Leah on the Line - 89: He asked me if he should follow his EX back?! & My boyfriend always cancels on me

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, hi everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. Happy Tuesday. Happy Tuesday, everybody. How are you? How's everybody's week been? I know for you guys, we last spoke on Friday, but I haven't recorded an episode for over a week. So I've really fucking missed you guys. Honestly, I'm so excited to be back recording, chatting to my besties. I had the most amazing holiday. I actually had the most amazing time guys. And my flights, fucking amazing. Do do you know what it cracks me up every time because obviously I catastrophize because I'm a nervous flyer and stuff like that and I start to think oh my god like we're gonna crash and burn and die and then when we land and we

haven't crashed and died I'm like shocked like I say like I can't believe it I can't believe we're alive I can't believe we made it like the odds just felt like they were really against us anyway it just makes me laugh every time I'm like I'm alive wow I actually did that and then when I come home I'm like I just did it I did the whole week I made it it's crazy isn't that crazy no and then do you know what doesn't make you feel better to any other nervous flyers right I think about like people that live in America you catch flights all the time just to go and see your family in different states or blah blah blah blah blah and I'm like I probably get on a flight once a year as you went on two holidays America, you catch flights all the time just to go and see your family in different states or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I probably get on a flight once a year. I actually went on

two holidays this year, which is wild. I've never, ever done two holidays in a year. And I feel so happy and so grateful. But yeah, I was like, oh my God, people do this all the time. And that does make me feel better. But anyway, let's have a little catch up, babes. I've missed you so much. Where should we start? Let's catch up on my holiday. So yeah, let's start a little catch up babes I've missed you so much um where should we start let's catch up on my holiday so yeah let's start with the flight um I did take a propanolol I did take 20 milligrams of propanolol anti-anxiety meds you know I've just got something to draw stuffed away for a rainy day if you ever need them you never know and anyway it just fucking took the edge right off. Like the turbulence on the way home was, you know, it was kind of stormy. It wasn't as bad as the last time I went on holiday.

You guys remember that traumatic story where I got thrown around in the toilet like I was in a washing machine? Yeah, that was fun. It wasn't as bad as that. But it was like, you know, when it goes a bit raw and your stomach like drops and you think fucking hell, it's like you're on a ride. I was just way more calm. And yeah, so that made me feel so much better but you know what I was thinking right you know when they do the speech I'm curious to know do you listen you know they do the like your oxygen masks will drop from above and your life jackets underneath your seat do you listen to that because as soon as they start I just I immediately put my headphones in because it

worries me and then I was thinking to myself I should probably listen to that? Because as soon as they start, I just, I immediately put my headphones in because it worries me. And then I was thinking to myself, I should probably listen to this because if, you know, God forbid, if you was ever in a plane disaster, I should listen, you know? So I thought, let me listen. Let me, let me see what's actually going on today. I felt a bit more brave. I was like, yeah, I can do this. Like, let me, let me actually pay attention. And they say shit like, it's the way they say it like if we land in water like what sorry if we if we land in water blow the fucking whistle do you know what i mean and it's like pull pull the string pull the string at the bottom if that doesn't work blow it up yourself like sorry, sorry, it's not going to happen. Like, honestly, I don't know.

Has that ever worked in any plane disaster ever? I would, I wouldn't love to know. But yeah, I was just listening, thinking, in the event that we land in water, like, if the plane crash hasn't killed me, I've died from heart attack. Like, do you know what I mean? I've gone into shock. Like that, oh, I don't know. Anyway, I can't talk about plane crash hasn't killed me I've died from heart attack like do you know what I mean I've gone into shock like that oh I don't know anyway I can't talk about plane crash anymore but yeah I had an amazing holiday it was so good there was a girl in my hotel because our hotel was gorgeous right we stayed in La Branda Suites for anyone curious it was in Costa Odeji in

Tenerife I love Tenerife like it's just my favorite place in the world I love the people I love like the vibe the atmosphere like it's just such a nice place but anyway there was our hotel you walk into reception and then on your right there's a family area family hotel basically it's massive the right side is all family kids and then on your left it's adults only and we're in the adults only part but you can access the family part but anyway so we sunbathed and most days we sunbathed. And there was this girl who was next to us on the sun lounges one day. And I was nosing into a conversation

because I had one earphone in, you know when you are actually listening, but you've got your eyes shut and your head fins in, but you're actually listening. And she was talking to someone who she's like made friends with out there. And she was saying that she's on holiday on her own. She'd never done it before. She feels a bit homesick and stuff I was listening to me and

god a woman after my own heart that's me do you know what I mean anyway so then she started chatting away to me after and we was chatting I was like god yeah like you're so brave you should be so proud of yourself that's such a good achievement that's such a good thing to do to say like I'm gonna take myself on holiday like I bet you feel really good blah blah so we're just chatting and chatting and then she starts recommending things about um what to do like out there um and she it made me realize something that I can't just be honest right so she would say to me you know I really recommend the kayaking I went I went yesterday you get to you get to kayak out to sea and then you go snorkeling and with wild dolphins i thought wild aren't all dolphins wild no she's like with the wild dolphins i thought okay can you have pet dolphins anyways she's telling me about how amazing this kayaking snorkeling thing is you

