Leah on the Line - 91: My ex is in a new relationship but we're sexting!! & I HATE my bf's friends

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leo on the line happy tuesday happy tuesday everybody it is officially a week into november and i'm feeling the fucking christmas spirit i'm feeling it i'm really feeling festive i've been listening to christmas music non-stop oh i wanna pretend we're at the north pole who's your favorite christmas like album mine's ariana grande shock it really is i I just love it, are you ready this Christmas, honestly, it's just, it's such good vibes, but I'll be honest, you can't beat the classics, you can't beat the classics, do you know what I mean, driving home for Christmas, you can't beat them, do you know what I mean, I'm feeling really festive, you guys, I'm like, my Christmas shopping

is half done, I've been buying new pajamas left frank said no that's how you know it's christmas season right i've made apple pies the other night i've make i'm already drinking the bailey's hot chalk now all that's left to do is put the christmas tree up is it too early i know there's like a day that you're supposed to do it but you know what i say fuck them life is short okay oh that's gonna trigger me but you know what i mean christmas is one day why not drag the fucking thing out you know because the thing is once christmas is over whoa whoa whoa i actually couldn't speak then oh my god what just happened to me what i was gonna say is put me in boxing day bring on boxing day i'm depressed

i i remember the feeling as a child right when boxing day hit it was like someone had died no joke i had like a come down it's like do you know what it is i think i get really overwhelmed very easily well we all know that it's no secret but you obviously there's such a big build-up to Christmas you know the the lights you go and visit Santa and you know what that's one thing that doesn't make any fucking sense right how come how I think I've said this on here before but how come you know when you when you're a kid and Santa's coming to see you it's like right get into bed get into bed don't let him see you don't let him see you don't let him see you Christmas Eve don't let him see you I literally sat on his lap last week in Woolworths that's what I don't understand

do you know what I mean and I'm the maths ain't mapping I don't really understand why you know the kids are told you gotta hide from santa um on christmas eve but i literally met him i meet him every year like literally told him what to get me like why can't i just go oh my god like so crazy seeing you again like oh my god like did you get me what i asked you for last week like don't mean interesting but anyway what was i saying that's it like the whole build-up for it you know you're going to the christmas markets you're going to see the christmas lights turn on you're doing all your christmas shopping all the families getting together you're wrapping all the presents you're getting all excited it's over literally over and then do you know what the worst part is yeah you've got new years yeah yeah yeah

yeah that's all right nothing then you have nothing january february, I'm in a dark, deep, dark hole. Deep, deep, dark hole of like, what is this? I need holidays in the months, I think. The Canary Islands are very hot in those months. Well, they're not very hot, but like they're warm, you know, they're lovely. But seriously, I can't deal with it. Like, I get so excited for Christmas. Like, you better believe, I'm so happy right now. I'm so happy Christmas is approaching. i get so excited for christmas like you better believe i'm so happy right now i'm so happy christmas is approaching i'm so excited i want to decorate the house i'm just so excited about it all and then all of a sudden it's over and then you got like three months of just pure hell and nothingness and then you're just waiting for summer please summer it's just dark dark short days

and you're just like please it's so cold i'm just waiting for summer please please so somebody needs to invent a holiday in january to march is there one oh i guess there's valentine's actually but again one day and there's not like a big build-up to it you know it's just like oh shit it's valentine's day tomorrow fuck but yeah honestly i am excited for christmas and i'm really sorry if it's too early to be saying that you guys but i don't think so you know let's let's live a little you know what i mean i'm excited let's let's get excited about it together all right guys so i'm really excited for this episode it's just our tuesday usual you know

weekly debate dilemmas thank you so much to everybody that sent them in let's get straight into it guys thank you so much for listening to leah on the line head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates. Enjoy the episode. Love you. Okay, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in today. Thank you for being in my company. Thank you so much for having me in yours. Let's get straight into the weekly debate, guys. So this one is inspired by one of our dilemmas today. It says, if you were exchanging explicit messages with someone and then realized they had a partner, what would you do? So let's have a little look because we have spoke about

what would you do if you were seeing someone or slept with someone or got with someone and then realized they had a partner. But when it's just messaging, obviously still cheating in my eyes, but when it is different, you know, you've just messaged, you might not have actually met, like whatever, then what are you doing? Because I feel like if you've slept with someone, it kind of makes it more like, well, I'm going to fucking tell their girlfriend or boyfriend, you know, we've had sex. But if it's messaging, are you just, oh fuck, run away, get out of that situation?

