.

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