get to see the turtles everything and i obviously you guys know me you guys know no thank you I would never be doing that I'm not a sea girl I'm not a water girl I'm afraid of everything right I could have just said oh that's do you know what that sounds amazing you're much braver than me I've got such a big fear of the sea though I could never do that no i go oh that sounds brilliant that sounds fantastic where can i go for that who do i talk to you for that what okay what what so you get picked up outside the hotel oh amazing okay yeah how long is it for how much is it i'm not doing it why can't why can't i just be honest like what why do i just feed into it like it's just weird do you know what it is i feel like i'm gonna shut them down i don't want her to tell me how amazing something is and me go

fuck that and then she's like oh okay that's the end of that conversation so i just go oh that's brilliant oh that really sounds like a bit of me actually god i can't believe i've not thought of that sounds like a bit of me i'll definitely be doing that who do i talk to oh i can sort that out reception oh brilliant i'll definitely be doing that anyway then i was dreading seeing her for the rest of week thinking she's gonna ask me like have you done the snorkeling yet and i know i'm just gonna lie yeah yeah i went yesterday had the best time swimming with the wild dolphins oh but no honestly i don't know what's the matter with me but also another thing that me and jamie was talking about right is you know all these fun activities people do on holiday you know for

example the snorkeling and stuff and then you go on the boat trips because i went on a boat trip last time i went to tenerife and it was fucking horrible you go you go whale and dolphin watching and i was like oh my god beautiful like i don't think i've ever seen a dolphin up close anyway we didn't see any dolphins. We saw whales and that was cool. But after a while, you're a bit like, yep, there's another whale. Do you know what I mean?

Because the most overriding feeling was get me off of this ocean. Like, get me out of the ocean. I want to be on land. Like, I don't know what it was. It was just so overwhelming for me. I was like, oh God, I can't deal. Like, you look outside of the boat,

you can't see anything apart from sea it's like god god this is just not where I want to be but anyway it was kind of fun but my whole left side of my body really swelled up last time like it was kind of traumatic but anyway so then we're talking about those types of activities and stuff and I was saying to him like do you ever wish I was a bit more fun? Like, do you ever wish I was like, let's go jet skiing? Let's go cliff diving. And he's like, no, not really. Like I've done, I have done that. But, you know, he's very similar to me.

He just wants to sip cocktails and enjoy the sun and, you know, go paddling in the pool and walk around the beaches and try the nice food. And like, you know, whatever. So I was saying, like, do you ever wish I was more more fun and then we said like I would never ever ever ever you know people that jump off of the cliffs into the sea I don't think you could pay me any amount of money you could offer me a billion pounds and I would it would I wouldn't even consider it I wouldn't even go oh that's tough no no no no no no no no and people do it for nothing people do that for fun actually people pay to do it and that baffles me you guys who do that I would love to be like you adrenaline junkies thrill seekers you're fun you're adventurous

it's sexy it's like yeah just jumped off a fucking cliff into the sea and swam back up to do it again and again and it and i thought to myself i said to him would you rather jump off a cliff into the sea or skydive out of a plane and i'd rather skydive out of a plane than jump off a cliff into the sea and I know it doesn't make much sense because you're like the the drop is much bigger from a plane but absolutely positively not would I ever jump off a cliff into the sea I would much rather no I wouldn't much rather I'd rather do neither but it got into my head i had to pick i'm jumping out of a plane parachute offs but yeah no i don't like the thought of jumping just you just fucking free fall you just run to the end of a cliff and just fucking launch yourself off honey are you okay i actually find

that mental like it's sick it is so cool like when i watch people do that i think god you look you should look like a cool person like you just look like young wild and free you know crazy crazy babe but no i'd rather jump out of a plane honestly but um yeah so we had so many like those funny conversations where you're like what do you rather which rather and then we'd say things like yeah cliff diving tomorrow yeah yeah yeah just after the jet ski yeah jet ski then cliff dive then snorkel yeah tomorrow honestly I must be a boring girlfriend but he's he promised that he doesn't care that I'm not into all that adrenaline stuff but you know what there's there's people listening that that are the same as me and it's not for them you know but also guys this is so funny right so we was in the pool in

our hotel and i was like wrapped around him in the pool you know that gross couple thing that you do on holiday and then i said to him what do you do if i just weed on you right now like legs on you what did you do if i should weed on you and he's like have a wee babe i was like no and then we're laughing about that for ages I'm saying like oh my god it would just be hot all of a sudden you just feel it like on your lap and he was just going just do a wee babe do a wee and then he went do a poo I was crying for ages because I said to him what would you actually do like genuinely genuinely what would you actually do if i just took a shit and i said to him no if i said to you oh shit jamie jamie i can't i'm pooing and i said i know for a fact you would grab it

we was crying because i was like what would you genuinely do i've said to you i'm pooing i can't stop i'm pooing you'd grab it for me and he said 100 i would grab it for you and put it in my pocket we was crying do you know what guys he would if i something happened in my stomach while i was in the in the swimming pool on a day just having a nice time, then all of a sudden something went wrong in my stomach and I just took a shit in the pool. He said, I'll just grab it, I'll just grab it. And he kept doing the motions in the water, like grabbing it in the water and putting it in his pocket. It's fucking disgusting.