Or are we still going to tell the partner so let's have a little look let's have a little look what you guys are saying um block and get out of that situation not say anything unless i know them i would send screenshots to the partner if they don't want to believe me that's not my problem yeah i mean sounds a bit savage. But I feel you. I do feel you. Send the screenshots to their partner. Tell them to tell their partner or I will. Ghost them. Then if I knew they had a girlfriend, I'd tell her. If I didn't know, I would just run and hide. Also, we're telling them, okay. Ghost, a thousand percent. Tell the

partner. If it was for fun, then continue. You little bitch. Oh my God. Stay away from my man. If it was for fun, then continue. If it was for something more serious, cut them off their bad news. Baby, they literally have a girlfriend or or boyfriend but you do your best team tell their partner stop straight away call them out on it and find out their reasoning as to why they think it's okay yeah true like part of me would want to be like are you fucking all right are you fucking on drugs who remembers that i can't remember her name oh my god i'm so annoyed what's her name but yeah facts immediately stop and block without question tell them to come clean to their partner and if they don't i would um if this happened to me i'd do everything in my power to get a hold of their

partner i'd be angry and petty tell the partner us girls have to stick together yeah we fucking do we do kick off kick off at them about how disrespectful that is maybe tell their partner if they don't someone just says i would just stop yeah cut ties asap done done and done delete and block in sheer panic i'd probably also feel mortified and so embarrassed yeah that's so true i didn't think about that like part of you would feel like obviously the main feeling i'm imagining is you'd just be like fuck shit he's got a girlfriend or whatever but also you'd feel right mugged off wouldn't you yeah yeah i'm forgetting about that part of it, to be honest. Abort mission immediately. I would just stop. It wouldn't be nice to be done on you. I'd say, I thought you had a girlfriend

and see what their response is, then send it to her. Oh, good. Yeah, set up a trap. Set up a trap. Report to the police. If they can do that, what else can they do? Oh my good God. Yeah, I mean, whatever. Yeah yeah stop immediately and find their partner socials send them screenshots and apologize oh yeah that's the thing like we have if you're ever in this situation please be kind to their partner you know like even though you haven't done anything wrong i do think it is just common courtesy to be like look i'm so sorry I had no idea do you know what I mean give me the ick pure oh poor girlfriend unaware being in both shoes and just vomit emoji I'd let them know I know and then tell them I'm telling their partner and ghost them I know you got a girlfriend by the way and I'm gonna

go and tell her block tell their partner then fuck them off tell their partner if my boyfriend was doing this i would defo want to know yeah definitely tell the girlfriend would hope somebody would do the same for me if it was my boyfriend withdraw immediately apologize i wasn't aware and that he was oh oh and if he was sending them back i'd dm their partner asap i wish i'd wish the same in return straight up say i know you have a partner i choose violence tell them to fuck off love it i would want to know if i was the girl yeah wait for the next message ask if their partner wants to join in too oh my god tell her apologize and explain he said he was single yeah i love that from you stop i would feel so

guilty block delete and always tell the poor partner stop immediately and tell them what worthless piece they are to do that to their partner yeah so what we have learned is i think most of you guys from the responses do you know what not even by much but I'd say just over half of the responses are saying tell the partner and the other rest are saying I'll just block and run so kind of scary to think that not everyone is gonna have your back and be like look babes I'm really sorry I didn't know but this is what's been going down you know I feel like it's but to be honest I totally understand why you wouldn't I completely get that I don't even know if I would let's be real I don't know part of me would just want to fucking run away because like some of you