But guys, I think that's love when they wouldn't want you to be embarrassed and they would just grab it for you going after your boyfriends if you shit in a pool they grab it but anyway on that note i tell me you you guys, some of you can relate. I cannot go to the toilet on holiday. I don't know what it is. There is just no bowel movements. I cannot go. And Jamie is so annoying because I'll be like, oh, God, I just can't. I just want to go so bad.

Like, my stomach's hurting. Like, I'm so bloated. And then he'll be like, just go and have a poo, babe. Like, oh, brilliant idea brilliant so annoying but yeah it ain't just me is it to be fair i know people that get it but why is that is i googled it and apparently something to do with your nervous system oh my god i can see a plane up my window it's a very weird plane what the frick is that it's not on its site oh guys it's going a little bit slow okay the plane's passed but anyway so yeah that was my holiday recap guys I honestly had the best time but I did miss you guys so much I was literally looking at holidays on the way home

from the airport oh my god but also right we landed on Sunday night at like midnight well Monday morning technically and we stayed in a hotel in Gatwick and then the next day on Monday we came straight back to Somerset where my brother and my sister-in-law were having their gender reveal oh my god guys so my brother grew up with three sisters okay and he resented us and my mom for that for his entire life, okay, he was like, I was the only boy, all I wanted was a brother, why can you give me a brother, like, it was horrible being the only boy, yeah, whatever, go for it, go for it, right, so he obviously, happy, healthy baby, number one priority, but it is his dream to eventually be able to have a son

right regardless of that whether that's his first or whatever he's always wanted a son one day so it's the gender reveal and my mum found out the baby's gender before anyone else they did it in the envelope and gave it straight to my mum and that was on sunday when we was traveling home and apparently it was torture i I don't know how they had that willpower. Guys, if anyone else has done the gender reveal where you keep it secret until the reveal, I don't know how you have that willpower because I know for a fact I'm opening that envelope in the car and I'm pretending I didn't see it. I'm pretending. I'm, oh my God, I'm so surprised. No, I wouldn't because I don't like to ruin surprises. Okay, on that note,

we do a Secret Santa with my family every year and I'm the one who does the Secret Santa list on an app and I have access to everybody's matches on my phone and every year I have the willpower to not look because I don't want to ruin surprises. So I feel like I probably wouldn't ruin it for myself if I was in that position. But anyway, apparently it was so difficult

and they had to just give it to my mum and then just like leave it but for ages I was going oh maybe we should just know maybe we should just known and pretend that we don't anyway it was just it was apparently very difficult so gender reveal comes around everyone's there my mum my dad his wife his partner's mum and dad brother whatever me and Jamie and my nephew and we're all there it's so exciting and my mum obviously has we bought one of each cannon we bought it in advance because we didn't have time to do it last minute we knew it was going to be the day after the scan so we bought a girl and a boy cannon and my mum had the job of making sure she picked the right cannon because could you imagine if she accidentally give the wrong one anyway we did a countdown from 10 it was blue oh my god i'm so excited guys i'm

so excited like they have names already like some favorite names and i am so happy for both of them because i think they both was just like, you know what, happy, healthy baby. But they both knew that eventually my brother wants a son at some point. But the fact that it was their first baby was the son that he's wanted. It's just like, oh my God, this is amazing.

Like, I'm not gonna lie. I am just so excited no matter what. I love being an auntie. Like I say I'm a pretty cool auntie like in the gender reveal video. I'm like drinking Prosecco in one hand, arm around my oldest nephew in the other arm and the only one without kids. I will be the cool aunt. Okay. But I also wanna be the amazing mom one day. Just today is not that day, okay? So yeah, so many amazing things happened this week.

I had an amazing holiday. I'm having another nephew. Like, oh, it's just the best. So I'm feeling on cloud nine at the moment. And also just so happy to be back in your company and to have you guys back in my company today. So thank you so much for listening. There is not gonna be a weekly debate this episode just because I totally forgot to put one

on my stories where you know I've just been having such an amazing time but either way we'll probably just do more dilemmas so yeah I hope you guys all enjoyed this episode thank you so much for tuning in and let's get straight into it thank you so much for listening to Leah on the line. Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates. Enjoy the episode. Love you. Okay, everybody. So before we get into the dilemmas, I want to read this out because one of you guys sent this email in. And it's not a dilemma or a confession or anything, but I just fucking loved it. And it made me laugh so much. So it says, Hey, Leah, love your podcast and your energy. I've been listening to it religiously and I've started using your words a lot. And when she said this, I thought, what do you mean my words are not right what words do I use I feel like I don't have like sayings or anything that you guys would pick up so I was kind of confused so I read on but also thank you and I love you so much it says every time you read

out a story when a guy is not treating a girl right you always say well fuck off then, right? And I thought, I do, I do say that actually. So she said, so when this guy cancelled plans with me this Saturday, I said, well, fuck off then. It felt so good. And it made me laugh so much, right? Because I'm thinking, imagine if a guy texts you like, hey, I'm so sorry, I can't make it this Saturday. She's like, imagine if a guy texts you like hey i'm so sorry like i can't make it this saturday she's like well fuck off then oh fuck off then we laugh so much because it's given aggressive but valid not sure if i'm having the best influence on people by this but oh well and then she said girls we all need leah energy please love you leah and love you all and i thought that was so cute just to shout out all of you guys she loves you guys i just love that

it just made me laugh so much i was like oh fuck i do say that well fuck off then do i mean the same one with me but anyway i love you thank you for sending that in it really made me laugh all right okay dilemmas let's get into this. We've got some really good ones this week to be fair. But to be honest, I think they're good every week. You guys never disappoint, but let's have a little look. Okay. We'll kick off with this one. Hey Leah, I love you and I'd love to get your opinion on something. I love you too so much. It's not exactly a dilemma, but I just can't stop thinking about it. Last night, my boyfriend's ex re-requested to follow him on Insta. For some background, I've been with him for nearly a year and we got together relatively

short after he ended things with her. It wasn't really an amicable breakup and she ended up blocking him. So I'm assuming he ended it with her or she ended it with him, I'm not sure. We live in the same area so she knows that he has a new girlfriend. him I'm not sure we live in the same area so she knows that he has a new girlfriend last night over a year after she blocked him she requested to follow him again completely out of the blue I don't know if I just have my girlfriend glasses on but I can't get past the feeling that this is a bit strange they weren't friends before they were together and they don't have friends in the same circle so there's never been anything other than their

relationship between them i can't stop questioning her motive purely because of how long it's been which may be a bit of an overreaction i know i don't think it's an overreaction but i don't understand why she wouldn't want to leave the past in the past my boyfriend immediately asked my opinion on what he should do to which i said i don't mind see this bit I thought what do you mean what should I do what do you mean what should I do um why why are you asking me that what should I do my exes requested what should I do what do you want to do what do you want to do about that anyway we'll read on I trust him completely so if he wants to accept and follow back then that is okay with me the only thing i worry about is if she will perceive him following her

back as disrespectful to me yeah i know this shouldn't bother me as it doesn't affect me at all but for some reason it just does babes i think it would bother a lot of people to be honest so don't be thinking that you know oh this shouldn't really bother me I don't know why it's bothering me it would bother me um so what is your opinion on all of this do you think I'm overthinking it how would you feel if this was Jamie's ex what do you think my boyfriend should do thank you love you bye okay I think the fact that your boyfriend has come to you and said my ex has requested me what should i do is concerning to me because if if the shoe was on the other foot and an ex

requested to follow me is getting ignored like i'll just decline it or I'd ignore it like there wouldn't be part of me that would go oh babe so-and-so's requested me should I accept it what what for what reason would you accept it why that's what I'd want to know why would you accept it let's ignore why she would have requested it we all know why because she's thinking about her ex and she's either curious, she wants to talk to him, she wants to be with him, whatever it is, she's being nosy, whatever the reason, she wants to grab his attention, right? So it's irrelevant. Her reason for requesting him is irrelevant. But what is relevant is what would be your reason to accept it? Let alone follow her like i'm sorry for what why would you do that again like you said leave the past in the past she can do whatever she wants it's irrelevant

she can request him as many times as she wants it should in my opinion just be automatic why would you accept them what is the need what are you going to gain from it what is it making you feel are you intrigued by her are you you know a bit excited about it are you interested in what her intentions are or what she might want to say to you what what about this is interesting to you because it should be like oh fuck off why the fuck are you requesting me what the hell ignore and move on because you're you know we're not in each other's lives anymore what's what is the need so I think validate your feelings a bit more validate the fact that you don't like it um and regardless of whether anybody else agrees with you that it is unnecessary the way that you're feeling or overreaction or whatever

it is it doesn't matter what anyone else's opinions are on how you feel they are it is how you feel full stop that nobody has nobody gets to decide how you feel you just feel it and that is that is valid on its own so the fact that he's asked you what should i do i would be questioning that i'd say what do you think i want you to do number one number two what do you want to do and number three why why is that a question why isn't it just oh that's fucking random moving on with my life do you know what I mean ignore it's weird to say oh what should I do you're interested in this you're excited about that you're you know intrigued at the very least and

you want me to know about it as well like surely you can just ignore it and it doesn't even need to be a conversation because it's so irrelevant you know like that just happens every now and then exes do just pop back up it's common and we just ignore you know you're not in my life anymore we don't have anything to say to each other. It's not like we have kids or pets where there'd be a conversation like we know about the pet situation, remember? So, yeah, that's my question. Why is it a question? Why are you, first of all, why are you asking me?