said like you would be embarrassed as well and you would be like you'd feel like a prick so you just want to pretend it never happened not have to think about it not have to feel anything towards it again and just like block and run so yeah i don't know if i would either it's a difficult one because at the end of the day it would be selfish not to not to tell their partner do you know what i mean that i think if i didn't tell their partner that would just be me being selfish because i'd want it to just go away and disappear and i i would feel so much guilt so i'd i'd want to just like pretend it never happened, but that would be me being selfish to be fair, if I think about it, you know, like if we've got, if we're thinking about other people here, telling the partner is probably the right thing to do. As long as you do it gently and apologize

that I'm so sorry, I had no idea. Or like, even if you did have an idea, even if you did know, if you did have an idea even if you did know I still think people make mistakes and you have a duty to then come to the partner and say look I'm really disappointed in myself for doing this as I know you're together but you know upon reflection it was wrong of me you don't have to forgive me I wouldn't forgive me if I were you but me and your boyfriend or me and your girlfriend have been messaging um I do have screenshots if you'd want to see them but I understand if you wouldn't but I it just felt like the right thing to do to come and tell you you know but you know I don't blame you if you hate me you know if you did know they had a partner and you still did it but that would be crazy all right guys thank you so much for sending in your responses I feel like

we are pretty split between two things which is kind of good because there's only two ways here we're either way they're getting cut off actually there was a couple people that said i'd carry on wasn't there so we've got to keep an eye out for these these ones all right okay guys i love you let's get into some dilemmas. Hey, babes. Okay, let's get into some dilemmas, whatever it is that you're doing today. I'm so excited that we're spending some time together, you know, some one-on-one bestie time. It always feels good, me and you, you know. Okay, we're going to kick it off with this one because it says, Okay, we're going to kick off with this one because it says, I hate my boyfriend's friends and they hate me. I think I've been in this position before, to be honest, and it's fucking stress. Okay, let's have a little look. Hey Leah, just wanted to say I love your podcast,

always the first to put it on when a new ep comes out. Oh, I love you so much. Thank you. Please don't include names i don't want to get exposed okay and as i scanned through it when i picked them you have included names and you saying that gives me impression that they're not fake names so i'm gonna have to really focus and and change these names and not read out the ones you've put in just in case they're the real ones. Okay. But you know, PSA, always fake names, babe, baby girls. All right. Love you. Okay. Sorry if this is long, but I'm really stuck. Me and my boyfriend have been only together only a few months now and are 19 and 20, but we like best friends he has a small group of friends and i have my small group of girls we're from the same areas but don't know each other or each other's

friends however as i'm in uni i end up coming to his a lot on the weekends which leads to me coming out with his friends okay this is good this is fun he's been friends with his group for a way longer time than i've been with him so i gave him the benefit of the doubt but i just can't stand them oh my god babe okay we got this anyways my boyfriend and then she's put his name is bleep so we're gonna change it to jack i really can't mess this up anyways my boyfriend his name is jack is very outgoing and likes doing things like going out and going to raves etc oh my god crazy i've never been to a rave in my life i could genuinely i couldn't think of anything worse right they so they're raving it up so so do i so when we got together we ended up doing this a lot with each other he has one other friend bleep we're gonna call him

luke okay so we've got boyfriend jack and jack's friend luke oh god this is stressful who also loves doing this but his other friends in his group doesn't they just like to go to the pub and more chill vibes yeah my kind of people my kind of people i mean you're also my kind of people but i can never rave i'm too anxious for that all right anyway me and luke and jack started to go out and go to raves together luke would stay at mine on the sofa when jack would stay because we would go out etc okay fantastic so luke you and jack you're having sleepovers love it you you're getting unwell by the sounds of it um and i would really like him didn't know his other friends as well but all round i got good vibes even though i knew jack was so different to them and way more mature

love it we love jack however recently i've started to see cracks luke started saying things about the girls in my friendship group that would kind of throw me off like making fun of them or just being creepy when they all had no interest in him okay what are you doing what are you doing luke he would then sleep with some of my friends and try and get with their besties okay so he's just a little rat okay Luke's a little rat that's fine just strange behavior then this is more recently it is Jack's birthday and we had planned to go out me him his friends my friends oh no sorry sorry sorry to go out me him and his friends full stop my friends were also out so i was going to meet them there but also spend time with jack this is what he wanted and what he had suggested so i didn't feel unwanted or anything like that okay this is great you're going out with your bf and his mates

and your friends are out so you're going to go out and meet them as well love it okay until whenever i mentioned this night out when it was coming closer jack would gently gently push me to go with my friends i mean fair yeah you know she's thinking of you would you not rather hang out with the girls babe that's fine if you do don't worry about it don't worry about me i thought nothing of it until i looked at the lads group chat oh not the lads group chat it is hell in there lads group chat. It is hell in there. It is hell in there. All it was, was his friends group being horrible about me and telling me to stay at home and that Luke, Luke is going to make Jack cheat on me. Luke, you can fuck off. Seriously, seriously, piss off, Luke.

Jack replying very well, saying that he wants me there and he would never cheat on me, as he should, as he should, you know. I ended up going out with my friends anyway, as I felt unwanted. No, I'm not being funny. funny if that's me you better disown that boy honey you better disown that little rat no but 100 i'm confronting luke in that situation what the fuck's the matter with you are you jealous are you single lonely and jealous or you want to be in your fuck boy era which is fine we'll do your thing but it makes you feel insecure that you're doing it alone and you want a friend to do it with so you're trying to drag my boyfriend jack

into it with you because you don't have the balls to just go out there and be single on your own go out there and be single on your own leave my boyfriend out this leave our relationship alone and go and do your thing and piss off anyway um okay i went out with my friends as i felt unwanted but when i was out it got to about two and i was tired and wanted to go home jack was texting me the same that he wanted to go home as well so we both met and we were gonna go home his his friends then then turned up and started having a go at me and jack for jack leaving i'm not being funny get a fucking grip of yourselves boys if the boy wants to go home because he's had enough of the night out let him go why does that affect you you can stay out and have fun you can literally stay out he's had enough he's had enough and so advice they might as well go home together like what okay i don't like this um he was really down about falling out of his friends

when we got home and i felt to blame his friends now hate me and hate jack having a girlfriend and i hate them and i don't know what to do jack doesn't understand that friends come and go so he feels the need to stick with them even if he doesn't agree with with anything that they say or do really need advice on what to do with this situation as i can see it getting to him and i don't want it to come between me and jack in the end would really appreciate any advice sorry if it's long love you so much leah oh my god we've got a pic oh my god you're the most gorgeous guy i've ever seen you've got a gorgeous beautiful dimple wow that is some clear skin if i've ever seen it absolutely stunning the bf looks sweet it's lovely you're at a rave by the looks of things by the neon green lighting love and life okay okay um do you know what i think i think jack bless him has obviously been friends with these guys for however long

and he has grown into someone that's different to his friends now he may have been like that before but now he's a boyfriend girlfriend type guy he gets bored on nights out and he's ready to go home he's the kind of guy that can say i'm not going to stay out out of peer pressure i've had enough and i've enjoyed myself i've had a good night tonight and i'm gonna call it a night boys i'll see you later and then go home and have a nice snuggle with my girlfriend maybe a bit of sex you know and there is nothing absolutely categorically nothing wrong with that what the problem is here is his friends sound like a bunch of twats so obviously it's hard like if you've been friends on for a while

and then you think well they're just my mates you know it's not a question they're my mates we're having a shit time at the moment i think he will eventually get to the point hopefully where he will just go do you know what we have changed you know as we're getting older you're not really the kind of people I want to hang out with anymore and to be honest if I was friends with people that were messaging me saying I'm gonna make Leah cheat on Jamie tonight I wouldn't find it fun to be in their company and therefore eventually I'm not going to be making plans with these people and hanging out with them because I'm not going to feel good around them so I think I don't know if there's anything you can do you definitely don't need to feel bad, you have done nothing wrong, his friends are the