Do you want my permission to accept it? Do you want me to say, yeah, you can because that's what you want to do, but you don't want to do anything behind my permission to accept it do you want me to say yeah you can because that's what you want to do but you don't want to do anything behind my back that's what i'd be thinking okay you've told me first of all i'm not really sure why you've told me because in my opinion it should just be ignore move on forget about it doesn't make me feel anything doesn't make me think anything it's just random let go of that see you later but also why why is it a question do you want to accept her but you just don't want to feel like you're going behind my back so that's why you've told me i don't know i i would be honest about how you feel and say look look, she's your ex. What is the reason? Why do

we need to be following each other? I don't follow my exes. Why should you, you know? Yeah, that's what I have to say on that one, babes. But, you know, there's probably people listening that think, well, you know, it's just a follow. It doesn't matter. Not the end of the world. And that's fine. But you obviously feel a certain way and that's valid and and you know stand by it and yeah i would say why is that a question what do you want to do you know why are you telling me yeah all right love you babe tell tell me what happens give us all an update on that one okay so we have a dilemma update next. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers internet.

Visit rogers.com for details. We got you, Rogers. This says, hey Leah, this dilemma is very fresh fresh so could really do with some help right now also my head feels extremely scrambled so bear with if i sound all over the place in this dilemma don't worry about it i previously sent a dilemma to you on one of the first ever podcast episodes about seeing a guy who was moving to australia i do remember this i do remember this. I do remember this. Long story short, he moved out there and we kept on good terms, but obviously had to end things. Skip one and a half years and he's back. Only for a month. However, he might be coming back for good in the new year or be

staying out for another two years. Complicated, right? Yeah, fuck. Well, which one is it? Anyway, this really took me by surprise how happy I was to see him after all this time. He texted me 12 hours after he landed. So you were on his, oh, sorry, the mic got a bit close then. You were on his mind immediately. As soon as he was back in UK territory you were on his mind okay and there was just so many feelings there after all this time I've never really dated properly as it's never quite felt the same as how it did with him and in all honesty there's definitely some unfinished business there it's complicated because I want to see him as much as I can while he's back but also I don't want to get my feelings hurt if he does go back for another two years yeah so true I guess I could just really do with some advice on this whole situation

is this everything happens for a reason sorry is this everything happens for a reason scenario that we both pretty much feel the same as before like nothing's changed am I stupid to enjoy his company while he's back do I let the universe take control of the situation what will be will be it just seems mad that after all this time it's like no time has passed thank you for helping in any way you can i feel a little lost right now and would love any advice you have oh my god okay this is tough i feel like it's one of them situations where you follow your head or your heart like your head says i might get hurt I should probably just leave it and just see if he does end up moving back in the new year but your heart is like but he's here now and what if he does move back then I might regret not spending this month

with him so part of me thinks you know what let's just see what happens in the new year. Let's just see. If he does move back, then I'll dive in, balls deep. But if he, you know, I mean, if he doesn't move back, what did I just say? If he does. If he, if he, wait, if he stays in the UK, I'm assuming that's where you are actually. You haven't even mentioned. I'm just assuming, sorry.

If he does stay where you live, then'll dive in balls deep right if he moves back to australia then it is what it is i'm sure he'll come back at some point but right now isn't that time however you don't want to look back and be like fuck he was here for a whole month and i didn't even see him but on the flip side like you're saying what is the point in falling for someone even more in that month when they're gonna leave again so I personally think I would it's hard because you you think I'll just see him I'll just see him a little bit I'll just see him once or twice maybe three four five times maybe three times in that month that's that's almost once a week and you know then then it won't be too bad if he doesn't stay but

even those three times could be enough for you to fall bang in love with him like even more in love with him you know so palm we wants to say that just you know let's just take it easy in this month and just see what happens let's just see him a couple of times and see if he stays or if he leaves and then if he stays we'll we'll see each other more we'll take this all more seriously if he leaves i'll be okay because i've only seen him three times but the other part of me is like you could still get even more hurt then so maybe we don't see him or even try not to even think about it at all for this month and if he does stay in the new year if he doesn't leave then maybe i'll i'll start talking and thinking about this a bit more that feels like a safer option