problem, they're rude, mean, they're having a go at him because he wants to go home at the end of a night out, like that is the sort of like immature peer pressure that we just don't like, we don't need, so I don't know, if you want to talk to him and come for him and say like, look, you know what, you're different now, like you've grown, you've different now like you've grown you've matured you're ready to call it a night every every now and then don't get me wrong sometimes he might want to rave it up till 7am that's fine but not every time sometimes it gets to 2am and he's like i'm i'm ready to call it a night i've had a great time i don't want to stay out too late don't want too much of a hangover i'm going to go home that's just kind of like when you get to my age which is 26 right

it's very unusual that you will want to be out past 2 a.m you get to the point where you're like right fuck me if i if i get home now i'm only gonna have six hours sleep so obviously you're a lot younger i think you said you you're 19, 20. So you're in your party time. I love it. I mean, to be fair, I should probably be in my party time, but I ain't, don't know if I've ever had one. Only you need to be fair. And that is the days where I would stay out till 5am and go to work at 7am for a 12 hour shift like what the fuck was that but anyway so I just think maybe talk to him and be like look you need to ask yourself are these the kind of people you want to associate yourself with and do they have a good influence

on you do they have a good um impact on your emotions and how you feel and your mental health and like yeah they might be a laugh and they might be fun but look you're having to defend your girlfriend in the group chat like you're fighting for your life in the group chat because they're telling you they're gonna make you cheat on me that's not fun like that's not friendship that's not what friendship is about friendship is about enjoying each other's company supporting each other having a laugh together respecting each other respecting each other's relationships they're obviously young and they want they want to be lads lads lads lads he's got a girlfriend

that he's very happy and comfortable with and loves spending time with and they're jealous and it makes them feel insecure makes them feel like well why would you rather be with her than hang out with the boys mate why would you rather why would you not want to hang out with the boys because i don't i just don't i don't need to explain that to you tonight i just don't and that's fine so yeah i think it is just a case of like maybe he needs to admit that he doesn't actually like them do you know what i mean like well maybe he does maybe he does but maybe ask ask him why like what what what about these friends is so great you know they've made you feel shit they've made you feel really shit when you've come home that night because you left with

me they're telling you to cheat on your girlfriend they've had a go at me they now hate me i don't like them so you know what i don't put don't put him on the spot of like what do you like about him what do you even like about him genuinely like i'm asking a genuine genuine question like tell me what it is about these friends that is good let's wait let's weigh it all up you know because then for the sounds of things they're not very nice people or at least not the kind of people that want to be friends with someone in a relationship for some reason but we all know them people don't we that we've all had them friends that they just want you to be single because it's more fun for them do you know what i mean selfish like selfish wants you know so yeah that's what i think on that situation i just think i'm really happy that you

two are happy together you seem you know you go to raves together like this is a dream relationship and then you communicate well he he defends you and your relationship like I love I love I love you together and I'm rooting for you guys so yeah I love you stick together guys all right next dilemma okay so hi sorry if this is sorry if this is long but I'm gonna get straight into it me and my ex broke up in April 2022 going back to May 2022 2022. Oh wait, I'm so confused. May is after April. It says going back to May 2022, he was my first boyfriend and really the first person to show me how amazing love was. Is this meant to say May 2021? Maybe. Okay, we'll read on and see what's going on here he was my first boyfriend and really the first person to show me how amazing love was we both came out as gay to our friends and family

for each other and i made the awful decision to move out at 16 from coventry to leicester for my boyfriend big steps babe oh my god okay things were amazing for a while but quickly turned volatile and manipulative oh no babe i definitely say he love bombed me anyway fast forward to today or more specifically two days ago and he messaged me out of the blue like i'm sure we all do i would occasionally check up on him and found out he had a new boyfriend. Shit. Okay. So he's messaging you.

Oh, wait, I've just realized this is the dilemma that inspired the fucking weekly debate. I'm such an idiot. I literally forgot about this dilemma. Oh, my God. Okay, we're in this. Okay. So your ex-boyfriend's got a new boyfriend he's messaging you now and he's in a relationship okay anyway the conversation was a little awkward this kind

of threw me this bit guys the conversation was a little awkward but the outcome being we ended up sending nudes how does it go from this is kind of awkward to like show me your dick but i love it no i don't love it i don't love it he has a boyfriend let's you know we don't love that i feel genuinely genuinely awful about this and i'm feeling so let down by myself but now i'm faced with the dilemma of whether to come clean and message his ex with proof or just stay quiet please help p.s I love love love the pod I'm just going to say you're honestly the most amazing beautiful human sorry guys this is just a private moment between us keep doing what you're doing and never forget how much you're helping others oh I love you that is so nice I love you so much okay so we were in a relationship it ended april 2022 you and your

ex-boyfriend okay it turned nasty it was a love bomb it turned toxic relationship ends okay we're doing the odd check-in doing the odd check-in like people do yeah then you see he's got a new boyfriend right okay then other day literally the other day sends you a little message okay what do you want bit awkward a bit awkward now we're sending nudes now we're sending nudes and now the moment over the heat of the moment it was in the heat the moment it's okay it's in the heat the moment you know it's an ex the feelings are there the emotions are there also when somebody moves on you feel that sense of rejection even when you don't want them sometimes you know not all the time obviously but sometimes you can feel that like oh okay

you don't even you're not crying over me then okay fair enough and then suddenly they're showing you attention and you're thinking this is good for my ego this is definitely good for the ego maybe we'll take it a bit further start flirting now we're sending nudes i get it it's okay don't worry we're not judging you but the heat of the moment is over those feelings have passed and now it's oh fuck i'm a dick what have i done what have i done i feel awful i feel genuinely genuinely awful and now you're faced with the dilemma of to come clean message the ex oh message his ex so they're not together anymore you said but now i'm faced with the dilemma of whether to come clean and message his ex with proof or just stay quiet so i'm confused if your boyfriend so you said your ex-boyfriend, you stalked him and saw that

he had a new boyfriend. Oh my God. Sorry, I'm getting all clogged up. Found out he had a new boyfriend. But now we're calling, now we're saying, shall I message his ex? Okay. Either way, if it's his ex, absolutely no, we don't message the ex we just oh she probably shouldn't have done that let's let go of it but i don't know why you'd feel so awful if it was an ex so maybe you mean his boyfriend maybe maybe you didn't mean to say his ex because i'm imagining that they're still together you said i saw that he had a new boyfriend now we're messaging we sent nudes do i message him i feel really really bad so i'm going to assume that your ex is still with somebody else while all this has happened so we did the weekly debate right and i think what we've come to the terms what what we've what we've learned

to understand is the only reason we don't is selfish, which is okay. It's okay to be selfish, you know. It's, oh my God, I feel embarrassed. I feel guilty. I want out of this situation. Block. Pretend it never happened. We understand that, right? Or it's, let me message the partner and say, look, I feel like you have, you deserve to know this and it's difficult because you're the ex it may not go down too well for you it may look like you did it maliciously let's be real it made it like you're like hey I'm so sorry but like me and Dave have been sending notes and like and it might be like the fucking ex really like let's be real you're the ex you've been up in conversation you've been up in conversation you're the ex

right so if you were to pop up and say i've been sending nudes with dave dave that's gonna fucking sting that is going to hurt like a bitch but unfortunately that's that's where we are so i think it is your decision if you want to message them but if you don't i understand that and i would understand why you wouldn't and what i would do is block your ex and run for the hills we want nothing to do with it they were not nice to you when you were together he was nasty he love bombed you we don't want anything to do with him let's block let's leave that situation he's getting nothing else from you ever again or we go to the new partner the risk with it is there are nudes involved and that makes me really nervous

that puts me on edge like explicit images are involved here so you you don't know people you don't know what people are capable of and that's what worries me that's what would make me want to run away because there are nudes involved I don't want to piss anyone off i just i don't you know whatever maybe i would message your ex again and say look that was out of order i think you should tell your boyfriend what you've done delete my nudes i'm demanding that from you now and i want proof i want you to screen record that you are deleting them and from your recently deleted so i can go to sleep better tonight do you know what i mean i want i want that from you that's what i need from you and you're going to do that for me now if you fucking