to me but obviously that's very hard to do when you haven't seen someone for such a long time and you know they're around the corner now it's so hard not to just go and see them because you've thought about them for so long and you've missed them so much and now they're here why would you waste it so i think maybe you can see him a couple of times see how the feelings are um maybe it'll convince him to stay you never know um and yeah just i think use this month as a we do not know what's going to happen so i'm not going to deep this situation until the new year when we know what's going to happen and where people are going to be because right now we're in a we're at a crossroads we're either going to go down this road together you're going to stay and we're going to see where things take us you're back

we still have feelings for each other this is amazing the spark never went or he's going to go back to australia and you know nothing's changed he was already in australia you you got your head around it you carried on with your life and he's just come back and he's going to go back to Australia and you'll be okay. She was okay the last time. So that's what I think you should do. I think personally we wait until the new year when he's made his decision if he's staying or going. I don't know if it's dependent on like he's got to just decide or if it's dependent on getting another job out there. got to just decide or if it's dependent on on getting another job out there I'm not sure what it is but I think we wait until we know the answer because like you said like you've said what's the point you could just end up way more hurt but yeah keep me updated with that one I would totally get it if you did just end up fucking going in balls deep for a month because it's so hard not to when you feel so strongly about someone but yeah either way I think follow your head and your heart at the same time as much as you can and let us all know if he

stays or goes we are dying to know please tell us we love you so much okay next dilemma my boyfriend always cancels our plans hey Leah I need some advice on how to deal with this situation. Me and my boyfriend have been together for four years and we're still going strong. But my biggest issue in our relationship is him cancelling plans on me all the time. For example, it's Saturday night and for the past few weeks we've been talking about the KSI Tommy Fury fight and how we both wanted to watch it. I reminded him this week and said, am still watching it with you and he promised he would i've spent today getting snacks ready getting myself ready and packing my bags because we because we'd planned for me to stay the next two nights oh no i hate that you're so excited

you're all prepped you've gone out getting snacks. You've made sure you've had a full shower shave, you know. It's 7pm and he's on his way back from his football game and he said he's always the fucking boys in it sorry but no i'm not waiting till midnight to see you this isn't just a one-off this has happened so many times where i've been let down on the weekend and then left at home upset and on my own most of my friends work weekends so it's not like i can even meet up with them last minute the point is it makes me feel so rejected and unwanted and gives me the worst anxiety all weekend not feeling 100 sure about mine or our plans i have anxiety and ocd so he knows how it makes me feel when plans change as well my question is what do i do in this situation i told him the

next time he does this, I don't want to be together anymore because he clearly doesn't care for my feelings. I'm not the most secure person. So how can I stop feeling rejected? You know what? I have been in your position and for me, it just got worse. You just feel feel abandoned you just feel so neglected all the time it's like you've made plans of me but the boys have suggested something and that sounds way better so fuck the girlfriend i'm gonna hang out with the boys instead because i have a much better time with them that is what it's given and do you know this is going to sound really dramatic and over the top and i'm only speaking from experience here which is kind of unfair to do but i can't help it in

this situation right end the fucking relationship i know it's brutal listen i know it's brutal you've been together four years right you say you're going strong which you know i'm sure you are in every other area i'm sure i don't doubt that for a second but it's actually deep i think i think when you cancel plans on your girlfriend last minute it is deep on so many levels it shows that of course what you're saying you don't want to spend time with me you don't actually want to hang out with me but also on another level is you don't care about the fact that you've left me hanging you don't actually give a fuck about how that's made me feel not only is it a case of you would rather be with the boys you don't give a fuck about how i'm gonna feel reading that message of you saying i'm just gonna

watch it with the boys but you can put proud later or if you do care if you do if you are aware of how that's making me feel you're doing it, which is worse because you don't give a fuck. You're thinking, oh, she's going to be pissed off about this. She's going to kick right off at me. But oh, wow, fuck her. Like you don't give a shit. You will literally you think my world should just revolve around you. should just revolve around you. I should, you know, go out, get some snacks, get myself all ready,

pick out some nice underwear, pick out some cozy pajamas to wear around there later, get all excited about it. You know, I've prepped the night before. You're my boyfriend. I'm excited to see you. Okay. I might, I might have topped up the fake tan, you know, I might have done a sheet mask, whatever, because I want to look my best because i love you and all you fancy me because it's important you know that i feel sexy around you and you're going to text me at 7 p.m fight the fight was at 11 fight's at 11 whole thing's already fucking started at this point you're going to text me saying i'm just going to go with the boys but come around after first of all are you taking the absolute piss out of me i've spent all day making sure that we're gonna have a lush night and you're just gonna text me saying i'm gonna watch it with the boys but come around later but come around so you can get a

quick shagging before you fall asleep like are you joking it shows such a big level of disrespect and that he is not aware or doesn't care of how he feel how how he is making you feel it's not important to him he doesn't care so listen from experience i know when i look back i know it's because of how you felt towards me. You didn't feel as strong towards me as I did towards you. You didn't care about being in my company. You'd rather be with the boys. You didn't care about letting me down and leaving me alone with no plans and upset. You have no respect for me. Like it is actually quite deep when somebody continues to do it and it's the way they've done it like i had situations where i'd be at work right and we'd have plans like i'm gonna