don't i'm going to tell your boyfriend no let's not threaten anyone let's not threaten anyone but yeah i think look you maybe what you should do this is maybe a good idea we ask for the screen record proof that the nudes have been deleted and from the recently deleted and then we say look i'm not going to force you in what to do here but i genuinely genuinely think you need to tell your boyfriend i don't think it should come from me i think we both agree this was a mistake and if you want your relationship to work you need to come clean um whatever screenshot you saying that so if it ever comes back to bite you you can show his boyfriend proof look i told him

to tell you i told him it was awful i i told him that's what he should do. And I told him I never want to speak to him again. This is the proof. So you can sort of clear your name if it ever does come back and bite you in the ass. That would maybe be a good idea. But yeah, I love you. Don't worry. People make mistakes. We got to forgive ourselves for these things. And yeah, make mistakes we've got to forgive ourselves for these things and yeah just stay out of stay out of the ex's drama and life and you know you said he wasn't a very nice boy so you know we don't we don't want that babe we really don't want that so yeah all right love you love you so much keep me updated whatever you decide to do i've got you got your back darling and yeah love you good luck baby bye okay next dilemma hi Leah I've listened to your podcast for a while and was hoping

you could help me out with a dilemma I've been stuck in for years okay basically I really like this boy and I know he feels the same however he's best mates with my ex and another boy who I've seen before. We're keeping it close we're keeping it close. Me and my ex dated a few years ago and are not interested in each other at all or even on speaking terms and it was just a one-time hookup with the other one of his friends. Both of these were quite a while ago and I'd love to pursue things with the guy i like but he's too loyal to his friends even though they wouldn't care me and this boy still talk all the time and i've recently met one-on-one it's always flirty but whenever it gets to actually

doing something about it he backs out because of his friends it's great having him as a close friend but i can tell we both want it more want it to be more deep down and it's getting to the point where I'm not sure if I can keep being friends with him because I like him so much I've actually kissed him before about a year ago and he admitted he had feelings for me fantastic I was gonna talk to my ex about it but he never did and it resulted in us not talking anymore because it couldn't go anywhere. Okay. We have tried to stay away from each other and move on, but always keep on coming back to each other. And I feel like it must mean something as this has been a repeated cycle for about three years. I've tried saying we should just start seeing each other and my ex wouldn't care.

And he says he would, but it's the principle of it okay i respect what he's saying because he's been a loyal friend but his friends don't even treat him that good i want him to come to this realization himself but i feel like i'll be waiting a while and i don't want to wait for someone however i also can't seem to let him go while still being close to him as a friend i I just don't get why he talks to me so much but won't take it further. It's like he doesn't want me but can't stay away. Yeah I know that's the vibe I'm getting at the moment. He tells me about girls he talks to sometimes as well. Okay well let's let's put a stop to that okay. Which I think is to make me jealous and it upsets

me to think he can move on to someone else. Please help me out and let me know what I should do as it's been on my mind a lot and I've developed some deep feelings for him. Lots of love. Okay. Listen, this is tricky. I can't work this out because like you, part of me is thinking well you obviously fancy me and you enjoy the forbidden fruit feeling of this and you enjoy the push pull that we've got going on you're enjoying that but you don't want to be with me and maybe the only reason you like whatever it is that we have going on is the naughtiness about it maybe that's the only reason you like whatever it is that we have going on is the naughtiness about it. Maybe that's the only reason you're really that into it and you keep coming back to me.

Because at the end of the day, my cards are on the table. You know I want to give this a go. We've basically discussed the fact that my ex wouldn't give a shit. And you've been on and off with this guy for three years, which means you and your ex broke up at least three years ago which is a long time so it's either that or maybe he is just somebody who has such a guilty conscience about that maybe he's just like i'm just morally can't get past it i just can't you know maybe it's about the fact that you've had

sex with two of his friends and he doesn't want to be in a relationship with someone where two of his friends can say abangda do you know what i mean maybe it's that you know men and their ego is an interesting thing i'm just throwing out options here um but it could also just be he's not really that into it or it could also be that he doesn't want a relationship or it could be that he's intimidated by his friend and he doesn't want to have to have that conversation because he's a bit scared but what i think you can do is go fresh out with him and say look i'm gonna lay it out right now you know I like you you know I want to give this a go it has been years since me and my ex broke up you can you can be honest here and say you know yourself there's no feelings there just say it just admit it you know there's nothing

going on between me and my ex not even thoughts or feelings just admit it you know it you can see it you can feel it right okay great you know with your other friend we just hooked up and it's nothing you know that right so ask him be honest with me and just tell me the reason you're stringing me along all these years and never actually giving me any commitment just tell me the reason and if he turns around and he's like it is my friends it is that thing it doesn't morally feel right whatever say to him okay well then in that case we've got two choices here we fuck this off and we say not you know never again let's leave it here we're not doing this anymore don't come back to me and i won't come back to you and we are closing the door

more don't come back to me and i won't come back to you and we are closing the door fully closing it locking it padlocking it throwing away the key or we're gonna make a decision together to go to my ex have a chat you do it we'll do it together whatever you'd rather do and put put it to him and say look he probably fucking knows that you've had this thing going on for three years he probably knows but even if he doesn't go to his friend and say look me and becky we've got this thing we've had it going on for three years we we like each other okay as your mate i need your i need a green light from you that you're cool with us giving this a go and if if your answer is absolutely not i respect it and we will not go there if you're all right with it then we will see how that conversation goes and then go from there you're either gonna close the door padlock it or we're gonna give it a go and it depends on what your ex has to say you're pretty confident

he's gonna be like yeah sweet whatever crack on so that's fine but i think we need to get to a point now it's been three fucking years we cannot waste any more time in this situation we say look you you're either going to have to go and talk to my ex about wanting to take this further with me or be fucking honest and tell me you don't want to and we will shut the door close the fucking book you know have a bit of like respect me enough to just be brutally honest with me here you know respectfully like just tell me just just let me know what if you want to do this or not we're gonna we're gonna come to a conclusion right here right now you want to do this or not and if the answer is no perfect thank you for the closure i can finally fucking move on yes it hurts but it's closure i can move on from this i can stop wasting

my energy on this situation with these half-assed answers oh yeah i would you know i really like you i do have feelings for you but it just don't feel right because my mate i'm going to talk to him no i haven't spoke to him oh yeah no i'm seeing this other girl stop fucking with me at this point you're either gonna talk to my friend talk to my ex your friend about wanting to take this further with me or we're gonna be fucking honest with each other and you're gonna tell me you don't want to and i can accept that i'm a big girl i'm not going to lose sleep you are let's be real it's gonna It's gonna hurt us. It's gonna upset us. But we're gonna say, look, I'm a big girl. Just fucking tell me. I've had enough at this point. It's been three fucking years. I have a bit of respect. Just tell me. Just tell me where I stand.

I can deal with it. And then he'll say, yeah, all right, fine. I don't want to take it further with you. And then we'll go, okay, if you can sit here with your chest and say you mean that, I will take that as Bible and we're done we could be friends now but no flirting no texting inappropriately no talking to me that you've got feeling to me and also respectfully don't talk to me about the girls that you're seeing do you know so yeah that's what i think babe that's what i think really i love you good luck keep us all updated with that one all right love you guys thank you so much for sending in your dilemmas let's wrap up the episode stay for the outro okay everybody if you stayed for the outro you're my best friends in the whole wide world I love you

and appreciate you so so much what are you guys getting up to this week i have quite a slow week planned also you guys remember the psychic reading i was gonna have i think it was last week it got postponed so it has been moved to like later in the month but i honestly cannot wait to keep you all i mean to update you all on that and tell you how it went i'm so nervous for it though he's told me to like write a letter to spirit before the before the reading which is kind of fun i'm excited to do that oh i've got goosebumps then oh i've got goosebumps all over my body oh i'm excited but i'm nervous but yeah whatever you guys are getting up to this week i hope you all have an amazing week let me know what episode you'd like on friday what you're feeling what you're fancying send me a message

on instagram let's have a little catch-up let's have a chat in the dms all right guys have an amazing week whatever it is that you're doing and i will speak to you on friday for a brand new episode all right i love you