come home and we'll do this tonight we'll do that tonight and i had to get a text like i've gone to my mate's house i'll be back on friday it's tuesday and i would be doing the rest of my shift at work thinking are you fucking joking me i just want to cry because i'd be like i've been neglected and abandoned again i'm left on my own again and i know the feeling you feel and it's really lonely you feel so unloved it actually makes you feel like ugly and like it you take it very personally so that is why i'm saying end your relationship like it is so it's deeper than what it sounds like on the surface like and it's so hard because you you you want to convince yourself to stay in the relationship because you love them right

so you say things like i can't end the relationship because he cancelled the fucking ksi fight on me do you want me do i mean i can't end the relationship over that because you don't want to but if you actually think about it and deep it and understand that it is telling you how he feels about you it is telling you the lack of respect he has for you it's telling you that you are not a priority to him like it is repetitive and it's insulting it's selfish it's mean and you just end up feeling lonely not good enough you know like you've said all of this you feel you feel not good enough it makes you feel unwanted it makes you feel rejected it gives you anxiety all weekend and it's like for that don't look at it as oh i'm i can't end it because he cancelled a fucking boxing match on me no if you do want to

end it because of this make sure you understand that it's not petty and it's because you was with someone that made you feel rejected and unwanted and give you anxiety a weekend like that is good enough grounds to walk away from somebody because look at the impact they're having on you so listen this actually really rolled me up to read it because taking advantage of the person that you're with sorry not taking advantage taking for granted is what i'm trying to say the person that you're with is so painful and you are a human you are the main character and you're he people like this make you feel like a supporting role you are a tree in the background of their one man show do you know what i mean like and that is actually deep to me like it's not nice so I just want to say to you you deserve

so much better than that yeah you've been together for four years and yeah you said that you are really strong and stuff but please understand that that is actually quite deep and you deserve so much better and if you don't want to end the relationship, I think maybe, maybe give them a serious talk of like, look, I don't feel wanted by you. You make me feel rejected. And even having to sit here and say this to you makes me feel even more unwanted. The fact that I have to sit here and explain to you that I don't feel wanted, then I feel needy. Then I feel like I'm suffocating you. Then I feel clingy. then I feel like I'm um suffocating you then I feel clingy and then I feel like I don't have independence and you're making me feel all these negative feelings that I don't deserve or want to feel so either make some fucking time for me give a shit about me have a bit of respect for me

prioritize me every now and then listen I'm not asking you to spend all your time with me and never hang out with the boys I'm not asking that of you but don't tell me you want to watch the boxing with me if you're going to watch it with the boys if you think that that might happen invite me as well or say to me i don't know let me check with the boys what they want to do and then we'll figure something out whatever even that to be fair makes you feel like the fucking second option so yeah even that's still shit but do you know what i mean don't don't promise me all this shit and keep letting me down don't commit to something if you know you don't want to do it and then we'll see won't we if you stop committing to spending time with me i'll realize you don't actually like spending time

with me you don't actually enjoy my company you don't actually enjoy being around me i'm not your favorite person to hang out with and that's fine i don't need to being around me. I'm not your favorite person to hang out with. And that's fine. I don't need to be your absolute favorite person to hang out with. Obviously, you're going to have different times with the boys. It's going to be different. I love hanging out with my best friend. It's different to want to hang out with you. But you're still one of my favorite people to be around.

I want to be around you. I want to have nice nights in watching the boxing with you. And if you don't feel like that towards me, you need to let me know. And you need to be honest with yourself and be honest with me period do you know what I mean there are probably people listening think I'm being dramatic but unless you have been in that situation which I'm sure there are so many people that have you understand it's really sad and lonely and it really knocks your confidence and your self-esteem so yeah if you can relate to that you will get why i'm saying it because like i said it's it's it's a deep feeling and it's and

it's really horrible and your your partner should never ever make you feel lonely and unwanted so whether it's over a boxing match or what the the bottom line is they're making you feel lonely and unwanted and rejected and that's bullshit that's some bullshit fuck off do you know what i mean i love you so much and just remember that you deserve to be with someone that makes you feel like a priority and makes you feel like they love your company and makes you feel like not all the time but every now and then i would rather be with my girlfriend than with the boys you know i'm at that point in my life now where i fucking love she's my favorite person to hang out with don't get me wrong i still love hanging out with the boys and i still always make time for the boys but my girlfriend she's i fucking love being in her company we have the best time

you know that's what you deserve so i love you so much and don't ever let somebody make you feel that you are the bottom of their list of priorities because you are so much more than that and i love you so much okay let's do one more dilemma so let's just get straight into this one it says hi beautiful love you millions i hope you're doing well hi gorgeous i love you okay so this girl i've been talking to let's say her name's Sophia she had a situationship with Grace a while ago now so now Sophia and Grace are in a trio it's so awkward because like they're so close practically best friends okay right so she's been dating somebody and they're best friends right the girl that you're seeing I mean right they're so close to practically best friends and i know

that they've had history and i can't help but think they flirt still i mean surely surely one of them is still in love with the other person i know grace was toxic and she didn't treat sophia well and i'd like to think that i do i still talk to and snap my ex too though it's basically the same although me and her broke up two years ago and they stopped talking last year. It's also different because I'm not as close with my ex but she is with Grace. I have major jealousy issues too and I know that I need to work on it but I don't know if it's going to be a deal breaker for Grace. I don't feel as though I can bring it up as I'm still friends with my ex. Really sorry it was long and a bit childish and yes thank you so much. Love you. I don't think it's childish. I think that's so hard if you're seeing somebody and they're literally best friends with somebody that they were seeing that is a hard

thing to get your head around so I think you need to talk to her I feel like it is a case of communication because at the end of the day if they are best friends I don't think they were in a relation okay yeah no they had a situation ship so they were never together but they obviously had something going on right so I totally get why you would feel jealous I would I would feel jealous so I think it is a case of having to communicate and I know you're worried that you're just going to push Sophia away by bringing this up and being like look I'm feeling a little bit jealous I feel a little bit on edge maybe a little bit threatened like I know you feel

like you know Sophia might turn around and be like that's my best friend like what the fuck but at the same time she should have understanding for that I think most people would get that so I think if you go to Sophia and you just say like look I'm not trying to cause any issues by the way but I do just feel a little bit jealous and on edge and maybe a little bit threatened by your friendship with Grace because I know you used to have a thing and I'm I worry that there might still be feelings there and hopefully she can give you some reassurance but at the end of the day it is difficult and I guess it's just up to you to decide if that's something you're willing to still get involved with. If Sophia does turn around and be like, that's my best friend, like, sorry, you don't get to be jealous. You can't

say this to me. Because then that's basically just saying, fuck your feelings, get over it. And that's not really fair. So hopefully you can have a conversation where you feel more reassured or at least you know maybe you should be introduced to both of these people like so that you can see them together like the whole trio and hopefully that might make you feel better if you haven't already met them hopefully you will feel better being around all three of these girls and seeing actually you're all just fucking besties and there is no flirting going on i don't need to be worried hopefully that will be the case but yeah i do think you should communicate with her and don't be worried about pushing somebody away because at the end of the day i will say if you can push somebody away let them go see ya do you

mean with something with something understandable of course if you're just going to treat someone like shit that's that's different but if you're just going to treat someone like shit, that's different. But if you're going to go to someone and say, look, I feel a little bit insecure about this, it shouldn't push them away. Essentially, it shouldn't. And don't feel like you're being a hypocrite because you still talk to your ex

because you're not best friends with your ex. You know, you're not like in a trio, absolute best friends, friendship group. So it is different. And also if she turned around and said to you look well i feel uncomfortable with you talking to your ex then that's valid as well and you can have that conversation with her as well look maybe we should both be being a little bit different towards our exes you know so yeah i love you i hope you have that one figured out

let us all know keep us updated with that one um and yeah i love you so much all right guys thank you so much for sending in all your dilemmas today i thoroughly enjoyed chatting to you all please stay for the outro let's wrap up the episode okay you guys thank you so much for listening if you're staying for the outro i love you i appreciate you more than anything in the whole world oh my god you guys the halloween special is coming on friday send in any ghost stories spooky stories because i've got some already quite a few actually but the more the merrier because i don't care how long this episode goes on goes on for I will happily do it for seven hours because these stories are so

fucking scary I literally had goosebumps putting them in because I've made a folder of Halloween stories I had goosebumps putting them in they're so good you guys I can't believe some of the things you've experienced so if you've ever had an encounter with a ghost whether that be recently when you were a child somebody you know whatever it is send it in because I loved it last year if you haven't listened to that one go and listen to it it was honestly creepy as fuck but it's so fun so yeah I hope you guys are excited for that one it's coming on Friday I'm so looking forward to it what are you guys doing with Halloween I have no plans I don't think I'm gonna do anything this halloween i genuinely don't i'm not feeling it i think it's because i've just been on holiday like

i'm not in the festive spirit and you never know maybe things will change over the next couple of days now that i'm home and it's fucking freezing my iad it's so cold i might make a hot chocolate in a minute i'm really craving a ham and coleslaw sandwich i'm gonna make one yeah is that random who likes ham and coleslaw sandwich cheese coleslaw oh fucking get in I love it so much but yeah I love you guys so much thank you for listening to this episode I hope you all enjoyed last week's episodes that were pre-filmed it's so good to be sat with the mic again having a chat with you all and I will speak to you on Friday for the Halloween special all right I love you